The Rachel Cruze Show - Money Lessons We’ve Learned in 15 Years of Marriage (With Winston Cruze)

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

💍 Get your tickets for our Money & Marriage Getaway happening February 12–14, 2026. Today’s special guest is my amazing husband, Winston Cruze! In this episode, we’ll share the biggest lessons we’ve learned in 15 years of marriage, plus how you can grow even stronger in your relationship. Next Steps: 🎥 Watch my video Money Habits You Need to Change Right Now (With Dave Ramsey). 📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan. 💵 The simplest way to budget. Download the EveryDollar app for free!   Connect With Our Sponsors: 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman  📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, today I have my favorite person on the show, Winston, my husband. We've been married 15 years and there's a lot there, you know, when it comes to money and marriage and working together as the same team, but yet appreciating what we each individually bring to the table, kids, raising them in today's world, all of it. So we're going to chat about all of that and make sure to stick around because later I'll share some details about one of my favorite events coming up that you don't want to miss. So make sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with the friends. All right, let's get started.

Well, hey, babe. Thanks for being here. It's good to be here for the first time. I think it is your first time, right? Yeah. I've never sat on this couch. Yeah, never been here. Well, welcome.

Thanks for coming. It's been a long time you've been doing this. Long time coming. I know. People have been wanting you. And it's happening. Well, it's great. We worked a deal.

We found it. We did it. Paying them by the hour. Okay, so money and marriage. is always a topic. I feel like creates conflict with a lot of couples. And I feel like it's like even the one piece of advice of combining your finances is like the one place I get attacked the most, like especially on social media and stuff. As we talk about money, we've been married 15 years and money in our marriage and relationship. Like I'm curious just from your perspective,

like how important is it to work on the same team and to say, yeah, we are one in this area of life, even though we're opposites. So we come at it differently. But seeing yourself as a as a unit versus trying to keep everything so separate and still like running your own on your own track. I couldn't imagine seeing it a different way where we would be having separate accounts and separate ways of spending. I've always seen the benefit of like two horses can pull a lot harder

and faster than one horse. And so it would be very strange, if we were, you know, running different races and trying to achieve, even if the goals were the same and we weren't doing it together, it just feels like the worst idea of a team that you could come up with. Yeah. You know, so it's a team sport. It's not like golf or it's like, all right, you keep your score, I'll keep my score.

Yeah. Because we're going to end up in two different places. Totally. Like inevitably, we'll definitely end up in two different places. I'm trying to keep on the same scoreboard. And I think it's, you know what I think it is? Tell me. I think people want to do their own thing.

Yeah. I think they just want to say, no, I want to do what I want to do. 100%. And so it's much easier if you do, you know what? You do what you want to do. I'll do it I want to do. That is avoiding having to look at yourself and do work. That's what it is.

So I hate to put, like, project into why people would want separate checking or separate financial goals and strategies. But it's easier that way. That's a good point. It's easier that way. Yeah. Because, you know what? We don't even have to talk about it. Mm-hmm.

I forget who said it, but it's like you're climbing a ladder, your whole life to realize that it was up against the wrong wall. And I think there will be a lot of people that get to the end if they do, because if they're not doing money together, probably not doing a lot together. Yeah, sure. If they do get to the top of the ladder, then you're going to be over there on that wall, and I'm over here on this wall. We've created two different lives almost. Well, this is a bad decision. So those are my thoughts on it. Yeah, no, I agree.

I totally agree. And I think what's hard for people is to that opposites attract. So you do come at it differently. And so for us, I would say that is true. So keeping this bounce. And I think this is true probably in all of marriage, but we're using money as kind of that filter of looking at this through. Because there's something to be said about keeping your own individual, you as an individual person.

Like you are created uniquely, right? Like there's something about you that is unique and we don't have to conform to the same person. But yet we're trying to work on the same team. So it's like that balance of appreciating and knowing the opposite. Like you're a saver, I'm a spender, you're a nerd, I'm a free spirit. Like the way we go about purchasing, what we purchase, how we think about spending or saving,

naturally is a little bit different, but yet we're working as the same team. It's very different, but it's not a ball and chain. you know, like you marry an individual. And then during courtship, humans or professionals at self-presenting in the perfect way. Courtship, doing dating? Yeah.

Yeah. It's so formal. Oh, sorry. That's not the audience, probably. We didn't court. No, no, we dated. But you're my person. You're my person.

So now I'm relative again because you're my person. I'm relevant. Okay. But when you're dating, we're really good at presenting. You're presenting your best self. You're doing everything you can for that person to sue you, and they're doing the same thing, so you can soothe them. And then eventually you come back around to realizing, where am I?

Like, where is my individuality? And so you say, oh, I'm going to actually celebrate what I bring to the table. I'm a saver. You're a spender. And that provides great strengths. and also provides great challenges. But it's not a ball and chain where I'm always like freaked out and frustrated that you're going to spend too much or you're freaked out and frustrated that I'm super boring

and can't spend to have fun. Like you bring both to the table and work it out. Yeah. You know, it creates a stronger balance. It's more diversified and more of a mosaic than it is like, oh, we have to. to be the exact same person. Yes. That's a measurement.

That's not going to get you to where you want to go. No, I know. Yeah. So it is that balance of in marriage. And courtship. In courtship. In court, courting.

To be able to, yeah, to know each other's strengths and weaknesses and almost see it as a gift of what you're saying. And I think that can be really hard sometimes for couples if money is a major tension point for them in their marriage. But. Yeah. It's hard. Because we want what we want.

Yeah. And to try to see it from your spouse's point of view is denial for a second. It's scary. It's like, oh, I'm going to lose myself. If I just try to hear what they're trying to say or the way that they're coming at this thing that they want to buy or this new goal that they have. But that doesn't mean you're forfeiting. Yeah. You're just letting them bring their strength to take.

table and you better bring your strength to the table too, you know? And that's what makes a really good decision. Okay, before we go on, let me tell you about one of our incredible sponsors, Christian healthcare ministries. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. The wait times are longer and it's harder than ever to get anything approved. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try Christian healthcare ministries, a biblically based alternative to health insurance. CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours

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We talk, I'd say we're pretty good at setting goals. We usually have like bigger goals that I feel like last like into a year or two or even more. And then once we do it, it's like, okay. And then we kind of chill for a little bit and then we'll do it again. But every year we kind of do a check in of like, okay, where are we at? We usually do that in January. But what would you say to couples out there that don't, they don't talk about this stuff. They really don't look maybe towards the future, even in like a year, right? Like, I mean, even that's kind of short term nowadays. But like even a block of time, where you're like, okay, yes, we need to do this together and do it well.

How important is it to feel like to be on the same page and to have something that you're shooting for? Because I'll say this, we don't always have like a goal. Like there isn't always like a thing. Yeah. And if there is, it usually lasts a year or two. And then we do it and then it comes up something else. Right. Yeah, I would say the times that you do have a goal, you don't have to have a goal.

But I would say, be. real conscious of that because if you don't have a goal but you're but you kind of have this fantasy or this vision of what you think life's going to be in five years or 10 years then I would say don't be surprised if it doesn't happen because the times that we have had a goal in our marriage financially are when we're the most synced up and also the most efficient um like it actually it actually moves faster your money you get more wins, you're more efficient with it. It, it, you make more progress when you're, when you're chasing something.

Yep. So you don't have to have one, but it is really motivating to set something out. It could be a month. It could be a year. It could be two years. It could be five years and back your way out of it. You know, a lot of people would be going all the way out to, all right, when are we going to be empty nested?

Yeah. And then what do we want our, what? What do we want to do? What do we want our monthly income to be like when we retire? And you can't build a plan. You can't even start to put legs to it if you don't know what the end of that vision looks like. If you can't. Picture.

Within detail, within reason, you know, you're not going to know down to the dollar, but where do you want to go? Some people just start with like, all right, let's just start right now. And you can't. You don't even know where you're going. Yeah. Which direction? Yeah.

How much? So I would say it's extremely important, but you got to, it doesn't matter what it is. But just put one out there and watch how efficient it is to get there. What I think is fun too is just the idea of dreaming together about what that future is. Like those are always fun conversations to me. Like sometimes. That don't really expose your personalities. That don't really expose like.

Well, we do this. What is it like your money just shows you more of who you are? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start talking about how you want to spend it in retirement. Yeah. You really get to know, like, what your passions are. Yes.

But that's, I think that's fun, though, like when we've done those days. It is fun. Where you're like, take money off the table. What would be your, what's like, what's ideal in the next five years, the next 10 years, the next 20 years? And we do just kind of sit there and like, we don't, we don't like write it down. It's not like, oh my gosh, we have to be like, we're like, this is the plan. But just allowing yourself to dream. Yeah.

Like, I want to travel the world for months at a time in retirement. Yeah. And I want to walk my dog. You know, it's like, it's a window into our passions. Yes. Which is good to check in every once in a while. Totally. I think you're still going to want to travel in 20 years.

Yeah, I will. Okay. Mm-hmm. Maybe I'll, maybe, maybe. Does it bother you that I book vacations on vacations? Yes. I do that a lot. If you're, like, on a trip and you're like, where are we going next?

I'm like, we're not even done yet. We haven't even paid these people. I know. Yeah, it's wild. Yeah. Do you, I always. talk about contentment in comparison as like my trap in life because I'm always like kind of looking for the next thing of like okay yeah do you see that play out like in my purchasing and in my

how we do money yeah a little bit a little bit my Amazon purchasing no yeah those are like microcosms I can't travel is like right in your face it's real big and obvious yes it's like you are living in 2027 you know but then um I think You're just, you're a forward thinker. You live in the future. Yes. And I live in the present, but just by personality. Right, right, right.

So not right or wrong. I mean, I, but, so I had to buy that dagum 12 foot calendar with dry erase calendar so I could see the whole year because you were booking things out that I couldn't even see yet in my mind. Yes, I know. And I had to be like, hold on, I can't, I don't even know. We probably have like 10 things on that day. But we can't see it. I can't see it.

I know. We have a massive dry and erase 12-month calendar in our laundry room. It covers the whole wall. Thank you, babe. You're welcome. Great purchase. You're welcome so much. Great purchase.

Yeah, yeah. But we see it. And everything's color-coded. So it's great. We feel organized. Yeah. So to anybody who feels like they're resonating with me, it gave me a little bit more like visibility,

which gives me a little more control. When I can see it, it just gave me a little more control. The visual. Yes. Or it's like, okay. It's not too crazy. It's not too crazy. It's not too busy.

Fall, spring, whatever, holidays. Yes, yes. I can just see it, which helped me say yes to more things. It's like a budget for a calendar. That's exactly. You know what? That was my talk at money and marriage. No, it wasn't.

Did you steal that for you? No, but it was... Your calendar is your budget? Basically how you budget, you can do the exact same thing with your calendar and your time. Unbelievable. How long have we been married? I know. Unbelievable.

Shoot. 15. Short years. Okay. So the calendar. There's a budget for your time. I know. It's perfect.

And we didn't budget with a 12-month calendar for a long time. For a long time. But that has helped us, though. And then in turn, I feel like it does make things. It gives me some security. Yes, from a scheduling perspective. So go get you on if you have like a cranky old husband who's always freaked out about too much. No.

Too much. We're just too busy. Too much. No. Pulling back, though, it's been good. I feel like we've done that. I think we've done that more in recent. I haven't overbooked us too much.

Yeah. Recently. It's been good. No. We sports have killed it. Sports. Sports. Yeah.

Okay. Speaking of sports and kids. Oh, wow. When you think about kids and money in our family, what are those dynamics like for you as a dad? Challenges, things that you feel like, we could probably do better there or we're doing that pretty well. Like, that's good. Like, I have problems because I always think, like, if I see. the kids get something or an Amazon box.

Like, I parent way too much out of my own childhood, right? So. We all too. Yeah, I mean, I went to the beach once a year in a minivan and no Amazon boxes to the door. But I remember the first guy who bought deodorant on Amazon. and this was like 10, 12 years ago. He was an early adopter and I thought, you were kind of weird.

That's really, you're kind of, you're kind of strange. Why would you ever buy deodorant ship to your door? And here we are. You know, I mean, it's the way that we do life right now. So I think the example that I'm using is when stuff comes to the door, it doesn't matter if it's deodorant. you still get a little bit of that dopamine where it's like, there's a box at our door and I'm going to open it.

Just be something in there because he knew. Dove soap, you know, but it's something. And we're opening it and the kids are there. And so you kind of see this, I don't know, it freaks me out a little bit where they're so used to things showing up at the door, material things that I know what is doing to them chemically. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it's this little buzz that you used to have to go to the store if you did something great,

good grades or whatever when you're a kid and pick out something, you know, and then hold it until you got home. And, you know, it's so fast and so consumer in 2025 these days. So that's my biggest, like, I'm excited for them to get to the age where they can earn their own way. Like legitimately earn their own way. Like, go get a job. Like, I'm no longer the guy who's going to fix your broken toy. Yeah.

You're just going to have to deal with it. Or save up. There's a dishwasher over there. Yeah. So that's what I'm kind of experiencing right now. That's good. The consumer side of raising kids today. And that's true with anyone, with any income level situation.

I mean, it is. If you buy your deodorant on Amazon. Yeah. Which I would recommend. I mean, I would recommend it's very convenient. Yeah. Totally. What is a lesson for the kids that you're like,

this has to be instilled in them or it's not going to be good? Well, money comes from work. That's my kind of number one fallback. I appreciate the sentiment that you want to find the perfect balance between what you're good at, passionate about, and makes money. But, you know, just go multi-yard. Like it's not going to be that beautiful all the time. And even in our generation, I saw it start to happen,

where people would stay at home, even after graduating, they would come back home and they would just be waiting on that perfect job. And I don't care if it's perfect or not. You're going to have to put in the time and put in the hours. Do the grind. Yep. Get that first check and feel what it's like

to have earned something that you can put in your bank account and choose to do what you want with. that that's not going to be your perfect like scenario yeah intersection of passion and money so yeah um the work thing is big the generosity thing

is big mine mine mine they're they're at that age right now where it's so possessive which is normal but eventually they will have to raise their eyes up to see other people and I think that starts with us too I think they will just mimic what we see

Yeah, totally. So that's, instead of tossing the toys, let's bag those up and take them somewhere. Yeah. Right? Let's get those clothes and take them to the people that just had a baby or whatever it is, you know, and like actually show them how to see others. Yeah. And not just Amazon.

Yeah. And not just Amazon. God bless. Yeah. Oh, you know. What about you? Good times, bad times. What do you want to?

What do you want to be able to? The kids, yeah, the work thing is big. I think there's something, there's just dignity in that with what you're doing with your life and making money that way. But I'd say gratitude. Yeah. Which we make them say thank you a lot, like after. Kills me if they don't.

We cook dinner or something. It's like, kills me. What do you say to us? We like make them tell us, thank you. But yeah, the gratitude piece. People that are just grateful in life, like happy to be there. You know, I'm just happy to be here. Thanks for this.

There's just something wonderful. It's a posture of receiving. Yeah. Instead of like, oh, I get what I want all the time. Yes. Yes. So the gratitude thing is big for me, I think. No, no.

All right. I hope you all enjoyed that. And I mentioned earlier about money and marriage. And it's one of my favorite events that we do here at Ramsey. And so this year, the money and marriage getaway is in 2026 of our Valentine's Day weekend. So this is just a great time to get away with your spouse. Again, life is just nuts. And so it's sometimes good just to like go away, be together and you're going to learn things.

We teach from stage. We also do a lot of interaction with the audience. So there's a lot of Q&As. There's a lot of time to talk with your spouse about the things that we're talking about throughout the weekend. But it's two and a half days, again, of interactive teaching, live Q&As and all of it. And so we just create this incredible experience over a weekend. And it's Dr. John Deloney and myself. And it's one of our favorite events that we do here at Ramsey.

And so this past money and marriage, it's completely sold out, y'all. So we do these and the tickets go so quickly. So the next one coming up is happening February 12th through the 14th of 2026. Early bird tickets start at $749 and prices are going up soon and that's per couple. So it is so worth it. It is a great weekend. People that come, they rebuy for the next year. And so it is.

It's an incredible weekend to experience with your spouse. So make sure to come. Get your tickets today at Ramsey's. solutions.com slash events. Well, thank you guys so much for listening and watching and make sure to take control of your money and create a life you love.