The Rachel Cruze Show - What the American Dream Is Costing You

Episode Date: April 27, 2020

Given the current state of our country, you might think the American dream is gone forever. I know so many people are just trying to get by and can't even focus on getting ahead. Even though I filmed this episode weeks before coronavirus hit, I think this message is more important now than ever.     In this episode of The Rachel Cruze Show, we’ll talk about:   How the American dream has changed over the years The hardest step to getting out of debt and how to overcome it Max Lucado’s simple secrets to a happy life   Sponsors pay the producer of this show, The Lampo Group, LLC, advertising fees for mentioning their services or products during programming. Advertising fees are not based upon or otherwise tied to any product sale or business transacted between any consumer or sponsor. The following sponsors have paid for the programming you are viewing:   — Zander Insurance     Resources (everything mentioned in this episode): Zander Insurance Start reading my Contentment Journal for free https://maxlucado.com/ Show Notes Page Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I constantly felt stress and overwhelmed with my finances. Living paycheck to paycheck was the norm. Society tells us that, you know, you have to buy stuff to make you happy. We have a job kind of be aware. We make the right decisions and not impulse by because that's what they're betting on. Author and Pastor Max Cicato. I can't control the weather. I can't control so much of life, but I can control how I treat people.

If you want to be happy, just give happiness to others. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Rachel Cruise Show podcast. So glad that you are here. Well, this episode is all about the American dream and thinking, is it still possible? Well, if you watch the news and you're thinking about the coronavirus 24-7, like many people are, you may think,

no, the American dream is not true. It's not alive. But I promise it is. This episode, I'm really excited for you to hear. But as recordings go, we recorded this before the coronavirus pandemic. It all began, all the craziness, you guys. I just still cannot believe the world we're living in,

but that's reality. So we had an option of like, okay, well, what do I do with this content? And I re-listen to the podcast. I'm like, but I still believe in this content. This content is still true. So I still wanted to give you this episode because I think it's a great one, and it's one hopefully that will bring you a little bit of levity, some thought and some guidance on the American dream, even if the coronavirus pandemic is still happening.

So just wanted to give you a little bit of context before we dive into this episode, but so excited for you to hear it. All right, society tells you what the American dream is, but today we are going to redefine what that looks like for you and your family. I'll talk to a couple who thought that they had to buy a bunch of stuff to make them happy, but they kept coming up short, and they'll show the steps of what they took to make their dream a reality. And I'm also going to talk to author and pastor Max Licato about finding lasting happiness, and he's fantastic. But first, let's talk about how the American dream has changed over the years. I mean, you guys, like what we consider necessities today, our parents considered luxuries in their day, or it may never have even existed.

So let's take a look at a few different things that is a reality now for us versus 30 years ago. In the 80s, the average size of a new house was 1,600 square feet. Today, it's 2,600 square feet. In the early 90s, 99% of households didn't even have internet. But now we feel like we can't go anywhere without it or our smartphones and all this other technology we can't live without. But it didn't used to be a necessity. We even think that we have to have a car that has a sunroof, automatic windows, heated seats, Bluetooth, like parking itself, all the things. But those are all luxuries. But unfortunately, we've turned them in to necessities. And people keep going into more and more debt for these things. For example, in the last 15 years, consumer debt has almost doubled. And people are

taking out 40% more on their homes because we are just trying to keep up with what society tells us that we deserve, like the standard of living that we should all have. But we already have more than what we think we have. I want you guys to check out this conversation I had with my dad, Dave Ramsey, on his show about this exact topic. There's nothing wrong with having a nicer house. There's nothing wrong with having a nicer car. There's nothing wrong with going on a nicer vacation, having a nicer phone or a nicer boat, or all those things I listed off. There's nothing. wrong with that. I'm not shaming anyone for having those. I am shaming a political agenda or an economic discussion on the macro that says you have a right to those things. And the current economic system

has robbed you of your right to have these things that are middle class when they're legitimately not middle class. Right, right. The middle class has doubled, tripled and quadrupled while the income has stayed in terms of its consumption of these items, and while their income has stayed relatively stagnant instead of living within their means. Yeah, that's right. And those that live within their means are no longer in the middle class. Because they're getting ahead. Yeah.

93% of the millionaires that we found were first generation rich. Yep. Did not become millionaires because of an inheritance, became millionaires because of their consumption patterns were within their means allowing them to invest. which takes to piggy back off of that a really mature person to sit there in the moment and say gosh we want to be able to go on the nice vacation

we want that we want this you know what I mean like we expect this and to be able to say no to yourself like I was going back to it doesn't feel right it feels wrong because it's like I it's not supposed to be like this I'm supposed to be looking like everyone else and when you don't

I'm supposed to hit a button and the door opens on the side of my van instead of God forbid we reaching up and grabbing the thing and opening it I mean, or wave your foot under the bumper so that the back hatch comes up. Your sister's car, right? Yes. Oh, my God.

I don't have that. I open my own car doors. God forbid we have to reach over and touch the automobile. Unbelievable. You know, and all of that's okay. Your sister can afford that car. You know, it's not a problem. But this thing that, like you say, it becomes normalized to where if I can't eat out every night at a restaurant, then it's unfair to me.

Right. I'm entitled to do that. Yep. And then the economic play or the political play on this, and people fall into this discussion without critical thinking skills, and they start saying, well, all of this debt comes from the fact that wages are stagnant. No, it doesn't. It comes from the fact that consumption is on an exponential curve when you graph it.

And so I think, too, realizing if you're one of these people to ask, or anyone really, to ask yourself that, okay, this is the expectation that the culture is set, but then the why? Like what's the motivation behind getting all of these things? And then it falls into the trap of contentment of thinking, well, all this stuff is going to make me happy. Because, you know, if I have the nice car, if I have this, that, my life's just going to be better.

And the thing is, is when you can't afford it, you create more pain on the back end, not just financially, but emotionally. And we see those families that come in. And it's like, man, the mess that they've created to keep up, that has not been worth it. You look three years later. It doesn't fulfill you.

clothes, the purse, the shoes, the house that were going to make me happy. And that's been told. The paradox is over and over and over again and it has made you miserable. Yep. It's stressed you out. It's put strain on your marriage. It's stolen your future. And the actual opposite of what you thought was going to happen has happened.

That's really good insight. That's a good point. That's powerful. And it does. The comparison is not just, we're such children that we have to keep up with the Joneses, but the comparison just normalizes it to where you say, gosh, I'm entitled. That's it. this is the standard of living I should have

because of my age, my season of life, where we're at, this is what it should be. And so whatever I have to do to get there. And so that's why, you know, even just talking about the credit card, we did a two series episode part on credit cards specifically, just the credit card debt in America.

And then this past episode is all about getting out. But it's so much, even just looking at the percentage of store credit cards that people sign up for, because again, in the vein of being normal and just thinking, oh, sure, why not? A store credit card. The items that you can purchase with a store credit card, zero percent fall into the heading of necessity. 100 percent fall into the heading of luxury. You know, like you need another pair of shoes. I mean, how many pairs? Shoes. I'm a guy that doesn't even like shoes and I've got shoes coming out my ear.

I know, but I guess shoes coming out my ears and I don't even make sense. I don't even like shoes. and I've got to wear, okay, I get another pair of shoes. That means I got to throw two pair away. I'm just not going to have a whole pie. And all this is, it's just consumption. It's just stuff. It wasn't like I had holes in my shoes. Right, right.

You know, I didn't. It's just consumption. It's just straight up. That's, you know, if I get that, I'm going to be happy then. Oh, and that is the lie. That's the deep, why behind it. That's a spiritual problem. Yes.

An emotional problem, and it's not fulfilled with the stuff. And that's the hard lesson that a lot of people have to. learn. Thanks for stopping in and joining in on the discussion. Yes, thanks for having me. Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author, Ramsey personality, and happens to be my daughter. Proud of you. Thanks for coming by. Thanks for having me on. Like I said, the one thing that has changed is our expectations. I was talking to a friend recently and her and her husband are following the baby steps and they're doing it all. They're out of debt and they have their fully funded emergency fund. And they're actually, you know, to the point that they're funding 15% of their income into

retirement and saving up for kids college and paying down their mortgage. But she was telling me, like, she was like, man, I kind of feel a little defeated because, like, I still feel like we just don't have a ton of money. Like, I just feel like, you know, we did all this sacrifice, but yet all this other stuff we're doing with our money, we're not able to go and take this huge nice vacation, or we're not able to do the things I really thought we were able to do because there just doesn't seem to be a lot of opportunity because our money is going to all these different places. And so I I thought it was a really interesting perspective because, as I was talking to her, I was telling her, like, you know, you realize that you are making decisions today in your life with your money

that are setting you up for the long term. That, yeah, in the present, you may not have that 15% in your pocket. It's going to retirement. But that means that you're going to have choices. Like the 55, 60-year-old version of you is going to love the 30-year-old version of you because you're making wise choices now. But what's so hard? as society tells us, no, you should be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and just, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you have the money. And it's so hard to break that cycle, you guys, it's so hard to say, you know what, I'm going to live a quote-unquote more responsible way with my money and I'm going to do things to set myself up well for the future.

So when you get to that point, don't be discouraged. The American dream, it is a live and well. I'm telling you, it may not feel like that all the time, but you are setting yourself up for success. Now, obviously, comparison living, it is a struggle. It really is. You're seeing what everyone else has, but you have to realize the road to comparison will always dead in with debt. And debt makes people look a whole lot better

than they actually are. So you may look around if other people are winning and you're not winning as much as they are, but in reality, when you look at the stats, yeah, you are winning a whole lot more than they are. You're just not saying their bank account. And so one thing that has helped to me with comparison living is just learning content.

looking at my own life and starting with gratitude. I mean, I started a gratitude list. I turned it into a journal, and this has been my lifeline. And so I actually made it all into this beautiful journal called the contentment journal because it is such a big deal, spending 30 days in gratitude, 30 days in humility, and 30 days in contentment. This really is the thing that sets your heart up for this journey and to say, okay, I'm going to lay this foundation emotionally where I am so that way I can make the sacrifice.

I need to, again, to win for the 55-year-old version of yourself. You guys can do this. You can. So for more information, click the link in the show notes to start reading for free. One of my favorite packages to ever show up at my door is my Tufton Needle mattress. I've got a couple now, and seriously, I love this mattress. You guys know exactly how it is. When you're juggling all the demands of mom, wife, work, friends, etc. Good sleep is a must, and I've never slept better.

Tufton Needle is the best rated mattress on Amazon with over 100,000 five-star reviews. Try it out. You can get a mattress starting as low as $3.99. Plus, it chips free. And you get to keep it for 100 nights risk-free. If I'm wrong, just send it back. Go to tn.com to get started. That's tn.com. All right, coming up next is Jeremy and Julie. And they are debt-free completely. But there was a time in their life and they kept buying stuff to fill a full of. avoid, so check out their story. I constantly felt stress and overwhelmed with my finances, pretty much holding my breath that my account wouldn't like overdraft. Living paycheck to paycheck was the norm. I was one catastrophe away from not be able to pay for something. Before we met, we both were previously married and we had a lot of debt, lawyers fees, credit

cards, like things like that, left over from our previous marriages that were still lingering. And we knew that we needed to make changes in our future so that we wouldn't have the same circumstance happen again. So we wanted to kind of have a clean slate and wipe all that previous debt away so that we could come together and start building our future as opposed to paying for things in our past. After Financial Peace University,

I was the first time that I really had a concept of how much debt I had. It was eye-opening to see how badly we were spending and going into debt because we thought we were happy. To me it was like we were self-medicating. Like, I need this to feel good right now in the moment, and now my closet's full of items I don't necessarily need or use. I've spent thousands of dollars on clothes and hair products and makeup,

and I'm like, I don't use any of those things, and all that is just wasted money. After we paid off our debt and we began working baby step three, we just felt more secure as a couple more trusts, our bond was stronger. freedom is the easiest word to explain it. You feel like we're working towards something that is going to build our future. It's undescribable. All right, Julie and Jeremy, you guys, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for having us. So fun. So you're in Nashville for something really fun. You just did your debt-free scream. So how was that? Absolutely undescribable, amazing. Surreal, liberating. So great.

Okay, so you guys paid off $60,000. in, what was it, like, right over a year, right? 13 months, yeah? 13 months. Oh, my gosh, so awesome. Okay, so take me back before you started this journey when you guys were living, like paycheck to paycheck, you're in debt, before financial abuse university,

before the total money makeover book, all of that. What was life like? I had zero financial awareness. I had no concept of how much I made and how much debt I had, and I was just completely oblivious to those things. And it always would cost stress because I had all my debt on auto pay. And I would just hope and pray every time I got a paycheck. Like I went to overdraft.

Like that was my way of going through life. Yes. What about you, Jeremy? What was it like for you? I was in a rebellious stage because I felt I wanted to do what I wanted to do and spend how I wanted to spend. And I wasn't paying attention to the details. And I was just being normal and paycheck to paycheck.

no emergency fund relying on credit cards. Yeah. So what was the debt? Like what did you spend money on when you were going into debt? And what was your motivation behind it? Pretty normal. Mine was just like eating out, going on trips, be bopping through life. Nothing.

Like we had credit cards, car payments, student loans. I mean, I really thought I was normal. Yeah, totally. And you were. I mean, to your credit, like that is. That's normal. Yeah, for sure. So you guys started the journey.

What was the hardest step that you had to take to begin getting out of debt? I just say no simply. Sometimes you can't go after dinner or go on that family trip or your friends call you last minute. Yeah, the last minute stuff is hard to say no to do. Yes, for sure. In context, though, we were just saying no in the short term just so we can win in the long term.

So just know for now, not know forever. So is the no in the short term worth it? Absolutely. It's undescribable. To me, it doesn't make sense. Why doesn't everyone do this? It's so hard for me to get now. But I was, before I was aware of this program and getting out of debt even existed, I was that person.

Yeah, for sure. So you guys, you would say we're pretty normal, quote unquote, Americans, right? As before this journey and spending money on stuff, because I feel like society tells us that, you know, you have to buy stuff to make you happy. and even marketing, advertisements, like all of that portray this image of, okay, this perfect life, if you just buy what we're selling? So what's your outlook now on stuff and even those advertisements when you see it?

I think that as marketers, they have a job to do to get your attention with all this digital media, and then we have a job as consumers and adults and leaders of the families to kind of be aware and make the right decisions and not impulse by, because that's what they're betting on is your impulsive.

But through our deathy journey, I just quit social media just to have that, altogether, just to have that focus, that singular focus of, because I knew that was a friction point for me. That's where they can get me. So let me just get off this for, and just kind of keep my eye on our goals. Yeah. I love that because I'm like, they're so smart now. So even like the targeted ads and stuff on your social media, you're like, oh, yeah, this is everything that I love.

Yeah. This is everything I love and I want to buy right now. And I feel like when you get to the end of your life, it's never like, oh, I wish I had more money. Usually it's like, oh, I wish I had more time, right? To be with people that I love and to actually like prioritize your life even just over stuff. And sadly, we are a culture that is like obsessed with stuff. And you guys are a redemptive part of that story. Thank you. I'm saying, you know what?

We're done and we're going to get out of debt. And you guys did it. You guys are amazing. Seriously. Thanks for stopping by. I know you just did the big debt free screen on the national show. We pulled you down here in the studio. But sharing your story, it helps so many people.

So thank you guys so much. Thanks, thank you for having us. Appreciate it. Really appreciate it. All right, coming up next, I'm bringing on author of Max Lakedo, and he is going to give us some great tips on living a truly happy life. Max Lekato. Thanks for being here.

Oh, absolutely. I'm honored. One of my favorite people, and I was telling you this before the interview, but even your kid's book, You Are Special, is like, I tell everyone about it. Well, thank you very much. It's one of my favorites, and I've written so many books, but I love that one. It's near and dear to this mother's heart, so I appreciate your words. Somebody I'll tell you the story behind that book.

Oh, yeah. I wrote it in half a day because I had a deadline I'd forgotten all about. Are you serious? I'm serious. I had promised a publisher, I guess I'll tell you the story of the book right now. Yeah, I want to know. I know. I'm curious.

No, I promised the publisher seven children's stories. Okay. And I thought I'd finished and they called me and they said, we're still waiting on number seven. And it's Thursday and it's due on Friday. No. And so I thought, oh, baby, and they were right. I had not written number seven. And so I had plans for Friday, but I canceled them and went into the office.

I had half a day, and I just sat in the chair and I said, I got kind of my political story. So you can't with the Wemnicks and every, I mean, you just like, you totally made it. Well, it all came together once I got started. And that became my best selling children's book. Still is. It's all over the world in multiple languages. Wow. Wow.

And I like that, I kind of like that story because people sometimes say, you know, is it best to work when you're inspired or when you're on obligation. I say either one of them work. You know, I mean, sometimes it's inspiration. Sometimes it's perspiration, but you both of them work to get a job done. So good. And God can use either one. Yes.

Oh, wow, wonderful. Well, this episode specifically, we're talking about the American Dream. Okay. And so I'm curious from you. You talk a lot about happiness. That's what your new book's about. But do you think that happiness has changed over the past even just 30 years when you look at American culture? I think the illusion of happiness has. I think that what we're

dealing with now, that's one of the characteristics of our unique day and age, is this proliferation of advertisement, this subliminal messaging that comes at us from all angles. And 60 years ago, it was the television generation. 30 years ago, it was the internet generation. Today, it's a social media generation, plus the other two, right? And so just the increased number of messages that come our way telling us we will be happy when has increased. And I'm still trying to figure out how do we explain just the despair in the culture today. One out of three Americans say they're happy. That's it. Only one out of three. Depression is. is drawing close to heart disease as the number two,

as the most prevalent illness in the world in America. And then the increase in suicide is just the pandemic that we don't all wanna talk about. And so trying to get our hands and heads around this is a very valid topic. Yeah, so this whole message of happiness, it's been obviously on your heart, you wrote a book about it, but what have you found?

Like when you've dug into just like the marketing side and the comparison side, what are you, you've seen in our culture today? Well, you talk a lot about comparisons in your book. And the bottom line for me on comparison, number one, comparison is, because of social media, it's comparison on steroids. I mean, it's just gone wacko.

It's just gone wacko. But comparison always results in either superiority or inferiority, feelings of, I'm better or I'm worse. Neither one of those is healthy. Yeah. And so learning to manage that comparison trap is a huge deal in this day and age. Yeah, absolutely. So when you dig through scripture specifically, what do you find, it says about happiness?

Like, what's the guide? What's the path? Well, the counterintuitive message of scripture is when Jesus said it's really better to give than receive. And so what I think you're saying there, among other things, is if you want to be happy, just give happiness to others. And you can be guaranteed. You can be guaranteed. I've doubled all their people this for about two or three years. You could take a day, make it your day to make other people happy. Just do it. Just see what in the world happens. Put it to the test. You know, see what happens. Set loose, you know, go and serve people, encourage people, call people up for no other reason

except to tell them they're great folks, maybe forgive some people, you know, just kind of honor people. And I've yet to have anybody say anything except, you know, that was a pretty cool day. Okay, so you've been mentioning the one another verses. So talk to me about that a little. Well, the one another verses are these verses that appear primarily in the epistles or in the not in the gospels in the New Testament, but the epistles, the letters. And there are brief phrases in which the, writers say, do such and such to each other, serve one another, teach one another, admonish one another. There's 59 of them in the Bible, in the New Testament. Yeah. And really, they're practical ways to learn how to interact with other people. So good. So that's like an easy takeaway, right?

It really is. Look up those 59. Yeah, yeah. And live by those, right? Where you're living your life. In the book, I unpack 10 of them. Okay. You know, because nobody wants a 59 chapter book. That wouldn't make anyone happy. And so, but yeah, I take 10 of them. And really, they're just kind of rules for living and rules for interacting with other people. So that's wonderful, Rachel, because I can control that. I can't control the weather.

I can't control so much of life. But I can control how I treat people. That's why I think that happiness levels can go up if we'll take that angle that Jesus gave us and that's trying to make other people happy. Yeah, it's so good. And it is, it's like we talk about giving a lot money. You do.

On the show and getting to the point financially where you're not burdened by debt and that you're able to live with this open hand and give because that happiness comes out of that giving, yes. So how do you think happiness and money relate? What do you see in that? I think generosity is huge. It really is. It really is.

You know, to be able to do something that maybe even is a bit spontaneous but extravagant for somebody that just knocks them on their feet, off their feet. It is so much fun. It really is. And then just measured giving, you know, to be able to tithe, to be a responsible tither,

to be able to invest, see your tithing as an investment in your church or in an organization. It's a wonderful thing. I draw a lot of satisfaction out of being able to leave a good inheritance for my kids. And in fact, our plan right now,

I tell them, I said, enjoy your heritage. I'm trying to give it all to them right now so I can watch them have fun with it. Oh, that's good. Hopefully there'll be something left over. You know, that too. I want to bless them now. It really is fun. I'm pro-money.

I'm not pro-materialism, but I'm pro-money. Because it's just a great tool with which to make people happen. Amen. So your new book, How Happiness Happens, Really, Really Excite. So dig into that a little bit. Like what caused you to write it? What's the message in it? What can people learn from it?

When I saw that statistic, Rachel, that said only one and three Americans are happy, they got me interested in happiness. And then as I began to dig around, and there's some good books out there on happiness, but the materialism factor is really big because of the advertising factor. And I get marketing. I was a marketing major in college. Most people don't know that. I studied marketing.

And that's fine. Everybody's got, we got good ideas, we want to pitch them. That's legitimate. We who hear the ideas need to be able to filter it correctly. So that's up to us. So that's what got me interested, though. And I've always appreciated the one another verses because there's such practical interaction tools. If somebody wants interaction tool 101, they should look at the one another verses in the Bible.

Yes, so good. Oh, Max, thank you. Thank you. You guys, pick up a copy of that book. Any book that he's written, there's tons of them. But you are just a master communicator. You bring God's Word to life. And even you spoke to our entire company today.

And I had some people just talk about, like, I'm just happier after hearing from next. I was like, his message definitely hit home. So really a pleasure for you to sit here and be here. So thank you. Thank you. Well, I hope you see how debt is full of broken problems. and that you don't need it to achieve the American dream. So even though the coronavirus is everywhere,

and I feel like it's what everyone is talking about, take control of what you can control, and the American dream is still alive. All right, big thanks to Jeremy and Julie from being here and sharing their story and to Max Lequeo, who is just awesome and so wise. Now, for everything we talked about in this episode, including the Contentment Journal,

Max Lecato's Children's Book, You Are Special, the one that I love, and his new book, will link all of that in the show notes. in the show notes. And if you've not subscribed to this podcast, make sure you do that. And if the spirit leads, you can leave a review.

Well, as always, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love. So if you guys enjoyed this podcast, we have more from the Ramsey Network, like the Entree Leadership Podcast. This is Alex Judd, host of the Entree Leadership podcast.

We're a community of leaders by leaders for leaders committed to bringing you practical ways to grow yourself, your team, and your profits. Join us every week as we talk to entrepreneurs, CEOs, thought leaders, bestselling authors, and more to help you with your life and your business. To hear full episodes, just search Entree Leadership wherever you listen to podcasts or go to Entreeleadership.com slash podcast.