The Rachel Cruze Show - This Call Left Dave Ramsey Speechless (My Reaction)

Starting point is 00:00:05 I recently saw a video from The Ramsey Show, a show that I co-host every week. And this specific episode, it was Dave Ramsey and Dr. John Deloney. And the caller was dealing with a parenting situation. And it had Dave a little perplexed. And I actually get this question all the time. So I thought we would watch the clip and kind of dive into the conversation a little bit deeper together. So be sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend. All right.

Starting point is 00:00:31 Here is the clip that I saw. I'm just wondering if there is any way or hope to get an 18-year-old to budget when they are surrounded by wealth and not limited by regular constraints. They have no debt. They're not paying for college. They're not paying for cars. Who's 18-year-old? My 18-year-old. You just, so you put some givens in there of which you control all of them.

Starting point is 00:01:04 I don't. Her family, the in-laws will give her money whenever she asks. She thinks everybody should get their own car. She thinks everybody, no 18-year-old needs to budget. And she's off to college next year, and we're trying to help her. Who pays for college? Well, her father will pay for it. Her father married to you?

Starting point is 00:01:29 Yes. Okay. So we will pay for her college. Yes. And, yeah, so we can't really say if you don't do this, then we won't pay for college because she knows that she knows he will pay for the college. Oh. How are you, you don't have a daughter problem. You have a husband problem. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm, yeah. Yeah. So let me put it this way. She's acting like an 18-year-old. And I wouldn't be grudge her a second because she's acting exactly developmentally appropriate. Dave just nailed it. You have a husband problem. And it's his parents that are the twerps, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:06 Yeah. So he needs to tell his mom and dad, stop it. You're screwing up my kid. And he needs to stop screwing up his kid. Yeah, I think so. No, you don't. So this is a question that we kind of get a lot where they're like, hey, listen, I don't want to screw up my kids. But yet we have all these resources.

Starting point is 00:02:27 And this specific call, I think Dave kind of nailed it on the head of like, uh-huh, well, you're the adults in the house. So you're the one screwing it up. I like what Dr. John Loney said, too. He's like, she's 18. Like, her whole frontal cortex isn't even fully developed to make decisions. You're the parents still. You are the parents. And yes, she's 18 about to go off to college. But you guys have the ability to do some really great things and create some boundaries. But listen, I was raised with parents and they were building wealth as we were getting older. And I know now that parents who want to set their kids up for success, there has to be things put into place. So if you are,

Starting point is 00:03:04 maybe on Baby Step 7, and you want to raise, like, humble, smart, resilient kids. It's so important to talk about this. And even if you're not there yet, but maybe you do have kids and you're on this financial journey, and you're like, what do we do? How do we do this? How do we not raise entitled brats? How do we raise kids who have the ability to make a name for themselves and to go out and to work hard and understand how money works from an early age?

Starting point is 00:03:29 So here are six things just to keep in mind that have been helpful for me. but also it's some things that I've heard from other people that have done this really, really well. So number one is as parents, we are responsible for the family unit, okay? And here's the thing. Money and kids, they're not the problem. If you're the parents, you're the one that really is the one putting in these habits and the environment for your kids. And so you want to be able to say, this is our responsibility.

Starting point is 00:03:58 Like, this is what we have to do. And you can't control your kids. I get that. but you can put mechanisms in place in the family unit within boundaries, within the environment that help them see that money itself has boundaries. And it's not limitless. It's not. And so they have to understand that from a really early age.

Starting point is 00:04:18 Now, if you are trying to take control of your family's finances and money habits, every dollar is a great budgeting app that you can make sure to check out. But understanding that it has limits, it has boundaries, money does. Your kids need to know that. Number two, kids should have consequences when they don't meet expectations. So regardless of your level of wealth, regardless of whether you know, you decide of what you're going to give your kids, what you're not, your kids have to create some responsibilities that are going to force them to take ownership of something.

Starting point is 00:04:50 And so regardless of what the details are, they need to realize that every action they have has consequences because this prepares them for the real world. And so there is this idea of you work, you get paid, you don't work, you. you don't get paid. Like something simple like that on a commission system for your kids is great. And when you give your kids responsibility, it actually gives them a level of self-worth when they actually complete something. They know that they can contribute. And that is a really powerful thing when they go out into the real world knowing that their contribution and what they give to the world and to their families is really important. Number three, to remind your kids that other people are

Starting point is 00:05:23 always going to have and do things that you don't. Again, back to this limit idea. Like, we are not going to go and look and do exactly what. other families in our lives do. We're not. Like, that's just the reality. There will always be people that have more money, more time, more energy, all the things in their lives. Things have limits. These parts of our lives have limits. And this is not a scarcity mentality. This is just a reality. And so I say this to our kids a lot. Like, they, well, so-and-so has this and this. And I'm like, guys, for the rest of your life, there's going to be somebody. There's going to be somebody that always is going to have or experience or do things that you're not going to be able to,

Starting point is 00:06:02 to experience and do and have. Like, you're just not, right? There's people in my life that I see. I'm like, oh, my gosh, look at all this big stuff they're doing. I don't have the ability to do that stuff. Like, I can't, right? So they have to learn that that's always going to be an issue. And this gets into a little bit of like the comparison cycle and all of it.

Starting point is 00:06:17 You cannot compare yourself to everyone else because someone is always going to have a newer, bigger, nicer thing than you. And that's okay. That's okay. The next tip on my list comes from my husband. But before I share that, I do want to tell you about one of our incredible sponsors, delete me. If you don't remove your personal data from the internet, it's basically like a billboard for all to see because your name, your address, your email, even your kids' names are out there on

Starting point is 00:06:42 sketchy data broker websites. And data brokers collect your data, they sell it and it puts you at risk for scams and fraud. But the good news is, Delete Me goes in and removes your data and helps protect you from fishing, harassment, and other online threats. Winston and I use Delete Me, and it saves us so much time and worry. So you guys, your family's safety and financial security are way too important to leave exposed. So sign up for it, delete me and take control. Go to join delete me.com slash Rachel for 20% off, bringing your monthly cost to under $9. Or click the link in the description. All right, number four is to create and maintain a baseline. This is something that Winston always says, because I do worry about this. I'm always like, oh my gosh, our kids. Like, are they

Starting point is 00:07:22 going to be okay? Because they're experiencing a life totally different than what I experienced growing up. And so it, you know, not totally different. Like my parents did they did a good job, but like my kids, to the beach. I was like, we never, like, really did that growing up. Like, there's things like that that they are experiencing. And so Winston was saying the other day, because we're talking about this, he was like, Rachel, like, our baseline is so important. Like, what our kids know is normal is really important. But they don't get everything they want. We're not going to go buy new stuff all the time for them. Like, like, we're just not. Like, we're going to, they're going to hear the word no quite a bit. I mean, there's some fun yeses. But the thing is, when these big

Starting point is 00:07:56 spikes in life happen, the big excitements, the big trip, the big purchase, whatever it is, there's spikes. We don't live at the spike level. We live down here. So when the spikes happen, we can actually be really grateful and understand like, this is a big deal. This is really fun. We don't do this a lot. And there's something about that living that I think is so healthy. So that baseline, what you said is normal is what they're going to expect life to be like. So if normal is being generous, being kind, working hard, hearing the word no, like all of that, that's what we want. It's a beautiful thing. Number five is that more is caught than taught. So we can talk all day about this, you guys, but your kids are watching you. They're watching you. And there's something about saying all of this that is great, but if you're not living it out yourself, your kids are going to pick up on that. They are so smart. They hear things, they see things. They are watching and observing. And they're assuming how you're doing life is the right way to do life. So you can give them all the speeches in the world, but what is so powerful is your actions and what you are doing. And man, it is so hard, though, because raising kids, it is an

Starting point is 00:08:59 It is not a science. I wish we had like a checklist of like every little thing you need to do. But it's just not like that. It's not. I mean, every kid is different. Every, you know, the way you parent may even change depending on the kid and what they need, all of it. So it is tough. But again, all of these things as you keep it in mind, I know it's just, it's a lot. I don't know so much if you have kids. I love what Andy Andrews says. You're not just trying to raise good kids. You're trying to kids to be good adults. Like, how are you preparing them for life in the real world while still being kids, yes, but be thinking through this as you are explaining things to them, creating a lifestyle, you know, and value system in your household, all of it. And remember, you want your kids to have

Starting point is 00:09:41 some bumps in the road. The goal is not a clear, smooth path in life. It's not because that is not life. And so creating some of this resilience in them, I think, is so big. Now, I happen to agree with dad on this call, but there are some times that I disagree. with my dad. So check out the episode. Two times that I've disagreed with Dave Ramsey, you can click here to watch it, or if you're listening on podcast, click the link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.

The Rachel Cruze Show - This Call Left Dave Ramsey Speechless (My Reaction)

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