The Ramsey Show - I Have Over $300k Cash Sitting In My House (I'm Scared Of The Stock Market)

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

💵 ⁠⁠Have a money question? Ask Ramsey is here to help.⁠⁠ 📈 ⁠⁠Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan.⁠⁠ Ken Coleman and Jade Warshaw answer your questions and discuss: "How do I stop my mother from going into credit card debt?" "I have $300k in cash sitting in my house" "I'm $250k in debt. Should I file bankruptcy? " "Should I stay in a relationship if I'm paying for everything?" "I was fired from my job last year and my life has been a nightmare since". Next Steps: ✔️⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Help us make the show better. Please take this short survey.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠send us an email⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💻 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Need help with your taxes? See who we trust.⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💵 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🚢 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Set sail with Dave Ramsey. Book your cabin today.⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect With Our Sponsors: Get 10% off your first month of ⁠⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠⁠ Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠Boost Mobile⁠⁠⁠⁠ to switch today! Go to⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Casper Sleep⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use promo code RAMSEY to learn more If you want your car to keep going and going, trust ⁠⁠⁠⁠Christian Brothers Automotive⁠⁠⁠⁠. Find a local shop and get an exclusive Ramsey discount of 10% off Learn more about⁠⁠⁠⁠ Christian Healthcare Ministries⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get started today with⁠⁠⁠⁠ Churchill Mortgage⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get 20% off when you join ⁠⁠⁠⁠DeleteMe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Go to⁠⁠⁠⁠ FAIRWINDS Credit Union⁠⁠⁠⁠ for an exclusive account bundle! Debt collectors hassling you? Take back control of your life at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Guardian Litigation Group⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find top health insurance plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Health Trust Financial⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code RAMSEY to save 20% at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Mama Bear Legal Forms⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ NetSuite⁠⁠⁠⁠ today to learn more Get started with ⁠⁠⁠⁠YRefy⁠⁠⁠⁠ or call 844-2-RAMSEY Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ Zander Insurance⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your free instant quote today!   Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Ramsey Show Highlights⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🧠 ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Dr. John Delony Show⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🍸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Smart Money Happy Hour⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💡 ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Rachel Cruze Show⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💰 ⁠⁠⁠⁠George Kamel⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🪑 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📈 ⁠⁠⁠⁠EntreLeadership⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life from the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. This is the Ramsey show alongside Jade Warshaw. I'm Ken Coleman. Excited to have you with us. The phone number to jump in. Your question today is AAA 825-5-2-25.

Triple-8-8-25-2-2-25. Let's start it off with Steve, who joins us in Atlanta, Georgia. Steve, how can we help today? Hey, Dave, thanks for taking my call. Sure. So I'm trying to get some advice from you. I've got kind of a long-term problem here with my mother, and I think I should give a little backstory here.

About 15 years ago or so, her house was paid for, and we had her car paid off. I knew she's always been a spender. I've been supplementing her income the last 10 years. And, you know, I knew she was spending on credit cards. So, you know, first I gave her $3,000 to pay them off, then I gave her the next year, $5,000. and then it went to seven.

And then in 2024, she had racked up 21,000 in credit card debt. And I had a heart-to-heart with her, and I paid them off. I gave her $21,000. And... Let me guess it's right back. Yeah, I told her I was done.

I was not doing this anymore. and it's just kind of continued. Where is it today? Yes. She's at 33 now. So she went above and beyond. She outdid herself. Yes.

So last year, I think I should, if I can continue a little. I'm just trying to figure out how I can help my mother. I want her to be okay, but I don't know. I paid her a mortgage. off. And I didn't pay her credit cards off. I felt like at least I have some control and this is an asset that's appreciating. What's your question, Steve? I know you want to keep going on, but we're pretty clear what's going on here on our end. So what's your question for us? So my question is, you know, what to do? You know, I don't want to do what you said. Don't pay them, Steve.

Steve, were you just playing poker with her and trying to bluff her when you told her you weren't going to do it again? Well, you know, I guess how do I... No, no, no, no, Steve, Steve, Steve, that was a real question. That was a real question. Yes or no? Were you bluffing or did you mean it that you were never going to pay off credit cards again? I meant it. Okay, then now you have to prove that you meant it.

there's something that you're there's something in you that feels like you're bad or feels guilt for not solving her problem and your guilt about not solving her problem is stronger than your logic for actually doing the right thing well you know I understand that and so I stood you know I took my guns she begged me to pay them off again I didn't do it like I said I paid the mortgage off. In fact, she actually got mad at me for doing that as crazy as that sounds. It does sound crazy, but it sounds crazy for both of you guys. Here's what I want you to not do. If Ken and I give you a response going forward, I want you to not answer with the past. I want you to answer with something also that will be going forward. Is that fair enough?

Okay. Because the milk is spilled, right? Here we are. There was years of, uh, enablement. And now we're at a precipice of a new way of doing life for both you and your mother, right? Correct. Hopefully. And so Ken and I are going to help you get to that point and go forward from here and leave the past in the past. Yeah. So I guess my question to this is bankruptcy. She's, she's, she signed up for a debt consolidation company and, and, uh, I don't want her to get taken advantage of. So that's the gist of my cause. I don't think you have to worry about her being taken advantage of. I think she's the take advantage of, right?

I don't think you have to worry about that. Well, Steve, listen, I have a lot of sympathy for you. I really do. But you called us and you're asking us questions, and the question that you're not actually asking is what is okay for me to do and what is not okay for me to do. You're not asking it that way. And you're just circling the drain emotionally with her.

And so you're asking, like, what about bankruptcy and all these things? Here's the deal. Your mother would be considered by the state, wherever she lives, right, as capable of managing her own money. Yes or no. Yes. Okay. And even then you're struggling. You're still making excuses for your mom.

Your mom is a grown woman who has got all kinds of pain. and there's a backstory that leads to all of this behavior. But none of it matters. That's why I'm not going to list it out. What matters is, is you, and Jade nailed it. You're in a really tough emotional spot. And I think what you're supposed to do here is acknowledge what kind of a tough emotional spot you're in. I would share it one last time with mom.

Hey, I'm now out financially, but I will tell you the residue is I'm emotionally worried for you. And I feel like I'm not being a good son. But here's the problem, Mom. If I bail you out, you're not going to stop and it's going to hurt our relationship. So I can no longer worry about you. So I'm going to lay it out. Mom, you can't keep doing this. Here are your options right now.

You're going to have to manage your own money and you're going to have to wash your hands of this. Or else it's going to drive you absolutely emotionally insane. And then you're going to end up truly resenting your mother. Yeah. This is a sad part is that you can't do anything. Are you the only child, Steve? Is it just you? Well, I grew up, yeah.

So technically I am and we could go down some deeper rabbit holes. No. I grew up with two stepbrothers and a step sister. Okay. And they're not in the equation today? Are they in the equation today or no? They're not. Okay.

And how old is your mom? She's getting ready to turn eight. Okay. She has some physical problems. I agree with Ken. She's 80, but she's still here. She sounds like her mind works plenty well, right? She's not slipped.

Does she slip in? Without going down the rabbit hole, she's had some depression issues for certain. Depression, okay, but I'm talking about is she with it? You know, does she, no dimension? Nothing like that. Right. Aside from her giving you the power of attorney and basically her custodian, for lack of a better word, I know that's not the right word. So take it easy on me in the comments. But aside from her agreeing for you to manage her money, that's all you can do. So maybe you talk mom into doing that with her being 80 with health problems. Then you can manage her money. But aside from

her giving you that, Steve, she'll die with this debt is the sad part. But that's not your problem. And I'm really sad that you're in this situation. I think your one move is to go, Mom, will you let me be in charge of all your money? Give me total control, and I'll take care of you. That's the only shot you got. Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family,

and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes. Yeah, and that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is essential because it protects your family if the worst happens. Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that

people often overlook, and that's long-term disability insurance. Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive but can't work. So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet. Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great. Take it. If it's discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Zander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married, it's not optional. If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money still showing up. And that's why Zander is our go-to. They make it super simple to get the right coverage at the best

price, no pressure, no upselling. I've trusted Jeff Zander and Zander insurance for over 25 years, and so is my family. Don't wait. It's fast, it's easy, and it could make all the difference. Go to Xander.com or call 800, 356, 4282. Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family. All right, let's go to Stewie in Chicago. I hope I said that right. Stewie, how can we help? So I've got probably the opposite problem of the last caller. I am kind of a saver. Okay. And maybe over the last 10 years, I've been collecting cash, collecting cash.

I always throw it in a drawer. And I never really use it. And now I realize, just the other day I realized they've got about $300,000 in my house. Oh, wow. Wow. And I'm not, I'm unsure of what to do with it and how to, is it, do I take it to the bank? Is it okay? Is that your only money, Stewie?

Is the $300,000, or have you ever used a bank? No, I have a bank. I have a bank. I don't know. It started as kind of a game 10 years ago. I'd save $100 bills and I just save. I don't know. Yeah, but that's a lot.

I've got some money in a bank, but I just, I got more than I. It's too much at the house. Yeah. Yeah, it's a risk. It's too much. What do you have? Do you have a traditional savings account? I have.

I have got a checking account and I've got a high yield savings account for some other money that I've got Okay Do you have any investment accounts Anything that's like a 401k Or an IRA? Anything like that? I never have

Okay okay how old are you Stewie I 50 I just turn 50 You have no 401k No retirement account of any kind Never have Who do you work for? Well you don't need to tell us that

Because I want to keep you as private as possible But what kind of work do you do? I'm self-employed. I work in agriculture. And our business takes in a lot of cash. And I just, at one point I decided, you know what I like cash? I'm going to keep it around. And I got out of hand.

Well, listen, so Jade is pulling up her handy-dandy investment calculator. This is off of Ramsey Solutions website, ramsysolutions.com. You need to pay close attention, Stewie, with the numbers. And this she'll tell you what to do. So Stewie, with you just saving these $100 bills, what would you say in a month, how much do you think you put away into savings under your mattress or wherever it is in your house? I have no one. It slowed down quite a bit. My family is a lot larger now. The kids are bigger. We're spending more. Sure, but I mean, is it 500 bucks? Is it, you know, give me a ballpark?

Yeah, 500 to a thousand probably, 500. Okay. I'll say 500. So here's what I, here's what I want to show you. First off, if you take that money and you invest it, which you should be doing, because the truth is the time is going to come when you don't work, right? You're 50. I'm sure there's going to be a time where you don't want to have to go into work, correct? Correct. And you need to have a nest egg of money to draw off of. And there's a limited amount of time for you to build that nest egg. Fair enough. True. Therefore, we need to harness the power of compounding interest. And when it's at home, there's zero compounding interest. As a matter of fact, it's almost negative. It's depleting the value of your money because inflation, right? There's no hedge

against inflation and you understand that. So if we can, you know, next step is, yeah, you pop in in a high yield savings and maybe get 3.5% or maybe 4%. That's okay. But if you were to invest it in really just kind of your basic index fund, you know, good growth stock mutual fund, growth and income. You could really have an average annualized rate of return of around 10%. Like you could pretty much bet on that, okay? So if we did that, if we just popped that $300,000 into an index fund, I mean, you don't even have to get sophisticated here. That money, and you just said, hey, instead of putting the $500 that I sock away under the mattress,

I'm going to just add that to that pile every month. Do you know that just in 17 years, by the time you're 67, you're going to have, it would be almost $2 million. It'd be $1.89 million. I mean, it seems hard to believe, but I believe you. Yeah. And it is. And the bigger part is you need that money because you said your families continue to grow.

There will come a day, whether you want it or not, that you can't work. So if I were in your shoes, Stu, I know Ken would do the same. we would be skipping down to the bank. You know, we'd be skipping over to invest that money right away. Because you said, how much do you have in the high-yield savings? Probably 400. Oh, man, oh, man. You're a rich man, Stewie.

Hold on. I just want to make sure. 400,000? I do. Okay. So that's amazing. But listen, you've got to get with a smart investor pro. Got to.

Okay. So we're going to have Christian direct you. to the spot on our website, you need to interview a minimum of three smart investor pros. They're independent of us. They're licensed, the whole nine yards, but they'll advise you the way we've advised you. And you are sitting on $700,000 in cash. So what our advice would be is that you have three to six months of your expenses in that savings account, high yield.

Okay? So let's just say for sake of discussion, that's 50,000. I'd even let them keep 100. Clearly, Stewie is the type that likes. Okay, so let's say it keeps 100 in there. So now we've got $600,000 that you need to get invested soon in really good, the mutual funds that she's talking about, and let that money go to work for you. And no longer are we putting money in the drawer, the way you pay yourself, the smart investor pro that you select and go with, and they're going to explain everything to where you understand. it and your eyes are going to bug out of your head.

Yeah. And now you start doing what Jay told you to do. And again, you're going to be a very, very wealthy person. But you need to get on it because you've lost who knows how many millions of dollars by not having done this earlier. And at 50, it's time for you to step up and do this. There's nothing to be scared of and they'll explain it well. But that's your next step.

What's your aversion to it, Stewie? What's caused you to kind of shy away from that? I don't know if I have an answer. It started out as a game. I like saving money. So I started as a... You won the game. You know what?

I felt maybe at sometime I'm fearful of the stock. I am fearful of the stock market. Okay, that's what I was getting to. Tell us about that. Why are you fearful of the stock market? Because that originated somewhere. And if we can just put our finger on that, we can change that and shift that in your mind for you.

I'm not sure. I mean, I know that my grandpa, told me stories of hardship during the depression. I don't know if that's enough to do me. Yes. Yes. Those stories. I'm scared of the stock market.

Stewie, spend some time thinking about that tonight because those stories, all of those things, grandpa told me this. I saw an image of this. I heard this report on TV. I read this in the news. All of that stuff starts to build up and it starts to inform our view on a particular subject. And the thing is, that's okay.

That's normal. But we do have to come to a point where we challenge it. and we say, okay, this is the story I'm telling myself, is it actually true? Is it true? Or is this just what I've been around? And therefore, the people that I was around believed this and therefore it became my belief. But if I actually hold it up next to facts, I find out that that's actually not the truth. And so I love that you called in today because Ken and I are giving, we are giving you the facts. The truth is the annualized rate of return of the stock market since inception has been hovered around anywhere between 9 to 12 percent, right, depending on a given year. And so it's always

going to, it's always ended up up. And yes, there's been downturns, but usually it recovers very quickly within the next year or two after it's, it's fully recovered and then some. And so the point of the stock market is it's a long term, it's a long term ride, right? It's not something you hop in and hop out of. But in your case, Stewie, oh my goodness, you pop in 600,000 and maybe you leave the other 100,000 liquid. And I mean, you're going to be a very rich man when it comes time to retire. So, well done. And I would be very careful about how I transported the 300,000 in cash to the bank. What do you do? You put it in a duffel bag? Even that looks pretty obvious. If some dude rolls into your local bank and a duffel bag, you're like, there's cash in that bag. Yeah, be careful,

Stewie. I don't know how many trips you got in there. Maybe you're wearing some old school parachute pants. Oh, man. And it, oh, God. I'd think about some security on that. It's a lot of dough. You got... Can you just walk in with that kind of money? I don't... No, here's what I would do. I would go talk to my local bank and the branch and say, here's what I've done. Help me do this the most secure way.

They've done this before. Okay. Yeah. Otherwise, you're going to need some very, very muscle-bound people to walk with you. I was put myself in his shoes. If I tried to take that, I would break, my car would break down. Something crazy random would happen. Oh, man.

You know what I mean? And you'd be on the side of the road. just with this stack of cash. Yeah, I think I'd go hire local Brinks guy and just be like, lock me in the back of this thing with it and drop you off. Yeah, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's not what you should do. Go talk to your local branch manager.

That's right. Get a plan and go talk to a SmartVestor Pro. Love entrepreneurs. Don't forget, guys, I started my company on a card table myself. So I know what it's like to have people counting on you, your team, your family, not to mention your customers. And when you're the one signing the paycheck, you can't. afford to fly blind. But I'll be honest, early on, one thing that nearly sunk us was wasting time with spreadsheets that didn't add up because business units didn't talk to each other.

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slash Ramsey. That's net suite.com slash Ramsey. All right, we wish we could get to every call and question here on the show. There's just so many calls, so little time. So if you have a money question and want an answer for your situation, you can now head to our website and use Ask Ramsey. This is our free AI tool that's built and trained on our proven Ramsey principles. You get an answer the same way we'd answer it right here on the show. So ask your question today at Ramsey Solutions.com. and click on Ask Ramsey, or if you're watching on YouTube or listening to the podcast, you can click on the link in the show notes.

You think if you ask it a question, it'll say in your Kenvoys. No. I got to tell you. It ain't going to do that. I got to tell you. I'll tell you what it will do. It's going to give you fundamentals, but it ain't going to give you my special sauce. The sauce.

Ah, the juice. The juice, the way I would answer it. Not going to be as pragmatic as me. I'll tell you that right now. Okay. But you're going to get you your pure fundamental answer. Yeah, you will get a Ramsey plan answer. There you go.

Damien is up in Lincoln, Nebraska. Damien, how can we help today? I just got a question for you. So I got this pile of debt that I've accumulated over the past couple of years. It started with just some small consumer debt and an auto loan. Started working on that. And then this past year, I had a four-wheeled accident that put me in a pretty big bind with a bunch of medical debt. I'd unfortunately dropped my, or my parent, I dropped off my parents' insurance and I forgot to sign myself up for my own when I rolled into my new job.

So I got a pretty hefty pile there. Oh, man. So, yeah, I'm kind of leaning between, is it a, go into Chapter 7 and just wipe the whole slate clean or I've gotten met to the point where my income and expenses are all leveled out. and I'm actually able to start paying down debt. How much is the medical debt? $210,000. Oh, wow. Okay.

Do you now have insurance currently? Yeah. Okay. I've always had it. I just forgot for the one year and I thought I'd be fine. Oh, man. You got got, didn't you? The odds of that are so crazy.

Okay. So the 210, is that the only debt? No, I have $19,000 in a car. credit card debt that has went to collections, $18,000 on a auto loan that I had let go to repossession, $4,000 on student loans, and then the $210. Okay. Was the credit cards in the repo a result of this injury? Is that kind of, tell me more about that?

They would have been, yeah, they would have been prior. So years I've been following you guys for like 10 years now. I had worked my way down on credit card, and then we'd move to Lincoln, and I built it back up during that whole moving process, and just never paid more than the minimum, so that that was there. And then with all of those adding up, the auto payment was just killing me, so I should stop paying on it. Oh, boy. Okay. But you said you're steady now. Like, what's your income today?

What do you bring home every month? So before tax, I'm 82,000 a year and then plus a bonus. But my take-home monthly is about $4,700. Okay. And the bonuses, do they hit, like, at the end of the year? Yeah, in October. And this last year, we got a very minimal one. So we'll see what this year ends up being.

It was 2000. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay, so I would not do bankruptcy. I know that that probably feels tempting, but I think what's going to end up happening is you don't have a whole lot of money to give these creditors, obviously. You have a little bit, but you don't have much. And so I would start working with them on some sort of settlement pretty soon.

How long have these been due? Have any of them rolled into collections? So all of the cards are the medical. I think one of them has. it was like a $20,000 one. The rest is still with the biller. Yeah. Okay. So for the one that's rolled into collections, you're now positioned to make some sort of a deal. And I would just do them one by one and roll them off. You know, whatever the smallest credit card is, I'd go over there and say this has been in collections for X amount of years and I'd stack up a little bit of cash. So for instance,

what's the smallest credit card that you have in collections? I think there's like three of them that are about $500. Okay. Easy payoffs. Yeah, but you're not paying $500. I'd go to them and I'd say I can give you $100 and they're going to take it. And you're just going to scratch them out just like that. The thing is get it all in writing.

And I would just let them know, I'd be like, this is just the tip of the iceberg of the debt that I have. So if you think that you're getting any more money than this, you're not. And just be on them the same way they're on you. Just call them and call them and call them and say, here's my offer, here's my offer. And they might come back and say, what about $250, fine. At this point, it's low enough. Yes, go ahead and take whatever deal they offer. But for the bigger ones, when you start getting into that medical debt, yeah, you're going to really whittle it down.

And the key is try to save up, I don't know, 50% of what it is, or try to save up, I don't know, 40% of what it is cash. So you can be prepared to offer that money in cash. Okay. So with the auto one that it rolled over in the collections, they are wanting to, to do a settlement for really cheap. Like I said, 18,000 is what I owe, and they were wanting to do 900. The only thing that was concerning me is that they list on there that they will file a 1099 on that. And I was kind of confused on how that whole process works.

Well, that's the least of your worries. $900 settlement on an $18,000 debt on a card. You're taking that and you deal with it. So the 1099, Jade, that's just their way of, that's how they're writing it off. Yeah. And then they, because they're eating this big time, that's about them. That's, you have no choice in the matter on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's a small amount of money. So back to Jade's point, like, same thing on if somebody told you you were going to get some 1099 income, then you were going to go to $1,000 worth of landscaping. You would hold back, right, 30% just to be safe. So you're just thinking about that. Talk to your tax pro because you're starting to knock stuff off. So don't be concerned about that. Yeah.

So what you need to be willing. looking at is if you're trying to settle this, it's really common that you could settle a debt for anywhere between 30 to 50% of the balance if it's already in collections. So that's kind of the range that you want to aim in. And if you know it's a couple years old, yeah, push for that that 30% of the balance. Okay. That's kind of where you want to be. You want to make sure that you have that lump sum and you want to make sure that you have it all documented. I mean, this is, when you get that letter, this is the one that you laminate and you put it, you put it in an ice, you know, put it in ice and keep it forever, okay?

That's true. I love that. Yeah, so Damien, yeah, I mean, you are actually working through this the right way. You don't need to file bankruptcy. You just settle these things one at a time. Now, the big question is, are you learning your lesson? Oh, it is learned many times over. Yeah, yeah.

Well, and here's the deal. We ask that, by the way, not to put any kind of shame on you, but really so that there's some conviction that's developed out of this. You know what I mean? Because none of us are sitting here without anything dumb. You've heard Dave say it for decades. I got a Ph.D. And D-U-M-B.

But this is the key, right? Get through this, but never again. Yeah. No, this is not a journey I ever want to take again. That is for sure. And you're going to have to deal with some, I mean, the truth is you can't afford to pay all of these. So, $1,800 pay me is going to be blown up your line.

Yep. And that right there is more detrimental. Speak to that because you actually walk through that. How does not just Damien but other people that are experiencing it, give them that mindset of what their options actually are. Well, number one, it feels detrimental because they're calling you all the time and it makes you feel bad about yourself, right? And that's the trap I don't want you to fall into because you do have a plan and you're

sticking to your plan and that's really what you have to tell them. And if you even choose to pick up, you know, you pick up. you pick up and you say, hey, this is my plan. You're next or I'm getting to you next. And when I get to you, you better be ready to make a deal. Uh-huh. So that's kind of the way that goes. I'm more telling you it as a friendly warning. If you get to the point that you're able to make some minimum payments there, you could, but it's not really going to help you when it comes to settling it. Yeah. We're really good advice. So, hey, there is a way. It seems like you've got the will now. And we're cheering you on. And better days are ahead here.

You've got to finish this. You've got to clean up your mess. And then we can rebuild after that. Tax season is coming up fast, which means a lot of you are paying more attention to your money and maybe realizing the holiday damage. So if you're trying to clean up the budget and start the year strong, cutting your phone bill is an easy win. With Boost Mobile, keep the phone you love and pay just 25 bucks a month for unlimited data, talk, and text forever.

No contracts, no traps, just predictable savings that help you stay in control. Switch now at BoostMobil.com slash Ramsey. Restrictions apply. See website for details. All right, let's go to Tyler, who joins us now on Wilmington, Delaware. Tyler, how can we help today? So I'm in this relationship where I feel like I get leaned on financially pretty well, and I'm very young and I do pretty well. As of right now, I have a lot of money saved up, and I just am wondering the, you know,

perspective that you guys may have on, is that like a healthy relationship, or should I be using this time at my age to generate more wealth than what I'm doing? What is the relationship? Is this a marriage? Is this dating? What are we talking about? Dating. Okay.

How long you've been dating? Oma, a year and a half. Year and a half. How much money do you make? 135. And you said you've been putting stuff away. Do you have any debt? No debt.

And what kind of retirement situation do you start? starting to build? I max out my 401k and then I have about in my private savings account just around $100,000 making me about 18% a year. Okay, so tell me about the other person in this relationship. What do they do and how much do they make? They are in mental health and they make around $50,000 a year with somewhere near 70,000, 80,000. in debt currently. Okay. Now let's get to the crux of the call.

Yes. What do you mean by leaned on? Like, let's get real here. Like, we need an example that really bothers you, either hurt you or angered you or maybe one of each. I'm gathering all this for Jade and I to be able to weigh in here. So give us some examples or one good example. I would say, like, vacations and then, like, we,

weekend funds, dates, everything along those lines. So you pay for the vacation? Yes. The whole thing. Yep. And is it manipulative in how she puts that out there? Like how is that decided? No, it's more of just like she knows that I know and that it's like really not even up for discussion.

So who, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How does she know that? Yeah. Well, just that like she knows that I know she's not a, a great financial situation. All right. And like, you know, in this young, at day and age, I feel like, you know, females want to do all the fun stuff.

And just because of the situation, they may not be able to. He just went, he just went females. Listen, when you say females, that already lets me know something has gone down. I agree. That's caused you to be, you're feeling some type of way. I haven't heard yet, Jade, anything where she's leaning on you. Well, that's what I'm going to get to. Tell me how the conversation goes down.

Is it you saying, oh, it's, you know, it's July. We should probably go on vacation. What do you have in mind? Or is it her bringing up, hey, it's July. We should probably go on vacation. What do you have in mind? Like, tell me how the conversations go. And I need that because it's very different if you saying, hey, you know, let's go down to Fort Lauderdale.

And she's like, okay. And you're like, hey, I made the reservation for the Hilton. And she's like, okay. And then you just go versus her saying, where do you want to go? honey and you're like well I don't know and she says well I found this really cute place I think we should go here and then you're like well okay right all of that matters so I want to know how it goes I would say it's more of like oh we should do something and then like I'm a very minimalist person and then perspective on there and gets a little starts that you know the standard starts

to increase and then it just kind of goes in there okay listen I ain't saying she's a gold digger But she, I get the lean now. I get it. Do you feel that? I want to make sure I get the female perspective. I get the lean. Okay, I get the lean. So where are you relationally with this gal?

Like, is this? I don't live with them. No. Oh, no, no. I'm not even, I wasn't even getting to that. I'm saying. But that is good. What's your, on a scale of one to 10, 10 being she's absolutely one.

I'm going to marry her no matter what. Or one being could care less if I've. in this relationship one more day. There's your extremes. Where are you at with her? Yeah, I feel like I'm right in the middle. It's just like a little stuck situation. Okay.

I do care about them. You know what I mean? You care about her, but this is troubling you. Yes. So what we need to decipher here is the line. And Ken, you're just the man to do this. We need to decipher the line between the classic chivalrous male behavior. And I know I'm choosing.

I would agree. I would agree. And then what is too much and kind of like the lean as what we called it. So I'm going to start by saying yes. If you take me on a date especially like you're not living together. Like there's no like intent that we are in any way beyond dating. I'm expecting the male to pay every single time. Totally agree.

And I would say yes, you should be paying for dates. You guys have been dating how many years? Yeah, one and a half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're paying for dates. However, when she comes up with an idea that is an expensive idea, and by the way, you get to determine what you feel is expensive. This is a two-way street. That's right.

And you're the money. So when she brings that up, you should feel free to say that feels like it's too much. And you can explain why. I agree. And I think it's incumbent on you to explain why. Then if she follows up and goes, well, why, why, why? then you start to go, you know what, some of this is on me because in the past you've suggested stuff that I would not normally pay for given my views on money. And I've got a formula in place.

I don't want to spend this one. You lay it all out so she knows where you're coming from. She shouldn't be guessing. On a vacation. Yes, on a vacation. What's the chivalrous behavior? I'm thinking half and half. It's half and half.

But I'm saying he has to take that stand and think about it ahead of time and then say no. He has to feel comfortable going, I'm not comfortable going on a $6,000 vacation. I agree with that. And she goes, why you explain it. And let's say you go, and I'm making this up, you go, I'm comfortable with a $2,000. Okay, great. So then you explain to her, but I think you should be paying for half of it.

Well, I can't right now. So then we can't go. We aren't going. Or we pick something more in your budget. Yeah. And then go and let this bleed into, and probably the wrong word, let this lead into a bigger conversation about money so that you, my friend, can go from being a five to a eight, nine, or a ten on whether or not we stay in this relationship.

You're looking for certainty right now because, Jade, I'm going to bring it back to you. You're in the weeds on this and the data and you coach people. Because he's dating right now and he's on a five. Yes. If this doesn't go to some certainty on whether or not they're a good fit from a value standpoint on money, this causes how many issues down the line? It's going to cost so many. I mean, it's the number one, number two, depending on what piece of research you're looking

at, cause of divorce, money fights and money problems. So if this is somebody that you're starting to go down that path of she might be the one, this is, to Ken's point, this is just the type of scenario where you can start these conversations to really see what are each of your philosophies on money. And now is not the time to try to change somebody. now is the time to try to go, who are you for real? Great point. You know, I want to see who you are for real.

And vice versa. Yeah. Now, if she says, okay, she needs to feel the weight of this. And we hope, Tyler, that this goes one of two ways. My hope is that she reveals herself. Jade's absolutely right. And so once she reveals herself, and what we mean by that is how she views money, at which point we now get to have a very serious conversation about how you view money.

And is there a bridge to where we meet in the middle and middle being, I'll help you and guide you and teach the principles that I've been living by if you're willing to do it. That's meet in the middle here. And then you're going to find out really quick whether or not she values you enough to change her values about money. Yes, but the key strategy to what Kenneth is saying, and this is key, and this is for anybody listening, when you bring up the money conversation, the first question, you don't say your philosophy first. Good. You let them say first because if they really like you and you say, oh, debt, yeah, I don't do debt.

They're going to go, oh, yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah, me too. If they really like you and they think that, right, people tend to kind of shape shift, especially in those early stages. So you first say, what's your philosophy on debt? And just shut up. Let them talk. Don't influence anything they're saying. You need to see this.

You need to hear it. Then you go, okay, well, would you like to know mine? That's a great point. So Tyler, this feels like this is a massive, massive moment in this relatively young relationship. So step into it and let's see how this plays out. But you've got a great head on your shoulders. Most people just drift through life with their money. No plan, no budget.

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I'm just Ken. Coleman is the last name. I'm excited that you're with us. Triple-8-8-25-5-2-25-2-25-2-5-2-25 is the number to jump in. All right, let's go to Jeff in Salt Lake City. Jeff, how can we help today? Thanks for having me. So I lost my job.

I was a financial advisor. I lost my job back in June of 2025. I was without gainful employment for, gosh, almost five months. It took me five months to get hired on with another firm. And so now I am going, I mean, I still have not received a paycheck from my new job and the whole situation has just been really a disaster for my family, for my home life, from my finances. Okay.

How long have you been at the new job? I hired on in November. What is the reason? Okay. What is the reason for you starting last November and you still haven't received a paycheck? I'm trying to transition my old business over. When I was let go from my previous firm, probably half of my existing book of business was ready to move with me.

And with everything taking so long, most of those clients have unfortunately moved on. What kind of business are you in? I'm a financial advisor. So you left one firm and you've signed all with another firm, but it's basically straight commission. You're just, they're a place for you to hang your hat, essentially. You couldn't continue to serve those others independently until you landed at another umbrella business? I could not.

So I was terminated from that, from my original job. I had been with the firm for probably eight years. and when I was terminated, I mean, I had no, I mean, I could sit there and I could continue to contact them and talk with them. But ultimately, they wanted somebody who could, you know, like do the work. Okay. Yeah. All right. So let's.

And I couldn't do that. All right. So for sake of time, let's get into what kind of disaster has happened so that we know what we're, and frame the question for us. So we need to know where you're at financially. But what can we help with specifically as you lay this out for us? Yeah. So we have blown through just about all of our savings. How much is left in savings?

Maybe $10,000. $10,000. Okay. So how much debt do you have? I think we'll have about $15,000 in debt. Okay. And when do you expect to make it? Yeah.

What's going on there? Are you finding new folks? Are you able to get the others fired back up again? What's the reality here? It's been very slow. Right now, I'm pulling in about two continents a month. What were you doing before? What was your normal month for you before?

I mean, before, I managed to book a business of about $100 million. I mean, I was... Yeah, but she's asking, how much did you make? I was, for 2025, I would have, had I been, had I remained employed, I would have made, I would have made probably 300,000 that year. Okay. Oh, gosh. So you didn't really answer her question.

When do you expect to actually get paid? I should get paid this month. How much? The thing is that it could be $5,000. Oh, boy. I'm way off of where I was. But we only have $15,000 in debt, correct? Yeah.

Okay, then what is your monthly budget that you just bare minimum to take care of all the important things. How much do you have to be bringing in? What is that number? I mean, take care of everything. I mean, we've got three kids. We've got school tuition and all that stuff. We're probably at 10,000 a month. Okay. Is where I need to be done. Okay. You need 10,000 a month. Can I ask a question? What precludes you from being on your own as a financial advisor? What's the thing that stops you from just saying, hey, I, Jeff, I'm my own man, and I'm my own business and I can just run my business versus being under an umbrella because you don't really, with two clients, you don't really have the luxury of somebody taking a major piece of every chunk of money that you get. You see what I'm saying? So I am considered independent. At this point, I'm a 1099 advisor, whereas at my previous firm, I was W2. And that firm was taken roughly 60% of the cut.

And what's this firm taking? They only take about 15%. Right. And my question remains, what's the benefit there for you? Because they're clearly not giving you leads. Correct. There's no leads. There's really no support.

No, it's on you. I've got a good friend who just got into this business two years ago. A couple things here to fast forward this. You're not in a massive debt situation. That's the good news. Your problem is your income. And you presented at the start of this call, like there's some family stuff going on. This is a point where you've got to make some money, like right now.

And you know how to build a book of business, yes or no? Yeah. All right. Then, like, bro, we're in desperate. I don't have some magic pill of advice here. Three tips on how to win as a financial planner. You actually know how to do it. You've got to do it.

Now, in the meantime, I don't know what's going on and we don't have time. And quite frankly, I don't think it matters as to why you got fired, what it's done to your home life because you mentioned it. But if your wife can work and is not working, we're in a season where she needs to because we have a $5,000 deficit that is hitting us really quickly and we only have $10,000 of savings left.

So we're in go get it mode. Am I right, Jade? What am I missing? Well, I just want to remind you that you're the same guy who did $300,000 of income last year. You're that same guy. I don't think you remember that. Like talking to you, it feels like you've forgotten that you're that guy. And that's why I'm encouraging you.

I don't think you need, you know, whatever this umbrella company is. I think you can just go out there. I think you can, in the words of Dave Ramsey, kill something, drag it home, and eat it. And I think that you're getting too hung up on these other details. To Ken's point, you know how to build a book of business. And you've done it before. Nothing is stopping you from doing it again.

I think the last five months really dinged your self-esteem. But, I mean, Ken, he's the same guy. Yeah. Jeff, I'll just ask a point-blank question. This is yes or no answer. Are you dealing with a lot of shame? Yeah. Yeah.

Are you seeing a therapist? On and off. Okay. There's a book that I'm going to recommend to you, and it's a heavy, heavy read, but it's worth reading. I've read it. I'm reading it. It's called Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw.

considered the foremost book written on shame. I think it's really important that you grasp the concepts in that book as well as therapy. But you got to throw your shoulders back right now. We don't have time to be ashamed. But it's a real feeling it's underneath there. But I really recommend that you read that book, that you lean in. But this is Circle the Wagon's Time with your wife. Let's go. We can figure this out. We absolutely can. And now we must. And what I'm hearing as a guy who rightfully so is ashamed of himself. We've all been there, but man, you have so much more to give. You're going to learn a lot through this season. So let's go, man. If you're looking for a more budget-friendly way to save on medical costs and stay true to your

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towards their first month of membership. Get started at CHMinistries.org slash budgets and use promo code Ramsey. That's CHministries.org slash budget and promo code Ramsey. All right. Next, we go to Cordelaine, Idaho. Alexandra is there. Alexandra, how can we help today? Hi, my husband and I love you guys. You guys help us so much. Get out. of student debt when we were first married. I'm calling because I have a question with my husband and I. We're not in total agreement on how to spend money now that we're out of debt. Okay.

We are on baby step four. Okay. And we're in the process of buying a home and we're trying to do it the Ramsey way. But now that we're in a better spot, just learning how to spend money now of what it looks like, specifically my step-sister and my best friend are both getting married out of the country this year. And I was hoping to attend their wedding. and though doing so will be expensive.

And my husband feels like traveling like this is really like financially irresponsible. Oh. But he said if I called you guys and got your permission that we could go. So I just my specific question. This is our favorite. You couldn't have, in my opinion, couldn't have got two better co-hosts today because we have disagreed on these things from time to time. And I'll just tell you, I'm usually more lenient. I don't know if we'll disagree this time.

Jade, we don't know. It's starting off pretty good. Yeah, I heard Baby Step 4. So it's already looking good for you. A couple quick clarifying questions. You said two weddings. Yes? Yeah.

Step sister and best friend? Yes. Okay. And where are both weddings? One is in Italy and one is in Sri Lanka. Oh, shoot. Neither one of those are discount airlines. So that's going to make sense of.

Have you run the numbers on what these trips are going to cost, both together? I think together would be about $10,000. What's the time frame? Are they both over the summer or are they spread out at all? One is in May and one is in August. Oh, Lordy. Which one's in May? The Italy one.

Is that the best friend? No, that's the step sister? Yes. Okay. Is Hubbs included in this number? Is he going with you on both? He's going with me to one, not for the other, though, because we have a toddler and we think it'd be too much for the toddler. Yeah.

100%. So, by the way, just clarifying, it's 10,000 for you to go to both and him to go to one. Right. Which one is he going to? The one with my step-sister in Italy. Okay. Good choice, by the way. Good choice.

I like his choice. So do you have the money set aside? Not yet, but right now, we do every dollar and we have about like 2000 after like retirement and all of our necessary expenses. So I think if we save for the next couple of months, we could easily save up for it, but we haven't done so yet. Okay. So I love solving these with what I'm going to call the financially responsible adult checklist, which is going to give you some freedom here. I'm glad you're doing this. I've already.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm already ready to decide. I'm already ready. I've already decided. I mean, I think I have two, but I'm giving her the framework on how we arrived. This is good. This is good. So there's five things in the financially responsible adult checklist. Number one, are you a person who's on a budget? Yes, you mentioned every dollar beautifully several times. Check. Check. Number two, are you a person who is out of debt and plans to stay out of debt? Check. Check. Number three, are you a person who carries the proper insurances? Now, this means have you started your term life insurance? You've got a little one there. One of you depends. on each other's income. If you haven't done that, you need to do that before you make this decision. Okay, let's get an answer. Where are we out on that one?

We both have license insurance. Check. I had to lasso. Okay. That's number three. Next one is, are you a person who is saving for the future? Now this means three things. You've got your baby step one. You already did that. You've got Baby Step 3 in place, yes? Yes. Yes, that's retirement, right?

No, no. No, Baby Step 3 is three to six months of expense. Oh, yes. Okay. She said they were on Baby Step 4. Is that right? Okay. And you're actively doing the 15% to retirement. Right.

And are you actively putting something towards a down payment on a house? You mentioned that. Yes. We're an escrow right now, actually. Hey, yes. Okay. That's four out of four. That's four.

And then there's a fifth one. The fifth one on the financially responsible list is, are you prioritizing generosity? Yeah, we're tied. Listen, that's all you need. That's all you need. Everything else is you just got paying cash. The tough one to get through is going to always be Jade. She's just tougher than me.

She just is, no surprise there. I lift with weights, Kim. Yes, you do. And showing off the guns again. So the fact that you guys can actually cash flow this, this is a no-brainer. Tell Hubs that you have two yeses. And this is an American Idol, so you only need two.

In the words of Clubber, in the words of Clubber Lang. Ding, ding. Ding, ding. I love the Rocky reference. Fantastic. Alexander, it sounds like it's going to be a blast. Have fun. Oh, thank you.

Yeah. And good for you, by the way. I love that you guys. And by the way, let's just be very clear to our greater audience here. She doesn't need our permission. We'll have a little bit of fun with this. But I love that you listen to Jade walk through those five boxes. That's fantastic.

And in this case, I love too that they were like, I'll go to the one in Sri Lanka and I'll stay back. That's great. You don't always have to both. be there. Yeah, you don't have to do that. It's the thought that counts. Plus, let's be honest, does any man ever want to go to a wedding, Ken? No, I've been very clear on this. No dude ever wants to go. Even a destination wedding. The destination doesn't zing it up for you. No, in fact, if Stacey said to me tonight, hey, we've been invited to a wedding in Barbados.

You love Barbados. I love and been to Barbados. But I would be in, but slightly irritated. and if she said to me, well, you don't have to go to the ceremony, then I would be like, oh, I'm totally in. Right. Now you're just her sidekick. Yeah, I'm just travel buddy. Yeah, travel buddy. We're there in Barbados. I don't have to go to the ceremony.

But if you say, you got to go to the ceremony, I'm telling you, I have a bad attitude about going to Barbados. And this is my point example, which I shouldn't have, ever. Now, what if it was all you have to do is go to the, the reception. Does that change it? No, no ceremony, only reception. No one's ever asked me this before. Yeah. That does change it. Yeah, because I think I don't have to sit through the ceremony and all the formalities. Straight to the drink. Straight to the wedding cake. Yeah. Well, my follow question is, is there rum at the reception? There better be. It's in Barbados. Then I'm in.

There you go. Columbia, South Carolina is where we go next. Kevin is waiting. Kevin, how can we help? Yes, I've got a scenario here and we're trying to figure out. We bought a home one year ago. We put 10% down at 7%. We then sold our other home and we have now, we have one year they said you can recast. We have 200,000 cash right now in the bank that we're looking at putting at recasting or refine the current to bring down the mortgage, get rid of PMI and all that good stuff. But in our new home, we're also looking at holding maybe 50,000 cash aside because there's certain things we'd like to do home improvements, like a retaining wall, a fence, additional

parking spots, things like that. And we want to make a good, wise financial decision on return on investments and putting our money in the best place possible. We want to know what your advice would be and what we should consider. Okay. Let me just make sure I understood it back. You talked really fast. I think I got all of it. There were two houses. One sold. Now there's only one. The most expensive one, you want to put $200,000 possibly to recast it so the payment's lower. Did I catch it? We have, there was two. Yes, there was two. We sold one. And now, exactly. Now we want to recast as much as possible out of that $200K. But you're thinking maybe hold back $50 for the, for the improvements. We're kind of thinking hold back $50 because we have some home improvement ideas,

but we want to make sure we don't overbuild the neighborhood. I want to know. Oh, yeah. Do I get this money back or is it better to put it into recasting, the current house? So tell me, well, really, most of this rides greatly on the recast. When you, if you put the whole $200,000 on the recast, is it going to get your monthly payment where it needs to be? 25% of your take home? It currently is already. Our mortgage is currently within 25% of our take-home pay currently. Already. So then what's the purpose of recasting? Why wouldn't you just apply it towards the principal and just pay down the house?

Well, they said if you recast, this is what we were told. If you recast within a year, you can put that money and it'll lower the month, the mortgage payment as well. It will, but less money will go to the principal. So by you doing that, you're kind of shifting everything towards if you just had a smaller payment. The smaller payment means, less goes to the principal and the less goes to interest or the same amount goes to interest. So you're robbing your principal payment at that point. So that's why I wouldn't do that. I would just apply it to the principal if you want to pay the mortgage down. If you're waking up tired every morning, you don't need more caffeine, you need better rest. And that's why Casper mattresses are engineered to help you sleep deeper and wake up refreshed.

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Exclusions apply. All right. I want to do a quick follow up, Jade. I know you wanted to say a little bit more about our last call. to do some clarification. Yeah, I want to talk about the recasting because we don't get that call a lot, and it's actually an interesting thing that you could put a lump sum. Let's pretend you have a mortgage that's, you know, the payments, it's eating your lunch, it's a little too high. Maybe you come into a lump sum of money. Maybe you've just been able to save up somehow, some way, whatever. You come across

20, 30, 40, and in his case, it was $200,000 that he wanted to, instead of do what we teach, which is apply a principal payment, extra payment, and just lower the principal, the entire balance completely, he wanted to recast it, which basically what it does, let's pretend he bought the house for $400,000. I think he told us it was at 7%. When you recast it, the lump sum would go directly to there. And so they're now, they're recasting the balance at the new amount. So it'd be at $200,000, but the terms are still the same. So it'd still be at $7,000. it still be on a 30-year mortgage. So I suggested what I suggested, which is only put it towards the principle. Don't recast because the point here is to pay the thing off fast. Like, we want you to

pay the mortgage off. If he recasts it, since the terms are the same, it's still on a 30-year or a 15-year or whatever he had, and it's not going directly in that way. So if he wanted to, and I'm not saying that this is the best thing. If he did recast it, and then he still paid the mortgage, as though it was the old mortgage, that could kind of be a move. But really the only benefit there I could see is like,

I don't know, it's almost like a contingency. Like if I fell on hard times, my payment would be lower. But that's not really the Ramsey way. The better way here is to go for the principal, go for paying off the mortgage, saving time. Time is of the essence. So you can take that money and later on use it to build other types of wealth. Love it. All right. Great clarification there. The number to jump in, AAA 8255-225.

Kate is up next in Newark, New Jersey. Kate, how can we help? Yes, hi. Ken and Jade, first of all, I want to say thank you so much for taking my call. I'm nervous. Oh, don't worry. We are on your team. We're going to take good care of you. Thank you so much. You're my favorite duo, by the way. I listen to you guys every day. Well, now we're going to be extra nice now. Look what you've done. What's going on? How can we help? My question is, so real quick, I'll give me my question and then whatever details you need,

just ask. The question I have is, I don't know if we'll be able to continue making house payments because my husband is a spendthrift and we can't keep up with our monthly minimums due to how much debt he's wrecked up in the year that we've had, This is that we bought our house. And now we are paycheck to paycheck for house. What has you racked up? $12,000 in credit card debt in a year.

Okay. What is the minimum payment on that $12,000? So it's all different. It's six different, actually seven different credit cards. Oh, okay. The monthly minimums are about $715 a month for all of them. What's your mortgage payment? Yeah.

3,138. What's your combined incomes? So I'm not currently working, well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. He makes net 140,000 a year. Okay. And is he feeling this weight? We know you are. Is he feeling this?

I don't think he's feeling it as much as, he's definitely not feeling it as much as I am, but I laid it all in front of him, basically to show him like how like everything on paper and um he kind of got it I think but this was back in November and at the time he had agreed he loves squarna and Suzzle and um I don't I hate them but uh he thinks that it's fine to pay the dude the pain for things um because no interest right or whatever so um he agreed in November not to spend on those for Christmas gifts.

And I thought that we were on the same page. He had agreed and come to find out he actually did use Clarnet and Suzzle. And he actually just finished paying off the last payment this past week. But we almost weren't able to make our car payment. We had to try to get scrounge around for cash to pay for our car payment. So this was very recent. And I want to get Jade involved here, but I'm just kind of gathering some more information here. What was his, what were the comments? What has the conversation been? We know what happened November. Now here we are just the other day scrambling around for quarters, if you will, to make a car payment. What was the conversation then?

It's almost like he doesn't really want to have the conversation. Like it's almost like he's digging his head in the sand. He doesn't want to face the consequences. Okay. And a little backstory, he is a recovering alcoholic. And I really truly believe that the spending, it's because it's what's rip-based alcohol. That changes the equation. Jade, I know you've got thoughts. I want you to weigh in here for her. Well, I mean, definitely the reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this. I wonder would he be open?

Have you said that to him that this is your fear and this is how you're perceiving this? I have said it to him. We actually are in. in marriage counseling. We're in individual counseling. Great. Okay, good. Which, thankfully, it's covered by our insurance. He has very good insurance with his job. And we are in marriage counseling, but so far, we're working on addressing it, but it's like, slow going. It's not getting anywhere. It's getting, yeah, it's very slow going. Okay. Yeah, I mean, we can talk about numbers, but this really is just beyond a numbers equation. I mean, just really quickly, I can tell you,

Your mortgage is 35% of your take-home pay, it seems like, which is already a little high. I mean, it's nothing to freak out over. But when you add $715 bucks a month of credit card debt, yeah, you're going to feel it. So that's the mechanics, you know, numbers-wise of why you're feeling this a little bit more. But the truth is until he gets a handle on why he's spending and what the issue is, it's going to be a problem. Now, I don't know if you've suggested this in counseling. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. If I were in your shoes, what I would bring to my counselor is this.

I would say, I believe clearly my husband has struggled with addiction. I think that he has found a way to not use alcohol anymore, but I feel like it's shifted to spending. And because of that, I'm starting to think that maybe for a season I should be the one to handle the finances since his addiction seems to be functioning in our money. Do you handle it? I had a question about that anyway. It's a very good point.

Do you handle the finances or is he? So, interesting to say that, I have been asking to do the budgeting and everything as a partnership together. So far, he has not really wanted to do it. He just wants me to do it. But at the same time, he just recently, he just recently put his direct deposit into the joint account up to now, literally last week. Good. It hasn't been. So he finally put in a joint account.

and he's kind of like washed his hands of it. He's like, doesn't want to be able to get anymore. He left it all to me. That is great news. Now, I want to jump in really quick because our time is limited. Practically speaking, do you both have car payments? Or is it just one? I thought I heard a car payment.

It's just his. Yeah, mine is paid off. Okay. Because I'm wondering what you can start to do since he's taking the hands off. So we need to look at selling that car. That's going to be a tough conversation. But I'm looking at what are some quick things. I get it.

I get it. It's why I acknowledge. May not be the right one to go after right now. But with you now taking over the finances, what can you do? Can you cancel the credit cards? If your name's on them, you cancel the credit cards today. Let's make this a real pain for him. Jade, I want to bring you back into that. You got about a minute. What would you practically do if you were her? I would make it more formal. I love that he shifted it that way, but I would almost, like I said, with your counselor, decide the best way to do this. He doesn't need access to the money on his own.

He just doesn't because he's proven that he can't control spending. And that is an addiction. Spending is an addiction, especially it looks like it in his case. And so I would take a little tougher stance on that and say, okay, when you say I'm in charge of the money, that means I'm going to distribute in the way that I'm going to distribute it, which this is only for a season until you can get well again. And then we'll be really 50-50 on this again. And I would take a pretty strong stance on that because your family, their safety is at stake and so is yours. All right, tax season is here. I know, gave you all collective indigestion, but you got to do it.

You got to get a free checklist, by the way, and guides from us, and this is at ramsysolutions.com slash taxes. So again, the checklist and the guides that help you file, make the right decisions, get the right people on your team, depending on your unique situation. Ramsey Solutions.com slash taxes. Edwin is up next in Minneapolis. Edwin, how can we help? Hey, guys. Hey, thanks for taking my call. I am in the middle of maybe deciding to make a huge career change.

As in, I currently am self-employed on my family dairy farm. I own all the cows and rent the land. but I'm not sure if that's where I'm supposed to be, and I am looking to maybe go do a change of career to firefighting out west or something along that line. Okay. I'm going to step in here, Edwin, and I'm going to take a guess. Tell me if I'm wrong that you absolutely know deep down

that you're not supposed to be running the dairy farm. True or false? Yeah, I don't, I can't answer that specifically. Why? I do, I do, I do love the animals and it is maybe something to do with the fact that I'm the youngest and I sort of felt that I was supposed to take it. Okay. Okay, let me reword it a different way. Okay, let's say that, let's say that right now in my ear, Kelly, who's producing our,

our show today. She says, hey, Ken, we just got a call from this fire department out west, and they need someone like Edwin. They got a great job for him right now. Edwin, how do you react to that emotionally? Well, I couldn't take it right now. I didn't ask you that. Edwin, you got it. Hold on a second. Hold on, hold on. I would want to take it. Okay. What would your heart do? I'm pretty excited. Okay. It's a simple question. I understand we have realities. but this is why you called the show today. And so, okay, so let's keep playing this out. Your heart would be going crazy, but you'd have to unwind some things on the dairy farm, true or false.

Right. I would have to figure out a way to keep it going or make sure that it's not just going to fall apart. How would you do that? Keep it high level. Don't get in the weeds. What would you have to accomplish for that to be the fact? Find somebody to run it or create a partnership with my brothers that are still in the area, but they would have to sacrifice to do that as well.

Then all of a sudden it becomes about Edwin, and I'm not sure that I like doing that to my family. Okay. Is this entire business on your shoulders? Did somebody tell you that? Dad owns the land. I am in charge of everything running it. I own the cows. like I am charged incomes, expenses.

Everything is on my shoulders. Okay, but that's not your dad's business. Your dad owns the land. The land is valuable whether there's milk cows on there or not, true or false. Yep. Okay. So if you shut the thing down, this is horrible, but it's going to make my point. If you get hit by a bus today, dad's land, dad doesn't lose a nickel on the land, true or false?

That would be true. So whose business is the dairy business? The dairy business is mine, 100%. And Edwin doesn't want to be in the dairy business, but you've calculated this thing and you've tied your responses to the fact that if you go chase your dream and do what you really want to do and fight fires out west, that you're somehow letting the family down. But best I can tell, by your words, Jade, if I miss something? I don't think so.

That this is actually your business to decide what you want to do with. True or false? True. So it feels like Edwin's... However, it would definitely cut my, cut me off probably from my family as far as. Why? Why would they be so effective? My dad would not be happy. Why? My dad would not be happy. He spent his whole life building this thing up. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You just told us that the dairy business is yours. He just has the land. He's just been offering the land. Yeah, I mean, like he literally sold me the cows and like nobody else on the family is technically at home. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Edwin, stop. You paid your dad a fair price for the cows. I did, yeah.

He didn't give them to you. No, he didn't. I got to tell you, I'm not sure that you're correct. I think you're scared to death to leave your family and you've concocted some drugs. drama that may not be true. Is that possible? That is possible. Well, I'm going to tell you it's... I'm working with my brothers on this, but... Well, what do they say about all this? Well, they're both on the fence of you should go, and then there's some that say you should stay

home and... All right, I think the time has come on this call. All right, Edwin, I think the time has come on this call to where you need to hear a different voice. And my kids, I could tell them everything, the gospel truth, great wisdom, and... and they'd not listen to me. And a coach or a teacher tells them, and they listen. So I'm checking out because I've already walked you through. I didn't even tell you anything.

I walked you into a corner. You're terrified. You're terrified and you're letting your fear all of a sudden become a ration. The rationale for you to not leave. I'm going to bring Jade in, who's been listening the entire time. She's the voice you need to hear. Jade, I give you the balance of my time. I really think that you are well.

Thank you, Ken. Yeah, Ken has nailed it. I'm only going to reiterate what he said. I think you're well within the bounds to pursue firefighting. I think it is your business. Therefore, you get to decide what happens with it. It sounds like you know what that would look like or what that could look like. And it's okay.

I also, if you are correct in what you think might happen as far as the reactions of your family, they get to react and you can't control what their reaction is. and it's not your job to control what their reaction may or may not be. You can speculate about it, but you can't control it. And you certainly can't let someone else's reaction of what they think you should be doing with your life stop you. You can't cry over spilled milk. Yeah, that's right. You can't do that.

I mean, I've been sitting there. I mean, what are we doing here? I think mom and dad will be proud. I think the fact that your brothers told you to do it. And here's the other side of this, Edwin, and we've said this a million times on this show. If you don't do this. Yeah, I know. I've heard it. Okay. Well, then you know what I'm about to say. If you don't do this for the reasons that you've given us, you're going to end up resenting people that you care so deeply about. That you, by the way, just made an assumption about.

Or what? I will regret myself for not taking a leap and do that. I went ahead of that. The resentment becomes of the regret. So regret. hits us first. And then we start looking for places to put the blame on. And we put the blame on the family members who actually never had the power, as Jade so beautifully said. So my point is, I jumped ahead. Resentment comes after regret. Yeah, that's very true. Listen, man, eat more chicken. Sell them dairy cows. Let's go. I got no puns left. That's all I got. I only had two. But I think you got to do it. Edwin, and I'm as serious as I can be for a moment. You're a

a young man who has a feeling in your heart. The reason I started off this call, and Jade's heard me do this 100,000 times, and I do it privately too. The test is always the heart test. You cannot put enough value on how your heart and your body feel. And if anybody's ever felt it, the call to something or a draw to something, it is undeniable. Is it not Jade? It's you can't, you can't stop it. You cannot stop it. So what's saying, Jay? What say you is, who cares if your dad has a cow over you selling this business? That's it. You got to move on.

Look what you did. See, I had nothing left and you came in over the top. The puns are flying. The puns are flying. Because the truth is so clear. It's time to move forward. And by the way, this is your life. It's your life.

It's your life. You've got to make the calls for your life, man. And boy, you're going to go out there and you're going to do some great workout west. I hear the excitement already. You too. I feel like you feel a little lighter. Right? Yeah. No, it's definitely... And listen, if you want to keep one of the cows, keep one of the cows. I think it would be so cool to have a pet dairy cow.

Oh, yeah. They're great looking animals. Keep the ones with the bangs. The bangs in their face. They were always my favorite cows at the fair. Oh, yeah, they're sweet. The dairy cows. And here you are making a sandwich out of it, Ken. I'd move if I could. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show and the Fair Wends Credit Union Studio. I'm Ken Coleman, Jade, Shaw is alongside. The phone number is AAA 825-5-2-2-25. AAA 825-5-2-2-25.

Toby's up next in Phoenix, Arizona. Toby, how can we help? Well, I have I've built up some debt. I'm 62 years old and about ready to claim Social Security. But I have about $79,000 in debt. And I got a letter from to consolidating it by stopping your credit cards.

And so that was the first question. I've kind of listened over and looked at the show. It doesn't, you know, that's a bad idea from what I hear you got saying. Or is it a bad idea or I own three houses? Okay. Tell us about those. I saw one of those houses. I'm going to go short answer, likely yes.

Short answer, yes. Debt consolidation, it is not the answer to this situation. it rarely, I would never suggest it as the answer. The reason is what it's doing is something you could do, which is not pay your debts, pull the money, and then when they're ready to settle, now you can make a settlement. That's all they're doing,

and they're just doing with fees attached. So you don't need help doing that. Tell us about the three houses, because your solution is likely there. Well, the thing is, I have renters, and I rented forever. And to sell one of the houses, I'd have to be putting a family out.

That's true. And they really aren't in that position. And so far I haven't been able to do it. And I have problems there just because they have five kids. Are your prices competitive? Or are you giving them some sort of a deal that they wouldn't be able to get elsewhere? I'm probably very low on that house that I would sell. Okay.

Let's go to the other two. Let's set that one aside. We appreciate your heart. What about the other two houses? Give us the numbers. One house spends for $1350,000. It would sell for $170,000. How much would you make on that? Oh, I don't know anything on the houses. Okay, so it's all profit.

That's house number two. Let's go to house number three. House number three is basically a rental apartment, but it's a home. but it's not very big. How much is it worth? If you sold it today, how much would you pocket? It's on my property, on my house, well, I own house. Okay. So I couldn't sell that part of it.

You know what I'm saying? It's just a spare house. Oh, okay. So you just happen to figure out a way. And just for the heck of it, what is the house that the family of five or the family of seven with five kids? How much is that house worth? down the street it went

one other house went for one seven okay this is a no brainer to me can I can I ask a question

before you because I know what you're going to do I just am curious for a guy who's got two cash houses why do you have $79,000 in debt

I spend too much but you paid off these other houses right well I paid off the other houses a while ago. Basically, I paid cash. I turned in my 401,

or my retirement, when it dropped so much in 2008, I got upset that they took all that money. I lost a lot. And so I took the rest of it, paid the fees, and bought these houses. Oh, gosh. So you have nothing in a 401K? Oh, I have nothing, no.

Understood. So your income... Your income will be... Then go back and tell me again, what's the rent from house number one with the family of five? What's your rent on that? What do you take? 1100. And what goes away in fees and upkeep?

What do you actually pocket as profit from that house? There's not much fees. I haven't been much fees in update over the last couple of years. Well, I mean, certainly you take money out in case the AC goes out or in case it needs a repair. I'm a plumber. Okay. So I kind of fix things. All right.

So for round numbers, for round numbers, I'll use the 1100, but I want to encourage you to know what the numbers are less upkeep because that's going to give you a clearer picture of how well this is doing. Tell me the rent on number three, the one that's on your property. A thousand. A thousand. So so far, we've. got 2100 and what's it take are you going to be drawing you said you're going to draw social security here soon what will that be yes um 2000 2000 do you think you can hold on until later so you can get a higher amount um no i i've already signed up for it and i don't know

some health problems i'm not sure i want to wait are you currently employed okay I work for myself. I own a plumbing business. Okay, great. What do you pay yourself out of the plumbing business? I basically don't know. I pay for the plumbing parts and the plumbing bills, and then I pay my taxes. Are you busy? Are you busy? I work as much as I want every day. I don't push it as hard as I used to. Because you're healthy. Eight to ten hours a day. Well, you got no retirement. You got no retirement.

So you need to sell at least one of these houses and clear off the debt. And then Jade, walk you through. You've got to start reinvesting in now. Yeah. So, I mean, here's the thing. We need real numbers. I have a feeling, obviously, you don't have a budget. What I'm gathering is you're bringing in somewhere around 4,000 to 4,100 a month,

plus whatever plumbing you do. We don't know what that amount is. The equation we need is how much does it cost for you to run your lifestyle minus the debt because we're going to pay the debt off. So we need to find out how much does it take to keep the lights on, keep the water going, keep food on the table, keep the vehicles running. If it's $4,100, you're okay and you can make this work. What I would suggest is just what Ken said.

We're going to sell house number two and we're going to take 79 of the $100,000 and we're going to pay off the debt and then you're going to take $90,000. and I would say keep three to six months of expenses out, keep that in a high yield savings account, and then the rest, you're going to plop it in some nice mutual funds. And if you can, after this call, go to ramsusolutions.com slash smartvester, I believe is what it is. And I want you to get with a smart vester pro because investing some of this money is going to be helpful for you. It's not going to be the break-free point for you.

I think at this point I think at this point for you keeping these paid for real estate is going to help you live like you can't afford to sell these just yet so keeping the rent on them is probably going to be a big a good move for you and if you get to the point where you can no longer be a landlord you're selling those and you're popping those into a 401k

I'm sorry into a Roth IRA as well really so you don't think you should sell one to clear the seven If he sells it, he doesn't have any income. I told him to, no, he's got income. No, no, no, I told him to sell number two. Okay, good. Okay, got you got you.

I'm talking about the other two, the one that's on his property. He can't sell that one anyway. I agree. But I would tell you, the one with a family of seven, with five kids, appreciate your heart. But they need to at least be paying market rent. That's true. And then at the same time, if you need to unload that to take care of yourself, you can give them plenty of advance notice to where you're going to.

not kicking them out. That's true. That's true. You can't just be the, you know, whatever you've fashioned yourself to be this hero here. It doesn't make you a bad guy. There's a way to go about it in a way that does not, you know, make life for them really uncomfortable and stressful. But that's something to be thinking about. And I agree, you need to sit with a smart vester pro tomorrow to begin to plot out your future. It's that time again, folks. Tax season is here. I know. Some of you would rather bury your head in the sand until April 15th than face your taxes. But here's a better idea. If your tax situation is complicated, get in touch with a Ramsey trusted tax pro today. That way they can take the stress off your shoulders and once those tax forms come in

and teach you how to keep your tax bill as low as possible. But don't wait, Ramsey trusted pros can book up fast. Go to ramsysolutions.com slash tax pro to find one who serves your area with excellence. That's ramsysolutions.com slash tax pro. All right, the Ramsey Show question of the day is sponsored by Y Refi. If your private student loans are in default and other lenders said no, Y refi could be your next step. Why refi was built for this situation, helping borrowers refinance with a low fixed rate and an affordable payment so you can get back to winning with money. Check out YREFI.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter YR E-F-Y.com

slash Ramsey. It may not be available in all states. All righty. Today's question comes from Ashley in South Dakota. She says, Jade mentioned on a recent show

that her husband saves his personal fund money out of their budget to make larger purchases. What are the logistics of that? How and where is allocated money set aside and tracked so he knows how much he has

in that fund if it's not spent, each month. Okay. And I know, I know how he does this. You do. You might, you might, could take this part, Kim. Yeah. Um, okay, I would just go out on the limb and just say, this is what Sam and I do. Okay. This is how it goes in the warshot household. You know, don't at me. Okay. So on the budget, we have a certain amount of money, um, fund money. One line is for Jade and one line is for Sam. It's the same amount for each of us. it's there every single month

and it used to be for the longest if you didn't use it you'd lose it it's like if you don't use it it's going to roll into savings it's going to roll it's going to go somewhere so you may I always use mine but Sam was really bad about using it and so he finally was like I'm going to pull this money out and just

stack it up because he's the type A he has expensive taste Ken Coleman I know believe me he likes things that one month of fun money can't buy okay and that's fine so he stacks it up. I'll be on. I'm going to be dead honest with you. I don't know where he puts it. You don't? It's somewhere in the house. I totally know where he does. Where is it? It's in a drawer.

It's in a sock drawer? I think so. Okay. Don't quote me on the socks. But he and I were hanging out recently. I think this may have how this came up on the show. He pulled off a great surprise for the fan. He did. He did. I don't want to reveal stuff. I'm not allowed to reveal. But he and I were talking about it. I knew about it ahead of time. And he told me, he was like, this is, this is really an expensive surprise. And I said, dude, you're making memory. You're making memory. And he did. Yeah, he did. But it was because he stacks it in that drawer, wherever the drawer is.

And then he was like, oh, it's months and months. Months and months. Sam has always been a squirrel since I've met him. He stacks cash. That is what he does. I'm the spender. Well, anyway, yeah, he stacks it up. I'm sure, as far as the question, how does he know how much he has?

I think he's just counting it. Like, I think he just. He revisits it every once in a while. Uh-huh. I bet you counts it when he adds. to it. Yeah, he probably does. He has a ballpark idea. Yeah, he probably keeps a ballpark idea in his head. And when he feels like he's getting close, he probably counts it. Now, I, Jade could care less. I'm telling you right now, I don't know how much money he has over there. I don't care. If I went home today and said, I want to know how much money you have, show me where it is. He would do all of those things. So it's not even a question. And I know, like, he was saving up. He wants to buy a golf cart. He was saving up to do that. Yeah. He saved up and bought the name. And he can buy whatever he wants. He saved up and bought a real-life replica Ninja Turtle suit from the movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in the 90s.

Yeah. Not a replica. Like legit costume. Legit. Yeah. That an actor would have worn on the movie. Yeah. It's on display in his office.

It's unbelievable. It's pretty crazy. But what was great is this is a great story because he said to me that he goes, do you think this is insane? And he told me how much the thing was going to cost. And I go, do you have the cash sitting in your drawer? He goes, yeah, and then some. I was like, what are we talking about? This is a done deal.

Because it was months and months of a line item that stacked up, and then it was also something that made memories. I literally was like, what are we talking about? You have to do it. Yes, great. And he did. So anyway, that's how he does it. That's how he does it.

It's not real scientific. And I think it is on par with how fun money should be spent. Like, who says it has to be all? Right. It's not a FSA. And your personalities are different. So if we mean it and we put it in the budget, then it's yours and you spend yours every month. I have a little bit saved.

All right. Let me ask a question. And you can choose not to answer. But I think America would like to know. Give us an example or two of something you have recently bought with your fun money. Oh, boy. Whether you saved or you went all in on something very small and reasonable. I don't remember the last thing I bought.

It was probably some clothing or shoe item. Like, it's usually clothes or clothes or shoes. Okay. Well, there it is. But I'm about to buy a hair dryer. It's $500. A hair dryer? A hair dryer?

A hair? Yeah, it's called the rev air. And it's amazing. Is this one that you sit under all along the 1970s? No, it works the opposite. It works like a vacuum. So it sucks your hair in. And then it, you don't, like there's no tension.

It sucks your hair into the tube. Sorry, what I'm doing with my hands. And then it dries inside? Yeah. And then it comes out dry and straight. And you can set it on. setting. So if you have your curly, it keeps your curly. If you have straight, it straightens it out. Does it, does the owner's manual recommend that you do that with another adult present?

No. You can do it. It sounds a little risky to me. The way you described, sucking in your hair. What happens if it like takes your ear off? It's, it's gentle. It's gentle. But that's what I'm saving my fun money for. So the point here is, guys, you need, you need, you need fun money on your budget, number one, if you're beyond baby step two, and three and it's okay to save it up. Yeah. I think so. Do you support this message?

Oh, 100%. And I support the fact that you're taking on a somewhat physically risky hair dryer. I promise it's all right. I'm a little concerned about it, but as long as, again, Sam is around. He's around. He'll be all right. He can help out if something goes awry. Melissa is up next in Chicago.

Melissa, how can we help? Hi, I have a question about a student loan debt, but it is not my student loan. My daughter is 27, and she's been graduated for a few years now, and I know her loans are in forbidance. And while she was growing up, I was a single mom. I'm still single, but I had one income, and I wasn't able to help her save a lot for college. So I'm in a better position now, and I really want to come up with a plan to help her pay these off. but make it motivating for her to do so. So financially, you know, her being an adult, me being a mom,

like where should I go with that, like offering her money or I just don't know how to quite make her, because she hasn't been paying on them because she's a teacher and she's in the low income category right now. So she's kind of been burying her head in the sand. And I've been listening to you for like four months now and student loans, student loans. And I feel like I skipped over that baby step because I wasn't able to do it. at the time and now I can help a little bit. So I don't know where I should, how far I should step into this. Well, I love that you're-

He hasn't asked for any help, might I add. She's never asked for any help on it. I mean, I love the heart that you would even want to help. I think that's very sweet and very kind. My first order of business, it would be to determine if you're in a position to help. So how old are you? 47. Okay.

And tell us about your financial snapshot. Do you have any debt? I have no debt No debt Great And emergency fund saved up Six months Love that for you

And you're actively investing the 15% Correct Okay And so I mean I'm gonna jump in real quick Because we only have about 30 or 40 seconds The question I have is

How much income above and beyond your expenses Do you have flexibility with every month I have probably $1,500 flexible. And that's what you would spend, or what would you give her? I travel a lot. I travel a lot.

Hey, no shame in your game. So tell Jade, what are you thinking? Tell Jade what you think you're going to contribute? What did you've thought about? I was thinking. I say, hey, let's get going. Whatever you put down, I will match 50%. I want you to have some skin in the game, but you need to start.

She's got about $32,000. I like the matching thing because it incentivizes her. make payments as well. My only caveat on this is you must make the payment directly to the debt. We're not going to just give her the money. Okay. Okay. So get a hold of all of her information to do that directly. Yep. And she makes the payment first and you make the payment second. Okay. That way, that way it's on the up and up. That's a pro tip there. I like that. Pro tip. That is. That's why she's in that chair there. I love that. Hey, Melissa, you're a good mom. Thanks for calling.

Yeah, really good. I think Jade gave you some great advice. I would walk that out to a T. Hey, guys, what's up? It's Jade. And I'm pumped for the new year. And I hope you are too. But the problem is, most people start the new year with a lot of promises and no real plan.

You know how it is. I'm going to save money. Or I'm going to get my financial act together. But without a plan, you just wing it and hope it works out. Listen, don't play yourself. I want you to win. And our every dollar app is the game changer. need. In 15 minutes, every dollar helps you build a plan based on where you're at with money

right now. And every day, the app coaches you with ways to find extra money so you can beat debt and build wealth faster. It's like having me in your pocket, helping you stay on track all year long. So don't just wish your money works out. You can be the one to actually make it happen this year. Download the every dollar budget app and get started right now for free. All right, let's go to Lisa in Las Vegas. Lisa, how can we help? Hi, thanks for taking my call today. You bet.

What's going on? So I have a question. I've been remarried. This is my second marriage. Same for him. We've been married four years. And he still refuses to combine finances no matter what comes at us. He was recently laid off after being at a company for 25 years, about four months ago.

and after that he still refuses to combine finances. So I don't know. My question is how do I move forward despite that decision? So first things first, if he's not making an income, how is he living if he refuses to combine finances? He's getting unemployment in recently. I did not know he was gambling. Oh, gambling? Like, well, I didn't know this until he won $50,000, like, 30 days ago.

Uh-huh. So he's flipping off that. What kind of gambling are we talking about? Um, he bets, I guess, her mind for the football game. Sports betting. Man, that's a problem. Okay. That makes this make more sense when you were first talking.

Lisa, I had the thought. I thought people who don't want transparency are generally trying to hide something. Not always, but a lot of times that's, especially if they're, like, adamant about it. Then they gaslight you and say, well, I don't trust you. you. Yeah. Okay. So this is a big deal.

Any type of, I don't know if it's an addiction. I mean, gambling in and of itself, you know, it can be fine to place a bed on something, obviously. But it seems like there could be more than meets the eye to his gambling simply because it's been used as a front to keep you out of his business financially. So you. Maybe. Say again? I feel like he's not gambling like thousands and thousands. How do you know?

He's just not lucky this time. Based on the income that he makes and he still pays all the bills for it about a year ago, I was like, you know what? If you're not going to save, I'm done paying me bills. How do you know he's not taking out debt? I checked his credit score. Okay, okay. Okay, so there is some transparency.

Yeah. Okay. What do you think? know him better than Ken and I. What do you think is the reason that he doesn't want to combine finances? Is that he got burned in his previous marriage? Not necessarily. I don't think so. Asia's didn't work out. He just says he doesn't trust me. And I just want to give it like a little glimpse of what my financial situation looks like when I came into marriage. I had just finished building a triplex. And since getting married, I've paid it off because this was pre-marriage. So I get

income off of that. I work two jobs just because I like it, not because I have to. So it's not like... You're a hard worker. Is there anything relationally that would give him reason not to pot? Like, can you think of, and you don't have to tell us if there is exactly what it is, but is there anything that could cause him to go, I'm not sure if I trust her. If there is, it's just something that he has to work through, not necessarily something I've given him to hold it against me. But do you know of anything that could be there, even if it's his to work through Do you know of what that could be? And again, you don't have to say it specifically, but how?

Not really. I mean, I haven't done anything, you know, to make him feel insecure that I'm going to steal all the money that. Does he tell you the reason he doesn't trust? If you ask him straight up, hey, what is the reason that you don't trust me? What is it? What does he tell you? Because I wouldn't combine finances in the beginning, but I had no money in the beginning. So there was really nothing to combine.

Got it. So that leads me to, did you guys discuss this at all before you got married? So we did. And we did open a chicken account in the beginning to combine our finances. But again, I wasn't putting any money in it because I had no money when we met. But he wanted to combine finances when you got married? Yeah, he was open to it. But little by little, he started putting his chick, his,

work money into another account and little by little like that communal account stopped being used. So it's kind of like we went back. But every time I downloaded the app. I want to go back to that because I feel like I heard a couple of different things. First you said he doesn't trust me because in the beginning he wanted to combine finances and I didn't. Then it changed to, well, I would have, but I didn't have any money. Then it changed to, well, he stopped putting money in the account. Right.

So already that story shifting has me. has a question mark over my head over what's really going on. How are you guys really talking about money? How is he perceiving what you're saying in your actions? Because I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time perceiving it myself. If he was on the phone with us, the first thing I would have said after hearing all this is you guys need to go sit with a marriage therapist who is objective and guiding you both at the same time. You guys, you're like ships in the the night a little bit. There's some stuff going on. You both come from previous marriages. You got to own it and go, we aren't on the same page. And if we don't get on the same page,

this is going to fall apart. So now's a good time. Doesn't sound like things are completely on fire. But yeah, you guys just, you just don't sound like you're doing marriage the way that it's supposed to be done. And that's just like, hey, we're actually trying. Doesn't mean we're perfect, but we're trying to be on the same page. And I just don't feel like that's happening. And I think you need an impartial professional to help you get there. Yeah, I would agree with that. I don't think that this is a numbers or really a money conversation per se. Yeah. Yeah. And again, I think there's a bigger issue here. And I put you on hold because I want Jade to teach to this. This is a good example of why we talk about combining incomes when you get married.

It just, so let's go back. It's almost like a refresher. Why do we teach it? And how does this call kind of play it out to where we go, this is the potential pitfalls, even though this is not, I don't think a crisis yet. Yeah. So, I mean, there's the relational benefit, then there's the actual financial benefit, right? Financially, it makes sense.

Two incomes are better than one. You know, two heads are better than one. You go further faster together, right? That's just kind of like the headline version of that. I don't think anybody would really argue with that. Now, of course, much of those isms matter with who you married, right? If you married a ball and chain, you ain't going anywhere fast, right? So there's part, I understand that I want to know.

I want you to know, I know that. So marrying the right person obviously matters to that equation. Then there's the relational side, which is why marrying the right person matters. The relational side, guys, is when you can combine finances, that means, that there's a level of trust and a level of transparency in marriage that is needed to function properly. You can't function properly in marriage with someone you don't trust. You can't function properly in marriage with someone you wouldn't be willing to give your pass code to, that you wouldn't be willing to let them see all of your purchases. Because then you have to

ask yourself, why am I hiding this? Why am I hiding this specifically from them? Why do they feel the need to hide from me. It unlocks so many questions within the relationship, which can be a good thing in this case. Sure. Because now we're starting to head on the path of realness. Because trust is a two-way street. Right. And I love how you're pointing this up because I could be sitting in this situation going, okay, I don't trust you. And then if we dive into it with a therapist, you go, well, what are the reasons you don't trust? And it's not something they've actually done. Yeah. It's something that has been done to you. Possibly, yes. Possibly, yes. It's not always that clean. But can we also talk about, and I want to say this with the caveat, I've only been married one time. Sam Worshaw's my only husband.

Me too. But I do find... Well, except for the Sam being my husband. Good clarity. I do find that on this show, we do find this a lot in second marriages. Yeah. And it's almost like there's, it's almost like there's a framework that we have for first marriages, but we don't carry that framework in, which is the all in. I'm in. I'm with this person. Da-da-da-da-da. We don't carry that into the second marriage. And it's due to her.

I'm sure, or I got burned or, man, they really out, did a number on me. And I think you have to fight really hard if you're in that second marriage seat to honor the same vows and principles that marriage really is, which is I am giving all of me to all of you. And we are becoming one flesh. That really is what marriage is about at the core. I heard John Legend in the background when you were saying all of me. I can't do John Legend. I'm not even trying.

I was ready for it. No, it's terrible. I would just butcher it. But great advice, and that's why we teach it, that's this plain of an explanation you're going to get. Hey, guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next.

Now, you can get that same kind of help any time with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to Ramsey Solutions.com and try Ask Ramsey Today. That's Ramsey Solutions.com. All right, our scripture of the day comes from John 3, verse 27. John answered and said a man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. And our quote from Ronald Reagan, The American Dream is not that every man must be leveled with every other man.

The American Dream is that every man must be free to become whatever God intends he should become. All right. Our next person up is Zach in Columbus, Ohio. Zach, how can we help? Hi, how are you doing? Good. How are you, sir? Long-time follower. Well, pretty good.

Long-time follower of the Baby Steps. I have purchased my dream car. I've owned it for about four years now. Which is what? So it's a 2017 Dodge Challenger TA edition with a manual transmission. Okay. It's got only 16,000 miles on it. I bought it with 13,000.

So I put about 3,000, 4 years. Treated as a Sunday driver type thing only in the summer. It's the same year that my son was born. So kind of sentimental to me. Okay. I'm on babysat four, five, and six. and I hate debt. I'm gone through a baby step two twice now.

First time we pay off $140,000. Second time was $113,000. So all I'm left on is my mortgage, and it's driving me crazy. How much? So $144,000. I just made a payment of $75,500 on Monday, right from $152 down to that. What is your anticipated payoff? Because I know you're thinking about it.

36 months. Wow, okay. Just around the corner. So what's your question? Well, you know, I bought this car with the intention of keeping it forever. One of my grandkids one day to find it in the barn type thing. Okay. But, you know, I'm contemplating.

You know, if I sold this car, I could pay off 21% of my remaining mortgage tomorrow. What's that number? So I could sell the car wholesale, 31, you know, you could sell tomorrow. If I sold it retail to another buyer, probably could get about 30. I got to tell you. I mean, if you want to sell it, you can. I wouldn't. Okay.

You got two no sales here. I mean, you sat. You spent way more time explaining the car than the problem, which means you love the car. And then don't tell us it's on your child's birthday and all these other things. You want them to find it in the barn one day? Yes, come on. I mean, here's the deal. Are you financially responsible?

Yes or no? Yes, sir. Are you on track to pay that house off in 36 months? Yes, sir. What are we doing here? Yeah. Like, here's the thing. You sell that car.

Let's just play this out. Let's fast forward. You sell the car, and let's say you split the difference, you get $30,000 for it. Okay? And you put that on the mortgage. How much time is that going to shave off the 36 months? Eight months. Eight months. Oh, so not worth it.

Now what do you think? Yeah, and that's where I'm stuck. No, you're not. Then I get into thinking of, you know, if I do keep it forever, you know, if just the brakes alone is $5,000 on this car. Okay, but let's, I want to say, I'm going to fight for this for a second because we're talking about eight months or a legacy. Because when you said I want them to find it in the barn. we're talking about that is a long expansive time. So when you're really saying it's a it's a it's a question of time here, which time matters more? The eight months that it's going to shave off my debt-free journey or the years and years that I'm going to drive this car in the summertime with my kids, the thing that I hope to leave to them, right? And don't get me wrong, you're going to do what you want to do and no one's going to be mad at you. I just want to help you see the value of, you what you

what you were intending to do. Zach, I don't think you think you deserve it. Yeah, and that's one of the things with this car. It was, you know, I graduated high school with a 1.8 GPA. I've worked my way up from the ground up. Then I go to college, got married at 19, put my life through college. Tiling seemed to have made it and bought my dream car

that I never thought I could have and want to pass down my kids. And they love it. It looks like a Hot Wheels car to the... but at the same time the security of a paid for house no debt but you'll get that you've already you're already on track for that and if you really needed the money for that car you could sell it tomorrow it's an actual in this case it is a bit of an asset yes or no okay yes sir okay so i don't think you think you're good enough you know how i know it you said you said 1.8 GPA you threw that out there and it's a little bit of a badge of on

but it still's got some shame attached to it. Yes or no? Yes, sir. Okay. So you don't think that you're good enough for that car and you think you're being irresponsible by having that car. You threw out the $5,000 breaks. Well, two responses to that. Now, I'm going to fight for it. Yeah. Two responses. Number one, you're a guy who's paid off over six figures in debt twice. That guy can put away a little bit of money each month for car repairs. and you're driving that thing so little, it's going to take twice as long to repair those brakes as it would if you were driving it every day.

True or false? That's true, yes, sir. Stop making excuses to buy in to this narrative about yourself that's incorrect. We're talking to a guy who's very responsible. We're talking to a guy who loves his kids and all he happens to love a really cool car. And I'll bet you don't have many hobbies. No, I work.

I come home and fish, occasionally drive the corner, and that's about it. Then don't sell the car. Don't sell the car. We've already ruled. There's no more discussion here. Gavl to the table. You and I have had many discussions today, but this brings up another really good discussion. With money, the thing, there's something about money that it does.

It scratches the itch of us feeling like, okay, I've done the responsible thing. I've made up for the past. I have, right? And you're trying to set success there for your family or whatever it may be for you. the hard thing with money and the thing that we have to remember is it is a moral like it's just a tool out there however i'm going to say it has a magnetism to it there's a there's a quality that it always moves the goalposts further and further and it takes us with it and it's like the goalpost goes there and like a magnet we go with it and then it goes there and we go further and you have to fight really hard

to go well wait a second before it was a really great win to get debt free and then we were fine with like, okay, we'll pay out the house, da-da-da-da. And then if you don't fight that, it pulls the joy of you living your life because it pulls the goalposts a little bit further. And you're like, ah, I got to do that now. And you're stealing your own joy from yourself because you're letting that magnet pull you further. And you just have to be careful. Don't give me, I'm rock. I'm all for success. I'm all for. I am a very, I love achieving. So I'm not taking that away from anybody. But you just have to. to be careful. Yeah, I agree. And again, you talk a lot about in your last book, the bestseller,

the emotions of money. And we can't forget that those emotions are based on experiences in our lives around money. So we didn't unpack this with Zach, but I'll guarantee you the same patterns where he talked about, I was a 1.8 GPA, I got married at 19. Here's what I heard. I did things the untraditional way. I did things in a way that no one recommends. Everybody says, go to college, so therefore he wouldn't have gotten married. He was playing out a narrative that said he was proud of himself and rightfully so. But he did everything the hard way.

Yeah. And not the way that you're supposed to. Right, right. And so then you also go, okay, so there's those emotions which I touched on. But what we don't know is what kind of background he had. What was environment like growing up in his house around money? How did people view money? Did his dad, did he hear his dad go, we'll never own a nice car?

And so is there a level of, and I don't know, I'm projecting, but that's where you talk a lot about the emotions around money, and we've got to master those. That's right. Yeah, we know this. Money touches every area of life. And because of that, when we teach something like the baby steps or even a really simple thing of saying, hey, for a little while, you're going to sacrifice short term for a long-term gain, right?

You might tell somebody to sell the car. I might tell somebody to, you know, stop getting your nails done. And it's never just that. It's how could you tell me, how could you tell me to sell my car? Don't you know that when I grew up, you know, we only had one car and I had to walk to school and I didn't have gloves because my parents, right? And we spin out to whatever we remember. So just remember that money is very emotional. By the way, she goes into great detail in her bestselling book, what no one tells you about money, can get it wherever books are sold. And remember this, folks. There's ultimately only one way to financial peace. and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.