The Rachel Cruze Show - Why Mastering Your Money Changes Everything (with Lewis Howes) 

Episode Date: May 2, 2025

📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan. In this special episode, podcast host and bestselling author Lewis Howes unpacks some powerful insights about telling your money where to go. Plus, find out why the right money mindset is the key that unlocks the financial future you really want. Next Steps: ·      🎥 Watch my video Harvard Professor Reveals the Real Reason You Want More Money. ·✍️️ Learn more about Lewis Howes. ·      📗 Get Lewis Howes’ book Make Money Easy. ·      💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!   Connect With Our Sponsors: 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman  📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, today I'm so excited because I had a great conversation with Lewis Howes, and I'm going to share that with you. Lewis House is a New York Times bestselling author, a speaker, show host, and a former pro athlete. And he has a new book out called Make Money Easy, and we're going to talk about that and a lot more. So I can't wait for you to join in the conversation. So here it is. Well, Lewis, thanks so much for being here. It's been a few years. I feel like last time was at the old building, an old studio, and all of it.

So a lot happens in life, I know. He just got married. Married. Congratulations. Thank you. So fun. We were just talking about that. Okay, so you've done so much with just your platform, your life in general.

And I'm just so curious, like, why money? Like, what was the thing that you were like, okay, this book is like, this has to be written because this is an important subject. It's obviously important because you wrote about it. And I think it's important. You guys are the money experts here. And I always interviewed money experts because I was trying to understand my relationship with money. Yes.

As I was broke on my sister's couch about 17 years ago. trying to figure out what am I going to do with my life? How can I make money? I don't understand money. I didn't have a healthy relationship with it. I was just confused. I was anxious. I was worried.

I was concerned. I was insecure about myself. And since then, I've always tried to learn how to master my relationship with it. Kind of the energy and the emotions behind money. When I get a lot of it, when I spend a lot of it, when I feel like someone's taking advantage of my money, when someone is not. ungrateful when I give to them. What all these different kind of emotions and the energy behind it, I felt like it was blocking

me from feeling more peace inside of me. And there are four different ways that I've realized for me that you can live life with money. And when I was on my sister's couch and I was broke, I was financially broke, living in credit card debt and student loan debt. And I felt spiritually broke as well. I was not clear on my purpose or my direction, no confidence. Yeah.

I think that's like level one. No one wants to be this. there. Financially broke and no purpose and no confidence. I'm miserable. Miserable. He's like, what's the point of being here? What am I doing here? Yes, totally. Yes. And the second phase was being financially broke, still not understanding money or how to make it, but feeling like, man, I've got some confidence on building momentum in my life. I was overcoming fears. I was developing skills. I was learning from coaches and mentors. And I felt like expansive in my heart. I felt like I can tackle anything.

You know, I had this energy, this passion, this excitement, this joy. And it just felt more expansive and abundant and peaceful inside, harmonious, like possibilities. Yeah. So that's the second level. It's like broke, but feeling more, oh, I can do this. The third level for me, which was probably the scariest, which is I started to figure out how to make money. But I became obsessed with it. I became obsessed with like, I need to make more and more.

And I need to save it all. And I need to make sure that I never go back to my sister's couch. I don't ever want to be broke again. Yes. So I was making it almost out of fear. I was going to say the fear of complex is huge. The fear. And I was like hoarding it and I was worried about it.

And I also wouldn't spend it on myself. I wouldn't. Okay. So where are we timeline-wise? This is like my late 20s now. Okay. Okay. I started to make money.

Yeah. And in kind of this like first four or five years, I had a million dollars in the bank. and I felt emotionally trapped. So I was like, it's almost the scariest place to be because you think the money is going to make you feel happy and feel better. And maybe it solves some money problems,

but all my relationships were out of whack. Yeah. Because the energy, the emotions, the anxiety that I was facing with my business, with money as well, it was holding me back in every other area of my life. So I felt spiritually, emotionally, trapped in some ways. And there were some blocks.

Mm-hmm. And the fourth level, so that's the third level. And it's almost like scarier because it's like you have this money. You think it's supposed to fix something. And it doesn't. And it doesn't. And it doesn't. Well, which is so like counter to what everyone hears is that money gives you freedom.

Yeah. Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom. But if you're not in a place emotionally, what you're saying to handle it, it does the opposite. For me. It traps you. Yes. It traps you. It becomes this idol, like this, like chasing thing.

It made the problems bigger. Yeah. You know, the more money I was making it. revealed more of what was inside of me. Now, it doesn't mean I was like this horrible guy or something. I still had a lot of love, a lot of joy, a lot of passion inside of me. But there was a lot of things that I felt triggered and wounded, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually that I hadn't navigated yet. So that was still inside of me. So whenever you poked me emotionally, or I felt like you were taking advantage of me, or I felt like you were stealing from me, or whatever this was,

it was like that would come out of me. I would be frustrated, resentful, jealous, competitive, all these things. And it didn't feel emotionally harmonious. So the money didn't make me feel free. It made me feel more trapped. And it was a scary place. Now, a lot of people, I see them going to, like, extreme vices. Like, you have the money now, now you can spend it on expensive things to try to fulfill something.

You can buy more alcohol, do more drugs, all these different things. things you have available for you now. So it can cause bigger pain and problems in your life if you're not able to manage those emotions. And the fourth way is really figuring out how to be financially successful in a way where you feel comfortable and also you feel emotionally comfortable. How can I feel emotionally at peace? You guys have financial peace university. It's like, how can I be financially peaceful and spiritually at peace? It doesn't mean everything's going to be perfect and there's no challenges. But 89% of the time, I can manage my emotions. I feel good about me.

I'm on purpose. My relationships are in a good place. I'm healthy, and life is good. And I've been in all four of those phases. Yes. And the reason I wanted to dive into this topic, again, I'm not a money expert. I'm not, this is not about investing or charts or like stocks. Interest rates and all of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not about this at all. The biggest episodes that I've done in my show in the last 12 years are around healing and around money. And I was like, oh. Most people don't have a healthy relationship with money because they're wounded around something from their past that's created a belief system that money is the root of all evil, money doesn't grow on trees, more money, more problems, like whatever it is that they've been told or greedy people make money, so I'm not going to go make money. Some type of belief system that has influenced our behaviors to act in accordance with the way we think. And therefore, we're just following the script of our beliefs by how we make money, how we receive it, how we block it, how we give it, and how we feel about all those things. And that's what I wanted to study.

I wanted to study this within myself because I knew I was struggling, and I still haven't mastered this. Sure, sure. And so it was understanding how can I feel peaceful, but really, how can I just feel free emotionally and know that the money's going to come and go either way? Yeah, it's so good. Gosh, there's so much there. While we're on the subject to money, one way to put your money to great use is by protecting yourself from online scammers. Listen, I used to leave me because they have been fantastic.

Right now, they have spent over 60 hours on myself. I get a report, so I see this, going in and removing my online information, and they will do the same for you. Because we spend so much time online, you guys, I mean, we are filling out forms, we're shopping, we're booking travel, all of this. And what can happen is that companies end up selling your information to data broker websites, and then they end up trading or selling your data to other companies. And we want all that stopped because that means there will be less scams and spams out there.

And your information can be removed, and that is with Delete Me. So they are incredible, and you can get 20% off an annual Delete Me plan, which averages out to around $9 a month. So just go to join DeleteMe.com slash Rachel or click the link in the description. You have to be consciously aware, which I read recently, we're like 94% of our days unconscious. Like, we are not conscious. We are not present in ourselves or like what's really going on. We are elsewhere.

Or just live it. We're kind of like sleepwalking through life to a degree. So in order to get to that place where you're like, okay, I am fully aware of the shadow part of me, the unhealthy, the healthy. I'm so aware. That takes a lot of work. Therapy. I mean, it does. It takes, I think, a lot of, a lot of.

time, a lot of energy. And I think a lot of that work, or at least I can say for me, has been going backwards. It's been going back to past. It's been going back to high school, Rachel, middle school, Rachel, little kid Rachel, childhood stuff, right? That inner child, all of that. Yes. John Deloney stuff. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, for real, yeah. But, like, how much of that work do you think affects and unlocks and heals this? It's everything. Yeah. It's everything for about six months on my phone. Now I've got a photo on my phone. I showed you of me and my wife at our wedding.

But for, I don't know, four and a half years ago, five years ago, I had a photo of my eight-year-old self on my phone. So good. Because as a constant reminder that every time I open my phone, I saw the eight-year-old version of me that was very insecure, that felt abused, that it felt like I had no friends. Like, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't smart enough.

I was getting picked on, all these different things. And I never had his back growing up. I never had his back. Again, it might sound a little weird. No, do you talk to him? Because that's what my hearing is. Of course, yeah. So you're taking care.

Your care's taking him. So now I'm saying, anytime you feel insecure, someone's taking advantage of you, I got you. I got your back. I am the adult in the room. It's not my eight-year-old anymore. Exactly. Yes. And we don't have to live on this belief system that, you know, I have these core memories

and wounds that I had to learn how to heal. And until I healed them, I reacted around emotions and energy and money when I felt triggered based on those wounds. I remember a quick story. When I was eight, my brother went to prison for selling drugs and an undercover cop. And it was devastating for our family. I grew up in a small town in Ohio. It was devastating.

And my brother was one of the top classical violinist in the country. Oh, wow. But he did some bad things. So I saw this guy who's my hero, but now he's a prisoner and he was in prison for four and a half years. And it was very painful and hard for the family. And all my parents' money, which wasn't a lot, went towards legal fees and just the stress and the trauma around that is devastating. Now, at that time, I wasn't allowed to have friends in the neighborhood, small town. Everyone knows what happened.

Because they don't want their kids around you? They don't want them around me, right? And I'm eight, he's 19, 11-year age difference. I'm the youngest of four. He's the oldest on the youngest. And it's just a devastating time at home emotionally. My parents are fighting. Money is at the root, not at the root, but it's in there.

So it's like arguments. And there was a moment where I was like, I just want to have friends, but no one was hanging out with me. A couple of kids down the block started a after-school club in their basement of their parents' house, right? And I said, can I join this club? And they said, you can either answer questions correctly to get in, or pay money.

They asked me the questions, I didn't know the answers, which confirmed that I was dumb, that I wasn't good enough and not smart in my little eight-year-old brain. Totally, totally. So I ran home and asked my mom, hey, these kids started the club, but I need $5 to join. My mom looks at me sad,

probably because I don't have any friends, but also sad because she didn't have the money at the time. You know, this is back in the late 80s. They didn't have a lot of money at the time with her after this. She plays a game. She says, why don't we go to the couch and open up the cushions and see if we can get some change for you? Go open up all the couch cushions, go in my dresser drawers, and see if we can find some change. Spend 30 minutes, we find $5 in change.

She puts them in a shoebox, she gives it to me, she said, here you go. I run down the street. I take it to these kids. I go, here's the money. Can I be in your club? They say yes. We go downstairs. They're hanging out by themselves, and I'm sitting alone in the corner still.

So this is just a wound. I had to pay to have friends. and they still wouldn't hang out with me. It's just a little wound and an emotional charge that my little nervous system had at eight years old. Yep. That started to shape but belief.

And connect it with money. And connect it with money, people, abuse, parent, all this stuff in my nervous system that made me more anxious. Yep, yeah. And until I could go back and start to heal

and create new meaning around those memories, I was trapped. It didn't matter how much money I was making because I was running from the past and trying to make money to fill me up. Yeah. And it didn't make me feel free. So that's why I was like, I need to learn how to overcome these challenges so I can have a better

relationship with money. So good. Yeah, if we talk about that personal finances, 80% behavior, 20% head knowledge, like so much of it isn't really the head knowledge. Like, we know it. And you can learn about mutual funds and all of that. Like, it's a part of it. But way more than half of personal finance is what you do with money.

It is the behavior. It's the behavior side. beliefs influence the behavior that's right so for someone watching or listening right now that are like gosh i've been trying to change my money habits through like willpower and i've been just trying and grind and just try and try and try and and it hasn't unlocked what would you say is like you what would you do at that point because there is a there is a point that we all hit walls of like my willpower yeah isn't enough like there is there there is something else in there and would you say it is the past kind of what we were talking about or like what are a couple of things that someone.

I don't think you're going to like what I say right now. But um. Go get dead. Is that what you're going to say? No, no, no, no. I'm kidding. Get on credit cards. No, no, no.

That's right. No, it's, uh, it sounds so basic that I just don't think you're not going to, you know, I don't know. But for me, gratitude and generosity are the gateway to peace, freedom, abundance, joy, love. And when we are living in anxiety, stress, overwhelm, frustration, resentment, jealousy, comparison, that is not. not a grateful state energetically. That is not a feeling energetically that leads to a behavior that makes good decisions financially. So gratitude and generosity are the gateway to peace and abundance.

And generosity doesn't mean you have to give all your money away. But you're the one who said earlier, it's like, you know, 95% of our time is unconscious and we're not present. We're thinking about the past. We're concerned about the future. But you can be a very generous human being. with your presence, with your attention, with your listening abilities, with your curiosity, with adding resources into someone, making introductions, speaking goodness into them, acknowledging them. Like, that can be some of the most generous value you bring over money. And I think if you can say to yourself, how can I live in a state of being as consistently

as possible at his gratitude. Grateful for where I'm at, even if it's not everything I want to be, how can I be grateful for I'm at and grateful for the people in my life? And how can I be a generous giver to the younger version of me that needs that love and support, the current version of me, and to others around me. And I just believe that you'll have a feeling energetically, like your mom says, feel good, and you'll behave with goodness as well. Yeah. It's great. Well, you mentioned it earlier, And it is so true that money, and we say it here a lot, but it is. It's the truth that money magnifies who you are, right? It doesn't create good and bad necessarily.

It just starts to magnify the depths of who we are as people. And you said that. I mean, it's exactly right. I don't think, yeah, money doesn't fix you. Like, money doesn't heal you, it reveals you. That's right. Yes, so good. So for somebody that starts to live, as you just said, with gratitude, with generosity,

how would their life look different a year from now, right? If they really start putting into practice, because that is the thing. I think it's true. We hold on to money for a level of control, right? It can be this thing that we're like, okay, we want to control. And I say at the end of the show every time, take control of your money and create a life you love.

Because there is a level of like, hey, we're grownups here. And if we just sit there and passively let it happen to us, it's going to continue just to be gentle. So you do have to be in the driver seat to say, okay, I'm going to direct this part of my life because if not, it's just going to happen to me. and be broke at 78 and trying to retire, whatever it might be, right? So there's a healthy level of that control. That control can go unhealthy real quick. Yeah, to obsession. And that's,

seriously, yeah, and that's when we hold on to it. And so gratitude is the, or generosity is the complete opposite. It's living with that open hand. So when you do that, if that's the posture of how you hold money, the posture of your hearts, how you see people, how you interact with people, your relationships, all of it. Yeah, a person listening, it's like, okay, I can't change my habits, been trying, try, and trying, and I just can't get into it. But I am going to live in a more grateful, generous spirit. Yeah. What is going to change for them?

What are they going to see on the other ends? Become a different being. Like, within a year, within days, you're going to radiate an energy that people say something's different about you. And you can feel when someone's frustrated, living in a victim mentality, upset, jealous, like there's an energy and an attitude that is a lower-level energy that holds people back. And you're always like, just get out. out of it, you know, and you talk about taking control.

And it's really about being a responsible human being for yourself. Yeah. And say, how can I be responsible with my money and responsible with my thoughts, with my reactions and everything? And when you live that way, you start behaving in a way that is better decisions. Financially, relationships, whatever it might be. Yeah. And you live in integrity with yourself.

And you live an integrity with God. And you're doing a better job every day. You're going to feel better and life's going to get better. Yeah. That's so great. I know I always think about scripture, how there's like, there's some tactical things in there that are wise, like through Proverbs. You're just like, it's so good. But there are so many warnings, so much warnings about money, about wealth, all of this because, and I think God knew. I think Jesus, I think that there was this level of this, this is going to be a double-edged sword for us on this earth. And it can be such a gift and such a blessing, but it also can ruin you and trap you more, all of this. And so I love, yeah. It's like the story with the talents, right?

It's like one of them held on in the talents, right? They didn't reinvest it. They didn't multiply it. And you can't hold on to it or hoard it. And it's also you can't hold on to your love and your generosity also. You want to multiply that. Yes. And speak positivity into someone else.

Acknowledging them, texting a friend once in a while, just saying, hey, I'm here for you if you ever need anything. That's a generous spirit. And the love multiplies. the kindness multiplies. In a world where we just feel stressed and overwhelmed a lot of people with what's happening in the world constantly, you can take back control of your life like you say and be a responsible human being to you by spreading gratitude and generosity to the people around you. Yep.

So good. Oh, so great. Lewis, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm like, I'm so excited, you guys, for y'all to read this book because it does. I'm like, there is this element of money. And you're right. So we go to the tactical so fast.

And that's what people want to know. Investing. Yeah, all of it. And all of it's, you know, fine. But the heart and your position with money is it's everything. It is everything. And so obviously, you guys, as you heard from him, like, it dives into all of us and more. We only got like this much of the other.

But there's so much in here. So I'm so thankful you wrote it. And you guys make sure to check it out. And where can people find you? This is Lewishouse.com or the School of Greatness. Okay. So great. Great podcast, too, by the way.

So great. Thanks again. for being here. I appreciate it. All right, we will link Lewis's new book down below so you can make sure to check it out. But making progress with managing money means nothing if you don't understand the root cause behind it, which is why I had a Harvard professor on to reveal the real reason why we want more money.

So make sure to check that out. You can click here or if you're listening on podcasts, click the link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.