The Rachel Cruze Show - Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Parent? Start With These Questions

Episode Date: July 25, 2025

💵 The simplest way to budget. Download the EveryDollar app for free! Trying to decide whether to be a working parent or a stay-at-home parent? In this episode, I’ll share five questions that will help you and your spouse make the best choice for your family. Next Steps: 🎥 Watch my video 7 Creative Side Hustles for an Extra $1,000 a Month. 📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan. Connect With Our Sponsors: Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman  📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So one question a lot of couples and families are wrestling with is, is it better to have two incomes and pay for child care or have one parent stay home? So if you are considering this in your home, here are five questions that can help you make that decision. And stay tuned because at the end I'll be sharing my biggest working parent lesson that I have learned in 10 years of being a mom. So make sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend. All right, first, before I share the five questions, there's kind of this invisible, step that's really crucial. And that is to know your why. Why are you wanting to stay home? Why are you wanting to go back to work? Why are you thinking about going part-time? Like, understanding what is going on inside of you and your motivations for the answers to those questions are really important.

So there is a level of kind of self-reflection I want you to have that I think is really key in this overarching concept, right? Because if your answer is, oh, God, I feel like I should go back to work, because if not, like, we're going to have to limit our lifestyle, and I don't want to limit my lifestyle, and that makes me nervous. And there's a lot of fear there. Okay, well, let's tap into that, right? Like, start digging through the layers of why. Or maybe I feel like I need to go home because that's what a good mom does. And that's what society's telling me, you know, in my part of the country that's what I should be doing. We'll dig more into that, right? So understanding the answer to that question is going to kind of help you flesh out and get to a healthier perspective that's really important to have. All right. The first question is, it's kind of high. hypothetical, but which budget makes the most sense? So what I want you to do is I want you to create a couple of mock budgets for your household. So first, I would say total your income if you're both working, okay? You're both going to work after maternity leave and then list out all of your expenses, which will include child care, and see how that feels. It's like, oh gosh, you know, there's going to, I'm going to be paying for more gas because the child care place that I want is like across town,

how much is child care? Like, oh my gosh, like, list all that out and kind of just see, okay, how does that feel? And then do another budget and say, okay, what if I don't work? What if I do stay home full time after kids? And there's one income, no child care expenses, but how does that feel?

If I eliminate one entire income, like, is that possible? Could we still live on that? Even, you know, maybe we have to make tweaks to make it work, but those tweaks are worth it because it's what we want to do. That's great. And then make a third one that, like, if you work part time,

there's so many jobs right now that even working from home, you know, 20 hours a week you can do. So make a third. And just kind of get a glimpse of what the reality is because I think emotions can drive stuff so quickly when it comes to these decisions, especially when we're talking about our kids. And if you're a first time mom especially that you're, you know, you have the baby, like, it's a lot. It is a lot. And so getting some facts and some numbers is going to help you see the reality because you may look and be like, okay, this makes no sense. Like maybe literally one income is going to pay for child care because child care is so expensive, and that's not worth it. Or maybe you say,

there's no way we can live where we live with the friends and the family, the community, where we live with just one income. And we're not willing to budge that because that part of our life is high value to us. So we are going to have two incomes, right? So you may actually start to see an answer come in one of those three budgets. All right, number two is can you cut non-essential expenses and earn partial income from home? So when we're looking at the budgets and you're saying, okay, if there is one that you say, you know, we're going to have one income and we're going to have to cut some expenses. So look at that and be realistic about it, because if your desire is to be home, you want to figure out a way to do that. And for some

people, that desire is so strong that they are willing to move. They're willing to do other things, make really big decisions for that value system of their family, which is great. But there probably will have to be some things that are cut. Because for most people, if you're used to living on two incomes, you have built a life and a lifestyle around those two incomes, which is great. But if one of those gets taken away, you have to decide, okay, can we live on this?

And then you can even say, hey, if I do something, you know, a side hustle or something part-time to provide a cushion, does that allow me to still get at what I want to be able to be home more, maybe with one or two days of child care versus five days, and we can still do it with our expenses? But be looking to see, okay,

from an income side and an expense side, where can we up, lower these things to make the numbers work? Number three is would staying home or going back to work affect quality of life and mental health. So here's what I love about us as people. We are all so uniquely wired. We really are. So I have friends in my life that I'm like, I talk to and they are 100% like, I have to be home. If I go to work and I drop my baby off, I have more. stressed doing that, than cutting expenses and living on one income. Like, I want to be home. And that

is like full blood, who they are. They love it. It's what they want. It's what they desire, which is beautiful and great. So do it. Or I have other friends and they're like, if I don't go back to work, I'm going to be crazy. And people would say, you know, again, I feel like some of this is controversial. Either way you look at it. But some of my friends are like, I'm a better mom because I have a break. Like there's some of that space. And I actually can be way more present and way more involved because I think I may go into depression if I am home all day, right? So who you are, you need to know that about yourself. So as you're making this decision, make sure you know yourself well enough and to know, like, things can change if they need to, but that peace of mind for you

to be a healthy individual is so important. And obviously, we're looking out for the good of our kids and the family unit for sure. So you need to factor in all of these things, right? You've chosen to get married, you have babies, like all of it. So like there's so many factors at play. but for you and yourself, like, take a moment and just say, okay, what is my, what is my gut reaction on how I'm wired, how I'm created? All right, before I share more questions to ask and my number one tip after 10 years of parenting, I do want to tell you about our sponsor, Delete Me. If you don't remove your personal data from the internet, it's basically, like, it's on a

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exposed. So sign up for Delete Me and take control. Go to join DeleteMe.com slash Rachel for 20% off, bringing your monthly cost to under $9. Or just click the link in the description. All right. Number four, a good question to ask yourself is, are you debt-free? Now, this is not something that I would say if you're not debt-free, then you can't stay at home. You have to go back to work.

No. When it comes to kids and marriage and all the things, like, regardless of where you are financially, do what is best for you, because you can figure it out beyond that. You really can. But I will say, too, there is something realistic about if you don't have payments and if you didn't have two $600 car payments and you didn't have an $11,000 credit card bill and you didn't have, you know, a few hundred dollars going out to student loan debt every month. If you had cut all those down, all that money and put it back in your budget, there may be a better chance that mathematically you could stay at home because that could be literally $1,000, $2,000 going out in payments every month that could be back to you if you were debt-free. So we do talk to a lot of couples that are

like, hey, you know, I am going to work and the goal is in two and a half years we're debt-free, and then I'm going to, that's one of their goals is once I become debt-free, I'm going to go and stay at home because mathematically we're able to, but also the stress of carrying around debt isn't there anymore. And there is so much freedom to make decisions. So again, I'm not saying that if you're not debt-free, you can't stay home. Okay. Yes, your debt-free journey may be a little bit longer on one income, and that's okay. But just knowing, again, if you don't have payments, that's money back, which may give you more margin and more breathing room. Number five, do you have a three to six month emergency funds saved? Because again, we are looking for peace here.

And if you don't have debt and you have some money in the bank, just in case something happens, that gives you way more peace of mind. Because the hard thing is, and I've talked to people like this, that they go and they stay home full time, but financially, it's kind of a disaster. And they have tons of debt. They have no savings. And the whole thing just ends up being more stressful. And they're like, I can't do anything. Like, I want to go to the zoo. Or like, I want to do things with my kids, but we have no money. I can't do anything. and they're like, oh, I wish we were in a better place financially. So maybe it is one of those moments that you're like, yeah, maybe I work for a season until we get to a good place and then I can come home and have more peace.

But I always say that, like getting control of your money and creating a life around your money is all about peace. Like what is going to give you the most peace? Because that is so crucial. All right. One of the biggest lessons, though, I've learned as a working mom is that seasons change. Okay, kids grow up, they start school, they move out. your job is going to change, your spouse's job's probably going to change, your friendships are going to change, community evolves, your extended family dynamics are going to change. Like, nothing in life is permanent.

So if you're making a decision during the season of life, just let me remind you, you can make a different decision later. Like what you're doing is not set in stone. It's not. And so there may be a season that, again, challenging, but you're like, this is where I feel like I need to be, that's great. Then go be there, whether it's at work or at home. Then you could look up six months later, nine months later, two years later, and you're like, all right, things are changing. I kind of think I'm going to shift this way, right? Like, you have that ability. It's wild.

I dropped Charles off at his last day of preschool. This was about two months ago because he's starting kindergarten in the fall. And I, like, boohoo, y'all. I got so emotional. I was not expecting it. I'm not really a crier. And I, like, was hugging the director. I mean, everyone, I was just like, oh, this is the last drop off of it.

Because what hit me, I told Wednesday, I was like, I kind of felt out of control because everything in our lives, we have decisions over. Like, you get to decide and choose, like, the job that you have, the house you live in, the church you go to. Like, we get, as adults, we get to make decisions in our life. But time is the only thing that forces us to make decisions, right? It's pretty wild. Like, it's like, I don't have a decision in this. Like, it's happening.

Life is going. And it's kind of this bizarre thing. So just remember, like, time is going to keep moving forward. And because of that, it may force some certain decisions in your life, but it also gives you the ability to know you can make other decisions. So just know, you have a lot of control over your life. You're able to make decisions on what creates the most peace for you, and I implore you to do it. And if the decision is wrong and it doesn't create peace and you want to make a different decision, you can. Now, if you desperately need some ideas of maybe how to earn extra income, because maybe you do want to stay home.

Check out seven creative side hustles for an extra $1,000 a month. You can click there to watch or if you're listening on podcast, click the link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.