The Ramsey Show - Financial Peace Starts With Clear Boundaries

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

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Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Thank you for joining us America. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Jade Wachal, bestselling author. Ramsey personality is my cohost today. So we're gonna take your calls. The phone number's 888-825-5225.

Leona starts off this hour in Fairbanks, Alaska. Hi Leona, how are you? Hey Dave, I'm great. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Okay, so I'm calling because I am pretty newly married. Not my first rodeo. But one of the things I did, I made a mistake of is not doing my financial background check on my new spouse. And so, um, October, we got married in May and October we had realized that we are close to a million dollars in debt.

And um, wait a minute, slow down. Wait a minute. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I got lost in this already who want to make sure i'm with you so your how old i am forty five okay and you've been married before we have you should not first rodeo okay

so you met a guy and you married him and you said it was a mistake to not do a background check no financial check play with you know our conversations about money is what you're saying? I didn't check to see what kind of debt ratio. Did you ask him? No. Oh okay, so you just kind of walked in blindly, he thought you didn't care, turns out you cared. Okay. Yeah. All right. I got and so you've been married for how long? For about nine months, okay, and then you woke up one morning and decided to ask or he decided to tell you what happened I wanted to quit my job. And so in that I wanted I asked him if that was possible We went back and forth. I said I really need to see the budget,

assuming he kept one, and I found out there that he didn't keep a budget. But when I started pulling things together, finding about 17 credit cards, I realized there's no way, and he was heavily reliant on my income as well. How was he making it before you were married? As a bachelor, he was just a heavy spender. If he couldn't make it without your

salary now how was he making it without your salary before you were married? He bought a $500,000 house. Since you were married? My name is not on the title. But since you got married, when did he buy the $500,000 house? August it closed, so we were married. So you're married, you bought a house, okay. You were aware you were buying a house. I was. So $500,000 is owed on the house and you said there's a million dollars. What's the other $500,000? There's about there's another house that he had it's a $300,000 home Just that we were we have it as a rental right now. What's owed on it?

330 okay, so you not know about the rental No, I did you just didn't think about it. All right, 830. Yeah it was just 830,000 and now what's the other $200,000 in debt? He has a HELOC loan and some medical debt and then about a hundred and almost $200 thousand dollars in credit card okay and so what's your question I mean how do I not murder him a it's not his fault it's yours you didn't ask no I know he doesn't get murdered you might but he doesn't great I mean you walked around acting like nothing's happening and he just assumed it was all okay. He's living his life like a, you know, just happy as he can be, happy as a little old clam, and then you came along, wanted to quit your job and he couldn't do it.

So you're the one that didn't do anything. I mean, he's got a mess. There's no question about that. We don't need to murder him. Does he want to clean this up? So far, he's been doing everything. We have a financial peace university coach right now who's helping us untangle a lot of things. Great! So both houses are for sale? No. Well they need to be. Okay. Y'all are broke people.

Yeah. Because I'm guessing there's a little bit of equity in these houses you can use to clean up this stupid but credit card mess. This guy spends like he's in Congress. Hey, by the way, what do you guys earn? What's the income between the two of you? About $200,000. You can dig through it pretty quick then. You might even get to keep the house you're living in, but the rental needs to go immediately. Yeah. And that's where the HELOC's laying too, right? I think the HELOC is on a new house, but both my, our coach and I are both confused about

that. It's just, it's just messy. Okay. And so number one, the two of you, next time you meet with the coach, you have to raise your right hand and swear before the judge, I promise to never do anything with money ever again without my spouse knowing it. Both of you. Both of you. You do not have the right to act surprised after this point. Up to this point. Because you walked into it begging for a surprise.

But now after from today on, he doesn't make any moves anymore. Because he's really not good with money. We really can't trust his judgment he's really sucks at this and honestly you're lucky that he agreed to go through financial peace and yeah has the wherewithal to want to change it yeah you got lucky there yeah I think you guys get on a beans and rice budget you sell the rental follow what the coach is telling you you may have to sell the big house, you may not. How much you owe on your stupid cars? Um, so that's messy. His wife passed and there are two vehicles. There's one vehicle in her name and a motor home in her name. And so... Was the dad in her name? Yes. Okay. But he kept the rest of the estate too, right? Yeah, so it's not messy. Both of those need to get sold yesterday.

Did he not probate a will or probate the estate? No, he didn't. He just actually told the bank like two weeks ago that she passed away two years ago. He just what? He just now told the bank that she passed away. Yeah, so the bank is pretty upset right now. So he's had the stuff in possession for two years. So this level of denial and deception that he has lived his whole life in has to change or your marriage is not going to work.

And this level of not bothering to ask and walking around with your head stuck in the clouds the way you do it, that has to change or your marriage is not going to work. So the two of you have to commit to a clean, clear way of living where we're not deceiving each other or anyone else. All right, and you can get these two cars sold. And do you have any debt on the two cars you guys are driving? Well, the HELOC somehow has his truck wrapped into it. No, it doesn't. They just use the HELOC to buy the truck, that's all. Okay. But, so how expensive is his truck? I think it was

like $18,000 that he paid. He told me he paid off. That's not too bad. I'm not sure I believe it though. All right so yeah you guys just got to dig in clean all the you know get all the tangles out of the hair get everything straight and then decide what you're gonna cut how much of a hair how much hair you're gonna have left after you finish this haircut and then you got to be clean with each other and everybody else quit hiding stuff both of you. Wow what a mess girl this is the Ramsey Show. What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get ten

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with us in Jackson, New Hampshire. Hi Joni, how are you? Well, as you say, better than I deserve, much better. Good. How can we help today? Well, and my dad used to say advice is worth what you pay for it. So that was fun to start the show off with that. Okay. So I, my daughter's two 40-h years old daughters, and I co-own a cabin that's across the road from my house where I I've lived at this house for 40 years and, um, we bought the cabin five years ago, you're all three on the deed. And as you said, a few weeks ago, never go into business with anyone. One reason being that they will have different interests from you.

And that's what we're facing. Um, I'd like to move from my home to the cabin, um, which needs some serious work to make it livable. Um, and my daughter is one of them wants to just do as little as possible and make it into a seasonal rental. And the other one wants that also, but she doesn't want me to have a home there because she can deny it. Uh, because we all have to agree since we're co-owners, um, we all have

to agree on work done there and about 20 years ago she was doing a bunch of bad stuff and I had told her if you keep this up you're gonna have to leave. So I had to kick her out of the house and she wants to punish me for that. So the way you handle that, you have a daughter that wants to punish you and you decide to buy a cabin with her. It wasn't. You bought the cabin five years ago, 20 years ago you kicked her out. Well five years ago when the cabin came up for sale the owner wanted to sell it to my daughters and so they on paper bought it. I paid 200,000 for it.

So I paid for the taxes and the purchase price and all of the repairs that we have done. So they put no money in it? Excuse me? They put no money in? Right. Oh gosh. And I bought my house 40 years ago for $29,000. And do you guys have any kind of written agreement on this at all?

We have one agreement that they came up with that says we all have to agree on any work that's done. Did you sign that? Yes. Why? I don't know why you sign that? Yes. Why? Why did you? I don't know. I don't know why you did any of this. If you had $200,000, buy the cabin, don't buy the cabin, why did you put them on here knowing that this is going to be, that this one daughter is

going to be a problem from day one? I didn't. I didn't know that and that yeah you did. The seller would not sell it to me alone. She wanted to sell it to my daughters. Why? So I had no, we either wouldn't get the cabin or the girls would both be on the deed. What was initially the use of the cabin when you first bought it? Did you buy it? Cause you said, you know what, I'm going to move in here and everybody knew that, or was the initial purpose of the cabin to rent it out to someone, someone else?

It was me moving up. There was an option. We didn't talk about any plans. I started doing little bits here and there, having a cabin chinked, making sure the roof was good. Okay. Joni, let me ask you this. How old are you?

I bought it to protect the value of my house. Joni, let me ask you this. How old are you? I bought it to protect the value of my house. So that we're surrounded by National Forest. And I bought my house for $29,000. Now it's worth a million. Joni, how old are you? Seventy. Seventy. Okay. You have made a mess. That's right. This is a mess. Okay. And you're really

left with only a couple of options. One is to convince your daughters to deed the property over to you given that they put no money in it to start with and they have no rights to this morally or ethically. Okay, this is an absurd deal. You should not have done this deal. It was a dumb deal, it was a bad deal. You set yourself up to get punched in the nose, now you're getting punched in the nose. So now the only thing you can do with this

is you can convince them to deed it over to you or you can hire an attorney and sue them and force the sale of the cabin and show the judge that they put zero dollars into this and then at least you get your 200,000 back before there's anything split at the sale. Now you get to decide are you going to be able to convince them that you guys are all stupid? What you've done here is all stupid. You're not stupid stupid. What you've done here is all stupid. You're not stupid, but what you've done is ridiculous. It's a horrible plan

and your daughters are horrible. That they took a third of this knowing that they didn't get along with their 70 year old mother and she paid a hundred percent of it. That's kind kinda like being a thief, okay? That's kinda what that's like. So I don't really like your daughter as much. And this is not gonna be easy. And so I don't know that you're gonna be able to convince these two dweebs to turn the thing over to you.

And I'm afraid you're gonna be faced with a judge to do it or you've just gotten screwed out of 200,000 because you've lost control of this because you've got a two to one vote and the deed doesn't have any restrictions on it whatsoever. You've got three people and they have two of the votes. So, but a judge can untangle this and a judge can force the sale of the cabin

and give you $200,000 at the sale. One other option on the persuasion side you could do is you can offer the dweeb some money to go away. I'll give you $25,000 a piece if you've got it or whatever, sign the deed over to me. Which is immoral, thievery, blackmail, whatever you want to call it, but it's gonna be cheaper than court. She's not gonna to like them much after that though. Well I don't like them, so it's easy to not like them. I mean, they're not likeable.

That's right. Who does this to their parents? I don't know. It's weird. You threw me out of the house 20 years ago, so the only way I'm going to get back at you is I'm going to get you to pay full price for a cabin that I own one third of and then I'm not going to let you do anything. Good God. This is terrible. How four-year-old is this? Needs counseling.

Unbelievable. So yeah, some people's children. But the yeah, guys you cannot enter into these things wide-eyed open and expect you know a crocodile to do anything but bite your leg off. Crocodiles is what they do. I just can't understand that, even if they liked each other, right? It's a dumb. What would be ever the purpose of going into something? Like it makes no sense.

If she was gonna move into it anyway, just buy the house for herself. Well, the guy wouldn't sell it to her, which is weird. Yeah, that's weird too. There's a lot of weird here, but yeah. Johnny, I'm sorry. I wish I had a magic wand to make your pain go away but your pain is not a cabin your pain is your daughter's and

that's what you're gonna have to deal with one way or another. Probably the cheapest way to do this is just buy the dweebs out and get them to sign it over. Just you know it's a dweeb fee it's a stupid tax fee and I do something stupid that costs me money Johnny I call it stupid tax fee and I do something stupid and it costs me money. Johnny, I call it stupid tax. You're probably going to pay some stupid tax here. You are going to pay some stupid. They better not ask for a third. You're going to pay a lawyer. Well, they'll ask for it.

You know, these do well, so you're going to pay a lawyer. You're going to pay the dweebs or you're going to lose your 200,000. These are your three weight. You're, but you're going to lose money. You're going to lose money. Something's going on here. I'm paying a lawyer that if it's me, I'm paying a lawyer. I don't, I don't want to fool with these girls anymore.

It's your kids. They're dweebs to quote a well-known philosopher. That's terrible. I feel bad, but. You know, I was doing a thing with some wealthy people the other day and they were all worried. They were saying, you know, how do I raise my children when we have wealth and then the wealth doesn't ruin them?

And I told them, I said, the wealth won't run them. It's just going to expose if you did. If you run them, the wealth's just going to give you the exposure to that. It's going to magnify. Because whatever goes on that's in a family is magnified when it gets wealth. In other words, the crazy gets super crazy. But I mean, this is all tied to $200,000 worth of thievery here. Joni, I am so sorry.

Your heart must be broken. Mine's broken for you, I'm angry for you. I just can't do anything about it. Except pray all about it. This is the Ramsay Show. Remember the good old days of the internet before it was a privacy nightmare filled with spammers, scammers, hackers, and fraudsters?

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Hi. Darlie, I said I can't, I'll get it right eventually. It is Darlie, how are you? Is it Dar- Dar- Dar-Leah? Hi. Dar-Leah. I said it. I can't- I'll get it right eventually. It is Dar-Leah, correct? Yes. Okay. How can we help? Hi. Um, thank you for taking my call. Sure. Um, so my in-laws loaned us $40,000 last year, um, uh, at 4.5% interest rate for five years. Oh my gosh. So we could buy a house on a loan assumption. Oh Lord. And that loan assumption came at a rate of 3.125%. So we couldn't let that pass by. So instead of going to the bank to get 40,000,

we loaned it from that while they offered to loan it to us. And we took them up on that offer. So I had a baby in December, and so now I'm staying at home, but before I had the baby and I'm staying home now, we got that loan down to $22,401 because we're kind of following the baby steps while we're trying to. So now I'm not working. My husband is a little iffy about going under $10,000 because currently we have $25,000 in savings and I'm kind of suggesting, oh, should we just wipe out the loan with them what does he make? He makes $76,000 a year. Are you living on a written budget with

the EveryDollar app? Spreadsheet and all you said very much in control of every dollar. Very much we know where every single penny goes. Okay so you said you're trying to follow the baby steps right? So yeah well wait a minute. I mean he's just nervous about going under $10,000 yeah but the big emergency comes. Yeah, it's his parents nervous about it He probably feels comfortable because it's his parents. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter You're feeling it and you're feeling it for good reason for two reasons a it's debt and your body's gonna feel debt and then two It's debt that you owe to in-laws like let's not's not make this. Thanksgiving dinner tastes different when you eat with your master and the borrower is slave to the lender.

That's right. Let's not make a complex situation more complex by adding debt to it, right? So yeah, if you guys have agreed, this is the financial plan that we're following, then I'd hold them to that and I'd say, listen, if we say we're following the baby steps, we need to pay off this debt and then rebuild our savings.

That's what the steps say, that's what the plan is. We said we're following in the baby steps. We need to pay off this debt and then rebuild our savings. That's what the steps say. That's what the plan is. We said we are following that. And I don't feel comfortable with this debt. As your wife, I don't feel comfortable owing your parents. And if for no other reason, this should matter because of that, right? Yeah, I've told him that.

And he definitely understands. They're amazing people. We're not questioning their character. You don't need to tell me three times They're amazing people. We're not questioning their character. You don't need to tell me three times they're amazing people. This was a stupid but idea and y'all need to clean it up. It was dumb. You shouldn't have done it, but you did it. And now you have the opportunity to clean it up. Don't do it again. You call so many people dumb that now I'm appreciating that I've gotten to that level. You're part of the club! I didn't say, I did not say you are dumb. I said the idea and what you did was dumb.

There's a difference. Yeah. I am not dumb and I have done some dumb butt things in my life. Quote dumb butt decision. That's what it is. I have done it. I have done it. So you guys clean this up. Get it out of your it. I have done it So you guys clean this up get it out of your life You can feel it and you can it this is not an indictment of saying your parents are bad Our parent laws are bad people. They're wonderful people. They were trying to be helpful They were helpful in a bad way, but they were helpful. They're trying to be sweet They're trying to get you what you want in life, and they're not being mean They're not calling you every week and looking at your budget and judging you they're not

control freaks you didn't bring up any relationship issues these are not bad people that is not what the point is the point is you have $22,000 in debt and you have $28,000 or $26,000 or whatever it is in your account write a check today and pay it off that's the point yeah yeah If it was on a credit card it'd be the exact same thing that we'd say that was a stupid but decision you shouldn't have done that. Now clean it up. It's a little you got the money there write a check. It's just it just complicated it makes the more drama to the conversation because it's the in-laws. And think about it like this you know your life has

changed since you took that loan now you're staying home with a child that's an income that's gone. You have to ask yourself, okay, if we keep this debt around, what happens if there's another major life change? What if your husband loses his job? What if he's laid off? So there's a lot of variables here that a lot of times we don't let our brain think about

because it's not pleasant. But when you carry debt, you are holding risk. I don't care who it's to, because Dave talked about Thanksgiving dinner tasting different, it would taste a lot worse and we're not gonna be at the two or three thousand dollar level in this but for about ten minutes right this account because you're gonna immediately start adding money to it correct oh yeah right yeah how much would you add to it a month how much would you add to it a

month without having these payments seven About $700 a month. Okay. And he's expecting a bonus soon and hopefully a promotion soon. Yeah, and a lot of that will go to... So you're going to be, like by September, you're going to be right back up where you need to be, right? Well, we're going to be down to like $3,000 after we pay it. And you got a bonus and you got 700 bucks a month. And 700 bucks a month if you don't have this

payment or currently 700 bucks a month? If we don't have the payment 700 a month. All right. Yeah. And it does freak them out because we were doing, we were following the baby steps when I was working and I went And when I found out I was pregnant, we were essentially just dumping money to this loan to them. And it freaked them out. They were like, what are you doing? I'm not concerned about them freaking out. That's their problem.

If they didn't want you to repay it, they should have made it a gift. They shouldn't freak out. They ask you to pay them back, you're paying them back. Stop with the drama. Just write them a check. Pay them back, be done with it. And please don't do this again.

Terrible. It's just, I'm telling you guys, there's, I'm telling you guys there's the I've in the 30-something years I've been doing this some of the saddest stories are the ruined relationships because somebody did something like loan their kid 25 or 30 or $50,000 to buy a house and then something goes sideways something gets out of hand and all of a sudden everybody's on torqued up and twisted up and formerly nice sweet people aren't for some reason and I just it's bad y'all you're asking it's like if borrowing money on a credit card to do this is stupid just make it stupid times two to do it with your in-laws all right

because you're just and again I'm not calling you stupid. I'm saying what you did was stupid. Because I don't call people stupid, except people in the financial world that tell you to do stupid things. But you people that were trying to help, I'm not gonna, our job to help you heal is to tell you the truth.

You don't want the doctor to go, you know, I think this little bit of cancer is gonna be okay, why don't we just leave it there? You want them to say, no! Get it out. Get it, stupid! Try sunscreen, boy! You know, I mean, seriously, right?

And golly! So you want people to tell you the truth if they're gonna be healers. And we're not gonna hold back. We're gonna tell you exactly what it is because we got a lot of people to help and we love ya and we want you to win. And that includes

Darlia in Fredericksburg, Vince, Virginia. But Dave, there's so many people who they are sitting on savings while they've got debt sitting over there in the corner and the thought is I don't like the risk of not having savings, but they don't entertain the other side of the equation, which is you must not care that much about risk because you've got debt because you've already offset it you know your balance sheet still represents a broke person that's right the math has to math you know I don't want to I don't want to be down less than $10,000 well try going in the debt using up all your money then right you know that's a good way to solve that mm-hmm so and by the way you can pass up any housing deal it's too

good to pass up no it's not not if you can't afford it no it's, you can pass up any housing deal. It's too good to pass up. No it's not. Not if you can't afford it. No it's not. You can pass up a deal on that Bentley too, because you can't afford it. Help you with that. That Louis Vuitton, that $83,000 purse. You can pass that one up. You can pass it up if you can't afford it. It's too good a deal. No, you can pass it up. It's possible. I see people do it all the time. This is The Ramsey Show. I've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah and what's so hard is I

feel like one of those especially the ones that I'm like oh it's terrible air people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I going to pay my bills in the middle of all that grief, it's terrible. Life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much.

You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You got to say it out loud and you got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinking pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4 eight two are go to zander dot com jade wash all ramsey personality is my cohost today open phones a triple eight eight two five five two two five jeanies with us in new jersey hygiene how are

you i gave in june how are you better than i deserve what's up uh... i mean i think a little bit of encouragement and some clarification on something I heard you say a couple of days ago or weeks ago I can't remember I am baby step three I am struggling with getting rid of that last credit card because I want to buy a house next year and I do want to do the manual underwriting but you mentioned something about um you're like having a credit card is more even if you're not using it is more damaging than not having it

i want my score to be indeterminable but can that happen if i have a credit card still open on it no i cannot just tell me to cut it up no cut it up you you cannot cannot be indeterminable indeterminable while you have open credit accounts. Anything? Even if there's zero balances, anything. Yes. Everything has to be completely closed and zero balance.

Okay. As long as it's open, it's still reporting, even if it's reporting a zero, a zero balance. Okay. I'm already in touch with Churchill so we're going through stuff but I couldn't understand what you had you explained it before the other day and I just wanted some... The damage is is that what you end up with when you have one credit card open and a zero

balance and no other credit accounts of any kind you're gonna end up with a low credit score because you have almost no credit. That's what it amounts to. Even though it's not bad, it's just you don't have any. You'd be like a 20-year-old or something that just got their first card and the only thing they have in their whole life, they're not going to have a high credit score with one credit card. You know?

And that's back where you are and that's what you're setting up. Because the algorithm is based on how you interact the algorithm that creates the credit score is based on how you interact with Credit it's not based on anything else And so if you have zero if you have zero interaction with credit, then that's when you have an indeterminable a zero credit score Jeannie you said you're nervous. Are you nervous because you're unsure of your credit score dropping to zero when you cut this up? Are you nervous because now you won't have this credit card in your life?

Where's your nerves coming from, specifically? I think the nerves are coming from just having that cushion or thinking I have a cushion. And I don't want to think that, but I just, I'm struggling with myself. It's just a battle. It is a battle. Look, I'm gonna validate that because the credit card companies that's what they tell us

They tell us you can't exist without us. You need us to prop up your life You can't spend with that. They tell they've been telling us this for decades. Don't leave home without leave home without And I'm 53 so I just started this in in January I'm just like, you know, I've been that stuff has been drilled in me a long time And you're single. Yes. And so you're you feel vulnerable. You feel a little bit vulnerable for that reason. Mm-hmm Yeah, and um, yeah that that's very normal But what that tells us is and that I went through this, you know spiritually myself some 30 years ago It tells me what I'm counting on.

What is, in a sense, not a true spiritual sense, but in a sense, what is my God? What is my provision? Oh my gosh. You know? Okay, I'm going to do it, y'all. It's so good. But I mean, that's what I had to cope with. Who's providing for me?

Yeah, I don't like the way you put that. I know, but that's what I had to cope with. I went, who's providing for me? I don't like the way you put that. I know, but I, I, that's what I had to have here in my head. And it wasn't like a golden calf worshiper. I'm not saying that. That's not what you're doing. But the thing is this, I figured out, I really can't count on them to make my life good. I can count on me and my hard work and my diligence and discipline and wisdom. And I can count on God providing for me, my hard work and my diligence and discipline and wisdom and I can count on God providing for me, my Heavenly Father who is crazy about me. I can count on those two things but I 100% can't count on Wells Fargo. Look.

Exactly. That's a word. That's it. And that's, you know, who is my provider and that's what they've done. They've gotten their tentacles around their claws around that portion of our heart Yeah, that says don't leave home without don't leave and then it turns out Daniel Boone did What's all right? He did okay, you know, yeah, we got a lot bankrupt, but anyway, but yeah Instead of relying on credit and credit scores. I just like give yourself credit. Give yourself credit that you can Handle your own money. Give yourself credit that you can budget and you're a big girl and a boy

How that word is interchangeable it is Credit as in I'm gonna go in debt or I'm gonna give myself credit cred Street cred I'm gonna give myself Cred. Street cred. I'm going to give myself the belief in myself. Whew! I'm putting that in the quick read. And that's what I'm thinking. Yeah.

You know, I, but that's why the credit cards have, and the FICO score, really, when we talk about this, don't worship at the altar of the great FICO. Yeah. Oh, great FICO, provider of all good things. We bring you offerings of interest so that you give us a bigger score that has nothing to do with nothing except how much we play kissy face with the bank.

And we really, this is our provider. Oh FICO, good old FICO. And I think of these bad B movies with like a pyramid with flames coming out of the top and the face made out of stone and the smoke coming out the ears. Great FICO! Oh, great FICO!

We worship you! Like we're Mayans or something. Oh my God, give me a break. No, none of that. Yeah. But I mean, not picking on her, but that's where I was too. I get it. We were convinced the best

way to become wealthy is to go in debt, stay in debt by the people who want you to go into debt and stay in debt. Yeah. They've convinced us of that. The borrower is truly slave to the lender. Good. Hey, another one down. She's going to cut it up, Jade. We did it. She's going to do it. She's going to do it. Kyle's in Spokane. Hey, Kyle,'s up? Yes sir, I'm happy to speak with you Mr. Ramsey and Mrs. Walshaw today. I have a quick question. My wife and I are on Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6. We recently sat down with a few of your SmartVestor pros, all of whom are excellent. Good. We've narrowed it down to two. Good. But there's one big difference between them. They'd both be

great to work with but I hope to get some guidance. One is strictly fee-based they assess 1% of the account value annually and that would decrease by a few tenths as the account increases in value. The second is commission-based where it's three and a half percent of all new money invested. In the long term, it seems like the fee based approach would be way more expensive, but he argues that commission based guys may use mutual funds with higher maintenance fees to kind of compensate themselves. That would not be true of a smart vester.

Someone that has integrity would not do that. So a smart vester that is wanting to charge you. I buy commission based, but most people do manage funds like you're talking about. The vast majority of our SmartVestor pros are manage funds or the 1% plan, okay? The vast majority of them are. But there's nothing inherently

automatically bad about one or the other. And you're right, technically you will come out cheaper with the commission base than the managed base. Technically. Okay, over the scope of your life. Okay, mathematically. But neither one is a ripoff. Both are worth the money and so like, like I'm pretty sure for instance Rachel and Winston have theirs on the 1% plan and I do the old-fashioned the old the old-fashioned commission plan that's more of an old-fashioned style okay but it is cheaper they're called a shares you're buying a shares and the

most you'd get charged is five and three quarter on the front end. And then nothing after that, nothing ever after that. And so what's it take? It takes five and three quarter years to break even on that, right? And so after that you're making money. So 10 years in you make, but either one or five, neither one are gonna keep you from getting rich. Having a good financial advisor is gonna make you rich

because they're gonna keep you in the game. They're going to have the heart of a teacher. And I wouldn't turn around and spit for the difference. If I were you, I wouldn't pick it based on that. I would instead pick it based on which one of these two your wife likes best. Okay. That's good advice right there. Which one did she like best?

Which one did she like best? It's the feed-based. Then go with that. Okay. She just likes that guy the best. Well he is handsome I'll give him that much. Oh I didn't mean that. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. No that's not a reason to pick him either. Otherwise no one would ever listen to my advice. I was about to say. Hey, you weren't about to say that. No, I was about to say. I know Dave is not talking about.

Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my. Who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her and he will have no lack of gain. This is the Ramsey Show. Hey guys, I've never done this before, but I'm partnering with a nutrition company, Field of Greens. Each fruit and vegetable in Field of Greens is selected by doctors to support heart, liver, and kidney health, plus metabolism for healthy weight.

And your doctor will notice your improved health or field of greens will give you your money back I can get behind a promise like that go to field of greens comm slash Ramsey and get 15% off with promo code Ramsey field of greens comm slash Ramsey live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Jay Washall, Ramsey personality, best selling author is my co-host today as we take your calls about your life and your money. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Jack starts

this hour in Cincinnati. Hey Jack, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey Dave, how are you this afternoon? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I've dug myself a hole and I don't know what the right answer is. I probably do know what the right answer is, but I don't know how to get out of it. Okay. what happened? Well, to make a long story short, my wife and I got married two years ago after dating for about six years. We waited till all the kids were out of high school and we could combine households a little more

easily. After a big wedding, we started trying to pay stuff off, but the minute we got home from the honeymoon and when business became, when it became the business of a relationship, the relationship changed and that's where the problem lies. So in the process of paying stuff off last July, we decided because we weren't making any progress on the credit cards, we made a really wise decision to take a 401k loan for $50,000 payable in two years to pay it off. But now the credit cards are coming back. So I've got a list if you want a list, but just not sure what to do with it. so your core question is what

how do i fix this and fix my and keep my marriage okay alright so you've got a total of how much debt uh... hundred twenty and fifty is a four oh one k now and 50 is a 401k now 35 left that's correct 35 of the 120 okay 35 of that 401k is left okay yeah there's 35 of your 120 is a 401k loan what is the

other 85,000 okay so we've got a credit card with 11-8 credit card with 7200 credit card with 19-2 credit card with 2900 two cars at 31-8 and 22-4 my daughter's car at 2900 which will be paid off very shortly and a trailer for my losing business at 4300. Okay. What's your household income? About200. Okay. What's the losing business? What's that mean? So the fund in early retirement, I have a woodworking business that I do on the side. It's taking up six to eight hours a night and every weekend and in the last two years we've lost about $10,000 a year. Okay, so that sounds like an expensive hobby that's taking up a bunch of money and a bunch of time both. That's kind of an easy decision isn't it? I need the eight hours to spend on my

marriage, I need the $10,000 to spend on something else Rather than a losing business close it and sell off the stuff. Why wouldn't you do that? I could yeah, you could You'd have eight hours to spend on your marriage and you said you're spending eight hours a night on this to spend on your marriage. You said you're spending eight hours a night on this? Yeah, I'm normally in my shop until between 9 and 10 o'clock every night. Yeah, that's good for marriage. Yeah. Okay. And especially since you're not making any money. I mean, if you were making $10,000 a night or something, she'd probably be tolerant. But, okay, so you have a $200,000 income. You have cars coming out your ears,

credit cards coming out your ears. Now the credit cards are growing back. So that tells us that you guys continue to spend more than you make. If the credit cards are growing back, right? Yeah, you took the HELOC out for the credit cards. Tell me what you're spending this money on. Is this just putting food on the table?

Is this funding your business? What's going on on these credit cards? So three three of those cards are funding the business One of them goes away in a week because I made a big sale Did you cut them up yet? There they're put away they're not cut off. Okay, there's the problem. No, okay. No, there's a different problem. I disagree the two of you have not sat down and said with a written budget that we're going to live on less than

$200,000 a year. Why? To be honest we have but then something always comes in. So you just didn't stick to it? Pretty much. So an example of something that comes in is what? A $4,000 collection item from Verizon from four years ago that we didn't know was coming. Or a foreclosure for her and her ex-husband on timeshare of all things that paid immediately

because his credit doesn't need to be affected. I'm sorry. I know timeshare is your favorite word. No, I don't understand why his credit matters to you. Well, she was obligated to pay it in the divorce. Oh, okay. So she knew she had that and the Verizon bill was hers too? Yes. So she knew she had that. She just didn't know when they were going to drop. But she knew these were unpaid bills and if she's an adult

I'm missing something here Jack Okay, I don't understand why this is ending your marriage because the two of you can't get on the same page or what? What's the problem? so the Distress of the bills is weighs heavy And we go out and we go out and we do, we go to like a craft show on the weekend

and we make a little bit of money and all of a sudden we're all in and we're ready to go take this business into early retirement. But by Tuesday when it rolls around and we're back out in the shop, it's oh holy cow, we gotta make, we gotta work again.

So you just have a short term. That's your side hustle. Right. You have a $200,000 income and the two of you can't decide to live on that. That's what's confusing to me. I think that your mindset is there's some place in your brain where you think you can kind of windfall yourself out of this. Whether it's, hey, we'll just take out the HELOC and that'll be our windfall to get out of this, even though it's not.'s, hey, we'll just take out the HELOC and that'll be our windfall to get out of this, even though it's not, or, hey, we can go to these craft shows

and maybe we can make enough money to get a windfall and get out of this. And I think what Dave is getting at is you guys haven't truly looked at your behavior together as a team. If you set a course and say, we're going to do this, no one else can make you follow that course of action other than the people in the mirror. And that's what we're getting at is... So Jack, if you wanted to like be like drum have some dramatic moves forward, okay?

I can give you four things right now that if you go do them by the end of the time you do those which should be within two weeks, you're gonna have a completely different scenario in your life. Sell both cars, sell the trailer, get out of the woodworking business, sit down with your spouse and do a written detailed budget where the two of you live on less than your day income and you guys can clean this mess up in no time. But you're you know you're screwing around with craft shows losing $10,000 a year in eight hours a night and losing your butt and you can't sit down and manage to make it through a $4,000 bill making $200k.

So you can do this but you got two stinking expensive cars, you got a stinking expensive hobby that you wish was a business and the two of you aren't working together. That's the answer right? Those four things. Hang on, we're going to put you through financial peace university, see if we can help you too. This is the ungun, a less lethal option that protects you in more ways than one. A Berna is effective self-defense when you need it. It also helps protect your assets from lawsuits if you have no choice but to use force, because a Berna pistol immobilizes attackers without fatal harm. I have several Berna pistols and I love them. In fact, I had a Berna before they started advertising with us. They're easy to use

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go to Berna.com slash Dave to learn more. That's B-Y-R-N-A dot com slash Dave. Hey guys, no matter what your goals are in 2025, our New Year's sale has tools and resources you need to get the year started strong, with prices starting at just $9.99. Whether you want to make progress with your money, grow in your career, or create a more peaceful life, you can achieve your goals. And these books and products can help. Shop the New Year's sale now at ramsysolutions.com slash store.

That's ramsysolutions.com slash store. Jade Walshaw, Ramsey Personality is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Hey folks, we know a lot of people who tune into every single episode that we do. Thank you for that. And you know all the answers. You can answer the questions faster than we can. But you're still stressed.

You're still stuck. Why is that? Because it turns out knowing what to do isn't the deal. Doing it is the deal. You can know what to do and not do it and have no success whatsoever. Thus the problem with only knowing. Application is part of wisdom and the proven way to change your behavior with money is by taking Financial Peace University. It's our nine-week class or nine or nine lesson class, a lot of people do it in nine weeks, you get with a superhero called a coordinator that will encourage you and

hold you accountable, act as your personal trainer as you go through and you're in a class either virtually or in a group class over to church. That's why this class has worked for over 10 million people and after nine weeks you will never handle money the same way again. The typical person has an $8,000 turnaround in 90 days. That's right, they typically pay off $5,300 in debt in the first 90 days and save $2,700 in the first 90 days. $8,000 is a pretty good turnaround. That's a call to ROI return on investment.

Financial Peace University, check it out. RamseySolutions.com slash FPU. RamseySolutions.com slash FPU. Kalandra is with us in Shreveport. Hey Kalandra, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you for having me. Certainly, how can we help? I have a question about baby step number one and I kind of want you to give me a bit of a critique on if you think I'm a little serious about this tonight. All right, what's going on? Okay, so I am halfway through baby step number one working on saving that thousand dollars. And unfortunately in my city, well really in all of Shreveport,

Bozier and some of the architects, our power was out. And so I had to throw away my whole fridge basically and refill it and it set me back a bit. But that's not really here nor there, the electricity's back on. Great. But it's like every time I start to save my money here nor there the electricity is back on. Great. But, um,

it's like every time I start to save my money, if something like this happens to me and I'm not really complaining about it, I'm a little frustrated, but I am starting to wonder if maybe I just am not making enough money. What do you make? Even get to that step. Uh, right now I'm making $2,000 a month. I live really, really cheap. I don't have a lot of expenses, but I do have a ton of debt.

I am making, like I said, 2,000 a month. I pay $650 a month for my rent. Couple hundred dollars a month, like $237 a month for my car, plus another $100 for my insurance, $100 for my car with another one hundred dollars my insurance Mm-hmm hundred dollars for my phone You know things like that. How old are you? 26 yeah For the critique this is I do want you to make more money, but specifically for baby step one

You got like the thing the thing that's gonna keep life from happening to you on this and you know, you take one step forward, two steps back, it's speed. You've gotta come in like a wrecking ball and just bull through this. I mean, you're selling stuff, you're going so hard in the paint. Most people save this within 30 days. Like that, I wanted to ask you,

how long have you been on Baby Step One? Yeah, about $2,000. You can't do it with $2,000. That's what I'm saying. She's gotta go, she's gotta pick up all the work, do all the things, the babysitting, the house cleaning. What do you do for a living? I'm a banker.

I work at a bank. Full time? Mm-hmm. Doing what? I'm just a teller at the I'm not like one of those specialists or anything like that. I just got this job like two months ago. High school education? Yep I'm back in college. I'm going for my associates in business and then I will get a better paying job and then I will continue on with my bachelor's in business. How are you paying for the associates?

Actually my job is paying for it. Great, great, great, great. Yeah, so there's a path. You have a path in front of you to earning more. Which is good, but for the here and now, we've got to find ways to earn more. And I'm not saying that I like that you're on a path to earning more, but you got to pick up more hours somehow. Maybe not, obviously, maybe not at the bank. I'm not sure what they offer there. Let me ask you something. Okay, when you took the banker job or the

teller job at the bank, obviously you were looking for work at that point. What were you doing before that? Before that I was a full-time artist, painter, and muralist. I was teaching part-time job uh... teaching art to children and like uh... okay so you took the let me see if i can get in your head for a second did you take this job part-time job did you let me see if i can get in your head a second did you take this job to

uh... because it felt like it was like you were like being an artist you might have felt a little bit irresponsible part time and all that this is like a responsible big girl job I'm going to get on a track here to build a career. No, you actually took that job because of I took that job because back in the day I was in school for graphic design and I was paying for everything out of pocket. I'm the first person in my family to go to college and when I reached out to get support for not only my family but for my counselors as well,

I didn't really get a lot of good support. I didn't get very much feedback and I was doing everything on my own and then- I think you're amazing. The thing I'm thinking about is I would like for you to do something that maybe is not as... I don't know. I'd like for you to make twice as much money at something that doesn't sound as fun as banking or sound as professional as banking. If you were to clean houses and make $48,000 or you can be a teller

and be $24,000, I'll take the clean houses right now. Okay, look you're creative. You have a skill set and you have an offering that the average person can't do. There is a way that you can monetize that in some way and make more money per hour than you're doing right now You're you're wholeheartedly. I Applaud your move in the direction you're going and I applaud all the decisions you're making I think you're an incredible young lady. It's fun talking to you I would like for you to find a way to make a have a job that might not make

Everybody around you think you're cool or proud or whatever, but don't give a crap that makes more money right now. You need some more money. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. If you could go make $48,000 on your day job and make another $20,000 on your side job teaching art to kids and create some kind of a mentoring program or some kind of a tutoring program or something along those lines.

Summer workshops. Yeah, you get paid. And you know, if I could get your income, and then that increases your speed. Because part of the problem is that you're not making any money. That's right. That's the problem. It's not a put down because I think you're moving in the right direction. And you don't have good people around you

to tell you to go do this or go do that. And so we're going to be those people. We're going to help you. I want to do a couple things. One is I'm going to put you through Financial Peace University, our nine week program. I also want you to take Ken Coleman with the Ramsey Networks. He has a show on career and on jobs and he has an assessment, a career assessment. It's $30 but I'm gonna give it to you, okay?

And I'm also gonna give you his book from Paycheck to Purpose. I'm gonna load you up, kiddo, because I think you got huge potential and we're gonna come around you, put our arms around you and love you, hug you and say, get them, tiger, get them. And you call back here any time and remind us of this conversation and we'll talk to tiger, get them. And you call back here anytime and remind us of this conversation

and we'll talk to you and help you. We'll be the ones in your corner. But right now I would rather you be in a job that is not as, I don't know what the right word is. It's not respectable, that's not the right word. But it's not as professional sounding. Yeah. She's a free spirit. She needs a free spirit reflective job. Bankers, let me tell you about banking. but it's not as professional sounding. Yeah. You know.

She's a free spirit. She needs a free spirit reflective job. Bankers, let me tell you about banking in general. Okay. Banking, big title, little money. Just in general. Clearly, clearly. Just in general.

Tell her bottom of that barrel. Big title, little money. Lots of walking around like I'm doing something, no money. So when someone says they're a banker, I always snicker. This is The Ramsey Show. People tell me about their experiences with big banks all the time. Bad service, fees that nickel and dime them to death, and predatory lending that tries to catch them in never-ending cycles of debt. So if you're ready for a bank that puts people over profits, check out Fairwinds Credit Union. I recommend Fairwinds because they share our Ramsey values of helping people get out of debt and live

generously. If you go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey you'll see the combined checking and savings account bundle they created just for Ramsey fans. This account bundle is designed to help you take control of your finances and stay out of debt and Fairwinds also has a great mobile app that's safe and secure so you can manage your transactions with peace of mind. FairWinds has been helping people avoid big bank traps for 75 years. So go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey to learn more.

It's easy to join no matter where you live. That's F-A-I-R-W-I-N-D-S dot org slash Ramsey. Between Christmas shopping and holiday get-togethers, investing might be the last thing on your mind, but there are certain things you might need to take care of before the year ends, and you don't have to do it alone. The Smart Vestor program can connect you with a financial advisor near you. Whether you've got questions about retirement planning, required distributions, or anything in between, a SmartVestor Pro will walk you through what you need to know. Head to ramsysolutions.com slash SmartVestor to get connected.

Ramsey Solutions is a paid, non-client promoter of participating pros. Learn more at rseysolutions.com slash smartvester. Today's question of the day is brought to you by why refi. This is an interesting statistic. 93 percent of undergraduate private student loans are co-signed. So when you're a delinquent, Nana, Uncle Joe, whoever was signing it, they're going down with you. But there is a way out. Y-Refi refinances defaulted private student loans that other places won't touch and they give you a low fixed rate loan that's built for you. This is special you guys. Go to whyrefi.com slash Ramsey today that's the letter Y R E F Y dot com slash Ramsey might not be available in all states.

All right today's question comes from Paige in Delaware. My parents live in a different state than my husband and I. Everything is fine when they visit, but when they return home, they send us a bill for things that we ask them to purchase during their visits, such as food prep ingredients for meals, toiletries, et cetera. The items are usually incidentals, not the full cost of a meal. Are we wrong to ask them to help with expenses

while they are staying with us? Okay, y'all are weird Yeah, y'all are weird. That's shocking to me That's just both of your weird the fact that you asked somebody else to pay for stuff when they're staying in your home Regardless of who it is. It's weird You have a little hospitality get you know, they shouldn't have to buy their own freaking toilet paper. And if you're going to have a meal for a friend or relative that's staying with you, you pay for the meal. And your parents are weird. They go home and send you a bill. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, I'm shocked. I truly am. It doesn't make sense. The only

like the only thing that I could think of where this made sense is if they came and like lived with you for like three years or something but there's no indication and even still I I have never stayed at someone's home and they asked me to pick up something at the store and sent them a bill. I can't imagine. They let me stay at their home and I've never stayed at someone's home who expected me to pay for something but I always try to leave with them with more than when I came. It's like how do you keep a tally of that? How about both sides of this grow a little generosity?

Yeah, that's what's at stake here. It's... Wow! When someone stays in your home page you should furnish everything and take care of it You should not ask someone to pay for it period. I don't care who it is Oh, by the way parents when you stay in someone's home and they ask you to pick something up pick up twice as much and Leave it as a gift to say thank you for letting us stay there and don't send a bill y'all are weird Yeah, cuz where I listen if my family comes in I'm the type I want to give you a little care box like I want the stuff to be in the room and I don't want you to think of anything. When you come to dinner you bring a bouquet of

flowers and a bottle of wine. Yes. Hello. Wow. God man. Wow. Y'all are weird. To itemize. You ate an apple yesterday put that on the bill half a roll of toilet paper It's been invoiced here toiletries. I'm just saying Weird I'd love to see that receipt. I'd love to see what it looks like half half a bag of toasty toes Happy you know for nine great first time I got the bill The next time they came to visit, I'd be going, Motel 6 over buddy. Yeah, you may as well stay in a hotel.

Might as well go over there and you settle up with those people. There's free breakfast. Yeah, you get those powdered eggs, man. Six o'clock in the morning, that coffee that's been watered down, that orange juice that's never saw an orange. You just stay yourself right over there, baby. Wow. Y'all are weird. Tracy right over there, baby. Y'all are weird. Tracy says Boise, Idaho. Hey Tracy, what's up?

Hi, thank you for taking my call. I have a question. My dad passed away in March of 2023. My sister and I were originally, thank you, were originally co-executors. A month after my dad passed things got really volatile and I were originally, thank you, were originally co-executors. A month after my dad passed, things got really volatile and I removed myself. I had my attorney draw up a letter to remove me from my dad's estate, let my sister be. And I've had no contact with them since just via a few texts, a few emails, very generic.

I received an email on September 3rd for my sister's attorney, the probate attorney asking me to sign a document regarding my dad's home had been on the market for over a year and had not sold. Um, my siblings want to close out the estate and put a renter in there, which is not what my dad's will says, but because I'm an air, I'm in, I have to find this document. My question to you is, if I find this document, am I removing all legal representation that my remaining three siblings are just gonna honor

my dad's will and divide things up according to the will? Basically my dad's will is very generic, was sell all my assets, pay all my debts, divide everything by four. Nothing has been done correctly in my dad's will. Nothing has. And I just let it happen. I mean, I stepped away, so I'm fine with that. But my fear and my husband and I are in baby step seven, we're building a home for cash. Okay. What do you want to do with your share of the home? Are you going to just turn it

over to them? Abandon it and walk away? I think that's an option. Okay. If you're going to do that, then you can sign the letter. If you want your share of the home you can't sign the letter. You don't need the money. Thank you. What is it? We don't really need the money. Nope, nope we don't and that's kind of where we're at right now if we sign the letter. How much is the house worth? Maybe once it sells and the debt that there was still a mortgage on it we might be talking 200,000 profit divided by four. We're talking 50,000 or less or less each.

Yeah. There are some other assets that, you know, that's not accounted for and I don't even care. I just, is it worth it? Is it worth the fight? Listen, you're at your wits end. We can hear it in your voice. You've, you've, you've gone around and around on this.

Yeah. So, yeah, you gotta decide, you gotta decide if you wanna re-enter the battle or you wanna walk away. So if I wanna, so my position is, and which is what I told the probate attorney, I want the house left on the market and it sold. Yeah, that's it. I don't, that's it. That's what the will called for.

That's what the will called for. The executor of the will is supposed to execute That's the thus the name executor the will they're supposed they don't get to make this up and your sister Your sister's been making it up. And so if I'm in your shoes, I'm gonna either go Screw it. It's not worth it. Y'all just take the money I don't want it and I'm gonna walk completely away and never think about it again or I'm gonna just tell this guy when you guys sell the house I'll take my fourth and no I'm not signing anything until the house is sold. Well I feel like in many ways you made that decision when you walked away

from being an executive though. No, no she didn't. She didn't lose her rights. I'm not saying that she lost her rights, but you clearly were worn slap out and were like, whatever. No, she didn't want to stay in the day to day rough and tumble. That's different than... I didn't. Yeah. Yeah. I understand what you're doing. So, you know, the thing is, here's what you're really struggling with is you know how pissed off everybody's going to be when you do this. Well, they already are because they dropped the house below, right now the house is left below appraisal or

value because there's no more money to pay the mortgage. So, which is fine, I don't care, but I don't want it taken off the market. My other conflict, Dave, but this is my sister's also the executor and the realtor and this is one of her first house sells Which is oh my gosh She has the house listed Yes. Oh how many times can we spell conflict of interest? Exactly. Okay. I just wanted to make sure like that's my thinking I don't know how this attorney has kept his law license if he's at allowing this

Wow has kept his law license, if he's allowing this. Wow. Wow. This probate attorney, he should be going, no ma'am, you cannot do that. The attorney needs to be, oh my God. Is the attorney one of your siblings? No. You guys are confirming everything

that my husband and I have discussed. We've been following you since 2008. We became 100% debt free in 2020 and here's the thing I would just say listen I'm not angry I'm not angry about this this is not about revenge I'm just asking simply very kindly and calmly that you guys do what the will says and we really ought to have I need to hire an attorney no you just don't need to sign it okay if you want an attorney you could go get one to get advice I to have an attorney. No you just don't need to sign it. Okay. If you want an attorney you could go get one to get advice. I'm not an attorney

but if you just refuse to sign it and say my instructions as one of the heirs is for you to execute the will properly and that means the house needs to be sold not rented. I do not want to be partners with these people ten years from now in this house. I don't want the liability no thank you period if they want to buy me out they can do that too by the way that's a great idea but they can't even pay the payments so they're not gonna buy anybody out this is the Ramsey show Jade Walsh all Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 828-825-5225. Hey, we were talking about the real estate market a while ago and how people are sidelined because they

can't find a property because of supply. They can't, they don't want to walk away from their 2% loan or they're waiting on the presidential election or whatever, really if you're ready to move, I wouldn't let any of those things hold me back personally. And if you need some help, get with one of the Ramsey trusted agents. All you got to do is go to ramsesolutions.com slash real estate and our guys can actually help you get a house sold or bought in this weird market and help you, help you pull this thing off. The other thing you need to know as this particular segment comes to a close, the show will continue

on the Ramsey app, the Ramsey Network app. And if you want to get the entire show every day, YouTube or podcast or whatever, you can get video or podcast, you can get the whole thing on the Ramsey Network app free doesn't cost a thing or you know if you're on talk radio you're gonna get what you've always gotten wherever it is nothing has changed there but a couple months ago we made the shift to the last portion of the show is now on the Ramsey Network app

there was all kinds of data and stuff that went into that decision and now that we are 60 days or so into that it has proven to be true. So our YouTube listenership or viewership is up. Nice. Our podcast completion rate and everything is up and we still got the same amount of content and you go to Ramsey Network app. You need to get the whole thing there or at least the last segment there. If you haven't downloaded the Ramsey Network app for free, we're not charging a thing for this, okay? You can go get it anytime you want to go get it. So just go over to the Apple Store or the Google Play or whatever you're going to do and download the app

and get the Ramsey Network app to get started. And so as this segment wraps up we'll jump over to there with you or again if your talk radio or whatever you're you're gonna be what you're gonna get what you've always gotten exactly okay Amanda's in Washington DC hi Amanda how are you I'm great how are you all doing today better than we deserve what's up hey so I a question. I just discovered you all a couple months ago, thank God. My husband and I are in about a total of 90,000 debt and I'm full on board. Like I don't plan on using credit anymore ever. I do own a business by the way and so we're going through trying to figure out how to get through the baby steps the

best way. But he asked me, he said, Hey, if you don't plan on using debt ever again, why don't you just call for bankruptcy? And where's he, what wouldn't it be? We, yeah. Is it business that is that why he's looking at it that way? Correct. Okay. Well, no, we it's the 90,000 is inclusive of everything personal and business. Okay. So why would you file bankruptcy and he wouldn't? Well, I guess he's looking at it as my debt rather than our debt.

And that's part of us getting on board with everything, Ramsey, because before then we didn't have our finances combined. So we're kind of still trying to change the language and everything like that. How long have you been married? Every year this November. And break the $ 90,000 in debt down for me a little bit. What are the major categories? Yep, so I have the student loan about 40k in student loan, and then pretty much the rest is just like credit cards and personal debt. There's no car. Well, no, just a little bit of car.

It's like 1900, but it's pretty much just credit card debt. And is the credit cards you're using to keep the business going and what kind of business is it? Yeah. So two of them were used specifically for the business. And then the other were just personal between the both of us. Is the business profitable? It is.

It's, it's getting there now. It's been open less than a year and you know every month. Getting there is not what I asked. Are you making a profit this month? Yes. Yes. Yes. How much do you make this month? Profit? Profit wise? Yeah. A little under a thousand dollars. Okay so you currently have a twelve12,000 of your job which puts you at the poverty level if you don't get this business moving. Which? You don't have a debt problem, you have an income problem. No, so that's not the only job that I have. Okay, good, good, good. I was gonna ask about

that. I was gonna say this sounds a little bit more like a hustle until it's off the ground. Are you doing anything in the meantime okay great so what do you do what's your main job what's your income my income is we bring about 8,500 to 9,000 a month together I'm a nurse practitioner okay okay and that and so we have our income together that you're but we don't have our debt together. So here's the thing, student loans are not bankruptable. Right, okay. So you have a $40,000 bankruptcy or $50,000 bankruptcy, you're talking about not a 90. And you make, you're not going to get relief from everything by filing bankruptcy.

You're just going to get relief from about half of it. And, uh, do you own a home? Yes. Okay. It's going to be in jeopardy depending on how much equity you have. You have any equity in it? Yes. Um, about 130 K is the last time I checked. Okay. All right. Do you actually live in DC or do you live in Virginia?

No, outside in Maryland actually. In Maryland, okay. Just for fun of it, I'll explain this to you, but it's not going to change our answer. But knowledge will help you, okay? So when you file bankruptcy, you surrender all of your assets to the court, and the court starts doling them back out to you. So the court would take ownership of your home, not formally, but technically, and then depending on what Maryland has, type that into Google right quick, what's the homestead exemption in Maryland? Jade Wallenmeyacken. And depending on what the homestead exemption is, in Tennessee it's $7,500.

Okay? And so the court would let you keep $7,500 of your house equity after they sold your house to pay your debt. Oh no. Yeah. If you were in Tennessee. Now I don't know what it is in Maryland. Right, right, right. But in Texas it's 100% and you get to keep all of it. It's exempt and know what it is in Maryland, but in Texas it's a hundred percent and you get to keep all of it. It's exempt and so is it in Florida. Okay? So each state's different but let's say that it's 50,000 just for the fun of it. Jade will have it in a minute, okay? But basically your home equity is going to go to pay your debt is what I'm telling you. So your husband's suggestion is based in not

knowing what's going to happen to you if you file bankruptcy. So you find Homestead Exemption and Bankruptcy for Maryland. It's there but it's not clear. It doesn't say what it is. It should be just a little chart pop up. Okay anyway doesn't matter you're to probably unless they have 100%, which I don't think they do exemption. Okay. 25,150. Kelly just found it in the booth. Okay. So 75,000 of your home equity would go to pay your $50,000 worth of debt. So you can't file bankruptcy. You'll lose your house and it'll pay your debt. Shoot. You just be selling your house to pay your debts. What you'd be doing?

You follow me? No, we don't want to do that. No, and still end up with a stinking student loan debt. Yeah, correct. Yeah, no. So bankruptcy is off the table. Okay, even if that wasn't the case, you still wouldn't file bankruptcy when you have a hundred and twenty, hundred and thirty thousand dollar income on fifty thousand dollars worth of debt because the forty thousand student loans not bankruptable anyway so even if you didn't lose your house you wouldn't do that I mean what if you guys

just lived on eighty thousand and paid it off in two years yeah so I've done all the math and everything he was very hesitant but is going along now with the plan because I we did this back in June. So that's what I calculated was 24 to 26 months. That's what I had calculated. And that's how you are now. That's assuming you're not adding any extra income. If your business, your side hustle takes off in doubles, you do it in 18 months. That's right. Exactly. So you guys need to get on beans and rice, rice and If your business, your side hustle takes off in doubles, you do it in half, you do it in 18 months. That's right. Exactly.

So you guys need to get on beans and rice, rice and beans on a plan. You need to combine your debts, combine your household, combine your incomes, and combine your efforts and focus and kill this. You're not bankrupt. And if you're not using every dollar, you need to get on every dollar because that is going to be the foundation of all of this. If you don't have that, you're not going to move at the speed you think you're going to move. Yeah, hang on Well, let them pick up and give you that for free. Okay, we want you to not file bankruptcy. You're not bankrupt You don't need to file bankruptcy What up what up it's dr. John Delaney from the dr. John Delaney show with some amazing news

The latest episode of United States of anxiety is available right now What's up, Kelsey? sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey? So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life? What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. All right. So you're ready to jump Alright, so you ready to jump in? I'm ready to jump in. We're going to check in with Kelsey.

30 days, 60 days, 90 days. I cannot even function because I'm just crying. My mom left us when I was four. I truly felt like for a while I had no family. She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy. He triggers me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing,

scared of not being enough. It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey. It is. Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay. How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Cause I feel like she's running the show.

One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off. I was just, I was just burdened. You burdened, that's right. To the one person who should carry it, all of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault? I don't know what to do. You either have to choose to let this guy love you or you gotta choose to let this guy go.