The Ramsey Show - Don’t Wait for Someone Else To Fix Your Life

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan Dave Ramsey & Ken Coleman answer your questions and discuss: "My mother lost millions in a romance scam," "In-laws are upset ...that I haven't paid them back," "How will President Trump's tariffs affect me personally?" "Should I help pay my girlfriend's expenses?" "How can I help my 71-year-old mother who has no retirement income make it for another 15 years?" Support Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp ◎ Get 10% off Byrna product bundles and more! 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries 🏡 Get started today with Churchill Mortgage 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe 🏦 Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! 🥗 Save 15% on your first Field of Greens order with code RAMSEY ⛨ Find top Health Insurance Plans at Health Trust Financial 💸 To find out more about student loan refinancing, check out Laurel Road 💻 Visit NetSuite today to learn more 🗂️ Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at The Nokbox 💵 Learn more about Timothy Plan 🏛 Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY 🔐 Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Next Steps 📱 Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! ❤️ Get away with your spouse in Nashville! 🛒 Preorder Build a Business You Love Now at Ramsey Solutions 💪 Invest with confidence! Get tickets to Investing Essentials 🪑 Check out Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman! Listen to more from Ramsey Network 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman Ramsey Personality is my co-host today, number one best-selling author, and we are here to help you. The phone number is easy, it's 888-825-5225. The call is free and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Allison starts us off today in Washington DC. Hey Allison, how are you?
Starting point is 00:00:51 Hi, thanks for taking my call. I appreciate all the education that you guys provide. My question today is about how to help my mother recover from a romance scam. Um, she recently found out that there's about $1.2 million missing from hers and my grandmother's, um, estate. Um, and it's gone. Um, and I know I'm not responsible for my mother's spending, but there's just very few resources out there to help someone as they recover from this kind of scam. Wow. So he has disappeared?
Starting point is 00:01:34 Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't even think she met him in person. So this got flagged from her bank after she transferred $300,000 and they flagged that. But that was only the biggest transfer. There were a lot of other smaller transactions totaling, that I'm aware of, about $1.2 million. But it might be more. How old is your mom? She is 71. What a horrible thing. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Simultaneously makes me angry and sad. Wow. Okay. So I guess there's a couple of areas. Is your mom just lonely or is she diminished mentally? That's a great question. I definitely the first one. We thought that she might be diminishing mentally.
Starting point is 00:02:31 I still hold that opinion. There are other family members that think she's just the way she's always been. Is there anything left? She told me there's about $5,000 of my grandmother's money left. My grandmother does have income and that's going to cover her nursing home expenses. She's actually in hospice now and I do feel like my grandmother's going to be okay. We've been working with the nursing home to make sure that they're going to continue
Starting point is 00:02:59 her care and you know, it's not going to be too much longer. I'm sorry, who's in hospice, your grandmother or your mother? My grandmother, my grandmother my grandmother because my my mother is a power of attorney for my grandmother Which is how this came out because I'm the I'm like the second in line for a power of attorney. I forget that term right now. So how is your mom successor? How is your mom? Reacting to all of this is she? Prideful towards you all I can do what I want to do? Or is
Starting point is 00:03:26 she scared and humbled, take over this, I'm not capable? No, she's really in denial at the moment. I've tried to send her budgets, I've tried, you know, stuff from from y'all's website. Unless she unless she is mentally diminished, you can't make her do anything. Correct. So all you can do is help her with her guilt once she discovers she's been scammed and that she's probably gonna need to sit down see a good therapist a good yeah it's almost like an addict behavior like I'm kind of waiting for her to hit bottom and then I'm gonna try to scoot her some resources which is no I'm not scooting her any resources. She's not responsible enough to handle them.
Starting point is 00:04:08 That's fair. You've just got to decide how she can manage, you can help her manage the resources she gets, her hands on, and manage those. And if you give her some food money, instead just give her some food. Because we got to get a long way away from this competency issue. I can't tell why she's incompetent, whether it's just sheer loneliness and she's not a very smart person, or whether she's mentally diminished, I can't tell.
Starting point is 00:04:34 And you can't either is what it amounts to. So you've just gotta treat her like that and go, oh man, it's so sad. Such evil people out there. Have you turned this over to the FBI yet? Well you can't if she's in denial. She's gotta file it. Right, I think they're aware because of the conversation
Starting point is 00:04:59 I understand with the bank. I do think she's on, I've researched all this, I think she's on the there's like a list So I think it has been reported to the FBI. Okay. All right, and if there's anything you can do to try sometimes Once in a blue moon, they actually recoup some of this stuff. But wow, I'm so sorry What a horrible thing. So yeah, you you're there for her emotionally as she deals with the guilt of this level of screw up and you're there for her basic necessities but we're not scooting her resources.
Starting point is 00:05:31 She doesn't need any scooting. She needs care. You're going to have to treat her like she does not have competency because she obviously doesn't. Yeah, the thing that I would add, Allison, is you mentioned you're gonna have to let her hit rock bottom, and unfortunately you're gonna have to do this. This is where role reversal takes place. You become the parent, she's the child,
Starting point is 00:05:51 and it's very, very difficult. But short of, Dave, the children being able to pay for a private investigator, the only way, I hate to be so negative, but I've read into some of these things, because we've taken this call several times over the last six months, as I recall, and some research very very hard to recover this these people this may not even be a real dude This could be a woman in some foreign country these they are very creative And they cover their tracks and you almost have to have a private investigator
Starting point is 00:06:20 Who's got some experience in this stuff number one and who you can afford number two? who's got some experience in this stuff, number one, and who you can afford, number two, who can hopefully entrap them and catch them. That's the only way. Many times the law enforcement, Dave, just doesn't step up here because there's so many of these cases. So I hate to be so negative, but that's the reality.
Starting point is 00:06:36 It's on the computer and the other end of something in Russia or wherever. You don't know where it's going. There's no telling. It's really tough. Man. Yeah, we've taken this call a bunch over the last 30 years, for sure, There it's gallon. There's no telling. It's really tough, man. Yeah, we've taken this call a bunch over the last 30 years for sure in different forms.
Starting point is 00:06:50 The internet has made it more prevalent, I guess, but it's not that unusual. But so I guess, yeah, be there for her emotionally, be there for her necessities. We're not ever going to put her in charge in the near future of any kind of assets because she's not responsible or capable or competent or
Starting point is 00:07:10 whatever the phrase is we want to use. Those aren't insulting words, they're just observations of where she is, obviously. But yeah, you don't... Wow. So, and there's a part, if I'm Alice, and I think is normal for the family members, there's a part of them that are aggravated with mom. Oh, sure. For not having her crap together any better than this, you know. But, so those of you out there, this happens almost exclusively to elderly that are by,
Starting point is 00:07:47 and let me back it off, okay, not even elderly, 50 years old and beyond, if you wanna call that elderly. If you're 20, that's ancient, okay, but if you're 60, it's not ancient, okay, so. But anyway, 50 years old and beyond, lonely, and disconnected and not involved, where like, if Allison is the successor trustee in the situation then you know she leans in and is very involved in mom
Starting point is 00:08:11 to where she knows this is happening. Correct. Where you know if they're disconnected even the least amount from the rest of the family and from friends where no one is raising a flag going you're doing what? You know but you got to be in a conversation to be able to say that. And that's not on Allison, it's not her fault, but this is who it happens to, the lonely. That's who it happens to.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Wow, how sad. This is The Ramsey Show. If you need health insurance for yourself or your family, you might be lost in a maze of confusing terms, overwhelming options, and questions about networks. Not to mention high costs and bad service from insurance companies that don't care about what you want. Common concerns like those are why I'm proud to recommend Health Trust Financial. They've been working with Ramsey for over 20 years and they're the only Ramsey-trusted
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Starting point is 00:09:52 financial dot com. Ken Coleman bestselling author is my co-host today. I am Dave Ramsey your host. This is the Ramsey show. We talk to you about your life and your money. Some of you are aware that we coach and train and do events for small businesses. Got around 10,000 of them right now that we're coaching all across America, and I love small business people. 54% of the gross domestic product, the economy,
Starting point is 00:10:22 is created by businesses with fewer than 500 team members. Small business is literally mathematically the backbone of the US economy. And so people starting up new stuff and excited entrepreneurs are my people. I started this business of Ramsey on a card table in my living room 30 something years ago. And today, you know, we've got over a thousand folks working here. We've got, you know, several hundred million dollars in revenue and helping people is our goal and our product. It's what we do. And I had a best-selling book teaching
Starting point is 00:10:54 people about how we run this business several years ago, about a decade ago, called Entrez Leadership. It still sells very, very well. Thank you guys for reading that. The combination of entrepreneurship and leadership. So today we're launching pre-sale on a book of mine. I don't do many books anymore. It's been, I think, four or five years since I've done one. And so this one is the
Starting point is 00:11:15 system that we have used to grow Ramsey and that we teach the small businesses to grow around America. It's called Build a Business You Love, Mastering the Five Stages of Business. We have identified that there are six things that drive businesses forward and as they go forward they go through five stages. Two different elements here, but much like you walk the baby steps in the personal finance, this entree leadership system with the
Starting point is 00:11:45 six drivers and the five stages that you go through in business, and it takes decades in most cases to go through all of it as you grow a business from an idea all the way into a multi-million dollar thing. This is the baby steps for small business in a sense, and this is what this book does. It's the total money makeover for small business in a sense because it's going to show you exactly what those five stages are exactly what the six drivers are and exactly how to do them and you're gonna like your business better. One of the dichotomies is most of us start a business because we think it's gonna be more fun than working for someone else and then you find out you've got the meanest dad gone boss on the planet, which is you looking at yourself in the mirror. You will work yourself to death and you will crack the whip and do stuff. It's crazy. So
Starting point is 00:12:34 you can end up hating the business that you started if you're not careful. It happens all the time. And but you've got to get a thing where you're building something that you love and you're enjoying it like you did the first day you had the idea and so build a business you love it's on pre-sale starting today the book actually ships on April 15th oddly enough tax day for small business people right and everybody else so and if you pre-order now you're for $29.99 you're going to get over $350 worth of bonus items instant access to the Entrez leadership hiring playbook, which is one of the lessons we teach here and hiring and firing is the biggest challenge small businesses face. It's a complete
Starting point is 00:13:13 pain in the butt and it's wonderful both because you get to meet some of the best people on the planet and some of the craziest people on the planet. Early access to the ebook is part of the package and you get the enhanced audio book. I read the audio book but we've also put a bunch of other stuff in there. It's almost like a production of a podcast and so the audiobook is super entertaining and super cool rather than just me reading the book. It's not that. Okay. So pre-order today at ramsaysolutions.com slash store.
Starting point is 00:13:39 If you're watching on YouTube or podcast you can click the link in the description. I've been doing this for 30 years. It was 30 plus years ago I started on a card table in my living room and I don't write about stuff that I have not done. Nothing we do at Ramsey is theory. It's all where we're practitioners. We give you actionable things you can do and Ken you've spoken at Entrez Leadership Summit which we're doing in May in Denver. It's a huge event at Entree Leadership Master Series, which is a smaller event for the owners of small businesses.
Starting point is 00:14:11 And these small businesses really, if you're thinking about or you are operating or running or even working for a small business, this stuff's important. Yeah, I was going to say very quickly that the timing for this is right because our audience is exploding in the podcast and YouTube space. more and more we're seeing Gen Z call this show. So if you're in Gen Z or you're a millennial and you've just had an idea at some point in your life, I think this is a must buy. You may not be ready to launch the business, but to understand what it takes to go from
Starting point is 00:14:40 a card table, as Dave has said now just a moment ago, to a massive company with over a thousand employees, hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue. It is a proven system and I love the stages. They're very easy to understand, but will help you see what it's going to take. And Dave, we're seeing data now that Gen Z is the most entrepreneurial generation that we've ever had in history,
Starting point is 00:15:03 because they're seeing that their entryway into working for themselves is easier than ever. They see it obviously through video, through digital tools, and thus it's created this great desire to work for yourself. So this book, I think, is a must gift. If you've got that young entrepreneur in your life, parents or grandparents, or if you are somebody who thinks you might want to work for yourself one day I think this is a must read so that you can see what the climb is gonna have to look like that's why I like this book I think the timing of
Starting point is 00:15:34 this this thing's gonna go absolutely bananas because of the day and age in which we live well and if you're 52 and you have eight employees in your own heat and air company hello I know exactly what you're 52 and you have eight employees and you own a heat and air company, hello. I know exactly what you're facing. That's right. Other than the heat and air part. But I mean the rest of it, I know it inside and out. And we've got you as a customer all over America and I can show you exactly what the next steps are.
Starting point is 00:15:58 It's not too late. This is not just what Ramsey has gone through. This is what we've coached these 10,000 businesses through. Build a business your love on pre-sales starting today. And Ken, I think that's a beautiful thing. If you've got an idea what you don't know yet, if you've not started a business is the three rules of business. And rule number one is it's going to take twice as long as you thought. Rule number two, it's going to cost twice as much as you thought. And rule number three
Starting point is 00:16:23 is you're not the exception. This is gonna be hard. It's gonna be harder than you thought. You're gonna make some mistakes, and your best ideas are gonna turn out looking stupid, and some of your dumb ideas are gonna turn out looking like you're a genius. It's amazing to me how much of my personal stupidity
Starting point is 00:16:41 this company has survived over 30 years. The number of dumb things that we have tried that did not work and the reason they survived was the financial underpinning, we don't borrow money and following these exact steps and these six drivers are staying true to our lane this is what we do, this is what we do, this is what we do
Starting point is 00:17:02 and we can show you how to do all that but I'm not gonna tell you it's gonna be easy. It's not easy. It's easier to start a business today than at any time in human history. Any time in human history, because your marketing is instantaneous. You've got this wonderful thing, like the old country boy said, you got that internet?
Starting point is 00:17:18 I mean, you got this wonderful thing out there that you can do anything with. And there's a ton of you know standalone plug-and-play products to help you you know run your business help you do all kinds of things to to get something off the ground so you know the first time I ever saw that really was I was just amazed that the first time I met the guy that he made a million dollars in one year this was 20 years ago I met him I made a million dollars in one year. This was 20 years ago I met him. I made a million dollars in one year
Starting point is 00:17:47 selling used golf clubs on eBay. Wow. He was buying, you go to a garage salesman and buy golf clubs for a dollar. Clean them up. Buy the whole bag, because people just want them out of the way. That's right. They collect, they grow rabbits in your garage.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Use golf clubs. Get those out of the corner. Yeah, and nobody wants the old technology, right? Yeah, everybody does when it's cheap enough. So he would take it, clean it, put it on eBay, and all of a sudden he had a business. Wow. You know, and so you can decide to do something like that,
Starting point is 00:18:16 but then, like a friend of mine I was talking to the other day, the Sinister 30s, who suddenly has millions of dollars of revenue, he's now overwhelmed. He's like, I now have a business. I thought I was just a dot dot dot. And he goes, now I got people working for me, now I got all this other stuff.
Starting point is 00:18:30 And he's kind of an accidental entrepreneur, if you will. And so yeah, there's processes though that can get this back for you, that can help you get your life back together. Build a business you love on pre-sale today. As I said, I don't do many books anymore. Most of our book production and writing is done by the Ramsey personalities around here and they do a great job and we've got number ones with bestsellers with multiple number one bestsellers with all of them. And there's
Starting point is 00:18:59 no need for the old man to get in the way of that, but this is my material so I had to put it into a book. We couldn't let it just wander off into the ethos. So this way you can get your hands on it for only $29.99 and you can get a system to run and grow your business. And I gotta tell you, if you're running a small business you deserve to win. You are the right kind of people. You're the kind of people people should work for versus corporate America who will piss on you. So I mean you know you need to go to work for good people family-run businesses. They're the best on the planet This is the Ramsey show
Starting point is 00:19:35 Taking care of your health doesn't have to cost a fortune That's why field of greens is in my house Field of greens is made from fruits and veggies selected by doctors to support your heart, liver, kidneys, and metabolism. And here's the best part, they're so confident your doctor will notice your improved health. They offer a money-back guarantee, no questions asked. Try today and get 15% off at fieldofgreens.com slash Ramsey, promo code Ramsey, fieldofgreens.com slash Ramsey promo code ramsey field of greens dot com slash ramsey Ken Coleman Ramsey personality bestselling author is my co-host today Seattle is on the
Starting point is 00:20:16 line Jeremy is calling hi Jeremy how are you? Good how are you? Better than I deserve what's up? Good hey I just started your book this last month with my wife. We are on baby step number two. Um, and to long story short, we basically borrowed some money from a family member, my father, my mother, ma, about a year and a half ago. Um,
Starting point is 00:20:42 and we put a manufactured home there, used the money for that. We're paying them back pretty quickly. It feels like, um, made a dumb decision again, before I started your book and went out and bought a toy. And it's kind of putting some stress on our relationship with them. They're thinking we shouldn't be spending money when we owe them money. And I just wanted your advice on that. What'd you buy? A four-wheeler. Okay. What'd you spend on the four-wheeler? Six thousand and we've financed it but it's almost paid off Okay and what do you owe them? About 80,000. Oof. So they loaned you the money to buy a house. A trailer. Yeah, yes sir. On their property? Yes sir. So you have an 80,000 dollar trailer and you don't own the dirt? Correct.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Oh God. Okay. Wow. Well, what are the terms? I mean, did you have a payment system with them, a certain amount you're supposed to pay them every month? Yes, yeah. And we've been paying that on time, every time obviously. You were not, well not obviously, I mean you've never been late and yet they expected that you would prepay them rather than do anything else.
Starting point is 00:22:18 Why did they expect that? You know, that's a good question. Okay. And you know our thing is we have a pretty good relationship with them and things just kind of got awkward. So do I sell the toy, take a loss and move on? Do I? You're the expert, I guess. That's my question. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I'm curious to know if there was any pressure that you felt at any time or your wife felt at any time to A, borrow 80 grand from them to then get a pre-mod trailer and put it on their property. Was there pressure there or was it just they threw it out and you guys loved the idea? So basically we sold our house and had some money to decide to do this project and it was just an idea that got thrown out there and nobody thought it would really work.
Starting point is 00:23:10 We were able to make it work and we were pretty excited about that. There wasn't too much pressure there. It will most likely be, it will be our property at some point. So that wasn't, there wasn't too much for us on worrying with that. There's two layers to this situation. The first layer is the simple four-wheeler question. Okay? On the simple four-wheeler question, I think you and your wife need to go over, ask them if you can come over and talk and have a cup of coffee and bring a pie and you just sit down and say we thought that we
Starting point is 00:23:52 had a monthly payment arrangement with you and as long as we were doing that we thought we were doing the right thing somehow there must have been more to the agreement than we understood because if we go on vacation you're're gonna be mad if we buy a four-wheeler You're gonna be mad, but we didn't know that was part of the deal and so we need to get on the same page about what our deal is because I Thought our deal was I pay you monthly payments and you're happy
Starting point is 00:24:20 But now it's I pay you monthly payments and I have to check with you before I buy anything And that's not a deal. I'm okay with Now agreed you shouldn't have bought a stupid four-wheeler in this situation, okay? That's a side and you can say that I made a mistake I shouldn't have bought the toy, but I'm trying to figure out what our boundaries are here so that I don't upset you again into the future and Basically call them out because they're out of line. You did a stupid thing but they don't have a right to be
Starting point is 00:24:52 upset about it because you're kept your part of the deal. Yep. I'm telling you sell this four-wheeler and get yourself out of debt with that money. Yeah definitely do that but that not paying towards them. Okay that's layer number one. That's the the easiest layer Do you want me to get harder Jeremy or do you want me to leave you alone?
Starting point is 00:25:12 Nope, I want to hear it. Okay, you guys have made a colossal mess You violated about six things here and you're gonna get it's gonna it's not gonna turn out Well, I'm afraid colossal rule number one is you never build a proper you never put eighty thousand dollars worth of collateral on someone else's dirt. I don't care whose dirt it is. Period. Because you do not have control the situation. If they are in a car wreck in the middle of the night, fall asleep at the wheel and these sweet little people hit somebody head-on and they get sued for 200 million dollars the dirt under your trailer is gone in
Starting point is 00:25:47 that lawsuit and they have no control over that and you have no control over that so you have set yourself up and I've seen this a thousand times in 30 years of doing what I do not owning the dirt under your trailer is a massive mistake number one borrowing 80,000 from your in-laws for anything for any reason is a massive mistake number two the borrower is slave to the lender and as you have figured out masters change the rules sometimes you're the slave rule number problem number three you spent eighty thousand dollars on
Starting point is 00:26:21 something that's going down in value not up in value. Trailers go down in value, they don't go up in value. So in 15 years, what's this $80,000 trailer worth? Nothing. You're burning $80,000 on your kitchen table every night, a little bit at a time. So you got a massive entanglement of mess
Starting point is 00:26:46 here and i don't know exactly how to get you out of that one is easy as i did the other was not a cup of coffee and a pie uh... uh... so uh... but if i'm in your shoes i'm gonna start trying to unravel this thing if i can figure out a way to honorably do that uh... i'm guessing the trailer won't bring 80 grand now right? No. Okay what would it bring now? Um it might get close you know there's there's not a lot of them around to get a good idea but... Okay if you can if you can get out of it I would sell it
Starting point is 00:27:15 and start fresh renting somewhere and give them their money back and keep you from owning an asset that's going down in value sitting on dirt that you don't own. Man, this is just, you're playing Russian roulette and there's three bullets in the gun. Not one. Yeah, Dave, he's been sufficiently burned. I'll offer some salve. And the salve. Hey, I got permission. No, you're right. No, you couldn't be more right. I just can't add anything to it other than to say this. Walk away from this to realize it could have been way worse and this thing can get nastier if you don't fix it now. And I could not say that enough.
Starting point is 00:27:50 You can dig out of this, but I would start digging quickly and make all these changes and you'll look back on this and go, whew, I'm glad I did it. It's gonna get worse. The relationship's gonna get worse. The finances are gonna get worse. Everything's gonna get worse. There's nothing in this story that turns out good. And the problem is, to stop and say that out loud is like walking up in the middle of the
Starting point is 00:28:15 town square and saying the emperor has no clothes. Everybody's gonna look at you and go, but wait! Your wife's gonna look at you, their precious little daughter, and go, my daddy would know. Oh yes he did, he already bitched about the four wheeler, of course he's gonna do it. It's coming, you know what your daddy's gonna do. Right. Okay, I already know what your daddy's gonna do. I read his mail. Well Dave, this makes me think of the classic line in the wedding vows, leave and cleave.
Starting point is 00:28:37 There is a psychological reason for doing that. There's wisdom in that phrase. Not living on their land. Well, mom and dad have got some money and they've got some land and they were trying to do something nice and they did a good thing in a dumb way. Yeah, that's a great way of putting it. How could you do this differently? All right, I'll tell you how you could do it differently. You'd carve up your property, you'd put a property line on it, and you give a parcel of it to your daughter.
Starting point is 00:29:01 And if you want her to have an $80, thousand dollar property have her build something on there that will go up in value and give her eighty thousand dollars of your money. Don't loan it to her and make her your slave and change the quality of your relationship. Thanksgiving dinner tastes different when you eat with your master. It changes the relationship and you're not the exception. No one, none of you out there. So mom and dads, quit doing a nice thing, a good thing, a bad way, and causing more problems than you were blessings. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:29:31 And that's, oh, poor Jeremy. I'm sorry Jeremy, but you called and you asked. This is the Ramsey Show. There's a time in your life and in the baby steps for renting, but you don't want to do it forever because when you rent, you're still paying for a mortgage just somebody else's. Plus, rent means instability in your budget because it always goes up, never down.
Starting point is 00:29:58 So when you're ready to buy, make sure you work with a mortgage partner you can rely on, Churchill Mortgage. Churchill is Ramsey Trusted to help you make the move from renting to home ownership wisely. Churchill understands that when you buy a home the Ramsey way, your mortgage payment will be a consistent, manageable part of your monthly budget. Plus, when your home is paid off,
Starting point is 00:30:20 that was your largest expense, now it's extra money in your pocket and an asset towards turning you into a baby steps millionaire. So get started on the American dream of home ownership today at ChurchillMortgage.com. That's ChurchillMortgage.com. This is a paid advertisement. NMLS ID 1591. NMLS consumeraccess.org. Equal Housing Lender. 1749 Mallory Lane suite 100 Brentwood, Tennessee 37027 Open phones this our Kent Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host our question of the day is brought to you by why
Starting point is 00:30:57 Refi if you're struggling with defaulted private student loans why refi offers a great solution To get you back on track. For a low fixed rate and more flexibility, go to yrefi.com slash Ramsey today. That's the letter Y, R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey, might not be in all states. Today's question comes from Brianna in Washington, D.C. Can you explain how President Trump's new executive order
Starting point is 00:31:24 on tariffs will affect me at a personal level? Well, this is my answer will be based on if the tariffs stand. Right now there's been an extension. If you're paying attention to the news, President Trump mentioned the tariffs would take place, Canada, Mexico specifically, and then they responded, their governments responded, and so now there is a, we'll call it a waiting period to see how this plays out. But if the tariffs were to go into place, and I'm just gonna be honest so if this offends you folks, honesty is what I'm gonna go with, tariffs will affect us. There's no question even President Trump has said and and I quote that prices
Starting point is 00:32:03 will go up. There's no question that that's how tariffs work. Even though a tariff is placed on a foreign country, that is on the goods and stuff that they would, of course, export to American companies. And so American companies will have to pay the tariff. The idea is to drive American goods, which I'm all for, but there's no question that tariffs are passed on from American companies to American consumers. So it's a long-held economic strategy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:32:34 We'll see how this plays out. It's too soon to tell because, again, we've got a bit of a moratorium. But if they go into place on certain goods and services, you will see an increase in cost. The question is how much of an increase in cost, and that comes down to the American company that is again getting goods from Mexico or Canada. So that's how that works, and I've never seen companies not pass on increased costs to customers across the board. I've got a friend building a house in Cabo in Mexico.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Yeah. And he just had some of his appliances and his plumbing fixtures shipped in from the states. Mexico adds a 33%. That's correct. 33% on top of that. So $1,000 item becomes a $1,500 item. That's right. That's today. That's hundred dollar item. That's right.
Starting point is 00:33:27 That's today. That's happening. Yeah, that's right. And has been that way for years. Which is why the president came out and said. Which has been that way for years. That's right. Okay. So that does not happen when Mexico sends stuff here.
Starting point is 00:33:39 So we need to keep in mind that's what's really going on. If you are an American company wanting to sell things to customers in Mexico, you face a 33% up charge today. That's been in place for years. Did it crash either economy? No. Did it slow down the number of people that do business in Mexico? Yes. Hello. Yeah. I mean, and that's the net, net, net effect of these things is, but this idea that somehow Americans are going to come up on the short end of the stick, not really. Canadians are really worried about this. They're very worried about it. Well, it depends on what you mean.
Starting point is 00:34:24 I've talked to three Canadian business people in the last week that were very, very afraid of what it's going to do to them. And it's much more damaging to them. No question. But I do want to answer it honestly. Honestly too, you will pay more. If you buy something from Canada or you buy something from Mexico and that goes into effect, you will pay more. That's right. No question about it. 100%. The companies do not eat taxes. We're going to raise corporate taxes. No you're not. You raise corporate taxes. Corporate taxes are built into the price of the item you buy from Walmart. Walmart does not pay taxes. You pay taxes when you buy potato chips at Walmart. You pay all their taxes for them. It's built into the price. They don't work for nothing. You can't raise corporate taxes. It's Walmart. You pay all their taxes for them. It's built into the price. They don't work for nothing.
Starting point is 00:35:06 You can't raise corporate taxes. It's impossible. You just raise prices to the consumer. Same exact thing. That's right. Exact thing. Here's the flip side to this. Cause I was on Fox Business talking about,
Starting point is 00:35:17 they asked me what I thought about this. If the president also extends his tax cuts, which will expire later this year. That would help the American consumer in lowering your cost, of course, you keep more of your paycheck. The second thing the president, I think, will do, and we're gonna see this soon,
Starting point is 00:35:34 is he's going to cut regulation on American businesses, and if you were to lower taxes on American businesses, that also offsets tariffs. So it is, for people who are just hearing the media talk tariffs, you gotta look at the whole picture and go, okay, if he does what you're talking about and he's now going after two countries
Starting point is 00:35:50 that we do a lot of trading with, he's going, it's gotta be fair. You've heard him use these words. His words, not mine. But if he also lowers taxes on American businesses and lowers regulation, then you might see very little, and that would be my hope,
Starting point is 00:36:04 and I fully expect him to do that. I see nothing out of his administration that wouldn't do that. In that case, you're not going to feel tariffs in and of themselves by themselves. I think that's what's going to happen. The economics is not as simple as one variable. It's not. There's more to it than that. Here's the other thing, and this is what I told my Canadian buddy. Okay, he was in meltdown mode. I'll bet. I said, let me just just I'll give you an opinion and it's worth
Starting point is 00:36:28 exactly what you pay for it there's not gonna be in tariffs of Canada that's my opinion it already appears as though none of this and there's not gonna be with Mexico that's my opinion but it may require that Mexico and Canada start treating American goods the way we treat their goods fair that's right nobody right. Nobody wants to get in a trade war, including President Trump. Nobody wants to pay 33% upgrade. Right. And we do today. And so, and they want the borders closed. So, but I think that this is a negotiating ploy on those two countries. Now, I will tell you some of the other countries where there's a massive trade deficit
Starting point is 00:37:02 and there is a tariff offset like I'm talking about where let's say Vietnam okay, where we pay If you want to bring American goods into Vietnam you pay big money to do that and if you want to ship American ship Vietnamese goods to America you pay nothing and The trade deficit is huge meaning that we import a lot more from Vietnam than we export to them. That's the trade deficit. So they are taking jobs from America, in that sense,
Starting point is 00:37:36 and then they're charging, overcharging, for American goods coming in. So where he doesn't want a border closed with them, where he doesn't want something else in this negotiation, that one's probably in trouble. You're probably gonna see one there. That's right. And then you're gonna see, if you're buying goods from Vietnam, you're probably gonna see a huge increase in what the cost of that is, like I'm outlining with Mexico as an example. And so, but I don't think Mexico or personally I don't think Mexico or
Starting point is 00:38:05 or Canada either one will ever see it I think he was he was trying to get some other stuff and that was he threw a grenade in the middle of it he's a New York Street fighter and that's how he negotiates. That's exactly right. We'll see. He hasn't changed at all. Now let's bring this back to our every everybody else and not just Brianna who asked this question it's good question by the way I can tell you this if you're debt free and you're working your way through the baby steps, even though it's never fun to have your cost
Starting point is 00:38:29 of your household goods or the things that you do go up, you can weather that storm. And people who stand on that debt free stage over there, they're never stressed about inflation. And so it's really important. And they're not picking up goods in their house going, made in Mexico, wait a minute, or made in Canada. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:38:44 That's right. There's probably not that much in your house that made in Mexico, wait a minute, or made in Canada, wait a minute. There's probably not that much in your house that says that truthfully. So you know. I think it's going to shake out. I think you're going to see the tax cuts extended Dave. I think you're going to see deregulation. I don't think America wants a trade war with either one of their problems, either one of their border neighbors. I just really don't. We'll see, we'll see. One other principle that we can leave this alone, get all the prognostication and bull crap out of here. Don't act on worries that haven't happened.
Starting point is 00:39:21 When it happens, you can think about it. Until it happens, it hadn't happened. Well, we might have this or we might have that. It might snow. We might not. We might have an outbreak of the bird flu. We might not. We might have a... and we might not. And if you spend your life doing that, you're going to eat up all your calories and have no fun. So, I'm serious. It's just don't do that. On anything, tariffs, politics, Trump being elected, Trump not being elected, whatever.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Whatever it is you want to, you know, until it actually occurs and you actually see it in your hand messing with your wallet, then I would start making some adjustments to offset and say, well I'm going to have to change the way I do that. But until then, it's all a bunch of malarkey on the news. And believe me, most of what's on the news is malarkey. This is the Ramsey Show. You shouldn't own a gun, You're not willing to shoot. In moments of self-defense, a Berna launcher lets you protect yourself in a non-lethal way. That's exactly why
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Starting point is 00:41:16 And because they're not firearms, they can be shipped directly to your door. Plus, Ramsey fans can get 10% off an exclusive bundle which includes a Berna pistol, CO2 cartridges, and ammo. And other Berna products like safety alarms, defense sprays, and body armor are also 10% off for our listeners. Just go to Berna.com slash Dave to learn more. That's B-y-r-n-a dot com slash Dave. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave
Starting point is 00:42:03 Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author and host of the brand new super popular podcast that we just launched called Front Row Seat. Be sure to check it out on Ramsey Networks. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. Joe is with us in Salt Lake City. Hi Joe, how are you? Doing good, how are you doing?
Starting point is 00:42:26 Better than I deserve, what's up? Hi, so I'm calling, I'm curious. So me and my girlfriend are gonna be moving in together and I'm curious whether I should be covering the bills or not. No. All right, are you ready for some context? I was waiting on Dave on that one. That's why I got out in front. What's the context? Yeah. So, um, I'm from Salt Lake City. She's
Starting point is 00:42:55 from Salt Lake City. I work out of state. So I'm moving out of state to Cleveland, Ohio. She's going to be moving with me. with me and her work is very clientele based so she won't be having she will have practically zero business out there and I make more than enough to provide for both of us and so how old is she not necessary that I need to sorry say it again how old is she we are both 19 years old what does she do for a living cosmetology okay okay so she's gonna give up her life and follow you and you're not even gonna marry her Yeah, I mean, I mean. Or maybe not.
Starting point is 00:43:52 I think I'm a good guy. I didn't think you're a bad guy. I just said marry the girl. Put a ring on it buddy. That's all I said. Yeah. Because I'm telling you she's in danger. Not physically, not emotionally. you're not a bad guy,
Starting point is 00:44:06 but she is very vulnerable economically because she's become dependent on a 19-year-old that she's not married to in another city where she has no connections and no family and she has no income. She's vulnerable and that's not wise for her. And that vulnerability, that anxiety that goes with that is going to affect your relationship and you guys don't see that you just young and in love and you think this is all
Starting point is 00:44:30 gonna work as long as the sex is good. Whoa. Yeah I mean why a year from now hold on let's play out your thing you told day well we're going to a year from now so what's gonna change between now and then for you to marry her instead of now a year from now. So what's going to change between now and then? For you to marry her instead of now a year from now what changes? So I work like I just work in the summer months and And so I'm like waiting to get back from working for the year and being able to like actually have open time where then I could devote like majority of my energy and majority of,
Starting point is 00:45:11 of like what I need to emotionally to a relationship. This is a disaster. Hey, listen, if you're going to do that, um, you know, that's when you get married now and moving in together is, um, she's, you would have to pay the bills cause she has no money is the answer to your original question isn't it well you yeah I mean and she could get like a basic job but yeah but I mean she can't she can't exist she can't subsist if she follows this along without you so she's trapped that's what I'm telling you and economically and your brain knows the math and your body stores the stress from your brain
Starting point is 00:45:48 and she can't keep that from happening. It's going to affect your relationship negatively. So if you're going to go do this, just call the preacher and say, hey, we want to get married before we move over there. It will change the environment because then she knows you're legally bound to care for her. She's legally bound to care for you because you're legally don't own anything separately anymore because you're now what we call married. And so that's going to be healthier for her emotionally for your relationship long term and it will change everything. And if you're not able to commit to that emotionally, you should not put her in this state of vulnerability
Starting point is 00:46:28 because you're a good guy and you wouldn't do that. I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to take another tack here real quick. I think that you need to tell her it's a really bad idea and you've seen the light and you guys need to figure out if you really do want to spend the rest of your life together, not play house. I would actually go and she stays back home. You guys figure out if you can do a long distance relationship before you do this nonsense. If I was this girl's father, I'd be in your grill, man. That may not be popular, but I really don't care. I think this is crazy. I'd want you to prove to me as this girl's father that you're willing to
Starting point is 00:47:02 be mature and put you two in front of your desire. I think that's what I would do. And see if she's willing to do it, see if you're willing to do the long distance relationship. And while I'm ranting, when it's time, if you guys prove that you can do this, she can come visit for a little bit and get a job. I'm pretty sure they have plenty of hairdressers
Starting point is 00:47:21 that need somebody to cut hair in Cleveland. So this is not this all in scenario, Dave. I don't like it, I think it's foolish. Joe, I mean, you called and asked and we're being pretty brutal with you and messing up your plan, but that's, what we're thinking like here is like her old ugly uncle, because I pretty much qualify for all of that.
Starting point is 00:47:43 I think I'm handsome, but you know. I said we, me, but yeah. But I'm saying, you know, what would you do? And you said, I wouldn't. When I asked you, would you want your daughter to do this, you said no, I wouldn't. So you need to think about how you answered that, because you answered that honestly.
Starting point is 00:48:01 And I do think you're a good guy. I'm not questioning your integrity or your intent or anything. I'm not saying you're a substandard person in any way. But there's implications to what you're doing that you don't know about or haven't thought through. And then I'll just stop a second and say that for the rest of you out there because today in America more couples live together not married than married statistically. Now for those of you that grew up with Leave It to Beaver in an alternative universe that's shocking to you. More people live together not married than married. The downside is that the data is now in. We see the data and we track the data. It's our world.
Starting point is 00:48:47 And the data says that married couples far exceed unmarried couples living together in their financial goals and wealth building. Far exceed. The researchers call it the marriage advantage. And it's probably deeper than just combining of the two incomes and that kind of a thing. Our theory is, and we've not been able to research this and prove it, but you can just listen with me and think about it guys, but our theory is simply this. That when both of you are
Starting point is 00:49:20 permanently promised to each other's future with a contract called marriage, it causes a differentiation in your behaviors versus I've got to always have an out, I always have an exit, I gotta always have a what happens if he moves out, what happens if he leaves me with these two kids, what happens if you know all those kinds of things. That can happen in marriage. It's called divorce, but you get this thing called child support, alimony, and half the assets. You don't get that when you're cohabitating. Even with a cohabitation contract, they don't stand up in most states to the level that marriage does. So we can
Starting point is 00:50:00 discuss how it gets there, but the data is undeniable. Married couples far exceed in wealth building to unmarried couples living together. Far exceed. And you can just look at it through the wealth building lens or you can look at it through other lenses, but that's the one that I've got data on. This is the Ramsey Show. Have you gotten one of those texts recently
Starting point is 00:50:23 claiming to be the USPS with some sketchy link to update your address? It's annoying and a little terrifying. And you probably think to yourself, I should do something about this. But where do you even start? Well, as your nerdy friend who does the research for you, I found the solution. They're called Delete Me. And here's the reason they come in the clutch.
Starting point is 00:50:41 The internet is packed with data brokers, which are these shady companies whose sole purpose is to collect your personal info and sell it for a profit. Enter Delete Me. Delete Me swoops in, finds your info on these sites and removes it on your behalf. They even send you a report with all the details. And so far, for me personally, they have reviewed 27,000 listings, removed my info from 240 data brokers, and saved me 66 hours in the process. I trust DeleteMe to help protect my family, and I trust them to help you too. You're going to get fewer spam texts, fewer phishing emails, and fewer creepy robocalls. And DeleteMe also makes a great gift for other people in your life that you care about.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Individual plans start at just $9 a month, so take an easy step to protect yourself and your loved ones today. And as a Ramsey fan, you'll get an extra 20% off any of their plans at JoinDeleteMe.com slash Ramsey. That's JoinDeleteMe.com slash Ramsey. Hey guys, Rachel Cruz here. All right, I'm about to say what everyone already knows, but budgeting is a good thing to do. Now, actually starting, well, that's where people freeze up.
Starting point is 00:51:48 And you guys, it doesn't have to be that way. With the Every Dollar Budgeting app, getting started is super easy, and so is sticking to it. You can set up your first budget in less time than it takes to go through the Chick-fil-A drive-through. It's fast. And the best part? With unlimited budget categories, you can customize it to fit your life
Starting point is 00:52:06 Grocery runs coffee runs or planning your next family trip whatever you have going on every dollar helps you see exactly What's happening with your money? You'll know what's coming in what's going out and what's left over for some fun because let's be real You need some fun in your budget every dollar keeps budgeting simple and stress-free Just the way you want it. So go download the app for free and get started today. Again, go download Every Dollar Today. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today. He is the host of the brand new show called Front Row Seat. Ken, Front Row Seat came out
Starting point is 00:52:46 of the gate really fast, no pun intended. It's an interview program where you are the master interviewer, which you are, long form. One of the first ones you did was Nikki Haley. That's right. And Nikki's been a friend for years and of course was governor and ambassador of the UN, governor of South Carolina, ran for president. Last one standing against Trump running for president on the Republican ticket. And she was a great interview. Yeah, really, really great.
Starting point is 00:53:14 You know, we did not talk politics. We talked leadership, something that she knows a lot about having faced one of the biggest racial crises of our modern era. If you remember the tragic shooting in South Carolina, we talked about building a team. She's been very successful in many walks of life. So the idea behind the show is very simple. We want to have the audience feel as though... And you have a live audience. Live audience. And so they represent the greater audience. When you see people sitting around
Starting point is 00:53:41 or you hear them ask a question, if you're listening via podcast, they really symbolize you, the audience. And so we're very excited to bring this format, something I've always wanted to do. And it takes the level of, I feel like I'm just an observer and it makes it feel like you're engaged. The team has done a great job. It's beautiful if you wanna watch it on YouTube. It's just a fabulous studio, very warm and inviting. And then of course the audio product on your favorite
Starting point is 00:54:09 podcast app, it is a show that you're going to be challenged every time you're going to learn something and we're going to challenge you to do something. So most of the time you're doing about 80% of the question answering, asking and the audience are doing about 20%. Yeah, I would say it's a conversation. It's not even so much just a back and forth question, but a conversation with me and the guests for probably, you're right, 80% of it, and then the audience themselves at any time can interrupt and raise their hand and ask a question.
Starting point is 00:54:33 We want that studio audience to feel free. If you've heard something, you can jump right in and ask. And so once we get that finished product out, it's just a beautiful mix and people are really enjoying it. And the first several are in the can and you can watch them now on YouTube. New episode comes out every Tuesday morning on YouTube and your favorite podcast app. Yeah so you can get it as a podcast or as a YouTube product and it's just really quality. We're real proud of it. Give you an idea coming up
Starting point is 00:54:58 this Tuesday, Will Gadara who's a good friend of yours, become a friend of mine. We're talking about the number one restaurateur in the world. That is an unbelievably difficult honor to achieve. And he's probably now one of the foremost experts on how to just treat people well with his runaway best seller, Unreasonable Hospitality. So that deep dive is great for leaders. The sad thing about Will is he's unreasonably nice.
Starting point is 00:55:23 One of the nicest people I've ever met. It's just ridiculous how nice he is. That's true. And yet we're still friends. It's just, he's unreasonably nice. Yeah, he's great, he's a great guy. Hey, be sure you tune in, you're gonna love it. And that particular episode I'll be watching
Starting point is 00:55:36 because I love Will and I love his material and I love the way he thinks. He dropped some gold on us. Really, really good stuff. Yeah, I'm sure he had some mic drops in there. April's in Indianapolis. Hey, April, welcome to the Ramsey show hi thanks for having me sure what's up so I'm wanting to know how I can help my 71 year old mother who has no retirement she has a home and she's considering selling the home in
Starting point is 00:56:01 order to be able to make it about 50 more years but she's kind of in a rock and a hard place and I didn't know if there's a way she can invest a little or find a way to maybe get a little extra money. So she has no money? None at all. And what's the house worth? It's probably about 175,000. But then she has to decide whether to rent or to go purchase another smaller home. She's in Evansville and so Evansville, Kentucky, Indiana, Indiana. I'm sorry. Evansville, Indiana Indiana I'm sorry I was really
Starting point is 00:56:45 in the border Kentucky yeah okay yeah all right good news is it's not very expensive live there you're calling me from newer are from Indianapolis and that's a little more she has no income at all she has she has a social security well she has social security but she's afraid to get a job because then she'll lose her insurance, her Medicare. Well what is her social security? What's her income? She's only getting 900 a month about right now. Is she able to work?
Starting point is 00:57:17 She is. She's actually, she's pretty stubborn. I love her to death, but she, uh, she's very independent and kind of, it's a bit stubborn, but I love her and I keep saying, well maybe if you could do this or that, she's kind of very adamant about not being in a community or being somewhere because she's 71 in April, but she thinks she's 50. Yeah, I know that feeling. Yeah. Well, what would you, if you could just snap your fingers and give her a job today 40 hours a week and everything was just hunky-dory, what would she do? What
Starting point is 00:57:53 would you recommend that she would do just to bring in steady income? She's been a caregiver her whole life, a CNA or an at-home caregiver. She actually left being a CNA to go take care of her mother at the last five years of her life and that's kind of why she's in this position because... Where's your dad? Her dad? Your dad. Oh, my dad. Unfortunately, my dad is not in the picture. He's off doing his own thing somewhere. Divorced a long time ago. Yeah, divorced a long time ago. Okay, all right. Well, so we've, the math will break your stubborn streak. I know, right? 900 bucks doesn't pay for property taxes, insurance on a $175,000 house, and food and lights and water.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Correct. Period. It doesn't do it. Not even in Evansville, Indiana, which is a wonderful community to live in and very inexpensive to live in compared to most places, especially metro areas. So yeah, she could sell her house and buy a $75,000 one-bedroom condo there. Probably, that's probably real. And it probably wouldn't be in the ghetto, right? Probably wouldn't be in the slums. And so, it's not going to be great, but it'll be, you know, at least a place to live.
Starting point is 00:59:17 And renting is not an option, because rent goes up every year and she'll run through her money. It's not going to go up as fast as Social Security. So, she's working. It's not gonna go up as fast as social security. So she's working. That's her only choice. It's her only choice. Well, then how do you navigate the not having insurance then she's gonna be worried about that. Well, you're gonna have to work on talking to,
Starting point is 00:59:40 finding out what Medicare does do in those situations and finding out exactly what the guidelines are. I don't know them off the top of my head, and start talking to insurance agents and finding ways to get care covered. But she, you know, these, she's gonna burn through the money from the house because you can't live on 900 bucks. Right, well, see, she was living off the inheritance
Starting point is 01:00:04 or the money that was left to her from her brother when he passed. But it's going to be gone. Oh, it's almost already gone. That's why she's kind of in this position now. And then the money from the house will be the next thing that's gone. And then we're going to be back in this position because we don't want to admit that 900 bucks won't work it.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Won't work it. Right. And so you don't have a choice. One of you somewhere there's going to be some money into this picture now maybe you start giving her money I don't know or your brother who's a dentist I don't know I made that up but I don't know I don't know who's giving her money but somebody's giving her money so they're gonna give her money to work or kids are gonna support her because she can't make it on that right I just did a quick search while
Starting point is 01:00:41 you guys were talking there are five big box stores in Evansville, Indiana You know them I don't need to say them and then I searched one of the biggest ones and they have a hundred plus jobs right now Available and a 71 year old lady who's healthy who's mature she is I don't know that because I didn't click on probably 20 25 bucks and that's what the math has got to be So I did that search because while Dave was talking if this were my mom and that's what the math has got to be. So I did that search because while Dave was talking, if this were my mom and that's what you call NASDAQ, then I would be going, mom, let's run the numbers and you get into one of those stores, you're probably gonna get some healthcare options. If not, it's still a
Starting point is 01:01:13 math game and more money coming in, but she needs income and I think a healthy 71 with a smile and great work ethic, I think there'd be plenty of big box stores that would love to take care of her. And a caregiver would probably make more than she'd make there. I agree. And probably with the right care organization. Yeah, that was just a quick search. Hospital or whatever, you could get some healthcare.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Right. Great point on any healthcare facilities in the area. Yeah. Okay. Let's check on that. Okay. But I think Mom, she's, I don't know how you help her grasp this, but the math is going to be forced upon her. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:49 And she's going to have to create some income. And the more income she creates, the sooner the bigger chance we can build to be a little bit of a nest egg to make it all the way through this. And not have to work until you're 92, you know. Wow. This is why you're 92, you know. Wow. This is why you invest $100 a month from age 25 to age 65 in a decent mutual fund is $1,176,000 and you don't have that trouble. If you're 25 and you're listening to me,
Starting point is 01:02:16 listen to her story. Hey, listen up. Everyone is at risk of identity theft. I don't care if you're a hermit living off the grid listening to the show on a battery powered radio. All of your data collected by every company you've ever done business with lives online. Your bank, your doctor's office, retailers, the apps on your phone, the gas station where you have loyalty rewards, they all store your info online making them ripe for a cyber attack or data breach. That's why I've been telling people for almost 25 years
Starting point is 01:02:53 they need an ID theft protection plan and the only one I've ever recommended is from Xander Insurance. They monitor your personal and financial info, even your home title, and take over the work if you become a victim. It's the most thorough and affordable plan out there. I even have it for my family and our entire team. Visit zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Hey guys, Dr. John DeLoney here. Finding time to intentionally connect with your spouse can be hard. That's why I'm excited to announce that Money in Marriage Getaway is back! Hang out with me and Rachel Cruz November 6-8 in Nashville, Tennessee. You'll learn practical tools to better communicate, deepen your intimacy, and more.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Plus, we'll dig into your questions with live Q&As. Early bird tickets start at $749 but hurry prices are going up soon and this will sell out. Get yours at Ramsesolutions.com slash events. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality is my co-host on the debt-free stage in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. Andrea is with us. Hi Andrea, how are you? I'm great, how are you? Better than I deserve. Where do you live? I live in Fort Myers, Florida.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Excellent, welcome to Nashville. And here to do a debt-free scream, how much have you paid off? $121,100. All right, very good. How long did that take? 28 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that two and a half years?
Starting point is 01:04:22 85,000 to 135. Wow nice jump in two years. What do you do for a living? I am an insurance agent. Ah okay why did your income go up so much? Well I worked and then also my book of business was growing as time went on. So you just built a business, built a business but you had a real reason. Yeah I paid off my house. Yeah! Whoa, small mortgage and knocked it out. Yeah, sure did. Very cool. What's this house worth in Fort Myers, Florida?
Starting point is 01:04:51 Well, my neighbors are selling theirs next door and it's around the $270. Wow, good for you. Way to go. And how much in your retirement nest egg? $140. And how old are you? I'm 33.
Starting point is 01:05:04 You're a mate. Nope, I lied light I'm 32 that's okay you're rushing this you're just rushing it way to go proud of you you're amazing thank you you have to feel like you have a superpower I do yeah it's it's a great feeling you know you don't realize how much money is going away until you can start keeping all of it what started all this two and a half years ago? You were just kind of going along being normal. Yeah. You were really in good shape. You only had a house payment. True. I mean, I did have debt prior, but I was always trying to get rid of it as much
Starting point is 01:05:33 as possible. And then when I started it, I really felt that I purchased it back in 2019, that it wasn't going quick enough. So I came around you in 2022. So I thought okay, how can I get this going quicker? And I came across you in that summer and then actually shortly after we were affected by Hurricane Ian So before I could go after the house payment, I had to do some repairs You know, and then it wasn't until that new year in 2023 I really started to get aggressive and met making these little goals for me because I just wanted to be done with it and I really wanted to own my own house and be able to do it all. I'm impressed by I mean this is you know about 60,000 a year roughly. Yeah. You really went after it pretty hard. How did that change your
Starting point is 01:06:17 lifestyle and did you have second thoughts about it and if so how did you stay the course? I worked a lot so I couldn't have to spend it. Right. And then what really helped me is the goal that I wanted I started to do too strong of goals to see how close I could get to them but I ended up succeeding on them. So when I was doing the first year I wanted to get under 100 and then I did that with just a couple thousand under. So then I wanted to really be able to do a bigger goal at 50,000, and I thought that was impossible
Starting point is 01:06:48 in a year, so then I surpassed that, but I had these little mini goals throughout the way to make sure I was on track, and just be able to have that accountability that I'm doing it correctly, because I wasn't great at the budget. I just wanted to be able to do each little goal to feel that I'm doing a great job. Love that.
Starting point is 01:07:04 I'm a salesperson, and I know that when I've got something I'm aiming at that I need, that I want the money for, it makes me work a little longer, make four more calls, make sure I answer every single thing. I ring every drop out of the wash rack before I go home because I'm trying to get there on everything. And if I don't have that, then I'm a little bit lazier. And so you were leaning in, weren't you? You were making every stinking closing. I was. You're
Starting point is 01:07:27 closing every deal. So but you the interesting thing is you're 33 and you never really had huge debt. I mean your mortgage is smaller than most people's student loans. Originally it was 151 I bought the house for. Oh yeah. Sorry. killin' me. It was, it was a good time to buy. That was super. So you must have grown up with parents that had common sense. Yeah, I sure did. Okay, who's this over here in the gallery?
Starting point is 01:07:55 That's my grandparents. Okay, so that's where the common sense really came from. Yeah, and my mom's here too. Okay, mom's there. Hi, mom. Here she is. Way to go. Well, they're all here cheering you on because they're real proud of you.
Starting point is 01:08:05 But you're the product of the way they have lived their lives too. Yeah. They taught me everything. Yeah, I mean 33 years old and not over your head drowning in four or $500,000 worth of miscellaneous everything is unusual. You know, but you just had a small one
Starting point is 01:08:21 and then you just killed it, you slayed it. You took a machete to it. You're something man That's so powerful. So you have no house payment. No payments of any kind. You are officially weird Yeah, how does that feel? It feels great. It really does. Um, I didn't think I was gonna be emotional But yeah, it's a it's a great feeling where I just don't have to rely on anything where it's all I have control Yeah in that situation where if something's going wrong, I know I can I I I really love when you said I can't control what's going on the White House, but I can control what's in my house. Yeah, and that meant a lot So sorry, it's okay. No, apologies. That's beautiful
Starting point is 01:09:02 What you're what you're showing is that when you set all this debt down that everyone else is carrying, they're walking around holding their breath. Yeah. And you can breathe. That's all you're showing. And it changes everything. So you're fabulous.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Thank you. You're a rock star, man. I appreciate everything you guys do. You're amazing. I'm so proud of you. Very, very well done. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Set a goal, that's important. I mean the mini and the mini goals the
Starting point is 01:09:27 mini goals yes I didn't have an accountability partner with me but listening to you guys every day was my accountability where I was making sure that I was staying on track and then just having the mini goals knowing that you're still going on that trend because when you're doing a whole year a lot can happen in that year so when I was doing monthly or weekly goals, that's really what helped me get that motivation of I'm doing everything correctly. Yeah, but you're a numbers girl.
Starting point is 01:09:49 Yeah, I am. And so those numbers were your accountability partner. You're looking at them and they're screaming at you. Get after it or you're doing good. They're talking back to you. You know what I love about this, Dave? You've taught for years at Entree Leadership, your number one bestselling book about goal setting
Starting point is 01:10:03 and realistic goals, achievable goals. And I love that's what you've got with these weekly and these monthly. Real curious, give us a real examples. I think people out there that are listening, watching could get something from that. Give us an example of that yearly goal and then break it down on what you did
Starting point is 01:10:17 on a weekly and a monthly. Yep, so then I would just, when I wanted my mortgage to be at 50,000 at the end of the year, I broke it down monthly to every two weeks of where it should be at if I was making extra payments. So I knew by September it had to be at this amount of money if I was going to be on track.
Starting point is 01:10:32 So at the end I knew in 2024 I was going to pay off the house, but then I made another goal to be more aggressive, to have it paid off before my birthday. So I was at least keeping track of where I was at in the year, but I had another line of where I needed to be if I wanted to supersede it earlier in that year And that was so firmly seared into your brain that you forgot how old you were a minute ago By my birthday and you beat your birthday. So you thought you were 33 because it was by my birthday. Yeah, I love it That's good. That's good. I like this. That tells how much emotion you put into this.
Starting point is 01:11:05 Yeah, that's fabulous. Good for you. Thank you. Well done, well done. Man, that's, I put you in a different place. You're a different kind of salesperson now. Yeah, I don't need to make the sale now. Yeah, and you didn't need to before.
Starting point is 01:11:18 Correct. But now you don't have any reason except doing the right thing for the people, making sure they get the right coverage. Yeah, good for you. Well done. Well, I'm sure grandma, grandpa, mom are proud. I'm sure that's why they're here cheering you on. We're proud of you Rockstar. You're a hero. You're absolutely amazing. Andrea? Is it Andrea or Andrea? It's both. No, which is it? Andrea. Andrea. I'll get it right.
Starting point is 01:11:39 Andrea from Fort Myers, Florida. 121,000 paid off in 28 months. You're looking at a millennial with a paid for house. You know how much whining I heard in this discussion? Zero. I'm telling you, the millennials are out there that are awesome and she is a representative of them. There are some of them that are amazing and she's an amazing one.
Starting point is 01:12:03 28 months did this making 85 to 135. Count it down. Let's hear a debt free scream. Three, two, one. I'm debt free. Yeah. Amazing. I've lost hope that I'm ever going to buy a home.
Starting point is 01:12:28 The American dream is dead. I can't buy a home. Well, she just said hold my beer. I mean, come on. Wow. That's done. She just took away all your excuses out there. Some of you.
Starting point is 01:12:41 Some of you can get with it. You can decide I don't have to eat out every night, I don't have to have a fruit fruit pumpkin latte spice double back flip every day. I mean I don't I can do all kinds of stuff, I can do all kinds of stuff if I have a goal. I'm 33 with a paid-for house, what would you do to trade with her? What would you do? Good question. To trade with her. Oh, maybe it's your turn. Yeah, you. This is The Ramsey Show. Running a business is freaking hard.
Starting point is 01:13:18 It's easy to get caught up in the daily challenges and fears that keep you stuck. That's why I want you to reserve your copy of our new book, Build a Business You Love, where we share the proven system that helped us break through those challenges and build Ramsey Solutions from a card table in my living room to a $250 million company in the process. When you pre-order today,
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Starting point is 01:14:23 show is on the Ramsey Network app. It's completely free. There is no paywall. There is no no salesman will call. We're not gonna start charging for it. We use the Ramsey Network app to give you things you can't get anywhere else and we put everything else out here where you can get it for free and so jump on this for free download the app and stay tuned. You guys on radio stay tuned. You'll get what you you've always gotten we haven't changed any of that and you know finish the show in the Ramsey app and you can listen to the whole show in the Ramsey app and watch the whole show in the Ramsey app so it's all there. Hey guys you don't want to miss our
Starting point is 01:14:55 two-night virtual event coming up investing essentials I've only done this one other time. George Kammer and I are getting together and George is doing a deep dive on some of the investing trends that are out there right now some of the details of the Trump tax act That looks like it's going through will know by the time we do it that night if it does go through We'll be able to tell you exactly what that means in your investing if it means anything at all if it doesn't if it doesn't affect It we're not gonna spend much time on it, but we'll go into that I'm gonna open up only for the second time ever I did it about this time last year
Starting point is 01:15:28 We did one of these and I spent a whole two and a half hours on real estate Investing in real estate. I own several hundred million dollars worth of real estate. I've been buying real estate since I was 18 years old I actually went broke in the real estate business later doing stupid stuff. So I know what it looks like I have a PhD in DUMB so yeah I can pass along to you the real-world knowledge there and you know we own several hundred million today so I'm going to show you exactly how to do that I've got a degree in real estate it's what I love it's my second favorite thing to do other than doing stuff around Ramsey and we'll get all we'll get into all of that we're gonna get into whatever if there's
Starting point is 01:16:07 anything at all we don't know yet but we'll see what happens with this tax act if it even passes by then we'll get into that and we're certainly gonna get into all the fads and all the stuff that you hear about and the smart stuff that's out there and the dumb stuff that's out there and show you why and teach you to think properly about investing it's a two-night event. It's a lot of information. We're going to nerd out. If you want to just be entertained and giggle, don't come. You'll be asleep because we're going to go into the weeds, baby, with the sickle and cut the weeds and run the snakes out. That's what we're doing. So you wanted the nerdville. George is natural at it, but I can do it.
Starting point is 01:16:46 I know how to do it. My brain can do it. And so I forced myself for two nights. It's two hours each night, two different sets of materials, March 4th and 5th. Tickets start at $199. You can get them at ramsysolutions.com slash events. It is a virtual event. George Campbell, Dave Ramsey, Investing Essentials, RamseySolutions.com, $1.99 for March 4th and 5th. That's only what, two weeks away or something like that. So you probably ought to go and get like get on the calendar, get signed up. Honey, I'm gonna be doing this. We're gonna be doing this. We're gonna turn it on Apple TV and put it up on the TV and
Starting point is 01:17:21 watch it or however you techno people do that stuff, right? So there we go. Atlanta, Georgia, Luke is with us. Hey Luke, welcome to the Ramsey Show. TV and put it up on the TV and watch it or however you techno people do that stuff. Right. So there we go. Atlanta, Georgia, Luke is with us. Hey, Luke, welcome to the Ramsey show. Hey, thanks for having me on the call. I love the show. My question is 50% of my income is in my housing and I have 190,000 in stock. So should I sell the stock and recast my mortgage
Starting point is 01:17:47 to lower my monthly payment? What do you owe on the house? I owe 402,000. Okay, what do you make? I make, I bring home 6,300 per month before 401k. So you have a lot of money in savings, that's the only way you can breathe. Because monthly, you're choking to death. You're choking to death, aren't you? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:19 Are you married? I have, yeah I am married. My parents and grandparents have been good to me and I have some savings but yeah we're not we're not saving a whole lot each month you're not breathing my income and I mean you I know what your budget looks like it with what you're telling me you have four thousand dollar mortgage and a sixty three hundred dollar home take home I mean you're starving to death yeah yeah it is not a sustainable situation. No, it is not So something's got to go
Starting point is 01:18:49 Is your income going to be changing positively Got a new job and Now I was making 85 now I'm gonna be making 95 and so I'm that 6300 per month is from that 95, my new salary. Okay, what decision-making framework or process allowed you to do something this stupid? Well, um... I mean, you signed up for death here, right?
Starting point is 01:19:19 Right, right. Why? Yeah, my wife had an income as well when we first bought the house. Her income was the same as mine, so it was much better. Then we had two kids and we decided that at some point we would have to either move or increase our income and she wanted to, or we decided that she would stay home with the kids. But we knew that we would have to either move or increase her income for that to happen. And so we're just getting to that point where...
Starting point is 01:19:55 And you didn't do either? You didn't increase your... Well, you increased your income a little, but not enough to where you can breathe. Right. I mean, you lost $80,000 income and gained a $20,000 raise or whatever it is, right? Okay, so the reason I'm digging around here is this. You can fix this with your suggestion. You drop $190 on this and you recast. You're going to have to refinance. It's not recast. They're not going to recast the mortgage unless you got a bank loan but you could go just go get another
Starting point is 01:20:26 mortgage what's your current interest rate? 5.25. Yeah okay so you can get another mortgage and not see much difference there a little bit maybe but it's not not appreciatively different and you'll have a $200,000 loan and you can afford that okay. Now if you do that though you don't get another one of these. Yeah. So you guys really have to do an autopsy on that's why I'm busting your chops on your decision-making because you can't sign up for this and go yeah but I don't want to work anymore. That's not an option. You just sold the house when you went home. Normal people don't have 190k in the bank to bail this out.
Starting point is 01:21:06 So, and you won't next time. So the next time you do this, you're selling the house and moving down in house so she can be at home with the kids. And I'm okay with that decision, but make the decision. Don't stand around and act like nothing happened. And starve to death. Because y'all are starving, man. I know what your budget looks like. I'm sad for you. The stress in your that's running down your shoulder
Starting point is 01:21:26 blades has got to be unbelievable yeah one other question is you know I had had questions about you know what I missed out on gains in the stock and I kind of feel like I shouldn't worry about the gains and missing out on gain than a stock if you know if it's helping with my monthly budget, but how do you feel about that? You can't afford the house. If you want the gains, sell the house and move to a $200,000 house.
Starting point is 01:21:58 Yeah. Which one do you want? I want stability and in a house. I don't really care about the games. Okay. All right. Then you made your choice. But you can't have both. You understand? Yeah. Yeah. You can't keep this house the way it's set right now. Right. It's killing you. Okay. And don't do this again.
Starting point is 01:22:20 Yeah. I listen to this and we hear this a lot. I understand, I understand the wife wanting to come home and be with the children. I concur. Do it. But they should have made the choice on the house back then. They should have put a house for sale sign the yard the day you do it. I agree. You've got to adjust your lifestyle when you adjust your life. In other words, they didn't adjust their lifestyle.
Starting point is 01:22:41 Staying home with the children is the right decision. Yes it is. And so then there's math that goes with that. Okay, I'm with you on that. No problem. But there's math. You can't ignore the math and you don't get a pass on math because you did the right thing.
Starting point is 01:22:54 Math will still smack you upside the head. That's the problem with it. It's mean, it's nasty, it doesn't have feelings. And it will just, oh, it'll mess with you. and then you wake up and you can't sleep and you don't know why. That's right. And you're fighting with your spouse and you don't know why. I know why. Your house payment is 50% of your take-home pay. You can't breathe. And that's what this is what this number one cause of divorce in North America today. Money fights and money problems. And it's all exactly around issues that
Starting point is 01:23:25 do stuff that sound like this. Sweet little people. Luke's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. Sell your house Luke or sell your stock. By Friday. This week, Friday. This is the Ramsey Show. The right questions are the key to unlock personal and professional potential. That means if you're not where you want to be, you are not asking the right questions are the key to unlock personal and professional potential. That means if you're not where you want to be, you are not asking the right questions. I'm Ken Coleman and this is what my new show, Front Row Seat, is all about. Over my career, I've had the distinct privilege to interview successful people from all walks of life and to coach over 10,000 professionals who wanted more. What sets successful people apart is a never-ending desire to learn and grow. Each week I'll be joined by industry leaders and
Starting point is 01:24:48 world-class experts to have a conversation about how to get better, move up, and lead well in work and life. But the best part of this show is you get to be a part of the conversation. Live in studio we'll have a group of professionals just like you who have the power to ask questions and steer the discussion in real time. It's an opportunity to get real answers to real questions, like how to make the right decisions, have hard conversations, live a balanced life, and discover your next steps to grow.
Starting point is 01:25:15 Join us every Tuesday for conversations that are guaranteed to surprise, challenge, and inspire you. Check out Front Row Seat wherever you get your podcasts.

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