The Rachel Cruze Show - The “Money Talk” Every Family Needs to Have

Starting point is 00:00:05 Have you realized that our parents are getting older? Yeah, that happens in life. So it's important to start talking about their future while they're still in a good mental and physical space. So today I'm going to walk through how to have the money talk with aging family members. There are six simple steps that will help you really navigate this season for your parents or your loved ones to feel loved and supported. But first, make sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend.

Starting point is 00:00:32 The first meeting I would recommend you having is, if you have siblings to get the siblings together. Now, I know everybody, you know, has a different relationship with their siblings and all of it, but if you do have a relationship with them at any capacity, getting together as adult children just to say, hey, let's all talk about this out loud. Mom and dad are getting older.

Starting point is 00:00:53 So how involved do we need to be when it comes to when things come up like medical visits and bills, hospital, or nursing home stays? Like knowing kind of the expectation of the siblings together, of, hey, what's kind of the plan going forward as mom and dad are aging? And again, if your parents aren't at like that age, you know, where you're like, oh gosh, really feeling that tension, it may be hard to kind of discern because so much can change year to year. But just knowing overall as siblings, like we are going in as a united front, that is such a gift if you can do that. Number two is approach is everything. So when you start this conversation with your parents,

Starting point is 00:01:28 they may kind of feel like they're losing their autonomy or their independence. And again, you're having these conversations just to make sure that they are set up well when something happens to them and that you know kind of where they're at from a financial standpoint, know about their life insurance, know about long-term care insurance, you know, if they still have a mortgage, like kind of their overall picture financially is kind of what you're wanting to know ahead of time. And that's just going to be helpful that when something happens, you have a plan that's already kind of set in motion, which is really key. But the way you approach that conversation, your emotion around it is really key. Now, speaking of autonomy,

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Starting point is 00:03:22 when it comes to them as the adult child, right? So sitting down and having that conversation. and maybe your parents have already talked to you about all of this. And if so, amazing. But again, it's kind of understanding, okay, where are we at? And if something happens to mom or something happens to dad, especially if your parents are still together or something happens to both of you, like really getting that clarity of why you're even wanting this conversation.

Starting point is 00:03:43 And it's really to better their legacy, right? Like you're like, I want things set up well so that, you know, when something happens, we know exactly what you want and what your desires are. Number four, remove control from the equation. So listen, you can't control anyone but yourself. And so ultimately, they're going to make the decision on whether they're even going to talk to you about this stuff. They're going to make the decision on if they carry out the things that you're like, yeah, you probably need a will, mom and dad, let's get a will or something, right? But you can't force them to do these things.

Starting point is 00:04:16 They are adults. So remember, you can only control what you can control. So you're really just opening up this conversation as a, hey, here's kind of what we're thinking. We're all adults in the room and getting these things in place. is really important. But whether they end up doing it or not, that is not on you. Now, if you are looking for a will or maybe they are like, oh yeah, we probably do need a will, check out Mala Bear Legal Forms. This is a great company that we've even used when it comes to creating a will and they make state specific wills. You can do it online. They're phenomenal. Number five is just give space

Starting point is 00:04:47 because this conversation, there's a chance it's going to be ongoing. And so give them space to process. Remember, you can always circle back later. You may not get everything you want in that first conversation, but hopefully it kind of becomes this rhythm of conversation about life. And I know some parents are like so anti these conversations. It's like they won't tell you anything. So remember, you can't control them. But also just know like, yeah, this hopefully is going to be kind of an ongoing idea and conversation because getting to what they want to do when something happens to them was really key. Number six, I would also say to protect your financial piece. So don't let their past money choices steal from your financial piece today. Because if you are in the same,

Starting point is 00:05:26 a position where you are really stable financially and maybe you realize, oh my gosh, mom and dad don't have enough. Like they, I don't know what they're going to do. And those worries start coming up inside of you. You know, this is always a really hard balance because if you have the ability to help, I think most adult children, you know, in most cases, like, yeah, what can we do to help mom and dad, right? We don't want to enable. But also, if you have the means to help, like, I get it. Like, we all have a heart. We're not heartless. And so there's going to probably be a time in a place where you are going to help. But if you are not in a place financially where you can help, don't sink yourself or your family, your immediate family to help your parents. You have to get

Starting point is 00:06:07 yourself in a stable position because I've talked to people and they have tons of debt. They have no savings. And they're trying to support like two or three family members and they can't, like they can't get ahead financially. So don't try to save someone when you're drowning yourself. Get yourself in a good position first and foremost. Now listen, money and family, it can be so difficult, so, so hard. So there are three healthy money boundaries to set with family. And I have that episode right here or if you'll listen to on podcast, click the link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.

The Rachel Cruze Show - The “Money Talk” Every Family Needs to Have

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