The Rachel Cruze Show - Marrying Into Debt: How Much Is Too Much?

Starting point is 00:00:05 All right, have you ever made good decisions in your life or even, like, done the work and really worked on yourself? But you still feel like somehow you're experiencing consequences as if you didn't. Like, you didn't make those good choices. And it can feel like that if you have a significant other who is in a different financial situation than you. Recently, Dr. John Deloney and I talked to a guy on the Ramsey show and he was so hesitant to propose to his girlfriend who had $70,000 in debt because he was debt free. So should this be a deal breaker? Well, we're going to talk about it. So make sure to like, share, and subscribe, and we'll get started.

Starting point is 00:00:39 So first and foremost, acceptance is the first step. Because here's the deal. If you have worked very hard with your money to get yourself in a great place, the reality is most people out there are going to have debts. So if you are starting a relationship, more than likely, they will have debt. As of mid-20204, the average American adult had around $66,772 in debt. So that's student loans, car loans, credit card debt, medical debt, all of it. So listen, debt, it is, you know, not a fun topic always when you're in it.

Starting point is 00:01:13 And some of you guys are trying to get out of it. But listen, it can be complicated and it can become more complicated when you're dealing with two negative balances. So as you're getting into the relationship, just realizing that, yeah, both of us more than likely will probably have debt. Or if you have become debt free, more than likely the person you start dating probably will have debt. Now, if this sounds like you and your significant other, here's what I would say when it comes to dating or marrying someone with debt. Number one, marriages that thrive most view themselves as a team. So this is not to point fingers and be like, look what you did and what you're bringing into

Starting point is 00:01:49 the marriage. Because listen, you have your fault to you. They may not be financial. But the idea is to humble yourself and remember that when you are in a loving relationship, it is worth it to work through these differences, these challenges, and to say like, when we do this and if we go the distance and we get married, like, we are one in all of this because resentment can build when you start pointing fingers and start dividing each other. So the more you can be aligned knowing that, yeah, if this goes further and we end up together,

Starting point is 00:02:18 we're going to see ourselves as a team to get out of this. Now, one place that I do see couples really trying to work on this is at our money and marriage events. Dr. Johns Maloney and I host these twice a year and they are so fun, you guys. The Money and Marriage Getaway, it's over Valentine's weekend coming up. in 2026. And it's really a chance for you and your spouse just to get away from the craziness of life and connect and communicate and get on the same page about your marriage and your money. And it is such a fun event. So make sure to check it out. I'll put a link down below if you're interested. Number two is if you decide to move forward, make sure you're moving forward

Starting point is 00:02:52 working on being debt-free. So again, do not X someone out of a relationship because they have debt. Now, can that be an insight on how they view money, how they spend money, and if they're constantly living above their means, if they're not wanting to get out of debt, if they want to live with debt, like, if this is a part of who they are, if that may be a red flag for you to be like, I don't see eye to eye with you on that. And that's going to be really stressful in your relationship. It is one of the leading causes of divorce in America today is money fights and money problems. So you want to see their heart and their intent behind it. But if they say, yeah, their value is they want to be debt-free. They want to get out.

Starting point is 00:03:30 out of debt. They don't want to live beyond their means. They want to live within their income. Like all of those things, green flags all the way. So don't, you know, move forward because they have debt, but ask yourself, you know, what are they thinking about the current debt that they do have? And when you get on the same page with that and you're both bought in, it's a really beautiful thing. Now, one less thing for you and your spouse to have to worry about is your internet, safety, and protection. That's why Winston and I love and use delete me. So if you do not remove your personal data from the internet. It's basically like a billboard out there, you guys, with your name, your address, your email, even your kids' names are out there on sketchy data broker websites.

Starting point is 00:04:09 And these data brokers, they love to collect your data, they sell it, and they make money, and then they put you at risk for scams and fraud. So here's the good news. Delete me, removes your data and helps protect you from fishing, harassment, and other online threats. And you guys, your family safety and financial security, that's too important to leave exposed. So sign up for Delete me. If you go to join delete me.com slash Rachel for 20% off, that will bring your monthly cost to under $9 a month. So I'll put a link below for you to check out. And number three is to shift your priorities to pay it off. So once you guys get married and you combine everything, then be like, okay, what's our very first step? And if one of you has debt going into the marriage, then it's like,

Starting point is 00:04:48 that's our step. Like it's to get out of debt. So together, sell stuff, get a side hustle, cut non-essential costs out of the budget. Like do what you have to do to get out of of debt as fast as possible together. Now, we do talk to couples where, you know, one significant other, they're not married yet, is starting to work to pay off debt on their own, which is great. And then the other one is saving up money. And then when they get married, they're going to combine everything. Well, this one's working to get out of debt.

Starting point is 00:05:14 This one's saving to then throw at the debt to get them out of debt that much faster. And that's a really beautiful way at looking at it. I would not combine finances or start paying on each other's debt until you're married. And the number four, I would say use the debt snowball. This is one of the fastest ways to get out of debt. where you list out your debt smallest to largest, regardless of the interest rate, pay minimum payments on everything, and pay off the smallest debt first. And a lot of people think mathematically, you know, that's not correct. You should pay off the highest interest rate

Starting point is 00:05:40 first, which if we are doing math, you would be correct. But money is more than just math. It is so much about your behavior change. And so getting those quick wins actually helps fuel you for you to be able to go through this debt-free journey faster and I think more intentional and more intense, which is a really great thing. So getting out of debt, ASAP is the goal. Now, don't forget to secure your response at our money and marriage getaway in February of 26. Get your tickets at Ramsey Solutions.com slash events. John and I would love to see you there. It is such a fun weekend. And you guys, it is possible to live debt-free with a spouse without sacrificing your entire life and relationship. You can still have a beautiful marriage while you're

Starting point is 00:06:22 getting out of debt. And if you don't believe me, check it out for yourself. Check out. episode. This couple turns paying off $32,000 in debt into a game and my reaction. Click here for that video or if you're listening on podcast, I will leave a link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.

The Rachel Cruze Show - Marrying Into Debt: How Much Is Too Much?

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