The Rachel Cruze Show - “What I Wish I Knew Before Paying Off Debt” (With Jade Warshaw)

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

📘 Grab your copy of What No One Tells You About Money!   I sat down with my friend Jade Warshaw to talk about the highs, lows and real emotions behind her debt-free journey—and her brand-new book, What No One Tells You About Money. Next Steps: 🎥 Watch my video Become Financially Literate in 8 Minutes. 📈Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan.  💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! Connect With Our Sponsors:   Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! Turn to Minno for kids shows you can trust. Use code RACHEL for $10 off an annual plan with a seven-day free trial.    Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show  💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we have personal finance experts and my good friend joining us back, Jade Warshaw. So Jade's new book, What No One Tells You About Money, is out January 6. It's on pre-order now, and you guys, she has an amazing story, and this book is such an incredible gift. So I can't wait for you guys to hear this conversation that I had with Jade around this book and just the ideas around all the emotions and money because it is so, so important. So here it does. Well, Jay, thanks so much for being on again. Absolutely.

It's always so fun to talk to you. When we talk about money, because we do stuff together a lot, whether it's hosting the show or events, you know, the tactical side of money, people want to know. They want to know about like how to invest and how to budget and all that's really important. But something that I feel like we touch on, even as Ramsey, but now I feel like you even more specifically now, talk about the emotions behind money. It's not just numbers. It is the emotion. So like for you, when did that, when did you realize that? Because I think it's a big part of handling money that people don't talk about. It is a big part. You know, you get the plan. And then, you know, Dave's famous words are the change. Right? That's right. And you're changing what you're doing. Yeah. And you want to do that because you're seeing this wonderful plan laid out. It's so logical. And you go, yeah, of course, a thousand dollars saved. That makes sense. You know, pay off my debt smallest start. It makes sense logically. And then when you get to working it, you realize, oh, there's a lot more to this that I did not account for. Yes. And so when Sam and I were in the middle of paying off our debt, you know, almost half a million dollars, I realized I was coming against these barriers and it wasn't numbers related. It was about the way I was feeling. about actually working the plan. Yes, 100%. You know, when you start, the truth is it's tough. When somebody says, hey, stop getting your nails done.

We feel that. When somebody says, hey, stop going out to eat. Maybe you're used to doing a Sunday family dinner every second, right? Yeah. We feel that in our emotions. If somebody says something simple, something as simple as don't spend your money on the things that you'd like to spend your money on when you've been working hard to be able to have a certain lifestyle, we feel that.

Yes. And we have to combat the urge that. says, wait a second, I deserve this. I've been working hard. I deserve to spend money what I want to spend it on. Yeah. You're telling me I can't spend it on this. I need to spend it on my smallest debt. There is a motion associated with that and it takes time to be able to kind of sideline that and actually get to the thing that we're supposed to be doing. Yeah, 100%. Because we're not robots. We're not going to just like push through and just like type in the code and everything's fine. Right. We are people handling and we're going to have different motions. So for you, you mentioned you and

Sam. You guys paid off. Yeah, it was it $460,000? Yeah. That's right. Wait, for you, what were like some of the high points, emotions during that process, and then what were times that you were like, oh, yeah, no, that was hard. I mean, obviously the highest point was when you're at the end. You're at the finish line paying it off. But throughout that, yeah, I experienced a lot of frustration because the truth is when you're working a plan like the Ramsey plan, there is a lot of nuance and there's a lot of detail.

And there's generally a time horizon of, you know, two to three years, depending on who you are for us with seven and a half years. And so throughout that time, it's like, wait a second, I've paid off. the debt, what am I supposed to do now? Or what does the plan say about changing your withholding and you're forgetting things? And because of that, you start doing things incorrectly. And that costs you time. And so I experienced some frustration on that end. You know, trying to listen to the show to figure out, what did Dave say about the insurance? You know, now it's different because we have the new every dollar. But back then it was frustrating. You know, then there's like the shame around

past mistakes that you've made and trusting yourself again to be able to make the right decisions. And then there's the anger of sometimes it's like John Deloney would say. It's not by my hand, but it's in my lap. And I'm having to deal with this financial thing that I didn't cause. But it's here. It's my reality. Yeah. You know, for some of us, student loans, my parents took out these loans. They said it was okay. And now I'm the one having to pay it back. That's unfair. Right. So there's the anger. And there's just so much that we face. But I feel like if you can get to a point of acceptance, then you can start to win.

Yes, I love that. And I think, you know, for you, the story that you guys, walked through. It's so real. It's so honest. And I love that you kind of put a lot of that together in your new book, which I'm so excited about what no one tells you about money. And currently right now, it's on pre-sale, but it's about to be out. It's so exciting because I think when people have the ability to hear people's stories, which you've done such a great job. The team was even talking about that we laughed, we cried, you know, but you do a great job storytelling throughout it. So tell me, number one, why did you want to write this? And the story element is, you know, we're going to so unique, which I love. What caused you to go down that path? Yeah, well, my favorite books are

story-driven, and so I saw the opportunity there. A lot of times self-help books can be very repetitive, they can be boring, and I did not want to write that, Rachel. So writing this through the lens of Sam and I's story, you're going to hear the story from beginning to end, and there's things in this book that I've never said out loud, which is one of the reasons it's called what no one tells you about money, because it is completely raw and real. You will laugh in this book. the first story is absolutely ridiculous. And then there are stories in it that will make you probably cry. I cried writing it.

And so it was very therapeutic. But I wrote the book because I know the way it feels when it's almost like there's an incongruency between what you want to do and what you're actually doing. And that can wear you down because it's like, I want to get debt free so bad. I want to take control of my money so bad. What is the problem? It's like Taylor Swift. Is it me?

Yeah, yeah. Right, right. And when you figure that out, it's like, okay, what do I do with this? How do I, what is this called? Do you want to have some sort of vocabulary around what you're experiencing? Yes. And you want the tools to fix it, and this is going to give you both. You know, that's so smart because I feel like even other books I've read or even like some therapy, whatever it is, when people can give you a language.

Yes. And that's what resonates with people. Like you say something and it's like, that's it. That's exactly how I'm feeling. I don't know why, and you're kind of caught in your own brain at times where you're like, I can't even get out of my own mind. But to hear someone or read something that someone else is saying and it's putting words to it, I think is so powerful.

And you talk through, again, the emotional side of money, I think, is obviously a big promise of this book, but there's six specific emotions. Yes. You walk through. What are those? So we're talking about frustration. A lot of times that's what you're doing and how does it align with the plan you said you would do.

And chances are there's some places where that's. doesn't line up. Because life happens. Yes. And it's like things, yeah, it's not going to go perfect. Yeah. So I'll hope you close that gap. Um, fear is a big one. Right. It's, we're doing all the sacrifice, but we don't know if it's going to be worth it on the other side. So there's a big fear there. A lot of us have never seen someone who's debt free. We've never known a millionaire. No one in our family has ever paid for college and cash. So there's this fear of will this actually work? And is it going to be worth the sacrifice? What's it going to feel like to sacrifice at this level? We don't There's a lot of unknown.

Where there's unknown. There's always fear, right? Yes. The next one's anger. Like I said before, there's a lot that we didn't cause, but we're sitting here dealing with it, whether it's external factors like the government or what our parents did or how we were brought up or the neighborhood were in, social demographics, all of that. We experienced that and that causes a lot of anger financially.

Yes. After that, guilt and shame, right? Yep. How many of us have done things that not only affect us, but affect the people around us. It plays out with our spouses. it plays out with our children. And that's hard to carry and it's hard to find forgiveness and it's hard to get through that. And so that's a big one.

And then pity. So pity, Rachel. When you're looking at yourself and then you're looking at seemingly the lifestyle that everybody else has, it's woe is me. I can't believe this happening to me. And it can be so difficult to get out of that. But I teach people that if they can focus on generosity, you can't be pitiful and generous at the same time. It's almost impossible. Yes.

So walking through that. and then hopefully getting to the point of acceptance. It's like I liken it to running a marathon. My husband and I ran a marathon last year at this time of year, and I'd put it off for almost a decade. It was something I wanted to do, never did it. A full marathon, yes. God bless you.

But part of that is understanding, okay, I'm going to have to go through this training. It's going to get progressively difficult. It's every day. There's no days off. And there comes a point where you go, if I can just accept this, I can do it. But if I keep fighting the process and getting hung up in my emotions, I'll never do it. Yes.

And I truly learned that lesson. And paying off debt, getting on a plan with money, changing your financial future, it's the exact same way. It's the exact same process. Yeah, that makes so much sense, too. My husband, we talked about this recently about a situation that came up. And he was like, I almost like attach my emotions to the thing that's not happening. And I want this to happen. And the fact that it's not happening, probably the self-pity, right?

All of this. And I'm like, yeah, to be present and to just accept the reality that's in front of you. Make that your new norm. Yes, today. But it's so easy to do that, right? Whether it's money or other things where you do, you can like see something out there, attach your emotions to that when that's not your reality. And that does no good for anyone, right?

You sit there in a cycle and you're like, oh my gosh, like how can I, why am I still in this? But that acceptance, that last one, that's good. That's so smart. So smart. Teaching your kids that Christmas means more than just gifts. That can be a little complicated. That's why I'm so excited to tell you about Minnow's Laugh and Grow Bible for Kids Christmas special,

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and you can join any time, not just during open enrollment. So go to chmistries.org slash budget to learn more. That's chministries.org slash budget. Here's the rest of my conversation with Jay. There's a part of it where I'm talking about this idea that we're, we almost think that life is supposed to be fair or that we're in competition with other people. Yeah. And that is such a driver in our emotions. It's like, well, it seems like it was so much easier for Bob and Sally did it so fast. And it's like, hey, this is not a competition. In competitions, the playing field is level. Yeah. You know, there's pieces that are put into place to say it's a start for everyone that, yes, and that's not the reality. And the terrain is the same, but life's not

like that. Everybody's starting place is different. Totally. Some people start further ahead. Some people start with less. Yeah. But your finish line remains the same regardless of you want to cross it or not. Yes. It's still there waiting for you. Totally. Do you feel like that's a controversial way of looking at life? Definitely. Like, do you think that you're, like, against something that you're like, because you believe it? Because you've lived it.

I mean, you're like, this is it. This is the reality. Yeah. And so what do you do with that? Like, what do you say to someone that is maybe started further bright? Because, I mean, I think about myself, honestly, Jade. And I'm like, my parents made the mistakes that we didn't have to make. And because of that, and part of changing your family tree and all that we do at Ramsey,

like, I'm kind of that second gen that did get a leg up, right? Yeah. So what would you say to people like me? that may feel like, oh my gosh, I feel bad. Like, oh, God. You know, like, it can stir something. And then what would you say to the person that may be starting further behind the starting line, even, because of life and whether it's family or whatnot? Like, what are, what's, like, encouragement to both, regardless of where you're starting?

I think that's a really good point. I'd say the same thing. I'd say that no matter who you are, if there's something that you're trying to obtain, because you have goals too. Yeah, totally. The person who's, quote, further ahead has goals just like the person who's, quote, further. behind, right? And so I would say for both people, hard work is hard. And that's the great equalizer, right? The fact that if you're going to set out to do something, you're going to have to embrace some form of endurance, no matter what it is. Yep, yeah. And if you can embrace endurance,

which is really just the ability to stick into something for a long time, even though it's difficult, even though it's tough, if you can embrace that, you will win. And when you do that, you do gain maturity over time, right? Perseverance produces, maturity. That's what the Bible tells us. And so it's the same for everybody. It's just, what is it in that season of life for you? For some people, it might be, they're saving for their dream home because they're at that stage. For another person, it could be, I'm saving $1,000 for the very first time. That's right. But both of those people are going to have to embrace, this is going to take a while. It doesn't happen overnight. It's not tomorrow, right?

Anything that's worth doing is going to be worth the sacrifice of actually obtaining it. And so that's, That's the great equalizer. Yes. And that suffering knows no bounds. Right. Like regardless of where you're starting. And so whether it's suffering in life or loss of a relationship or marriage, I mean, job, like put life in it and it's going to happen.

But if there's a part of your life that you can somewhat get behind, which is why I love you wrote this book, is like, that you can know yourself during it. You can know what's going on within you, those emotions and what's happening and actually have this like longevity through this journey because it's a long journey like what you're saying so i love that that's so good so good okay so what did sam think about this i'm so curious because you guys were like paired so closely in this journey and i know he's in like obviously a lot of the stories and stuff sam was reading every word so like after every chapter he'd be like i want to read it i want to read it and so of course for him i think that it feels just as much like his book as it feels like my book

Because like I said, it's so story-driven. And I had to ask him permission several times of, can I share this? Because we were so intertwined. I mean, anybody who's ever tried to accomplish a goal with their spouse, you know, you have to be on the same page. You have to. There's just like that intimacy that takes place. And so certain of the emotions hit harder for him.

And I was like, can I share this story? And he's, yes. So, and then some of the emotions hit harder for me. And I had to dig deep and share stories about myself. So he, you know, he's a great supporter. So he's in many ways he's probably more excited than I am because he's just like, he's my number one fan. So good. Oh, so great.

Well, Jay, thanks so much for coming on and talking about this. I think it's such an important part of money that, yeah, it's so crucial. I think to the whole journey as people to be a whole person through it all. So appreciate it. Okay, where can everyone find you, get the book, all the things. Yeah, so go to Ramsey Solutions.com. If you want to order the book, the pre-order is until January 6th. So make sure to do that.

And if you do pre-order, you get tons of bonus items. Rachel, one of the things I'm doing is a three-week book club where we're going through some of the key areas in this book, you really help you get and overcome it. So I'm excited about that. And we do a financial checkup and I'll walk you through it point by point to really help you get on track with your money and work through the emotions in that process. So good, Jade. Oh, amazing. Yep.

You guys make sure to check out everything and can't wait. I'm excited. If you guys run, don't walk and pre-order Jade's new book, what no one tells you about money at ramsaysolutions.com. And if you order the book before January 6th, then you will get over a hundred dollars worth of free bonus items. Make sure that you do this because it's really easy to get all these extras. And I'll leave a link down below for you to pre-order the book today.

And for a quick hit of money education, check out my episode, The Masterclass on Financial Literacy, minutes you can click right here or if you're listening on podcast click the link below all right you guys remember to take control of your money and create a life you love