The Rachel Cruze Show - Real Talk With My Mom, Sharon Ramsey

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

My mom, Sharon, is the keeper of all the Ramsey family stories. She was there when she and my dad, Dave Ramsey, declared bankruptcy. She was the one who had to stretch their very tight, getting-out-of-debt grocery budget to feed and diaper us three kids. At times, she even felt guilty for staying at home with us instead of working outside the home to bring in money. She also spills the tea about our family camping trips and the moment she knew I was just a bit different than my siblings! I can’t wait for you to hear her side of the story in this special Mother’s Day episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, welcome to this episode of The Rachel Cruz Show. This is a special one. It's really fun. I did a podcast with my mom. Mother's Day is coming up, and I thought, man, I need to get Sharon Ramsey on the podcast. She's like the sweetest thing ever, and I love her so much. And so we kind of dove into topics, everything from her memories of the bankruptcy that her and dad went through when I was just a baby, to me being a little selfish with our time and asking.

about what I was like as a baby and a kid because I was like, I want to know. So we just talked about motherhood and her experience, and I will warn you, you're going to hear some kids in the background, which is a little fitting for the podcast, considering we're talking about kids. So we recorded this at my sister's house. And so my little girl, Amelia, who's four, and my sister's little girl, Lydia, who's almost four, they're like three months apart. they are running around in Princess fairy tale fantasy land.

And so you will hear background noise. I'm sorry, it's not perfect. But you know what? That's life. So I cannot wait for you guys to hear this podcast with my mom, Sharon Ramsey. All right, mom, here we are. We're at Denise's house, my sister, your daughter. Yes.

You picked up our little girls from school. And so I was like, well, I'll just meet you at Denise's house and she'll be here. And so I was like, well, I want to talk to my mom. Let's have a podcast with Sharon Ramsey. Let's do it. People love you. Like when you've been on the cooking segments of the Rachel Cruz show. Rachel, I think you are really twisting the heart.

I swear. I swear, people are like bringing back Sharon. Well, it's pretty hard to think that. But if you say so, I'll take a little bit of that and say, okay. Do, they love you. Okay. Okay, so we mostly hear from dad in life because of his job. and so

rewinding almost I mean it's been 30 years of the bankruptcy years so go back in your mind and your memory all the way back dad talks about how like our marriage was hanging on by a thread he says he said

Sharon would have left but only had one car she didn't leave and so there's I mean not everyone is in dire straits not everyone listening to this is have, you know, he's in the middle of a bankruptcy. But money fights, money problems. It's a real thing.

Oh, my goodness. Of course it is. Yeah, it's one of the leading causes of divorce. So it is. So I want to know on the marriage side of you guys, as you have these two little kids, Denise was a toddler. I was just a newborn baby during that period of time. Was it as hard as he talked about? Oh, goodness.

So I think it was just more difficult, actually, because he probably had so much more information. Well, I know he had more information. Because he was living in it. Yeah. He was the one that made those decisions. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And I really think he probably held back maybe a couple, maybe months more. He didn't tell me the whole story.

I don't feel like early on. But I feel like as the bankruptcy, as time went on, he started explaining. Because I really think, and, you know, once he did explain, you know, we were thinking it was going to be okay, that we would be able to dig our way out. There would be a solution. It's almost like he wanted the solution before he presented the whole reality to you. Probably to protect you.

I think so. Oh, definitely. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I didn't understand real estate all that well either. Yeah, and that's fair. And I would say, too, 30 years ago, you guys were, hey, you didn't handle money as well as you didn't know. So communication even was not as perfect.

Like, if y'all were going through something today, it would look a lot different. Oh, definitely. Because you didn't have the tools on even how to communicate this. No, no, no, no. And, you know, back then, the materials that are available today, there were nothing. Yeah. And we didn't have anyone to talk to.

I mean, it was basically he and I talking after dinner, after y'all would go to bed. Did family know? No, we did not. No, we did not, no. Oh, I don't know why. Looking back, yes, we should have, I guess probably because we were just so embarrassed. I mean, you know, that's just the only. word I can think of just being embarrassed.

I mean, and during, I don't feel like people back then, they didn't talk openly about situations that were happening inside the home. Yes, because even now people like, go to counseling and they talk about counseling openly. Like, things are just so much more accepted socially when you're struggling.

Yes. Okay, that's good. I mean, I just always think it's interesting to hear more your perspective of it. Because again, he was in the middle of it. Like the details and the tactical side of what was going on. Right. And he had, a good business mind. I did not have a business mind. I was just concentrated more on being at home and, you know, what am I going to have for dinner? What are the kids and I going to do today?

Holding down the forts. Yeah, definitely. But we were on a strict budget. I will have to say that. And I had a certain amount to go to the grocery store and it was, I wish I could remember what that amount was, but it wasn't much. And to go to the grocery store and buy diapers and baby food, It was tough. Yeah. It was tough. Yeah. You had to look at every price.

Yes, I did. Talk about being intentional. Yes. Okay, so I have two little girls. Yes. Two little ones. You had two little girls and then you had Daniel. Yes.

So I feel like my girls, Amelia, is our four-year-old and she's like the little extroverted, talkative one. Mm-hmm. I'd say pretty oldest child feeling. She's like now obeying. Yes. follower more so than I would have thought. That kind of thing. Caroline is 20 months and we can't tell. So cute. Love

Caroline. I don't know. Just chunky and quiet. And a hugger. She loves to be hugged. More of an introverts, we can tell. And just, yeah, just sweet. So they are very different. So do you feel like Denise and I were really different? Oh, yes, for sure.

Yes, yes. I think Denise, you know, being the odish like you just mentioned, I think she was more trying to be the little mommy. a lot of the times when y'all were smaller. And so she was always kind of being a little bossy and protecting and that kind of thing. What was I like as a baby?

As a baby baby baby baby? Oh my goodness, Rachel. There's too many stories to tell. Oh, well, you know what? I think you started out actually when you were probably about two days old right before we brought you home from the hospital. then the hospital would give the parents a special dinner in the hospital room the night before you left to go home.

Oh, seriously? Oh, yes. We had a menu and we would pick out what we wanted. And I think it was probably, you know, something like chicken and steak or whatever. And also a bottle of grape juice, sparkling grape juice. So it was one of the romantic dinners in the hospital. But I do remember one difference between you and Denise. Denise laid in her little bassinet quiet as a little baby sleeping.

And when we had our dinner with you, you laid in your bassinet and you cried the whole time. And we looked at each other and we said, oh no, what have we done? We knew at three days old, Rachel would be different. Oh, buddy. Oh, it's hilarious. So did that, like, so would you say that that was consistent throughout? I think you were a little kid. I think you were just a tad more demanding.

I think you were very strong will. And when you made your little mind up that you wanted to do something or have something done, you were going to do whatever it took to have that done. And you didn't, you weren't a cuddler. I just remember trying to rock you. and you didn't enjoy being rocked. You didn't want to be held tight and bounded. Yeah.

Whereas Denise did. Yes. I wanted the freedom. Yes. And you have it. What was the best part of me as a little kid that you think back on? Too many things. My mind is just twirling.

I feel like I quoted movies a lot. Oh, my. Rachel, you were so funny. And you still, of course, are very funny. But you're a little personality. I'm thinking probably when you were about four or five, you were the leader. You were very outgoing and you were the leader of the little preschool class and everybody wanted to be Rachel's friend.

But I just think, you know, you were a little bossy and you were determined to have, I'll never forget in middle school when Beanie Babies were popular. Remember Beanie Babies? You had to have every Beanie Baby there was. and it was crazy. And I was one of those crazy moms because I personally would call all the stores asking if there's special beanie babies.

So as soon as you came on from school, we jumped in the car and went and got those beanie babies. Okay, so I was like the good side. That was the good side. How was I hard? And you can even say teenage years. We can go, we can go older.

I mean, I will just have to go back. I think your little personality, you were just very strong women. You were really determined to have whatever your little mind was set to have. Even if I was told no, I still wanted it. Yes, even if you, yes. And I just remember so many times I wanted you to maybe, I was trying to teach y'all how to cook, for instance, how to make certain dishes. And you just did not want to have anything to do with that.

And today, do you cook today, Rachel? You try. I do. I do. I do. You try. Hey, I made a homemade kale Caesar salad last night with homemade dressing. Oh, Rachel.

I know. You proud? Yes, I am. Thank you. Very nice. What's more fun, being a mom or being a grandma? Oh, Rachel, how could I choose being a mom or being a grandma? How would you weigh that one out?

A lot of them say, being grandparents is like, the best. Oh, my goodness. You know, I will have to say, backing up to when y'all were preschool, I loved the summers that we all had together. I just remember having so much fun in the summers, being kind of carefree, sitting, you know, outside and the two, the three of y'all playing outside and just having fun as little ones. It was fun. There was no stress. There was nothing. It was just a fun, fun time.

And honestly, there are so many times I just wish life today could be like that for moms. Yeah. I feel like it's kind of hard being a mom today in 2019, then it would be 30 years ago because of social media and all the comparison. I think all the, there's so many pressures on the young families. Do you like y'all have that? No, no, not at all. No, we did not. No. We were just, like I said, more carefree. And, you know, we didn't have to feel like we had to speak. money to impress anyone.

And it was just a very fun time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I feel like moms today, I feel like they have to do... Oh, I think so. Everything and everything has to be perfect. And it doesn't need... It doesn't have to be like that at all. Yeah. What were

things when you look back that you could tell me where you're like, oh, we did X, Y, and Z, and you should do that too as a mom? Like one thing I could think of as a kid, we traveled once you guys got back on your feet financially. Yes, yes. We took great trips, especially when I was in high school and stuff.

Like traveling, yes, yes, yes. Was a thing for us. You and Dad both loved it. And you guys loved to travel now. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You're travelers. But, like, that's something that I value, and I really appreciate. And it may not be, like, the most glamorous thing.

Like, we camped. We're going camping home. Oh, I do remember camping. Why did we do that? I agree. Is it not worse? Dave made us. He made us camp.

Yes, that was not, yeah, that was early on and that was kind of miserable. We did that a lot. Yeah, probably less than five times. Oh, seriously? See, in my head it was like five times a year. Oh, no, no, no, no, Rachel, that's in your head. That's a black mark. That was not.

But it's camping's fun for some families. It just wasn't that far. Well, but looking back down, like, But it was a memory. Oh, it was a memory. And I think when I was a kid, it was great. Yes. I was like, I did not think it was miserable then.

It was miserable for me now. Yes, yes. You know, I remember too, and some fun times we had would be, you know, in the spring or summer nights, we would ride our bicycles. Yes. Don't you remember getting on our bikes and just kind of riding up and down the street? And it was just fun times. We did a lot of family stuff together at night. Yes, yes.

We did puzzles. Remember the little puzzle game that we always? played. We had games that we played. And we would sit outside at night without no TV, no agenda, just sit outside and chase the lightning bugs. Yes, yes. I know. I feel like that's the thing, too, is I'm like, there's so many less distractions back then. Yeah. So it's like you have to be that much more intentional now to like put your phone away, turn off the TV, put the computer away, and like go spend time because that was huge. And family dinners. Yes. Yes. We did. Yes. And, you know, I grew up in a home that we would have family dinners and, you know, my mom cooked, of course, large meals. And I enjoy cooking. So it was easy for me to step into that. But, oh, yes, I always, and I felt with me being at home, that was my responsibility to the family was to prepare dinner every night. And, you know, dad worked hard and y'all were in school. You came home hungry. So, you know, as, um,

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed planning and cooking. Because you were, you were a great stay-at-home mom. Was there any part of you that ever wanted to work or were you great? Like being home was like, you're like, oh, no, I was called to be a stay-at-home mom, and that is where I wanted to be. Oh, no. I felt guilty. Many times I did feel guilty because I personally was not bringing in an income. Oh, yeah.

So I had a little bit of guilt because I knew at different stages that we needed more money. and, you know, I wasn't able to provide that. And I think, too, you know, I felt like sometimes when you said, when people said, hey, what do you do? And you go, oh, I stay at home. It kind of, maybe it rubbed some people wrong. But I think the majority of people, when you would say, hey, I stayed home, that meant a lot. Because that meant you were investing in your family.

You were investing in your children. And you were providing for things throughout the home. Totally, totally. And staying at home is hard. Believe me, you never, from the moment you wake up in the mornings till you go to bed, it's nonstop. There is something on every 15 minutes, there's something for you to do. Yes. And I always say, I laugh because some of my friends that are stay-at-home moms look at me and they're always like, Rachel, how do you do it all? I can't believe all you do. And I literally look at them like, how do you do it all? Like, I mean, I think being said, oh, mom. I'm like, it's exhausting. It is. It's a lot of work. And I feel like they don't always get the credit. No, they do not. But yeah, that is a full-time job. That's why like, I'm like, every mom's a working mom. Every mom. Working outside the home or inside the home. Every mom. Yes. But it was such a fun, fun time. I loved it. Yes. What was the hardest stage of raising? You could say me. I won't throw Denise and Daniel. No. What's your question?

Yeah, what was the hardest stage of raising me? What was like, what was my tough? years that you were like. Tough years. Probably when y'all were in middle school and you were involved with a lot of activities. And it was just so hard just, you know, with three trying to just carpool and the schedules that you had. It was just hard going back and forth. Yeah, that's good.

What was your favorite phase of raising kids? And you could say now. I feel like adult children or children that, you feel like when you can talk to them. and have like actual conversations? That seems amazing. That seems amazing. You know, Rachel, honestly, I will look at each stage of life. I loved babies.

I loved babies. I loved the preschool when y'all were learning things. And we were, like I said, we were outside when we were playing and doing fun little games. You know, I will have to say elementary having to do homework every night. I felt like, you know, I was going through every grade with y'all basically. So middle school and elementary school only because of the homework and the running and, you know, the activities. High school was fun because I think, you know, now you're an adult almost in high school. Yeah.

And like you said, communication is more open. Feelings are shared. Experiences of doing different things as a family and individually. It's not as tiring. It's not as tiring. Like even going on a trip with teenagers. Sure. It's so much easier.

And fine. Feet themselves. I'm fine. Yeah, that makes sense. I know dad, I always said that I've asked like what, what was his favorite season. He's like, I feel like every season. I know. I loved it.

It's just good and all of it. Sometimes I wished I could just stop the clock. You just want to stop the clock. Yes. Yes. Especially now with those little grandbabies. I know. Life is past.

Is being a grandma as great as you thought it would be? Oh, my goodness. It's even better, Rachel. Is it crazy? I think of your kids having a kid? Yes. Like that's weird to me. I talk with several different friends my age, and we say the very same thing.

It is just because we feel like we're still 35. Totally. And it's fun to see your kids have babies and how they're raising them. And we are so proud of the three of you because each, y'all have just raised beautiful little people. And y'all are the best mommy. and y'all have the best husbands to be the best dads. So we are so, so proud of each of y'all. That's sweet.

Thank you. I know Daniel Nelson, they've got to get on the baby train. Oh, let's not rush them. Come on, Daniel. They have a puppy. They just got a puppy. That's true. That's true.

That's true. Okay, just thought of this, because we haven't brought Daniel into this talk. Was it different raising a boy and a girl because I haven't done that? Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes. I feel like hands down little boys are so easy. I loved Little Daniel. And probably because I did have the two girls

and we wanted the third to be a boy. So that probably made a huge difference. But I just remember, Daniel was probably more of a little mommy's boy than y'all being more of a mommy's girl. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there probably is a special bond between a mom and a son. Yes, yes. It's different than a mom and a daughter.

Exactly, sure. I appreciate that. Yeah, I think so. Little Daniel. We still call him little Daniel. We do call him little Daniel. So funny. Oh, so great, mom. Man, Mother's Day.

Something in, like, your mom's past, a mamma. Yes. She's been gone almost 12 years. Was it 12? No, it's been 10, right? Winston, we're, like, just married. Oh, okay. So I think it's been 10 years, and she had Alzheimer's.

Do you think about her? Do you think about your mom? I do. You know what? Of course, during holidays. And you know what? I kind of, I know that, you know, she was a great mom as well. But I just know that, you know, I wish she could see y'all.

Yeah. And to see how y'all have lived your lives. And I know she'd be so proud. Yes, she was a good man, mom. Yes, she was sweet. Okay, so I do remember a sweet thing that I've passed down to my girls. And Denise has too with her kids. Oh, what is that?

Was the book that you guys read to us all the time. Oh, my goodness. The love book. Yes. I love you forever. I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. That's a beautiful, beautiful. And when y'all graduated from high school in your annual, I don't know if you remember this,

but in all three of your annuals, I went back and I quoted that verse because there was a parent's page. Oh, yeah, the verse of the book that like, yes, for parents to write in. And that was what I quoted, because it's so true, you'll always be. my baby. Sweet, mom. I appreciate you. Thanks for chatting with me. Well, I loved it. Thank you. I don't do this very often. I know you

don't. Yes. Well, Mom, I appreciate you. I love you. You're a great mom. And I've said this about you and dad. I give props to you guys because I feel like especially the adult, having adult kids, you guys have done this season so gracefully. Because you guys treat us like adults. Like I feel like we've now have more

of a friendship than like a mother-daughter relationship. And as a daughter, I'm like, I feel like you've just given me the respect and you ask me questions. You want to know my advice sometimes? So I appreciate that. I really do. Good, good. And I feel like we just have a really fun friendship in the season of life. I love that, Rachel. Thank you so much. Yes. I love that. I love you. I love you more. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed that podcast. It was so fun for me, selfishly to sit down with her. but all of you out there who have a mom, you are a mom, all the things around motherhood,

just know you have someone cheering you on here in Nashville because it can be hard, it's exciting, it's fun, it is all the things. I totally, totally get it. So I hope you guys found a little bit of inspiration and possibly entertainment in this podcast. And as always, if the spirit leads, leave a review, but make sure to click that subscribe button so you get all of these podcasts directly to you automatically. So thank you guys so much for listening. And remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.