The Ramsey Show - Don’t Let Your Financial Mistakes Define You

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

📱Finish today's episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: "We owe the IRS $600,000," "How do I surprise my wife if we combine bank accounts?" "I feel guilty for ever going in to debt," "Should I sell my truck to pay off debt and buy a ring?" Support Our Sponsors: Zander Insurance: Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282 for a fast and easy quote today. NetSuite: Free KPI checklist, visit netsuite.com/Ramsey  MamaBear Legal Forms: mamabearlegalforms.com and use promo code RAMSEY to save 20% Next Steps 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! 💸Enter The Ramsey Cash Giveaway for a chance to win $10,000! 📚 Shop the $12 Sale to get life-changing tools to help you make real progress! 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! 🏠 How to Buy a Home Course Listen to more from Ramsey Network 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, Ph.D. in counseling, does the Dr. John Deloney Show, where he talks to you about your relationships, your life, and he's here to help me today. He's the co-host, number one best-selling author, and we're glad he's with us. You know, I always have a good time. See, he'll get you one way, I'll get you the other, so you ain't got a chance of getting away today. That's the way it is. Phone number is 888-825-5225. Hannah is with us.

Hannah is in Denver, Colorado. Hi, Hannah. Welcome to in Denver, Colorado. Hi, Hannah. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Thanks for taking my call. Sorry, I'm super nervous right now. It's okay. We haven't lost a patient in years.

How can we help? Well, here's our situation. My husband and I, we owe the IRS and the state over $600,000 in debt. Good Lord. How did that happen? Yes. You know, it's overwhelming to even think about how it happened. Just not paying our taxes, and my husband is self-employed. For how many years? Quite a few. I'm actually not even sure on the date how far back it goes. So you finally started filing, and then you end up with trying to stay out of jail because not filing is criminal, and so you go and file,

and now they give you the total, and it's like, oh, my gosh. Yep. Wow. Obviously, you don't have $600,000 or you wouldn't have called me. No, that's right. And we are current on our taxes right now. Good. We were working with a tax resolution company who eventually just told us,

after, you know, you have to pay them. After you gave them $10,000, they did nothing. Yeah. Yeah, they told us. Yeah, there them $10,000, they did nothing. Yeah. Yeah. They told us. Yeah, there's helpfulism. Anyway, negative. Okay. Yeah.

I'm sorry. So what is your house worth? We have about $400,000 in equity. In equity? Yes, and there's a lien against it. From the IRS or somebody else? Yes the irs okay good and um what is your household income um 244 000 after taxes that's good news okay yeah so the tax resolution company that we were working with after everything was said and done they basically said um filing Chapter 13 would be in your best interest.

They are not credible because they shouldn't have taken your $10,000 because you are not a candidate for an OIS, an offer in compromise, an OIC. And they took your money telling you, and I can tell you in 30 seconds you're not eligible for that. An offer in compromise is only available to people who don't have any ability to pay. money telling you, and I can tell you in 30 seconds, you're not eligible for that. Yep. An offering compromise is only available to people who don't have any ability to pay. You have tremendous ability to pay between your equity and your income. So the IRS would look at that in about 13 seconds and say denied. So those people just stole $10,000 of your money.

So they're not credible. A Chapter 13 will put you on a payment plan. You probably can get a good tax attorney and just get on a payment plan. Okay. You need to get somebody that's a pro, an attorney that works on taxes, that's legitimate, that's not just selling OICs. One percent of the people that apply for an OIC, by the way, folks, these things you see on commercials on television. Have you got a tax problem?

Call 1-800-TAX-R-US. We have professional IRS agents, former IRS agents to help you. That's the ad she answered, okay? And it's an OIC, an offering compromise. In order to qualify for that, you have to basically be completely zero net worth and almost no income ability. So 1% of them go through folks so that those things are scams now that's not to pick on you hannah you just got taken advantage of i'm sorry and you're scared to death so but a good attorney that has a tax practice i have an attorney on on

retainer that represents us on tax issues and i have a cpa firm that represents us on tax issues, and I have a CPA firm that represents us on tax issues. Not because of this kind of issue, but because right now the bozos owe me a bunch of money that they haven't paid me back on a refile we did. So I'm having to fight with them, and I have to have some professional counsel to do that. That's what you need is somebody that's several hundred dollars an hour to retain, and they will tell you, and they will call and represent you and work with the IRS and get a system in place. A Chapter 13 is a series of 60 payments over five years, obviously, one a month,

and it does not reduce the tax bill, and it does not reduce the interest with the IRS. You're going to pay the whole stinking thing anyway. So if you can negotiate that without bankrupting which you can you would be better off and i think you can do it faster than that okay here's a sensitive question you ready for a hard one yeah have you all talked about the fact that not paying your taxes has cost you your home yet? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Yep. So if I'm you, I want the IRS out of my life worse than almost anything if I'm you. Yep. And I'd sell that house and put $400,000 on it. Now you make $200,000 and you owe $200,000. And you can plow through that in a couple years. Okay. You have your life back in two years.

Okay. So we don't have to file for bankruptcy. You're not bankrupt. You're not bankrupt. Because they've already done about all they're going to do. They slapped a lien on the house. They may come after some bank accounts or something, too, because this is such a large amount but they won't if you're in active negotiations with them

for a payment plan through an attorney they're they're they they they have a sense of decorum about them they can but i've never seen them do it in 35 years of doing what i do go after somebody that's in the middle of a negotiation with a good tax attorney. Okay? Now, do you know how to find one? Because I'm not positive I know how to tell you, other than if you're doing business at that size, you probably have some people in the legal community you're already working with.

Call them and say, who's the best tax attorney in town that's very smart and a little mean? Okay. That's what you need. Okay. They'll what you need. Okay. And they'll put you up. So if you start making $8,000 a month payments and you throw $400,000 at this, you'll be done in two years. You understand? Yes.

And you'll get your life back. How long have you been living in this terror? It's been a while. What's a while? It's been about four or five years yeah it needs to be over done and yes it's emotionally it's emotionally not sustainable it's trauma isn't it no it's very draining yeah yeah i know i owed them a whole 38 000 when i went bankrupt in my 20s and it felt the same way you feel because they have so

much power all the other creditors i could put a noose around them and deal with them with the bankruptcy i went through but uh student loans and irs and child support and alimony are not bankruptable they you can put them in a 13 but a chapter 7 to wipe them clean is what you got to do there and you're not going to do that either. It doesn't work. So yeah, you can get through this, but this lack of, uh, business excellence, lack of diligence on,

I'll blame your husband on both of you for not getting your taxes filed. It costs you your house and you can look back and go, man, I learned a tough lesson. You'll get you another house someday. You make several hundred thousand a year. And John, I did the whole segment and you didn't say a peep. Hey, there's sometimes I just need to be quiet and listen and learn, man. That's heartbreaking.

Wow. But hey, she's got a path. She has a path. She has a path. It's called hope. That's right. And do it because you've been living in the crap so long. You're going crazy if you don't. That's right. You got to get clear of it. This is The Ramsey Show. Okay, here's the hard truth. Your investment dollars could be winding up in the pockets of companies that hold positions you don't agree with. People are unknowingly putting money into tech giants and household brands that don't match up with their core values. But here's good news. Timothy Plan is at the forefront of biblically responsible investing. That means Timothy Plan uses a strategy that lets investors chase competitive returns while staying rock solid in their beliefs. So if you're ready to invest with a clean conscience, it's time to check out Timothy Plan.

Request information at TimothyPlan.com to learn more or contact your financial advisor today to see if Timothy Plan is right for you. TimothyPlan.com. Investing includes risk, including possible loss of principal. Before investing, carefully consider a fund's investment objective, risk, charges, and expenses contained in the prospectus or summary prospectus available at TimothyPlan.com. Read carefully before investing. Mutual funds distributed by Timothy Partners LTD and ETFs distributed by Forsyth Fund Services LLC. Well, you've almost missed it. It's almost sold out. We're going on the live like no one else cruise in March. And if you don't get signed up pretty quick you're not going it's all the ramsey personalities plus stephen curtis chapman emmy award winning recently

inducted into the grand old opry 67 dove awards he'll be with us hanging out uh manit shohan from the food channel will be with us hanging out uh deanna carter will be with us as well country music star remember the song strawberry wine yeah she'll be with us as well. Country music star. Remember the song Strawberry Wine? She'll be with us. A bunch of other celebrities, but the Ramsey people and those folks will be doing all the shows and all the talks and all the things on the boat.

Including our pastors coming and doing a devotional running, Reverend. We'll have a devotional on there as well. Got a Reverend sitting in the audience out here. I was referring to him but uh the um so come on we'd love to have you we're going to be at turks and caicos saint thomas puerto rico the bahamas uh this is the uh ultimate big time cruise this is not uh the cheap stuff uh this is more of the expensive stuff and you should not come on this cruise unless you're baby step four and beyond.

If you're still getting out of debt and building your emergency fund, you're not supposed to be going on vacation. That includes with us. We're not hypocrites. There'll be plenty of time for you to do something else or the next one with us. So the cabins are almost gone. You can secure a cabin with a $600 deposit at RamseySolutions.com slash cruise. You can do the payment later. No, that's not dead.

It's reserving the cabin, standard stuff in the cruise world. And so get over there and get it done. This is going to be a lot of fun. We're going to be on there all week, all of us all week. My wife, Sharon, and I, we're going to be hanging out with you guys. So we're looking forward to it. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'll be trapped on the boat with you. I mean, we'll to it it's going to be a lot of fun um i'll be

trapped on the boat with you i mean we'll be together the whole week i'm kidding hey this is my first cruise ever you've never even been on my wife's first cruise is it oh wow you have wow this is it man we're we're taking our first cruise together with the whole and the whole boat the whole ship is going to be full of ramsey people. I'm telling you, man. You're going to go. Go with the cult. Go. That's the plan. I'm going with that.

And the cult leader. Mason is in Houston, Texas. Hey, Mason, what's up? Hey, guys. Good afternoon. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help?

All right. So I'm recently engaged, and I'm in baby step four, five, and six. Congratulations. When are you getting married? Next year we're gonna plan it so it's not stressed cool uh so my question is once we're married hold on it's still gonna be stressful brother it'll still be we're gonna plan it so you have the theory you won't be stressed okay that's right all right i'll interrupt you go ahead all right so my question is once we're married and we combine our finances how do we surprise each other with gifts if we're both reviewing the bank statements uh you're both reviewing the bank statements you're both reviewing

the budget and the budget categories and we promise to stick to those so we have to have a category called surprise and and or sharon and i have just a miscellaneous his and her category just pocket money so to speak okay and you used to call it blow money and somebody said on the internet that it was for cocaine that wasn't what i meant so it's blow money it's his and her pocket money right and so um but you know um and two i'll just uh it depends on the person and so forth but um i've been married 42 years and i have discovered sharon doesn't really like surprises so um we go pick out what she wants me to buy her i love it and that works a lot better anyway so I have one time came home with a car for her Christmas present and hid it in the garage.

And it did not have the desired effect. So I paid cash for it. And but it's still she would have picked a slightly different car and kind of took the kind of took the buzz off of me giving my wife a car. But I wish there'd been a YouTube recording of that. She was sweet, but just a little passive-aggressive. David, why'd you get blue? David, if I had been. Anyway, that may not be the case, Mason, with your lady.

She may love surprises. But also, the older you get, the more you think alike, the more you're going to be able to figure that out. So you can have, for smaller things like flowers or whatever, you know, you can do that. The only problem is if she's seeing the debit card stuff pop up, she may see that pop up. Yeah, yeah, that's what I was trying to avoid. And you can move it to a cash transaction then, meaning you cash out your pocket money and keep it in your pocket. I generally got $1,000 in my pocket. Okay, my pocket okay yeah i understand all right then we're on the same

page i'm happy i cleared that up yeah very cool good for you and hang on we're going to give you a copy of the total money makeover as a uh pre-marriage planning gift and help you guys start to work on the whole system together john how do you all do surprises? Yeah, I don't think there's a greater surprise than buying something out of my blow money, out of my cocaine fund, as they say on the internet. But yeah, I like... I mean, if you're going to get something expensive, you usually can't get that. Yeah, I mean, we've been married for way too long. So yeah, I'm not gonna surprise

somebody with a car or anything uh back in the day i remember buying a car on payments like back in the day i did that too and i thought i was so i bought her a car i wanted that time that was like a like a kid buying his mother a tonka truck for christmas yeah yeah but yeah and also um we don't uh we have set days that we go through stuff and and so we're not checking that sucker 24-7. So I can buy flowers, and she's not going to check it every five minutes. That's true. Okay. She's not super detailed on it.

I mean, we sit down on Sunday nights and go through it, or Saturday mornings. By then, the flowers have already been delivered. There you go. That's good. Patricia is in Chicago. Hi, Patricia. How are you? I'm fine, Dave.

Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? I've listened to your program for years. I'm in this situation mostly because my parents have both passed and I inherited some money within the last couple of years. So I'm in a situation now where I'm trying to decide if I should pay off the house. I'm 70 years old.

Um, I have approximately 160,000 in a, an Edward Jones account and I have in a checking slash savings in my bank right now, just because I haven't decided what I'm going to do. Approximately $115,000. I have a monthly income of about $5,900, which is a combination of a full security and a pension check. My monthly expenses are about $4,200. Do you have any other nest egg? Those two numbers you gave me, do you have any other nest egg? You have any other nest egg? Those two numbers you gave me, do you have any other nest egg? I have probably some money in some silver. Okay, but nothing big. Nothing big.

Okay. No, nothing big. What's the balance on your mortgage? $141,000. Okay. And the reason is, well, you don't need to know the reason. I had a business with an ex-husband, and when we separated, I had to take over part of a laundromat business.

Okay. And do you own that still? No, I got all that's gone. There's all the rental and all the laundromats gone. Everything's gone but the pain. Everything's gone but the pain. Okay. Yeah, it was pain, too.

Well, the $141,000, yeah. Okay. going with the pain okay yeah it was pain too i would well the 141 000 yeah okay um well here's what's running through my head okay okay i love to have you go into your final few decades with no debt because of the peace it gives you because of the stability it gives your financial situation and um and you're you know you're in a situation where your rent's not going to go up but even then you'd have zero and you that would put up if you had no payment that would free up a lot of money in your monthly situation agreed it would free up about 688. I just looked it up. I found out how much is principal, how much is interest, and how much is tax. How much is tax and insurance. Okay, so you could probably invest $1,000 a month going forward if you didn't have a house payment.

Yes, that's my thought, too. Okay, so in eight years, you would have $141,000 in an account if you did that. Wow. Okay. You're good at your math, Dave. Done it before. So you get with a financial advisor, a SmartVestor Pro at RamseySolutions.com. If you'll commit to doing that, I would pay it off.

It scares me in your situation because it doesn't leave you with a lot of money, but you've got a good monthly situation. You've got a good head on your shoulders. You know where everything's going. And I'm real comfortable with you in this because I don't think you're going to overspend and need the other 150,000 bucks that's left after you pay this off. So I would pay it off if you commit to $1,000 a month paying to yourself. Pay yourself. This is The Ramsey Show. I've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I've taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I going to pay my bills in the on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to

admit that someday you're not going to be here. You got to say it out loud and you got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinking pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282 or go to zander.com. Dr. John Deloney, PhD in counseling, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, my co-host today. If you didn't know, you can drop by and watch us do the show Monday through Friday from 1 to 4 Central Time. It's on the glass, and it's free, and so is the free coffee, and so is the homemade cookies. So when you come into our lobby, it smells like Mama's Kitchen instead of corporate America,

and we'd love to have you do that. Also on the glass here is where we put the debt-free stage where people do a debt-free scream, and John and Megan are on it, and that can mean only one thing. Hey, guys, how are you? Great. How are you? Doing great. Good, good. Welcome. Where do you all live?

West Palm Beach, Florida. Very nice. Well, welcome to Nashville. How much debt have you paid off? $97,868.64. Love it. How long did that that take 10 months and seven days 10 months wow what'd you sell uh i have a great wife saved i saved for a long time and then um we really got serious on our first wedding anniversary and so i swiped oh so you had some you had a big old pile of money to throw at it how much did you have in savings um maybe about 30 30k I gave it a jump

start yeah good jump and what's your household income during this 10 months I started at like 107,000 and got up to 115 so good what do y'all do for a living I'm a pediatric occupational therapist okay I'm a bookkeeper all right very good very good thus he knows everything to the penny yes he does notice that quickly yes okay very good so you've been married a year almost two and what was the thing that happened at the one year mark and you went okay we're gonna have to address this um we we kind of followed ramsey separately and we were ramsey-ish kind of doing this stuff and then on our one year anniversary we're like okay we're just ready let's knock it all out and it was get rid of our student loans yeah the student loans coming back was was that year

the interest was going to come back so we were like this has to get gone i wish they were gone but they're not so i gotta have to have to do something. Yep. So how much of the 98,000 was student loans? All of it. Oh, it was all student loans. Okay. Oh. Yeah.

These things aren't going away unless we make them go away. It was a realization. Yeah. A hundred percent. Okay. Hey, good for you guys for riding that federal promise as long as you did, man. You got right up to the edge of the cliff and it's like, oh, going over the edge yeah good for you guys all right so just mechanically did you just have 30,000 bucks squirreled away somewhere that he didn't know about no he knew about it I was it

would have been way cooler if you're like all right I got a secret to tell you no um i my dad force fed us the ramsey podcast on every family trip road trip so i was just i'm a natural saver so that helped so you're a financial peace baby um for sure she she kind of is yeah yeah yeah even though you didn't do it you you grew up with yeah that's the point and john how how did you how did you find this this crazy crew? My sister did FPU in college at Palm Beach Atlantic down there. And she told me about it. And I remember just being, that's weird. Isn't life just dead until you're dead? You die?

Dead until dead. But then she kind of talked about that a little bit. And then I made the mistake of going out and buying a car in the heat of a relationship issue with my ex-girlfriend at the time. And, you know, after buying that car, I was so, like, I don't know, caught up in what's going to happen in the future. And so I actually emailed your show years ago or, you know, Ramsey years ago, just completely down about my future. And, you know, they encouraged me. They messaged me back. And then within, I had a seven-year loan.

Within two years, I paid that car off. Wow. So we didn't yell at him. Nope. And you don't still have that car, do you? No, I still have it. I still have it. He paid for it.

I paid it off. I know, but Megan wants that car gone. Megan wants that car gone. Yeah, she's still driving her 2007 toyota camry so okay we're now that we're out of that now we have a new goal yeah okay good good for y'all yeah so what did that one year of intense or 10 months and seven days of intensity look like um it was a lot of intentionality a lot of looking at the budget keeping up on track with it and not being afraid to say no like no we can't do that vacation we're not going to go out to eat um we want to go line

dancing but the cover's 20 bucks so we're going to get there two hours early so we can avoid the cover charge but we'll still hang out a lot of her telling me no to eating that that was the big thing yeah eating out no eating out because i mean y'all threw approximately five six thousand bucks a month at this yeah and you weren't making a lot more than that so you were on beans and rice yeah and and because i mean that's even after throwing the 30 at it you still had 60 to go and you did it in 10 months that's a great photo of them just sitting there eating beans and rice what. That's our one year wedding anniversary. What an anniversary, right? What was it like rolling into your new occupational therapy job in an 07 Camry

when your buddies know what you make? Or you're a bookkeeper. They're like, man, isn't that your old ex-girlfriend's car? Why are you still driving that car? What's it like, just the human component? Because people look at you where you work like, man, what are you still driving that car? What's it like, just the human component? Because people look at you where you work like, man, what are you doing? I think it was just not being afraid to say, this is our situation. This is our reality.

And we're just really intentional with our money. And it's been encouraging and kind of sharing bits and pieces like with co-workers and with friends who are like wait what what are you doing why are you doing that um and kind of opening up the door to you know your debt they do give you the german shepherd look yeah cock the head sideways how old are you guys uh 28 almost 29 in two days and then I'm 31 31 you don't know anybody anything in the whole wide world nope how's that feel great feels great that that first month where the bank account went up and then it stayed up was was wild the weirdest thing that math yeah I love it way to go y'all so I'm sure mom and dad were cheering you on. Yes. Who else was cheerleaders? So my parents, his parents, and our church small group put up with our same prayer request

for 10 months. Yep. Restaurant coupons. Lord, we want restaurant coupons. Yes, yes. Way to go, y'all. Very good. I'm proud of you.

Thank you. You got to feel like accomplished, right? Yes, yeah. And we're excited. We're going to coordinate our first financial peace class at our church starting next month. So it's kind of a fun little ending. So which car are we going to replace first with savings? Oh, well, that's also the issue.

We got a rental car up here and she started driving and she's like, oh, this is nice. Maybe I should upgrade by 2007. Probably hers. Probably mine. The technology has changed in the last century yep yep you don't have to hook a horse to this you all don't know this yet but life is gonna come at y'all yeah and hard things will happen you'll get tough phone calls you'll like it like life's hard and y'all have built a foundation and you're one of your marriage that you don't even realize how thick that concrete is on that foundation really good and when it comes y'all are going to know we can do anything yeah we paid off 100 grand in 10 months because that's who we are and we can come like we'll join forces and and it's us against the world and that's so awesome i'm proud of you guys thank you

spreadsheets help like that that was that was a big thing for me being a bookkeeper i looked at a spreadsheet we had a chart on our wall a visual representation i saw every single day so i mean just knocking that out that made us realize oh man are we ever going to do this to oh it's going to take like 14 months actually might be like 10 actually you know you know it's so it whittles it down once you're focused and you you see it and you're well when you get a sense of traction it it um motivates you to cut deeper yeah because i want that traction more than i want that thing or that experience or whatever it was i was getting ready to spend money on the traction

means more to me than that and when you do a good visual representation like that and you do you're tracking it and you're right and you're both on the same page it's like you know you know i saw a bumper sticker said nothing tastes as good as it feels to be thin you know that kind of thing i beg to differ but anyway but yeah way to go you guys congratulations we're very proud of you john and megan west palm beach florida,000 paid off in 10 months and 7 days. Making $107,000 to $115,000 and throwing $30,000 of savings at it. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! That's how it's done baby well done this is the ramsey show what does the future hold for business ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers economic growth or a recession business taxes will go up or down. AI will help us work or it will replace us all. But there's no such thing as a crystal ball. That's why more than 40,000 businesses have future-proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud enterprise resource

planning system. Ramsey Solutions uses NetSuite and you should too. Whether your company's earning millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you respond to immediate challenges and seize your biggest opportunities. With one unified business management suite, there's only one source of truth for the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. NetSuite's real-time insights and forecasting help you see into the future with actionable data. And when you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can spend less time looking backward and more time focusing on what's next. And speaking of what's next, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com slash Ramsey. It's free at netsuite.com slash Ramsey.

Today's question of the day is brought to you by YRefi. If you're in over your head with private student loans and you're tired of getting calls from collection agencies, you need Y-Refi. They refinance defaulted private student loans that other places won't touch, give you a low fixed rate loan that's built customized to you. So go to Y-Refi.com slash Ramsey today. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-i.com slash Ramsey today. That's the letter Y R E F Y.com slash Ramsey might not be in all States. All right. Today's question comes from Carly in Nevada. Carly writes, I'm 30 years old. And my goal for this year was to save money for my first house. After finding everything you teach recently, I understand now that I can't buy a house with so much debt.

I'm on baby step two and I've already paid off my three credit cards. During this process, I find myself feeling guilty and stupid for all the stupid mistakes I've made and how I put myself in this position. My dream was to have my own house by 30 and here I am stuck with a bunch of stupid credit card debt and really nothing to show for it other than an overpriced car that I shouldn't have bought in the first place. I'm very disappointed at myself. And to be honest, this guilt is eating me alive. How do I get past this? Ooh, good question. Dave, I think we have a culture that tries to duct tape and wallpaper and Xanax and Netflix away

guilt. And I think guilt can sometimes be a good thing. I think it can let us know, Hey, we made a mistake. The challenge is when guilt becomes that shame. And the way I would teach this is guilt is you picking up a brick or somebody handing it to you and saying, you shouldn't have done what you did. And that's right. Um, I did something dumb. Shame is when you take that brick and you put it in a backpack and you decide to carry it everywhere and you say, I am dumb. And so, Carly, I think it's okay to say, man, I had this goal and I didn't even know how bad off things were. And now, what's a house get you? It gets you peace.

It gets you a place to always always live a place you can close the door and say this is mine it gives you safety and security well now you're working towards that goal and so you don't have the house at 30 but you are on the path towards safety and security and so i want you to hold that guilt hold that brick and then set it down and go to the next right thing and the next right thing is to pay off this credit card debt and let these memories remind you anytime it comes up like i want to buy this car let's go on this vacation i can't afford you're going to remember this feeling and then we're going to go do the next right thing and you're going to be a homeowner in the next few years and so just keep on this path but i think guilt can

be a good thing sometimes and then we have to decide what's the next right move dave what do you think i think that's exactly right all all the inordinately okay successful people that i know that have a fabulous marriage a fabulous ministry a fabulous business there there's someone you would look up to and you'd say that person's successful, all of them are colossal failures. They have failed their way into it. I mean, the number of missed shots that Michael Jordan has taken is much greater than the number of hit shots. Babe Ruth only hit in the 300s, which means that 7 out of 10 times at bat,

he got out, he didn't get on. You know, I mean, so 70% failure rate on you know i mean so 70 failure rate you know and yet was the king of swat right so the uh i mean those are kind of metaphors or motivational speeches but it is you know so failure is guilt to me failure is i did something dumb it hurt it left a mark i don't want to do it again okay uh shame is i am a failure and that's all ever be so i'm just going to sit here i'm just i am a failure i'm a disaster i'm a horrible person and um you know i'll never be anything else and people in my family people from the neighborhood that i come from people the race that i am the sex that i am they can never get ahead and you embody this failure and you name it you right and that that's what you don't do um so i am a person who filed bankruptcy and lost everything i had a million

dollar net worth prior to that starting from from nothing, bootstrapped it, lost it all by the time I was 28 years old. I had a brand new baby named Rachel, was born in April. I filed bankruptcy in September. I was definitely a failure as a father to provide a household for my children and my wife to live in. I was a failure as a businessman, no question about it. I failed those things. The end of the story is I didn't continue to fail them, the children or the wealth building or anything else. I learned from it, and I said, okay, God, I was stupid,

and stupid hurts. It leaves a mark, you know? But I've never met anybody that was successful that didn't have those marks. No one is just like dropped into a little bottle and come out of your little test tube unscathed with no scars. And we call you a success.

There is no such thing. Right. In fact, there's, there's a lot of folks that, that I work with and say, I don't trust people without scars. Yeah. Larry Crabb, you say, I don't trust a man doesn't walk with a limp. You have never gotten a ring. And Dave, I want to call out something else

that Carly experienced, because this is relatively common. Sometimes people don't find the Ramsey plan until they're 30. And they've been going along, just doing what everybody told them to do. Yeah. And it can be unmooring,

because the person you lose trust in the most, you lose trust in the system, you lose trust trust in yourself and it makes you doubt every next right decision how do i know what the truth is that's right because i just built a credit score like you told me i took student loans out like you told me and i bought a car on a loan because you told me i can't trust anything or anybody anymore you know what you you know when you're in that situation and you've lost that confidence what you haven't lost confidence in is your spirit. Your spirit, God's spirit in you, the Holy Spirit will say, when you bump into the truth, you feel it. It's in your guts, yeah.

You feel it. It feels different. It feels it has a peace to it, peace that passes understanding. There's a peace when you bump into the truth when you bump into a line it's frenetic and crazy and chaotic and running around and dog chasing its tail and 515 kites in the wind bumping into each other and you're like oh yeah let's go do that yeah oh that one always leaves a mark you know and so you knew you knew but you went forward anyway you know and so the trick carly's is i uh the guilt shouldn't eat you alive

that means you're moving over towards shame and self-identifying with this instead i would say you know what i did something really stupid and i don't do that anymore i don't do that anymore that's your new identity i'm better than that yeah so i was playing golf with a guy in the pga the other day um not this week but about six or eight months ago. And, you know, he shoots around 200 par. He's, you know, 65 years old. He's a retired PGA guy. He's a serious, serious world class.

And I hear him muttering to himself. People cuss themselves on a golf course. They talk to themselves like nobody should be allowed to talk to themselves, right? It's the worst self-talk I've ever seen in my life on a golf course. Like they talk to themselves. Like nobody should be allowed to talk to themselves. Right. It's the worst self-talk I've ever seen in my life on a golf course. And this guy is muttering to himself and I start listening and I'm like, what are you saying? And he said,

well, you noticed I missed that shot. And, um, and I said, well, what'd you say? And he said,

I said to myself, um, you don't usually miss that shot you're better than that instead of like you suck you're horrible you miss everything you know that's what most people do on the golf course right instead and he goes and then you know he'll drop a birdie or an eagle while i'm standing there and he'll go yeah that's what i usually do and it's just the opposite and he said if you know you just you're telling yourself what who you are and your body responds man that's powerful yes it's powerful and i thought you

know what i and i i you know it's easy to get frustrated doing something you're trying to learn and it's just you go no i don't usually do that i don't usually i don't usually hit it over there i usually hit over here i'll notice the time that um you and i played golf uh you i you didn't say that what you yelled but you thought that i could see it i didn't i didn't say a thing i was trying to be real quiet no when you ducked out of the way when that ball well the happy gilmore swing where you run at the ball is um i'm not great at golf and then then there's somebody's child in another county got killed it was um yeah but anyway i didn't know you couldn't tee it up on the fairway yeah well we told you and um there you go you should go fishing everything we do with johnson adventure

fishing instead yeah that's it yeah and well. Everything gets wet, so it's either way. Hey, man, I did hit that ball hard off the clubhouse. You did. You bounced it off the ceiling of the clubhouse. I didn't mean to do that. Off the roof of the clubhouse. The guys inside came out and looked at me. I'm usually not embarrassed.

I was embarrassed about that shot. Ah, yeah, I was too. I didn't even hit it. Hey, folks, don't talk to yourself like you wouldn't allow somebody else to talk to you. Amen. Quit talking to my friend so-and-so that way. I hear John say that all the time. Quit talking to you that way.

This is The Ramsey Show. Do you ever feel like you're finally making progress towards your goals only to get quickly distracted by something else in your feed? Well, that's why we created the Ramsey Network app, your single source for content that keeps you motivated. The Ramsey Network app is designed to keep you laser focused on reaching your goals. Loaded with over 7,000 hours of Ramsey shows, this free app is the best place for uninterrupted content and no distractions. Plus, you can search specific questions to get more personalized content in seconds. So for the days you need some extra motivation, you'll have proven advice at your

fingertips. It's time to get serious about your goals and shut out the distractions for good. Simply search Ramsey Network in the App Store or Google Play. If you're listening on a podcast, just click the link in the show notes to download our free Ramsey Network app today. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, PhD in Counseling, Ramsey Personality. Number one best-selling author is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. The call is free and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. John's in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Hey, John, how are you?

I'm good. How are you, Dave? Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? All right. So I gross about $50,000 a year and the only debt I have is about $2,000 in credit card debt. I've got a truck that I have paid off. It's worth from $8,000 to $12,000. That's from Kelley Blue Book. if I should sell that truck and pay off my credit card debt and also pay for an engagement ring in cash. Wow.

You got it bad. I know. You are in love. A guy from Mississippi just told me he's selling his truck for a girl. Are you all right, man? I lost out one part. So I work for a pole mill. I'm a forester.

And they pay for a truck for me to use, and I can use it for whatever I want. So that's why I'm thinking about paying for her personal truck. He's like, hey, guys, I don't love her that much slow down slow down i'm not gonna be without a truck guys it's okay oh you're great thank you for letting us poke at your brother we're proud for you man that's cool okay so um it's a truck it it changes it does change the story so that's good extra information it changes the story because the truck you don't need yeah and that kind of makes it a no-brainer if it was your daily driver and you needed something to get to work uh i might tell you to roll up your sleeves take a side hustle and do whatever and and plow your way through the saving for the ring and the knocking out the little credit card debt.

But you can knock it out in one fell swoop. Now, the trick is this. When the truck sells, all your problems are gone. Credit card's gone, ring's bought, right? Yeah. So it's kind of like you instantly got your butt out of the trap with no pain or little pain except truckless. Yeah. Be careful that you don't go back to your old habits make sure that the guy in your mirror says i'm chopping up all these credit cards we're

having a plastic to me a plastic surgery party no more plastic no more debt We're not borrowing money for anything ever again. Last time I did that, it cost me my truck. Yeah. You got to get that message in your head, okay? Because a lot of people, if they get out too quick, they just keep doing the same stupid butt stuff, and they go right back in debt. Yeah.

And you don't want to be that guy. No, no. So how long have you been dating her? Oh, it'll be a year and a month hmm how much is the ring gonna be about six thousand nice ring it's a lot of ring man yeah you think cut back on the ring dave tell me one month one month's pay is generally my angle you're a little over that not too bad dave tell me one month my there's no correlation between size of ring and length of marriage except possibly an inverse correlation the larger the ring the less likely the marriage is to last uh not exactly but uh it's the only possible there's no there's no research on it actually

but there's uh lots of stories of 70-year marriages 60-year marriages 50-year marriages with a a little tiny chip of a something but yeah you somewhere four five six you'd be okay i wouldn't go over that that That's your max. And, Dave, I like the idea of putting three or four thousand bucks in an account in case this work. His boss calls and says, hey, you can't drive my truck on the weekend. I have enough to do all three. Yeah. You start baby step three building your emergency fund. Don't burn all this money, man.

Yeah, don't go spending the rest of it. Well, I've got about 5 000 in my savings now and then i've also got about 5 000 in a raw okay separate from my 401k so okay good good well don't you know you don't touch the 401k or the roth but you take the 5 000 the proceeds from the truck what they're left over after the ring and the credit card's gone, and you build your Baby Step 3 emergency fund. Okay? Yeah. So, well, good for you.

Congratulations. Thank you. We'll give you an engagement gift. It's called the Total Money Makeover Book, and it'll show you guys how to navigate your way through these baby steps. And as long as you are willing to sacrifice for this woman the rest of your life the way you are right now, you probably got a shot, my brother. And I want to tell everybody out there who's wondering if this person's the one for me. I want you to remember back to the Mississippi guy who sold his truck for love.

If it's less than that, you need to move on. Yeah. Yeah. Usually, some of them that call us, it's the other way around. It almost always is the other way around it almost always is the other way around i don't see love like this i'm kind of getting choked up dave this is mississauga he's i mean the only other thing that would be more if you're from the south like we are and you sell your truck for a girl it's a big deal my goodness that's a big deal yeah i mean some

of you yankees don't understand this but um you sold your bus pass and your Tesla, same thing. Yes, if you're from California, you sell your Tesla. That's it. I guess. I don't know. Look, Dave's all choked up, man. Dave, you don't have to cry. It's okay.

They're in love, man. I got a head cold. All right. Kyle's with us in Hartford, Connecticut. Hey, Kyle, what's up? Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call us in Hartford, Connecticut. Hey, Kyle, what's up? Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Actually from Brooklyn, Connecticut. I thought he was asking close to the city. I don't consider this a city. That's fine.

So my daughter just turned 12 yesterday. We had the talk about saving for her first car because that's what I had to do as a kid. I don't believe in giving your kids cars. It doesn't teach them any responsibility or money management. She also got baptized a couple, a week ago. Wonderful. That has nothing to do with money or anything, but she did end up getting some cards with some money in it, which obviously has nothing to do with being baptized, but she got that and some money in it okay good which obviously that has nothing to do with um being

baptized but she got that and your little girl's becoming a woman that's awesome man oh yeah what a great thing for you as a dad here's what we did at the ramsey house we did 401 dave and what i did was match so if you put zero in the account you're gonna get you a bicycle right because i'm gonna match precisely zero but if you take that money for some of that money from those cards instead of blowing it at the mall or wherever it is 12 year olds blow money nowadays um i don't guess people go to the mall anymore but anyway when our kids it was the mall and so where you put that money in there you put ten dollars in there it you put $10 in there, it becomes $20 because I'm going to match it. Very good idea. It was a good incentive plan, and it also kept me in the conversation with them all the time,

including I got to guide them through the purchase. And that was an interesting experience. I will tell you this for your parents listening out there. Put a limit on this idea. You might have one little character that's a bookkeeper and saves 30 grand, and he's looking for a $60,000 car. Now, don't do that. This is The Ramsey Show.

Hey, guys. George Campbell here. As a new dad, I see a lot of things in a new light. The cost of diapers, the value of sleep, and how crucial it is to have a will. Because if something happens to me, I don't want my family stressing about the details. And that's why I recommend making a will with Mama Bear Legal Forms. A will gives you peace of mind knowing things will be taken care of the way you want, instead of a random probate judge deciding who gets your fine china or precious moments collection. Looking at you, Aunt Shirley. If you think you're too busy, you don't have enough time, no excuses here.

I completed my will in just 20 minutes with their easy online process. Plus, if something comes up, you can make changes to your will for free for up to six months until you're completely satisfied. And listen, there's a lot of online will companies out there, but what's great about Mama Bear is that there's no membership, no subscription, no upselling. The price is the price. And if you love a good deal like me, go to mamabearlegalforms.com right now and save 20% with promo code Ramsey. That's mamabearlegalforms.com promo code Ramsey. I know you work hard for your money. And the key to keeping more of it in your

pocket is by making a plan for your spending with a budget. And EveryDollar is the budgeting app that I use personally because it's perfect for looking every dollar you make in its little president face and telling it exactly where you want it to go. Just like you told that guy in traffic exactly where you wanted him to go. And even better, EveryDollar walks you through the entire budgeting journey so you always know your next right step. Download EveryDollar for free in the App Store or Google Play today. Many years ago, we were doing an event in San Antonio, and one of the guys called and said, you know, Max Licato is in San Antonio. I said, yeah, God, if I could get to meet Max Licato. And Max and Steve Green met me at a little restaurant down there,

down by the Alamo. Steakhouse, I remember. I've still got the picture. That's got to be 20-plus years ago, Max. At least. That we've been friends. At least. It's great to see you, Dave.

Probably about 40 million books ago for you. He sold over 100 million Max Licato books. That's pretty crazy. Wow. My wife bought most of them. That's pretty crazy. Wow. My wife bought most of them. My wife bought most of them. My mom's got a whole Max Licato shelf. I've got a Max Licato shelf, and most of mine are signed.

I'm just telling you. I'm a big dog here. The new book is What Happens Next? A Traveler's Guide Through the End of This Age. Man, the end of the age is popping up everywhere. People are talking about it right now. You think so? It's kind of in the air.

I've run into several people lately. And people doing books on their witness. So Henry Cloud just did a book on his personal testimony. Willie Robertson just did a book on his personal testimony. Okay, I knew about that one. Goss Speller. And those guys are friends as well. And so there's a lot going on here.

So end of the age doesn't feel like a natural Max Licato topic. What brought this up? Well, thank you again for letting me on the program. Always. It's great to see you. Anytime you're in time. It really is. The guy who drove me to the airport the other day i said tell me your life

story and he said have you ever heard of dave ramsey i said you're kidding me i'll be with him in just a few days he said well thank him because and he told me then about 10 minutes worth of testimony there dave of how he is completely debt free except for his mortgage yeah i said well hang in there you'll get that one done. So thanks for all you've done for so many. Yeah, you too, brother. Yeah. So, Dave, you and I are both getting older.

One of the things I've noticed as I get older, I'm assuming you're getting older too. I don't know. My body, that's not my spirit. I am so curious about the next life. I'm just fascinated with it. It's like it just- As it gets closer.

As it gets closer and the clock is ticking and the sand is dropping through the hourglass, I think, what's it going to be like? So that began about five years ago. And then I began seeing more and more chaos and confusion in the world. And I thought, is there something happening in this day and age that's confusion in the world and i thought is there is there something happening in this day and age that's unique to our day and age and went on a personal study and

and then it they've turned into a series of sermons for the book and uh here it is it's just coming out right now what happens next yeah so the book uh the bible gives a lot of prophecy in the old testament uh certainly revelations in the new testament or the revelation uh with john written on the island of patmos um how do you line that up in a modern world so you can actually try to figure out, okay, what is coming next? Yeah. Well, first of all, I think we point out that this world we're in right now is in a pandemic of anxiety. It's just people are stressed out. And there are so many things that contribute to this, as the two of you know so well. But one of them is that people do not know what is going to happen after they die. Or they do not know if all the events that we're watching in the world are leading us into or signals or signs of the end times. I think one of the great way to deal with the anxiety of the world is to help people understand that this life is brief, but the next life is great.

They just get excited about it. And so that was part of my motivation in this. And this book follows a timeline. I start in the book of Genesis, end up in the book of Revelation. So it's the whole Bible and what the Bible provides in terms of a specific timeline of events that will happen before we finally enter what we can

call our eternal state or the new heaven and the new earth. And I'll just say I am so energized by what I read, so encouraged and excited. I hope people can get on this excitement train with me because it's something to be thrilled about. Book is What Happens Next? A Traveler's Guide Through the End of this Age with New York Times bestselling author Max Lakato. Sounds like it is an absolute must read. I've not gotten through it yet. I just got it.

It just came out. You sent me my copy. Comes out two days ago, I think, officially. Tomorrow's street date. Yes, sir. Okay. All right. Cool. I think officially tomorrow street day. Yes, sir. Okay. All right, cool. So, um, you and I, and John was in a Christian college for a while as a Dean of students.

And, uh, we've all three seen some wacky stuff around the rapture and people not living this life well in the name of the rapture. You know what I'm talking about? Absolutely. Like I get people, I don't need life insurance. I'm going to be raptured. Yeah. Yeah. Well, your wife mighture you know what i'm talking about absolutely like i get people i don't need life insurance i'm gonna be raptured yeah yeah well your wife might you know and so uh i mean it's

just i get into this kind of stuff so are you are you uh this fear of the rapture or this promise of it and somehow they think they figured out it's a certain date yeah in times is the serengeti of theological topics it It's the wild and woolly. It attracts the crazies, and it stirs up the anxiety. And so it has been the camping ground of pastoral malpractice forever. Great word. Wow. Great word.

You should write. Wow. So you acknowledge that, yeah. But then again, the Bible is about 30% prophecy, much of which has been completed, much of which is yet to be fulfilled. So if you want to understand God's message, of course, study the Gospels.

Of course, study the doctrines of the Apostle Paul and John and Peter. But don't miss out on the end times. Don't be intimidated by it. Allow yourself, and you owe it to yourself to get excited about what's about to happen. And I do think that though there are a variety of opinions, Christians can gather around the bodily return of Christ, the promise, the assurance of salvation for the saved, and the ultimate judgment of those who reject Christ. Now, in the book, I go into more detail. I talk about the rapture,

about the tribulation, about our wedding in heaven, about being rewarded in heaven, about the millennium, about the return of Christ. I just follow that sequence, that timeline that I believe the Bible provides us. But whether you agree or not with my timeline, let's get excited about what's about to happen because it's going to be wonderful. I can't wait to dig. I know exactly what I'm going to get through that. That's this week because I leave Sunday for two weeks in Turkey.

We're visiting the seven churches of Revelation. Perfect. And a study on the site. Oh, that'll be ideal. It's a great little small group of us going and I've got a good oh that'll be uh that'll be ideal it's a great little small group of us going and i've got a good teacher going with us it's gonna be a lot of fun um so what do you say to the person that's not familiar with the bible maybe they're not a person of faith and people start talking about the end times sounds kind of like hokey

pokey like you know jerry jenkins and left behind it was gave us a picture of everything but also got made fun of a lot by people that weren't of faith. Yeah. Two or three things on that. Number one, our God is a God of great interventions, interruptions. I mean, the great stories of the Bible are stories of God doing what nobody ever imagined that God would do. Open the Red Sea, manna from heaven, Elijah calling fire down. Most of all, God becoming a baby and living on earth and dying for our sin, raising from the grave. And so these miraculous interventions are the nature of our faith. And so Scripture anticipates more of those.

And so it's part of what we believe, that God does extraordinary things. And consequently, things like the rapture and the tribulation fit in that genre, not the common day-to-day experiences, but these mighty interventions of God. And then secondly, I would say to the person, down deep in your gut, you know this world's not working. It's not working. It stinks. I mean, there's so much violence, much heartbreak, so much heartache. And yet from the very beginning in the book of Genesis, God promised a paradise in which men and women, men and women would get along, would get along with God, get along with

nature. And though Adam and Eve didn't keep their part, God always keeps his part. And that's going to happen. It's going to happen. MaxLicato.com. The book is available August 13th. That would be tomorrow for most of you that are listening live. And you can purchase it anywhere great books are sold. And yet another bestseller, I'm sure. What Happens Next? A Traveler's Guide Through the End of this Age. I can promise you 100% of what he writes, I will pick up and read. We've been friends a long time, but he's also one of the most grace-filled, thoughtful men on the planet that's writing on the subject of Christianity today. So I love it.

Thank you, my friend. Thank you, Dave. Great to see you both. We love you. Give your wife a hug for us. And same to your family. Be good. Max Licato.

This is the Ramsey Show. Hey, guys. Dave Ramsey here, and I got a big announcement. I'm coming to a city near you live on the Money and Relationships Tour with Dr. John Deloney. This is the most interactive event we've ever done. You get to decide what we talk about. You do not want to miss this. We'll be coming to Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth, and Kansas City in April and May of 2025.

Get your tickets and more information at RamseySolutions.com slash tour. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Andrew and Kimberly are with us on the Debt Free Stage. Hey, guys, how are you? Doing great, Dave. Welcome. Where do y'all live? Hammond, Wisconsin. It's near the Twin Cities in Minnesota. Gotcha. Okay, the Minneapolis marketplace.

Yes. All right, cool. Welcome. Good to have you. And how much debt have y'all paid off? $172,000. All right. How long did that take? Four and a half years. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? We started at $140,000 and we ended at $280,000 last year. Whoa, that's kind of nice. What do y'all do for a living? I'm a construction manager for GC. And then I manage my family's You pick an agritourism berry farm and also sell seed as well. Oh, wow. Good for you. Okay, cool. What caused this jump in income?

He had a really good year. And I've been climbing up as well. Okay, so promotions and a bumper crop. Yes, definitely. I'm married up. Oh, that's always the case. But you sell seeds from your place? We also, I go to farmer's stores and sell seed to them as well. Corn and soybeans. Yep, corn and soybeans. Okay, but you got like with the current rise in preppers, you got to be crushing with the home seeds, right? Oh, we don't do that.

Oh, okay. That's completely different. I mean, most of our, with our egg tourism business, it's strawberries, raspberries, pumpkins, corn, maize. All those fun activities. All of you pick business. Yep. Flowers right now.

So they'll come to us. They're just wanting to come in and get organic. Amazing. Good for you guys. That's very good stuff. And it's real stuff. Yeah. Yes.

Good for you guys. Way to go. Cool. What kind of debt was the 172? It was our house. Yeah. Wow. Look at that.

Weird people. How old are you two weirdos? I'm 34 and Kim is 33. Way to go. I like how he paused. How old are you two weirdos? I'm 34 and Kim is 33. Way to go. I like how he paused like, are you going to say it? Well, I never know how old I am. So he knows more than me usually. Well played, man.

I love it. So what's this house worth? About 330. And you own it and you're 33 years old. Y'all are so whacked. I love this. Yeah, we're excited. Yes.

Way to go. It's exciting, but our journey's not over yet. We're hoping to build someday, so still have some big goals in front of us. Cool. Cool. Well, you'll be able to do it after you did this goal. That's a lot. 172 in four years.

Yep, and we had a little bit of a pause in there. We bought our house in 2019, and then we saved up for an adoption. So we adopted in 2022. Oh, wow. So we had a little bit of a pause as we were saving up for that and then hit it really hard in the last year very good good for y'all that's not a little pause you brought a human home that's amazing yes that's a nice one that's a good pause i like it yeah so what happened five years ago they kind of put you on this because what you

did is very different you know that we call you weirdos and that's a compliment around here for sure it's not a it's not derision but uh so what what got you started on this different track from most people yeah well it was actually 10 years ago yep we uh met at college down at uw madison um and we were dating and i suggested to her that we go through financial peace together um when we're just dating very seriously. And so from a really early start in our relationship, we kind of got on the same page in finances. This is our second round of paying off debt after working through the baby steps. You know, baby steps, she'll know the numbers. 56,000 back then. Yep. We had a truck and then both of our student loans that we paid off in the first round and then began saving up for the house.

Now you get to baby step six and pay off the house. Yep. Exactly. Perfect. Yep. We're going to be selling our 10 year anniversary in about a week. So yeah, about a little more 10 year journey together. Now from 23 to 33, pretty impressive.

Nice climb. Well done. How much in your nest egg in your 401ks and Roth IRAs? About 850. so your baby steps millionaires too oh no i'm sorry that includes the house sorry net worth is net worth 850 okay so you're almost maybe almost probably about 18 or 24 months yeah so by the time you're 35 you will be good way to go way to go very impressive i'm just thinking of the guts it took as a 23-year-old to look at the woman you loved and said,

Let's go to FPU. Will you take FPU with me? She needed 48 hours to think it through. That's awesome. Yeah, I jumped right in. He was definitely the saver, though. So I was like, oh, does this mean I can't spend? But afterwards, we were always on the same page.

I know how to work the budget to let me spend, and he knows how to just save. So we're a good, happy medium. What was your biggest obstacle in paying your house off? Probably just stopping for the adoption. That was super hard to just want to pay that in cash and having to save up all of that money as you're only paying minimums on the mortgage

and seeing how long it might take if we had to stay on that track. But as soon as we were done and Luca was home and final finalized it just skyrocketed as we went past that so definitely hard to take that baby or the break and the baby steps but totally worth it a break in the baby steps for a baby sounds fair definitely where's luca from uh honduras okay very good very good good for you guys well done what do you tell people the key to paying off your house by the time you're 33 is i'd say for us it's being on the same page as first um pre-marriage counseling for you yeah basically it was yep we've coordinated three times um thank you you know the financial peace university and that's definitely helped us

as much as the people who've gone through it, if not more, just keep us on the same page and get me refreshed back into it. You know, Kim's very much in the budget. It's sometimes a little struggle for me to make that a priority.

But, you know, I'm always on the same page, usually financially. It's just a matter of like taking the time to get into the details. Can I just get a weird question? Of course. This is in no way to disparage anyone who's ever been on the debt-free stage.

Y'all two seem like you genuinely like each other. And I don't mean like y'all are just like in love. What's the secret? Y'all look like y'all are friends. And it's emanating through this glass here that y'all genuinely like each other. Yeah. He supports me a bunch, especially even this year. My's kind of crazy so he is behind me 100 yeah it's been been a really good year but it's also been a really busy for a year and we've got um amazing parents and all of them have helped

out there in their own way um it's been a huge part of it to to help us along um can ask for better support from our family and friends and dave i love that i asked him that question and they both spoke of somebody else speaking to them neither of them said well i and both of them are you just seem like humble kind lovely wonderful people and i'm just smiling ear to ear i'm so grateful for you thank you thank you but i also want to share like it's our lives aren't perfect. Of course not. Yeah. The adoption journey was a lot for us.

Oh, it's a lot. You know, you're seeing the highlight reel, something we're sharing now, but it's been 10 years of working through challenges day to day. And, you know, it's crazy when it kind of happened. It was like a surprise almost, like how fast it came up. But it was a long journey. Yeah, we were planning for 2030, and then we were planning for 2026. And then it was 2024, and we're like, whoa, we're done.

Right here. Here it is. Yeah. Here it is. Now you're in a great position that when life throws you a new curveball, man, you're on a foundation that's going to hold. It's so beautiful, man. Congratulations. Thank you.

So it occurs to me that if anybody didn't think you were doing something right it wouldn't have bothered you at all no so even if you had naysayers it was like yeah i travel for work and they're all gives you a vote they're all you should have a delta credit card and no thanks i don't need to go into the lounge so yep i hear you but we're good we're good being over here doing what we want to do i don't know how many people when we we used to live in iowa and had amazing renters that we rented house from and and just treated us like their own grandkids and uh how many people said you should buy a house you should buy a house you should buy a house and we waited until it was like good timing for us and even beyond that a little bit um and made sure we were really financially set for that

changes everything a huge thing that i just have to share is like don't give into the pressure of, you know, what everybody else is saying and do what fits your family the best. People who have successful lives are very careful about who they give a vote to. Not very many people. Yeah, not many. If anybody, but not many for sure.

Bless that two of them are talking to us right now. I'm a really big john fan dave you're pretty cool too me too there you go i'm a big john fan congratulations y'all we're very proud of y'all all right bring the kiddos up let's introduce them with their names and ages how old is mr luca he is 18 months oh luca go baby i love it and how old is the princess and what's her name she is pe Peyton, and she's seven. All right. She's a big seven.

Way to go, big Peyton. Good stuff. All right. Andrew, Kimberly, Peyton, and Luca, $172,000 paid off, 33 years old with a paid-for house, did it in four and a half years, making $140,000 to $280,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do it. I love it. This is The Ramsey Show. All right, let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey Trusted Agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling. They're someone you can trust to have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey-trusted agent near you

at ramseysolutions.com slash agent. ramseysolutions.com slash agent. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Sometimes you can be sitting right next to someone but feel a thousand miles apart. We created Questions for humans conversation cards as a tool to help you connect on a deeper level with the people you love dr john's idea he created almost every one of them some of the team jumped in and helped him and these things have blown up millions of dollars of these have been sold uh helping people start a conversation

questions for humans conversation cards so we've got them for couples for parents and parents and kids and for friends and for friends right and for the month of august they're only 12 a set at ramsey solutions.com uh going on in the sale john um when y'all first came and told me you were doing this i thought well that's cute and it has turned out you have really touched the nerve of people don't know how to sit down because these stupid cell phones they don't they have lost the art of having a conversation person to person yeah and and they need a tool to help them that's it and i think it's easy to blame people and the next best thing or the thing better than blaming is to say okay here's a tool yeah and here you go man we'll help you with it and we realize there's a problem

and it's a really sad situation actually and yet this has been a lot of fun a lot of humor around it people are giggling yeah uh we get them out and use them sometimes in a meeting around here and you know some of the answers are hilarious and you get people it's almost like an icebreaker yeah and my favorite thing is i can get in the car and my wife says hey will you take our daughter somewhere with can you take her to the hardware store with you i know that just tripled the time it's going to take me to get to the hardware store and i get that sunday afternoon dad that heaviness and my daughter can feel it, and she'll just grab these out of the glove box and say, hey, dad, I'm going to ask a question.

And I drop my shoulders, and she asks a question, and we laugh, and I ask one back, and it ends up being a way that we can come back together. It's just cool, man. I just love it. Get off the task and onto the relationship. Onto the most important stuff. That's right. Yeah, exactly.

Questions for human cards. On sale right now ramsey solutions.com in the store for 12 bucks and uh get you several different sets i've got them for everything couples dating parents and kids i pulled out i pull out a friend question dad what's dad dave what's one song or album that makes you super nostalgic. Hmm. Hmm. You know, I have that experience pretty regularly just on the 70s channel. Yeah.

You know, and one of the things I like on that, it'll pop up on XM or even if I'm on Spotify, it'll pop up and show the year that song came out. And I go, God, you know, when,

when he did time in a bottle, I was 12. Cause I remember being deeply in love that's right when crochet did time in a bottle really i was 12 because i felt like i was 22 but i wasn't it was 1972 you know i love that because it helps you do that sharon i'll be riding along and we'll say we were 14 and didn't know each other when that came out yeah and there was some crush in middle school or something that's tied to that so that happens all through the 70s stuff yeah for sure especially the mid you know mid 70s stuff or even the early that played in the mid yeah that kind of thing right so that was our teenage years so yeah that's cool that's fun that does That does do that, though, for sure. Open phones here at 888-825-5225.

Amanda is in Knoxville. Hi, Amanda. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and Dr. John. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? My husband and I had about $91,000 in debt, and I'm looking at starting a side business,

a freelance grant running for nonprofits, and wanted to know what are some things to keep in mind when I start the side hustle, and how do I go about finding clients? Have you, it sounds like something you found on the internet actually i have i have done it as part of my business before on the on the um public side you've done the grant writing side yeah yeah i haven't done it you know okay so well anytime we're doing marketing we do what we call a persona of what the customer looks like. So who needs grants written typically? What does this customer look like? In my area, it's a lot of animal shelters and United Way has a lot of grants

and nonprofit side that they do. There's a lot of various. Can I throw? In Upper East Tennessee, there's a lot of various. Can I throw up? In Upper East Tennessee, there's a lot of various nonprofits in the area. Can I throw you another one that would be even bigger where you are right now? Sure.

The lifeblood of a research university professor is grants. And the thing that I didn't learn how to do through two different PhDs was how to write and secure a grant. So if you were to advertise at the local university, and you're right next to a monster school there in Knoxville, if you were to advertise, I assist with grant writing services, you may have more work than you know what to do with.

Yeah, jump on some of the grad uh grad facebook pages or in post-grad work but coffee shops put up signs yeah anything you can do to get a hold of a phd candidate um or even a phd a new professor a young professor is trying to get tenure um and if you can help them write them and even uh secure them them you have a gold mine at your fingertips there the non-profits what you're looking for there is a mid-range non-profit a super small primitive poorly run non-profit will not get the grant even if you write it for them the super big ones like a united way they do their own they don't need you okay but somebody um you know a school trying to get computers a uh that kind of thing you'll get that but the big non-profits you're looking for something kind of in the middle something's

established and they're good at running their non they're good at fundraising in general but they want to supplement their budget with some new grants and they're already raising you know one to ten million a year uh that's a good size but if you get something like united way where you're talking about hundreds of millions they don't need you okay so you're shopping among ministries primarily. School principals. Yeah, school principals, especially private schools, hospice, anything like that. And you're just going to get out there and put the word out. And what will happen is as you fish in these different ponds that we're giving you, you catch a couple fish in each pond. They'll spread the word to the rest of that pond, and you'll end up with one that really starts being a gold mine, one of the areas. We don't know which one it is yet.

And another one that's like number two, another one that's like number three, and then the other one won't be worth fooling with. And it might be the one you thought was going to be good, but that's what you do. And Amanda, when it comes to getting new clients, there is no substitute for activity. I want you to get rejected a lot. I don't want you to get rejected in your mind and do nothing and sit and be paralyzed by the prospect of being rejected. I want you to really get turned down a lot. Like if you get turned down a hundred to 200 times in the next 12 months, you'll make a really good living during that 12 months. And you'll learn a lot about who needs your service and who doesn't and how to customize it and tinker with it to get it there. But the thing that someone that doesn't come from

a marketing background needs to get used to is the sign of success in your world is massive amounts of failure. Massive amounts of rejection equals you get to do this or you don't. If you go talk to four people and four people turn you down and you quit, you didn't understand what I just said. Yeah, I've seen people be successful not by, I need to book five clients this month. I need to make 200 phone calls this month. And the client booking will generally take care of itself or you've got a bad product. Exactly. And not phone calls where you leave a message.

Phone calls where you talk to somebody. Right. Or you drop by and bring them a cup of coffee. Hey, everybody, I brought Starbucks. And come in and try to get a meeting with the director of the nonprofit and go, hey, this is what I do. Oh, you don't have a need? Who does? Who do you know that does?

By the way, I've secured this many millions of dollars in grants before I can help. Man, you may have a line out your door in that community. If you get a year where you got $10 million worth for some group of people over time you go last year i got 10 million dollars in uh people go huh have a seat we'll buy you coffee yeah wait wait right here we're going to get donuts yeah to go with the coffee that's the thing but all of that comes from massive amounts of no's because your ratio is probably going to be a 95% no ratio. And 5% is where you're going to make your living, and you don't know who it is. I'm guessing, but I'm probably not wrong.

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All right, I'm getting out of here. Enjoy. We'll see you on the app.