The Rachel Cruze Show - My Only Exception to This Controversial Money Debate

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan.   Prenups are a highly debated topic, and you guys know my take—your and your spouse’s money should be viewed as your money together. But . . . are there exceptions? Let’s talk about it on today’s episode.    Next Steps: 🎥 Watch my video The Only Exceptions to My “No Debt” Policy. 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!   Connect With Our Sponsors:   Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle!   Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman  📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I've seen a lot of buzz around pre-nups lately. And after 15 years in the personal finance space, my thoughts on this one have kind of evolved. So let's have a little pre-nup, heart to heart, and at the end, I'll share my number one tip on building wealth with your spouse. Make sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend. So first, I want to share a recent social media clip on this topic because on the Ramsey show, we get calls about pre-nups, and actually within a week, we had two different calls with two different situations, and we answer them. in two different ways because of it. So here's the first one. My fiance and I are both 36 years old. We're looking to start a Brady bunch. We've got five kids

between 10 and 12 between us. So the reason I'm calling is because we have a pretty large difference in assets. So I have roughly $12 million and she has roughly $50,000. And so we started the process of looking into a pre-up and it's been an emotional one. And I totally understand why. So, I mean, she feels like I wouldn't be fully entering the marriage in the same way that she is because it feels like I'm holding assets, like, separately off to the side. I'm just looking for maybe more clarity and, like, what you guys would recommend. I think it is a wise decision to do one. You're not, you're hoping and praying, obviously, that this is the one and that it's going to last a lifetime. But as you guys have experienced, you know, there, there is a reality.

to all of this. And whenever we, any of us get married, right? I think there is like this like, okay, I'm choosing you for a reason and for a lifetime. But, but we also don't live under a rock and know that things change in life and situations come up. And unfortunately, some really hard things happen and does cause as marriages to break up, right? To enter into divorce. And we don't want that. I think it can feel like the 12 million's off in this corner and it's never, we're never going to participate in it. But I think it comes into its mine if something happens. But up until that point, it's ours. Like we're sharing assets. That's a good point. That is a very good point. We are living our lives together as one. But for some reason, if if something ever

happened in a divorce, this part still goes back to me. So this is a great example of when a pre-nup is probably wise. So if you do have a major discrepancy in your money and in your wealth going into a marriage. That is the one time, I would say, hey, just think about it. Because it does a couple of things. Number one, I think it just kind of clears up any level of subconsciousness of someone marrying you for your money. If you're like, hey, you're not going to get this if this ends, then them going into the marriage, like, I don't know, there's a level there that just, there's kind of some peace. Also, it can kind of keep some crazy family away if they know they're not going to get anything if something happens. And then also, there's just something to be said about

managing your money well, and if you don't, then the state and lawyers can really end up deciding where your money goes. Now, I'm saying all this to say if there is a major discrepancy, okay? So if it is a car, no, no, you do not need a pre-up. But if there is millions of dollars, that is a difference, that is the one time. But again, my original nature reaction to preempts is usually no. I don't like them. I don't, I, there's something about it that I'm like, I just, I hate going in already planning for it to end. It's kind of what it can feel like. But after taking so many calls on the Ramsey show, there is this feeling of, okay,

if you do have and have built something substantial, like there is safety to kind of keep that at bay and to say, hey, if there is something going on. But also in the marriage, which I am not a divorce lawyer, so take this with a grain of salt because this can be considered commingling. but the money that you do have and the resources you do have, you all use that together. Like, see it still as yours because you are going to be able to build a life together. And that's ultimately what I want for married couples when it comes to your money. That you're on the same team.

You're not against each other. You are working together. So pre-in-up or not wanting that to be the bulk of the marriage going in, like knowing, like, we are together and we are one. Now, like I mentioned earlier, there was a second clip, a second call. that we got on The Ramsey Show. Now, before we get to that clip, I want to tell you about Delete Me. If you don't remove your personal data from the internet, it's basically like a billboard for everyone to see because your name, address, email, even your kids' names are out there on

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All right, here's the second clip of where I answered it a little differently. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and we're starting to talk about marriage. He's Australian and basically we were talking about finances and he would want to keep them like completely separate. He earns like a little over double what I earn. He just bought his first house as well. And it concerns me. He also mentioned maybe wanting me to sign a pre-up.

And I, I just feel not secure maybe marrying and having kids with somebody who feels, you know, finances should be 100% separate. So we were talking about it last night actually. And he was saying, well, I don't believe that it would be our money, you know, know if we were married, what I earn is like my money. So it would be his house, his money, and you just get the privilege of living there at a discounted rate? Is that what this future looks like? Basically, I don't think he sees it that way, but you guys are about to share a bed. You're going to have kids and share genetics that are

running around in front of you. Like you're sharing every other part of your life. And yet you have to Venmo him for Outback Steakhouse. It's a business relationship, not a romantic, you know what I mean? Not a partnership. And it causes financial infidelity down the line because you have no say or transparency into what he's doing with money. You could have a spending addiction that you're totally unaware of because you don't see the account. You don't have access to the account. Is he bringing in a lot of money? Does he have like millions of dollars in an account that he's bringing in?

No, he's making about 85. Okay. All right. Hold on. Can we? I thought this guy was like a multimillionaire. I know. Shelby, I thought he was making like four,

I thought he was a surgeon. I thought he was making half a million to 600 and you're like, I'm making $150. I don't know. He's making $85,000. I'm sorry. Get off your high horse. I can't.

Oh, I can't. Well, I'm like, I'm sorry. Your little ego is so inflated at 85. Like, 85's great. Listen, it's great. Hey, babe, let me handle it. I'm the breadwinner here. I know.

You know what? You're not even making six figures, dude. What happens if you make more than him? Then do you get control? of the board? That's been a lot of my issue because I've told him, you know, if you, if this is how we entered a marriage at some point, because of some other circumstances I could see maybe in the future, I may earn more.

His job is very physical. If he loses it, that's kind of, it's a big, it's going to be an issue. And if I do earn more later on and you have an issue, I'm going to feel like, well, I hope you figure it out because that's how you treated me. And that's not the mindset. I'm wanting to. Either way, the relationship is ruined. And you're already going into scorekeeping, like even that scenario.

You're not even married yet. You know what I mean? Okay, so in the comments of this video, everyone's like, what? You're a hypocrite. You told him not to get a pre-up. But you told the other person you did. You had the other person on $12 million. This guy in this clip, he's making $85, which is great, right?

Like, that's great. But to make you feel like, oh, I'm making $85 right now, and by you making, I don't know, 50, there's a discrepancy there. So I'm going to be the one to say, hey, we need a pre-nup for this. That feels wrong to me. There's something about that. I'm like, no, you guys are too close. in what is going on in your financial situation, that putting a pre-in-up, I think that complicates things.

So there is something really powerful, again, about knowing, hey, we're going into this marriage and what's mine is yours, and there's something beautiful. But again, for all married couples, my goal for you is to work together, to be on the same page, to budget together. If you need a great budgeting app, every dollar is an incredible tool. I'll put a link down below for that. but honestly, being able to come together emotionally, mathematically, financially, all the things and see yourself as a team, we find that you win with money faster when you are together and not trying to build two different financial lives. Now, if you think the pre-up conversation is full of hot takes, you haven't seen anything yet.

Check out the only exception to my no-debt policy is coming up next. You can go here or if you're listening on a podcast, I'll put a link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money. create a life you love.