The Rachel Cruze Show - Ways to Change Your Life and Money Right Now!

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

If you want to change your life, you need to prepare your heart for this: Change isn’t easy. But you know what else? It’s worth it. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why most people struggle to make lasting change, and what you can do to be different. How a family of six hit rock bottom before paying off $77,460 in 36 months—and what changes they made to make it happen. Practical steps you can take to overcome fear and find a career you love. Resources (everything mentioned in this episode): The Proximity Principle - (Start reading for free)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I was so stressed. We had maxed out our last credit card. What changed within your marriage when you guys started communicating, actually talking about money? I think there's so much hope between us, and we talk more about our future. Radio talk show hosts and career expert Ken Coleman. If I'm around the right people and I'm in the right places, then opportunity will come to me. Hey, everyone, welcome to this episode of The Rachel Cruz Show. I'm so glad that you're listening.

And this episode, we are going to talk about change. change is very important in order to get where you want to go, but change is uncomfortable. We are all comfortable with what's familiar, but in order for you to have a better life, sometimes you have to embrace change. So in this episode, we're going to talk to a couple who had some pretty unhealthy money habits, and they changed overnight, like literally overnight. Someone corrected me once in life and said, I should never say the word literally, because it's not usually literally something.

I said, I literally died. Remember he was like, no, you didn't. Stop using that word. But I can say it here. They literally changed overnight. Something happened one night, and they were like, okay, we have got to change. So their story is incredible. And if you're looking for a change in your job, then I've got some great news.

Radio Talk Show host and career expert Ken Coleman is on to talk about the best ways for you to land a job that you love. But before we jump into all of that, let's just say it out loud again. Change is hard. And probably the biggest change of my life is, when I had my first child. If I talked to some couples, they say that marriage was like really hard, but having kids was easy, or you talk to some people like, oh no, marriage was really easy, kids was hard.

For Winston and I, marriage was really easy. We got married, we had five years of marriage together before we had Amelia, and it was so much fun. I mean, yes, we had our bumps in the road and our fights and all that, but like, overall, like, we had so much fun. We just clicked off the bat, Winston and I, and it just, it was a great five years.

So I'm pregnant, five years later, and I will never forget this moment. I was decorating our Christmas tree. I was having a million April, so I was like five months pregnant. And I'm sitting there decorating the Christmas tree, and I just start crying. Blame it on the hormones, whatever you want. But I was so sad. I was so sad. And when someone was like, hey, what's wrong? And I was like, I just realized that this is the last Christmas that we're going to have together. Like, just you and me. Like this baby's coming in four months. And I was like, and I just realize that this is like, like, it just makes me really sad that it's not going to be us anymore.

And I go on this whole tangent. And he's like, okay, it's going to be okay, Rachel, it's going to be okay. Because truly what I was feeling in that moment was like, man, is this change going to be worth it? Like, everyone says having a kid is so wonderful and so great, and they wouldn't change it for anything. But were they lying to me? Like all these years, is that true? And that's what I was feeling like, like this change. it's going to be so hard.

And is it really going to be that great? And what's so funny is, fast forward to April 10th and about 2.32 in the morning when I met and saw Amelia Jane Cruz for the first time, all of those fears, all of those thoughts, it's amazing. It just disappeared. And it's like, I look at her now and I'm like,

if I knew it was her that I was pregnant with, I'm like, I probably would have had her like a few years sooner, honestly. But the truth is, it's change. It can be scary. It can be hard. But if the change is for the better, you guys, it is worth it. But it is up to you. You have to realize this. Now, people change at different paces. Some of you, you change quickly. You're just like overnight. You figure out something. So you read a keto diet on the internet. You're like, oh, I want to be keto. And you're just keto for the rest of your life. I'm like, some people, they can just change quickly. Some people,

it takes some time. You have to internalize it. You have to research it. Maybe you change a little bit. next day to the next. It's a progress. But whichever type you are, if you don't like where you are right now with your money specifically, because that's what the Richard Cruz shows all about, is your life and your money, then you're going to have to do something different. You're going to have to change. So if you want to see change in your life, if you want to see change in your bank account, in your career, in your relationships, you're going to have to do some work. And it can be really hard. Again, change is hard. It is not comfortable. The sad thing is only April. of people who set New Year's resolutions actually succeed, 8%. So we all see that sticking to a

goal, it can be hard, but what you have to realize is you have to set yourself up for a quick win. If you want to change your money situation, we always tell people to start with baby step one. We have seven baby steps. If you're unfamiliar with them, click the link and the show notes. But the very first one is a $1,000 emergency fund. The very first thing I want you to do. Now, this is going to be the easiest step, but it's going to be the hardest step. It's the easiest step because it's just $1,000. Like, you can do this, okay? You can sell some stuff, you can cut things out of your budget, you can not go out to eat them, and you can do some things to get $1,000 quickly. And that's what I want you to do. You get it fast. But it's the hardest

step, because you're saying that you're going to engage in a process that you've never done before, and it can be scary, and it can be intimidating, and you're going to change the way that you view money. But once you take that step and you get that quick win, the motivation starts coming. So after Baby Step 1, you move on to Baby Step 2, which is paying off all of your debt using the debt snowball. Now, this is the most effective way to pay off debt. And some of you are in Baby Step 2, you're paying off debt now. Some of you have done this. And so it's so fun to talk to people in the process. And so this family coming up, they are completely free from debt. Their story is incredible. From where they started to where they are now is where I want you all

to be. And some of you actually may be familiar with her. She is debt kicking. mom on Instagram and YouTube, and she's incredible. She and her husband decided to change everything with their money literally overnight, so I can't wait for you to hear their story. I just remember being just in shock. I could not sleep. I was so stressed. I felt like my hands were tired. I couldn't do what we wanted to do. You just don't realize how quickly it all can just kind of pile on top of itself. We struggled a lot with keeping up with the Joneses, and we just bought whatever we wanted when we wanted. I had been really taking charge of the finances. He worked. I was a stay-at-home mom. I was pretty passive when it comes to this stuff. He really didn't even understand the trouble that we

were in. The moment when we decided that we had to do something was during that vacation that we took right around Christmas time. It was a terrible vacation. It was to buy a time share, yeah. But we did it to get a deal. Right after the time sales pitch, I got a text notification from my bank telling me that we had maxed out our last credit card. That was definitely my sick and tired moment. It was that night that I sat with the hotel notepad and wrote down and listed out all of our debts. And that was the first time that I realized

exactly how much debt that we had and the next morning I had to tell him. I really didn't know at first that we were in that much debt, so it was kind of shocking to me. And in that moment, I decided I shouldn't be passive anymore. And I told my parents about it. That was a hard phone call.

They had been financial peace university coordinators, and they bought it first that day. I didn't have accountability when I was handling the finances on my own. Now in our marriage, it's more about like, well, we're in this together. We talk to each other more, and we have a lot of dream meetings now. Yeah. We talk about where we want to be in five, ten years. And it's just amazing to just dream. I think there's so much hope between us, and we talk more about our future.

We're so much more closer now. All right, you guys, thanks so much for being here. Thank you for having us. Yeah, thank you. Sharing your story, this is so fun. So you guys are kind of toward the end of your debt-free journey. It was why you're here in Nashville. But take me back years before that.

What did you guys look like before you started this journey? Yeah, we were definitely the average family who was living paycheck to paycheck. And I was a stay-at-home mom, and taking care of them was, you know, a big job. And I was also in charge of the finances. And he went to work and made the money. and then I stayed home and tried to run the household. And truthfully, I just didn't really know what I was doing. Nobody really teaches you how to do that.

So you were feeling the stress. Were you feeling it, Johnny? Did you feel it? Not first. I knew someone was up, but I didn't know exactly how much debt we were in. Okay. So take me to that point on vacation. Yes.

It was a low, low moment. I was up pretty much for most of the night. And I told him the next morning, I told him about the fact that we had maxed out a credit card and I had to open up a new one, and when we get home, we need to talk. What's the feeling before you're having to have this conversation? What did that conversation look like? Yeah.

I had felt completely, like, I felt dishonest, and I knew that I needed to have a sit-down-style conversation. You had always let me do the budget on my own and never really ask questions about it. And truthfully, like, that's why, like, I was ashamed to even tell him that I wasn't handling it the right way. Which, in a sense, you know, you, there is. this natural pool for couples to say, okay, well, you're good at this. So just do it. Like, that's like kind of your gifting. So I'm over there. You got it. No big deal. Like, that's a very normal way. But sometimes the person that has the responsibility put on them,

male or female, there's almost the sense of like abandonment or the sense of like a loneliness almost, of that you're in this space by yourself. Okay, guys, I'm going to interrupt here. Their story is so great. Like I said earlier, because there before was so normal. And like I just said, if you are in a marriage, one of you is going to have strengths around this subject of money and one of you probably is going to be a little weaker when it comes to this money stuff. And that's very, very normal. It's very, very natural. So while it is important to play to each other's strengths and weaknesses, you both have to be involved. And I just wanted to reiterate that and stress the importance of having someone else with you on this journey. So if you are

married and your spouse is not on board, a couple of things you can do. Number one, tell them your why. Why do you want to do this? Why do you want to budget? Why do you want to get out of debt? Is it because you're losing sleep at night? You're stressed? You heard her? She was like, I was stressed out, and he had no idea. So maybe your spouse doesn't even know you're stressed and you want to lower that. Maybe it's that you truly have this, maybe this fear that you're not going to retire. You're like, we're putting no money away. I need to know that we're saving money. Maybe it's that you don't have an emergency fund. Like, whatever your why is, it can be something like that.

It can be bigger because you want your kids to have a better life than you did. Whatever your why is, share that with your spouse. And then also show them progress. This is great ladies out there. If your husbands are not involved, a lot of guys like to see progress. So even write out all of your debts and go ahead and do the math and say, hey, if we throw X amount at our debts from month to month, we can be out of debt in 17 months or whatever it ends up. being, go ahead and show them the outcome and the plan. And sometimes that helps them get on board where they actually can tactically see what's happening. And then last but not least, if you and your

spouse still are not on the same page, I would say there's going to be some deeper marriage issues there, the fact that you guys can't work together as a team. If you can't work together as a team when it comes to your money, there's probably other areas of your marriage. You're not working together. So I always say bring in a third party. Do not be ashamed to talk to someone. This can be maybe a couple that's older than you guys in a different season, you can ask their advice. Maybe it's marriage counseling. Like, I don't care what it is. But bring someone else in, because not only could they have some great advice and direction,

they may be able to bring this other perspective that neither of you are thinking about. So don't do it alone. Now, if you're not married out there, find someone in your life that you can have a conversation with when it comes to your money, that you're not embarrassed, that you can show them everything. Because having a second brain involved in this process is so, important because if it's you by yourself, whether you're single, whether you're divorced, whatever the situation is, and you are in charge of it and it's just you, you have so much responsibility in life. Like, you're the one that's having to buy the groceries. You're the one

that's having to get the oil changed in the car and keep up with remembering when to do that. Like, you have so much on your plate. And so have someone else involved to help you along the way. You guys, do not do this journey alone. I cannot stress it enough. Have some someone there to walk with you because it will help you, not just with the motivation, but also sometimes the big and small decisions, having that other person talk to is so crucial. Talk me through now, what did it look like? What changed within your marriage when you guys started communicating, actually talking about money? Yeah. We're on the same page where, you know, I'm learning how she thinks, and then she's learning how I think. And what I want to do and what she

wants to do is more, it's another way of engaging with my wife. Yeah. So we have a regular meetings about what's going on with the budget. And we have date nights where we have dream meetings where we're going to be in about five years, ten years. So there's a lot of guys out there because your dynamic is very normal where a lot of the times it is the woman we see that's taking, you know, control of the money and all that, even surveying my audience. 83% of women said that they do the budget alone. What would you say to a, to a husband out there who just thinks, well, my wife has it taken care of? God calls us to pursue our wives. So you got to take the journey with her.

You got to do it. Yes, so good. So you guys have been on this journey. How long did it take you to pay off this debt? It took us three years. Exactly three years. For 7,000. Mostly on one income.

Yeah. Which is just, that's incredible, you all. I mean, seriously. So someone's sitting out there that has maybe $60,000 or whatever the amount is, what were things that you guys did along the way that really, really helped? Accelerated or just kept that marathon going? So I realized that. as a stay-at-home mom and being in charge of, like, you know, the grocery shopping and the

activities that I did with the kids and stuff like that, I really did have kind of a lot of control in cutting expenses. We might not be able to raise our income to kind of figure out this difference that we're having, but if we can cut our expenses, we can have a debt snowball because at first, it was really hard to imagine how we were going to be able to create that debt snowball. We cut all the things that you're thinking off the top of your head, you know? But then it was even further, it was like, you know, how can we save money on kids' clothes? How can we, you know, save money on birthdays? And it was like everything that came up that's an expense. It was not an excuse to spend money. It was motivation to figure out how can I do this with low expenses. You know, keeping our expenses low. And, yeah. We got creative, too, with a lot of, like, family outings. If we wanted to do something fun as a family, we'd find something free. Yeah. We had to.

I feel like when the focus became less about like distractions, like what can we do to distract the kids or keep them occupied? It was more like, what can we do to just spend time together as a family? And that costs no money. And so it definitely brought us all closer. Well, you guys are absolutely remarkable and inspiring the fact that you're doing this with four kids and you've done it. I mean, you've paid off the debt. So thanks for sharing your story. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Rachel. Guys, aren't they just amazing? I love their story. I love their vulnerability in talking about their failures because that's what's important is no one is perfect in this process. And the fact that they're willing to share their story and be open was, I was so thankful. It was such a gift. Now, one thing they did that we talked about more off camera was they went through Financial Peace University.

And this is our nine-week course that walks you through everything that you need to know when it comes to your money. And I'm talking about everything, from budgeting to getting out of debt, to saving, to insurance, to real estate. I mean, it dives in to all of the nitty-gritty. And what's great is you are part of a group. You get put into a community of people who are on this journey with you. I cannot stress it enough. If you have not gone through Financial Peace University, you need to click the link in the show notes and check it out. All right.

Next, I want to talk to you about your career. Now, this is something that a lot of people want to change or they're just not happy with. but they don't know where to get started. So whether you're looking for a new job or you're wanting to improve the job situation that you're in, Ken Coleman is coming up next to give us some great tips and encouragement. Right, Ken, thanks for being here. It's so good to be here.

You're back. Okay, I'm really pumped for you because your new book, The Proximity Principle, is out today. Yes. Which is so crazy. Okay, so tell everyone about it because this whole idea and the subject of this book I just love so much. Well, we all know that we long to do something

that we really enjoy, work that we love, but there's a lot of fear and doubt. And this principle, timeless through the ages, that men and women throughout all of history have used to be successful, and that is, if I'm around the right people and I'm in the right places, then opportunity will come to me. Not this impossible journey to find a break. No, if I'm around the right people and in the right places, then I'm getting a chance to learn, I'm getting a chance to do and connect. So it's a fun and very practical manual so that no longer are you worried about what my next steps are. Yes, I love that because there's a lot of people watching that they work. They're full time.

They may be in a job that they're like, man, I'm in it for 12 more months so we can get out of debt or maybe I feel stuck here, but I want to move. I want to do something different. I want to wake up and feel like I have purpose and meaning with the job I'm going to. Because how many hours does someone work in their lifetime? 90,000 plus hours is what the average American spends in the job over the job. over their work life, which is crazy. If you think about that. Yeah. So putting into practice, you know, that idea of taking those hours and actually doing something that you love with it. And then the whole idea, I love this because at the end of the day, people are what bring you along.

So do you find that that's true? That's absolutely true. We know now that the average college grad is coming out of school and they're overqualified because of the degree. And we think, well, go to school junior, go to school, Susie. And when you come out with a degree, life is just going to present itself and it's not true. And so the act of getting around people that are doing what I want to do are in places where it is happening gives me confirmation. Okay, so can give me an example of someone that's using the proximity principle really well? Yeah, I'll tell you about a lady that called in the show just the other day. And she had a good sense that she wanted to use her top talents of creativity, and she was a planner by nature. And so I began to ask her questions, and she had interest in both interior decorating and event planning. So she wasn't quite sure.

and she's getting locked up. Fear, doubt. How do I confirm? I told her, hey, I want you to find somebody through a friend of a friend of a friend, whatever, who is actually running an interior design business. So take that lady or a person, whoever it is, to coffee, tea, lunch, and show up ready to learn. Now, that's a person. The other place that I told her she needs to get to is, hey, go start hanging out at local event planner meetings or conventions, whatever. Go to some of these things. Go online. Proximity can happen to. on YouTube and on a blog. Who are some successful event planners, whether again, locally online, get where that is happening. In getting information, you're going to get clarity. Clarity leads

to confidence. Oh, this is more of what I want to do. I want to go over here with event planning. I don't want to do interior decorating. And so all of a sudden, you have confidence, but you've made a connection. And that person is going to say, hey, let me tell you a couple other people you need to know and be around. That's how you use the proximity principle that leads to you. you down the path. And before you know it, opportunity finds you, and you're doing work that you love. Yes. And it's amazing how many times we've done like a TV show or something. And I'm talking to even just an intern and they're running coffee. Like, what do you want to do? Like, I want to be an anchor. And like, I'm just, I'm sick in here. Great example. They're in the right place. And by being in

the place where what I want to do is happening broadcasting, now they're meeting producers. They're meeting anchors. And it's crazy because I'm like, you come back five years later and they've moved up to be maybe a producer, and then a lot of the anchors you hear were produced. You know, like, you just see it. I'm like, gosh, that's so smart versus going to school and then be like, well, I guess I just didn't get that great first job, so I'm going to have to go do something else. So my last question is, is this a reality, this idea? If you are, you know, maybe 40 years old, you have two kids, you're working a different career, but you've always wanted to be in ex-care. Is this still possible for someone? It's absolutely possible. What you think is

this unbelievable hit the rewind button and go this crazy journey backwards is not the case. For me, I was 32 years old, so I'm not just writing about this. I did this. And I started with a broadcasting class six weeks with a bunch of young guys who all thought I was an instructor for the first three weeks and called me, sir. You're so old. That's exactly right. Mr. Coleman. That's right. Well, at 32 to a 20-year-old, you know, you are. But here's the deal. That's the beginning for me because I learned the fundamentals and I was able to learn, do, and connect. and that very first broadcasting school led to so many opportunities for me. Now, it took me seven years.

So I'm not selling microwaves, Rachel. I'm selling crockpots. But if you practice the proximity principle, opportunity will find you and you can get where you want to be. That's so great, Ken. Okay, guys, the proximity principle, make sure to check it out by Ken Coleman. Get at Ken Coleman.com, wherever books are sold, and people can find you where else.

Well, Ken Coleman show on Instagram, Ken Coleman's show Facebook, and we have a YouTube channel as well. So great places to connect with us. And we have a lot of free resources beyond the book at Ken Coleman.com. And podcasts. Yes. Of course, we do podcast the show. It's a daily radio show, Sirius XM.

Thank you. There you go. And so we have that. And that's every day on Channel 121. And we lead into the Dave Ramsey show, as a matter of fact. And then we podcast that show daily. So thanks for having it. Everywhere, Ken.

I love it. Guys, go check it out. It's a great book. I'm so glad Ken came on and shared his great advice. So, so good. Now, if you want to start reading the proximity principle, the first chapter for free, make sure to click the link in the show notes.

Thanks again to Angela and Johnny for coming on and sharing their story and Ken for his advice. And make sure that you guys check out the Rachel Cruz Show video version. It's on YouTube and it's on Facebook. And of course, here on the podcast, if the Spirit leads, you can leave her review.

And if you've not hit that subscribe button, make sure you do that so that these episodes automatically come into your phone or wherever you listen to podcasts, It's there. It's convenience. Let's be honest. We love convenience, right? Now, I want you guys to remember to embrace change. Change can be a really good thing to get the outcome in life that you want. So do not be afraid to make a change. And remember, to take control of your money and create a life you love. So if you guys enjoyed this podcast, we have more from the Ramsey Network for you to check out

like Christy Wright's Business Boutique Podcast. Hey, I'm Christy Wright. And I help women all over the take their ideas and passions and hobbies and turn them into profitable businesses. If you have an idea in your head or a dream in your heart and you've ever wondered if you could make money doing it, I'm here to help. Join us on the Business Boutique podcast where we are equipping women to make money doing what they love. To hear full episodes, just search Business Boutique or wherever you listen to podcasts or go to businessboutique.com.