The Ramsey Show - Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

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Music Music Music Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is the Ramsey Show. It's where we help you win in your life, very specifically in your money, in your work, and in your relationships. Triple 8, 825-5225 is the number.

Triple 8, 825-5225. Hey, we'd love to hear from you. Always fun to be sitting alongside my good pal, my friend. I don't know if you can call a lady a pal, but I just do it. Just my old pal, Rachel Cruz. Old pal. Known each other forever. And we love, love taking your questions. So let's have some fun. Let's get some hope established for you so you can move forward. Let's get some hope established for you so you can move forward. Let's start off in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The city of?

Rachel. Brotherly love. There it is, she used to make fun of me now. You're welcome. I think you've been paying attention to my little quotes. That's it. Just. You're so happy about it.

Melanie, how can we help? Hey guys, thank you so much for taking my call. I'm excited to talk to you both. Well, we're excited to talk to you. What's happening? Awesome. So I'm in a little bit of a professional conundrum. So I love a conundrum.

Great word. I'm currently working two full-time remote jobs that has been great for my family. Wow. Kids in school and all that. I'm fortunate to find two, you know, remote jobs. Hold on a second. Hold on. This is fascinating. I gotta know. Do both companies know about the other? Of course not. So you are a professional polygamist. Are you aware of this?

Can we say? I kind of. Yes, you can say. They're in two different fields. Melody, I am so sorry that you have to deal with him. No she's not offended. She's not offended at all. I expect Ken to give me a hard time. Listen, not even doing that. I just wanted to say professional polygamist because you've got, you've got two, you've got sister wives. You've got two companies that you're working full time for and they don't know about the other.

And I'm not even trying to- I think sister wives know about each other. That is fair. You get my point. It's a fun little metaphor. How are you pulling this off? How long have you pulled this off? I've been doing it now for a year.

You're exhausted? And, huh? Are you tired? I'm a little tired. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I'm in two full-time jobs. Yeah. And keeping them away from each other. It's like having a mistress. It's exhausting. It's a lot of great time management. That's all I can say. You must be incredible. So what kind of money you knocking down? So I'm netting

96 a year. Okay. All right. So what's your question? So I'm netting 96 a year. 96 a year. Okay. All right. So what's your question? So I've just been offered a different job that will cause me to be hybrid, three days in the office and two days working from home, with a base pay of 100K and with up to a potential you're getting a 20% bonus of my base pay. Oh wow.

And what has kept you from saying yes to that offer? Well, because I technically would be netting less. I guess, you know, right now my husband and I bring home about 12 a month. And then if I take this, we'd be bringing home about 97. Why would the net be less? That's not including the bonus though. Yeah, exactly. And you're not cheating on another company and thus risking getting

fired from one or both. Yeah. And also I think professionally, the job that just offered me this position would be a step up for me professionally. Great! But I just, I don't know, I'm just a little nervous about giving up to remote jobs and you know, flexibility with the kids because I do have like school-aged children at home. Let me ask you, Melanie, let me ask you a real question and you've been a great sport

because Rachel thinks I'm being mean, I'm not. I'm not judging you. I'm just trying to coach you. How long do you think you're going to be able to keep this up and then not find out about it? How long do you think you have? Not very long. I mean, honestly, I think it's more just to do the dead snowball for my husband and I were at Baby Step 2. I don't think you understand the concept. Hold on a second, Melanie. I don't think you understand the concept. Hold on a second, Mellie. I don't think Rachel understands the concept. She's working two full-time jobs. I hear that. To be like you being a personality for another company

and they not know about it. She knows she can't keep this up because she's gonna get found out and then she's fired. Yeah, but wouldn't it be like having a part-time job but you're just doing more hours? It's pretty much what it's like because they are in two different fields. No, no, no, no. Okay, hold on. Just for point of interest here, okay, we're not going to get stuck on this, but I got to help my friend Rachel and Melanie got to help you.

Rachel has to help me here. No, no, she doesn't understand it. Once she understands it, Rachel, listen to me. Here's what's happening. One company, let's call it ABC, is paying Melanie to work a full-time job. Yes. That's what, 40 hours a week minimum, Melanie? Roughly? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Company XYZ is also paying Melanie to work 40 hours a week. And Melanieody just tell us how many hours you work in a week for both companies? 80. That's now I didn't see that coming she's trying to get me out of technicality I still think it's I think it's it's it's unethical that they don't know about each other. Yeah I can get the secret yes and again not to judge you Melody because there's no judgment it's more protection so we've

already covered down do you get my no I always but in my head if she's if she's working, but I get the secrecy right, but if you're working both Full-time, okay. I said I knowledge that she kind of had me on a technicality But it's still dishonest and we still have an ethical issue that she could get But with one which all I care about it ABC company doesn't care that she's also working for XYZ How do you know? Because they don't know. No, but what if they're not? Then it's not, then in your book is it okay?

If they're okay with it? If they're okay with each other? Yes, 100%. So it's the secrecy that's bothering you, that they don't know about each other. It's not bothering me in a sense that I think she's a bad, it's just, it's risky for Melanie. I'm literally playing defense lawyer for her going, I'm not gonna tell you what you did was wrong. My job is to help you keep getting paid and not get fired. So now the question is, do I take this other job

which has a bonus above and beyond the 100 base plus a path for growth, Melanie? You said this is a job that's a better play for you long-term. Melanie, it's a no-brainer. Now I'm not working 80 hours a week. Yeah, now you're not working 80 hours a week. And.

You're not cheating on another company. And again, it may be a lifestyle shift because it's a hybrid idea. Right. But maybe you get into that and it works and it's great and you figure out the logistics with the kids and your kids are in school, which is helpful. Yeah.

Or you pan back a year from now and say are in school which is helpful. Yeah. Or you pan back a year from now and say wow this is hard so maybe I go back to LMNO company and you find another job. Melody, you do know I'm on team Melanie right? We love you Melanie. I do. But listen. I do and I just wanted to make sure that I'm not kind of shooting myself in the foot with the $3,000 less that I'd be making. Yeah. But you're not, but you told us you're not including the bonus in that exercise. So you gotta put the bonus in, amortize that over 12 months, and then you start looking at the monthly.

It's not quite 3000 because you said 97. So it's, yeah. So my point is I think it's all in all it's not gonna be that much of a difference at all in the short term and we know long term is better if you take this new job and just for your own benefit so you're not working 80 hours a week you're working 40 yeah yeah yeah freeze up a lot. Thank you so much I appreciate your input. Yeah Melanie take the job man you gotta get out of jail free here on this one. I mean, whoa! By the way, this is a new trend. She is not alone. There are millions of Americans that are professional polygamists. They have two full-time jobs and they don't know about each other.

And it is cheating. I don't care how you slice it. I'm all for you getting them paid, but man you can get fired and that makes me nervous, you know? Oh man, so I'm also a Berna guy. Berna is the un-gun, a less lethal option that protects you in more ways than one. A Berna is effective self-defense when you need it. It also helps protect your assets from lawsuits if you have no choice but to use force, because a Berna pistol immobilizes attackers without fatal harm. I have several Berna pistols and I love them. In fact, I had a Berna before they started advertising with us. They're easy to use with no recoil and no noise reduction needed.

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that's B-Y-R-N-A dot com slash Dave. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show where we are taking your calls about your money, your career, your relationships, anything and everything. And triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. Up next is Karina and Boise. Hey Karina, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. Yeah, absolutely. How can we help? So last week me and my fiance broke up because we couldn't decide on finances. And also more importantly, we couldn't decide on how to inherit our kids. He has two boys and I have one son and I have a paid for house and I make a bit

more money than him and he has a house with some equity in that, but he has a roommate on the title and mortgage because I guess they invested together. And then, so I am, I am Christian and I know God wants us to put our spouse before our children but I think in our arguments I was just having such a hard time and you know I haven't I haven't been with my fiance but it's for a week but just moving forward with him or without him I need to figure it out for the next time that this comes up about and you know figure out how to how to deal with it you know who do you guys share children? Yeah, children. Are your children from different folks? You share them?

What's the situation? Oh yeah, he has two boys with his first wife. Okay. And I have a son and I pretty much raised him alone. His father was not involved. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. And what was the disagreement about, Karina?

So I think it all started when I mentioned to him that when I moved into my house, which is paid off, I wanted to leave this as an inheritance to my son because I think I sacrificed a lot of quality time when my son was little because I was going to school for engineering and I was single and I was working so I didn't get to spend that quality time with him and when I finally got that stability I wanted to give it to him kind of to make up for what I couldn't do before. So it's really emotional for me to talk about finances. And my my ex fiance, he wasn't understanding that. And to this point, I get it. Like, your spouse should come first.

But in terms of finances, I'm just having a hard time dealing with that. Did you did you initiate the breakup or did he? It was just kind of neutral. We just kind of got tired of talking about different scenarios and how we can make it work and we both argued our points like I know he wants to protect his children and I want to protect my son in terms of what we have established already. So what's your question for us specifically? How do you go about finances in a second relationship when you already bring in children? How old are the kids?

Do you disinherit them or do you just not get married? My son is 21 and his kids, he has a 13 year old and a 15 year old. Okay. So no, I let Rachel take the bigger crux of the relationship and money, but he's 21 and he has a 15 year old? No, my son is 21. My fiance is 40. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you meant he has more, he as in your fiance. I'm sorry. I apologize. Yeah, I just want to, I want to point out something that's come up twice in the conversation with us and I just want to get that out of the way and let Rachel kind of help you on this and, and I can weigh in on the marriage stuff too, but this idea that the Bible says that you, you value your spouse over your kids, this idea that that means you disinherit your son. No, no, no, no.

This is all going to fall under the same umbrella that Rachel's going to advise you on, on y'all being on the same page. And it doesn't matter if the kids are coming in from previous relationships or not. But no, under no scenario are you going to disavow or as you're saying, disinherit your son. That's not part of the equation and if that's part of the conversation it's not healthy and you did the right thing by walking. Yeah and Karina for you as a mom because I can only imagine the sacrifices that you made when he was little and that's where a lot of this emotion is coming from and so I feel feel like I would, I would kind of challenge you to say, you know,

this is a symbol, this house is a symbol of your hard work, you feeling guilty, probably a level of mom guilt of leaving your son when he was younger. And it's excruciating, you know, when I was telling my kids, I had a four year old crying in the garage when I pulled out to come do this show. Like it's not fun, like it is hard as a mom for those working and that you're like, oh, and so you as a single mom

especially went through so much, Karina, so much in order to have this. But I would just challenge you, not that this would change your decision, but I want you to, if you can, separate this house and what you did for your son and the relationship you have with your son. This house has become a symbol,

and I don't want it to be the make or break breaking point for you in the future with relationships. And I understand that it's to protect this for your son, but just as a mom, I don't want you to carry that burden of still feeling like I have to, I have to make up for what I did. Cause Karina, you did what you had to do. You were a single mom and that's, that was the situation you were in. And so that you were not a bad mom for doing this. So giving your house a son or not giving your, your son a house or not, does it make you a good or bad mom?

So I want you to kind of separate that language in your head because I feel like that's twisted into this decision. Does that make sense? Yes. Because I, and I applaud you for being so protective of it because again, I hear what you walk through with it so it makes sense, but hear what you walk through with it. So it makes sense but I also don't want this house to be the symbol of What I did and I feel bad and now I have to make it up to my son

because you know what your son wants Karina he wants you and and and if he wants his mom to be happy if this man That you love Your your ex-fiance say, you know If there if that is a relationship that is good for you and it is healthy, and you guys can find the way to reconcile these two things, or this thing of the inheritance, which is a big deal, but also at the end of the day,

there's a point, too, of companionship and love in a marriage. Yeah, that's the question I have, Karina, and pardon me for, I was trying to listen. Are you guys on the same page with debt and everything else? Or is there also some separation in the way he sees money and debt and all that stuff? Because you've done everything the right way. Where are you guys on the rest of the stuff? The rest of the money stuff. He's good with money and yeah he's very smart with money and I don't think there's an issue there. I think it's just more about combining households and you know.

Is he on the same page with you? And I'm bringing in wine. Right, but let me ask you this, is he on the same page in relation to debt, that's yes or no? Yes. Okay. Is he also on the same page that when we come together as a married couple, we combine our finances? Yes. He is more for that than me. He said that we should combine everything and at the end of the day we just split it up like when we both passed away we just split it up evenly between all our kids. Okay, all right, all right. I'm the one that's kind of like selfish because I'm like I'm bringing in more and he has two

kids and I have one kid. Yeah, but Rachel's right. I hope you heard Rachel. I'm telling you she's right. So I got to tell you I'm taking a little bit different tack here I think you guys need to have a nice dinner And I think you guys need to sit down and get this hashed out and say what really matters and let's look at the big picture And you're gonna have to let go of some stuff. I love Rachel's advice there. I

Want to see her I want to see her give this a chance I know cuz I feel like this is just about the investment I know and it becomes this this thing and we don't want our stuff to own us and at that point it's owning a part of you for good reason I understand it but I want you to have freedom from that and I think it's attached to that mom guilt Karina that I really want you to think through so thank you for calling I hope that helps and you know I hope you guys can can go the way that you need to go, whether it's together or separate.

Thanks for calling. I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible, air people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance.

When you have to think through how am I gonna pay my bills? In the middle- How am I gonna eat next week? Yeah, in the middle of all that grief, like it's just, it is, it's terrible. So life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get

because it's inexpensive. Xander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not gonna be here. You got to say it out loud and you got to say I'm gonna say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. It costs those stinking pizza. To get a free quote call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282 or go to zander.com.

Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. Excited to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman. And the graceful Rachel Cruz is alongside today. I know, I'm trying to look for another adjective. So how about that? I'll take Graceful. You'll take it? All right, very nice. Hey, today's question of the day is brought to you by Why ReFi? Politicians make a lot of promises and sometimes they might even keep one or two. But if you're in over your head with private student loans, don't rely on the government, contact Why ReFi. Why ReFi? Refinance is defaulted, private student loans and gives you a low fixed rate loan bill for you.

Go to yrefy.com slash Ramsey today, that's the letter Y, R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey, it may not be available in all states. All right, today's question comes from Elizabeth in Missouri. We have two elementary school aged kids, five and seven, we budget for the kids to buy school lunch once a week. The school is cashless so we add money to an account to be used for the kids to scan their ID card and the lunch line. In addition to the regular

lunch, the school sells snacks at checkout. We have told the kids that they can get lunch but would have to pay us back from their piggy bank money for any extra treats that they buy. Initially we thought this would be a good intro in teaching them about money management, but then realized that it's more like buying on a credit card and paying mom and dad back later. Are we teaching them that credit is okay with this plan in the cashless system where there's no tangible money to be exchanged? How else can we teach young kids about money management?

Oh, that's funny. No, I don't think that's teaching them about debt. I'm like, they're buying snacks at the cap. As long as the pain comes from the piggy bank, they're learning. Yes, yes. And the reality is too, you're teaching them about money management in 2024.

I mean, there's a lot of cashless vendors and retailers that vendors and retailers that it is what it is. So, so what are you, what are you going to do with that with your debit card and all? So, so yeah, that doesn't, that doesn't bother me. I think this is great actually because treats at school is ground zero for kids learning to kind of be content. You're the queen of contentment over there. You know what I mean? Like you think about it. That's where their greatest temptation to spend is the treats.

I know, my kids buy it at school. Oh, do you have a story? Well, this just felt close to home because our school is the exact same way. And there's an app, of course, that you go and you can load and use Apple Pay to load the money back in the school lunches, all of it. And I didn't know this, this is back when my oldest was,

this was a few years ago, when I didn't know how everything works. And one of my friends was like, you know, you can go back and look and see what all they've bought. And I was like, what? No, sure enough. Tracking a little Amelia's spending.

Sure enough, there were treats upon treats upon treats. And I was like, I was like, I know, I just said Amelia, she was like, well, some of my friends wanted some, she was buying stuff for other kids. And I was like, no, no. So the teachers are great, because when they're little like that,

like first, second grade, you can email them and even tell the teacher, hey, they're only allowed a treat on Fridays. And they kind of help, you know, manage it. But some of these kids, it wasn't always just Amelia, but some of these kids are bartering and hey, you pay me that and I'll of help, you know, manage it. But some of these kids, it wasn't always just Amelia, but some of these kids are bartering and, hey, you pay me that and I'll get you, I mean, they figure out how to work the system,

those little ones. It's like an open air market overseas. It's amazing, yeah. I like it, I like it. She wasn't buying treats for little Johnny, was she? Do what? Who's little Johnny? I don't know, I'm making it up.

Oh, okay, I don't know. I don't think so. All right, very good. That'd be Caroline, probably, let's be honest. I love it,'t think so. All right. That'd be Caroline probably. Let's be honest. I love it. I love it. All right.

Let's go to Davenport, Iowa where Daniel is. Daniel, how can we help today? Hey, Jen. Hey, Rachel. How are you doing today? Good. What's going on? Well, so I'm wondering if I should stay with my current employer or if I should start looking

for a different job. Tell me more. I got to know more. Should we stay or should we go is the question. So I am a husband and a father. I got three little girls and I got another one due in about four and a half weeks. Wow, congratulations. Thank you, all girls.

Oof, I'll pray for you. God bless you. Yeah. Lots of prayers right now. So my current employer, I told them that my family is growing and what I'm making there just currently isn't cutting it. And I've just been professional and informed them I'm a trucker. So I informed them I'm getting my hazardous materials endorsement to get a job that pays

me more money, a job where I can be home daily so I can be with my girls every night. They had no problem with that they understood and but then they asked me to wait about a couple days to a week later saying that there could be a significant raise coming down the pipe because they did some third-party research in our area and find out that their salary is pretty bottom of the barrel. So that was about four months ago, and I've been kind of politely pestering them, and there has been no raise this far, and every time I ask about it they just say because it has to get shot up to corporate, and they say that corporate has not given them an answer thus far. Yeah, so you're being stonewalled.

So this was four months ago that they told you, hang out for about four days or a week. So I love the fact that you have taken this into your own hands and getting that extra licensing. So when are you eligible to step into that role or driving those hazardous materials, which gets you the big raise and a better schedule. Well, I've done, you have to get like fingerprint and all this stuff through like the federal

government and everything. I've done all that. I literally just have to go to the DMV and take the test. I've taken the test twice, but it's a very hard test and I missed it by four questions last time. So I just passed the test, get the endorsement, and I can walk onto these jobs. Let's go. But do not quit yet. We've got a baby on the way, three girls at home, a lot of responsibilities. Do not leave this current employer until we have the other gig lined

up. That's my clear-cut advice on that. So let's go. Stop waiting for this current company, my friend Daniel. The current company, they're not going to call you back. I remember in high school, I'd have some buddies. I always got the quick clue, Rachel. But I had some buddies who would ask a girl out about three or four times. After the second, no. It's time to move on. And they're not answering your question. They're kicking it up to corporate and I'm not even sure they're talking to anybody in corporate. So the sign is on the wall is what I'm getting at. It's time for you to take the next test. Let's get this thing done and let's move on. Okay. Now I'm only allowed one question, correct?

No, I'm kidding. Go ahead. When I say we'll allow it, I'm being a smart. No, I'm kidding. Go ahead. When I say we'll allow it, I mean, it's smart. This just takes care of my immediate, but I actually took your GetClear assessment. Okay, great. And so I just kind of wanted some guidance on that. Sure. I'll just tell you my purpose statement and got it memorized.

Okay. But I was created to use my talents of instruct... I thought I had it memorized, my talents of communication, instruction, and imagination to perform my passions of leadership, advising, and performing to fulfill my mission of service by providing assistance and security. Gotcha. So what's coming off there for me is that's a lot of people work. People and ideas. Right? So when it's, there's some creativity in that, but mostly all of those answers we're driving at,

you're good at people stuff and you enjoy people work. Correct? Correct, yeah. So at that point now, I mean, if you don't have the book, find the work you're wired to do, I'm gonna give it to you. Do you have the book? Because you need some more coaching. I actually currently have it checked out from the library. Oh, well, fantastic. I'm gonna give it to you for free today.

And from paycheck to purpose. Great, I'll give you both for free today. Christian, let's get this guy hooked up here in just a minute, we'll give you both for free. But here's what you've gotta do. What you've gotta do is take that purpose statement and you now look at that as a job description, okay? Because it's all laid out for you.

So now you go, okay, if this is a job description for me, then where in my area, where in the world of work where I live are jobs open that allow me to do this? It's that simple. So you're not sitting around scratching your head, what am I supposed to do? So it's, you're going to be doing people work. You talked about the imagination piece, the instruction piece.

So that is a communicative, you have the communication, instruction and imagination. That is, you are going to be working with people, training them, the leadership thing popped up there, the advising thing popped up. So you know, guide, instructor, coach, that's the type of thing you're looking for. But it may take some time to get into that. So I really like the path that we're on. Let's move into the hazardous materials right now, as soon as we can. Bump up that salary, new baby. Let's get everything stable there. And then let's take the steps next to go into that work that you were absolutely wired to do

Hang on the line Daniel. You're a good man. You've already got your sign your current company. They're not gonna bring the race Let's move on hang on the line We'll get you those two books and I'll coach you through via the book. All right quick break. She's Rachel Cruz I'm Ken Coleman. This is the Ramsey show. We'll be right back I'm Ken Coleman. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, it's that time of year.

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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash deloney. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, I'm joined by Rachel Cruz. The phone number is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. We're here to answer your questions. Let's go to Jason who joins us now in Los Angeles, California. Jason, how can we help? Hey, thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's going on today, Jason? So I have a, excuse me. I have a, sorry, I have a quinceanera that my daughter wants to plan.

And I don't know if you guys are familiar, but quinceanera is pretty much like a sweet 16. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you guys are familiar, but Kingston, you had us pretty much like a sweet 16. We, and I'm in a bit of a pickle as to whether I could or I should, or if I could afford it or should I do it. How much is it going to cost? So, estimated is, I'm estimating between 10 and 15,000. Wow. You got an itemized list on that? No. Another detail on this is that I'm currently going through a divorce with her mother and this

is kind of being planned by her and either their crisis kind of, or her prices, as far as what they found. I'm just trying to see the problem is, is that I have just recently actually fully funded my six month emergency fund. But that takes into account any support that I pay her, um, my ex spouse. I don't know if I'm technically I can dip into that but it's an emergency fund and this is not an emergency. Yeah. Not only that, you can't afford it. You're calling us to ask, the way that you're talking we know you can't afford it, am I right? You can't afford 10 to 15 grand. And they're expecting

you, so they're planning, like she's planning it and they're gonna expect you to foot the whole bill? Not foot the whole bill, foot half. She was asking for, at the beginning of all these talks was half of it, half of 10, which was five, but I don't think that's realistic of what it would cost. I can, if I save up until the point of when this is supposed to happen, I could probably save

about $4,000. Okay. But I'm just, whether I should do this at this time in my life is a big question. Jason, do you have any other debt, Jason? No, no debt. No debt, okay. But you're fully funded emergency fund. How much do you make a year? Overtime has been good this year, so it's about 120.

120, okay. So here's my two things that I keep thinking as you're talking. Number one, how we define an emergency to actually dip into an emergency fund is when something is unexpected. So this doesn't really qualify because we know that she's going to be. Yeah. Is it 16 years old or is it 15? It's 15. 15. Yeah. Okay. So we knew she was going to be turning 15. So it's not unexpected.

Is it urgent? Do I have to do it like right now? Right now? Right now? Yeah, I guess. I guess urgent would somewhat qualify and because there's a date there and is it necessary, right now, right now? Yeah, I guess, I guess urgent would somewhat qualify and because there's a date there and is it necessary, right? So these are the two things. So honestly, this whole thing, it does not check off all those boxes for me. So no, it's technically not an emergency. So that's one part of the discussion.

The second part is that you could bring together some money, right? And let's just say, pretend that it is 10,000, they want you to do five, you could say four, could you take a thousand out of the emergency fund to get to the five? Sure, like you could, right? I mean, it's not the end of the world.

But my biggest problem with all of that though, Jason, is that just like weddings, just like another party, just like vacations, anything, if you don't keep a strict budget and have a limit to what you're gonna spend, it gets more expensive. I mean, a house, even when you build a house, same thing. The line continues to move.

So Jason, if you decide to do this and to save the 4,000 for her, which I think would be great, right? I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Okay, Ken's not that happy about it. If you do it though, there has to be very clear communication and boundaries with your future ex-wife to say, and your daughter, I would bring her in on it

and say, guys, this is what's going on. Here's what I will have for you. This is it. This is all I can do in good conscience and in good faith at where I am in life. This is what I have. Work with that, right? And you set the tone, you set the amount

on which you can do, Jason. Because if you tell them, sure, I'll do half, it's gonna go from 10 to 15 to 20, and there's gonna be no boundaries. So you have to set that boundary. Okay, Ken's dying over here. I'm dying, I'm dying. I agree with everything Rachel said.

I just wanna say this. I'm gonna answer this as if I was in your shoes. And I don't know if there's any special features to this party, so I'm completely ignorant. But if my daughter, Josie, who by the way turns 15 tomorrow, if she came to me and said, I want a big party and I've got a budget, I think it's going to be 10, I would ask for an itemized list. There's no way I'm even gonna give four or five six without seeing Where what are the specific? Where is that?

Where in the world is ten grand going for a party for a bunch of 15 year olds? So I'm starting there And and so I would say that everything Rachel said is absolutely right you give your number after they give you numbers You don't just get well, it's gonna be 10, maybe 12, maybe 15, you give half. And you have to ask for specifics and have a real conversation with your daughter. And you're in a very tough situation now with the divorce

and now she's got two. And that's tough. And don't let the guilt and don't let the guilt ride over that, Jason. Just say, baby, here's the deal, okay? Give me your budget. What do you want for your party? Let's just walk through it. Let's teach her.

This is a teaching moment to go, yeah, I'd like to drive a Lamborghini, but I can't. And so I know you want a $10,000 party, but guess what? Me and mom can't do a $10,000 party, but we can make it an amazing party, and this is how much money I can give

towards an amazing party. I think that's the conversation, well, it's not I think. That's exactly how I would talk it over with my daughter Josie. I'd get her wish list, get real numbers, and then how can I meet her expectations in a much more budget-conscious way? I think that's where you start.

It takes the pressure off, because now you're dealing in reality. And then you go, look, babe, this is what I can do. Yeah, and this stuff, Jason, and I know it's such a cultural part, right? I can see it. Like I know that it is. And I know like, you know,

and we've, I remember we had a guy call, I think he was from India, in the wedding that he wanted to spend was like half a million dollars. So right, so like, I totally am aware that there are certain things culturally that the expectation is really big. But culture should never outrule common sense. But that's it too.

So I'm like, it's, and you could say that about the American culture, right? Weddings or whatever, like you could plug in other things. It's ridiculous. So you do have to, there's gonna be multiple areas, Jason, within you that you're gonna have to be like, this, oh, this is not, doesn't feel right, it's not what I wanted.

But part of being a grownup too, Jason, is looking at the numbers, what Ken's saying, and it's like, here's just, here's the reality. Here's the reality of what we have, and what we can, or what I have and what I can do. And- So coming back to you, Jason, you have a real number in your head

that you feel like I can't afford. You feel like a guy who's in control of his money situation. You sound really stable. What's the number that you go, if I set it on fire for my daughter, it wouldn't bother me, wouldn't give me a Maylocks moment. What is that number? Well, right now, the big thing that is heavy on me is that I haven't even gotten into my investing portion of my life for the future. I get that, but you didn't answer my question.

What's the number that you know I can give this money to my daughter and I'm not going to lose sleep over it? Um, as of now, I would say maybe for something like this, 3,000. Okay. Then now we've got a starting number. I'm trying to coach you through this practically. You got a number where you go, I know you don't want to spend any money

because you think you're behind, you're not. You're going to be fine on your investing. You got to weather this divorce. You got to figure out what the payments are going to be and all that, and you're going to restart, okay? But you're okay. But if the number's 3,000, where you go, that's my baby girl, she wants this, I can give her three grand, then let's start with that,. But if the number's 3,000, we go, that's my baby girl. She wants

this. I can give her three grand. Then let's start with that. Then go get the itemized list and let's see if we can get closer to it. That's what I'm trying to do is get you to a point where you don't let guilt run the day and make a bad financial decision. And I think the 3,000 is a common sense number. Would you agree? Okay. So yeah. All right. And your ex-wife's not gonna like it. Yeah. So, prep for that. And your daughter may not like it. She don't like you right now anyway, so we're not losing that deal. I mean, I'm not trying to be insensitive.

I'm just keeping it real. What are you gonna do? Make her not want to be married to you more? I mean, we've already crossed that bridge So you got to stick to your guns man and Get the itemize. Yeah, Jason. You're a good man. You're gonna be fine. It's gonna be a great party Yes, Rachel, by the way, he'll come do a dance Send that request something that'll be great. You'll tell a story. This is the re-initial Remember the good old days of the internet before it was a privacy nightmare filled with spammers scammers hackers and fraudsters This is The Re-Initial. They scour the web to find and remove your data from these sketchy data broker websites. And this includes your name, your phone number, your email, your address and more. And Delete Me will send you a detailed report of what they did and how much time they've saved you. And they've saved me 66 hours so far, which is more time I can spend

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Rachel Cruz joins me this hour. Let's go to Preston who joins us now in Dallas, Texas. Preston, how can we help? Hey, how's it going, Ken? Thank you all for having me this morning. Sure. I know I'm a married guy with three kids. We got a good income of about $185,000, $190,000 a year, but it seems like we are hemorrhaging money through our miscellaneous budget item and our our food item you know we've got one car loan we've got about twelve thousand dollars left on that I've got

some medical debt we had a child this year so we've got about six thousand dollars there and then we've got just some student loans left over that amounts to about forty five hundred and then a mortgage that's about two hundred thousand left so total debt is about two hundred and twenty two thousand dollars we make you know one eighty five one ninety and it feels like at the end of the month we just have nothing left. I really just kind of wanted to get some insight on what should a family spend, you know, monthly in a miscellaneous item, maybe in the food budget, but we're just spending pretty much what we earn. And, you know, we've gone up in salaries over the last five years tremendously. We've doubled what we make, but we're still spending everything we make.

Yeah. And so I cannot figure out how to get over that hump. Yeah, it's the classic lifestyle creep, right? It's just a little bit here and there. And over time that starts to become your norm. And then you just add a little bit more, add a little bit more, and then you look up and you're exactly, yeah, what you're saying.

Preston, are you guys doing a very detailed budget? Very detailed. I am in accounting, which is kind of ironic but I'm not good at accounting for my own expenses but you know we we set a food budget of let's say $1,500 to $2,000 a month and then you sit there and go hey we just spent $3,000 on food and you sit there and go how are we doing that? Well as George would would like to not hear, we eat out all the dang time.

We just don't know when we got to eat baby. Yeah. But yeah, let's just, let's go out to eat if it's easier. I know. And we all know that we're gonna spend way more there than we do eating at home, but it's really just frustrating to be like that. Well, there's no, that's what's hard about this Preston

is with personal finance, we always say it's 80% behavior, it's 20% head knowledge. So you have the head knowledge of the numbers down with the budget of here's what we're gonna do, but then you guys are not living on the plan that you've created. You're going over a thousand dollars in food, you're throwing a few hundred bucks here or there

throughout the month on all this other stuff. And so when you realize that it's more of a discipline problem with you guys and the choices that you're making in everyday expenses, it is, it's sucking the life out of y'all. What I would do, Preston, I would challenge you guys to say, and you know what, if you hold on the line, I'm gonna give you the premium version of EveryDollar,

because I think EveryDollar is one of the most helpful budgeting tools, because it's gonna be able to connect to your bank, and you're gonna be able to really be able to see in the way they do the paycheck planning and everything, it's just, it's a really well easy thing to see, and your wife can have the same login, so you guys both have the app on your phone. And I would practice, Prestonon acting like you guys make 80.

Okay. Act like you're like you're making 80 grand and do a budget off of that and just see what, see what happens. Say, okay, we, then that means we have to way cut back here. That means these, you know, 18 subscriptions we're paying for, we can't do that. That means maybe the kids that are doing the fun little gym classes every two days a week they're not gonna do that anymore like you will have to cut back because I want

you to take that 80 grand or more quote unquote I'm kind of just using a random number but I want you paying off the student loan the car loan I mean all these loans that you guys have besides your mortgage you guys could get this knocked out so quickly and what I love about this, we always just call it gazelle intense because it is deep sacrifice. You are running like your hair's on fire

and it's like, it is scorched earth. It's like, we're doing nothing. We're doing nothing and we're cutting back. And so that means maybe even cutting back more than 80. I was just saying as a fun mathematical game on the budget, just look to see what you would cut start there. And then I would trim back as much as you guys can, Preston, because I want you guys to feel progress with your money.

And it feels like you're spinning your wheels. You got all this debt hanging around, you're living still paycheck to paycheck, and there's been no progress. And so in order to get these wins, like there's some stuff in lifestyle that you will cut and it'll hurt. It will not be fun. And I know with a new baby, it's like, you guys are all exhausted. I get it. This is the time to do it, to buckle down and say it's now or never. It's for a short period of time because then when all that's gone, Preston, I mean, how much is going out in payments for this debt per month besides your

mortgage? Do you have that? How much is going out in payments for this debt per month? Besides your mortgage, do you have that? How much is going out just to debt? I do. So for our medical debt, we actually we've got a high deductible insurance plan. So we've got an HSA that I've got that set up to wipe that out in a year to where, you know, that doesn't hang around. So that's automatically off the top. And then we've got my wife's car loan that we pay about $2,500 a month on it.

Holy crap. What kind of car is it? We're taking some chunks at this. Whoa, you're paying extra. You're paying extra. Oh, okay. Payment's only $500. Okay, okay. We're paying about $2,500. Okay.

But I think we've got more in the budget. But, you know, we just, once we get to the end of the month to make an extra payment, it's not there. And it's just super frustrating. Yeah. I mean, it's because you're living like you're making $190 and spending everything. So let's just look at this. What's the smallest debt that you have? That'd be the student loans.

We've got three of them for the Sallie Mae loans, but they totaled up 4500 bucks. Okay, so instead of focusing on the $12,000 car loan, focus on the student loan. Yeah, and go ahead and just get that knocked out. What's the payment? What's the minimum payment on the student loan right now? The three of them together? If they're all bunched? And that's the bad deal is y'all know they're in full variance. So we haven't even been paying on them. We've been

just chunking at her car loan. And I know that's not what baby step two is for that, because they don't tend to be. Here's the point I'm trying to make. If you stay with us, if you stay with us and you work this plan, you guys cut, first of all, you need to stop eating out like no more. Like you guys got to stop. You got to get everybody on board. Eat turkey sandwiches at night.

Get do eggs and bacon for dinner. I mean, like you can do cheap meals, right? No more. You guys gotta stop. You gotta get everybody on board. Eat turkey sandwiches at night. Do eggs and bacon for dinner. I mean, you can do cheap meals for a season. It's not forever. You're an accountant. Your issue is not the numbers. The issue is the behavior. And if you guys try it for one month and go,

you know what, we're all in. We're not gonna eat out one time at all just to see how much money you can save extra. And the point is we knock out the student loans, then we knock out the car pay, and all of a sudden you've got more margin than you realize. Here's the, I know you're discouraged, but you've got more margin in that budget than you realize. But you've got to change your spending habits. And if you do that, and if we can get some extra income, we sell some stuff in this debt snowball, whatever we got, we can find margin pretty quickly. As detailed as you are, grasping the numbers,

you and your wife have got to sit down and go, if we do this, and then we do this, and we do this like crazy for the next six, 12 months, here's how much progress we'll make. And then all of a sudden you go, oh, this is doable. I think you're just discouraged right now. And Preston, with, I'll add on that for Ken, because this is always helpful for me.

Whenever we're doing a big goal, so whether for you it's getting out of debt or it's saving up for something, look at the timeframe. Run the numbers like what we're saying, and just know and say, okay, we are confident, it's July right now, so we are confident by dang Christmas, we're gonna do it from now till Christmas, it's just, it's go time or whatever the date is,

but have that date because that gives you the light at the end of the tunnel that you're not going to like live in this world forever and ever. Amen. You can actually enjoy what you're working, but you're not enjoying your money now because again, I think so much of it is this debt. And so much of it is that lifestyle because once you guys pay this off,

do you have any savings at All Preston? Do you guys have cash in the bank? Yeah, we have some, but not enough to cover any of it. How much? We've got our emergency fund, just the starter emergency fund. Okay, so you got $1,000. That's where you're at. Can you sell your wife's car? We're running out of time, but I mean, you got to look at everything, man. Selling cars, everything, you know? You got to reduce your monthly payments and increase your income. So for you, my friend, I know you're an accountant, but there's a lot of gig work right now for

accountants. I'd be working 60, 80 hours a week doing accounting work because you can get paid very well for freelance work. Income goes up, expenses go down. You guys get knocked out quick. Like get after it. And then you'll see some breathing room and then you realize, okay, we can stay the course. Thanks for the call.

You'll get there, Preston. This is The Ramsey Show. Between Christmas shopping and holiday get-togethers, investing might be the last thing on your mind. But there are certain things you might need to take care of before the year ends, and you don't have to do it alone. The SmartVestor program can connect you with a financial advisor near you. Whether you've got questions about retirement planning, required distributions, or anything in between, a SmartVestor Pro will walk you through what you need to know.

Head to ramsysolutions.com slash SmartVestor to get connected. Ramsey Solutions is a paid, non-client promoter of participating pros. Learn more at ramsysolutions.com slash SmartVestor. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Thrilled to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me. As we are here taking your calls, 888-825-5225. We're talking about your life, whether that's your money

situation, your work situation. We are here to help today. Let's go to Ogden, Utah. Connor is there. Connor, how can we help? Yeah, thank you for taking my call. So my wife and I are about ready to move out of our home. We have a little daughter and we're out growing it. So I've been looking at our options and because my parents are so generous and we've been so blessed, they told us about a week ago that they're going to be giving all their kids an inheritance early so they could watch and spend it. And the inheritance is about $300,000. Wow. Yeah. And so that opens up a lot of options for us.

We have been kind of weighing in our heads. And one of the things is that our current home is in a college town and we've been thinking about maybe just paying that off with a hundred thousand or 115,000 is what we owe on it still. Um, and then renting it out and then using the other 200,000 as a down payment to our next house, which would get us a comfortable house payment. Um, but the other option is we thought maybe we would just sell this house now and take the 200,000 in equity and put it towards our next down payment along with 300,000 or whatever to basically buy our next house in cash and

not have a house payment. So we're just trying to figure out between those two options, what would you, maybe there's another option that I'm not thinking about either that you can fill me in on. Um, no, not off, not off the top of my head of what you guys want to do. I mean, I think this is a really smart move and I think a beautiful way to honor your parents and the legacy and the inheritance that they're giving you. I'm sure they would appreciate seeing this versus taking 18 trips around the world or something. I don't know, there's something about it that's like, oh, there's like a stability, it's an investment. Which way are you leaning?

And all that. I'm curious to know, are you two leaning the same way? One of you leaning one way, one leaning the other. My wife is leaning a little bit towards the renting. And I'm kind of honestly in the middle. I could see it either way. I like the idea of having that extra stream of income coming in every single month. But there's also that feeling of just not having any debt at all with our next home. And just being pretty clear.

Connor, do y'all wanna be landlords? Like the idea of an investment property sounds like, oh, that sounds great. And yes, there's passive income and I come from a real estate family. My husband loves real estate. So like, I get it. But because And yes, there's passive income and I come from a real estate family. My husband loves real estate. It's like, I get it. But because of that, I also know all of the work

that goes in. And then you said college town, that I'm sure you can find the great group of college students to rent it out, but you're also renting it out to college students. So, or possibly you could obviously not do that. But I mean, the landlord thing, that's not just a, oh yeah, that's cool and fun. I mean up kind of being a part-time job and if you're working full-time

I'll be honest if it may land into your wife's lap of her having to go and fix this the sink breaks and they you know Like it's it's a it's a thing too. So I just want you guys to keep in mind So it is a great a great way to have I mean passive income but if I were you I would just be free and clear. And then if you guys wanna save up cause you won't have a mortgage, if you just sold it and then paid cash for your primary residence. Yeah, I mean, that's phenomenal.

Then you could save up a lot. And if you guys chose to go into real estate investing, then you could and start small, maybe even a different location. Yeah, so fun little exercise. How much do you think you could get per month for that house in the college town if you paid it off with some of this inheritance? How much? $1350, about what the rent would be. Okay, so again, you know, what's that going to end up being? $18,000, $19,000, $20,000? I'm not really great at math, but somewhere in that range, right?

$15,000, $16,000, something like that. So you have to sit there with your wife and go, okay, here's the income that this would spit off, but that doesn't include the expenses that Rachel was touching on. It's not going to just be that. It's not going to be free and clear $15,000 to $18,000. You're going to have to replace carpet in three years. You're going to probably repaint the wall.

I mean, it's just, yeah, it's a thing. I learned that one from George. I was with George. George Campbell threw that at a caller the other day. I was like, that's a really good exercise. Because it's like, is it worth? Is it worth all the work? Let's just call it net, just for easy numbers, $14,000 a year.

You're going to have expenses. You're just going to. And you got all of this for $14,000 a year. You're going to have expenses. You're just going to. And you got all of this for 14 grand. And to Rachel's point, like what's the trade off on like a huge down payment or buying a house cash, you know, in this point in your marriage. So I'd get rid of the house too. I really would. It's just a, but I mean, you got to sit out with your wife and cast a vision on that. Yeah. And there's not, I don't think there's a wrong answer

here. That's correct. Because something, because one of them's gonna be paid off. If you were gonna still have debt on it and debt on a primary residence, I would tell you to get rid of it, hands down. But for it being paid off, there's not, yeah, it's not right or wrong. It's just truly where you guys wanna put your time

and your effort. You know, if it's my dad or my husband, they're probably gonna keep it, because they love real estate. And they're like, no, it is worth it because it's part of what they love. But to me, I'm like, whew. And a college, oh man,

I just remember that I'm renting a house in college. Oh man, Winston lived with like six guys in a rental house. And it was so- It's disgusting, I'm already disgusted. It was terrible. Oh yeah, block parties and games and all that kind of stuff. We were good renters though, my group of friends.

We were very clean. We took care of that house. I was an old soul. Yeah, well. In the college days. I think you're still an old soul. Not as old as me though, apparently. Not quite north of the border.

Like, genius. Melissa's up in Chatt me though, apparently. Not quite north of the border, right? Ken, yes. Melissa's up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Don't get me started on Chattanooga. Melissa, how can we help? Hi Rachel. Hi Ken. It is a pleasure to speak with you today. I'm so grateful.

I'm in a situation now. I have a possible fork in my career path and I'm hoping you can kind of help me unpack it a little bit. Sure. So what's going on? I had my quarterly check in with my supervisor today. Now, kind of a backstory, we work for a big company who has two retail locations. I work for the smaller of the two and it's quite a bit smaller. And I manage, I oversee it, and I have three teammates who work for me. And so we've been working really, really hard for a few years now,

even through COVID and all of that, on expanding, growing, providing more service for people. And we're at the point where the company, the building that we rent, we're having a, possibly having our lease being bought out by somebody else who shares the building. Now we're not in a position where we can rent a new location. We've got a really sweet deal at this building. So what it sounds like I've got probably a 60 or 75% chance that we are going to

close my location and we're going to be absorbed into the bigger location. My teammates will blend just fine. The thing that we run into is my position. My director is super awesome, super supportive, and really thinks that there is a path of progression for me to take her position as she plans to exit the company in the next two to three years. I am not so confident, but I'm also kind of interested.

I think maybe it would be a huge leap from assistant manager to director, but I'm just not sure what I want to think right now. Right. So what would be... It's a lot. I get it. So what would the interim look like? So if they shut this down, the smaller location where you're

in a manager position, and then you go to the bigger location, you're underneath that director, what role are you in? Are you making the same amount of money? And we just started discussing that it would be a new role created for me, sort of a GM in training, along with whatever else so I actually get a legit paycheck with a legit job at the other location while I'm training and helping helping the business grow but also learning the role of the road manager, being to be a director over there. If you knew that the path was two to three years, it was guaranteed you were going to

replace her, would you be on the phone with us? I'm pretty sure it could happen. I'm just not sure if it's the right choice for me. That's what I'm asking. If that makes sense. So yeah, okay. So you're not sure if that's the long-term play for you. And I love that. So how soon is a decision gonna be made

where you're gonna have to choose? I got about 30 seconds, so give me the quick answer. We're looking at probably end of year, we'll know what's gonna happen with the leaf. All right, so here's what I would do. And then I have to decide if I'm staying or going. All right, so here's what I would do. I would spend time right now thinking about

your long-term future, knowing that you have a safe option to at least take this for the interim while you still figure this out. Okay, so I just want you to breathe, stay with the company until you figure it out long-term. Hang on the line, let's get you an assessment, the Get Clear Career Assessment. I'll give that to you, a link and a code. I want you to take that as you consider long-term what your options are, but I'm glad you're stable right now. Thank you for the call. This is the Randy Show. A new year is here, and everyone's started making

their list of I wants for the year. I wanna get out of debt, I want to lose weight, I wanna make more money, but that's where most people stop. The problem is, without a a plan those are just wishes. Most of us set goals with the best of intentions but have zero follow-through. Real goals require a plan. That's why if you want to see real change with your money this year, you've got to get on a budget. With our Every Dollar Budgeting app you'll make a plan for your money and get your spending under control so you actually make progress towards your goals this year.

Don't just wish for things to change with your money. Download Every Dollar for free and start budgeting today. Hey, Dave Ramsey here. Dr. John DeLoney and I are coming to a city near you on the Money and Relationships Tour. You the audience will vote to choose the topics we talk about. Things that impact your life like investing in your future, money, stress and marriage and more. We're coming to Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Kansas City, Fort Worth and Phoenix in April and May 2025. Tickets are at their lowest price right now. Grab yours at ramsysolutions.com

slash tour. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman joined by Rachel Cruz. Thrilled you are with us. The phone number to jump in is triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple eight eight two five five two two five. Levi joins us next in Reno, Nevada. Levi, how can we help? How are you all doing today? Well, we're having a blast, Levi. What's up? Well, I wanted to say thank you first off. I started listening to you guys about six months ago and it's really made an impact. Awesome. I can actually just started binging yours, looking to change careers soon, but I I have to do with my questions. So I've never been married and I've got a girl who I want to propose to.

Where does that fall on the baby steps as far as buying a ring and how much should someone spend? I just finished paying off all my debt last week. Wow! Congratulations! How much did you pay off? It was about, I'd say about twenty thousand in six months. Nice Levi, congratulations. That's impressive. What's your emergency fund going to be? Three or six months? Four months? Five months? And how much will that be? Right now it could be very little. I'm in a unique situation where I don't have rent, which is how I paid everything off so quick.

Awesome. But which rent in this area? $20,000 would be a good one. Okay. All right. How much are you thinking on the ring? We have Rachel here, which I feel like is an expert on this. When it comes to jewelry, she's the expert in the room.

Now, I think our rule of thumb is one month's salary is what we would recommend. And where does that fall as far as should I be focusing on giving you that emergency fund before spending $3,000? It'd be nice to have some, but also I'm like, we don't tell people to stop the baby steps to get married and to do all this. So if you can do both at the same time, save some money for the emergency fund and then be saving on the side too for the ring.

How long have you been dating her? It would be ideal. I've been with her for two and a half years. We actually lived together and her elderly parents, who did not know anything about Ramsey, lived with us. Oh boy, that was a loaded chuckle. That was a loaded chuckle. What does that mean? They had no money saved up. One of them actually needs to be in a nursing home. All right. Now we can't afford it. So in all seriousness now I'm assuming that she's gonna say yes, right? You feel pretty confident we're gonna get a

yes out of this. Okay. Is there expectations for the parents that you've y'all to continue to live together and for you all to have to take care of them, that's pretty heavy burden. Yes, they have the package deal. She's from Guam. It's just kind of their culture. Got it. And you're all in on this? Yes. Okay. All right. That's great. Yeah, so Levi, to answer your question, I would just, I would do both, but... Well, now that I know what I know, Rachel, I'm going to tell him to wait. Get the emergency fund fully funded. They're living together. I mean, what, are we going to wait a couple more months? I'd wait and get the emergency fund. Well, I'm like, you're basically married. You're playing married. So I want you married as soon as possible. Oh, I see what you're doing there.

Yeah, I'd go quicker. I would say... All right. Save it up. Go... I mean, you're doing there. Yeah, I'd go quicker. I would say all right save it up go I mean you got like a flush line in the budget. Yep. Yep, and just put some money aside Yes, well you guys want a wedding or you guys kind of low-key with it and no big deal I'm definitely low-key She will want some kind of ceremony. Okay, I've never been married she has been okay So the ceremony is important, but yes She will want some kind of ceremony. Okay. I've never been married. She has been. Okay. So the ceremony is important, but yeah, so you guys are inexpensive. Yep.

That's great. So it'd be cash flowing that as well. Um, and then once you guys get married, combining your incomes and all of this, and if you have anything left to build up the emergency funds, uh, do that, but I would, I would, um, yeah, I'd get married as soon as I would, I would get married. Yeah. You guys know, do you know know where you're gonna get registered?

He has no idea what I just had. Do you even know what that means? I don't. Oh, that's so great. I knew it. Well, she can explain it to you. That's where engaged couples, they go and they put their gifts together. I know, you old man. Levi? I just think that's funny. You can't get registered? You do can? I think it's funny because Levi is so naive.

And I think that that's really great. He doesn't understand about all the stuff he's about ready to get into. They're older, we got married young so the registering was really exciting. The younger you are I feel like the more exciting that stuff is. I just thought it was funny. I didn't, I didn't, brought no redeeming value at all.

I agree. Let's go to David in Fredericksburg, Virginia. David, how can we help? Yeah, I wanted your take on a reverse mortgage. I'll be turning 65 next year and getting tired of construction work. Wondering if I could go part-time and use a reverse mortgage so that I can stay at the house that we had built for a few years longer.

No, David. No, we do not recommend reverse mortgages because it does exactly what it says. It puts you back in reverse. You guys are progressing, paying off your house and building this equity and you're going to start back over and so it's it is a product that is marketed to 60 plus, you know whenever you look at any even even seriously, no, it's true. It's seriously David Because it is it's doing exactly what you are thinking it's like, oh that's kind of nice I can pull back from work, all of that. And that, it's not the way to go

because you're gonna be losing equity in it. And it's not smart, not smart at all. So what, David, you said you're 64? I'll be 65 in January. Okay, okay. And how much you guys have left on the mortgage? We've got left on it about 180, and it's valued at almost 500.

Oh, nice. Do you guys have any other debt? Oh yeah, yeah, we've had the land forever. We got about 20,000 in debt, but we keep paying off and going on vacation and running back up and then paying it off. Okay, David. I've been listening to you guys, it's been a good send.

Good, how much do you guys make a year? We make about sixty five thousand a year sixty five. Okay Is it all credit card debt? Yes, well Yeah, yes it is credit card debt because here's the thing too David is it and I might be that might be high on the credit Card debt. It's's the thing too, David. And that might be high on the credit card debt. It's probably more like about $10,000. OK.

Well. What's the other debt of the 20? What else do you owe? Maybe some medical and the wife. We've been budgeting quite well. And so it's something that we've learned over the years to try and keep a control on that spending beast. Okay, and David, do you guys have anything in retirement?

About 30, $40,000. Okay. I've got some property that I'll be selling. Okay. I've had it for years. And all means I'll start selling some of my heavy equipment that I've got that haven't been using. Okay, so if you sell the land, liquidate property, or liquidate the machines, everything, how

much do you think you'll come out? Probably close to $300,000. Oh, okay. Nice. Because I'm just thinking of your retirement and you guys long term, because I know you probably want to pull back from working for sure. Um, but these, the habits that you guys have been in David, like you said, like, well, we go on vacation,

we pay some stuff off, we go back all this, this reverse mortgage, it's going to just magnify the bad habits that you guys have created. So it's not going to be good for you in any sense. It's not a great, it's a terrible situation in general. But also when you guys are not, you're not being disciplined in it. And so I would, if I were you and your wife, I would sit down and really map out a plan and say,

okay, we are 65 years old, we owe 180 still in the mortgage, you got $30,000 in retirement, $20,000 in debt. And it's time to really start cleaning this up, David. I mean, honestly, be paying off this debt as quickly as possible. You guys need some savings in the bank for an emergency fund.

And then we're gonna start piling on retirement and whether that means selling the land early to get some money in. But I wanna be able to map out, I want you to be able to map out a plan to get you to retirement and reversing the mortgage doesn't do that. It gets you back into a horrible situation. You're not progressing forward when you do that.

Yeah, great advice there. And hey, you still got time and you got some assets that you're gonna be able to get a windfall of cash. So really dive into the baby steps, really walk it out. Hey David, hold on the line. Austin's going to pick up and give you guys a free trial at the Financial Peace University. I want you and your wife to go through it. That'll do it for this hour of The Ramsey Show. Thank you so much for being with us. What up, what up? It's Dr. John Delaney from The Dr. John Delaney Show with some amazing

news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90 day journey to transform their lives and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way. Okay, now here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey? So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember.

How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life? What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. All right, so you ready to jump in? I'm ready to jump in. We're gonna check in with Kelsey. 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. I cannot even function because I'm just crying.

My mom left us when I was four. I truly felt like for a while I had no family. She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy. He triggers me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough. It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey. It is.

Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not OK. How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show. One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off. How is this... How is this burdened?

A burden, that's right. To the one person who should carry it, all of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault? I don't know what to do. You either have to choose to let this guy love you, or you gotta choose to let this guy go.