The Ramsey Show - Income Isn’t the Problem—Your Money Plan Is

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:04 Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author,
Starting point is 00:00:28 my daughter is my co-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-to-day. Open phones at AAA-8-25-2-25. Brad is in Atlanta, Georgia. Hi, Brad. How are you? I'm doing good, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve.
Starting point is 00:00:41 What's up? So, you know, I've just been kind of struggling lately. You know, I make pretty decent money, made about 92K last year, but, you know, I'm still kind of catching myself living paycheck to paycheck with very minimal savings. So I'm just trying to see, you know, what's a good budgeting tool, you know, to really get me up there, you know, so I can feel more comfortable about my finances. Brad, do you, how much consumer debt do you have? I'd say I'm about 20k in debt. What kind of debt is it? Right now it's a finance loan for a car, about 2K for a personal loan,
Starting point is 00:01:25 and then the rest is just, you know, odd ends, about 5K, 5, 6K in credit cards. Mm-hmm, okay. Are using the credit cards to stay afloat, or is this thing's beyond just? needs that you're using the credit card for. I mean, I feel like, you know, every time I make a credit card payment, something comes up to where I have to use it again. So I'm not really bringing that balance down. Are you single?
Starting point is 00:01:50 Constantly. No, I am not. I've been in a relationship for about seven months now and just found out a few weeks ago that my girlfriend is pregnant. And this will be her first kid and my second child. I already have a one and a half year old son. Okay. Well, there's a couple of things kind of going through my head, Brad. Number one is that there is a chance it's a lot of disorganization and you're living from crisis to crisis.
Starting point is 00:02:22 And when that happens, there's an urgency that's created that you end up actually not only making bad financial decisions, but you end up spending more money when that's your mindset versus having a plan in place, knowing exactly where every single dollar is. going and cutting up the credit card, that's not your safety net anymore. And kind of getting around, again, this idea that you're digging yourself into a hole while you're trying to get out of debt. And so what I would say to you is, number one, I think the budget's going to be key for you. And before we get off the line, Christian can pick up and we can get you a year of every dollar. And to really map out and say, okay, here's what I'm bringing home every single month. And here is where this is going. And you're going to start to see some,
Starting point is 00:03:07 some glaring habits about where the money has been going. And you're going to start to see, well, I can't, I can't be spending like I've been spending. So you're going to feel a pullback from lifestyle. But what that's going to give you then is cash and margin to be able to build up some savings and then start working your way out of debt. But it's really this process that you have to go through because if you stay in this cycle, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting. And so breaking out of it is big.
Starting point is 00:03:33 But in your case, the level of chaos, I think having something ground. and fax in front of you, a plan that doesn't have feelings that you can go and stick to is going to be really important. How old are you? Okay. I am 30. I turned 31 this month. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Let's pretend that I hired you for $90,000 a year and your job was to make this guy Brad's money behave. If you don't do your job, I'm going to fire you. What would you do? You would write down every one of those dollars and tell it what to do, and you would make those dollars behave. Right now, they're just kind of running loose and running amok. They're all over the place. And so when you use the every dollar budgeting app, which we're going to hook you up with, you're going to give every one of those dollars a name before the month begins an assignment,
Starting point is 00:04:22 and then you're by God going to stick to it. When you do this, the first time you write it all out, you're going to go, where has I been spending all this money? You're going to feel like you've got to raise. Right. That's what will happen. As soon as you get organized and intentional. And, you know, and as quickly as possible and is reasonable, make the decision if we're going to be a family or not. And because that weaves into this greatly. So if we're going to be a family, that means we're getting married. That's what a family is. And so if that's where this is going, you all need to make that decision.
Starting point is 00:05:01 And then you need to weave that into your overall plan that, you know, we've got, now have a human to raise. You've got two. But now we have this baby that we are responsible for, and so we can't be going to happy hour. We've got to clean up this debt. We've got to have money for she for sure can't. Formula and, well, formula and baby diapers. I mean, here we go. She's pregnant, yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's right. Jamie's in Dayton, Ohio. Hi, Jamie. How are you? I've been doing better. Uh-oh. What's up? So I woke up this morning and decided that my husband is not doing anything but keeping me poor because he blows his whole check and mine is expected to pay for everything else.
Starting point is 00:05:49 So what I'm trying to figure out is if it's worse staying in the house I'm in now and paying $750 or moving to a friend's house that he owns and paying $500 a month for a two-bedroom for like a year so I can get my debt paid down and my life together. $250 a month is not your problem, is it? No, my problem is that I've been doing this for 10 years. And it's just been me. And I pay, so me and him have five kids together, and I have five older kids that live with their dad. Because when I left, he kept them and won't let me have them.
Starting point is 00:06:24 But we have a good, I still see him. I have them every other weekend. But I pay $1,000 a month in child support before I even get paid. What do you make? 24, 61 an hour, so about probably like. What's he make? 1442 an hour
Starting point is 00:06:39 yeah because he won't keep a job I reckon not he's got the worst job on the planet I mean crap targets paying 20 bucks an hour yeah he won't he won't keep a job and I'm just I woke up this morning and it was like a light switch hit
Starting point is 00:06:56 and I'm just tired of being tired yeah well I mean you opened the call with he's not pulling his weight and then you instantly change to do I move to a $250 cheaper house. $250 is not your problem. You two getting on the same page and you two accelerating in your careers is your problem. No, well, yeah, but, well, see, I'm on track to finish the year making 28 an hour. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:24 And my job now. Yeah, but he's not. And so getting on track with him is like 90% of your problem, not your rent. No, I know, but the problem is he won't get on track. I've been trying for 10 years. That's a marriage problem. That's a marriage problem. I know.
Starting point is 00:07:45 What I'm telling you is $250 a month moving to the cheaper house doesn't solve your problem because it's not high rent is not your problem. A husband that you're not working with and you're not aligned with is your problem. So let's solve the real problem. Let's not go jumping around. Oh, I'm going to move to a cheaper house and act like that fix something. It doesn't fix it. Well, it feels like you're doing something, though, Jamie.
Starting point is 00:08:08 So I get why you're like- But you're avoiding the actual issue. Yes. You're grasping at the wrong thing. Yeah. And the hard thing is you can't control him. You can control, you know, saving $250. That probably feels good.
Starting point is 00:08:19 But the real problem is something you can't control, which is him. And so there's some big decisions that you guys are going to have to make of what your life is going to look like going forward. If you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting in the marriage, in the careers, and the money. And so change all of it. Change the careers, change the money, or start working together and change the marriage issue. And that's the definition of starting to win. The things that are broken have to be fixed, and it's not your rent.
Starting point is 00:08:51 If you're looking for a more budget-friendly way to save on medical costs and stay true to your values, Christian health care ministries is a great option to think about. CHM is not health insurance. It's a health-cost-sharing ministry, a biblical community-based way for Christians to share each other's medical bills. That means no enrollment deadlines, and you can choose any doctor or hospital you want. That kind of freedom is big, especially if you're self-employed between jobs, or you just need something that fits your budget better. CHM has been around for decades, faithfully serving the Christian community.
Starting point is 00:09:36 And many members save hundreds of dollars a month compared to traditional health insurance. and that margin gives you breathing room when you're working the baby steps and trying to steward your money well. And right now, CHM's offering new members a 50% credit towards their first month of membership. Get started at CHministries.org slash budget and use promo code Ramsey. That's CHministries.org slash budget and promo code Ramsey. Natalie is in Oklahoma City. Hi, Natalie. How are you? Hello, I'm doing fine. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?
Starting point is 00:10:26 So I just got married on this Saturday, and me and my partner had discussed being debt-free and paying all of our debts. And then once we got married and we had our first real discussion yesterday, he claimed that he's not letting go of the credit cards because he doesn't see them in his debt, which I tried to explain to him, and he said I'm not giving them up. in his eye and she doesn't see it like that. How long did you all date before you were married?
Starting point is 00:11:01 We got married a year, like within a year. Did you guys talk? Sorry, we did it for a year and then we got married like the 12th month. Okay. So this was a conversation you guys had. What was it yesterday? Yeah, I let him know that if we got, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:25 because we talked about marriage. We're older. I'm 33. He's 31. So I told him when we got married, that we would combine all, you know, follow the VAEMC,
Starting point is 00:11:33 combine our finances until we were married and then start paying off debt. So yesterday, I said we should start paying off their credit cards and then start on your vehicle. And he's just like, that's fine. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:11:48 but you got to promise me not to use them again. And he said, no, I'm going to, because he doesn't see them as debt. And I tried to explain to him about how... Yeah, I think... Yeah, more of the... Sorry.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Of my head, go anyway. Well, I was going to say more of the frustration is that he didn't keep his word. You know what I mean? That you guys had agreed on something. And now he's changing his mind, essentially. Which, it's frustrated because he doesn't feel and lose that, you know, like, any time you owe anybody anything? It's considered that, you know, like, any kind of owe anybody anything? It's considered that.
Starting point is 00:12:27 those two, $300 payments you're making towards the card you can put in our savings. And he's like, well, it's for an emergency and this and that. So I don't I'm trying to work the baby steps with my partner now. I don't have debt other
Starting point is 00:12:43 than my mortgage. I'm kind of nervous combining our incomes together if he's not going to the program. Because I work pretty hard to get out of debt. And to buy my home. Yeah, so what bothers me about this? whole thing is not the detailed issue of whether he thinks credit cards are dead or not. I mean,
Starting point is 00:13:03 that's just stupid. But the thing that bothers me is that you've married a guy that doesn't give a crap about your opinion and can't keep his word. And that level of disrespect and dishonesty is going to be well beyond money issues. It's going to come up in other places, too. you know and well i just stopped by on the way home from the office had one beer oh you told me you're coming straight home for dinner oh well i had just one beer you know i do whatever the heck i want to do because i'm me that's what this guy is and uh by the way there's nothing wrong with stopping by and having a beer if you want but don't do that until your wife you weren't after you told your wife you weren't going to and that's this guy so that that's my problem here is is the underlying lack of
Starting point is 00:13:56 character and the underlying lack of respect for his new wife instead of treasuring you and wanting to serve you and love you and be there for you, he's all about, well, that's what I want to. Yeah. Sounds like he's 14 years old. Yeah, because it's on his credit. Yeah. No, it's not his.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Now it's ours. We got married Saturday. So now you're screwed up. Everything he screws up screws you up for the rest of your life, as long. as you're married. That's what's going to happen. So, I mean, I think the core issue is that that you guys have a really weak relationship. That's what's bothering me a whole lot more than just whether or not credit card is dead or not. That's just a stupid statement. But the way he's coming at this is like, I told you I was going to do one thing. I changed my mind. I don't care
Starting point is 00:14:52 what you think. This is what I want to do. And I don't like that. I don't care. It's what I want to do. And, you know, his, the way he's treating you is what's bothering me. So I don't want you to accept that. I want you to create a relationship crisis and call for marriage counseling immediately and see if you need to have this in old or not. Because if the guy can't keep his word and he can't treasure you and honor you, you're going to have a long life, girl. This is not a good, this is not a good start.
Starting point is 00:15:25 So, I mean, I'm going to. create a say, I'm going to go see a marriage counselor because the guy I married promised me one thing and now there's some other guy showed up here in my bed. And, you know, and so I'm going to, I'm going to create a crisis in this situation because he thinks this is all okay, that it's okay he does this. But he's 33 and he's been doing it a long time. Yeah. He's been a single dog a long time. He gets to do whatever he wants to. Nobody, nobody around he had to consider up until a year ago. Yeah. And until Saturday. when y'all get married.
Starting point is 00:16:00 So, yeah, the urgency of this, Natalie, is, I mean, I would. I would bring in a third party as soon as possible because if you let this linger, you guys will continue to create division in a new marriage that will continue on that way for a long time. And so if you can get this straightened out, at least get on the same page of value systems and goals together, working together, right? Like the big stuff. And then you can start doing the tactical things of like, does he keep a credit card or not? But like the big idea of, hey, we are one together and we are going to create a financial life that we both feel good about.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Yeah. That's what's key. Yeah. And that's what's broken. And that's like at the core of your marriage. Not that money's at the core of your marriage, but you're not agreeing about life. And you've been married three days. Hello. It's supposed to be the honeymoon phase. All right, Natalie. You got some, y'all got some work. It's supposed to be all happy.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I'm hopeful for you all. I really am. Well, some things are going to have to change or I'm not. So I'm hopeful that you force the change into this situation. And I'm going to have some people experiencing some pain over there so that we don't live a lifetime of pain. Robertson Tucson. Hi, Robert. How are you? Hey, good afternoon. Can you hear me all right? Yes, sir. What's up?
Starting point is 00:17:32 All right. First off, I just want to say thank you for taking my call. Before I can answer to the finer details, my question is essentially if I have a good plan to prepare to exit the military in a few years. Okay. When will you be leaving? About two years. Call it summer of 2028. Okay. And what will you be doing? What's your career going to be? So I would like to pursue getting an NBA full-time utilizing the GI Bill. That's not a career. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:04 What are you going to do for a living? What is it you want to do that's going to make you money and support you when the government's no longer writing you a check? So after school, I'm interested in either consulting or investment banking. Okay. And do you have an undergraduate in business? I do, sir. Okay. So what I would be suggesting is you get lined up a job or a career field that you want to enter, and as you approach summer of 28, you line up a job that pays more than you make now,
Starting point is 00:18:36 and you do your MBA as an adult MBA studying at night. Okay. Can I just give you some numbers to see if that changes anything? It doesn't. You still got to go make a living. What are your numbers, Robert? What is it? So I'm 26 years old. I'm single. I have no kids.
Starting point is 00:18:58 I also have no debt. Right now, I'm making about $7,800 a month. My current network consists of about $60,000 in my DSB. Good for you. About $2,085 grand, and a taxable brokerage. About $2.5 grand in a Roth IRA, I recently opened. That's great. About $4,000 in cash.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Okay, great. So, I mean, that's part of the reason why I'm exercising, like, going full-time because I've spoken to other veterans in my situation. They say that's a full-time program. It's not a full-time program. An adult MBA at night is just as good, and you can get through it, and there's no reason for you to sit on that savings and burn it up just so you can be a student full-time. It's not a good plan. I would go get a job. That's what I would do.
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Starting point is 00:21:05 Based on average annual payment of AT&T, Verizon and T-Mobile customers, compared to 12 months on the Boost Mobile Unlimited plan as of January 2026, see where. website for full details. Well, tax season is upon us. If you want a free checklist and some free guides that'll help you when you file, go to ramsysolutions.com slash taxes. Kendall is in Oklahoma City. Hi, Kendall. How are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you? Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? So I have a question. I have a mortgage that we got two years ago. we moved into our home. It was newly constructed. It went from a construction loan into a 10-year balloon. Oh, no. I know. At a 7.5 percent. And so I'm actually about to start nurse practitioner
Starting point is 00:22:10 school this summer. And so we're looking at going ahead and refinancing now while the rates are lower. Yes. And we have a couple of different options that have been presented to us. And my husband and I are kind of having a disagreement. So we have gone through the Financial Peace University, but it was a few years ago. And so I know the answer is 30-year-fixed. No, 15-year-fixed. Well, 15-year fixed, yes. But we haven't been given that option so far. The only option we have is either a 5.25% five-year arm or a 6.5% 30-year-year-year-old. 15-year is 5.22 right now. So we haven't gotten anybody to give us that. Why?
Starting point is 00:22:57 I don't know why, because our credit is really good. Call Churchill mortgage. Churchill mortgage, okay. This is the people we've endorsed for 30 years, and they do it. They do 15-year fix for Ramsey listeners every day. Certainly in Oklahoma City they do them, for sure. Yeah. So, yeah, we'll do that then because that's what we're,
Starting point is 00:23:19 he's really leaning towards the 5.25% arm. And I'm like, that does not sound good to me because. We're going out of the fire into the frying pan, the frying pan, into the fire. I mean, it's like one dumb loan into another dumb loan. No, an adjustable rate's going to tag you later. It's going to give you all kinds of trouble. And a fixed rate 15 year is cheap as that right now. I'm looking at the screen right here where the rates are.
Starting point is 00:23:45 And it says 5.22 right now this week. So, yeah, and so, yeah, that's what, now, obviously a 15-year payment is going to be more than your 30-year payment that that balloon is based on. Right. But it's not going to be that much more because you're saving 2% by refinancing. Right. It'll be a little bit different, yeah. Yeah, so what is your, what's your balance with a payoff? So right now it's still at 229,000 as of our latest.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Okay, so it's like $4,500, let's call it $4,800, which is $400 a month in interest savings by refinancing from $7.2 to $5.2, okay? And so, you know, roughly $400 a month, not quite, but almost, $400 a month, that your interest rate goes down, but then when you switch to a 15 year, it's going to go up. And so you're probably going to see an increase of $100 or $200 a month, but you're going to be in a much better long-term plan. Right. And you said you're going to nursing school? Nurse practitioner, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Oh, really? Okay, that's awesome. Good for you. Yeah. Thank you. I'm excited, but it's definitely the second half of the program I will have to go part-time. So right now we make about equal, but when I go part-time, it'll be- What's your household income?
Starting point is 00:25:16 So right now we're making about, let's see, I make about 4,400 he makes about probably close to about $4,000 a month for him. So we make over. You're making about $150 a year roughly, okay. Yeah, about 150 a year. And then when you graduate, it's going to go way up. Yeah. So way to go. I love it.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Congratulations. Yes, it's worth it to bite the bullet and put a little. little strain on right now to get the right kind of mortgage in place and get rid of the high interest rate and the balloon, but don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. Yeah, and make sure you guys are planning out, Kendall, when you go part-time that you guys have money saves, that if you need to, whether it's shifting lifestyle or have some money that's supplementing during that year or two that you have where you have to go part-time, so just be thinking of that out. Plan that out how we're going to eat during that time.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Yeah, definitely. Yeah, good question. Way to go. Well, you win the argument, and Churchill Mortgage can help you guys with that process. I promise you. Jeremy's in Kansas City. Hi, Jeremy. How are you? Hey, not too bad. Good. How can we help? I need some advice on how to build some funds while in steps four, five, and six. Okay. What are the funds for? Well, we've got, I need to set aside money for a truck replacement or truck repairs in the future.
Starting point is 00:26:49 I've just replaced the truck, so a lot of that has been wiped out, and I need to rebuild that fund. We also need some house repairs, like painting the outside of the house, replacing some carpet. I would like to have some retained earnings with my business, and how do I do all of that while also putting money in retirement and extra money towards the house. I'm trying to do a lot of different stuff and I'm not sure how to break it all up. Okay. Well, start with, we'll go with baby steps four, five, and six, which is where you are. You don't have any debt except the house, right? Correct. Good. Okay. So we're going to do 15% of your income into retirement and something extra on the house. I don't know how much, depending on where all of these other things fall.
Starting point is 00:27:33 when you start doing a detailed written plan, and we suggest using the every dollar app, because that will help you do it the easiest, it has built into it the ability for you to have categories where you're setting money aside for upcoming expenses. And so you set money aside for upcoming home repairs. You set money aside for an upcoming replacement of a truck. However, I kind of think the way I heard this, the truck might be your business? Right. Is this like your drive truck for a living? Well, I own a lawn care company. Oh, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:10 But the truck itself is not your daily driver. It's what you use to pull the lawnmowers around. Yep, well, that's pretty much the only time I leave the house is to do lawn care, and then if we go anywhere else, we usually take my wife's car. Yeah, yeah, okay. Well, the thing is, I mean, the work truck could easily be coming out of your work. budget and your work retained earnings should be at the office separate issue so out of your profits you set some aside for retained earnings and that could be for
Starting point is 00:28:43 equipment replacement of all kinds mowers weed eaters whatever down to office so to speak and that's separate from your home budget and then when you make a profit after having retained earnings and after having paid your taxes you bring that money home and put that money once a month is fine into your checking account. And then on your personal, you would begin to set aside sinking funds. And Rachel, the every dollar app does a good job with the sinking funds, right? It does. It's not my favorite function, honestly, because we have a function called goals in the every dollar. And I like the goals better because it gives you an end date. So you can look,
Starting point is 00:29:22 Jeremy, and say, okay, we want to have X amount saved for home repairs because we want to do some, you know, different things around the house. And we want to have that by December. And so the goals part of every dollar, that function, I like better than like the sinking funds function personally because it gives you that end date and it calculates out how much you need to be saving per month. And then it goes into that goals fund. Which is in a sense a sinking fund. Yeah, the sinking fund in every dollar, the way it's laid out for me, I just personally don't. I don't like it as much. I like the goals category.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Yeah. But it's the same idea. It's just like having an end date versus an ongoing fund. And so I like having an end date. So you guys, yep, kind of watch that build up. Yeah, you say, okay, I want $6,000 to do a home repair. That's right. And I want to do it in one year.
Starting point is 00:30:12 That's $500 a month. That's right. And so every dollar carries it each month over. So it's – And builds up. Yeah, it's very, very easy. So if you hold on the line, Jeremy, Christian will pick up and we'll get you a year of every dollar because you'll be able to, like, lay it out and actually see it.
Starting point is 00:30:28 And it's great. But if you have things that are ongoing, you can use the sinking funds. that function, but I love the goals in every dollar. I think that's my favorite personally. Guys, when you are going to win at anything, you have to do it very intentionally, and you have to do it on paper before the month begins. So even like when you're getting married, if you want to win at marriage, you need to do pre-marriage counseling and plan how to be married.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Your probability of success goes way up. When you plan your money, your probability of success goes way up. When you plan your career, your probability of success goes way up. if success goes way up. If you're at the point where you think bankruptcy is your only option, stop for a minute. You might have another way out. Guardian Litigation Group. Most debt relief programs sell you on the illusion of protection.
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Starting point is 00:32:40 Hi, I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I had a recent notice received from the IRS for tax debt from a year when I was married to my former spouse. I was unaware of this tax debt. because I thought it had been addressed. And I run a really tight budget, and I have my debt snowball very planned. And I'm wondering if I pivot from that to take care of this tax debt because it had that notice of lien. It hasn't been, there has not been a lien yet. How much is it?
Starting point is 00:33:17 It's $7,900. What do you make? I make $132. Okay. And what year is this from? 2018. Okay. And you were obviously married then. And you filed married filing jointly? That year, yes. Okay. And you were not aware that the taxes were not paid? That's correct. We had settled in 2020 and the equitable distribution required that he pay that.
Starting point is 00:33:49 And now he's incarcerated. So I think that his payment plan has ceased and they're coming after me for it. Okay. I'm not positive if this will work, but before you decide to pay it, I want you to get in touch with one of our tax professionals at Ramsey Solutions.com that we endorse, the Ramsey trusted. And I want you to ask, and I want you to tell them every detail of the situation, and see if you qualify for a thing called the innocent spouse. Okay. Okay. So an example would be, and this sounds like it, qualifies, but I'm not, you know, without getting into every stinking detail, I'm not positive.
Starting point is 00:34:32 And even if we did, I'm not sure I would know. But the innocent spouse provision of the regular, of the IRS code sounds like this. A good example would be me. Okay, my wife is a full-time mom. I have a business and we do married filing jointly. The number of minutes or hours she spends looking at our tax return is precisely three and a half seconds. Okay? So she signs it and assumes that me and the tax people that we're using know what the flip we're doing, right? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:35:09 And then later on, a tax bill comes up, and then she gets some notice in the mail like you did. Okay? Well, obviously, she didn't have anything to do with it. and so she could file under the innocent spouse provision and say, yeah, we filed married filing jointly. Yes, I did sign the return, but I have no working knowledge of that stupid business or that stupid man. Okay. And so I'm innocent of this tax bill, and they will take it off of you and send it to him. And of course, he's incarcerated, so they're not going to get paid.
Starting point is 00:35:43 But that doesn't matter. What matters is it comes off of you. I think you're going to qualify for that. Okay. Based on what you told me. You see what I'm, you see why? Because this is a thing. A, he was supposed to take care of it.
Starting point is 00:35:56 And B, it was a long ago. But the circumstances were that you had no knowledge that the bills were not being taken care of properly and you signed the return. Correct. And that, that's why I'm thinking you're going to qualify for this innocent spouse provision, which is an $8,000 switch in this conversation. Mm-hmm. So that's the first thing I want you to do.
Starting point is 00:36:18 because I'm like 80, 90% sure you're getting out of this. Okay. Now, if you don't, let's go back to your question, if I'm wrong. Okay. Then what do we do with the 7,900? We put it at the top of the list and we pay it off as soon as you can. Okay. Now my debt snowball.
Starting point is 00:36:37 It goes to the top of the debt snowball. Okay. And you knock it out as fast as you possibly can. Or you go borrow $8,000 from the credit union and pay it off and then put that in the debt snowball. I don't care which. but you get rid of the IRS. You do not want these people in your life. They have unlimited power, no brains,
Starting point is 00:36:55 and they charge all kinds of penalties and interest minute by minute by minute as you go along. Yeah, it's the one exception of the debt snowball, Sarah. We always say if there is IRS that it's moved to the very front. Okay, okay, that was my question. Or I would refinance it on a credit card or down to credit union, one of the two. Okay, get it cleared off. But don't put it on an IRS payment.
Starting point is 00:37:18 a plan unless you have no other options and then put it at the top of your debt snowball. Okay. I'm sure hope I'm right about the other thing, though, don't you? I certainly do. I didn't know that existed. I do feel it was definitely out of a left field because I've been doing quite well on my own with four kids, but that kind of threw me for a loop. Oh, that's so frustrating, Sarah.
Starting point is 00:37:43 I'm sorry. So you make $130,000 or you're doing what? I am a regional asset manager. What is he in jail for? Embezzlement. No way. That makes the story even better about you being an innocent spouse. It sure does.
Starting point is 00:38:02 The embezzlement boy is in jail. I mean, wow. That's got like drama on it. That's so, wow. I'm so sorry y'all have been through that. And he's the father of your four kids? Yes, sir. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:38:15 How old are you? I'm 41. Man, you've been through some hell, but you are strong. Well done, Sarah. You are strong and you are smart. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Doing the best I know how to do to take care of these kids and God is good.
Starting point is 00:38:29 And so we're just trying to make sure I honor him with the next right decision. You've been very wise and very, very, wow. That's hard. That's amazing. Amazing. Yeah, go to our folk and they'll help you, I think. I'm pretty sure that's going to work. Oh, hey, you know, sometimes this free advice around here is valuable.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Could save her $8,000. There you go. Glad she called in. Yeah. Sending all the good vibes your way, Sarah. You should charge a commission, yeah. All right, Jason's in New York. Hi, Jason.
Starting point is 00:39:02 What's up with you? Hey, Dave, how's it going, boss, man? Better than I deserve. What's up with you? I need your opinion, boss. I'm dealing with a situation at work, and I just wanted to see. of your expert opinion because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels
Starting point is 00:39:18 on paper. I have the dream job. I make $47 an hour. It's unlimited overtime. You have a pension 401K, benefits, health insurance, everything. And every time I explain my situation other people, they're like, oh, you're a fool.
Starting point is 00:39:34 I would never quit their job. I don't care what, I don't care what happened. I'll never quit. But I'm being isolated at work. I'm in a union environment. And every time I try to learn something new to progress. Because because of the union, I had to come to a department that I didn't really have a lot of experience in, which is dealing with the boilers in the powerhouse. Traditionally, my background comes from laboratory analytical environment,
Starting point is 00:40:01 so dealing with instrumentation in the lab, clean room environments, like centrifuge and incubators, blah, blah, blah. But because of the union, I had to come to this new environment where I'm dealing with boilers, and I thought, okay, all of these old technicians have been here for years. I'm like I'm going to have no problems. They're going to pair me up with this guy. I'm going to be going around learning things. That never happened. My manager never did any of that.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Yeah. They're trying to do as little work as possible. Yeah. Okay. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. You need to be doing what you're designed to do, and it's not that. But you also can't do that rashly because you're getting paid very well.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Yes, sir. And so, but I wouldn't use that as an excuse to stay stuck. But I would say, okay, what class is. classes have I got to take on the side? What have I got to learn to be able to move into a field that I love with people that are, you know, easier to work with, more fun to work with, and I'm learning, and I make $50 an hour. And so what's the target? And if it takes three years to work to that target, okay. But yeah, if you just walk out and quit and go make $20 an hour, no, that's not smart. So I'm going to stay where I am. And we're looking for an
Starting point is 00:41:14 exit plan. I'm going to stay where I am and use that wonderful income to fund my exit. Yes, sir. That makes sense? So when you're working with lab stuff, if you were in a non-union environment, that sounds like something that would be paying in the $50 range to me. Yes, sir, it would. And I would probably love it.
Starting point is 00:41:38 I thought that this job was going to be it. I thought I was going to retire here. But I don't like it here. Could you walk straight into that, or would you have to tool up to walk into that? I can walk straight into it. I've had all of something. If you've got to offer a $50 an hour, quit and go take the $50. The only reason I turned it down, Dave, because it was a contract assignment.
Starting point is 00:41:57 It wasn't full time. Okay. Well, then you just hadn't found the one yet. But, yeah, design your exit that's sweeter than where you are and exit. Statistics show that half of Americans don't have enough life insurance or they don't have any at all. I don't understand this, John. Why don't people want to take care of their family? They think they're going to die or something?
Starting point is 00:42:41 Well, I used to be one of those guys. I didn't even think about it. And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance. That's a gut punch. And you're telling me, for decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse. They've lost somebody important to them. Me too.
Starting point is 00:42:59 And they don't know what to do next. Me too. I mean, you're going to have a crisis here. And, you know, you got too. options while you're sitting and talking to a young widow. She's concerned about how she's going to invest all this money properly and not mess this up, or she's concerned how she's going to eat tomorrow. These are the two options. And take care of your dadgum family, man. Term life insurance can replace income, pay off dads, cover funeral expenses so your family can actually have the opportunity
Starting point is 00:43:23 to just be sad, to just miss you. That's exactly what it's supposed to be. It's saying I love you to your family, term life insurance. Jeff Zander and the team of Zander Insurance makes it easy and affordable. them personally for 25 years. They're the only people I trust. Go to Xander.com or call 800-356-4282. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author. My daughter is my co-host today. Mike is in Madison, Wisconsin. Hey, Mike, how are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Hey, so I've been listening to you for a couple of years.
Starting point is 00:44:16 I'm just starting to get serious now about the baby steps. I'm on baby step number two right now, and I want to get, I want to get gazelle intense. I want to get my debt paid off. I want to get out of debt, but I don't, I can't really do any sidework right now, and I can't really afford to make anything but bare minimum payments. So my question is... Why can't you do any sidework? I was in a motorcycle accident back in September.
Starting point is 00:44:45 So any of the skills I have outside of my normal job, I'm not really capable of doing right now. Are you able to do your job? Yeah, so I work in sales right now. So I have a desk job, which is no big deal. But any of my skills outside of that I could use to make. more money or more so like working on vehicles, doing yard work, handi man kind of stuff like that. Okay, so that's off the table. But lots of other side hustles, I mean, side hustles aren't all blue color. I'm aware of that. I just don't know what else to, what other side hustle I could take up other than that.
Starting point is 00:45:31 So what's your question about? Yeah, so I got a pretty decent-sized tax return this year. It's about $4,400. and I can start up my own side business basically off of that. So I want to know if it's a smart idea to do that and get some extra income rolling in for doing that or if I should just take the $4,400 and pay down some more of the debt. What's the business? The business would be like a trailer rental business.
Starting point is 00:46:04 So people would kind of like a glorified U-Haul essentially. You rent out a trailer for when people need it, kind of. No, I wouldn't do that. I don't mind the idea of taking a little bit of the 4,400 and using it to get something started, but it's more, let's just get your side hustle going as something that's white collar. But the problem is you could put this 4,400 into a trailer, and it never rinse one time. And that's very possible, actually. So you've got to consider all your downsides, all the possible.
Starting point is 00:46:41 negative scenarios, and if they don't work, then this idea doesn't work. So, but if you had an idea that you said, okay, I'm going to take 400 bucks or 500 bucks of the 4,400 and I'm going to get something going to get something going to immediately, the first month I'm going to make 500 back, or I'm going to make a thousand back immediately. And worst case is, I burned the 500. Well, that's, you know, we could try that. But this is a lot. Of course, the other thing is you need to adjust your W2 because you don't need to be getting a tax return that high, right? I've been listening to your show a lot, and I've heard you say that a bunch. I was curious what you were going to say when I said I got that big of a tax return.
Starting point is 00:47:20 No, you weren't. You knew what I was going to. You need to adjust your W-4. I'm not your W-2, you're W-4, so that. Mike, how much debt do you have? I have 12,000 in one car. I have 7,000 in another car. You married?
Starting point is 00:47:37 About 35. What's that? Are you married? Yes, I'm married. Oh, what does she make? She makes about a thousand dollars a month. She's our church secretary. Do you guys have kids?
Starting point is 00:47:52 No, no kids. I wonder if she could be doing something for more than a thousand bucks a month. How many hours does she work? Right now, she just bumped her hours up to about, I think it's going to be 32 a week. Okay, this is an absolutely horrendous. job? It's a sweet job. We do love church secretaries. We love church secretaries, but we shouldn't be abusing them by underpaying them. So, no, she needs to go get a job where she makes three times that immediately. What do you make? Okay. I make 77 a year. Okay. And in sales. And that's
Starting point is 00:48:29 your base? I am straight salary. I don't make commission. In sales? Correct. Yes. Okay. All right. How long you've been selling? I've been in sales for probably since I just got out of high school, and I've been with this company for about a year. Are you good at it? Yeah, I think. I think so. Well, I wonder if there's a job opportunity because when you're commission-based in a sales. You know, selling something else. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:59 That's not competitive. Selling is selling. And, I mean, if there's someone you could work for on the weekends, selling. and it's a product or a service that you're excited about and that you think is valuable, you know, you could probably make as much as you're making now on your side hustle if you got into something that was sweet. And you, again, you believe in, and it's a high-quality product, a good value. And, you know, you can make the calls on the weekends or evenings. Man, you can run your income way up as a side hustle.
Starting point is 00:49:38 That's what I would do. instead of buying a trailer, putting in the yard and hope somebody rents it, that definitely would go do that. Yeah. And really, she's being severely underpaid. Well, he said she just bumped up her hours to 32, so she may have just been doing 20. Still severely underpaid. $24,000 a year. Nobody dancing in the streets, I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:49:59 So, you know, that if she was. True. If she's making $2,000 a month because she was working halftime, the equivalent of, you know, that's still still not. Yep. And, uh, admin skills. See if there's like a dentist office or something, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:13 and you could go and do some admin or, you know, whatever, just something creative with those skills, uh, that yeah, easily could be making double. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:50:21 we, we, we have assistance and admins and people all through the building and we don't have anyone making anywhere near that low an income. Yeah. Not, not even close. Um,
Starting point is 00:50:32 we wouldn't be able to attract anybody. What, if we did. So yeah, I think that's where I would go. Wow. Wow. Riley is in Maryland. Hi, Riley. How are you?
Starting point is 00:50:42 Good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So my husband and I are expecting our first baby. Yay! We're very excited. I am really anxious to get to Baby Step 6. Good. So technically we're in D.B. Step 2. We have a $10,000 car loan with Russellmel alone, and we do have that in our savings. We actually have about $43,000 in our savings plus $19,000 in a CD. And do you have any debt other than the car? No, that's no credit card debt. What would be wrong with paying it off today?
Starting point is 00:51:29 I feel I feel I remember hearing you say before that when you're pregnant and you're broke but you're not broke you have $70,000. Okay. And if you pay off 10,000, you'll have 60,000. Yeah. I think you're okay. And then you're going to go on to baby step four tomorrow. Yeah. Your baby step three is done.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you're doing great. Yeah, you need to have baby step three covered if you're in stork mode, which is where you are. but you're there. I mean, you write a check, you're debt-free, you allocate the rest of this, some of the rest of this money for your emergency fund,
Starting point is 00:52:08 and then you've got some left-over. Yeah, we do say when you are expecting it on Baby Step 2 to pause everything and sell capoal money, because that's what we assume you only have Baby Step 1 done and you just have $1,000, which you want more of that,
Starting point is 00:52:19 more money when you're having a baby, but you guys have plenty of savings, so you're good. Because you're not really working the Baby Step, you're working your plan, and we're going to change it and put you on our plan. Hey, you guys, did you know,
Starting point is 00:52:42 that there are thousands of data brokers whose entire business is collecting and selling personal information, things like your home address, your phone number, and even your relatives' names. You guys, that is just crazy, but that is why I use Delete Me, because those companies that pull information from public records, social media, and all kinds of other places. Then suddenly, all that information shows up on random websites. And removing it yourself means going site by site, filling out four. and hoping they actually take it down. It takes hours and then it can even pop up somewhere else again.
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Starting point is 00:53:54 Are you sick and tired of working so hard but having nothing to show for it? Well, you don't have to live that way. Our every dollar budget app helps you find extra money every month, build you a personalized plan to get out of debt, become wealthy. In just 15 minutes, you're going to find thousands of dollars in hidden margin. The average is over 3,000. You'll feel like you got to raise. Don't live normal when you can live like no one else. start every dollar for free. Did I mention it's free in the app store or Google Play? Josh is in West Palm Beach, Florida. Hey, Josh, what's up? Hey, how are you, Dave? Thanks for having me on.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Sure. How can we help? So I recently went, I'm a lawyer and I recently went on my own professionally. I'm 30 years old. And during that time, you know, I was exploring kind of other things because I had a little bit of downtime. And I applied to be on a, popular political debate show on YouTube. And I didn't think I would actually be asked to go on it, but then I was. And then, realizing that I still have a lot to learn professionally, I, you know, was speaking to somebody and they are basically now, I've done three rounds of interviews to get a job at this other law firm. And now they're both happening at the same time. and I'm kind of concerned that if I go and I do this political debate show, that they will not want to hire me or retract an offer or something because, you know, I say something that they disagree with.
Starting point is 00:55:25 So I was wondering if you had any way to work with someone that is a different value system than you? Well, no. I mean, if they withdraw the offer because they disagree with you, they have a different value system than you. Yeah, that's true. But I guess really the reason that I called is because, you know, we're expecting our first child and, you know, I want to have a regular income. You know what I mean? So it feels like, you know, should I, you know, if I agree with some of their values, but not other of their values, do you know what I mean? And so it's just kind of like I'm a little bit worried about. Yeah. Let me just give you an example. Okay, let's just make up an example. Let's say that you went on the debate show and you agree. with everything in the Biden administration and you're left-leaning or a progressive or whatever we want to label that. And you take that position on the debate.
Starting point is 00:56:22 And somebody says, oh, I wouldn't ever hire anybody that does that because I'm a pro-Trump guy. You don't want to work there anyway. You'd be miserable. Yeah. Yeah, I think that you're right. And don't worry, that's not what I'd be saying. Well, I don't care. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:56:38 It works both ways, right? Right. It works both ways. Or I'll say this, though, is that to have an employer, I mean, I guess if it was, I guess something that you would disagree. Because I'm like, I know our team. We have a thousand people. And we all don't, we're not all on the same political spectrum. I mean, there's people that vote all different ways here. And so we would never fire someone for that. Oh, I'm kidding. Oh, Lord.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Yes. Yes. No, we would not fire someone for their political. No. No. And we would not hire you because we saw a YouTube thing. But I also, Josh, would not, I don't know if it's that big of a gamble. Because I don't know from a law perspective. I don't know what that entails in that career. I wouldn't put my career in jeopardy, though, in general, right, for a YouTube show.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Yeah, for real. So there's a part of me that I'm like. That's a good point too. But, you know, so no, I'm. From like a legal perspective, I don't know. what you would. No, I don't think. I'm not worried about the law. It's a matter of, you know, but here's the thing. If you have someone that you ascertain is so extreme on one side of the other that they will not entertain someone that thinks differently than them and they don't want to,
Starting point is 00:57:56 you don't want to work there anyway. That's right. That's right. Okay. And so, I mean, we laugh and say, you know, Reginald when I graduated from Tennessee and, you know, we laugh and say, we've accidentally hired a few Alabama fans. You know, I mean, so, but, you know, I mean, But we let me, there's Bobby. He's got his Alabama hat right there in the booth right now. And so, you know, we hired him anyway. And he's been here like, God, a decade or more. We just now discovered he's Alabama guy. Get it off the camera. But that's the thing. That's the kind of thing. That's the way we think about it around here is we just, we're we're not going to all get in a big fight and we're not going to all spend our lives being mad about that. But but but and so I don't want to work for a firm lawyer or. otherwise that feels that way. On the other hand, aside from that, I also don't know what the upside is. What is gained by going on this?
Starting point is 00:58:50 There's more, there's all downside and no upside. Yeah. What is it you get for doing it? Are they giving you $200,000 to appear? No. You know, and you're putting a digital tattoo out into the world that you're going to have to live with. And we know how that feels.
Starting point is 00:59:07 That's our job. Yeah, we put a digital tattoo out every day. Stay away, Josh. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah. No, I mean, it's, but, but. But something that polarizing in today's world, I'm like, I don't know. Why? Just not, yeah, not worth it. It's not worth it. You know, I mean, like, for instance, during the presidential election, we reached out to Kamala Harris's camp and offered to interview her. And we also reached out to President Trump's
Starting point is 00:59:33 camp and offered to interview him. She declined and he took us up on it. we did the Trump interview. And I endorsed Trump, but I, but he's not Jesus. I don't worship at his feet. So, uh, which also upsets the Trumpers. So, um, you know, I mean, it's Callie, some of you people really need to slow down notch. But the, um, but that, that's kind of where, who I would want to be around. In other words. And so somebody's willing to listen to both sides, kind of curious and I like debates and that kind of stuff. But really, it's got nothing to do with your career. That had to do with my career. It had to do with the Ramsey brand and what we're doing here. And, you know, this is what we do for a living. But what you're doing for a living is
Starting point is 01:00:16 law. And doing this has nothing to do with that. So there's no upside. So I probably wouldn't do it for that reason. So, yeah, there's no upside. You know, I remember the first time I heard something like that, Rachel, that line of thinking, that decision-making paradigm, I was in a sales class. I was 18 years old. And now this is 1978. Oh, take us back. Okay. No, I mean, it's a different world.
Starting point is 01:00:44 There were not non-smoking sections. Oh, yeah. There was just not non-smoking. Every restaurant you could smoke in. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Every airplane. That was into the 90s.
Starting point is 01:00:56 Every plane. Every airplane you could smoke in. Okay. So smoking was like today nobody does smoke. I mean, it's unusual to see somebody with cigarette today. Yeah. But in those days, every body smelled like cigarettes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:09 You know, and so, but that guy in that sales thing, he said, okay, how many of you smoke? And most people raised their hands. I didn't smoke. I never have, but I'm not mad about it. I just never did. And he said, how many people smoke and a bunch of people raised their hand? He goes, how many people in here think you've made a sale because you smoked? No one raised their hand.
Starting point is 01:01:28 He said, how many of you think you might have lost a sale because you smoked? A bunch of people raise their hand. That's a valid thing. Because someone that doesn't smoke doesn't want to be around, the smell like it or something? So the point is there's no, there's only downside. There's no upside. Same thing here.
Starting point is 01:01:43 You know, what are you going to, what good is going to come of this other than you get to voice your opinion and have the thrill and the fun of it. Yeah, I was going to say, have a moment of kind of a, yeah,
Starting point is 01:01:52 that's cool. They asked me to be on this panel and. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's not worth it. I would too. And you have a new baby coming,
Starting point is 01:02:01 Josh, too. You know what he means? I'm like, just enjoy your life. Yeah. Don't muddle it. I would not turn down the debate because of future employment, though. I would turn it down because I don't know if there's a, I don't see an upside.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Yeah, that's fair. I don't see any upside. That's fair. That's why I would turn it down. And I'm tying back to what you said a minute ago. That's how I got on that. Yeah. Side note.
Starting point is 01:02:28 Did you watch, did you all watch the JFK Love Story? No. The series. Anyways, based in the 90s, obviously, because you're not. JFK Jr. It's about when he died. Anyways, they are smoking all through that series. But I reminded it, I was like, it's so 90s.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Like, you know. Really? Okay. Yes. Yes. I remember when they had no smoking sections, which I always thought was funny. Yes. Like the smoke couldn't jump across the section.
Starting point is 01:02:53 But they're all smoking in the restaurants and stuff. And I was like, Holly, I forgot about. It's the same stupid thing. It's like you couldn't go down the aisle in the grocery store because a little COVID might jump on it. It was the same thing. Same dumb thing. It's like, It's in the air.
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Starting point is 01:04:50 go to net suite.com slash Ramsey for a free product tour. That's net suite.com slash Ramsey. Today's question of the day is brought to you by YREFI. If you've fallen behind on your private student loans, stop making payments. It can feel like every door is closed. But YREFI helps borrowers explore low, fixed rate refinancing options that fit your budget. Go to Y-R-R-E-F-I-com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey might not be in all states. Today's question comes from Samantha in Wisconsin. She said, my husband has two daughters and I have two sons from previous marriages.
Starting point is 01:05:42 We married later in life when our kids were already adults. How do we structure our wills to make sure that the living spouse is taking care of first, but the children still get their fair share when the spouse passes. We want to ensure that our kids are left with their share of each parent's estate, but we also don't want the surviving spouse to lose any assets. Would getting a life insurance policy for the value of 50% of assets be a good option to leave to our individual children so both sides get a fair inheritance? Oh.
Starting point is 01:06:15 I would not do life insurance. No. No. What you can do is pretty simple. simple. And you sit down with an estate planning attorney and you got to map out the numbers as much as the concept. But often what we see people do in this situation is the money is left in a trust. The terms of the trust are that the surviving spouse gets to live out of and use the trust. upon death, the trust is split into the two trusts, or you could have two trusts at death,
Starting point is 01:06:52 either one, and both of them are designed to support the surviving spouse, and then upon death of that spouse, then each of your two kids get theirs, your two, yours, his two kids get his, and so forth. So you can just, and if it's in a trust, it can't go anywhere. So if, in a worst case scenario. So let's just say, okay, you've amassed between the two of you, a million dollars in a 401k, okay, and you die. That money's left into a trust, and the money and your wife is left behind, she gets the benefit of that trust as long as she's alive.
Starting point is 01:07:35 And so she gets the income off of it, and she's allowed to use the money under certain circumstances other than just the income medical event or something like that and the house could go into a trust and going to the same trust everything could go into that same trust and she gets to use all of that while she's alive so if that million dollars creates a you know a hundred thousand dollar a year income she gets to use all that and she could use some of the million if under certain circumstances that you decide in the trust but she can't just change and decide i'm going to leave the whole million to my kids and cut out your kids. Could she use all the million and there's nothing left for the kids?
Starting point is 01:08:14 Well, if you put it in the trust that she was able to use it, she could use it up. But if you left the value of the house in there and the money in there in one lump sum, and she's got the benefit of that, she's going to be fine, or you've got the benefit, you're going to be fine. Even if she remarried, okay, she still only gets the benefit of that, is bound by the terms of the trust. She can't, if it's only in a will, she could change the will and say, I'm not going to leave it to those kids.
Starting point is 01:08:46 But upon the death of this, in this scenario, the dad, the dad, his grown kids don't get anything until the wife dies. Exactly. Okay. Exactly. Or you could say they get half $200,000 and the rest of it goes into a trust. Yep. And then when she dies, they get the rest of it.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Exactly. They get their portion of the rest of it. but the trust cannot be undone by the surviving spouse like they get remarried and the new stepfather is a jerk and he wants to scarf all the money and open a pizza place right or something and he uses up all your inherit the kid's inheritance yeah totally and it's all stepfather scam artist guy right and so you got a Cinderella story right and not the good part the evil stepmother's part of Cinderella right so the if you've got all if it's just in a will, she could change the will and cut out the guy's kids that died. But if it's all set up in a
Starting point is 01:09:42 trust, it's very difficult to do that. So I think you can sit down and just say, okay, what are the terms of the trust, how much goes into the trust, and the terms could easily be you get to live off the income, and you can use some of the principle for various reasons. Yeah. And so forth. and be very careful about crazy stuff in there because it comes back to bite you. It doesn't age well. Like 30 years later, the crazy thing just looks like crazy. 30 months later, it's kind of like, oh, I kind of understand why he did that. So here's an example.
Starting point is 01:10:18 Don't make it complicated. Okay, they're 50 years old and he dies and she's got the house in a trust, but she can never sell the house. That would be crazy. because she's going to live to 80, 30 freaking years. The house is already 20 years old. So you're going to have her in a 50-year-old house? No, she needs to be able to sell that house.
Starting point is 01:10:36 But if she does, the replacement house has to go into the trust or something like that. So you have to give it some flexibility in there. For that person. You can never do. That stuff doesn't age well. You know, you look out there 30 years and you've got a mess on your hands. But the answer to the overall question is get with an estate planner, and I think you can fix all of this with a trust or trust.
Starting point is 01:10:56 however you want to set it up. And that's a good way to get at it. John's in Myrtle Beach. Hey, John, how are you? I'm good. I appreciate you guys taking my call today, thank you. Sure. So I have an issue, difficult time talking finances with my fiancé without it, you know,
Starting point is 01:11:19 turning somewhat emotional. So I'm looking for good practical suggestions and how I can, you know, inspire her to kind of look at money differently along with me, you know. What are going to be wrong up? How old are you all? 35. Is the wedding set, the date? No, sir, it's not.
Starting point is 01:11:39 And part of the reason is I'd like to have the same money goals, or at least similar enough that this won't be an ongoing fight. Yeah, it needs to be or don't get married. Yeah. Because it's the number one cause a divorce. And it's the number one cause of marriage misery. is constantly being at odds with your spouse. Yeah, what does the fight look like?
Starting point is 01:12:01 What's the conflicts look like? What do you bring up and what does she push back against? Sure. So I've been having at the baby steps on my end with my debt. And, you know, I'll ask her sometimes, you know, how is your credit cards looking? Have you been paying on them? You know, what's your contribution to the household
Starting point is 01:12:24 going to be like soon. Because I take all the response. We do live together. We've been together 10 years. We've been together a long time. We do have two kids. So more or less, we're married. We just haven't done the paperwork.
Starting point is 01:12:39 But so as we start to discuss these things and I start to ask her questions, she gets emotional. She gets upset. Right. Almost as if, well, I think she feels guilty and I'm not sure, but she does get upset. Sometimes she'll cry. And we don't yell or bicker back and forth. I just think that she feels a little guilty and habits are hard to break. And maybe she may feel that I have resentment maybe towards her, which I don't.
Starting point is 01:13:10 And I try to be careful with how I speak to her and things. then. But it becomes difficult to have the conversations when she's upset. So usually the conversation kind of dies at that point. Oh, man. Okay. Well, the reality is, yeah, you have two kids together. You've been living together for 10 years.
Starting point is 01:13:31 You're married. So regardless of- We should just get married. Yeah, we can't get on the same page or not. You are. So, like, just go ahead and tie the knot. It's happening. It's happening.
Starting point is 01:13:39 Yeah, it's happening. So then what I would, yeah, what I would dig into, Josh is number one you the way you're phrasing the questions is a lot of pointing at her you know what are you doing are you paying on the bill you you you you you need to be back on you John of hey here's what I'm feeling this is the story that I'm making up in my head that you feel like that there's resentment um towards me um I'm making up a story that you are shut down emotionally and if I press any harder in the conversation you're going to continue to shut down and we're not going to get anywhere. Like, right? Like, to
Starting point is 01:14:13 be able to explain where you are is going to be really, really important in this. And she's got to, I mean, girl, she's 35, too? Yeah. Okay. We got to either get into like a good counselor and dig some of all that stuff up of what's going on. But her way of doing
Starting point is 01:14:29 conflict, not great. Not great. I would suggest good pre-marriage counseling. Just now. Or marriage counseling and get married. immediately. I mean, quit it. Jeez, man. Raven is in Raleigh, North Carolina. Hi, Raven. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?
Starting point is 01:15:15 So my mom is financially irresponsible and depends financially on her mom. And I'm just kind of worried that at some point she's going to be depending on me. How do I kind of prepare for that and set boundaries when I need to you about it? How old are you? I'm 22. Okay. I wouldn't worry about it right now. Okay. I really wouldn't. I'd worry about something else.
Starting point is 01:15:43 There's other stuff to worry about. How old is your mother? Yes. She's about 50. Okay. She doesn't work? Yeah. No, she doesn't work at all.
Starting point is 01:15:54 Is she married? No. No. Is she disabled in some way? She says she is having like an undiagnosed disability, so she hasn't been able to get it diagnosed or, you know, get disability for it. So, um, okay, don't laugh. Is it like a like a, like a, no, no, no, I'm telling Dave not to laugh, Raven, you can laugh from others. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:16:23 I thought we called that lazy. Is it like an immune disorder? Like what? It is. It's an autoimmune disease. That could be real. nations, does. Has she had?
Starting point is 01:16:35 Okay, so anyway, back to your question. No, I, I'm very suspect of that, to say the least. I think the thing is this. Number one, I would pick up Henry Cloud's book Boundaries and read it. Okay. And that begins to teach you and prepare you intellectually for how difficult it's going to be to set boundaries with her. No one has ever told her no.
Starting point is 01:17:10 Yeah. And you're going to be the first one, and it's going to be real difficult. Okay, so I just want you to go build a wonderful life for you, and then if you've got millions of dollars and you want to help her out with some groceries or something that's fine, but what you don't want to do is to take her on as your responsibility, because she's not your responsibility. She's 50-year-old woman that won't work. Okay? And so, and so, and she had every opportunity to do that, and that's what you're observing. You called it financially a responsibility. You didn't call it a medical issue. And so, and you were right. So, um, anyway, when the time comes and
Starting point is 01:17:54 you have to set a boundary, I'm going to go ahead and tell you it's going to be one of the most painful things you've ever done in your life. Yeah. Because, Anyone that tells your mother no does not get a good reaction from your mother? No. And my grandma is coming up on age, and we will kind of have that discussion. So I'm feeling like it's going to come up pretty close, and I don't know. Well, I mean, when your granny passes and your mom has to figure out how to do life, you're just going to have to tell your mom, I'm 23, and I can't do this for you.
Starting point is 01:18:27 You're like the old woman. You're supposed to figure this out. I can't do it. Today, you don't have the option of helping her. You don't have the money. But let's say it's 10 years from now and you're 32 and you've put together a million dollars listening to the stuff we teach and you're able to help. But still, you're not required to help. You still are going to have to tell her now.
Starting point is 01:18:51 In any case where she actually has to take responsibility for her life, she's going to be unhappy with the people that tell her that. So that's the thing I want you to prepare you for. is no trick phrase, there is no amount of money, there is no angle or strategy that you can take that's going to make her not be pissed. There's a hundred percent chance your mom's going to be pissed. So you might as well get ready for that. Okay. The only way she's not going to be is if you become as dysfunctional as your grandmother and you take in this woman who won't work and you continue to feed her and take care of her and she does to do nothing more. And she walks around whining, acting like there's something wrong with her and there's not. She's just lazy. And so that is a
Starting point is 01:19:41 disability, but it's a different kind. And so that's what you're facing. And I'm sorry for that. But anytime you have to set boundaries with a boundaryless person, the thing you have to brace yourself for is the emotional pain because you're going to be told how horrible. a daughter you are and you're not. You're going to be told you're crazy and you're not. You're going to be told everything's wrong with you and you're not. But you're still going to feel those arrows as they come at you because they sting. They hurt.
Starting point is 01:20:15 And so just get ready for that. There's no way to avoid it except to join in the crazy talk and join in the crazy land. And we're not going to join in crazy land. And so the only other, then the thing that's going to happen is a hundred percent chance your mom's not going to react well for that. She's a travel agent for guilt trips. And she's going to pull out every card in the book to get, you know, get money out of you and everything else and anything she could. Well, I raised you.
Starting point is 01:20:42 Where were you when I was feeding you? Well, that's like your job. You had a kid. That's where I was. And so all that. And so. But there's no amount of talking. There's no amount of words that are going to fix this lady until she comes to herself and says,
Starting point is 01:20:59 I'm ready to get better. I'm ready to get better at this thing called life. And you can't make her do that at 22. And I don't want you to worry about it another day. I do want you to brace yourself for when the time comes. It's going to be painful. She's not going to go well. So pick up Henry Cloud's book, Boundaries.
Starting point is 01:21:19 You will go, oh, that's me. I know that guy. Yeah. That's who that is. That's how that works. Jay is with us. Jay's in Denver. Hi, Jay.
Starting point is 01:21:28 How are you? Hello, I'm as good as a candy, Dave. Thank you for having me. Sure. What's up? I have been raised with the silver spoon in my whole life. I never had to work a day. And I am realizing that my trust was about to end in about a year next May or June.
Starting point is 01:21:48 And I have never worked. My trust was got to my college, which is also going to end in May next year. I'm saying to be an accountant and I'm getting really nervous. So I'm sorry, you're getting a degree in accounting? Yes. Okay. And how old are you? 23.
Starting point is 01:22:10 Okay. And have you, are you struggling? Were you left a trust fund because you have a disability or a special need? No. Okay. No. No, I have been given a trust fund through my background. I understand.
Starting point is 01:22:27 Your parents were wealthy, but it wasn't because you had some kind of a need. It was just they were wanting to bless you with the money. Yes. Okay, that's fine. I just want to make the distinction. So, okay, so the money ran out, and now you're going to be like an adult and get a job, huh? Yeah, I am. And my only, my main worry is that my work ethic, I'm really worried about my work ethic,
Starting point is 01:22:50 and especially I've ever had worked before. Yeah. If employees are. If you've got a work ethic or you wouldn't be getting out of school. school. You don't graduate and have no work ethic. You have a work ethic that calls you to study and go to class. That's a work ethic. You did not work that a job yet, but so of a lot of people that went to college that didn't work when they were in college. That's not that unusual. So I love that you're worried about it. When do you graduate?
Starting point is 01:23:22 About May of next year. Cool. Okay. So what would be wrong with taking a job right now and working like all the time? See, that's the thing. I'm an F1 legal residence agent, so I'm only allowed to get searching jobs that are related to campus. And so I have been applying to jobs, and I've been contact people with my resume.
Starting point is 01:23:46 We're just trying to get my confidence built by having a job, by holding out a job. I'm doing that. I'm still nervous. I mean, you're able to start a business on the side, aren't you? Is that legal? Yeah, go buy a leaf blower. Rich people are afraid of leaves.
Starting point is 01:24:08 You know, get a lawnmower. Go buy a lawnmower and start cutting grass. He said, is that legal? Of course, it's legal to cut grass. And it's definitely legal to blow leaves. Is it something about an F1? I have no idea. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:22 I'm no idea what you're facing. But the thing, the antidote to what you're worried about is step right straight into it head first. I'm worried I don't have work ethic. So go prove you have one. Go work at the bookstore at the, university campus. Go work all the time. And you'll be fine, Jay.
Starting point is 01:24:39 I think, honestly, there's a lot of 23-year-olds that graduate college and they've never really worked before and they had to get their first adult job and all of it. So I think it's become dramatized in your head. I think you're going to do fine. But just, yeah, start working somewhere now. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio. I am Dave Ramsey. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author.
Starting point is 01:25:19 My daughter is my co-host today. Tiffany is with us in Chicago. Hi, Tiffany. How are you? Hi, I'm both. Great. How can we help? So the reason why I'm calling in is because I got accepted into an Ivy Plus school for a very competitive, very niche graduate program. And I was offered a partial scholarship. And so even with the scholarship, I'm looking at about $100,000 a year for a student. loans. My issue is where I live currently is like a hub for what I want to do. So like if I was working tech, but I lived in Silicon Valley. But my issue is I can't move due to the nature of my husband's job. So if I don't get a job here, I can't get a job anywhere, if that makes sense. And so now that I've gone to this process and I'm accepted and everything's kind of stinking in, I just don't know. know if it's feasible to take on so much debt for something that isn't exactly guaranteed,
Starting point is 01:26:29 if that makes sense. Okay. So your graduate degree would be in what? So it'd be in the medical field. You'd be specific. So it would be in prosthetics. Okay. And so this is a master's?
Starting point is 01:26:50 Yes. So a two-year program? Yes, that's correct. Okay. And it's local to you. I thought you said you were in Silicon Valley. My screen says you're in Chicago. I'm so confused.
Starting point is 01:27:04 No, no, no. So I'm in Chicago, but the nature of my job, it's huge here in Chicago. So it's like the equivalent of if I was working tech in Silicon Valley. Oh, I see. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you're in the geographic location to do this.
Starting point is 01:27:24 I got you. Yes, that's correct. And your husband's job is in Chicago, and what does your husband make? So he's a doctor. Okay, and you're doing what today? I am an office manager. Okay, all right. So you're going to enter a completely different field due to getting this master's.
Starting point is 01:27:47 I don't know much about that field. Is a master's required to end? enter that area? Yes. Why? Is there licensing? Yeah, so there's a lot of like board certifications, licensing, that sort of thing involved. And the licensing requires a master's?
Starting point is 01:28:07 Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. Well, all I can tell you is in general, we have never in 30 plus years of being on the air told someone to take out a student loan and we're not going to start with you. so no, I would not do it. But then I have to stop and think about, okay, what are some workarounds to get you to where you want to go? So, and in general, if you can get the license, if you get the masters, you can pass the licensing, regardless of where the master's came from. And if you get the licensing and the certification, you can get the job, regardless of where the masters came from.
Starting point is 01:28:47 there are almost zero jobs in America that they hire you based on where you went to school. They hire you based on your knowledge and your capability that you get by becoming educated. But regardless of where you went to school, like you said, your husband's a doctor. No one walks into his office and says, hey, Doc, where'd you go to school before they ask how if he can help him or not? Yeah. And my issue with that, too, is so there's only four schools. do what I want to do. And I applied to all of them, and I only got into one.
Starting point is 01:29:23 Yeah, that doesn't mean I'm going to go $200,000 in debt. Yeah. I'm going to find another way to do this, or I'm going to do something else. But there's not a – you are paying for something that does not have a return on investment when you pay for an IV plus, okay? You're paying for the famous name, and the famous name has no benefit in the marketplace. None. No one hires people to do prosthetics based on where they went to school. No one walks into an oncologist and says, I got cancer, doc, but wait a minute, where'd you go to school? No one asks their lawyer where they went to school. They just ask, can you help me? I've got a thousand employees. I've never hired one based on where they went to school. So we've got to find another way to not spend $200,000 on something that has zero return. Oh, and going in debt to do it. It's just unwise. So you've created this narrative, this world that says there's only one possible way to do what I want to do, and it's going $200,000 in debt to do it.
Starting point is 01:30:31 And all that means is you have not looked at enough options yet. You've not found another way to do this yet. And I don't know enough about your world to give you a practical advice other than to say, you need to try some other doors on this. Tiffany, how much does your husband make a year? I think $175,000. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And so even if you were paying cash for it, I would tell you not to do, not to pay an extra $200,000 to go to this particular school. Yeah. Okay. But you're not paying cash for it. And so it's just like, absolutely don't do this. Please don't do this. But please rewrite this narrative and say, there's got to be another way for me to get at this. And I promise you, if there's only one possible way for you to do this and it's through going. $200,000 in debt, that's God telling you don't do it. Don't do it. You're supposed to do something
Starting point is 01:31:29 else with your life. I don't know what it is. But the last thing you need to do is follow through on this. It's a bad idea. So back up, say, okay, how can I get this certification? Does the, is the master's really required? Now, there are a few things that require. If it's in the medical field, I bet so. It's, I don't know. I don't know anything about it. I truly don't know. Yeah. Yeah. But the first thing I would do is question everything. I'm going to rebel, right, against the system. You know, here's one you can't win, okay? You can't become a licensed psychologist for doing therapy in any state without a master's.
Starting point is 01:32:11 Okay? That one you can't fix. But there's a lot of places you can get the master's in psychology, right? That's right. That's right. And so, including online for that matter. And so hers is a very narrow, much more narrow field than that. And I don't know if it's an absolute requirement or if it's just highly suggested or looked upon.
Starting point is 01:32:33 If it's highly suggested to look upon, I don't give a crap. I do not have a master's. I do not have a PhD. Well, what's hard when you're in such a narrow field like that, naturally your options are going to be more narrow. So you may have to even expand bigger, Tiffany, and ask, okay, why do I love this? could I do something in a similar vein that still fulfills me in that way, but it's going to look different?
Starting point is 01:32:58 I don't know. So you may have to get a little creative if it doesn't work, because if it's that niche, there's only four schools and all of it. One of the guys that comes to Entree leadership, they own a prosthetics store. They do the fittings. And I've sat and talked to him. I do not remember any of this out of that.
Starting point is 01:33:17 But maybe I just didn't know what I was talking about. He probably didn't ask him. It'd be interesting. I truly don't know. But I do know the concept. The concept is I'm not paying $200,000 for something that has no ROI. Hey, guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next.
Starting point is 01:34:07 Now, you can get that same kind of help any time with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision, or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to Ramsey Solutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's Ramsey Solutions.com. Buying or selling a home is a big deal with all the clickbait and bad information out there.
Starting point is 01:34:51 TikTok experts on real estate. Lord, help us. You need real information. We're here to help you make the latest trends easy to understand. Median home prices are up a little last month. They generally go up a little every month. Pretty typical, especially here in the busy spring season. Mortgage interest rates are down a 15-year fixed right now.
Starting point is 01:35:11 It's 5.22. That's down from 6% and some change. Yeah, it's jumped down almost a full point. To learn more about housing market trends and get free tools to help you buy or sell with confidence, go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash market or click the link in the show notes. Sarah is with us in Portland, Oregon. Hey, Sarah, what's up? Hi, it's a pleasure to speak with you. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:35:33 Certainly. How can we help? I'd like to ask, how can I help my adult daughter understand how much money she is wasting on specialty coffee? Oh, you're not going to like my answer. Well, she is graduating from college in 30 days, and I know that it won't be our place to offer financial advice unless asked after that. But for the next 30 days, we'd like to give whatever advice we can. I mean, it's too late. Four years she's been in college buying Starbucks and you didn't say nothing. No.
Starting point is 01:36:09 I mean, in 30 days, you want to fix four years of damage? No, I mean. Of damage? It's just a starboard. I know. It's such a bad habit. Financially, it's... Well, does she have the money?
Starting point is 01:36:22 Is this lady, what's she graduating in? She'll have a degree in landscape architecture. Okay. Oh, great. And is she a good person? Is she of good character? She's a great person. She's smart.
Starting point is 01:36:37 She's incredibly talented. Her only sin is specialty coffee? It's, I mean, it's not a sin. It's just that she's going to be starting her independent financial life. And I don't think she realizes how much it is. Yeah, when she starts writing a check. Yeah, she'll start to feel it. Yeah, when she looks down and sees her Starbucks,
Starting point is 01:36:55 Bill, she's going to go, oh my, this is wild. Yeah. Yeah, these days you don't look down at the, every expense. No, no, no. But if it shows up in her budget, okay. So this is fun. Or her checking account starts going down. You're fun.
Starting point is 01:37:11 You're fun. Because you know that you can't do anything about this is the bottom line, and you're right. And I personally wouldn't bring up the coffee ever again if I were you. But what I would do is say this. I would say, hey, you're getting ready to graduate. and one of the things I wish we had taught, I've done a better job teaching you during the last four years, was to do a detailed written budget.
Starting point is 01:37:36 And so as you come out, I really want you to pick up this every dollar app. It's free and start doing a detailed written budget for your sake. And I wish I'd done a better job making sure you did that all along, but I didn't. And so it's my last parting advice. Here's what will happen when she does that, Sarah. that budget will, the categories in a budget when you actually do it and actually live on it, if you can get somebody to do that, the categories yell at you. And the specialty coffee will yell at her and go, I just spent 300 bucks this month on coffee.
Starting point is 01:38:07 This is crazy. And the numbers will just yell at you. If you're doing the actual budget. And if she doesn't, she's going to be getting a starting salary somewhere. And she's going to have to learn how to live on her salary. And I think through trial and error's there, she's going to learn, okay, I can't eat at such and such restaurants weekly. I have to cut that back.
Starting point is 01:38:27 Gosh, this coffee is like, I'm spending so much here. I got to probably pull back here. I think it's going to be some trial and error. Or Sarah, God forbid, she has the money for her specialty coffee, and that's what she wants to do. And if it's not illegal or immoral, there's a value system there, right? Like, there's things people spend money on that I roll my eyes at, like two-year-old birthday parties that look like wedding receptions. I'm like, why would you?
Starting point is 01:38:50 Why? You know, I roll my eyes at that. but it's not wrong that people do that if they have the money. And it's not your money. And it's not my money. People look at people buying cars. Like, I would never spend X on a car. But if you have the money, like, that's what they want to spend their money on.
Starting point is 01:39:04 So there is a point that it's going to be what she values. I think if you have a daughter graduating from college and she is a great person and the biggest flaw you can find in her is this, I would just step back and say, thank you, Jesus. and say nothing and say, I did a great job. I have a great daughter. And if she spends some money on coffee, I don't agree with. So what? I would just step back from this and let it go. I would encourage a budget because a budget will point out to anyone of you, anybody doing a budget, but the numbers yell at you. Yes. And this is smart. This is dumb. Well, and to your point, Sarah, what your opportunity costs of where money can go, right? So even just throw up. throwing in a coffee a day in an investment calculator and just see what that would cost you, right?
Starting point is 01:39:56 And again, not like you'll never go to not buy coffee, but you start to see where your money has power and where you can use it wisely. But again, buying coffee is, you know, if that's what you want to do, that's fine. I saw this question come up on the screen earlier, and it took me back, and you've never heard this story. But my grandparents were in the Great Depression, of course, and they used the coffee grounds three days. They would reuse.
Starting point is 01:40:24 They would reuse them in a percolator. Oh, yeah. Okay, they put them in a percolator and make a pot of coffee. The next day, left them in there, make a pot of coffee. And every time you do that, it's weaker and weaker. I was going to say by the third day, is it even coffee. This is hilarious. The third day, it was so weak and so tepid that they called it coffee tea.
Starting point is 01:40:44 Oh, gosh. It was not really, I mean, it was just nasty. Just water. And so when your mother and I get married. and we use fresh grounds every morning, they felt like about us, like Sarah feels about her daughter. How wasteful you are. How wasteful we are, because we make fresh coffee every day and didn't reuse the grounds and have coffee tea the third day.
Starting point is 01:41:09 Yeah, yeah. But in that, that's so funny. It's just a perspective, right? Yeah, it is. It's just, but I mean, I wasn't raised in the Great Depression. and Sarah's daughter was raised in Portland, Oregon, which is kind of the home of specialty coffee. One of the homes of specialty coffees. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:26 Yeah. And so it's a coffee town for sure. Mm-hmm. And, you know, it's, yeah, that's interesting. But what a great discussion. Yeah, it's funny. That's great. I will say this, though.
Starting point is 01:41:42 I want to go back to that other thing on every dollar. everyone start doing your written budget, your detailed budget, because I will say it again, money, the numbers will, if you actually look down at it, you will feel stupid when you're doing something stupid. I mean, the numbers will just look at you and go, that's stupid. The numbers will go, that's why. And when you start chunking money over like in your emergency fund when you're working on Baby Step 3 and you see that growing or you're chunking money on the debts, then you see the debts start to go away,
Starting point is 01:42:12 the numbers will tell you, and you'll start to feel good. good about yourself. The numbers will say you're smart, you're smart, you're smart, you're smart. And that thing talks to you. It really does. It talks to you and it tells you, you know, you're acting like a child or you're acting like an adult. And that's silly to spend that. And I, you know, I remember one time I sat down in a financial peace university group and this guy 100 years ago and this guy says, I figured out when we did our first month's budget, why we don't have anything in retirement, we're spending $1,200 a month on eating out. just on restaurants.
Starting point is 01:42:45 Oh, yeah. And this was back in the day. That'd be like $2,000 a month or $3,000 a month now on restaurants, right? He goes, I figured out why we don't have a retirement. We've been eating it, you know, and the numbers are telling you. They're looking at you going, you're dumb. This is dumb. You're consuming all of this money, and you're not doing any investments.
Starting point is 01:43:05 You're not doing any generosity. And the numbers, if you can get her to do a budget, Sarah, if her specialty coffee is out of line as a percentage of her overall income and world, it will speak up for itself and tell her. Yep, she's going to be able to see it. And you will never have to say it. Because I don't think you're going to do any good saying it, by the way. No, I agree.
Starting point is 01:43:26 Yeah, she's going to say, none you, mom. None your business, mom. She's going to say, mom. What are you talking about? Hey, mom. No, in the budget, too, the reframing of, you know, having your money work for you. That is such a big mindset shift for people to say, what can I, this money is here for me to use as a tool to create a life that I love. What do I do with this to create a life that I love?
Starting point is 01:43:51 And stability and peace gives you some of that, gives you life you love. And that's the investing and the generosity. You're doing the basic things and making sure that those things are covered. And then anything above that, then you're able to say, okay, what do I want to use this for? And if she wants to a lot coffee in there, that's great. That's her luxury item. But yeah, but making sure that, again, that it's in a perspective and in a reality of her overall budget that makes sense. Yeah, that's fun. Good call, Sarah. That's interesting. You're fun.
Starting point is 01:44:19 When I talk to people on The Ramsey Show, 90% of the problems I hear come down to one thing, not having a plan. They're not living on a budget. They have no idea where their money's going. Money is just happening to them instead of them happening to their money. And guys, that is so normal. But it doesn't have to be. normal for you. And that's why I want you to go download our Every Dollar budget app. Every dollar not only helps you tell your money where to go with a budget, it also builds a plan to free up extra money so you can pay debt off faster and start building wealth. And the best part, your plan is completely personalized to your life. It's the same advice that you would get if you call the show. And it's right in your pocket. So don't keep living normal. Go download the Every Dollar app. Answer, a few questions and get your plan today. So a couple weeks ago, Rachel and I were on the air and a lady called us with a devastating, life-threatening question, not really, I'm being sarcastic.
Starting point is 01:45:51 And Rachel and her bonded immediately. And her name is Rachel too, which is great. Her name is Rachel as well. And we put the thing on social media, a little clip of it on the real, and it's gotten like a million and a half or something views already. And it's going to be four or five me and by the time I finish talking about it. So we're going to play a little bit of that clip to give you guys a little bit of idea of what the conversation was about. My question is, is there ever a time in Baby Step 2 that it would be appropriate to cash flow like a life event or a once in a lifetime experience?
Starting point is 01:46:23 What would that be? So it would be to go see several good childhood friends of mine in Las Vegas named Kevin, Nick, Howie, A.J. and Brian at the sphere in August. The backstreet boys. Yes. Their childhoods were. Shoot. I'm so glad you called on this day, Rachel.
Starting point is 01:46:40 You know Rachel's been twice. And the call went on from there, and Rachel was crying because she had to tell her in Baby Step 2. No, I don't think I actually said it. We decided it would be a fun thing to follow up with the other Rachel that called in about this, and she's in Indianapolis. Hey, Rachel, are you there on the line? I am. Hey, well, something weird happens since you called. called in. So somebody went into my DMs and I don't look at them. Our social media guys look at them, but they
Starting point is 01:47:13 recognize the guy. And he wants to come on the air and talk to you. Kevin is his name. Hey, Kevin, how are you? Hey, guys. How's it going? Good to have you, brother. Thanks for being with us. So, Rachel, this is Kevin from the backstreet boys. This is your childhood friend, Rachel. Oh my goodness. Is this real right now? This is real. You're not being punked. It is a dear friend of mine shared the clip with me. A buddy of mine who's an actor, Big Rye, Ryan McPartland, shared the clip with me. I saw it and I immediately posted on the clip in the feed.
Starting point is 01:47:58 I can help. Maybe I can help. And then I DMed Dave and here we are. And I would like to invite you. a guest to come see us in Las Vegas and we'll pick up the tap. Well, and you can't go in Baby Step 2 if you have to pay for the travel, so Ramsey's going to pick up the travel for you, okay? Are you serious right now? Is this not the best day, Rachel?
Starting point is 01:48:28 I'm so happy for you. I'm like going to start crying. That's so fun, y'all. That is so fun. I have no idea what all y'all are squealing about, but Kevin, thank you for doing this. Kevin, you're the best. Kevin, you're amazing. Well, you're amazing.
Starting point is 01:48:45 And thank you for all you do. You work in the health industry, right? Are you a nurse or a caretaker or? So I'm a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I work in like mental health and addiction. Okay. All right. Well, you're doing God's work right there.
Starting point is 01:49:07 And you deserve a break. and you deserve a mommy daddy trip or a girlfriend's trip or whatever it is, you and a guest, come and hang out with us and take a trip back in time. Oh, my gosh. I'm not to speak with you. It's great to speak with you, but Kevin, you're amazing. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:49:30 I believe, I believe I like to, I'm not, I don't like to spend money. But when I do spend money, I like to spend it on experiences. and so you should have this experience. Absolutely. Yeah, and Rachel can testify since she's been there twice. I know, Kevin. You guys, you heal inner childs of millennial women across our world. It is the best show.
Starting point is 01:49:55 So Rachel, I'm so excited for you. Yes. Thank you so much. This is incredible. Thank you. But, no, I'm speechless right now. It takes a lot to get me speechless. Well, I hope you have a great time.
Starting point is 01:50:12 And Dave, I'm a new fan now. And Rachel here, I'm a new fan as well. Thank you, Kevin. Come to our show. John, is it Delany? Yeah, Deloney. Deloney or Deloni? Deloni.
Starting point is 01:50:26 I've been following him for a while. I love what he does. And he actually reached out to me, Rachel, and said you were coming to the show. And I was going to try to see you guys. But we got our DM timeline crossed up, and I didn't get to say, high to you. That is totally fine. I so, I appreciate that. He's a good friend to do that. But yeah, Kevin, we love you. We do. We love the backstreet boys. Just so you know. Following along, getting all kinds of people on how to, how to handle my finances as well.
Starting point is 01:50:54 That's right. If you need any help, you let us know. I'm sure you'll be fine. Thank you. Thank you, Kevin. That's very generous. We'll see you this summer whenever. You let us know. We're going to be in touch. Our folks will reach out to you. whenever this summer, July through August. You figure it out, you pick it out, and we'll take care of it. Oh my gosh. You're like, you guys are incredible. Thank you so much. Like I don't know, I can't say thank you enough. That's so fun. We'll see you this summer. Thanks, Kevin, for reaching out. That's very generous of you. Very cool. Good stuff, guys. Very fun. Thanks, Kevin. Well, you don't get to do that very often. That's so, we, oh my gosh. It's like a.
Starting point is 01:51:39 it's like a make a wish. You know, we're just like, I feel like we just healed Rachel. I was like the fact that we get to take her, you know, it's amazing. Kevin's generosity. Appreciate him reaching out in the DMs. Yes. Glad my social media guys actually recognized because I don't look at it and they would have gone. Well, yeah, no.
Starting point is 01:51:56 This is like the Kevin. Yes, hello. And his generosity and all is just incredible. So kind. It makes a fun moment. It makes a great moment. She'll never forget it. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 01:52:08 Sure. So great. Yeah. Now we have a whole new clip. And it is the whole, well, the experience part, what he said is so true. And that's what Arthur Brooks talks about. The stinking sphere is just off the chain. Do I? Oh, yeah. It's just 167,000 speakers. It's like you're wearing headphones. It's incredible. It's amazing. It's amazing. Yeah, Rachel's going to have a great time. And we'll pick up the travel and he's picked up the tickets and the experience that he'll have. The boys will have lined up for Miss Rachel in Indianapolis. And, uh, very, very generous of them. And we appreciate the effort and the effort to come on the air with us and do the giveaway. Yes, I know. We took time out of his day to do that. So kind. So kind. Very nice.
Starting point is 01:52:49 Very nice. I know. Hey, guys. Generosity. It's, uh, heals the soul. The best part of, uh, handling your money well is it puts you in a position that you can do something. The best part of handling your fame well is it puts you in a position to do something.
Starting point is 01:53:04 The best part of handling your power well is it puts you in a position to do something. something for someone else, which is where you will get the most joy, by the way. Yep. And so, you know, it just goes right with the giving shows, the generosity stuff we talk about. But obviously it's Kevin's spirit to do that and to be that kind of a person. And then it sets Rachel up to be able to do this. It all comes down because you were already the biggest fan and customer and she called in on a day you were on the air. Listen, I got someone to Taylor Swift because the air is too.
Starting point is 01:53:38 was amazing. The Backstreet Boys in Vegas. Oh my gosh. It's life-changing. It is. So when you get to, I'm telling you, for millennials, y'all, this is like our, oh, and I just saw, I think it's, there's some, yeah, there's some more, all the millennial bands. They're all, like, coming back. There's, like, a thing in Nashville happening this summer with some of them. Yeah. It just, it is. It's so good. The nostalgia play is real. And all the boomer bands are back, but they're all 80. Yeah, these guys can actually dance. These guys are young. They can actually be dancing. And they're all good guys. Like you like, there's a one of the songs, and it's a video of all
Starting point is 01:54:12 of like pictures of them and their moms and their kids and their wives. And you're just like, oh my gosh, like they've just done so well. They've stewarded it so well. And I think that's why I love them too. There you go. It's all these years later, you know. Or I'm praying for Britney still. I want her to do well. But yeah, it's awesome. So great.
Starting point is 01:54:30 That's fun. Congratulations, Rachel. And thank you again to Kevin and the Backstreet Boys for furnishing the tickets. What a great fun thing we get to do here on the to listen up folks if you've got a complicated tax situation and you're putting off filing your return it's time to talk with a ramsie trusted tax pro not next week not april 15th right freaking now ramsie trusted tax pros know the tax code front to back so they can do the heavy lifting to help you file on time and explain things to you with the heart of a teacher but they can
Starting point is 01:55:59 only do that if you get on their schedule before they book up go to ramsie solutions dot com slash tax pro to find a full-time tax advisor who serves your area with excellence. That's ramsysolutions.com slash tax pro. Our scripture of the day, Romans 828, and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Colonel Sanders said, just because you took longer than others doesn't mean you failed. Remember that. By the way, if you didn't know, he started Kentucky Fried Chicken at 67 years old.
Starting point is 01:56:49 So it's not too late. I don't care who you are. It's not too late. Very fun. So, Rachel, are you okay now? Are you calm down now? I did. I said the 12-year-old me is just dying inside.
Starting point is 01:57:08 Dying inside. That's so funny. The boy band era was real, y'all. When you were in middle school, I mean, that was a real, real thing. So that's pretty wild. So they had to be like 20 years old, right? Or they were six. They were teenagers.
Starting point is 01:57:22 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah, but he was the oldest bandmate. And he just told me, because I ran into the booth to say bye to tell you. Yeah, his oldest, he said, was 18. His oldest child, son. Oh, so age he was when all this was happening.
Starting point is 01:57:38 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. And I think he was a little bit older in the band, too, if I remember right. But anyways, it was great. So fun. And to be able to hook her up on that. We need to do like a once a year giveaway on Ramsey's show somehow.
Starting point is 01:57:51 If we find something like that, we'll do it. I mean, we didn't create that. He did. That was awesome. I mean, we just facilitated it, right? But we, so if you call in what concert tickets, we're not buying them for you, okay? That's not what this was about, okay? But yeah, that's, but yeah, he, he DM'd us and I'm out there talking to social media guy and he's telling me the whole story.
Starting point is 01:58:15 I didn't even know how this all happened. But very interesting. Very fun. It's fun, fun. Wonderful. Yeah. I think she was truly speechless. Yeah, I'm sure that was like a massive whiplash.
Starting point is 01:58:28 Yeah. She had no idea why we called her on the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We called her and said, we need you to come back on the air and she's like, what do? What? What I do wrong. What I do wrong. All right.
Starting point is 01:58:38 A meal is with us in Miami. Hi, Amil. How are you? Hey, guys. I hope you're doing better than you deserve. We are. How can we help you today, sir? Yes, so I just graduated college four months ago.
Starting point is 01:58:50 I'm 26 years old. I was able to secure a 70K career that's pretty stable. And I wanted to know how I can stay motivated to stay out of debt for the next, you know, 40 years. I have no student loans. I have a paid off car, I think, for my parents, and I do have 5K in credit card debt. And you're wanting to know just how to. Well, you can't stay motivated in a vague sense of, oh, I'm just going to be motivated. Most people can't. You need a specific reason that you're doing things.
Starting point is 01:59:32 So, you know, for instance, when we went broke and I filed bankruptcy the year Rachel was born because I was an idiot. And so my reason was to never be back in that kind of pain again and to make sure I could feed my children and to change my family tree. That was my reason, my driving force was to never be stuck by that again. And so, you know, why, if you were to build wealth, why would you? And what would be your goal? What is it you're trying to do with the wealth? So if you're married with a kid, you'd say, oh, I'd love to change my family tree. You know, I'm the first one of my family to graduate from college.
Starting point is 02:00:14 And so I'm going to use that as a way to, you know, further the family name. And the, you know, but I don't know what your thing is, but you need to have something. that's a reason, a why that you're doing this. If you have a good why, your motivation is there. So I'll recommend a book for you and a TED Talk as well that's famous by a friend of mine named Simon Sinek. Simon became famous from the TED Talk and now he's had multiple bestselling books. And we've spoken together in leadership conferences. He's a wonderful guy. The book that made him famous and the talk that made him famous is called Start with Why. Start with why. And so you have to have a big why for scratching and clawing and sacrificing to win. Otherwise, you'll just be mediocre. And in America today, it's very easy to have a really high quality life and be average and mediocre and not be all that you could be. The enemy of excellence is not is not, is not.
Starting point is 02:01:24 laziness and all this. The enemy of excellence is, oh, everything's okay. So I don't have to push myself. And I don't, I don't have to develop a why. I'm just like, thank God, it's Friday. Oh, God, it's Monday. Coasting. Coasting. Yeah. Yeah. So you need a why. You need a reason that we're doing this. And if you've got that, then it'll get you up in the morning and money will be a natural result of that. Yeah. And usually the motivation and the why, if it's something that can be taken away, like a, I'm doing it to buy a type of car or I'm doing it for this thing. That can feel very shallow very quickly. So those things that money can't buy, you know, I'm doing this for my family. I'm doing this for security and peace. I'm doing it like, you know what I mean? Like those things are
Starting point is 02:02:09 great. Someday I want to give away a million dollars. Yes, the generosity piece of it. Yeah. And that's your driving thing. And it becomes a goal. Your why becomes a goal. And then you begin to break it down year by year and go, okay, this year I'm going to make this much progress towards that goal. Next year, I'm going to make that much progress towards that goal and so on. And a little bit at a time you get there. And that'll also keep you away from things that are harming you if you have a good enough why. And so, you know, you'll cut up the credit cards and get rid of the little $5,000 worth of debt. That's just kind of, that's just disorganized and lazy is all that is, organizationally lazy, not work ethic lazy. Mitchell is in Chattanooga. Hi, Mitchell. How are you?
Starting point is 02:02:50 Good. Thank you guys for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? So my wife and I are planning on moving in the next 18 months, but we're planning on moving to a different state to be closer to family. So my question is, how do we tackle that large of a move? For context, we have $85,000. It's so left on our house, and it's worth about $350. So our plan would be to take the equity from the house and use that as the down payment toward the next house. But if we don't sell our house and but find one in the next state and vice versa, if we have somebody wanting to buy our house, here but we haven't found the next house.
Starting point is 02:03:25 What do we go about with contingencies? How would that work? Well, before I worried about that, I would flowchart this and say, we are moving when these things happen and not until. And I don't know what these things are, but the two that come to mind could be the house sells, and it could be you have your new job lined up there. You didn't mention that. You just said, we want to be closer to family.
Starting point is 02:03:54 You didn't mention I've got a job lined up, do you? Well, I work remote, and I can work anywhere, so the job will just go with me. Okay, that's easy then. Okay. So the only thing keeping you from leaving could be the sale of the house. You could just sit there until the house sells. And then if we sell this house, would it be smart to do a lease back while we're finding the house in the next state? I mean, if you can delay the closing, that's fine.
Starting point is 02:04:21 if you end up, you know, what I would do is when you put your house on the market, I would begin shopping houses there and say this neighborhood, these four houses in this neighborhood would be great, any of them would be great. And if our house sales were immediately going to make an offer on one of those and we'll set them up for closings two days apart. And you can make that happen. Or you can, you know, set up a, if the buyer is willing on your side, to let you live there for a month while you fool around and find a house. That's fine. But I think you can do your footwork, especially if you've got family over there and you maybe
Starting point is 02:05:01 live there before yourself. I don't know. You kind of know some of the areas already that you're thinking of. Go over there and look at, go physically, go visit the houses like you're looking for a house because you are. And only you're just not putting in an offer today. And then don't get all hot and bothered and buy a house before yourselves. That's going to get you into a mess.
Starting point is 02:05:20 at least don't close. Yeah, that was perfect. Yeah, so now, so that I actually did this a few years ago. We ended up, it was a two-step procedure for us because we were going to build. And obviously we didn't have time to build while we sat in the old house, right? So we bought another house. But we had already shopped that neighborhood before we put our house on the market. We put it on the market.
Starting point is 02:05:44 It's sold. And we made offers on three different houses in that neighborhood and bought one of them moved into that neighborhood. and you can do that kind of a thing, and you can also put a contingency offer that's contingent upon the closing of your old house. And you don't have to close on the new one until the old one sells. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show in the books.
Starting point is 02:06:03 We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

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