The Ramsey Show - Fix The Money Mess That’s Stressing You Out

Episode Date: May 29, 2026

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Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:02 This is an ad for BetterHelp. The time to fix your budget is before you're in debt. And the time to deal with stress is before it becomes a crisis. Talking to someone can help you find a path forward. Go to BetterHelp.com slash Ramsey to get 10% off. Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. from the Ramsey Network and the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio. This is The Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one best-selling author, co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour. My daughter is my co-host today.
Starting point is 00:00:50 The phone number here is AAA-825-225. The call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Liz is with us in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hey, Liz, what's up? Hey, how are you? Better than I deserve. going to help? I'm calling because about three years ago, I had discovered that my husband had amassed
Starting point is 00:01:14 a pretty substantial amount of debt, just kind of a combination of bad decisions, bad luck over spending. And I had kind of stupidly let him, you know, he was bringing in most of the money, I have let him take control. So about three years ago. I started managing our finances, and I've been able to kind of bring it in some and make some progress, but my job that the past two years have been pretty steady has slowed back down. And so for the last three months, we're about $27, $100 short a month.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I know. And I just don't really know what to do. because I've put our household expenses to nothing. I've gotten rid of the only two things I could still get rid of our home security system, which is $25 a month and then house cleaning for my mental health help. But other than that, I've gotten rid of extras. So how much debt is there? Probably right now about $200,000.
Starting point is 00:02:36 All consumer debt, Liz. It's, he took out a Hewock. There's some credit card debt to car payments. Oh, what do you owe in your cars? Between the two of them, 48,000. Break them down to him for me. His truck is about 18, and mine is like 33 or so. And what do you make a year, and what does he make a year?
Starting point is 00:03:04 He makes, with his bonus, about how. 160,000 a year. Mm-hmm. My job varies. I work on an as-needed basis per a law firm, so the past two to three years, I made about 90,000, but I'm probably tracking this year
Starting point is 00:03:24 what it had been like the previous five years, which is 45. Okay, so what you gave me does not equal $250,000 worth of expenses. Where is this money going? What's your house payment? Our house payment is 1900, and then we have a HELOC, which is $470 a month.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Yeah. But that's only $2,500. That's only $30,000 a year, and you have a $250,000 household income. Well, I guess I'm factoring in all the, like, all the monthly payments we're making. Yeah, I am too. I don't get to $2,700 upside down. Your household income is $20,000 a month. No, it's well...
Starting point is 00:04:15 No, it is. I mean, it's not your take-home pay, but your household income is $20,000 a month. $160 plus $90.50. That's $20,000. What hits your account every month, Liz? What do you actually have to work with after taxes? Right now, what we're working with is about $7,700 a month, because I haven't. working. Where's the other $13,000 a month going? Are you still putting money? Are you still putting much? I know. She's not working. She's not, she's not at 90 anymore. She's at 60. She's at 45 and your husband's 160. Yeah, but the, so. But even at a 160,000 dollar income. Yeah, are you putting money in a 401k still?
Starting point is 00:05:02 He does. I don't. Well, you manage the money now. So yeah, we are putting money in his 401k. Okay, we, yes. Okay. And what else is coming out of your checks other than taxes? Health insurance. Mm-hmm. He has this debt where he, this company called Beyond Finance, so that's $7.50 a month that he's paying toward something that he had some debt
Starting point is 00:05:35 consolidation company. And that comes out of his check? That comes directly out of his. well, it just auto drafts out of our... That's checking account. That's after 7,700 went in, and I'm still trying to find like $10,000 a month that's missing. And so far, the only place I found it going is a 401K.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Well, I mean, his take-on pay is he gets after taxes like $3,400 every two weeks. And then he gets a big bonus in January, which we use this year to pay off a credit card. Right. that's 7,000. And then you bring in 700 a month is what you're saying, because you said 7,700 hits your account every month? I mean, that's when it's been the last like three to four months because I haven't really been working. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Okay, so can you pick up the same type of position somewhere else since they've slowed you down? I can't because I work for a law firm and I'm covered by the same. liability insurance so I I can't do the same kind of work for anyone else because of I mean is there another law firm that'll hire you and quit those guys I mean I've been looking yeah haven't found anything yet yeah because you you know we're we're not going to stay at 45 when we have a market income our market value of a hundred okay so a couple of things backing up then so number one the two of you need to sit down together and work on the budget. You can do the details, but he needs to feel the weight of the
Starting point is 00:07:22 responsibility of this with you and be carrying it emotionally. You're carrying it by yourself. And it's crushing you. I can hear it in your voice. Okay. And you're still harboring a large amount of resentment, which is fair. You're still pissed off about him running $200,000 in the hole without bothering to tell anybody. Okay. That's thing one. though. Your only shot at your marriage getting through this is the two of you hooking arms, putting your both of you, putting your shoulders in the same into the harness together and pulling this wagon together. Okay. Now, you can do the details. You're the detail person. And you definitely have to know what's going on because we can't count on him. Okay. So that's thing one.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Thing two, then once you're doing that, then I want you to go find where all this money's going. because stop his 401k immediately. You don't go $2,700 in the hole while funding a 401K. That's not logical. That's borrowing money to put it in a 401k. No, I'm not doing that. So stop his 401k in the morning or tonight or whatever. Stop yours.
Starting point is 00:08:29 No saving money. No investing money. And I'd be selling the cars at this point. That's the next one. Sell the cars. These cars have got to go. They're crazy in this situation. But you've got to go find where all this money's going.
Starting point is 00:08:42 is when you add this up and look at the gross amount that you guys have been making and you're only getting $7,000 home, something's wrong. Or if you got a huge tax refund, something's wrong. There's gaping holes in this. Of his 160 is the bonus,
Starting point is 00:08:58 which they used to pay off the credit card. So that's not in the paychecks either month either. You've got to figure out where all this is going because it doesn't add up to $250,000. And that's what we've got to get to. Okay, guys, let me ask you something. what would it take for you to switch your bank? Because if you're still earning next to nothing on your savings, you need to check out Fairwin's credit union. And I know what you're thinking. It might sound like a hassle. Moving your direct deposit, updating bills, getting a new debit card, feels like a lot. But here's what most people don't realize. Staying where you are could be costing you hundreds of dollars every year. Y'all, the average savings account pays less than half a percent. So let's say, for example, you've got $20,000 saved. You might earn around $7,000. $60 a year. But with a Fairwind high-yield savings account, earning 3% APY or more, that same money could earn you over $600. And that's real money that you can use towards the baby steps. So don't let temporary comfort keep you stuck. Check out the smart bundle from Fairwind Credit Union. You get a high-yield savings account, a no-fee checking account, and the Ramsey B-Weird debit card. Go to fairwins.org to learn more and make the switch today.
Starting point is 00:10:20 That's fairwinds.org slash Ramsey, insured by the NCUA. Jay's in Oklahoma City. Hi, Jay. How are you? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. How are you all? Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help? Yes, I'm just calling. I am 27 years old. I still currently live with my parents. I am $35,000 to $45,000 in debt. That's with credit cards, two vehicle loans, and personal loans. And I make roughly 32 to 3,500 a month. I work two jobs, and I'm going to school.
Starting point is 00:11:07 And I'm just, you know, very overwhelmed. And I just feel like I'm financially behind in life. Wow. So did you say you had two car debts? Yes. They, it's a 2021 Hyundai Alontera and a 2018 Denali. The Alantra, I have about 11,000 left on it. The Denali, I have 21,000 left on it.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Are you married? I am not. Why do you have two cars? The 2021 Hyundai Alantra is mine. The 2018 Denali is my father's. He is disabled, so he is on a fixed income, and he had no vehicle. He had one, but that broke down on him, and we both needed reliable cars. So that, I believe, looking back on it, was too much of a burden to take on.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah, you need to sell it. You can't afford the denali. It's one of your problems. What's the nature of your father's disability, hon? He has nerve damage, and he has severe arthritis in his hands. So, some days are you, you said you're living with your parents. Your mom is involved too? Yes. She is the only one working. What does she make?
Starting point is 00:12:41 She makes about, she makes 20 an hour. Okay. And your dad has disability income coming in, I assume. Yes. Was the, was, is this just SSI or was he military or? It's SSI, but I guess something came up. They said that my mom makes too much money, so they're threatening to cut it off. No, there's not a thing where the spouse makes too much money if someone's permanently disabled.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Your mom can make $800,000 a year and your dad still gets his disability SSI. So that somebody's confused somewhere on the messaging. Okay, so here's the deal. your dad's income from disability and your mom's $20 an hour adds up together to determine what kind of car they pay cash for. And they manage their lives. They're like grownups and stuff. And the Denali's gone. You are way too broke to be supporting other people.
Starting point is 00:13:49 That's why you're stuck. How does that hit you, Jay? It hits me, but I, I've seen it and I've looked at the numbers. I've known it for a while, and it's like, you know, a realization. Yeah. And I'm just the mean guy that said it all out loud. Well, it just, you know, hurts because I want to help. I want you to be able to help, but you're not helping.
Starting point is 00:14:18 You're hurting because you've quote, you guys have woven together a situation that is not good for any of you. And that can happen. You can do the wrong thing out of a good heart, right? And you've got a great heart. You're trying to help your dad. I appreciate you doing that. That's good.
Starting point is 00:14:35 That's a good man, okay? Trying to help your mom. And you're living there. So you feel like you owe them because you do. That's okay. I get to all of that. That's fine. But basically all the debt you're feeling are these two cars.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's basically all of it. If you didn't have the Denali payment, your life, all of a sudden, starts working again. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so, yeah, and then we begin to work extra like a crazy man and clear up the credit card debt, clear up your little $11,000 card debt.
Starting point is 00:15:03 And you'd be debt free in, gosh, about a year. But, because you don't have any overhead. You're not paying rent, right? No, no, I'm not. Yeah. I mean, and you're buying some food maybe and stuff for the house and maybe paying a light bill or something, but you don't have much overhead. So, you know, basically we're talking about, you know, $2,500 a month, which is $30,000 a year that you could be throwing in debt. And that means you're debt free in a year.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Of course, we're getting rid of the denouly, too, but that's part of the equation. But, yeah, once that's gone and you do these things, and then mom and dad scratch together a little bit of money, and they go buy a $5,000, $6,000 car. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with $5,000 or $6 car. You can get a lot of car for $5 or $6 grant. It's not pretty, but it's reliable. Mm-hmm. And you're not trying to win any sex appeal jobs anyway.
Starting point is 00:15:54 They aren't at their age. They don't need to pick up a date. They're fine. So, I mean, you know, that's it. So, and then you start working to get out on your own and, and you can emotionally support them and coach them and be there for them and drop by some, drop by dinner occasionally for them and that kind of stuff. And then you start your own life. And that's going to be the best thing ever happened to them and to you. How will that conversation go with your parents, Jay?
Starting point is 00:16:23 I think it would go very well. You do? Good. Yes. I have a great relationship with my parents, and my dad is always telling me that he wants me to win. He wants me to do better than he did. Okay, good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:39 That's wonderful. That's a very supportive environment. And how much is that payment a month? Which one? The Denali. The Donali is 508. Yep. Wow.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Oh, really? Okay. I would have guessed double. Okay. But just the same. So, yeah, I don't think it's good for them to have that burden, and I know it's not good for you. The car, that, the car was, you had a valid need, and you purchased about four times as much cars you should have or five times as much cars you should have to cover your dad's need. And then that's when it exposed all this other stuff. Because when you put stress on that budget, all the little stupid things are really exposed then. You can kind of get away with those and forget about them until you put stress on it. You know, and I can see how all, you know, it's $21,000 denoulli, you know, versus a brand new $90,000. Right. So he's probably thinking in his head as he's doing it, oh, this is a good deal. Okay. It's not crazy.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Like I can. And then, but here's the problem. Are these small, these purchases, small purchases that we make start when we justify them. You put them in the whole picture of your math. And a $500 car payment making, what was it, $3,500 a month. Yeah. That's what he said, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:55 $40,000 a year for a $20,000 car. Eating, eating away. Yep, with another $11,000 car. And another $11,000 car. And credit card debt. Yeah, so that's what you got to do. So hang on, Jay, I'm going to send you a copy of the book, The Total Money Makeover that shows you exactly how to do the baby steps that we talk about here.
Starting point is 00:18:12 And we're also going to sign you up for every dollar for a budgeting app. And it'll hold your hand as you walk through this process. But beans and rice, rice and beans. and what will happen is you'll get a new level of energy when you have a clear path and you can map out, I'm going to knock that debt off, and then I'm going to knock that debt off, and then I'm going to knock that debt off. And then by this date, I'm going to be completely free. And then I'm going to save my good three to six months down payment. And, you know, by somewhere in that timeline is when you decide you're going to move out on your own.
Starting point is 00:18:42 And all of these things come together. You get out on your own and you're debt free and you've got $10,000 in the bank. You're a different guy. it puts you in a whole different world. And what's wild is all that can happen in 18 months. Less. Well, being debt-free and saving up $10,000, yeah. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:19:02 You're right. Good point. And only 18 months. And think about where you were 18 months ago, about right here. So nothing changes until something changes. So hang on. We're going to send you a copy of the Total Money Makeover and get you moving here, my man. get you moving. So Rachel, I would say that in 30 years of doing this, that a high percentage,
Starting point is 00:19:29 and I'll call it maybe even 90% of the people that are struggling with money issues, have, they're either struggling with their spouse or they're struggling with some other family members with money. There's a relational component. Nine out of ten. There's a negative relational component to about nine out of ten people that are having money problems. Hey, you guys, did you know that there are thousands of data brokers whose entire business is collecting and selling personal information? Things like your home address, your phone number, and even your relatives' names.
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Starting point is 00:21:25 So take back control of your privacy. Go to join deleteme.com slash Ramsey and get 20% off your annual plan. That's join deleteme.com slash Ramsey. Kevin is in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Kevin. How are you? Doing well. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?
Starting point is 00:21:54 So my question is, I'm currently living with, my girlfriend, and we want to start to look to buy our first house. We're currently renting. I make good money. She has a lot of money that she made throughout college and her dad. It's also going to gift us $35,000 for a down payment. We just kind of feel like right now we're wasting money renting, and I know you're totally against doing this before marriage, but it just kind of feels like the smartest option right now. How long have you been living together? We've been living together for one year. Why don't you get married?
Starting point is 00:22:31 So if it was up to me, I would have got married last year. She is going to be competing in the 2028 Olympics, so we want to make sure that she's ready to go for that. How does marriage negatively affect competing in the Olympics? Just the whole wedding and planning for all that. She just wants to stay focused on. So the wedding affects it, but not marriage? Yeah. You're willing to buy a house, which is a big deal.
Starting point is 00:23:00 We're willing to do a wedding. Fine, fine. It's too stressful to do a wedding, but it's not too stressful to buy a house. It's inconsistent, neological. The wedding's going to be a fun big party that we could all enjoy it together. You ever bought a house? No. It ain't an easy process.
Starting point is 00:23:24 They're going to do a, yeah, okay. So, Kevin, you guys are going to do what you're going to do. And I'm not sure why you called us because you knew exactly what we were going to tell you. And it is absolutely relationally, legally, financially, stupid to buy a house with someone you're not married to. her father willing to give her shacked up boyfriend $35,000 and have no protection on where that money's going to go is idiotic. That's just dumb, okay? No way he should do that.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Because here's what could happen, okay? Both your names are on the deeds, and you decide I'm leaving because I don't like Olympians, and I'm going to go do something else with my life. Now, she's got the whole thing, but he can't get his money or her money out of this thing because they can't even find you. These are the calls we get on the show. But that's never going to happen in your case. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Crazy people do crazy stuff all the time. It's why we have a show. And it's compelling radio. You know, it's compelling calls. So please don't do this. So what would I tell you to do if I were your friend? and I am your friend, even though I'm fussing at you, because I don't want you to do this for your own sake. I don't want you to be one of those callers that has a horrible situation, and you have to call me
Starting point is 00:25:02 back and try to unweave some barrel of fish hooks you got yourself into. And so what I would do is I would call the preacher, and I'd go get married Saturday. And I'd have a party after the Olympics. And then you're legally and relationally and financially, on the same page, committed. to then if you want to talk about buying a house and then if her dad wants to give you all a wedding gift of $35,000 to help you on a down payment, I'm in. Let's talk about whether you're out of debt. Let's talk about whether you have your emergency fund in place. But conceptually then, I would go ahead. But if you're unwilling to commit to marriage, you should not be buying a home together.
Starting point is 00:25:45 These are permanent decisions that are not easily undone. So, yeah, period. Period. Period. And it's not, and it's not, the data tells us that your likelihood of having one fourth of the net worth that you have, that your friends that are married have when you're 35. 35 year old men that are married have four times the net worth of 35 year old men that are shacked up. That's the data. And that's where this is going. Because if it, if there's, there's always an excuse, there's always an excuse, but we're going to go ahead and buy a house. Now, I think you're probably going to buy the house.
Starting point is 00:26:27 I don't think you're going to listen to a dead-gum thing I said. But I wish you would reconsider. And I wish you'd play this back for her dad where I called him an idiot. Because this is just dumb. He's just trying to do a nice thing for his daughter and he thinks you're a good guy. And he's trying to be a good dude. And he hasn't thought through the unintended consequences of this, which is this crap only works when everything goes right. if anything goes wrong, she's screwed in this scenario.
Starting point is 00:26:59 And you don't, she don't want to be in that. And you don't want to love, you want to love her better than that. So we're going to see the preacher Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. This Saturday. That's your southern uncle. This Saturday.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Kevin, that's your uncle Dave coming out. That's your Uncle Dave loving you. Because I don't want to talk to you when you're 30 and you've had this, all this struggle in your life because you've got things out of order. Yeah. And it screws up everything. And the number of people we call that we get in here in your situation. And you knew this before you called me.
Starting point is 00:27:36 So you walked into the bear's den and said, hey, bear, will you eat? Yes, we will. So we love you so much. We're always going to tell you the truth and forcefully to try to get you to do it. So I want you to win, honey. And, man, obviously the girl's a great girl. I mean, my Olympic champion. Wow.
Starting point is 00:27:54 And you get to compete in the Olympics. You've got some serious stuff going on. That's neat. So this is a great find. You probably ought to like make sure this gets wrapped up before she slips away. I was going to say. Or she goes to the Olympics. And he's a Olympic man.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Not that you aren't Kevin. But she said, no, she said she's the one wanting to put it off. But she's tying it to the wedding and the stress of doing the wedding. Yeah. Yeah. But buying a home is stressful. But the quality of your life, the quality of your relationships, when you have commitment together, when you're, when you're,
Starting point is 00:28:24 know it's going to happen anyways. And you start creating a life together. There starts to be balanced, give and take. You know, all of it, it just, there is. Like, there's so much data coming out that it is. There is an advantage to it to being married. And you add the finances on top and doing something like purchasing a home together. I mean, by the time you get to 50 years old, folks, the numbers are staggering. You ladies, you have 14 times less net worth when you're 50 years old if you've shacked up than a married friend of yours. 14 times less money. That's the reality. Men is five times less money at 50 years old. Married men long term live seven or eight years longer than unmarried men. Now, John Deloney and I were discussing that piece of
Starting point is 00:29:14 research. He's convinced it's because our wives keep us from doing stupid things that kill us. Yes. Yes. Yes. Are you going to... They are the logical people. Are you going to eat that? Are you going to wear that? David. David. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Passive aggressive questions coming from a Southern bill. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. I'm convinced this is real. Well, and... Ladies live longer, too. You have a 20% higher possibility of surviving a cancer diagnosis if you're married.
Starting point is 00:29:41 And the, um, and the stats on, what is it? Is it fulfillment or happiness within the marriage? Yes, happiness. Before living together before. marriage even. Yep. So the whole generation shift has been we live together first and actually the data is coming out against that.
Starting point is 00:29:59 On a happiness. Versus like playing house together like we are married and we're not because from the psychological perspective of the deep commitment that you have for protection. And that's Arthur Brooks. And all of that. I mean, yes, it is all wrapped in together. And again, it's not what the culture is doing. I know it's not the norm.
Starting point is 00:30:14 But that's what's coming out. Here's a good idea too. More people live together now than are, than that aren't married than live to that are married in America for the first time ever. That happened about 10 years ago. The shift is. So more people are shacking up. So I'm pissing a whole bunch of you off right now. But the more people are shacking up than are married today. But here's the thing you've got to keep in mind, okay? Divorce rates at an all-time high. And if that's the case, then the splits that aren't divorced are at an all-time high. We know those things are there. So what you've got to figure out is
Starting point is 00:30:48 What do most people do in a world where very few people are successful at any area of their lives? And figure out what normal is and run from normal. Normal sucks. You don't want to be normal. Let me tell you something I see all the time. People are working hard, trying to get control of their money, and then their phone bill shows up higher than expected again. And they don't even know why.
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Starting point is 00:33:12 You can get in if you try, but if you can't, let me give you another idea. Go over to our website and use Ask Ramsey. Ask Ramsey is our free AI tool that's built and trained only, the only data in it, is proven Ramsey principles. So three, four years worth of phone calls from this show dumped into it. The books we've written, dumped into it. the articles that are all over the Ramsey Solutions website dumped into it. So if you want a Ramsey answer to your question, that's the only thing that's in this. There's no other answers in it, which means the answers are all right.
Starting point is 00:33:47 And what's fun is you can build out a profile so it will remember you as you come back in your situation and everything. Like it's amazing. Yeah, this is a, I'm real proud of our tech team building this out. This is a good use of the AI technology. So you get an answer the same way you'd get right here on the show. You can ask your question. It will remember you and update you as you go down your journey and it'll walk with you. It's pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:34:14 It's called Ask Ramsey. It's completely free. Ask your question at ramsysolutions.com. Or if you're on a YouTuber, your podcasting, just click the link in the description. It'll take you right there. Jennifer's in Daytona. Hi, Jennifer. How are you?
Starting point is 00:34:30 I would like to say it's better than I deserve. Cool. But that's the line. Right on Brainer. How can we help? Okay, so long story short, I'm trying to figure out if we should refinance my private student loan. So me and my husband kind of discovered you in your whole program and babysat and all that about a year and a half ago. And so I'm a full-time teacher, so I teach in high school.
Starting point is 00:34:58 So it's 40 hours, but 40 hours means 50. And then so I started working in a restaurant. and then I started a baking business. Like I've spent more time with my daughter and make an income. And then from that, my baking stuff, I started putting on a wedding show, which is making a lot more money, which is great. But because I made all this income, my husband works about 50, 60 hours too. So probably more 60. Because I made this more income, now my government student loans are going up about $7 a month.
Starting point is 00:35:32 And I'm starting to have some weird health issues. So where, like, if there's any medication that want me to try, my insurance that I pay $1,200 a month for, is denying the coverage of that medication. So I might have to start paying it. I just changed my entire diet to see if that helps versus paying for this medication, which is like $500 a month, they said. So I'm changing my entire diet so that way I could save the money. Okay. So, wait a – how much student loan debt do you have? So government students, I'm in the – and I know you're going to roll your eyes on this one.
Starting point is 00:36:05 But I'm in that, like, a public service. What's the balance on your government student loans? So the government student loans is about 80,000. Okay, and the balance on your private student loans? About 17,000. Okay, good news. All right, good. So $100,000 gets you out of student loan debt.
Starting point is 00:36:21 How much other debt do you guys have not counting your house? That's it. We paid everything off. We paid everything off. So you're debt-free. And what is your household income with all this activity? You guys are working like horses, man. Oh, you have no idea.
Starting point is 00:36:34 I'm so tired. And my kids kind of miss me, but I'm like, it'll be fine. We'll make it work. So it's probably around 130, give or take. Okay. First rule is we need to find out exactly what our income is, and we need to have a detailed plan of where every dollar of that income is going on the every dollar budgeting app, okay? Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:00 And that will make you feel like you've got to raise. because part of this chaos that is your life right now is the finances are very disorganized and they're kind of floating around as separate numbers in your head instead of sitting in a line. Yeah. And that adds stress. We don't have like a set like paycheck. So because I mean my husband obviously depends on his hours too and the extra shifts I can pick up at a restaurant and things like that. I understand.
Starting point is 00:37:31 So like my salaries. You've got all these wonderful things going on that are side hustlers, but we still need a detailed game plan of exactly where every dollar comes in as it comes in. But sometimes it's going to be more, sometimes it's going to be less. But we need a detailed game plan and you and you and him need to be agreed. I'm telling you, your stress level will go down, your fatigue level will go down because you don't mind working if you can see the traction, if you can see the progression. Like if you look up and you go, we just paid off $20,000 in student loan debt and our private student loans are gone. See, then I'm not as tired. And you've been on this for a year and a half, Jennifer, you said.
Starting point is 00:38:06 How much debt have you guys paid off so far? Almost 100,000. Oh, good. So like in another year, you'll be dead free. I'm kind of hoping. No, no, no, no, that's a math thing. It's not a hope thing. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:38:21 If you already paid off 100 in a year, you could pay off 100 in another year. 18 months. A year and a half. Okay. They make $130, they have $100,000. Yeah. So it'll be a year and a half. But Jennifer, to the point that you can still budget with an inconsistent income, you guys just every month kind of guess and just say, okay, here's what we think we're going to make. And when the 15th hits and it's a little bit less, you just lower that income, which means you already have planned out which categories you're going to lower or what's going to be cut out of the budget for the remaining part of the month.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Well, we're not putting as much on the student loan as all it is. Oh, fair, fair, fair. All you're going to be doing is putting everything on the student loan and how much you make up or down is going to be more on the student loan or less on the student loan that month. That's all it is. That's the only variable in this. But it helps you stay within the margin of your food budget, you're out to eat. Yep. I mean, all the extra stuff that just ends up kind of slipping away that can add up to a couple hundred bucks a month, which makes a dent in this debt over, you know what I mean, over a period of time.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Okay. But it is that kind of strict budget. But you guys have been doing it. I mean, you've done a great job. If you only have the student loans debt, debts left, and we're on an 18-month schedule to pay them off, you're paying way more than me. minimums anyway, so whoopty-dupty it went up. Okay. You said something, Jennifer, as you were saying, the $80,000, and you're like,
Starting point is 00:39:39 you're going to hate this, but you're on the, you're on the income repayment. Yeah, and they said, like, after 10 years, I'm on like year seven of it, but I'm not. 10 years ago. I wouldn't do that. I would just get it paid off. Let's just get it paid off, yeah. Because you can't count on them, they lie. It's the federal government.
Starting point is 00:39:57 and like 1.7% of the people that do the 10-year one repayment plan so far I've actually gotten forgiveness. It's nobody gets it because it's so screwed up and bureaucratic and messed up that I'm going to be the one person. Yeah, no, you're not. Don't do it. Just get it paid off. You're working like crazy people. Because think about where you'll be two years from the day when you don't have a payment in the world except your house. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:24 That would be so nice. I'm telling you, all this other medical stuff you're facing will be affected by your stress level and your anxiety level. And when there's all this chaos and lack of organization and when the weight of the $100,000 is not there anymore, all of that's going to affect. It does affect health. It does with everyone, by the way. And well done, you guys, though. Yeah, you're doing great. You're killing it.
Starting point is 00:40:53 You're doing real good. And in our millionaire study, teachers are on the list of the five careers of babysaps millionaires, Jennifer. So you guys are, you're in great professions. You have got a great head on your shoulder. Just dial in the budget. And I promise you'll be finding some more cash when you do that. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:41:12 That's powerful. And she's not lacking in energy. No. She can work. She's got a lot of energy, Jennifer. Highly caffeinated, yeah. Keep at it, Jennifer. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:41:22 I like it. I like it. it. I like her. She's neat. So way to go, kiddo. Push on through and get this stuff out of your life. But the best way to do it, the most efficient use of money is a detailed plan. And one of the things, folks, if you think about it this way, if you worked for a company called you Incorporated and your job at you Incorporated was to manage money for you incorporated and you manage money for you incorporated the way you manage money for you now, would you fire you? And if the answer is yes, then probably you ought to change something. And don't be sitting around shocked that you're broke. If you're
Starting point is 00:41:54 a bad job handling the money. And so, you know, like I've got 14 profit centers here at Ramsey. I just met with one of them a while ago for an hour and a half going over their detailed budget. And the vice president of that area is showing me with SmartVestor. We were looking at smart vester stuff. He's showing me exactly what we've got coming in, exactly what we've got going out. We're going over the details. And, you know, we have, believe me, he has a stinking budget. And believe me, it's organized. And believe me, he executes because it's his freaking job. Hello. And get to keep that job is how he does it. Hello. So he's really good at it.
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Starting point is 00:43:45 access.org, equal housing lender. 1749, Mallory Lane, Suite 100, Brent went in a C, 37027. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality. My daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at AAA-825-5-225. Emily is in Raleigh, North Carolina. Hi, Emily. How are you? Hey, Dave. Hey, Rachel. I'm doing good. How are you guys? Better than we deserve. What's up? My question for you is, I've been with my boyfriend for four years now, and we're at a fork in the road where we had a conversation yesterday, and he gave me a list of things I need to work on to earn an engagement. Should I leave? What?
Starting point is 00:44:39 I know the answer. Wait, what? How old are you? I'm 31. He's 38. We've both been married. Yeah. Can I ask not to be like overly vulnerable? I'm like, what's on the list? Two things.
Starting point is 00:44:54 I struggle with change and adversity. You struggle with change and you struggle with adversity. With dealing with adversity. And you have to fix both of those to earn his hand. It's not something he wants to come home to every day for the rest of his life. What? Wow. That?
Starting point is 00:45:21 Do you feel like you have that attitude while you all are dating? Like, has there been conversations? And he's like, you see the glass half empty. I need someone with the glass half full. Like, what have the conversations been before this list was created? It was a call. I asked a question back. Has it, have you always felt this way?
Starting point is 00:45:40 He said, no. It's just been this last year. And I asked him, well, we've gone through a lot of, challenges and adversity this last year. It's probably been the most challenging year we've had. So what kind of adversity did you face that you weren't good at? According to him. I have changed my career and moved to, I've moved out of state three times in the last year to stay in this relationship and I'm being asked to do it again. And I don't want to do it without a
Starting point is 00:46:14 commitment. And so the adversity is you've had a lot of, you've had a lot of, you've had a of these moves and you're sick of it. And that means you're, according to him, you're not good at adversity. Yeah. And my response is if things can stabilize for more than one year, then I'll be able to be content again. Why does he move every year? We're ambitious people, promotions. We decided to open a franchise, which is why we moved. And it didn't work out. So there's been some financial hardship along the way that has caused more stress. So that's essentially what's been the most recent adversity we've gone through. And we're about to go through it again. So I'm a little nervous. I feel like I have to watch myself if I
Starting point is 00:47:08 decide to move forward again. Sharon and I moved out of a home that we had had for 15 years that we built, custom-made, beautiful home. And in 21, when people were paying more for properties than they should have, someone paid us more for that than they should have. And so we sold it, and we were homeless, and we went and bought a house, and we moved. Those were decisions we made together, and there was always stress associated with a move. But I don't think either one of us would call that adversity. That was we decided to change our location together, and together we changed our location.
Starting point is 00:47:52 And whatever drama there was was outside of our house that was she and I facing that drama, not like I'm weak and I can't handle the change and you're strong and you can. We didn't have that discussion because we both decided and did it together. So I'm a little bit confused coming from that point of view, as to how moving is actually adversity.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Well, she said she followed him around. She had to move three different times to stay in the relationship. So he's asking her to move with him. And she's like, I don't want to move again. I got that part, but I don't even think this quote, I think adversity is the wrong word. I think that, okay, it could be the wrong word. But I think it's stressful.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I think her following him and then having to quote unquote put on a brave face and you can't even authentically be yourself when you are stressed. Adversity is you have a, of having to move. You have a cancer diagnosis. Adversity is someone in your family has a sickness or an illness. Adversity is you got fired from a job that was not your decision. Well, their franchise failed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:56 A failed business is an adversity. But moving cities to take a better job and choosing to do that with your boyfriend is not adversity. It is change. It's dramatic change. And you could hate that, though. Yeah, and I'm good with you hating it. I'm just curious. It's just a curious word choice for me.
Starting point is 00:49:15 That's on his part. Yeah. Or on yours to adopt it, either one. But they, um, interesting. Interesting. Yeah. So I think, I think this doesn't come down to, uh, your deficit and he's got it all together. I think it comes down to you're sick of following this guy around.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Yep. I don't get anything out of it. And he knows it. And he knows it. He knows you're sick of it. And he wants you to not be sick of it. and you're sick of it. Yeah, I feel like it's a too bad, so sad, oh, well kind of response.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Yeah, yeah. And I'm just, it's just a fork in the road in my life. Yeah, I just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just hard listening to you guys every day. And I'm heartbreaking, Emily. I'm sorry. I mean, you've been with them for four years, right? I mean, that's, you know, I think that's hard. The truth is just listening to you.
Starting point is 00:50:01 I mean, you're not an immature little girl. You're a grown woman that's got strong intellect and you're articulate. And so I think when he said this, you've already made up your mind. You just wanted to hear us say it, too, that it's weird. So I'll say it. It's weird. That's a weird request. If you had a daughter and her 18-year-old boyfriend said, you have to do these three things to get married to me, you would tell your daughter, run.
Starting point is 00:50:29 I'd be like, here's my list for you. Yeah. Chad. You need to change these things too. Chad. Yeah. Let's change your commitment. issues, Chad.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Yeah. Man. I've been following your butt around and all you got for the return for that's criticism. So, yeah, I think you already made your decision for you called us, but it's just you hadn't said it out loud and now you did. Yeah. I'm sorry. It hurts.
Starting point is 00:50:59 I appreciate it. You know, it's just talking to like-minded people, getting their opinion on it. Yeah. Well, and here's the truth to, Emily. You want a partner, you want a spouse in your life. life if you choose to get married to him, that you can come home and be who you need to be at home. And again, you don't, I mean, and I get that like some, you know, people complain in marriage, like, so-and-so complains all the time. But there's a level of authenticity of like, I need to just
Starting point is 00:51:20 to, like, unload right now. Like, I'm so stressed. And I need you to partner with me in that and hear that in me and empathize and ask questions, be curious. Like, do this life with me, not that I have to image manage in front of my spouse. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's, that's going to be an exhausting life. Yeah, I have to do this to earn. Yes. This is a conditional love versus unconditional love. Yeah. And I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:51:43 And we're getting your side of the story. And I'll say more and more now, we get DMs from the person on the other side of this story. You know what I mean? And you hear so I... Let me tell you, you can DM if you want a DM, but you did leave your girlfriend of four years who followed you in three different cities feeling this way. It's terrible. Even if you didn't say it that way, you left her feeling like you said it that way. So you still screwed up.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Emily, I'm sorry. Yeah. Sorry. That's awful. people do like change by the way When it's changed for the better they love it You ever bought a new car? It's exciting and fun
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Starting point is 00:53:52 See Store for details. If you're working the baby steps, the best and fastest way to do it is by using every dollar. It's more than just a budgeting app. is the Ramsey plan built right in. You track your progress, you get personalized recommendations and coaching for your situation that will help you free up more money, work the plan faster, get out of debt faster, become wealthy faster.
Starting point is 00:54:27 It's like having one of us walk with you every single day, showing you the next right step and holding you accountable. Start the every dollar process for free by downloading the app in the app store or Google Play. Thomas is in Phoenix. Hi, Thomas. How are you? Probably so I gave, and I'm doing well. Good. How can we help?
Starting point is 00:54:47 So I have just finished Baby Step 2, and I'm 52 years old. And so I'm doing steps 3 and 4 right now. And I just wanted some guidance on whether I should do focus more on investing or paying down my mortgage once I get three accomplished. Okay. And I got numbers. All right, cool. We teach to do Baby Steps 1 through 3, which is $1,000. are saved, then out of debt everything but the house, and then three is a fully funded emergency
Starting point is 00:55:18 fund with great focused intensity. One of those things at a time until it's accomplished. So you should not be doing anything on four until three is done. And you probably can do that in just a month or two, or maybe in 10 minutes, I don't know, but call Baby Step 3 completed. Then we change from scorched earth intensity, like running for your life intensity. to intentional. And we relax just a little bit, okay?
Starting point is 00:55:49 And this is when you could upgrade a car or do some other, you know, go on a trip or something like that. But until then, until you get past Baby Step 3, you don't need to be eating out, you don't need to be buying cars, you don't be doing nothing. Okay? So once you're there, then Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6 we do simultaneously, which is kind of what you're trying to do right now on 3 and 4. And that's 15% of your household income going into retirement. and if you have kids college to deal with, that's baby step five.
Starting point is 00:56:20 And then any... We're never married, no kids. Okay. Then any other money beyond 15% of your income being saved would go on the house mortgage. And so we're running baby steps four and six simultaneously. But it's very simple. You put 15% away, and every other dollar you can find that you don't need to use to have a good life. You can throw at the debt.
Starting point is 00:56:42 And what typically happens is people are paying. paying off their homes using that system in between 7 and 10 years. So let's look at your numbers. What's your household income? So I'm a Fed and I make 55-471 a year and I have a VA compensation, which is 21701 a year. Okay. So you have $76,000 income. Thank you for your service.
Starting point is 00:57:10 and you owe what on your home? And you're, 991,000. And you said you're 55 years old. 52 years old, that's right. Okay. All right. So, cool. So what we would prescribe is you get your emergency fund finished,
Starting point is 00:57:31 and then you're putting 15% of your income away. It's about $10,000 a year. About $800 a month. And if you're working for the Fed, you can, you could, you could, You could put it in the Thrift Savings Plan, the TSP, and or you could use just a Roth IRA and good mutual funds, and that'll take care of a bunch of it. You put $8,000 in that, and that's what I would do.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Yeah, TSP has a Roth now. Yeah, but they also don't have as good options as the open market does for mutual funds. The best option in the TSP by far is the C plan. It's the only thing that even mimics the market, and it's about like an S&P 500. So it's a good investment. It's not a bad investment. And so if you need to do some in the TSP,
Starting point is 00:58:15 what I would do is put $8,000 into a Roth, getting with a SmartVestor Pro, and put $2,000 into the TSP. And then beyond that, if I can find any money in the budget, I'm going to start going at the house. Do you have any money right now, Thomas saved? In retirement? I've got, oh, for retirement.
Starting point is 00:58:34 I got 26,000 in the TSP, $26,000. 26,000, okay. Because I was just running. The caveat is there's an investment packet that is being handled and it was my dad's and he made my stepmom the beneficiary. She doesn't touch it.
Starting point is 00:58:52 She doesn't need it. And she's like, this is yours when I die. That's good news. How much it is. You don't know how much it is? I don't feel comfortable ask me. I would plan like that doesn't exist. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:05 So if you ran, if you did the numbers, I just typed in the count. calculator real quick, Thomas, with your 26,000 that you have, and you put 800 bucks away. Between now and 67, you'll have $565,000. And you've got your military retirement of 21,000. Yep. Yeah, yeah, I came up with the same numbers when I used your calculator, which doesn't include the Fed contribution. Right. So good. And whatever's going to happen. Oh, wait a minute. Fed's contributing to your TSP? 5%. Is that a match? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Well, you do the, you put 5% in the match then, for sure. And the other 10% you can put in a Roth IRA. So match in the C-P-P-Roth, and then Roth and a good growth stock mutual funds with your SmartVestor Pro that you can contact at Ramsey Solutions.com. And, yeah, you're going to have half a million to a million dollars, you know, by the time you need some money. And you're doing really good. I'm glad. Well, done.
Starting point is 01:00:03 I'm glad. And you got $21,000 a year coming in as long as you're alive, military retirement, which is excellent. So, very cool. And the house will get paid for using this system. But no, I would not put more or less in retirement. I would work that exact plan. That exact plan. And then bump it up once the house is paid off, throwing more at investments.
Starting point is 01:00:26 And you can have more there at retirement. So well done, Thomas. Which is so encouraging to do all of this in your early 50s. Like he's jumping on the plan now, you know, on baby step three, starting retirement. I mean, it can be done. Yeah. It's great. Ever since we started doing this,
Starting point is 01:00:42 we've had people in their 50s and 60s and 70s, ask, you know, is it too late? Well, not if you're breathing. You still got a shot, you know? So, you know, just keep sucking wind and working on it, right? It's not too late. That's the idea. So you can do a lot of stuff in a few years,
Starting point is 01:01:00 but is it easier if you start earlier? Yeah. For your 21-year-olds? 100 bucks a month, and you're a millionaire. in no time, man. I mean, just shut up. Hello. That's way different than saving 800 bucks a month to end up with a half million.
Starting point is 01:01:16 That's right. You know, so, yeah, get that compound interest, the eighth wonder of the world, according to Einstein, working in your favor, right? And it's, it is, if you run compound interest numbers, it blow your freaking mind. How powerful that is. All right. Ted is with us in Nashville. Hi, Ted.
Starting point is 01:01:32 How are you? How are you? How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up? Wonderful. My wife's 31. I'm 36. We're on 4, 5, and 6. We owe about 328,000 on a house. It's worth about 550,000. We have about 300,000 saved currently for retirement. Way to go. I'm about six years away from being eligible from collecting my pension and retiring from the military. I'm in the blended retirement system.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Ah. And I was reading some of the literature recently, and I hadn't realized that I had to... have an option to take a reduced pension at either a 25% reduction or 50% reduction in exchange for the lump sum. Do it. And I got on Ask Ramsey last night. Yeah, and I asked Ramsey, I was very helpful. I ran a couple of models and it all looks like a good idea.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Yep. I mostly wanted to help deciding if I'm missing something, figuring out what exactly I want to do with the lump sum. Nope, you roll the lump sum into an IRA, so there's no taxes on it that way. And you leave it alone and you let the lump sum grow. because the lump sum will grow and feed you more than the pension would have fed you because the mutual funds are growing at a greater rate than the pension is. Yeah, it's not even close.
Starting point is 01:02:47 Yeah. And when you die, the pension dies with you, and lump sums don't die with you. So you end up with a half million or a million dollars as a result of this over in your inheritance versus when you die, your pension just goes poof. Yeah, the model that I ran, I'd be giving up $480,000 of future pension pension payments, and if I invested that all would grow to about 3.2 over the same time period. You did it correctly. That's why we tell you to do it. That's exactly it. No, you didn't miss a thing. That's how smart it is. It's not just a little bit smart. It's like way smart.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack. And suddenly, Everything changes. Yeah, and that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is essential, because it protects your family if the worst happens. Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage.
Starting point is 01:04:27 No gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long-term disability insurance. Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive but can't work. So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet. Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great. Take it.
Starting point is 01:04:56 If it's discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Zander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married, it's not optional. If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money still showing up. And that's why Zander is our go-to. They make it super simple to get the first. right coverage at the best price, no pressure, no upselling. I've trusted Jeff Zander and Zander insurance for over 25 years, and so is my family. So don't wait. It's fast, it's easy,
Starting point is 01:05:25 and it could make all the difference. Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family. Ethan is in Atlanta. Hi, Ethan. How are you? Good. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? Hey, so I'm going over my mom's finances with her. She's 55 years old as only $19,000 in retirement in a ton of consumer credit debt and a HELOC loan. And I built her a spreadsheet just to get everything out in front of her so that she could see what her finances look like. And I was trying to teach her the debt snowball method. She's got about $200 that she could start throwing.
Starting point is 01:06:31 at consumer credit debt, but I was wondering if there's a quicker way that we could get her. I say we, my little brother and I, we're trying to get her positioned better financially before she kind of hits that retirement age. That's very neat. And she's accepting your coaching. That's interesting. Yeah. Hesitently, but yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:56 I heard it. Nice, Ethan. How old are you? My little brother's. I'm 27. My little brother's 24, and we're just trying to do right by her mom and take care of it. I'm a mechanical engineer. I work on elevators. Ah, okay. All right. So you're a detail guy. Yes, I love spreadsheets.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Yeah, you love spreadsheets. Yeah, I can tell. And you're a good son. You're really helping her. That's awesome. And I appreciate that you're guiding her on that. What is her income? So she makes $20 an hour. So after taxes, her take home, is roughly, she nets $2,500, but her monthly gross is $3,400, so about $41,000 a year. What does she do for a living? She's a custodian at, um, and where's your dad? Alden County.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Um, my dad's kind of out of the picture. He's off doing his own thing. Just they're divorced? They're really contribute. They are separated. Yes, they're divorced. Are they separated or are they divorced? They're divorced.
Starting point is 01:08:02 Okay. All right. Because that'll matter in her future. How long have they been split up? I think they're coming up on like 11 years being divorced. Okay. Good. All right.
Starting point is 01:08:17 So how much credit card debt is there? So minus the HELOC loan, about $16,000. Okay. And is she using credit cards to get buy monthly that $3,400 isn't covering her experience? or is it just kind of flip its spending that's caused it? So it's kind of a messy situation. She right now is living off of just her paycheck. I made sure that she, like when I talked to her,
Starting point is 01:08:44 she's just using her debit card to pay off all of her debts. So she's not using her credit cards at all. Okay. I was in Palm Beach a while back, where Marlago is, among others. and about three doors down from Marlago is a property that is probably a couple of hundred million dollars in value. And the lady that lives there was Mary Kay of Mary Kay Cosmetics. She built that house.
Starting point is 01:09:14 You've heard of her, I'm sure. Yeah. Okay. She got divorced at 55 years old and started from nothing and decided I don't want to be broke anymore. So she started her whole life, her on court, her whole career, everything. started at your mom's age. And so I want that for your mom. I don't know if I want her to be in a $200 million house next to Marlago.
Starting point is 01:09:43 But anyway, but I want a second chapter. Yeah. Beyond the 11 year ago divorce, beyond being a custodian. Because she didn't sign up for the trip she's on. And I want her to sign up for a new trip. So I'm going to ask her. as her 65-year-old older brother, what she's going to do in her encore career? What's the next chapter of your life look like, honey?
Starting point is 01:10:11 What do you want to be when you grow up? Because now at 55 you get a second chance. You've got 40 years, 30 years of income potential. And I don't want you, there's nothing shameful about being a custodian making $20. But part of her problem is she's a custodian making $20. and the life that she's settled in on, she'll still be doing that 25 years from now if she doesn't have some kind of a wake-up call. You follow me? Yes.
Starting point is 01:10:42 And that's a bigger concern than a little bit of credit card debt. I agree. So I'm going to put a bunch of inspirational literature around her. Make sure she has friends that are inspiring her. Charlie Tremendous Jones said five years from today, you'll be the same person you are today except for the book. you read and the people you meet. So I want her to meet some new people because you become who you hang around with. I want her to read some new books.
Starting point is 01:11:10 I want her to get her nose back in her Bible and her tail end back in church. And I want her to get fired up and wired up about who she's going to be in this next chapter. And I want her making $45 an hour, 48 months from today. This is the kind of way I want to think about this for her. I want her to have a better life than she's got lined out right now. Then, obviously, the byproduct of that is it solves your problem that you're facing. Because part of what you're facing is you're taking very little income and trying to squeeze a lot out of it. That's what your spreadsheet told you, right?
Starting point is 01:11:48 Yes. Yeah. So part of what you got is a huge income problem. But the reason you have an income problem is you've got a perception problem and the dreams died on the first go around and we need a new set of dreams. So that's, yeah, I want Mary Kay story for her. I want that too. I was wondering what your thoughts on this were. If she only has about $19,000 in retirement due to the way the company that she's worked for is structured it, it's really messed up.
Starting point is 01:12:23 What if she were to take that $19,000 out of the 401K and obviously has to pay taxes on it and just knocks out of her consumer debt? And then she's left with only the $34,000 on the HELOC having to pay off that HELOC. And then that would make her cash flow about $1,300 a month. Yeah. If we don't do the other thing I was talking about, it won't matter. Right. Because she's going to struggle to make ends meet at $20 an hour. That's below the poverty level.
Starting point is 01:12:58 She's going to struggle. Okay. Yeah. And it's going to get harder and harder and harder and hard. harder as she ages because it's, you know, it's hard to be a custodian when you're 70. So, yeah, you know, your feet hurt. Hello. Your back hurts.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Hello. Yeah. And I wonder, you know, even Ken's book, we could give her, give her a copy of that because there's a great. Finding the work you're wired to do. Yeah, because there's a great assessment in the back just to start jogging her memory of what she enjoys, right? You find what you're good at, her natural bent.
Starting point is 01:13:28 That may has been squashed for years. I mean, who knows, right? But just to get some ideas. Yeah, the divorce definitely did. number of her. Oh, sure. Yes. It steals your, it stills your, I encourage her with this because when I showed her the spreadsheet, it deflated every kind of belief she had because she wasn't snowballing. She was paying extra. Yeah. So I know I would not cash out their retirement because I don't want you to have to, I don't want her to pay the 10% penalty plus her taxes on the retirement. I would stop adding anything
Starting point is 01:13:55 to retirement, and I would lean in and pick up extra jobs and start taking classes and do whatever we want to do for this next chapter. And then begin clearing the death that way. But if we waived a wand and she had no debt, including her HELOC, and she's at $20 an hour at 55 years old, and she has no hope of that changing much except for a little bit of a cost of living raise ever so often, and it goes from $20 to $20.45 or whatever, right? That's not, we're not prescribing a prosperous future with no debt. and so your spreadsheet's not going to get fixed until you put more on the top of it. But yeah, keep working on it and keep encouraging her.
Starting point is 01:14:40 But if I were in Hershey's, I would spend 80 to 90% of my energy dreaming again and setting up my next career and 10% of my energy trying to manage the mess that I'm sitting in. And I'm going to work my way out of this manure and go on to the next thing. The best revenge is success. So hang on. We'll send you a copy of Ken's book. Tess is in Detroit. Hi, Tess.
Starting point is 01:15:56 How are you? Hi, I'm well. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Well, my husband and I have been mulling around the idea of buying a new car. And we finally decided on one we might like. And separately, we look it up.
Starting point is 01:16:12 Well, okay, this is pretty good. But it'll fit us. And then I said, well, let's go buy it because we have cash. We can just buy it. and he said, oh, you know, they have zero percent financing. Why wouldn't we do that? And I thought, you know, I listen to the show all the time, but I don't really know. I would say you don't do it because you don't want any debt at all.
Starting point is 01:16:32 Correct. Why wouldn't you, you know, use their money? Yeah. Well, hypothetically, that would cause you to have more money or build some wealth because you did that. That would be the hypothetical. In other words, I'm paying no interest in, you know, my investment. for paying me. But the truth is what ends up happening is it's not going to be a problem for you.
Starting point is 01:16:55 You got plenty of money, I can tell. Yeah, it would not be a problem. Yeah. But you would lose money by doing that. No, no, you don't. You don't. Because here's why. Two reasons.
Starting point is 01:17:05 Number one, what car is it? What's the car? Well, I don't know if you, like if we did, it was a. No, what car is it? It's a Hyundai Santa Fe that we rented when we were in California. Okay. We wouldn't have ever looked at that car. but it was a rental and we're like, wow, this was really nice.
Starting point is 01:17:22 It was a rental. They rented one and liked it. Oh, oh, I see. I see. Oh, it was a rental that made us decide this. I understand. Understand. Yeah, that's happened to me.
Starting point is 01:17:32 Okay. Yeah. And I also decided on some cars I would never buy after I rented them. But the Jeep wagoneer. And the, anyway, the, yeah. Oh, bad car. I haven't looked at Hyundai's program, but every program I have ever looked at, the only way they give you 0% is if you pay MSRP. You pay full price.
Starting point is 01:18:05 You pay sticker. So 0% is not really 0%. So I bought a new Raptor Bronco the other day. Okay? Okay. It's a cute car. And I bought that. That's the adjective you use for your car.
Starting point is 01:18:20 I have a cute car. It is. It's cute. It's cute. I mean, compared to my big truck, it's a cute little car. But it's brand new. And I called the dealer that I work with on Ford's stuff when I'm buying it. Great people.
Starting point is 01:18:33 And I just buy it for a few dollars over invoice. Did they do that for everybody? Yeah, they do that for everybody. Because they get manufacturer rebates and kickbacks and 14 different things. And they make plenty of money on the car at invoice. So $500 over invoice, $1,000 over invoice, that kind of thing is fairly typical on a car like you're talking about like I'm talking about. Okay? And that's a lot less than MSRP, a lot less than it's on the sticker.
Starting point is 01:18:59 So 0% is not 0%. That's problem number one. Problem number two is I have met, we did detailed research with 10,000 millionaires and the number of millionaires that we interviewed that told us that they became millionaires because they used 0% financing and you kept their money working for them was precisely zero. None of them do. Millionaires just don't do this. Okay? Right. I agree.
Starting point is 01:19:23 I don't want a stinking car payment. Rebuttal for him. Even if it's a zero percent. I don't want a stinking car payment. And it's that simple. So, yeah, so, yeah, you win the argument. And it's an interesting discussion, but that's the two reasons. One is you're paying too much for the car.
Starting point is 01:19:41 And so it's not really zero percent because you really ended up, you know, in a sense, borrowing the money at an interest rate. So, and then the other thing is that will real people that have real money don't do this crap. And you've got real money and that's why you stopped and said, I don't think so, honey. Yeah. And the problem is when you don't have real money and you still go into this, if you miss a payment or something goes off, sometimes they backtrack all the interest and it's an absolute disaster too. Yeah, you can really get. The terms that you have to abide by to continue to get 0% and to get 0% in the first place are pretty horrendous. So basically very few people by the time they get through all that at the dealership end up with 0%. And so it's a bit
Starting point is 01:20:27 of a bait and switch to get you in the door and get you go, oh, we'll get you in the finance office and then we'll get your real loan, you know, and that happens a lot because you've got to have all kinds. Well, that's it. Don't do it. Michelle's in Sacramento. Hi, Michelle. Hi, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Oh, good. Okay, I just had a quick question about shared bank account. So my husband and I have been married for we're going on eight years. And we have a shared bank account.
Starting point is 01:20:59 And then we have a separate one through a failed business attempt, but it was a personal account. And he wants to keep that open and have my paycheck go directly to that. Because, okay, and so it's kind of, now I've got to think about it. And he's when we just barely got to baby step three. And we are completely out of debt. And we have our first month expenses for emergency funds in there saved up. And we're moving, trying to get that moved up. But I just don't feel comfortable keeping that other bank account open.
Starting point is 01:21:39 It feels like, you know, just. Okay, I'm confused. We are working on the baby steps, which indicates that both of you have some exposure to Ramsey. And yet he now has decided he has a better plan, and that's that we don't do anything. We separate everything and act like we're roommates. Yeah, kind of. But he's funny, like he still is giving me access to the family, the groceries and the all of that. Well, that's nice of him.
Starting point is 01:22:08 He wants to. And it's not like he's... Why does he want to do it, Michelle? I don't understand his why. Keep it open and put your income in that. For what, though? Like, to... Oh, so there's...
Starting point is 01:22:22 So he has an ex-wife and he's nervous if something happens there. He wants to make sure that we have separate that doesn't affect the family account. Okay. How can his ex-wife get into the family account? She can't. I'm not sure. No, she can't. I don't.
Starting point is 01:22:37 Even in California, they don't allow that. That's fair. Yeah. So it's just kind of a, I don't know if it's him trying to be like, he's trying to think that it's like a safety thing or a backup safety thing or whatnot. But he and I have sat down and had a conversation about it. I said I'm not comfortable with. Yeah, like I'm not doing it.
Starting point is 01:23:02 Yeah, we've already been through eight years. There's nothing to be insecure about. I'm not doing that. I know yours. And we've already gotten out of everything. If you're worried about me, we got a different issue, and it's not a separate account. If you're worried about her, you have a different issue, and it's your lack of knowledge of how the legal system works. She's gone.
Starting point is 01:23:19 She's called the X for a reason. She's a used to be. I mean, they've settled everything. She was a starter wife. She's a starter wife. You guys been married for eight years. So, so interesting. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:30 Yeah. And there's only lasted, like, maybe two or three. But that's the thing is, like, we're on the same page with everything. but it's just for some reason. And he wants it to go to like, you know, this is where we pull to go for. Well, I mean, when you say no, I'm not going to do that and I'm not okay with that. What's going to happen? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:23:52 I don't think it's anything. I don't know. Because to me, it makes sense to keep it everything in the same spot. You're right. You're right. Is he wanting to have a separate account in general to put all of, like, you guys together. And he's just saying, hey, I'm going to save your income over here. so when we go on trips or need to buy a car,
Starting point is 01:24:11 we pull out of that account. Is that what you were saying? Yeah, that's, yeah, that's. Okay, so I would have a, okay, so what I would do, Michelle, is I would go get our smart bundle at Fairwinds Credit Union. This is what Winston and I did. You have a checking account in there, and then you can have up to 10 high yield savings accounts. So we have our emergency fund in one. And then you can open up another one.
Starting point is 01:24:33 And yeah, and if you guys look at the budget and say, hey, we're going to do the budget, and we're going to save. some amount of money. This amount of money. And maybe it comes out to your paycheck. And that's what you all agree. Let's put my paycheck in this high-yield savings. And that's going to be our big bucket of savings throughout the next couple of years.
Starting point is 01:24:48 And we need to pull from it. Yes. That's what Winston and I do. I know. But you are putting, you were putting 15% of your income away before that. And you were already, you got a house mortgage before that. Yeah. But I'm saying the way.
Starting point is 01:25:01 She's a baby step three. Okay. So you should not be saving money in addition to 14% of your income. That's fair. Except for miscellaneous living expenses. But I am saying a different account that you guys put the amount of money, maybe that's your paycheck, to be saving in general later on in the babysaps, that's fine to have another account to do that. But both your names are on it and the amount that's going into it happens to be some amount. That's right.
Starting point is 01:25:24 That's right. But it doesn't need to be, we need to hide your check over here in a failed business checking account. Yuck. No, I'm trying to paint another picture for you, Michelle. Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruz. Ramsey personality, my daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at AAA-825-5-2-225.
Starting point is 01:26:06 Stephen is in Tulsa. Hi, Stephen. How are you? Hey, guys. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So my brothers and I were working on a plan.
Starting point is 01:26:18 We're trying to figure out the best and most efficient way to buy my parents. out of our family business so they can retire. Cool. Okay. So what does the business net profit? Net a year is right around a million. Gross. Last year, gross was about $8 million.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Okay. And what are they wanting to be paid? They haven't settled on a number. The company was evaluated at around $14 million. No, it's not. I wouldn't... Not even close. A million-dollar profit company is not worth $14 million on any planet.
Starting point is 01:27:00 So with 600 acres of land? Well, you might have a piece of real estate that's worth some money, but the company itself is generating a million dollars. And you would be crazy to pay $14 million for that. So what is the land worth? Sure. Yeah, the land itself is the bulk of that. I'd say that's at least $9 million, $9, $10 million.
Starting point is 01:27:22 Okay, that'd be about right. is 10 million. Yeah. So a company is netting a million is probably worth about four, okay? And the land is worth none. So you have two transactions, is my point. You have a real estate transaction. Yeah, okay, I see.
Starting point is 01:27:37 You have a real estate transaction and the purchase of the actual business. Because you can pick the business. What kind of business is this? Farming? Yeah, it's farming. It's a specialty crowd. Okay. I was going to say you can pick it up and go do somewhere else.
Starting point is 01:27:49 That's not possible. Okay. But, yeah. And do your parents own the land outright, Stephen? No, that's another thing. Several of the acres, they do own outright, but the majority of it has a loan on it. How much debt is against the $10 million in real estate? It's right around $2 million, so they have a good amount of equity.
Starting point is 01:28:15 Yeah. And a good amount of debt for a small company. Yeah. And, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. I'm trying to think how to structure this. All right, let's go back to the easiest one.
Starting point is 01:28:35 Okay, the easiest one is the business itself, not counting the land. Okay. If you were to give them $4 million for the property, or not for the property, but value the property of $10 million and we're going to give them $4 million, then the way I would do that is I would tell you and your brothers to take a, bare minimum wage for the work that you do, whatever your, what is your position with the company?
Starting point is 01:29:02 Operations manager. And what do you get paid for being operations manager? We need to get paid around $100,000. Okay, so if you, and you can live on that? Yes, completely. Okay. So I would tell you to continue to take $100,000 each as your salaries, which nets the company $1 million.
Starting point is 01:29:22 dollars. Am I correct? Yes. Okay. And I would give them the $1 million for four years. You get 100% of profits or 90% of profits for four years until we get to $4 million. If we have a better year and we have a great crop, we might get there in three years. We might get there in three and a half. But you're going to get out of there. You get a percentage of profits, the lion's share, the biggest portion of the profits, 90% or so,
Starting point is 01:29:51 until you get to $4 million, Mom and Dad. That's how you buy them out of the business. Then we've got a $10 million real estate transaction to do. That's a separate transaction. That's much more complicated. Because you take payments on $10 million out of your million dollar profits, and you don't have any profit anymore.
Starting point is 01:30:09 Yeah. So this business is not viable. It's not a profitable business if someone came in and borrowed to buy the land and the business and borrowed, and borrowed $14 million, they would lose money. Right. And so the business cannot afford to pay market value for the land and make a profit. Right.
Starting point is 01:30:34 So what are they going to do? They're going to will it to you? Are they going to take $4 million as their retirement and then give you boys the dirt when they die? And you guys work to pay that $2 million off? That's what I would recommend. But I don't know if your parents are that generous or can see their way to do that. I believe that that's the play, honestly. They don't have, you know, they've been running this business for a while, so I don't have any hard-lain-in-a-retirement. The business is their
Starting point is 01:31:01 retirement, so I would see that as a pretty good... They've got $4 million in a mutual fund four years from now, and they live off of that, and they give you guys the land. As a part of their estate planning, they could do it pre-death, unified estate tax gifts, and that kind of things. There's all kinds of ways you can do it. And we can even and do an LLC and do partial interests and devalue that, those interests. There's all kinds of stuff an estate planner can teach you to do to get that land transferred to y'all. And then you guys, after you get your parents paid off, go get that mortgage paid off quick.
Starting point is 01:31:31 And you're sitting there with all this debt free. And this is a stinking cash cow now. You're killing it. It's wonderful. Awesome. Awesome. Thank you for your help. Yeah, that's what I would do.
Starting point is 01:31:43 But if they want to be paid $14 million, I don't think you can do it. I think you'll go broke. He can't, but could they go out and get... They couldn't get... No one would give them that. Yeah, is what you were saying. What you'd have to do is sell the land and sell the business. But you can't sell the business separate from the land because it is a specialty for crop on that land.
Starting point is 01:32:02 So they are inextricably tied together where like, you know, Ramsey could operate in any building. We happen to own the building, but that's a separate thing than Ramsey. Sure. So you could pick this up and put it in another office building somewhere, right? and so the real estate doesn't destroy the business or vice versa. But where it's tied together with a specialty crop in particular, I don't know, maybe they're growing what avocados or something. It was in California, right?
Starting point is 01:32:32 So I don't know. I didn't ask him what the crop was. And, you know, it's probably some kind of something that has been done there for almost generational on that piece of dirt. So those trees or those plants are. and a sense of part of it. They're mature to produce the crop that they're producing, and you couldn't just go do that somewhere else, probably. I'm not an agricultural expert, but that's common sense, I guess.
Starting point is 01:32:58 Wow, interesting, very interesting. Yeah. Yeah, so one of the things we've worked with a lot in our entree leadership materials is succession planning, and we've done a bunch of it here at Ramsey. I mean, you're looking at part of it right now. Rachel is one of the Ramsey personalities. the ability to carry on a brand after I'm not here for whatever reason. And so you've got to have a plan to carry on the brand.
Starting point is 01:33:25 You've got to have a plan to carry on the leadership. You've got to have a plan to carry on the ownership. And Rachel and our brother Daniel and I just did a panel at the Entree Leadership Summit in Disney two weeks ago for 3,000 business owners. And we're talking about family business. Yeah, and I think what's hard in family business, depending on how it's structured, is that for a lot of people, they grow a business. and that's their retirement.
Starting point is 01:33:47 And so when you hand it off, purchasing the business is usually the name of the game in family business. And so making sure you sit down and you do it well with an attorney, right? You said the estate attorney, but lots of communication on the front end, too, that everyone understands what's happening. Every one. Really important. All the spouses and everyone understands. If you're a business owner who's serious about growth, you've got to be at entrepreneur. Leadership Summit 2027.
Starting point is 01:34:43 Summit is our world-class leadership conference where you will learn from the people who have influenced the way we lead at Ramsey. You'll also connect with like-minded business owners who are facing the same challenges as you. To get your tickets for May 27, go to Entreeleadership.com slash summit. Thanks for joining us, America. We're so glad you're here. If you're buying or selling a home, it's a big deal. You need to get someone in your corner that really knows their stuff.
Starting point is 01:35:29 not somebody got a license three weeks ago and you knew them in high school. No, that's not what we're doing. We're getting a pro that sells 100 houses a year, something like that. Get somebody's high-octane, high-protein. Ramsey-Trusted only has high-octane, high-protein real estate agents in our program. The Ramsey-Trusted program is the only way to find a top agent that we have interviewed. We have done the due diligence on them. It's a free service.
Starting point is 01:35:55 Find a local pro, a Ramsey-trusted real estate pro, for free. at ramsysolutions.com slash agent. Jake's in Columbus, Ohio. Hi, Jake. How are you? Fantastic. How are you doing? Better than I deserve.
Starting point is 01:36:09 What's up? All right. So about a couple years ago, I decided to purchase a home with my mother, and with the agreement that she'd only be there for like two to three years, and then it essentially transferring to my name. So recently, we've been having more arguments because she likes to run the household to her way. I like to do it my way. and she pulled from her 401K to pay for the down payment for the house.
Starting point is 01:36:36 So she only has about $8,000 in retirement. So my question is, I'm trying to figure out how we can get out of this with both of us not being scaped. Well, I mean, how much did she put into the house? I believe the down payment was about $10,000. Okay. And so what do you owe on the house now? 239 the last time that I checked.
Starting point is 01:37:02 And what's it worth today? The last thing I saw, it was 259 to 260. Okay. So if you sold the house and she got her $10,000 back or whatever she put down back, and then you split any other profits, what would be wrong with that? Yeah, that's fair. I guess it's mostly just I'm concerned because she's 57 and only has about $8,000 in retirement. and, you know, I want to help her the best way that I can.
Starting point is 01:37:33 Yeah, but keeping the house doesn't affect that positively. Yeah. She's got to get on her own and start putting money away for retirement. That's what fixes that. The house is not causing her to have retirement or be broke. Yeah. What does she make? I think, I'm not sure what she makes now.
Starting point is 01:37:54 She made about 40 last year, but. What was your dad? My dad passed away when I was 16. I was like 11 years ago. Wow, I'm sorry. It's all right. And so she has struggled ever since? Yes and no.
Starting point is 01:38:14 She, for a time period, had a really well-paying job, but the amount of hours she worked, she said kind of just burn her out. But that's where most of her retirement money came from in the first place, it was just from that job. How often is she working? her work schedule look like right now? So she works. She has two different jobs, but they're both like part-time. One, she's an account for a restaurant, the other one.
Starting point is 01:38:40 She's kind of like a personal assistant. The problem is, is your mom is a widow with a broken heart, and she needs to dream again because she's not got any income, and she's 55 years old. She's still very young. Yeah. And she desperately needs to say, what am I going to do with me? my life the next 20 years. I need a career where I make, where I'm working towards, I'm making $100,000 a year and not working two part-time jobs and living with my son.
Starting point is 01:39:12 She's emotionally just getting by. Well, she says she doesn't want a career. She needs a career. Yeah. She needs something to put her hand to give her meaning and give her something to drive for. She's too young to sit on her but she can't, and she can't afford it. So consequently, her career has been deteriorating rather than going up. Right. And so this is what she needs. So it will be good for you guys.
Starting point is 01:39:44 It'll be good for her because it will force her to face all of this for y'all to separate this out. This house does need to be sold. If you give her, how old are you 27, 28, right? Yes. If you give her all the money from the house and just go live your life. you're okay yeah so give her all the money and tell her to put it and help her put it in some good investments and help her to you pay for a class and go take a class at the community college and start to what do you want to be mom do you want to be a nurse now do you want to what is it you want to do
Starting point is 01:40:16 with your life you're going to have to do something and so it's time to sign up and dream but the the plan that you guys had before dad died is is over then now we need a new different plan we need a new plan and it's heartbreaking but it is her reality and she's perfectly capable. Her biggest problem is she's just still living with the heartbreak. Am I wrong? Yeah. They divorced when I was a baby, so it wasn't.
Starting point is 01:40:45 Okay. So she's never really done anything since then, then. Right. Well, she had, like I said, like that, I think she's only there for like six years, six or seven years, the one job that she had, I was saying, that she actually had. again come from. But yeah, after that, she hasn't really had anything that was like... What are you doing, Jake?
Starting point is 01:41:09 What's your job? I work as a utility locator. I locate power lines. Okay, okay. Yeah, I think it's good for both of you to sell this house. You both need separate financial lives instead of trying to mingle it together. And, you know, and I think for both of you to encourage each other in this new endeavor for her, and you encourage her.
Starting point is 01:41:30 But there's only so much you can do, Jake. You're not going to be able to change her. You can't make her go do something. But you can speak and be encouraging in your conversations with her and what you see in her and what she's good at, what she loves, I mean, all of it. But I would for sure sell this house. Now, prospering for someone, this is the second call we've taken a day on a 55-year-old lady, right? Prospering for someone is not merely making more money.
Starting point is 01:42:00 you're prospering when your spiritual life is full, your relational life is full, your taking care of your body, your meaning, your physical life is full. Yes, all of it, yeah. That is prospering, but these things are holistic in that they are tied together. And so when you allow one area of your life to completely deteriorate, a hundred percent of the time some of the other areas are also deteriorating. And so you get out of shape. You know, you've given up on God.
Starting point is 01:42:35 So you walked away from your spiritual life. You isolate yourself from friends. You pull away from relationships. All of these things are. And what we find is that people that are successful work the opposite side of that. And they're very intentional about building friendships. They're very intentional about their physical health. They're very intentional about their spiritual walk.
Starting point is 01:42:54 They're very intentional about their career and their money income. and they do all tie together. If you have only one of those working in the wheel of life, as Zig Ziglar used to call it, these different areas of it, you only have goals in one area of your life or two areas of your life. The other side of the wheel is flat, and you have, anytime you have a flat tire, you have friction. Yep. And it's a problem. And so.
Starting point is 01:43:19 You know, we were just having, we did a podcast with a guy yesterday. Yeah. You did one interview and I did another. And he was talking about how he interviews very high, successful people, billionaires, people that have sold companies, you know, I mean, just insane. And he said, and you can sit with them and you feel almost like this energy from some. Some are still anxious and discontent and nothing is satisfying them. And he said, all these buckets of their life, you can tell there are absent, some of them. They're not taking care of themselves physically. They don't have good relationships.
Starting point is 01:43:46 And other ones, you get this holistically fee. And he said, and you feel a piece. There's something about this, this well-roundedness. And again, there's certain seasons of life you're going to be working on your marriage more or certain seasons in your life are going to be working on your career more. I mean, you know, it goes through seasons, but overall, the overall scope of your life, having, he would call these buckets, he said, all of them full. And like, there's a, there's a leveling to that and a beauty, a grounding that you really do feel. And it's those people that live a peaceful life. Yeah. Absolutely. That's how it works. So that, that's, Jake, that's what we want for your mom. And that's her advice. Five years from today, you'll be the same person you are today.
Starting point is 01:44:27 except for the books you read, the people you meet. The goals you set, the decisions you do towards those goals. That's Charlie Tremittus Jones, and he was exactly right. All right, let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey trusted agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling.
Starting point is 01:45:24 They're people you can trust to have. have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey trusted agent near you at Ramsey Solutions.com slash agent. That's RamseySolutions.com slash a... Ramsey Show Question of the Day is brought to you by Y-ReFi. Out of control private student loans can make it feel like you're stuck financially. But YREFI helps borrowers explore refinancing with low fixed rates and payments that make sense for their budget.
Starting point is 01:46:12 Visit YREFI.com slash Ramsey. Y, the letter Y, R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey might not be in all states. Today's question comes from Sarah in Illinois. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and he recently took a job four hours away. I own my condo and still pay about $1,500 a month in the mortgage, even though I'm at his place 60% of the time. He's asked me to pay for a bigger apartment since we both work from home and need more space when I'm there.
Starting point is 01:46:41 While I still have my own bills, I understand the larger place benefits both of us. Should I help pay for the new apartment? No, Sarah, I would not. That's his apartment, and you have yours. And if he wants a bigger one, that's great. And if he wants his girlfriend to live there, maybe she should be his wife. Oh, that changes the equation. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 01:47:10 I wouldn't be mingling bills. I wouldn't be trying to pay a rent. Because here's the thing, if you guys break up and then he's stuck with that rent that he can't afford, what's he going to do? So it's way better when you are dating to keep your finances separate. You pay your stuff. He pays his. And if he wants a bigger apartment so that you all can work there together and all the things. He wants you to live in that city and you sell your condo and we get a place there.
Starting point is 01:47:34 Oh, that would be a great idea after we're married. So this is what's putting the problem on it. Yeah, put a ring on it. That's the problem. because it sets you up for a doubt you know you're getting a bad end of this deal all the way around it's it's killer for you so um it this used to be you know when i started this show rachel the the biggest thing that came up was credit card debt cut up your credit cards and now i still say that and then the next thing was we laughed and called it the instead of the dave ramsay show
Starting point is 01:48:08 in the old days we called it the sell the car show because like the answer to every question was sell the car sell the car sell the car are. Now the answer every question is get married. It's so true, though. The amount of relational mess that happens, the entanglement of dating people today. When you are dating, you're not married. Keep it separate. When you are married, combine it. It's just that easy. Quite confusing it. Yeah. It's because the data is in. It's in. I mean, the research is in. There's stacks and stacks of paper. that says, you're screwed.
Starting point is 01:48:46 That's what it says. Every bit of the data says you are messed up. Because, again, I covered this in another hour. But a lady in her 30s has a net worth if she's not married and she's living with someone and or does not married, a net worth that is about one-tenth of her married friends. And the guy is what five times has a fifth of his net worth. And a guy has about 25% of the net worth. he should have, yeah. And so there's a thing we used to call in the literature, the marriage advantage. And it's still there, but it's even more pronounced now in the financial realm, but it's pronounced
Starting point is 01:49:27 in other realms as well. Like, for instance, physical health. A man that is married lives seven years longer than a man that's not, on average. That's just a statistic. Okay. I mean, you could argue why we can have lots of fun with that. Women help men. That's why. That's why. Help them be better people. Are you going to eat that?
Starting point is 01:49:49 Yeah. I mean, that's real. And so the... Now, don't get married to someone who's a loser, too. But don't be dating those people as well. Like we're not saying just because you... I don't think that's her problem. No, but just in general.
Starting point is 01:50:07 We're just like making generalities. So remember, be smart about it. If you enter into a lifelong covenant, make sure it's someone worth doing that, but people you're dating long term should be worth that. Yeah. But here's what's interesting on this one. For Sarah's sake, look at this. He takes a job and leaves.
Starting point is 01:50:26 Now follow me. Oh, now pay for it. No pay for it. Now pay for following me. Yeah. I mean, yeah. What a prince. Yeah, there we go.
Starting point is 01:50:42 It's all right. there on the paper. I'm just saying David is in Phoenix. Hey, David, how are you? Hi, Dave. Hi, Rachel. Good. It's a pleasure to speak with the both of you. You too. I've heard that I've heard Dave talk before about the If Dave Dies meeting and it got me really thinking about my own family and I feel like I need to have a similar conversation with my parents soon as they get older. Just to give some context, I'm 23 years old. I have three siblings. My parents are 72 and 68 years old. My oldest sister is in her early 50s. And I also have a brother and sister in their 20s who both have Asperger syndrome and they still live with my parents.
Starting point is 01:51:19 My parents are both retired. And to my understanding, they have a net worth of around $2 million. I'd like to have a family conversation sometime this year so everyone can get on the same page, especially my parents and my oldest sister, about the expectations for responsibilities and how the assets would be handled when they eventually pass away. Because as of right now, we're both kind of in the dark. So I want to know what are the most important questions that I should be asking and what are some of the key topics discussed in the Ramsey family meetings that would be most important for any family to cover. It's a great question. You have to lay a foundation with your family first before you have that other part of the conversation. And the first part of the foundation is mom and dad, I am not wanting to have this conversation because I want any of your money.
Starting point is 01:52:09 I don't need any of your money. I am concerned about my two brothers. Is it a brother and a sister that have Sperger's? Yeah, it's a brother and a sister. I'm concerned about my brother and sister and how they're going to be cared for and what your wishes are. And if I don't know your wishes in detail,
Starting point is 01:52:27 it will be hard for me to honor your memory. And I'm deeply concerned that I can do the right thing and that my older sister and I are in agreement on how we're going to do exactly what you want us to do when you pass away. Okay. And they need to hear that that's a foundational thing. You are not coming at this like, I want some of the money. Oh, no, we're not going to talk about it because we're giving each other two that are disabled, you know. Yeah. And so, you know, they'll get their backup. You know, you'll get a resistance there, a defensiveness that we don't even need to start with. So let's
Starting point is 01:53:01 just lay that down. Say, the only reason for this is for me to have the information to be able to honor your wishes and execute and ensure that what you've wished in the well, even if I'm not the executor. And to make sure that brother and sister have the documents in place that they're going to be taken care of. I want to make sure that things are laid out from a legal perspective. Once I know what you want, then I'm going to help you get what you want. Now, then do we have a proper will, which in this case would include probably special needs trusts to take care of the two special needs people, right? And then how. And then how. is that money going to be invested and what do you want done with that property and what do you
Starting point is 01:53:40 want done with that investment account and how do you want it handled and who do you want us to contact and who's the executor you know is it sister that's going to be you know doing all the details is my older sister the executor that's fine if you don't want me to do anything with it i won't do anything with it all of that's okay i just want to know that that for for you're all's peace of mind that that we're all on the same page okay and and then what we're going to do once Once we're all on the same page, the Ramsey thing is we just sit down and part of the meeting is we go through the real estate that we own and we look at it and we go, okay, here's what the will says about this real estate, what portions of it are, you know, in a trust and which portions of it are in LLCs and what portions have already been moved into the children's trust because we've done some stuff there from an estate planning standpoint tax-wise. Here's the life insurance that's in place and here's the beneficiaries on it and where it will go. in my case there's not any.
Starting point is 01:54:39 And, you know, what do you want to have happen with the home place? What do you want to have happen with this or that? And it can go all the way down to my wife's 97-year-old dad told the kids about eight or 10 years ago his kids to walk through the house and put a sticker on the back of something if they wanted it. And so the house has got all these sticky notes in the back of the pictures and the backs of the figurines and stuff. Yeah, no, I will say it's funny. He asks, the meeting is not called if Dave dies. It's when Dave dies.
Starting point is 01:55:10 Dave will not live forever. If Dave dies this year. As long as we want. It's if Dave dies this year. Okay, that's it. It's the Monty Python meeting. I'm feeling much better. We want him to live forever.
Starting point is 01:55:19 It's just a flesh wound. But it's not going to happen, but we love him. Hey, what's up guys? It's Jade Warshot. Listen, summer spending adds up so fast between vacations and road trips and camp fees and events. And all the extra gas and grocery runs, money can get tight before you. you know it. To really get your money under control and keep it that way, you're going to need a plan. And that's what you'll get with the every dollar budget app. It helps you track your spending,
Starting point is 01:56:02 free up cash to put toward debt and savings, and it's the simplest way to make a plan for your money before the month begins. So no more wondering where your money's going. You're telling it where to go. Download every dollar in the app store or Google Play and start for free today. Our scripture of the day, John 1427, peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Babe Ruth said, never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Starting point is 01:56:59 Brianna is with us in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Hi, Brianna. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? I'm wondering if I should get a.
Starting point is 01:57:10 work from home job. I am a mom of three under two and we're going under every time we get paid. Oh my goodness. Do you have twins? No. I just had a baby. He's three months. I just about three months old. Oh, wow. Okay. So how much is the new job work from home is going to pay? I don't know. I'd have to see and find one, I guess. But I did look into it and I'd have to make at least $3,000 a month. for it to be worth it because right now we are on like SNAP and WIC and Medicaid, so I'd have to be able to make enough to cover all of that. What does your husband make? He makes roughly 43 after taxes.
Starting point is 01:57:59 Okay. And we're about 34,000 in debt. What does he do? He is a bricklayer. He works for the union. So with $43,000 income, you qualify for $4,000. every part of welfare? I didn't know that.
Starting point is 01:58:15 Yes. Through the winter is when we qualify. We're just getting out of the winter because, like, we went through about two or three months where the max amount of money that we made was maybe $800 for that whole month. So we qualified for all of that. Rick and Medicaid, you qualify. But in the summer when he's working, you don't qualify. Yes, yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:38 Okay, that makes more sense. Now I'm tracking with you. All right. Yeah. So he makes a lot more in the summer, like a bazillion times more. So how long has he been doing that? He's been with the same company for about five years now, six years maybe. All right.
Starting point is 01:58:57 He just started working. Yeah, my first piece of advice for you all would be to pan back from this and say, we're a young couple with three children, and we're going to have to make some overall. decisions about his career that allow us to feed our children without the government doing it. So what is he going to do in the winter when he's not laying brick, in other words? We've gotten by by God's grace at this point. No, you got by by Snap because he wasn't working in the winter.
Starting point is 01:59:39 So he needs to be working in the winter. That's my point. Is he not doing anything in the winter? Yep. He'll do side jobs. Yeah. But he didn't have anything this winter. Yeah, he needs to be making $1,000 a month somewhere.
Starting point is 01:59:54 I mean, $1,000 a week, you know what I mean? In the winter, waiting tables. And what are we going to be doing when we're 44? Because this plan's not real good. Yep. It's leaving your family very vulnerable. Are you stressed? And I don't know how you're going to work at home with three kids under two
Starting point is 02:00:13 and get any work done. Yeah. Did you have a career before? Yes. I actually, that's why we have, we have about 12,000 in student loans because I was a medical assistant. Okay. But you're saying with daycare for three under two, that's the most priciest age to put
Starting point is 02:00:36 them in daycare. It's what you're saying. It's not making sense from a... Yeah, you can't go out of the workplace. I understand that. I don't have a problem with that assessment. But I really want you guys to visit this instead of just going and saying our plan that we didn't have a plan was him. He's a bricklayer and he doesn't work much in the winter.
Starting point is 02:00:56 And we keep having babies. This is not a plan. It's put you guys in. It's painted you into a corner and your life is not fun. And so I want good things for you guys. And it's going to involve him making some changes in views on his income. what's he going to be doing in the next five years that doubles his income or in the next 10 years that doubles his income
Starting point is 02:01:19 and that sustains his family through the winter he needs to be asking himself that you too as a couple need to be asking yourselves that and then that starts the whole conversation so part of your debt is a student loan debt what's the rest of it 17 is in a truck loan and then we have 4,000 in a personal that got a zero one winter and then roughly about 15 in medical.
Starting point is 02:01:47 Some of that's in collections, and then we owe family about 1,000. Okay. I'm going to be mean. Are you ready? I am. I'm going to say you're going to sell the truck. No, I'm going to say it worse than that, okay? You do not get to own a $17,000 truck when you're taking welfare to pay for your kids, food.
Starting point is 02:02:09 I agree. That is not okay. My husband missed that decision about three years ago. This truck has eaten us alive since we got it. And this truck's got to go. Everything. It's got to go. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:22 The only, so I'm going to, I guess, and then if this is going to be the thing, I've been telling him that we have to get rid of it as well. But if we only get about 10 grand for it, we're still going to have to pay that seven outright when we sell the truck, and we don't have any savings at all whatsoever. You'll be borrowing it from the place. that has the truck loan to cover the difference. And I bet you can get more than that for it if you sell at private sale. But he's been looking up trade-in and looking up what Carvano will give him for it,
Starting point is 02:02:53 and that's nothing compared to what he can actually get for it. A good working truck will bring a lot of money in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Okay? And so he can get a lot more than 10 for it. And you're going to have, you probably are in the hole some. I'm not arguing at that point. You're going to borrow a little money to cover that hole. but I'd rather be $4,000 or $5,000 in death than $17.
Starting point is 02:03:13 And again, I'm addressing head on the decision-making paradigm that you guys are using to run your life. And what you're doing is you're going, I'm going to do this over here, and I'm going to do this over here, I'm going to do this over here. But when you tie those three things together, they're not logical anymore. And it's creating pain for you guys, and I don't want that for you. I want you to win. Well, and you want to make sure your money habits and decisions, kind of what you're saying, regardless of what happens, are steady, meaning that before they had kids, she was working as a medical assistant. He's a bricklayer can kind of, you know, seasonally, I'm sure they were fine, right?
Starting point is 02:03:47 Like his seasonal work and her, they could just make it. And then you pull her out of the workforce with three babies. Yep. And suddenly your paradigm has to shift to your point. You can't, like, you can't have that. Yeah, you cannot continue to do what you've been doing. And I'm talking to him. Yeah, what you did three years ago, meaning your truck, your choices on restaurants.
Starting point is 02:04:08 I mean, like all of it. It all changes because your life has changed. And your choices on side jobs in the winter. Yep. And or an overall career change over the next five years that causes your family to be able to stabilize and sustain. Yeah, that gets you to 70. I mean, the manual side of the trades is wonderful. It's amazing. And so there's a lot of opportunity for that. There are a lot better than 40 grand a year. Yep. Yeah. And so, but yeah, don't get stuck in what I'm doing is okay when what I'm doing is not okay.
Starting point is 02:04:38 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's the thing. And I'm not hollering at you. I'm not hollering at him, for that matter. But, you know, when he was by himself and wasn't married and he was laying brick and he had a little downtime in the winter, he'd work it out. But now he's got responsibilities.
Starting point is 02:04:54 And, Brian, I don't even know how you're coherent. Yeah, yeah. Making a sentence of the three-month-old and two babies. Like, that's, like, you guys, you have a lot on your plates. And honestly, if you were just a full-time mom taking care of the household and making sure those babies are alive at the end of the day, right? I mean, like, that's a full-time job. So I understand the money needs to happen,
Starting point is 02:05:15 and I hope that, yeah, there's a good situation that you can bring in some. But, I mean, honestly, call me old school, but I'm leaning on him. Dude, get to work. I am too. Get to work. I got three babies at home that I'm taking care of. That's no joke. And it's not that he's not working hard now,
Starting point is 02:05:32 but it's get to work in a way that it brings in the money to take care of. your family and get your truck sold, dude. Yeah, but when you bring $800 home a month? I know, get your truck sold. Then you get to work. Yeah, you got to get some stuff going here and get you a $5,000 truck. That's the thing. Call us back, Brianna, if you guys need anything.
Starting point is 02:05:51 We are, we're charentful. We're sharing for you. We'll send you a copy of the total money makeover and get you on every dollar and try to help you if we can. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

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