The Rachel Cruze Show - Save Your Money and Relationships This Holiday Season with Dr. John Delony

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

We’re finally heading into my favorite time of the year: the holiday season! So, grab a hot chocolate and get ready to have the healthiest, most sane season—both financially and relationally. We��ll talk about how to save money on Christmas, get past the resentment that creeps in during the holidays, and keep things in perspective when it comes to different generations.   In this episode: ·      10 Ways to Save More Money by Having a Minimal Christmas ·      How the Holidays Can Lead to Resentment with Dr. John Delony ·      “Our Parents Had It Easier” — Why That’s a Lie   Helpful Resources: Christian Healthcare Ministries Financial Peace University EveryDollar                                                 Sponsors pay the producer of this show, The Lampo Group, LLC, advertising fees for mentioning their services or products during programming. Advertising fees are not based upon or otherwise tied to any product sale or business transacted between any consumer or sponsor. The following sponsors have paid for the programming you are viewing: Christian Healthcare Ministries.   Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

principle, a guiding philosophy in the Deloni House is we choose guilt over resentment. That means if everybody's having a big holiday party and it's going to require us to alter our travel plans to get back and we're going to have to go buy new outfits and we're going to find a sitter and it's too hard to find. It's not going to work for our family this season. Hey guys, welcome to this episode of the Rachel Cruise Show podcast. I'm so glad that you're here. So in this episode, we're going to talk about how to save your money and your relationships. holiday season. I'll go over why the comment, oh, my parents' generation had it so much easier how that is a lie. Then you're going to hear a conversation I had with Ramsey personality and friend

Dr. John Deloney on why it's more important to choose guilt over resentment with the people you love. This is a fascinating conversation and a really great reminder leading head into the holidays. But first, let's talk about the advantages to having a minimal Christmas. Take a listen. Since we love Christmas, I mean, there's just something about it. You don't get this kind of spirit with Thanksgiving. You don't get it on Valentine's Day. Halloween, no other time of the year.

Is life just that festive? Does life just smell that good? Christmas is just my favorite. But it can be very, very easy to spend a ton of money over the season. then you pack on inflation with it and life gets expensive. And I think people just feel the pressure during the time of year to buy gifts, to go to events and to have new outfits. And it's like every little thing that you have to do.

And then you look back year after year and things just are getting more and more expensive. So Americans spend on average about $997 on gifts and other items during the Christmas season. Yeah, almost a thousand bucks. And total holiday sales in the U.S. in 21 alone added up to $886 billion. And also last year, 36% of consumers went into debts for Christmas expenses. And almost 40% used buy now, pay later programs to do their shopping. So I want to talk through, how do you make Christmas minimal? How do you have a minimal Christmas?

And it doesn't mean that you can't buy gifts or decorate your home to feel festive and cozy and to have fun. No, no, no, no. It just means cutting back on things that are not necessary for you and your family and stuff that you probably don't even want to do in the first place, but you feel pressure too because of friends, family or just the culture. And it's getting rid of the things, again, that drain your money and distract you from actually enjoying the Christmas season.

So here are my tips for having a minimal Christmas. All right, first and foremost, create a budget and stick to it. So much of overspending when it comes to Christmas is you're in the moment, you're in the spirit. And you're like, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Listen, honestly, do a Christmas budget. You want to do something really weird? List out all the people you want to buy gifts for and put dollar amounts next to all their names and say, here's the amount of money I'm going to spend on each of these people.

And stick to that, you guys. I mean, honestly, it helps so much to stay in control of your money. and then also cash out some of your Christmas budget and say, okay, here's my money for gifts. And this is it. And once the money's out, it's out. So you can actually see it, tangibly hold it when you're spending it. Those kind of things really help you stay within budget and will create a kind of a minimal Christmas because a lot of people go way over budget and way over what they intend to spend and ends up maxing everything out. Next, it's kind of hurts my heart a little, but it's just true. say no to the matching Christmas clothes and PJs. Okay, I knocked this, I said no.

No, about two years ago, I was like, I'm done. Because one year, when Charles was born, I was like, oh, we need matching pajamas. And I waited two last minute, and everything was basically sold out and things that weren't were so expensive. They, like, knew the dramatic, needy moms like me. They were like, oh, my gosh, I have to get up to get it.

I was going to buy it. I was going to spend too much money, and I did. And so I just like, you know what? I'm not doing it. They can have some cute Christmas pajamas. I'm not against that, but feeling like everything has to match and all this, no. But I also will confess that my mother-in-law gets matching pajamas for all the great kids.

So I know it's eventually coming for us, which is very, very nice. So I will asterisk that situation. But it's not worth running around with your hair on fire just to get matching pajamas. Also, I would say, say yes to the Christmas parties if you want to go and enjoy with friends. but say no to the pricey hostess gifts. So some people feel like they have to go and bring this elaborate gift for the hostess, and it is still very kind to bring something. But you can do this and get really creative with it.

You know, you could DIY a gift. You can even offer to bring part of the meal, maybe just a bottle of wine or a salad or an appetizer. And if you want to make something, this is actually a really great option, not just for hostess gifts, but other people as well. So baked goods, creating your own loose leaf. tea or hot cocoa kits super cute candles christmas scented soap and lotion a cocktail kit with a recipe card and you can make like a fun flavored simple syrup get a little bottle liquor and a little garnish and just put it together and super cute you can make your own little cocktail

homemade ornaments and again these are just a few but this is a really great option just make sure that you're not spending so much money on all the supplies for the DIY gift that defeats the purpose because DIY can be expensive, so just be aware. Next, get minimal when it comes to wrapping your gifts and wrapping paper. So you can find really creative ways with things like craft paper, and you can even check out a video I did last year on cheap gift wrapping, so I'll put the link in the description. Also, educate your kids on giving back. So the Christmas season isn't all just about getting gifts, right?

this is the season of giving. So I would really, really challenge you guys, you know, volunteer somewhere with your family. Give your kids a certain amount of money and do an angel treat. Like do something where they're giving back to others. Also, you can try the four gift rule. So this is something to wear, something to read, something you need, and something you want. And I love this because, again, it makes it minimal. And you can say, okay, we have our categories, the kids even know ahead of time maybe,

that this is what you're doing. so they're not shocked, but it's just kind of a fun way to do it. So I would also say, if it's you and your spouse, this sounds very not romantic, but you can just cut out gifts completely. Yeah. Winston, I did this a few years ago, we just said, we're not going to buy each other gifts.

We're not big gift, you know, we're not big gift people anyways. And so we've kind of just relieved the pressure of that. So majority of anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine's Day, all the big gifts giving things, we're just like, no, we'll go out to a nice dinner or like do an experience or something together, but we've kind of taken the pressure off.

And let's be honest, even though you share money when you're married, still saving you money. Also, I would recommend instead of just buying a ton of Christmas candles because we all love the smell of Christmas, look up how to do homemade aromatherapy to make your house smell really amazing. So even things like cinnamon sticks and an orange peel

and like boil some water on the stove, for real can make like the most beautiful aroma through your house. It's so cheap. It's so cheap. And actually, that would be a great DIY gift as well. Like putting all that together for a gift for someone. Brilliant. Also, I would say, you know, fun activities can cost a lot of money.

So what are the free things you can do? Like drive around, look at Christmas lights. My kids love this. You know, get your minivan or your car, your SUV. Get all your kids in there. Get some hot chocolate. Get some big blankets. Put on Christmas music and just drive through the neighborhoods

and look at all the fun Christmas lights. So that's an easy one. that's when we did, you know, even back in the 80s. It's still cool today. So I just want you to remember that you don't have to go to every single event either when it comes to Christmas. So if you're invited to all these different parties or all these different secret sanas or all these meat Santa, you know, milk and cookies, all this stuff, you can say no, especially if you're trying to get out of debt or you're trying to free up your time. Already, as we're filming this, there's been this. and three, like, Santa's coming, bring your kids.

And I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't do it anymore. I used to try to do the mall Santa. I used to do this, Santa, and that's it. And I'm like, I can't, I can't. Too much, too much. So I'm going to give you permission. Just say no, don't feel like you have to do it all. You're going to be okay, and your kids are going to be okay.

So that, that's just a few tips when it comes to having a minimal Christmas. And again, I just want to relieve you from the expectation that either friends are putting on you, family, putting on you, culture's putting on you, and do what you want to do. There's freedom in that. There's freedom in saying, no, that again, saves you time. It saves you money. And just know, you can actually enjoy the Christmas season by not spending a bunch of money

and especially on stuff that you don't want. So give you that permission to have Christmas cheer and save some money. I have my friend and fellow Ramsey personality bestselling author, Dr. John Deloney. What's up, Rachel? Thanks for coming back on. Thank you. So fun. So we're going to talk about setting boundaries and resentment to very exciting topics

because the holidays are coming up. And this is a real thing for a lot of people. I think it's the thing. It's the thing. Yeah. I think it might be, right? It is. Okay, so first, explain what resentment is.

Okay, I like to explain resentment in contrast to guilt, okay? Yes. So this is an oversimplification, but guilt is when I do something that violates my core picture of the way I'm supposed to be. Okay. I'm supposed to keep a perfect house and the house isn't perfect. I feel guilty, right? I didn't do a thing that I thought I was supposed to do. Resentment is this idea that you have dominion over me, right? It's me feeling bad because of a perceived injustice or a power differential or a thing you did to me. Okay. And so I used to, like Bray Brown has a great talk about this, but I used to think it was resentment was me getting mad at you.

Yeah. And it's not. Resentment is me being envious of you. The power you have. have over me, the way you can make me do things that I don't want to do, the fact that you ruin my holidays, and I just have to sit in it, right? That's resentment. That's resentment. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so how are boundaries and resentment?

I think I know the answer, but I don't want to hear yours. How are they connected? Or like the lack of boundaries, how that creates resentment specifically around both the holidays, but just in life. I think whenever we put up boundaries, we feel guilty, right? Because boundaries come with no. I'm not going to. I don't feel comfortable doing that.

I'm exhausted. This isn't a good season for our family. And when we do that, we have this picture of Thanksgiving is when everyone has to get together. And Christmas is when we have to spend all this money. And that's not what a boundary is. A boundary says, this is our budget. This is what we have. This is what our family can deal with this year.

And so then if you don't have boundaries, it bleeds into, I give autonomy of my life over to you. Or if it's an abusive relationship, you take it from me. And you decide what I'm doing, right? And there's no boundaries. and my life becomes subjected to your life, right? What's so funny is, like, as adults, you think, as a kid, right? Kids, teenagers, they look at adults and they're like, if only I could be an adult, it's so easy, I can do what I want, all of this.

And then you get to be an adult, you're like, oh, I'm so unhealthy. It's the worst, it's the worst. Strings and attachments. I actually think it's worse when you're an adult because when you're a kid. You don't know. Well, you don't know, and there's somebody lording over you. Always, because you're a child. You don't want to go to Thanksgiving with my parents.

it's because I'm choosing not to go. And that's a totally different proposition. And we don't have any roadmaps for that. No. So talk through that. What does that look like to set the boundary, though? Because to hopefully say, hey, I don't want to resent you, so I'm going to hold a boundary, right? That's healthy for me and my family.

So whether it's relational, financial, how do people do that and do that well? Like even on the financial side, for a lot of people, it's like, let's spend $100 on every cousin and buy a gift for everyone. and you're like, oh my gosh, we can't do that. So I'm going to draw a financial boundary and say, hey, our family's not going to do that this year. Do you have to give an explanation? Talk me through what that conversation looks like. So a principle, a guiding philosophy in the Deloney House

is we choose guilt over resentment. Okay? Choose guilt over resentment. That means if everybody's having a big holiday party and it's going to require us to alter our travel plans to get back and we're going to have to go buy new outfits and we've got to find a sitter and it's too hard to find. It's not going to work for our family this season.

I can feel guilty for saying we can't make it. Yeah. Or we can cram it all in, go, be miserable the whole time, and we're going to resent everybody who invite us. We're going to resent the whole stupid party. And next year, and by the way, you should have. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to choose guilt this year.

I'm going to violate my own picture of the holidays in order to not resent you. I want my kids to always think of trips to Grandma's house as fun. I want to always think of the holidays with my mom is so fun. So this year, we're going to say no. Okay, so what if it's a hard boundary, though, for life? Like, it's not just this holiday we're skipping out of, but it's like, hey, maybe, I know you talk about this on your show all the time,

but there's an abusive, you know, verbal situation with a parent and an adult child has to cut off or whatever the thing may be. When do you know, okay, I need to set a hard boundary for life versus I just need to suck it up and be part of the family and do it? Like, is there a difference? Yeah, I took a call today on my show, actually, and the woman called in and said, everything in my body tells me that I can't have my brother in my life anymore,

but, and I stopped it right there. I said, somewhere along the way, somebody told you to stop listening to your body. Listen to it. If you think about going to this holiday event and your heart starts beating faster and you get that warm feeling in your gut, are you just starting getting angry? Listen to that. That's the most innate signal we have.

And we have so much, you know, I can shut that up with another drink. You know, I can shut that up with another Netflix show, right? I'm going to listen to that. And then this is important for me, because I'm an emotional guy. I'm loud. I talk too much. I run my mouth. I always have somebody I can check in with.

Am I reading this wrong? Am I a scumbag if I don't go to all the holidays this year? Here's my budget situation. Here's what our family's going through right now. And my friend will go, dude, you've got to go to the funeral. I don't care what's going on. You got to go. Or this is your mom.

She's 78. So, okay, you're right. I'm going to outsource that sometimes to somebody else because I don't listen well when I get emotional. That's a great point. And that's part of having community around you. People that know you well enough to speak into that. Okay, so let's say it's a, we'll use the money piece, right? That it's like, hey, we're not buying gifts for the family this year. So extended family, sorry, we're not going to do that. Walk me through how to have that conversation. Yes. Thank you for saying it that way. We often, when we're trying to navigate guilt and resentment, we expect people to read our minds because we want to avoid a hard conversation.

and then we judge them when they don't. So we decide, me and my wife or you and Winston decide, we're not buying gifts this year. The kids have enough junk. We're going on a trip someday. We're just calling it. We need to tell the family that we're not buying gifts. Yeah, we need to tell them.

Yeah. And we'll hint around, like, we don't think we're going to buy gifts this year because we want to spend more. But we don't come out and say it clearly and put our boundaries on the table. And so then they buy gifts and we get our feelings hurt or we start the resentment.

So step one is stepping back and identifying, here's what our needs are right now in the season. Here's what our needs are as a family. Here's our values in this particular season. And those things change over time. And then communicating them very clearly. In our house, we send emails around. Here's the holiday season.

Here's when we are hosting. Here's when we're not hosting. Here's when we'll be where. Because, man, you call somebody and they're on the way home after a hard meeting. You're like, hey, we're coming on Wednesday at 3 p.m. So pick us up it. That's a disaster, right?

We email and it sounds impersonal, but everybody stays on the same page. No, it's a good, and even having a visual in writing where you're like, there's evidence. I said it. Look, there it is. Okay, so I wouldn't have issue with a lot of that, right? Communicating stuff is not my, like, it's not my fear would come into,

I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Right. So what do you do with that? So, choose guilt over resent. So choose guilt. So you're going to hurt somebody's feelings. And here's the important part. When you put a boundary down,

you can always expect that someone's going to run up and hit it with their head and see if it holds, they're gonna run head first into it. And they're going to have their own feelings about that. And they get to have their feelings. Their feelings often have nothing to do with me. And when I try to take the burden of their feelings on and carry it for them, that's a disaster resentment, right?

Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, yes, yes. So I am going to let you have your feelings and my mom's gonna call and say, I can't believe you're, thank you for sharing that. And I might hang up the phone, I may hang the phone up and cry. I may hang the phone up and be so mad. But I'm going to choose guilt over resentment.

Yes, it's so good. And I'm making it sound so easy. No, I know. No, no, no. It's the worst. It's the worst. It's the worst. It's the worst.

Okay, is there a point? I may have just had this conversation, not in my own life, but was someone just not 10 minutes ago? And they say, it's just not worth my mom being mad. It's not worth it. Just go.

We're just going to go. Is there ever a point you give in to the boundary you're going to sit? If it's not worth the fight, it's not worth a fight. When I hear that type of language, that sounds borderline abusive. And that sounds borderline manipulative. And some people are abusive and manipulative by getting loud and beating their chest and saying, you'll do what I say. And sometimes people are abusive and manipulative.

And counseling, we call it from the one down position, oh, I guess I'll just do Thanksgiving by myself because my kids don't even love me anymore. And I guess I'll just eat in the kitchen because y'all didn't get me a seat. And so that's as much of a power move as anything else, right? So whether you're in a relationship that's truly abusive, whether it's emotional or physical, psychological, instead of saying, well, this is just the way this is, I would much rather somebody feel guilty and seek help, seek safety,

than to just say, well, this is my lot, this is the way this is. And then all the way over to a manipulative mom, right, who's just wants it the way she wants it, and I don't care how you feel. I want every kid around my kitchen table, every holiday. Sorry, Mom, it's just not going to work out this year. and she's going to do her things, and that's her story, not yours. Yes.

But separating that is where the health is, right? Like separating those emotions, that it's, you can have yours, and I'm going to have mine here. A good rule of thumb is, this is something you practice. It's a skill you're learning, right? It's a skill you're learning. It's not a character defect. I'm not weak. No, you're practicing something you've never done before.

And give yourself 24 hours before you respond to a guilt grenade, right? I just made that up. A guilt grenade, right? oh, you're not coming or the text. I'm sorry, I didn't get that right. You're not coming to my wedding or whatever. 24 hours. Hey, I'm not going to be able to make it.

Yeah, thanks. Or I'm going to call you, right? And make it super awkward. Sure. I'm going to give it 24 hours before I respond. I'm going to give it 24 hours before I respond. That way, I've got time to settle down and not say, okay, I'll go. Right?

And then I'll send him on the resent train. Totally. Okay, so John, what would you say to someone that's feeling the resentment already? Towards their family this holiday season, they're feeling it? Like, what do they do they do with? those emotions, those conversations? I think first you're going to feel those emotions and call them for what they are, right? You're not just going to walk around and throw your anger or frustration or snippets at your

family, at your kids. Don't kick the dog, right? Ask yourself, why am I feeling like this? Oh, it's because I agreed to this party and it's getting closer and closer. And every time we go, mom does her grandstanding thing, dad drinks too much and starts talking about politics and COVID again. I just don't call it out what it is, okay? If there's enough time and it's a hospitality thing, for me. So if they haven't ordered food, if they haven't bought tickets to things, if it's still in their imagination and in their mind, it's not too late to call and say, hey, we realized this isn't a good season for us. Our calendar's a mess. We've got stuff going on at the house. Financially, we can't make this work. Whatever your reasoning is, be open and honest. And then brace for it

because it's coming, right? And it's kind of on you. You didn't set the standard up front. It's okay. It's coming. Accept it. Say thank you for sharing that with me. We look forward to having this conversation again next year, and then deal with your guilt because it's coming, right? Yes. Okay, so if you're feeling the resentment and just the roof, would that be a time to set a boundary and say you shouldn't go? Yes. If you feel resentment, just go ahead and set the boundary. And if you can remove yourself, that's the best thing. Yes. Now, going back to the hospitality thing, if somebody's already bought tickets, if the ship has already left the station, if it's safe, it's not abusive. Sure, sure, yes. Go and learn your lesson. Yeah. Go and learn your lesson. I'll go to Thanksgiving,

and I get to choose my attitude. This is how I started with our family trips, right? It started with me saying, wait a minute, I'm already deciding I'm going to be miserable for the next week. What a dumb way to enter the holidays. I'm going to decide. I'm going to have the most fun ever.

I don't care what. And weirdly, the whole house lifted up a little bit because I chose to change my attitude. But this year was the first year in our house that we said, hey, it's just not a good year for us. And all of our family went, oh, thank God, somebody said it. Everyone exhaled.

It was beautiful. Yeah, it was wonderful. Because sometimes that's what people are thinking, whether it's the craziness of the business, of the schedules, or the buying of gifts, like whatever the thing is, but most people are feeling that. And isn't it funny, it takes one person just to be like,

can we take a step back and everyone's like, oh my gosh, thank God. Because they didn't have the courage to do it, right? Or whatever the thing is to do it. So stepping forward actually may relieve other people. I love that. Okay, so if there's been somebody and they have had resentment for years,

years and years and years towards their family, is there ever a way to reconcile when you've gotten to this point of, yeah, you resent them? So this is hard because I believe that every relationship is ultimately reconcilable to some degree. And the research tells me that when a relationship, when people end up resenting one another, that's the sign that your relationship is in ash, right? So you're not going to be able to reclaim what was.

When you find yourself resenting somebody, especially over a long period of time, the choice back into that relationship to re-engage it is a choice to build something completely new, really from scratch. This is who I am. This is who I'm going to be. This is how I'm going to show up in this relationship. These are going to be in my boundaries.

And if you want to meet me here, I'm willing to go forward. That's what that's going to look like. That's a hard place to come back from, especially in marriages, especially in-law situations or family situations, it does take a control, alt-delete, and everybody realizing,

we're building something completely new. Yeah. I love it. So great, John. Thanks for the conversation. Seriously, it's so good. It's so helpful because everyone's story is different.

Everyone's story is unique. Relationships have all the twists and turns, the baggage, the good, the bad, everything, but knowing how to navigate that. And we're talking more on the relational side, but even the financial side, you guys, setting those financial boundaries this holiday season. And, yes, maybe having guilt,

much better than the resentment train. So, so good. John, thanks for being on. Thank you. Where can everyone find you. You find me at John Deloney on the Internet, and you can find the Dr. John Deloney's show on YouTube or wherever you download your podcasts.

Podcasts, yes. Check out a show, you guys. It's so, so good. So I remember when I graduated college and went into the workforce, millennials had a bad rap. People were like, oh, those millennials, those millennials,

they just complained about millennials all the time, thought we were lazy, if we were kind of that first cusp of technology and social media, we were kind of on the front end of it. Anyways, I just always felt like people just complained about millennials. nowadays, I feel like everyone complains about Gen Z.

So I want to break down a little bit of what I've been seeing around this generation because there are some themes that are very true. And studies and articles back this up. But one of the things about Gen Z that I think is really important to encourage them if you're Gen Z watching or you have a Gen Z in your life that you love. You know, one of the themes is that Gen Z just believes that their parents had a way easier time when it comes to money, when it comes to life, basically, than they have right now,

and that it's really impossible for them to get ahead because life is so hard right now. So let's address a couple of these things, because I have some jinzirs that I know in life that actually are very interested in money. And in fact, they're kind of the opposite end of this spectrum where they kind of hold their money tightly. They're watching their millennial siblings maybe

and their parents, you know, know, the boomers struggling right now, kind of freaking out all this debt. And they're making different life choices. And they're kind of holding tight and saying, okay, I don't want to be like that. So there's some of them that are very, very cautious, which is great. And then there's another half of them that are just like, Yolo, just you only live once, might as well go spend and enjoy life. And that half, an article was written about them in Yahoo Finance that was titled

Half of Gen Z sees no point in saving until life goes back to normal. Here's what they're doing instead. And the article goes on to say that they're not saving, that they're spending tons of money on travel, they're spending it on personal growth. So they're starting businesses, so they're getting more education, you know, whatever it may be,

that they are just spending money. So they're not saving, they are spending. And here's what's tough is like, yeah, where we are right now. Sure, it is hard, right? Real estate is out the wazoo. Inflation is here. Yes, it is hard. but this theme that half of that generation has that says,

oh, my, everyone else has it easier and we don't and we don't. Here's the truth. Like, your parents did have it hard. They did. And they worked their butts off as well. And what I hate for Gen Z is this perspective of what life is and a lot of their perspective honestly comes through social media. I was scrolling through Instagram and saw this reel of this girl and it literally,

I sent it to like four different people. I'm sorry, I laughed at her. I don't want to be mean. But I was like, who? who the heck are these people? And this girl was like, here's a, I mean, she had to have been 23, 24, my early 20s.

And she's like, here's a day in the life of me working in downtown Chicago. So I get up and I make my, and she goes through her routine. She walks the office. She's like, I get there early. I open my laptop. She said, like, I check my email for about 45 minutes.

Then I go down to the coffee bar and make sure I get this, this, and this and then my friends come from work and we make sure that we meet and we get our snack before, our gluten-free, homemade, snacks, and then we go up and we work a little bit more. Then we go down to lunch.

And then we leave for happy hour that an advertising firm is having. We walk down, you know, she's like filming on. It's all put together. It's all like a minute. Basically, she ends, and I'm not even exaggerating, in a park on Lake Michigan with a blanket and wine. She's like, great night for wine and charcutory with my girls. And I was like, oh no, oh no, good for you.

Good for you, Sarah, whoever you are. But everyone else is watching you, Sarah, and thinking, why is my life not as good as Sarah? Because your life looks pretty dang good, Sarah, looks pretty dang good. But that's not real life, you guys. That's not how it works. It's not how life works. And I'm so sad that a generation sees that in front of them.

It's like, that's how my life should be. And it is. Life is just harder, not to be Debbie Downer, but it is. So when I see things like that or I hear Jinzear say, you know, my parents could buy this house for $100,000, now it's going to cost $500,000, you know, all the things. I just want to say to you. I'm really sorry because I know it's hard. Life is hard. It is. It is. But instead of complaining about it or having a false reality of what life is, let's just like get to it and say, you know what? I'm have a little bit of grit in my life. I'm going to work hard. Work really hard. It may not look glamorous, but I'm going to work hard and I'm going to work with the reality that's been given to me. So the reality of our world today, yeah, real estate is higher, inflation is high, all of it. We are all feeling. We are all feeling.

it. But sitting around and just complaining about it doesn't do anything. So actually having goals and be motivated towards something and know what you're aiming for, that's what's going to help to say, okay, here's the reality of where I am. Numbers don't have emotions. They're not sad. These numbers on the sheet of paper, they're not sad or happy for me. It's me deciding what's my attitude going be and how I'm going to move forward. Another thing, Gen Z, I just want you to be aware of, and anyone watching, really, is just, again, that victim mentality and just complaining, even publicly about things and not offering a solution. So I just want to give you some encouragement that we've all been through hard times, okay? We've all experienced it,

but you can do this, but I don't want you to fall, again, for the mindset that, well, just because life is harder and life is more expensive, I can't do anything. I don't want you to fall for the mindset that, well, might as well wait till life is normal again and there's not inflation and life is back to normal. Then I'll save. Take bad advice. I don't want you taking bad advice of get rich quick stuff. I'm like, well, if you do this and this and this and this, then everything works great.

And that's how you make money. Okay. Red flag, when things are very instant and very get rich quick feel, they're not going to work. So those are some kind of warnings for you to just say, take the common sense approach when it comes to money money comes from work work is hard it's not always fun but guess what we got to do it yeah to make money to go and eat and like pay rents and workages and stuff right it's part of the reality so again instead of just kind of sitting back and complaining about it let's find solutions to say okay here's my situation here's my lifestyle

here's what i want here's what i need mapping it all out with a budget with saving money having an emergency not using debt, using common sense money principles to really change your life. So again, not to harp on Gen Z so much because I know half of you are awesome and you're doing great things, but to the ones that have a hopeless kind of attitude about life, I just want to say, you can do this. You can do this. So again, I know it's easier just to chalk it up that, oh, my parents had it easier, but we don't want to compare to our parents and we want to be smart with our money today. All right, I want to thank Dr. John Deloney for being on the show, and thank you guys so much for listening. If you have not subscribed to this podcast, make sure to hit

that follow button. And if the spirit leads, you can leave a review. And as always, make sure to take control of your money and create a life you love.