The Ramsey Show - Own Your Choices, Starting Now

Episode Date: April 24, 2026

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Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life from the Ramsey Network in the Fair Ones Credit Union Studio. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw. Next to me, Dr. John Deloney,

we are taking calls from you all hour long. We're headed out to Seattle, Washington, where we have Shelby on the line. Hey, Shelby, what's going on? How can we help today? Hi. If I'm just calling, I'm wondering if the way my fiancé is,

splitting the finances with us with me. Is the right way? Okay. I can already tell this is going to be a fun call, Shelby. Yeah, tell us about the right way that he hasn't split now. Have you listened to our show before? Yes, I have, and I actually listen to you guys always. And John, like, Jane, I follow you guys religiously, so yes.

Okay, so whatever answer we give you, same team, right? Yes. Okay, all right, good. All right. Let it rip. So long story short, my fiancé are a blended family. We do own a home together. I have three kids. He has one.

My ex who passed away years ago left me in a financial situation where I did have to file bankruptcy before I got to my fiancé. I then built myself back up, got myself, you know, a very six-figure pain. job, you know, moved throughout. And now we have one joint checking, but the mortgage is the only thing that comes out of that. And then everything else, Venmo is. Interesting. Okay, your phone's breaking up a bit. Make sure you're somewhere where your phone's not breaking up.

You said you Venmo each other? Yes. All hot relationships stay hot through Venmo. So here's, there's some things going on. that might be outside of your belief system, but I'm just going to say it because I try to give the advice that I would do in my own life and that I think is something that would really help you. So you've got the one account. All the money goes into it because both of you are paying for the mortgage.

And then who pays for the other stuff? Well, so only the mortgage payment money goes into that one account. Right. but that comes a little bit from both of you, right? Yes, it does. Okay. Is it half and half? Yep, it's half and half.

Okay. And then tell me how the rest of the bills and kids stuff and how that's divvied up. So things like internet, power, garbage are half and half. Groceries, we go back on fourth on, well, you have two more kids than I do, so maybe you should pay for a little bit more. And I'm like, well, you knew how many kids I had come, How do you think it should be? How do you think it should be? I think we should each have our own accounts for spending and fun and leisure.

And then we should combine the rest of our finances and majority of our finances and pay all the bills from one account. He is the father figure in my children's life because their father is no longer around. How long has he been around? How long have you guys been in this relationship together? Three years. Okay. And when's the wedding? That's a good question. And he wants to wait until we've been engaged for two years before we get married.

Why? Oh, wow. I don't know. Is this like level two in his test? I feel like it. I mean, I've watched your show many times before and I'm just like, you proposed. Why? And he's like, well, I just, I want to make sure.

That you're the one? And that's what I said. I was like, you don't change? Here's a hundred percent guarantee. Both of you will change a million. My wife's on version. like 41 of the idiot 24 year old she married. Thank God, right? I'm glad I changed. The ring doesn't mean, and now I'm considering you for marriage. That's not what the ring means. The ring is we're

going to get married. I have decided you are the one I'm going to marry. The engagement is just simply a planning period to have the party. That's really all it is. All right. So I agree. Let me ask you this. How much of, because I want to honor this, how much of your concern about I need to have my own on the side here. How much of that stems from the absolute mess you were left when your first husband passed away? In the beginning, I was terrified to join any type of finances with him because my late husband did significantly put me in a bind where I could barely feed my kids. But now that I've gotten to know this man and I see him and he runs his only. business. You know, I see the dedication of work that he puts in every day and that I'm like,

okay, yes, I am now comfortable with this. However, I would feel like my own account for like getting my hair done or my nails, you know, leisure reason. I'll still tell you. I think the nerd work, the research data on this confirms it, what we've been teaching for more than three decades. All of it goes into the same boat. And together, you'll have the conversation about hair and nails and haircuts and shampoo, like all of that stuff. I have to tell you, like, just as a husband of a wife of almost a quarter century, you're worth more than you're getting right now. Yeah. You're worth more than being in a trial period number two.

You're worth more than no marriage I've ever heard of. I'm sure they exist and I get a I get a sample size of the ones who are in crisis right I've never heard of a successful marriage where they're Venmoing and bickering over who you like it colder so you have to pay more of the electric bill you know who does that 19 year old roommates who share an apartment yes not people who are ride or die till death do its part like making a life together that they both want to be awesome and I think that's part of it I think exactly what John said is is part of the problem. There is a very shallow commitment here. And because of that, I think you're experiencing that. It's like, I'm only going to go so far in. And you have your reservations as well that you're only going to go so far in. And I actually think it's a wonderful thing that you're not combining money right now because you're not married. And this thing, even if you were the most solid engaged couple ever, I would still say, hey, right now you don't need to have your money combined because the deal is not done. But I don't hear.

like a super solid engaged couple. And so the reasoning still applies. Now is not the stage to combine money. I understand that you guys are all living in the same household. And probably while you're in that scenario, yeah, having a fund where you both kick in your parts for the rent or for the mortgage, that probably makes sense for how you're choosing to live at this moment. But I wouldn't.

I wouldn't combine money until you are married. And I would push for marriage. Yeah. Because, well, let me caveat that. I would not push for marriage if you don't think this is the guy. But if you're like, this is my guy. I believe in him. I trust him.

I trust that we're going to grow together and change together and we're going to be able to get on the same page. Yes, get married. But if you're having reservations, and I want to say this because you said I got burned before, the calls that John and I get where people have been burned before, there were red flags. There were red flags and there were little behaviors that was like, ah, that doesn't feel right. And there was just this more and more of a separation that occurred. And so I want to tell you, if you can create a relationship that from the beginning, there is transparency. Everybody's involved.

Everybody, we may not think about things exactly the same or have exactly the same values, but we're both very, very interested. It's our priority to show up for one another. So if he values something, I have to show up and show, hey, I care about it too. just because you care about it and vice versa. And if you don't sense that or feel that or see proof of life in that area, you need to consider that deeply because, John, these are the things. Red flags are red for a reason.

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All righty, back to the phone lines where we have Jonathan, who's in Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Hey, Jonathan. How are you doing today? Hey, Jane. Hey, Jonathan. I appreciate it. You bet. How can we help? Yeah, so my question today is just, how do my wife and I buy a house with a mortgage payment being around 25% of your take-home pay and the situation that we're in? I give you like a little quick details to hear because that's cool with you.

Yeah, the more than merrier. So awesome, awesome. So we've been written for seven years. We're debt-free. We got debt-free last May, actually. And then we do have our three-month- expenses. So we follow y'all's plan. And the dilemma is I get paid 46 to 80 a year.

Last year, I went like 55 with overtime. My wife makes $8,000 a year just because she's a stay-at-home mom and she has like a side of gig with the church because he knows like to leave worship and stuff. So combined like 55 just day salary, I could get more with overtime. But the dilemma is I mean like a job where I like, it's kind of a dream job. So it's kind of like I could leave and go find something making more. But I don't want to. I like it.

And so in my wife, I don't want her to get a job because, again, we like it. And so we don't know what to do, but we want to own a home. And it's like we're stuck. So, brother, you are running right up against one of our culture's greatest lives. That we could have it all all at the same time, just how we wanted it. And every one of us runs up against that at some point. That's true. It's very true.

I want to have these great values. I want to follow my faith convictions. I want to follow my educational convictions. I want to follow quote unquote my passion, working at a place that I believe in, that I like, but only pays me this much money. And it runs up against this awful thing called math. Yes, exactly. That's what we are. And so you all get, y'all going to have to ask yourselves, what do we value more?

Home ownership or me working at a place where I feel valued. I don't, they're paying me as good as they can. I trust that that's happening. I love my work environment or a value of my wife stays at home and takes care of our kids because that's a value for us. And if those two values are immovable, then that means we're going to be renters because those two values are that important to us. Or if we want, if we value homeownership above all things, then I'm going to work a job that

may not be my favorite work environment or I may not love, but it's going to provide this kind of life for us. or my wife is going to in one year when the kids are old enough to go to school, she's going to go work full time. And you get what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I'm definitely following you. And I hate it for you, man. All of us face it.

I hate it for you. Yeah. Yeah, the dilemma, yeah, what you said. It's something to think about, and I like what John said, just because you make a choice now, it doesn't mean it has to stay that way forever. Because to his point, when you say, to one thing. You're automatically, it's an opportunity cost. You're automatically saying no to something

else, even if you hadn't stopped in the moment to consider what that is that you've said no to by saying yes to, to stay at home mom and yes to the career. But yeah, there's a, there's a future that maybe that doesn't work for you guys anymore. And then you look up and you go, you know what, I am ready to move on into a different career or see how I can expand. And she might think, you know what, I've been staying at home for X amount of years. I'm ready to get out there. So there's no, permanence in any of these decisions, and home ownership is always there waiting for you. It's not, if you say to me, Jade, I really want to buy a house. I'm not going to say to you, great, that's impossible. I'm going to say, okay, with the choices that you've determined,

your timeline is just a lot further out than other people's. And you're going to have to be very intentional about getting there and just know, hey, what might have taken somebody else three or four years could take you a decade. And if you're fine with, I don't know how old are you are in your 20s? So I'm 30. My wife's 27. Okay. So if you think, hey, we're not buying our first house until we're in our 40s, that's

your choice to make. And that's your road if you want to walk it. You know, folks call in here all the time and they love their careers and there's not a strong upside financially. And I just go, okay, you're going to be in that Camry life. You're going to be that used Camry life. And that's okay. If that's what you love and you get most of your joy out of the work that you do.

Here's the thing I want to make sure you hold, though, okay? Yeah. I don't want you to feel like this world that you and your wife live in is happening to you. I want y'all to, and it might be you call and get a babysitter and y'all go out for a half morning, right? I want y'all to take full ownership of the choices you're making. Because if you walk through life feeling like this is happening to us, then chances are, your wife is going to end up in the guilt factory, she can't do anything right,

and you're going to feel like you're going to live in the failure factory. Yeah, I don't make enough. That's right. I'm not providing enough for fill in the blank. And the problem is that finish line of the guilt factory and the failure factory, it just moves on you. It just keeps moving and moving until you opt out of both of those factories and you just say, hey, we're choosing this.

It's great. We're choosing stay at home. We're choosing a job where I can clock out and come be present at home. And that means we're choosing this financial situation. And that means we're choosing to rent for a while. But the more you feel like a victim to your circumstance, the more you both are going to end up in pathological responses. That's a nerd way of saying you're going to be reacting to your life.

And nobody makes loving, intimate connection while they're reacting. That makes sense. That makes sense. So we choose it, if we choose it, find a way to enjoy it and be excited about it. And if you make coming together once every six months, once a year, hey, what life do we want to choose this time? We've never been married and had a three-year-old and you're pregnant again. We've never been married and had a four-year-old. We've never been married and had a kindergarten. Like, your marriage changes every year. And so to Jay's point, this particular year, what do we want

to choose? Well, actually, I want to choose to go back to work. All right, well, let's navigate that. And that's going to come with guilt and what, and let's choose to buy a house. Okay, then what must be true for us to do that? But it's you owning this thing, not you responding to this thing. That's so good. And that's a great question. And I actually think the way that you explain that, John, is really the crux mindset that you have to have around everything that we teach. Because all of it is I'm giving up something here to get something I want over here.

Right? And so even something as simple as a budget when we say, hey, make a budget because when you make a budget, you have control over it. You're choosing and saying, this is how I'm going to spend my money. It's not, oh, somebody's making me spend my money on groceries and my car noted. No, I chose this. I chose. I said I'm going to put this much of a line item towards entertainment. I'm going to put this much of a line.

Right. And already you feel way better about the things that maybe you're going to say no to or maybe that you're not going to be able to do in this season because you made the choice of making the budget. Same thing with getting out of debt. You chose, okay, this is the season where I grind. No, the IRS didn't do it to me. Student loans didn't do it to me. I chose that I would like to be free. I would like to get out of debt.

Therefore, now I can feel really good about and just kind of almost set my expectations to know, hey, this is the season where it feels like a grind. Because I'm choosing. I chose it. I chose to walk into the gym this morning or not. I chose to stay up. I'll tell you, I chose to stay up way, way too late last night. and I then made a choice to cost myself this morning.

That's right. Right? And so even going all the way back to something like student loans, the number of times I blamed this amorphous they. We've all done it. They told me I had to go to college. Who? Well, they did.

And it's a combo of parents and culture and teachers. Right? And they didn't tell me how bad this was going to be after college. And at some point I had to say, You're right. But I signed my name on that paper. I chose to believe it. I got to pay that back. Yes. I signed the paper. I'm going to pay that back. And that means I'm going to choose to have a pretty crummy car for a while. I'm going to choose to move into a dorm for a while. I'm going to choose sleep on air matches for like, I'm going to make these choices. And man, that's the shift out of, here's the thing. I've spent my whole career sitting with people, assault victims, people who have loved ones pass away, people who made choices to, you know, sell or use drugs. We always end. end on one question. What are you going to do now? And that's a choice. Like if this happened,

it did. And it's for real. What are you going to do now? And I think that's the most empowering questions somebody can ask somebody else. I think so too. Because then you know, hey, no matter where things end up, I didn't, somebody didn't put me there. I put, there's more peace in knowing. I got in the driver's seat of my life. Yes. That's one of the reasons I almost will never, ever, ever, ever, you'll never hear me suggest bankruptcy on this show because you lose control. The government steps in and now they're telling you to sell this and do that. Control guys, it is a wonderful feeling, even if things aren't going specifically your way to be able to say, I chose this, it's everything. Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's

healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes. Yeah, and that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is a essential because it protects your family if the worst happens. Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long-term disability insurance. Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive but can't work. So it replaces a large part of

income so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet. Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great. Take it. If it's discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Zander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married, it's not optional. If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money still showing up. And that's why Zander is our go-to. They make it super simple to get the right coverage at the best price, no pressure, no upselling. I've trusted Jeff Zander. And, Zander insurance for over 25 years, and so is my family. So don't wait. It's fast. It's easy, and it could make all the difference.

Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family. Kyle is in Boston, Massachusetts. Hey, Kyle, how can we help today? Hey, good. How are you? Thanks for taking my call today. Yeah, you bet.

I had a question around student loans. So I'll give a quick background before I asked my question, but I went to a private college, got a small scholarship that still took on some debt sitting at around $25,000 in student loans debt. That's the only debt I have. I'm a very diligent spender, very good with my money. If I invest in the market, standard return puts it above my interest rate. I have a hard time struggling with should I pay off my student loan debt or should I take that minimum pay or the money? and invested into the market instead. Dude, I love talking to smart guys.

Like, for real. Like, thoughtful. You thought this through, and that's awesome. Yes, definitely. Yeah, I mean, there's a mathematical side of that that you can play out. I'm more on the emotional side of it. You know, over here we believe that the borrower is slave to the lender. And you do feel that that's a sole tax that you pay.

It's a sleep tax that you pay. It's a relational tax that you pay. and it's clearly bothering you because you're also calling into a show about the student loan debt. You're not thinking, I'm just going to go over here and invest, you're thinking about it

in relation to the student loan debt. So that student loan debt is weighing on you and weighing on your body in some way. I would challenge you that there's a world where you get to do both. You just need to do one first and the other one second. And I don't think in the long run

you're going to go back and go, man, if only I have invested that money instead of paying off my student loan, I think you're going to go, let me just clear out the student loan. It's a private student loan. It's a private loan, right? Yes. No, no, it's a federal loan. It's a federal loan. Oh, I thought you said private. Okay, so it's federal loan. How quickly could you do it? Because something tells me that you make a fine income. So, honestly, the reason I'm calling today is I hit the breaking point where my brokerage account meets the debt.

I could do it today. I bet. Done. I bet. Do it right now. Right now. Hey, hey, here's a bet I'll make you. Okay?

Cancel the debt today. Live debt-free for two pay periods, two months. If you hate not owing anybody any money, go down to the local credit union, take a $25,000 loan and put it back in the market. Money-back guarantee. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, just call,

call our bluff, two months. Yeah, and John, that's part of the reason I'm calling, right? I just don't think I'd do that. Like, I, of course you would. I make fine money.

It would, I could probably get that back in another year, maybe too. I mean, I've only been out of school for a couple of years now. So.

But you see the point he's making? That's a dilemma I'm phasing. It's not a dilemma. There's no dilemma. You have never been 100% in the driver's seat of your own life. You were at your parents' house. Financially now.

You went to a college where they told you what to do and when to do it. You got a job and they're telling you what you do every day and you got a bank telling you, I don't care if you're sick, I don't care if COVID's here. You owe me that money. You've never sat in the car of your life

completely autonomously with agency, as the nerds say. And I'm telling you on the other side of where you are, bro, it's pretty sweet. That's such a good point. Anything that's in your life, you're saying yes to, right? So, you should look at the things in your life intentionally and say, do I want to say yes to that? Do I want to say yes to $25,000 of debt now that I know kind of what it is and what it costs me? And John made such a great point. Obviously, the answer is no, you don't want to say yes to that because if we said,

hey, why don't you go and take out $25,000 of debt? And you don't have any. You say, no, I don't want to do that. That's stupid. You ended up with this debt, probably like all of us did. You weren't thinking straight. You know, you didn't understand that that's what you were choosing, right? You got it. But now that you have the choice, exercise that and say, you know, I don't really want that in my life. And I love what John said. If you paid off, you decide, ah, you know what, I actually miss it. I miss it. I miss it. I miss it. I need it back. I love having to look every third night because you're a guy who looks. I look at my balance to see what the interest is and how much it's growing. Just to make sure it's still there. I just miss it. Yeah. Dude, how old are you? So I'm 23 years old. Holy! Bro, wait a minute now. You could be free before you're 25.

Yeah. 25. Freedom, homie. He could be free today. Today. He said he has the money today. Before you're 24. Yeah.

What's the payment on his student loans? What's the payment on him? So my minimum payment is $207, and that would, wrote me in for, I think, another seven or eight years. maybe at this point. Have you done the math? Have you done the math on just if you said, you know what, today, I'm going to, I'm going to bite the bullet.

I'm going to take this $25,000. I'm going to go ahead and pay it off. And then starting, you know, next month, because you have more cash lane around, I just know it. Starting next month, I'm going to invest 15% plus the 207. And I'm going to do that from age 24 to age 64. Have you just done that math? So, and I have, and I've done the math on what if I was, so in my mind I have X amount that I'm putting towards the market and student loans combined, right? So if I just put, if I take that minimum payment out and take that number that I have in mind and just put it towards the market, it's, there is a little bit of a higher number in keeping the student loan around because that interest rate is below standard return on the market.

I know, but you're, and that's, that's, that. That's the question. My point is, let me tell you my point. My point is if you pay this off today, yes, you're breaking down your brokerage by $25,000, but you're also becoming $25,000 free or you become a completely free individual. And then if you do what I said, the point is you're going to have a bazillion dollars. Maybe if you kept the student loan, you'd have a bazillion in one. But do you see what I'm saying?

There's going to be something that you pay. Everything is in exchange. We've been into this heavily today. Everything is in exchange. It's like, well, what do you want to exchange for your freedom? It's a short sacrifice. There's always a sacrifice to win. And winning isn't just in dollars and cents. It's in peace. It's in deciding who you want to be. John and I are people who are like, hey, we don't borrow money. We just don't like having that sense of attachment. I don't want another grown man telling me what I have to do. I have enough of that already. They tell me what,

when to be at work. They tell me how fast I can drive. I don't like it. So I don't want to give anybody else an opportunity to tell me what to do with my life. And it just sets the, it's a, it's a, it's a test for how we treat other things in our life. And hey, since you're a guy who runs data, can I challenge you with yet another calculation? Sure. Are you dating anybody? I am. Seriously? Yes. Okay. I just finished a two-year project studying marriage, okay? Okay. I would recommend. and this is going to sound crazy to you in the short term. Maybe don't even put that $200 into the market right away. But go take this date of yours and y'all go have fun.

Go laugh. Go have joy. Right? You're debt-free at 23. You make a great salary. You're on your path to be a multi-multi-millionaire. And the ROI on a married couple who's locked in with their money. money is the highest ROI. Two people who get to combine time, energy, and financial resources

over a long period of time, their net worth outpaces anybody. Right. So if you want to do the ultimate ROI, get married, and do marriage really, really well. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the plan. I mean, I guess just start it sooner. Bro. I, dude, I'm smiling because I like talking to young men like you, because you're the guys that I want leading the next generation of human beings, that my kids are going to walk on the sidewalks that you, that you're pouring. Yeah, and I appreciate that.

And the reason for my call is because of that, right? Like, I have that question of, what do I want? Do I want peace? Do I want logic? And it goes back to also the point that I think Jay was making is like, it's been playing plus one or peace of mind early and focus on life earlier on, right? That's right. That's right. If you unshackle yourself from people telling you what to do at 23, how fast you can run will astonish you. You'll get so far, so much further ahead of your peers,

your neighbors, the people around you. You're in a pretty amazing spot. Choose freedom today, brother, debt free today. Running a business is hard work. You're the CEO, the accountant, and the sales team. You don't have time to moonlight as your own benefits department. That's where health trust financial helps. In fact, health insurance is one of the biggest and most confusing line items in your budget. And most of you are overpaying because you're stuck figuring it out alone. You don't have time to figure out all the fine print about networks and deductibles. My friends at Health Trust Financial have been helping Ramsey listeners for over 20 years. Their focus is simplifying health insurance and serving people with empathy.

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that's health trust financial.com. Here's the deal. Buying or selling a home is actually a very, very big deal. And with all the clickbait headlines and conflicting data out there, it's very hard to know what's really happening in the housing market. But we're here to help make the latest trends easy to understand. For instance, last month, the average 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, that rate, it ticked up to about 5.56%.

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All right, we got Richard, who's in Austin, Texas. Hey, Richard, how can we help today? Yo, what's up you guys? It's great to be on your show. Yeah. How can we help? So here's what's going on. I moved to Austin from Florida about four years ago, and I think I have the Golden

handcuffs at a 3% interest rate. So I kept my home in Florida, and it's been a rental property since. and I just had it appraise at $3.50, and I owe $1.90 on it. Now, I've done a ton of work and renovations to this home because it's 100 years old. So right now, I don't have a high amount of cash set aside. And so it's kind of a lifestyle thing is where right now in Austin, I'm living in a one-bedroom apartment. But the house does have a 3% interest rate.

The mortgage is just under $1,500 a month, and it's rented for $2,200 a month. And so I'm curious if I should hold it. hold on to that house because a 3% interest rate isn't coming back or if I should sell it and look at maybe getting a place out here where I'm looking to stay for a few more years. I have a great idea for you.

I want you to get on a computer OG style. Use clip art. Don't use like any of the AI tools. Use clip art and make a sign that says 3% and print it in color and I want you to frame it

and I want you to put it right in the middle of your teeny tiny one-bedroom apartment kitchen. And every time you... Every time you have to turn sideways to get by your stool so you can get into your fridge, I want you to look up and be like, yeah, 3% this one's for you. Yeah, yeah.

And when I go on dates, I'll say, hey, but I do own a house. It's just on the other side of the country. Yeah, yeah. But in the meantime, why don't you come back to my place? And we can both squeeze into the food. I have in my combined kitchen slash breakfast

nook slash living room. Oh gosh. Yeah. Why are you doing this to yourself? 150 square feet. Do what? I said it's a whole 650 square. Oh, man. This, you know, I'm going to tell you was, I'll give you one worse. That's like when you have like a really and I know you're you're a man but like if you have a pair of jeans you love or like and

you gain a couple pounds and they don't fit anymore. And you just keep them in there and it's just taunting you. Every time you see him, it's like just a reminder, like, you're fatter than you were. Yeah, yeah. Bro, today, call today. Here's a good question to ask you. If you had 150 grand right now, would you take out a mortgage even at 3% and buy a house in nowhere of Florida? No.

You wouldn't do that. Just by default, man. You're a long-distance landlord. Sell the place, get that money, buy yourself a place in Austin, and in enjoy your life, dude. I guess just looking into the future, my thought is it'll be paid off in just under 20 years. What are you saying? Homie, have you been alive the last 10 years?

Yes, sir. I think so. Could you have predicted any of what's happened? No. Okay. So trying to read 20 years into the future that is this madhouse, man, I, man, best of luck to you. I would solve perfect. I figured y'all would go down that road, but you don't think it's worth keeping it just for the low.

No, you don't live there anymore. You don't live there. You don't live there. And to John's point, you can call it a rental house, but it's really not that because if you were on the hunt for a rental house, you would not have chosen that house. So it's just a house that you lived in, and now you don't live there anymore. So you sold it. Like, there's nothing, there's no loss there. There's no failure.

There's no. And it's almost like you're viewing it as a failure to sell this house. and let it go. And it's not. You moved on. And that's okay. It's a natural part. You're not winning. Of life. And I'll go one step further, brother. This is me in my house. I had a 3.1% interest rate. And I paid my house off. My wife and I scratched and clawed and worked like crazy to pay our house off. And I could have made more money in the years since. I could have, if I took the gap and put it in the market, I would have made money. But dude, I wouldn't trade that arbitrage for anything

because I put my head down on my pillow and that house is mine and nobody can take it from me. So probably shoot forks. The way I set up the lease is that it'll be vacated not this spring, but a year from now in the spring. No, too long. Tell them you're selling the house. Tell them you're selling the house.

Really? Yes. Well, you're going to keep it for another year? Yeah, I guess that's a good point. At some point, I want you to start considering what do you want your house to what do you want your life to feel like right now? You're over-indexing on an imaginary

future and you're under-indexing on the life you live right this second. You get about... Yeah, and that's the thing, is the ego hit of living in an apartment for the time with the thought of, well, you know, and when I retire, I'll have a paid-off home there, something like that. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe a hurricane takes it. Like, who knows, dude? Yeah, you change what you want. I mean, you could

change what you want. And that's not even in your purview when you get that age. Yeah. Well, all right. Well, then dang, let's get on the phone with one of y'all's endorse real estate providers. That's right. I would before the day's over. And I, dude, you'll be smiling so big when this thing's sell. I'm just telling you, man, when that money deposits in your account and you're free, we'll be able to feel that smile all the way here at Nashville from Austin. Yeah, that's a good thing. Yeah, that whole, we get that call all the time. A lot of times it's military folks who are moving around a lot and they end up with like a handful of houses in different states. And it's almost like, well, someone's in them. Someone's

renting it. So it must be a good idea. And the truth is like being a long distance landlord, the places are getting tore up. You're probably not as involved as you need to be or you're paying somebody to manage the property. And it's just like if you reverse it, you never would have selected. You never would have chosen that place. We have like recency amnesia. We just went through a global issue where in many markets they said we're freezing rents or your people don't have to pay for an undisclosed amount of time. It's like we've just all forgotten, man.

Well, I mean, I do think like COVID obviously was an isolated incident. But it happened. But the whole point is. In 2008, 2009 was an isolated incident. That's true. That's true. There's always another isolated incident. But I would say like the biggest part is what we've,

been saying for the last several calls, which is not letting life happen to you, but being so intentional about what you're choosing and knowing that if you say yes to one thing, you're likely saying no to other things. And that's okay. Like it's not a negative thing. It's a choice that you're making and being really intentional that the things that are in your life, you have said, you have looked at it and given it a once over and said, yes, I like that the way it is.

I would choose that again tomorrow. I would choose that again the next day. And if you can't say that about things in your life, it's time to cut it loose. That's that on that. A little question here from the social media. Peyton from Facebook says, My wife wants to upgrade rooms in our house. But I feel like it doesn't make sense since we will still have a mortgage on it.

Should we use those funds to pay off the current mortgage and then renovate it when we fully own it? I have a bias there. Tell me. Tell me. I'm on, not on Ramsey principles. I'm on his principal, like, that's what I would want to do in my house. And I also know... Keep the current one and upgrade it.

Like, I'm going to pay it off when it's mine. Then I'll start tinkering with it. But I also know, like, that question doesn't tell me what the state of the house is in. It doesn't tell us what baby step they're on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, if you're in baby step two, now's not the time to upgrade the mortgage. I can tell you that right now. Upgrade the bedroom, yeah.

Well, it sounds like... Sounds like she wants to remodel a room. Oh, okay. I read that a little bit different, differently. And he still has a mortgage and he says, hey, should we pay off the mortgage? I'm assuming they're in Baby Step 4, 5, and 6. You know, okay, I'll reframe my answer. If you're in Baby Step 4, 5, and 6, there is no wrong answer there.

I'll fix it up, man, if you want to or pay it off. Yeah, and if you're in Baby Step 2, well, you already know what to do. And I'll just say, if Mama wants to change up a room, probably change up that room. Unless you're on Baby Step 2. Most people don't struggle with money because they can't do math. They struggle because they don't stick to a plan. And when your bank makes your money feel confusing or hard to track, plans fall apart fast. And that's why I love Fairwin's credit union and their mobile app.

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debt, but Fairwinds offers convenience to help you stay in control. It's a huge difference. That's banking that actually supports the baby steps instead of working against them. So if you want to bank someplace that's both faster and wiser, check out Fairwins. Go to fairwins.org slash Ramsey. That's fairwins. dot org slash ramsie insured by the nc ua all right welcome back to the ramsie show here in the fair ones credit union studio i'm jade this is john and we're going to beth who's in denver colorado we were just there hosting the ramsay show live beth how you doing we're doing all right today how are you doing good how can we help you today um my mom is is 67 and currently living on social security um she is married and to my stepfather and they both had pretty major surgeries this year my mom had a back surgery

and my stepdad had open heart surgery and they can't really work right now they bring home about $4,400 a month but I recently she started like being short on things and finally I kind of asked to look at her finances and she has $51,000 in credit card debt. She has zero savings like literally zero. She has never really been really good at money. She's lost two houses and filed bankruptcy before. I'm currently debt-free after calling baby steps, but I'm with my husband about $1.8 million. And she knows that I have money,

and so she keeps calling me and expecting me to help. And I've kind of put all of herself into a budget for her, and she keeps overspending. you know, she'll show or door dash or something and then wonder why she's short every month. And so I'm trying to figure out how to kind of get it through to her that, like, she has to stop. And I, you know, I've talked to my husband and we just like don't feel like helping her. Sure. Yeah.

What about your stepdad? What's his role? What's his role in all this? I mean, they're both equally terrible at money, just generally speaking. And so, you know, she's asked me to buy her a house. And she's asked me to do, like, all of these things. And I'm like, we can't do that. Oh, this is extreme.

This is far worse than I. I asked my buddies for nachos, not a house. Oh, boy. And how long have they been married? They've been married since I was five. Okay. So this is not like, oh, this is kind of new. They've been a mess for a while.

A long, long while. Yeah. Yeah, and they had money when I was in high school and, like, kind of just spent it and leaned into that lifestyle. And then they tried the downside and so bought another house, ended up losing both houses. And they've lived in rentals ever since then. And, you know, I thought that they were kind of getting back on their feet. But I just think that they're terrible budgets and they feel very entitled coming from, you know, living a lifestyle that was above their means for so long.

Yeah, I mean, they made choices. They made choices the same way you made choices, right? They were dealt a hand and they said, here's what I'm going to do. You were dealt your hand and you said, here's what I'm going to do. If you spend too much time, and John, this is your area, but if you spend too much time trying to sort through why other people made and make the choices that they're making, it is just. You're going to go insane. Right. Yeah, you will go insane, especially if you're using that framework to determine what you're going to do.

It's like you just got to look at you and just. I just go, hey, I see what's going on. It's very apparent. I don't need to do a bunch of mental gymnastics here. It's very apparent what's going on. And the fact that here's what did it in for me. When you said she was literally coming to you saying, hey, will you buy me a house? That's when I knew.

We don't even need to go through a whole lot of the rigmarole of what they're doing. This is ridiculousness. And I'm wondering, have you just gone to her and said, mom, here are the ways I can help you. I can help you with the budget. I can help you as accountability to stick with the budget. it. I can help show you the things that I've done. I can provide a plan for you. But one thing I cannot do because you guys actually do have money is I am not going to give you monetary help because you have money coming in that if you manage it properly will be enough for you. And I think

when you say that very clearly, that's all you can say. And then when your mom oversteps the boundary because she's going to, you can just say, hey, just remember what I said before. I'm happy to sit down with you and do the budget. Yeah. I think the tricky part right now is that like about half of these things are already in collections. Like the credit cards are in collections. She doesn't even have enough room in her budget to pay these crazy minimums. And so I kind of told her to start with one credit card and like not pay the rest right now.

And I've set like I set up a budget for her. I know Beth, hold on, Beth, Beth. Beth, Beth. Beth, she's lost two houses before. Yeah. She's had the worst thing that can happen to somebody. She lost her home. And then she had it happen again.

And then she's about to have it happen again. What does that tell you? What does that tell you? I mean, I just feel like they just don't learn from them. Okay. So you, here's the thing, you're right. And, like, they blow by natural consequences. The rules of the world of reality don't apply to this.

them when they have money and when they don't. And no, no amount, let me free you from this. There's not a thing you haven't said in just the right way that would solve this for them. They're really fortunate to have you as their daughter. The fact that you care this much, because I know in a family with finances like this, you've been through a lot also, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Listen. We went to do things when I was little. because for the same reason probably. Yes. I want you to hear me say, you have changed your family tree.

You didn't take the baton from them. You picked it up off the track and you decided to run as fast as you could with it. And you're going to hand it off to your kids in a much better position than you were giving it, right? Yeah, I mean, that was my huge motorway there for not ending up like that.

That's right. I just promised I would never leave my kids like in this position. Yeah. And you've done that. that. And I want you to hear me and Jay say, man, we're so proud of you. Because what you've done is really hard. It's harder than just doing the baby steps. You also had to take care of that seven-year-old little girl that was dealing with chaos and divorce and new boyfriends and food insecurity growing up.

And now it continues to be hard because here you are doing well and you have to sit and see. You got survivors guilt. That's right. Yeah. And so let me say, here's what I know about you. I can tell it by the way you told the story. If your mom and stepdad were doing really well and suddenly their house got hit by a giant limb, you would be there with a checkbook on day one. That's who you are. Yep. But you can't keep showing up to the bar of a friend who's struggling with an alcohol addiction and saying, all right, I'm going to buy this round and then you got to go. Yeah. And into that same analogy, you've been kind.

But you've been kind. You said, I'll pay for therapy. I'll pay for rehab. Yeah. And if they say, you don't want to go. They don't want it. Yeah. Yeah, I offered to pay for financial peace. No, they don't want it. I don't even want to do it. I don't even want to do it because I don't think she'll do it.

Yeah, and they won't. And they don't, they don't want your help. I mean, they don't want your advice. They want your money. And that means it's not a relationship. It's, it's transactional. And that breaks my heart for you because everyone needs their mom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if you like the adult. Yeah. You 100% are the adult. And that means. means you have to act like the adult. And when our toddlers, I never, it never ceases to amaze me when people are like, man, my 10 year old only wants ice cream. I'm like, yes, they're 10 and ice cream's awesome. They need adults in their lives to say, hey, we can't do that all the time.

And similarly, you are. You're the adult now. And you have to say, hey, I'm not giving you any more money. And then you're going to have to go home with your husband and be real sad that your mom put you in this position. I hate it for you. Yeah, and if you give her more money, she's going to be wasteful with it. And that's just going to add to any resentment or any feelings of, you know, any negative feelings that you already have towards her. Hey, you guys, did you know that there are thousands of data brokers whose entire business is collecting and selling personal information? Things like your home address, your phone number, and even your relatives' names. You guys, that is just crazy.

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That's join deleteme.com slash Ramsey. All right, back to the phone lines. We go where we have Dakota, who's in Memphis, Tennessee. What's going on, Dakota? How are y'all doing today? Doing pretty good. How can we help? I have about 30,000 in debt, roughly. Okay. It's really just my truck payment. I have all my credit cards paid off.

I have a couple other vehicles. Everything's paid off, but I want to pay off my truck, and I want to start saving for a house. I need to know what to do to do that. Okay. I love that you're interested in paying off your vehicle. Your vehicle, why do you have multiples? What other vehicles do you have?

I have a 1993-7-3-I-D-I diesel truck. I have a motorcycle and a couple full-wheelers. Oh, boy. You like them wheels, don't you? Yes, sir. What's your income to have all these? You better be making a million bucks, homie. No, just terrible with money.

Well, at least you're honest. Hey, dude. Yeah. Admission is the first step. Okay, so tell me, again, tell me what are you earning? I'm making about $3,200 a month after taxes. Okay, so I'm just going to put you on blast. My screen says that this truck has a 30% interest rate.

Is that true? You left that little part out. Did you buy it from the mob? What did you do? I don't, I'm not really for sure why they gave it to me. It's such a high interest rate. I didn't have a co-signer. It was a year ago, so I was right.

I just turned 21. No, no, no, wait, wait. You said I'm not sure why they gave it to me. I want to know why did you take it? Why did you receive? I was going to travel on the road and, you know, be a welder out on the road. Well, my dad got cancer, so I came off the road, so I'd come back to making regular people money. Got you.

I know, but you just walked into a truck dealership and they sold you a truck. And just is it like a, was it like a payday lot or is this like a dealership? It was an actual dealership out in Mississippi. And they rolled you up for 30%? Yes, sir. Wow. Okay. Man, whoever did that is a terrible, terrible person taking advantage of a 21-year-old kid who's trying to take care of his dad with cancer.

I won't say what I'm thinking in my head because I'm on the radio right now, but that's a, that's a, terrible, terrible person took advantage of you like that. Yes, sir. Sorry. Well, you live in a lot. Hopefully, you'll better come. Hey, and you know what? That's right.

The path forward is, okay, you took advantage of me, you got went in on me, but I stepped in the ring. I signed that paper. You're right. Now, what am I going to do next? So good on you, brother. Right. That's the right way to handle it.

Now you got a mess. Let's just go walk through it and clean it up. Yes, sir. So when you pay your pay, how much is your payment? 800 a month. Okay. Man. All right. The only way you're going to get out of this is to just quickly blast through this. That's the only way. Or you can turn around and sell it. But how upside down are you? Yeah. I know that you are. I'm not upside down at all right now. I mean, I'm making enough to pay my truck payment, pay my insurance and have a little bit of fun with the money and everything else. It's just. Upside down, meaning how much is that truck, if you went and sold it today, how much would you get for that money?

minus what you owe on it. Oh, I'd be up, I down about $10,000. Okay. Okay, so here's the plan. I want you quickly. Today, tomorrow, I want you to go to your local credit union, and I want you to say, can you please, somehow I got into this crazy loan, I want to sell the vehicle, can you please give me a loan for $10,000?

That way, when you go and you sell this car for what it's worth, you can close that gap and be able to get the title. you can be able to pay it off and have a clear title on it. So that's what you need. You need $10,000. And then in the meantime, you've got another truck, you've got four-wheelers, you've got you've got other ways to get yourself around town until you can use your income to save up, I don't know, $6,000. Something tells me you're good at working on vehicles.

So get yourself like a $6,000 or $7,000 truck or car and let that be your beater that you drive around town until you can save up and kind of get yourself on track. Does your dad, is he feeling better? Is he doing well? He's got a cancer appointment This coming Monday He's got another surgery This will be his fourth one

Does he have a car you can use in the meantime? He does But he's disabled And he's always at the house So I'd hate to leave him at the house with nothing Yeah, but if he's not going anywhere I'm trying to give you options And you wouldn't be the only person

Cruze in Memphis on a four-wheeler I'm in Nashville So that was my Memphis dick but yeah man you're going to have to just swallow all of your ego and all your pride and all of the things that you think had made you a man at 21 a big truck four-wheeler's toys and you're going to have to say the thing that makes me a man at 21 is absolute freedom right right and you know like we don't I don't think we're going to have to convince you to do this because you know 30% is just astronomical and for your income that you're bringing in I mean it's just going to

it's just going to eat your lunch. And you're going to hate driving. You probably already do hate driving it because it's just, it's so detrimental to anything you're trying to build right now. Right. I go for about 250 bucks a weekend diesel.

Do you use your truck for work? Yes, sir. It's my daily driver. I know, but do you, is it have like a welding rig on the back or is this, could you do the same job with a Prius? I could do the same job with Prius. All right.

And brother, it's Prius tax time. You got to drive a Prius for a year. That's your tax. That's your stupid tax. I'm just playing. You don't got to do that. But you do need to get that loan. Will you do it?

I can try. My credit is $650 or $6.60 right now. Listen, dude. Here's the thing. I don't care how you need to get this loan. Nothing's going to be worse than 30%. No. And you're not close to a house right now, man.

So set that dream aside for a second. Yeah. You could put the $10,000 anywhere else. and it's going to be better than what you're paying right now on this car loan. Or could you sell both those four-wheelerers and come up with $10 grand on the sale of those? Oh, yeah, that's a great idea. That's an even better idea, John. Not a chance I could probably sell my motorcycle. How much is that worth?

Seven. Yes, today. Today. Put it on the market. Okay. And here's the thing. If you think about buying a house right now, that's like you are out in the ocean and the ship had a hole in it and you're treading water, and you're trying to get online on your phone and buy curtains for a beach house.

like your thing you should be worrying about now is swimming to shore yeah what about your other diesel truck what's that worth um about 4,000 it's an old old truck's got a lot high miles that's your new that's your new daily driver yeah that's your new daily driver so yeah this is this is even better we sell the motorcycle i would still put the four-wheelers up because who knows maybe you can close that gap and get the 3,000 i don't know what a four-wheelers worth but you need 3,000 to go with the 7000 then you sell the $30,000 truck, and you've got your diesel truck, your older ones sitting there ready for you to drive.

This is what's called a clean slate. Like that gives you a completely fresh start. And it's not what you were envisioning, but man. What's your trade, brother? I'm a welder, welder slash heavy machine operator. Okay, can I tell you right now in our current world, a 21-year-old who is a licensed welder and heavy machine operator that has no debt.

You know what you can do? Anything you want. You're one of the freest men on the planet. That sounds real nice. But right now you got a dad who's struggling with cancer and you have a four-wheeler dealership saying, I don't care what's going on. You owe us money.

You go to work. You have a diesel truck, evil people who just sold you a diesel truck over your head. And they're like, I don't care if your old man is getting sick, is about to pass away. You have to go to work because you owe us money, right? And we're cutting all those chains today. Right.

That sounds like a plan to me. Dude. Welcome to your freedom, good man. Yeah, I'm proud of you. Listen, John, here's the thing. Whenever we get calls like this and the solution is so sweeping and it's just so extreme, it's like sell the car, sell the motorcycle, drive the old truck, get rid of the four-wheelers. I'm always so proud of the people.

Now, don't get me wrong. Like, when we say that, I know they're going to get off the phone and they're going to sit in their car or they're going to sit, you know, in their break room and be like, okay, like the true test happens now where he has the next, you know, 30 minutes to an hour to really think about what we said and am I actually going to do it? Don't think. Just go. Just go.

Just go. Just go. Just do it. The people who, and we're not saying just listen to us and don't think. But you know what we're saying is right. know it's the right move. Don't talk yourself out of it. Strike while the iron is hot. Change your life today. Just go ahead and do it. You won't regret it. Hey guys, George Camel here. Listen, we need to talk about your phone plan because for a lot of you

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Let's go back to the phone lines where we have Leanne, who's in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. What's going on, Leanne? How can we help today? Well, I need to find out if profit potential is really, worth the liability and worry. My husband's father had a recent illness quickly, put him in a nursing home. The siblings, there's four of them, decided they wanted to do a ladybird deed to predict the only asset, which is his house from creditors.

He has $30,000 in credit card debt, no savings. There's a $140,000 loan on this house, and it's probably worth $350,000. The siblings are going to have to split the cost to keep this house running. If it's sold, the creditors or Medicare can take it. That's who's going to be paying for his nursing home. and so that's telling that we've been told that that will be $400 apiece per month to take care of this house. It's 15 hours away. The profit might be $20,000 to $30,000 when he passes away.

One of the siblings has had over $30,000 in gambling debt. There's also two children from a deceased sibling, so it will be divided six ways. After it's divided six ways, that's the $20,000 profit? Right. And who knows how long we're going to have to pay this $400 a month. I'm the only one that works. My husband had an injury. He'll be getting retirement soon, but he can't work.

So it's me paying the $400. If something does happen to my husband before his father passes away, his proceeds will go to his children. It won't go to you? No, it will go to the children. And I guess that's the way that works. Are you expecting your husband not to make it in the next two to three years? Well, he has some significant health problems. So there is a risk for that.

When I look at the nursing home situation, most people, it's a two and a half to three years stay. Like, that's the maximum that you can usually count on. That's just average time. So if I were going to do the math on this, I would calculate it at, okay, if I pay 400 bucks a month, you know, for two to three years, that puts me in this, you know, X amount of dollars, what, $12,000? And then I stand to make at that point, I don't know, $10,000. $8,000 off this entire deal and off this entire headache if I get the $20,000.

So that's kind of where my brain immediately goes. Let me dig it. Do you have $400 a month? Yes, but there's a lot of resentment on my part because he didn't take care of his finances.

Sure. I get that. I don't think I just don't want to be on the deed. You don't have to get it. I would not do this as an investment. I would do this as a way for me, like, in service to my husband, who feels like he needs to take care of his dad at the tune of $400 a month for the next 18 to 24 months. If you get some money back, yippie-doo.Ape, I wouldn't count on it. I would look at it that way.

The only thing is his dad's going to be taken care of. The siblings are using this as a savings. a way of savings to keep the house. I know, hold on. And they can do that. They can do that. Get out of their heads and out of their minds. Resentment is, is baggage you're carrying, right?

You've heard the old AA saying, you're drinking poison, hoping that they will get sick. I'm going to choose to send $400 to my father-in-law, me and my husband are together, and we're going to send $400 to take care of him. His siblings have been, have had their struggles. They've always had struggles. They're always going to have struggles. I'm not getting in their mess. I'm not doing business deals.

with them, yada, yada, yada. That's all wise and good. I'm not looking at this as a, what, uh, and by the way, he technically is getting taken care of, but he's getting taken care of with your tax dollar. You're paying for this in anyway, right? Correct. So that's another thing that's if you don't want to be part of this, you don't have to be part of it. And, and you know, you asked a very clear question. Like, is there basically a return on investment for me if I do this? Yeah, maybe you come out with $8,000, but I don't think that's, worth it for you. You don't know that you're going to get this money. You don't even want to be a part of this. Can you, can your husband just say, hey, we, we want out of this deal? You all split it and do

your thing with it? Yeah. I would do that. Is there a liability with this house? Can someone come back on us? On you? You're not on the deed. You're not on the deed. Right. If they're not on the deed. But the husband would be put on the deed. No, no, no. He can go in and say, I don't want anything to do with this deal. I'm foregoing my piece of this, my potential piece of this. Best of luck to you all. Yes. That's exactly what I would do. Because to your point, he's not, and I don't know what you guys have going on with your personal finances, but he's not the one paying for it. You would be the one paying for it. And you're saying, I don't want to do it. We only owe for our house and our vehicle. Yeah. Please, yeah. If you can convince him, I don't know if he's like dead set on this, but if you

can convince him, I don't want to be a part of this. I think that's the answer. And y'all will come out looking like the good guys. Tell his siblings, hey, you know what? We're doing well. We want y'all to split it amongst yourselves. Yeah, there you go. That's even better. That's even better.

And this ends up, by the way, this ends up in multiple lawsuits because somebody's cousin of one of these stepkids is going to be like, well, I want a piece and they're going to have a friend who knows a guy who will write a legal brief. I mean, not a brief, but a legal letter. Just, yeah, stay away. Stay away from the whole thing. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, John, another social question I have here in my hand. Let's see here.

You love them social media. I do. I like them because people sometimes they don't want to call in. They just want to talk to us here. All right. Joni from TikTok says, is hiring a credit repair company a smart move? No. I don't have a lot of current debt.

I just have some really old things on my credit that I want to get rid of. There's that old Seinfeld exchange when Kramer comes in, he's like, they write it off. And Seinfeld's like, they write off of what? He's like, I don't know. They just write it. Like, it doesn't just go away. Just pay it. Yeah, I would say pay it. And you can probably, if it's really, really old, you can probably settle it. Settle it. Because that's what they're going to do. By the way, let's talk about that a minute because we get a lot of credit repair, debt settlement companies, like that whole thing. And just a reminder, they do what you can do. They just make deals. They hold the money for a long time.

so that you are in default, basically. It wrecks your credit. And then they go in and make deals, which is exactly what you can do. And you're already in the position to do that because the thing's been sitting around for however long, old on your credit, just call them up.

And however much you owe, let's say you owe $1,000 on something, save up $400 cash and say, this is what I'll give you. They weren't expecting to get your money anyway at this point. A credit repair agency is like this. Let's say you were driving down the highway and you had a flat tire and you pulled over.

you can call a tow truck and negotiate with a tow truck or you can call a credit repair company. They'll get back in your car and they'll drive it down the highway into a brick wall and then they will call the tow truck company for you. That's what they'll do. Like just wreck it for me. They'll take your credit and they'll hold your money. They'll destroy your financial picture and then they'll get the same deal you were going to get anyway. Just get $400 in cash, call them.

Yeah, that's right. You can do this. I believe in you. Again, John, there is such a theme on this show about being in control. This is like the fourth one that we've talked about of just take control of your destiny. You don't need anybody to do it for you. No. And if you call a creditor, an old creditor and they say, hey, this $1,000 debt's now worth $8,000 in fees and whatever. Say, I got $400 in cash. I'll pay it right now. And they'll say, well, I'm not authorized. Hang up. Just hang up to phone. Hang up and call somebody else back. Call the number right back. Be as annoying to them as they are to you. Yeah. And pretty soon, they'll settle it. And when they do, just get it in writing, laminate that bad boy and keep it for life in the folder, uh, marked, you know, open in case of emergency. And it's there for you.

No, we wish we could get to every single call here on the Ramsey show, every single question, but it's just not possible. So if you do have a money question and you want an answer for your situation, head over to our website and use Ask Ramsey. Ask Ramsey is our free AI tool that's built and trained on proven Ramsey principles. You'll get an answer the same way we'd answer it right here on the show. Ask your question today at Ramsey Solutions.com or just click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast or YouTube. All right, Aaron in Minneapolis, Minnesota is online three.

What's up, Aaron? How can we help? Hey, how are you guys doing today? Chilling. How can we help? So I just recently turned 19. I am working full-time. I have been dating this girl for almost two years now, and we are about to fully move in together. She's full-time going to college, you had a university, and whatnot,

and I live very close to her campus, and so usually pretty much throughout the entire time of her being a freshman, she's pretty much just stayed on my place all the time. even though she's technically lived at the dorm, but now she's for sure, like, coming up soon on this next lease. She's fully going to be moving in with me and my roommates, and we just have some financial disagreements. With you and your roommates?

I don't really know how to resolve. How many roommates do you already have, dude? So I currently have three roommates. Oh, my, she loves you. She's about to live with four. Wow, this is different. Yeah, I got, I got, really lucky. My rent is very

cheap, obviously having to do with the fact that I do have roommates. How many bedrooms is this place? Four bedrooms. Wow. Hey, if you actually see a future with you and this girl, don't do this. Please don't do this. She's going to see too much. She can't unsee the things that she's going to see and experience. Yeah, so just a little bit, go ahead.

Just listen, dude, I was 19-2. I was head over heels in love when I was 19-2. Please don't do this. What's her name? Her name is Madeline. Okay, I know you just made that up. Hey, I'm proud of you for protecting her. Madeline, wherever you are, please don't do this on behalf of women everywhere. I'm scared for you. I'm making jokes, but seriously, with John, I'm with John. Please don't do this. There's no way that this is good. There's no good parts to this in many, many ways.

Yeah, so here's kind of where I stand on it. So the main reason for it, and then again, I've gotten really lucky, one, my rent is super cheap, and we have gotten along, not just me, but me and her, because like I said, she's been over in my house constantly. Of course you get along. Oh, yeah, of course, of course. But yeah, and so we get along very well with my roommates. We always hang out together.

That's different from living together. It's so different. Very true. But, again, it's kind of been like living with her. You tell me, hey, you tell me why it has to be this way. Give me three good reasons why it has to be this way. Give me one. So I am currently, like I said, I work a full-time job.

I'm not in school or anything like that. She has a part-time job, but she does not save her money. She, like I said, we're kind of on two ends of the spectrum when it comes to money and finance. So you'd be rescuing her? Pretty much. And obviously, hold on, hold on. And she would be using you. Go ahead.

Yeah, and it's just, obviously, like you mentioned, you know, young and in love, I'm 19. You know, I want a future with her, and I'm trying to overcome some of these things. I'm trying to work things out the best way possible. You know, we're from about an hour and a half away from where we currently live. We're both in the same hometown, and she got the opportunity. to go to school up at this place. And I didn't want, if I didn't move out, I was just going to be living with my parents and I didn't want that.

I wanted to get out and kind of. So you moved there because she was there? Pretty much. Okay. That's all good. That's there. Listen, I'm going to repeat back to you what you said. And I want you to really think about each one of these because this, my job here is to make

you think. I'm not going to be able to convince you by giving you my opinion. I just want you to think about the things that you said. First off, you told me, when I said, hey, give me three good reasons why this is a great idea, you told me, and I'm going to say I'm in reverse order. You said, well, she was moving there, so I just moved there too. She had a plan for her life. I didn't really have much of a plan, so I just went where she was. That was the last thing you told me. Then you said, well, it's kind of convenient because her lease is up. And so since her lease is up, that's kind of like

a convenient thing. So I'll just roll with that. then the next thing you told me was well she doesn't really work much so whatever she's doing now she's probably not going to be over to afford it so I can afford it so I'll just do that too and I'll just rescue her and she can use me so when you give me those types of reasons John all of those are just kind of like a I'm just letting life I'm just rolling I'm just letting anything happened that I want to happen, right? Yeah. And here's the thing, dude, we want y'all to be successful long term.

I want this to work out for you. I like the idea of moving to go be with the person you want to be with. I love that. And you're working your full-time job. But A, you're bringing her a 19-year-old young woman into a house with three dudes who aren't going to school, who live very different lives. you are not aligned on how you'll spend money, how you'll earn money, you're not aligned on core values. And you're not aligned on who's going to pay for what, how are we going to pay?

I'm just telling you because I want this to work for y'all, dude. I'm such a romantic at heart. And I know. Don't do this. And try to think, this is a horrible thing for me to say because I don't, at 19, your brain is just not there. But if at all, you can muster up the thought of if you're, daughter said, I'm going to go live in a house with four dudes who are 19. One of which is my lover. You would, you would do the Fred Sanford and have a heart attack and fall out. That's what would happen.

Now, we dropped your call on accident. I think the call dropped. You're not here to respond to this, but just know, we love you, dude. We're rooting for you. We're on your side. We want the best for you. Don't, don't do this. Please don't do this. He's not going to do it. Let's go to April. She's in Cleveland, Ohio. April. How can we help today? Hi. Well, my son is 22 years old. He just received a settlement in February. So we are discussing things that he should do. And he already has done some stuff. But we're not sure what to do with the rest that he has from that we already put in investment. And he opened a growth savings. He did investment. And then he did pay off some things that he had to pay off and then he got a car. But we don't know what to do with the rest that. How old is your son? 22. Okay.

And how much money are we talking from the settlement? He got 250,000. What happened? He received a Tdap shot when he was 10, and he got a blood disorder and he had to get his spleen removed. He's good now, but it came back that it was from the shot. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay, well, you do me the... You're asking a money question, and we'll get to that right here real quick, but I want you to do me a huge favor. Yes. You've been taking care of this boy since he was young because you're a good mom, especially through medical stuff. I want you to put your son in the driver's seat of this situation. He's a 22-year-old young man. And so I want you to in your home, I want you to tell your son, hey, you know what? I've been saying, what are we going to do with this money?

This is your money. and I will sit by you. I'll help you make wise choices, but you're 22 years old. A 22-year-old man needs his mommy to sit in the backseat or in the driver, I mean, in the passenger seat, at best, preferably not in the car at all.

Exactly. And I know this is hard, but that's my two cents there. Jay, what do you think with the money? Is he responsible? I get the sense that he's responsible. He is responsible. He wants to grow. Yeah, I believe that.

And if I were in your shoes, it sounds like he's paid off his debt. He doesn't have any more debt. It sounds like he has a reasonable emergency fund set aside, yes? Yeah, so he's a barber. My husband and his dad has been a barber for 28 years. Amazing. So now he's a barber and they're at the same shop. So he's making a reasonable income?

As long as he's making a reasonable income, he's set aside some savings. I would take this money. And honestly, the next big goal for me, and if I were him, I'd be like, I want to buy a house. And I want to buy, I want to put as much down on that house as possible. Maybe I can even buy it completely in cash. And if that is a shorter than five-year horizon, which I think it will be, I'd park it in a H.YSA until that day comes. Welcome back to the Ramsey show here in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. We're going back to the phone lines where we have Susan, who's in Huntsville, Alabama.

All right, Susan, you're on the line. How can we help? Hi, how are y'all? Doing great. What's up? Good. I'm excited. Y'all are my favorite host. Yes. We're going to clip that and send it to our colleagues. Don't tell Dave. We're just needing some help navigating our debt.

We have about 37,000 in debt, and that's including like card debt and credit cards. And we started in January, listening to y'all and trying to, to attack those debts and we're down $5,000 in the credit cards already that we've paid. Great. But every time, it just seems like every time we have that $1,000, like life is happening and somebody, we both needed new tires and like our fridge went out last weekend and we didn't have the $1,000 saved back up. So it felt like a stand, but I had to go put it on a Lowe's credit card.

So now it just feels like we're adding to, you know, it feels like we're just taking two steps backwards. So anyways, I just feel sick knowing we're further into debt now than we were. And, yeah, it just makes me nervous, not feeling prepared when things calm up. So I just wondered if y'all could help me navigate that. Yeah. So here's what I want to say. You know, part of, and we can do a better job of saying this, But when you decide, hey, you know what, I'm going to work the baby steps.

I'm going to do this thing. I'm going to pay off the debt. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, almost the number one thing that you need to do next to budgeting. The number one thing you have to do is you have to look yourself in the mirror and say, I draw a line in the sand. I don't borrow money anymore. I just, I do not borrow money anymore unless I'm like John Q and my son is in the, you know,

remember that movie with Denzel Washington? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you see what I'm saying? I draw a line in the sand. And I just don't borrow money. And the way the baby steps are, especially baby step one, it's very unique because it's $1, and I get it in today's world. People are going, you're off your rocker, Jade and John, if you think that $1,000 is going to get it.

But the way I explain it, Susan, is a thousand dollars is exactly the amount that it takes to turn on the creative part of your brain. to go, okay, if something happens, I actually don't have the money to do this, what else can I do? And so when you take debt off the table, suddenly you go, well, I don't have to go to Lowe's and buy a brand new fridge. I could go, I don't even know if Craigslist exists anymore, but I could go on Facebook Marketplace and I could buy a slightly used one for the meantime that is maybe $800, but I can scrape together that cash. Or $300 and scrape together that cash. do you see what I'm saying? That is that is the gritty challenge of the baby steps. It causes you to just turn on that brain and go, okay, what can I do? What can I do? Where can I go? And that's what I want to challenge you from here going forward. I'm not telling you that to beat you up. I'm letting you know that's the way it feels and that's the way it's going to feel. Everything is going to feel inconvenient. Most things are going to feel like a challenge. And that's good. Like that's how you know it's working. So from here, from here, here on out, that's got to be the line. That's got to be the feeling. Otherwise, to your point, it will be two steps forward, one step back, or one step forward, two steps back if you don't

make that call. So going forward, we got to do that. So when you went, so the 37,000 that you quoted me, is that including the new fridge? Yeah. Okay, great. So now we've got a car. How much of the 37,000 is the car? So we have two car payments. One of them is, 339 a month. We have about 7K left on it. And then we have a minivan for $630 a month with about $27,000

left. Okay. And last time I checked, we're about 9K underwater on it. Oh, boy. Okay. And on the and then the credit cards are how much the rest of it? So the Neelos card is 2K.

Okay. And then we have about a thousand on another credit card left. Okay. So my, the number one place I'm looking is at this $27,000 car because it's $630 a month. You desperately need that money. Yeah. Yeah. It's hurting you bad. It's hurting you bad. And because what's your income every month? So my husband does work a lot of overtime or he does work overtime here and there throughout the month. So it does vary. But we're bringing in about 4,500 to 5500. I'm my each month yeah I mean to have that $630 back that would be like breathing again so what my goal would be and it's up to you how how you guys do this but I would be trying to get out of that $27,000 car and you could you're going to have to play this just right otherwise it's not going to be worth it

but you could say okay I'm 9,000 underwater can I get a loan for the difference and can I find something that's I don't know. While I'm at it, can I ask for another maybe 4,000? So I'm 13 in and I just kind of buy a junker or I ask for 5,000 more and now I'm 14,000 in and I get a junker. And now instead of owning $27,000 to a bank, I owe $14,000 or $15,000 to a bank. I would do that. Okay. And you start driving husband's car and he drives the junker.

Yeah, he drives the junker. I don't know. His is like in a rough. then you're both driving you're both driving junkers for a while and listen listen to what jade's saying like i want you to paint the picture of your life right now you have two cars that you can't afford with brand new tires on them yeah you went and bought a two thousand dollars which is a pretty nice fridge the other side of this thing if you if you have like uh like stranger things if you go to the upside down version of this you have one car with all the same tires on it you just know man we are

we're six months away. You have one tire that you got replaced, and it doesn't match the other three. You have a $500 fridge that you got off Facebook Marketplace, and you shook hands, and that guy said it worked, and you sell this minivan, and you're driving two clunkers. A, you don't owe anybody anything. And B, you look around and say, hey, husband, you and I, we want a different life than this. Let's start being intentional and saving money so we can. get another car here, a nicer fridge there, and you start taking control of your life back.

Like part of the thousand bucks, part of having one new tire on a car instead of all four new tires is you don't want to stay like that forever. It's a reminder. It's more gasoline in the tank to keep going down this route of freedom, not this route of let's just solve for today and let all these other people speak into our life, all these other banks, all these other lending agencies. You get what I'm saying? Right. Yeah.

It's not cool for the first year. It's just not. It's miserable. And for you guys, the good news is you're not going to stay there for long. No. You're not there long at all because once you do this car deal and instead of paying $630 a month, maybe you're paying $230 a month or $330 a month. You get half that money back. And now you're able to use that money along with your other margin and you can knock out the $1,000 credit card in one month. And then the next month, maybe you're able to knock out the $2,000. Like you're going to be done with this. I'm saying I think you can knock this out in a year, but this is with you guys working so hard, him taking all the overtime he can get,

you picking up extra work, you guys selling everything you can think of. Go through the garage, go through the attic, go through the basement, look at the kid's old clothes, can I take this, can I put it on Poshmark? Can I put it on, you know, one of those consignments? Everything you can do, anything you can do

to sell something and get this money. This is a 12-month play for you guys if you go hard in the paint. Dave Ramsey here, most people stay stuck with their money because they're not paying attention to it. Most people are living paycheck to paycheck, stressed out and broke. Don't be most people. You work way too hard to be broke and feel broke, and you deserve to have something to show for it.

That's why we built the every dollar budget app. It gives you a personalized plan for your money that shows you how to free up extra money every month and use it to beat debt and build lasting wealth. Plus, you get real coaches guiding you through your plan step by step. Look, most people hearing this will just keep hoping something changes, but not you. You're ready to make change happen, starting now. Go download every dollar in the app store or Google Play and start for free today. The Ramsey Show Question of the Day is brought to you by Y Refi.

Defaulted private student loans can leave you feeling stuck and overwhelmed, but Y ReFi helps you explore refinancing. options with a low, fixed rate, and a payment based on what you can actually afford. Visit yrefi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey. Remember, it may not be available in all states. Today's question comes from Greg in Arkansas. How do we determine the best car insurance coverage for our two teenagers? We provided each of them with a used car to get them through high school and college. We own the cars and they each have a value of under 500, I mean 500, $5,000.

We're currently paying for full coverage on them, but I'm not sure if that makes sense. What's your recommendations on how to cover them adequately and not spend an arm and a leg for insurance? Well, having two teenagers, I just added a teenager to my car insurance. So adding two. That's tough. It made you feel some type of way, John? Yeah. My rule of thumb here is my son's driving a used truck, and it has liability insurance on it. So I've got enough cash in my emergency fund that if he wrecks that car, I can replace a similar

cheap car. A couple thousand bucks. Yeah, you got two $5,000 cars. I would personally, in my house, I'd put liability coverage on them. I wouldn't carry comprehensive coverage. And the difference is liability pays for the car that your teenager might hit, but not for your car that just got wrecked. Comprehensive pays for both.

And so, yeah, that's what I would do in this situation. if you have a car with payments on it, usually they force you to have comprehensive because they want to make sure they get their money back on their car if you wreck it. I have comprehensive on me and my wife's cars. They're nicer cars.

And so if something happened to them, I want to be able to go get them repaired. But for a couple of cheapo beater cars, like you're going to give your high school kit, like yeah, I'd put liability on it and roll with it. Yeah, and I go through Xander. Yeah, Zander does all my, they do all of our insurance.

Our term life insurance, our car insurance, everything. Yeah, they'll find you the best rates. Very, very good. Let's go to Casey in Dallas, Texas. Hi, Casey. How can we help? Hey, so, well, hi, first off. Hi.

Hi, Casey. So me, wife, two toddlers moved in with her grandmother to pay off debt exponentially fast and start saving. And now we have an expecting third in the middle of July. and looking for some advice on a reliable family car. We just paid off all of our credit card debt. Still some student loans left. How much student loans left? How much debt total left?

12.2. Thousand? Yep. Okay. $12,200? Yes, my wife's school loan. Okay, cool. And how's the arrangement with Grandma going?

Great. I mean, we had to swallow the humble pill. You know, we lose some. personal space, had to get a storage unit to throw some stuff in, but it's, it's honestly been a huge blessing. How long are you going to do it? Well, that's the question of the day for me, but for now, it's to finish paying off the school loans, hopefully save up enough for a family car, then start saving for a house.

Oh, that's a long timeline. That could be a minute. How much money do you bring in? So I bring in about, so I have a day job, and I do freelance photo and video work, and I bring in about $4,500 a month. Okay. And is mom home with kids, or is she out working in the workforce? Mom home is home with kids.

She care takes us on the side, and she brings in about an extra $400 a month. Okay. So if your initial question is how long should we continue to do this, I think that I would aim to, because how much have you paid off so far? You've got $12,000 to go. How much have you done before, up until this? point. How long did it take? So we moved in December 1st.

As of two, four weeks ago, two, three weeks ago, we paid off 13,000 credit card debt. Okay. I'm going to tell you what I would do. I think that I admire when people are willing to sacrifice to win. I think this is

an imposition on you as a family and as a married couple. It's just really tough to stay in a position like this for long. And so I would try to, I would really try to cut it short. When do you think you'll have the 12,000 paid off? Crunch in numbers, I can do that in about four months. Okay.

I get some more freelance work to come in. For sure, I can expedite that. I would not extend this to buying a new car, saving for a down payment. I would not extend this that far because what this means is, and we've gotten a couple of these calls today, so this is nothing on you. everything is a series of choices. And so for you guys, your careers are a series of choices, you know, starting a family and the amount of children is a series of choices. And how that affects your financial timeline is a result of that choice, and thereby

you're choosing that as well. And what I would hate is for you to pass that off onto grandma because it's part of you guys' choices. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. And even though she's probably like, oh, I'm so glad to have them, I get to be by my grandkids, da-da-da-da. If you kind of flip the script for a moment and you go, well, if I had a buddy or if I had a family member who was like, hey, let me move in with you for a little while, I want to pay off my debt. I want to save up for a car. You know, I want to get a down. You'd be like, hold up. Wait, wait, wait a second. So there's a thin line between, do you see what I'm saying?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. What's the, I would want to, I'd be more willing to push the loan, pay the monthly, maybe a little bit, get the family car to the way and then save for the house or at least. for a good size down payment. You've mentioned the family car by having a third kid here in a few months, is that going to exceed the cars you'll have? Yeah, so that's the problem is we only have two little four-seater's sedan.

So we've got to get a bigger vehicle, which we want to sell one of them anyways, so it kind of works out. I was going to say, yeah, I would save up the cash, and the discipline you're going to have to, you and your wife are going to have to put on the table here is 100% you're going to want to, want to go get a brand new Tahoe or a brand new suburban or a brand new minivan. Y'all just can't afford

that. And so we're going to have to find a minivan with 150,000 miles on it that's a good car, a good Toyota Sienna or something. And it's going to have other kids' stains on the carpet or whatever. But that's what we can afford. And we're going to pay cash for it. And then we're not going to get ourselves further behind. Yeah. And by the way, that's all good. It'll be good. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's a choice y'all are making. So this isn't a thing that's happening to y'all. It's like, no, we picked that. minivan because we choose freedom as a family over shiny things that go down in value, right? And can I ask a question, Casey, I just want to make sure I'm understanding.

You're living, are you, when you say grandma, is it your kid's grandma? So like her mother or is it your, your mother's grandmother? It's my wife's grandma. So it would be my kids, great grandma. Oh, wow. So are you all doing caretaking too? Yeah, is that what, is that the arrangement? Yeah, it's kind of the win when where, you know, she became a widow in 2020.

the house she can't keep up with. There's an upstairs. She can't even walk up the stairs. She's been lonely depressed. Okay, so it's not a bad deal. It's not bad. Yeah, okay, that does make it a little different. How old is she? See, she's, it'll be 80 this year. Are you expecting to inherit this house?

No, and we do not want it. No, absolutely not. There's a whole, no, no. I was just trying to see if there is any other parts to this. Jade, I could see a world where, with a caretaking arrangement, you could do this for three or four years if it works out for your family. family, you've got the whole upstairs. You kind of have your own separate life, but y'all get to... That feels different.

I won't lie. Yeah, and she's brightened up once she gets to live with her great grandkids. They've greeted her every morning, so she's definitely livened up more. Yeah, that's cool. Like I said, it's been a great win-win. And that can be a really remarkable experience for young kids if there's just no toxicity and, you know, you know what I mean? It's not a gross arrangement.

Y'all aren't living in a 3-2 and, like, it's everybody's got some space, but also everybody's involved in the caretakes. So that can be pretty amazing. Yeah, I think that is good. You know, I'm going to go back on my ruling here and I'm going to say that I'm okay with this. As long as you guys are okay with this, it sounds like she's being served. It sounds like it's a good thing for your family. And for that reason, yeah, I would write it out and I'd go back, yeah, to your original plan of saving for a down payment. You know, it's funny, John, financially, um, multi-generational households, a lot of times were kind of like, yeah, get out of that. But that used to be the way. That was the only way. That was the only way. Is you group up with your folks and you're

right. It's so good for kids. It's good for kids. Good for grandparents. But you just got to, you got to structure it and do it the right way. Yeah. No enabling. Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to Ramsey Solutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today.

That's ramsysolutions.com. So if you're working the baby steps, the best and fastest way to do it is by using every dollar. trust me, it's more than just our budgeting app. Now the plan is built right in. Baked right in. I love that. You can track your progress. Plus, get personalized recommendations and coaching for your situation.

That'll help you free up more money and work the plan even faster. It's truly like having one of us in your pocket, walking with you every day, showing you the next step and holding you accountable. So start every dollar for free today by downloading it in the app store or Google Play. All right. We got Julian in El Paso, Texas on the line. What's up, Julie? Oh, yes, I'm calling because I had a house fire in November of last year and the insurance company is going to pay me some money to repair, but it's pretty severe.

So I'm wondering if I should use that check to just rebuild and do with the process and keep my normal monthly payment or if I should take that check, pay off that mortgage for that home and use the difference to put me and my son in two of the money. a new place. They're not paying you to rebuild the house? Yes, the check is for rebuilding the house. It's about $310,000. But with the war and all materials increasing rapidly, they cut the check in November, in December, excuse me. So I don't know if it'll still continue to cover the cost of the construction,

honestly. And I'm kind of in panic mode after the fire. So I don't want to make any decision. decisions. Yeah. Emotionally. Yeah. So did everybody

get out safe? Yes. Can I just tell you, man? Got the two dogs out. Good. You got everybody out safe? Yes. Can I just shout you out?

Good on you, dad. That's what, I hate to gender this, but that's what dads do, man. You run back in and you get everybody out. I'm proud of you. Sure did. That's good, man.

And I appreciate you. recognizing inside your own chest, hey, I'm still in fight or flight from that deal and I'm not making rational choices. I need to get some wisdom. And I want to shout you out too. That shows the level of... I was watching one of your guys' videos the other day

and I think Jade said, don't make emotions... Yes, yes, yes. Emotionally charged and I was like, you know what, that's it. I have to call. All right, well, I'm glad you did. So here's my... Anytime I feel a certain way about a thing,

I've got real big feelings about a thing that I think. The first place I want to do is write down that feeling I have or the feelings. I got a bunch of them. I'm kind of dramatic. And the second thing I want to do is I want to go get real on the ground information. I don't want to scroll the news sites who are screaming and yelling, trying to get headlines, trying to capture my eyeballs because they are selling me, my attention as a product.

I want to go talk to an actual contractor and get an actual bid. or two or three or four on my actual home and get a cost estimate. And once you're looking at the paper in front of you, my guess is your next right step will be pretty clear. And you're going to have to pay off the mortgage anyway, right? Yeah, yeah. Eventually, it was just in the loan process. So I had been doing the 13 payments a year thing. Okay. What did you owe?

Yeah, what do you owe on the house? I have about, I'm under 100,000. I've gotten it under 100,000. So where you all living right now? The insurance company gets you like a temporary rental. Okay. But they only do it for like a year is what they're telling me. So I'm like, okay, so I'm six months into my year.

My construction hasn't started because your contractors haven't done a lot of the pack out of my belongings and things that they're supposed to do. and I'm getting into panic mode again that since no action's being taken. I'm going to. But is the action to be taken something you should be doing or is it something they're supposed to be doing? No, it's one of their contractors that they're supposed to be sending in to pack out my house so it isn't ready for a bid and stuff like that. Okay, so you need a contract.

Their clock should not start until the house is ready to be worked on. Is that how that works? I don't know how that works but that would be my legal argument is I want you to have a bid in hand ready to rock and roll the day that this stuff is done but I don't think your clock should start

until they have finished their work right but yeah they're not just going to pay for you to have a house indefinitely while you sit around and decide what you're going to do or not do or whatever yeah they give me a one year lease in this temporary housing so that's why I'm in a panic mode you know yeah let's let's let's feel a panic and then let's you're not going to solve panic by

thinking about panic you're going to solve panic through and and you're going by going right through it action okay and if you hate this house you're scared of this house i would rather you um this may not be the wisest thing to do i'd rather you fix this house up get it rebuilt get it redone get it clean as a whistle and then choose to sell it then because you're going to pay this thing off you're going to have a burned down house on a lot that you're you're going to you own. You're going to have to do something with it, right? At some point, the HOA is going to come sue you. Somebody's going to come. Yeah, it's going to have to be rebuilt regardless.

You're going to have to do something with it. And so what I would hate for you to do is to take this money, go buy something else, be responsible for two mortgages and then get a bill from the city that says, hey, you've got to go deal with this burned out home. You can't just have a burned out house in the middle of the neighborhood, right? And the reason it seemed okay to me is because I would only have one mortgage and it'd be substantially less because I would use that. instruction money instead to pay. I know, but what we're saying is you can't just...

You can't just leave the lot burnt there. So what you're saying is out of the 310, you'd pay off the $100,000 and take the other 200 and buy something else. Is that what you were saying? Yes. And then what I would do with that is I would eventually, you know, go back to the house. They're pretty close to each other, the one that I'm eyeballing, and I would still continuously be working on it.

But I hate trusting contractors, mechanics. What money would you use? I'd like to get my own contractors' license, honestly. Yeah, but you're talking years. Yeah, and how would you fund it if you've already spent the money on a different home? With my mortgage payment pretty much that I wouldn't have. Got it, okay. Yeah, I'm with John.

I think you're going to cause yourself more headache if you don't do it this way. because now you're going to have to figure out, well, how long can this lot sit like this in my neighborhood? What does the HOA say? What does the city say? Right? You've got some, you've got... I'm afraid the city's going to come do it for you and they're going to send you a bill for $75,000. Yeah, you've got your work cut out for you now. I don't even know if this is possible. So this is something you could research. But if you're like, hey, I'll clean off the lot and I'll get it fresh. Can we sell the lot and not rebuild, right? Sell it to a developer, yeah. And then if they give you, I don't know, 100,000 for the lot, you take that and that, that makes you clear with the mortgage company.

You see what I'm saying? And now you can take. I hadn't considered that. That's where my mind is going. But again, you're going to have to research and make sure that you have the ability to do that. I don't see why you wouldn't, but just do some due diligence on that. But it seems like you don't want to live there anymore. And I totally understand that.

Let's just get creative on how to do that and you're not, and you're not be stuck with a problem later on. Does that make sense? Mm-hmm. But you're not, the meta of what we're saying is you're not working with real information. And I want you to go get, I want you to do the work to go get real information. And you can say, I don't trust contractors and whatever. You're going to have to deal with contractors. So call a couple of friends that you respect and find a guy that, or a company that you trust or that they trust, right?

Mm-hmm. And find out how much it would cost to raise the bill, like this house. to the ground. Call a couple of real estate developers and ask them how much they would pay you just to walk away from the thing. Okay. Right? I only felt like I was locked into like those two options and then this is opening up a lot of ideas for me. Good.

But I want you to listen, stop thinking about ideas and start getting after it. I think when you get some real data and some real information in front of you, you might find that you can re-fix this house and by the way, get it all back up to code, the wiring, everything. get it all perfect how you want it. And it might cost 150 grand. And you might still have a bunch of extra money late. Who knows? Who knows what the deal is? The point is you've got lots of options.

And I'd be on the phone with my insurance company about them following through with their responsibilities. Hey, George Camel here. So you're thinking about buying or selling your home. It's exciting, but there's a lot to think about. And all those decisions can feel overwhelming. Well, here's the good news. You don't have to tackle the process alone. Ramsey's real estate home base is the place to find all of your free tools and resources for help to get prepared to buy or sell your home with confidence.

You'll find calculators, start to finish guides, a podcast, and even an in-depth video course hosted by yours truly. What's not to love? So if you're ready to take the next steps toward your home goals, go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash real estate. That's Ramsey's Solutions.com slash real estate. All right, our Ramsey shows scripture and quote. 2 Timothy 215, also known as 215, says, do your best to present yourself to God as one approved. A worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. John Carmack said, focus is a matter of deciding what things you're not going to do.

I know that's right, John. And I'm sitting by my friend J-A-D-E, otherwise known as J. Listen, when I said it, it gave me two Corinthians vibes. And so I needed to say it back the right way. I'm beginning to read the Bible. I need to stop. I do read it, I promise. And I also know how to say numbers.

I love to Corinthians. All right. Sean is in Spokane, Washington. Sean, please get us back on track. How can we help? Hey, Jade, John. Pleasure to be talking with you. You too, man.

The crux of my question is trying to really understand stork mode. You got a kid coming? Yeah, I do. Yeah, we are expecting. Congrats. That's exciting. Yeah, baby is due in October.

Are you doing all right? Is it baby number one? For me, yes. Okay. You're feeling it. It's me baby one. Hey, can I just tell you your panic is real,

your fear is real, and I'm telling you on the other side of this thing, like another chamber opened up in my heart that I didn't know existed. I did not know love like I thought I knew it. So buckle up, man. It's about to be the ride of your life. I'm excited for you. Yeah, it's all good.

Thank you. I'm super excited too. My life is healthy. Baby's healthy. So all those good check boxes are there. Perfect. Winning. Good.

So how can we help? You want to explain stork mode, huh? So that means you guys, what do you have going on? You've got some debt? So backstory is. two years ago, we got debt-free, and then last year we were all one income. My wife was working. She finished school. And so now we're back to two incomes. And then now we're expecting. So in terms of saving for the emergency fund, we're about two months in terms of that savings total.

Baby step one or baby step two? Or I mean, or baby step three. Okay, great. Yeah, so we're in three. with almost two months saved. Great. Her desire, right, it's been a grind for over two years now, would be to go on a trip to Italy, go explore Europe. Baby moon.

She's lived there previously, and it would just be a joy for her to show me her stomping grounds. And, you know, we take the whole family. What's that cost? It would be, I'm estimating between 15 to 18,000. Okay. And when would you do that? That would be mid to late July. Do you have time to save up that money by then?

We could cash flow it, and then that means we're not really saving in stork mode. So I kind of wanted to get an idea of where this whole stork mode. Stork mode is saving. Stork mode is something we tell folks, like, and I would tell you, especially as a first-time parent, if you're paying off debt and like you have a baby coming in six months, you can pause paying off debt and just put cash aside just to make sure if something happens, there's a NICU stay or there's an emergency C-section or something, I've got to, I'm not going to get us out of debt six months and then have to go all the way back six months. So this cash is on the side just to make sure everybody gets home from the hospital and we didn't have to spend any extra money.

the point of that. Does the money that you have saved, does that cover your out-of-pocket max for your family, like for wife and baby? Yes. And is there anything left over after that with what you have saved now? Maybe $10,000. Okay. That's a pretty sweet spot.

And is mom going to stay at home with the kiddo after, or is she going to go back to work? Should be going back to work. Okay. So it's not like you're going to. from one income down to two. I mean, I'm sorry, for two incomes down to one. Correct. Yeah, we both go back to work, you know.

Okay. What's your living situation? Are you renting, owning? We're currently renting. I'd love to own a home. Maybe that's time next year. Okay. You know, I think that you have the emergency fund that you need.

I'd love for you to get at least to three months before you consider this, because then you can officially kind of tick the box and say, all right, we got, we got through the three hardest steps. And then if you want to move a little bit slower getting the six months, because again, whether you have three to six months, and this is for anybody listening, you throw several things into the equation, right? It's are both, are both spouses working? If you're single and you're the only one working, yeah, you need six months. But if you have two working folks, you could opt for three or four months if you wanted to. Is everybody healthy? And that's the one part where, for you guys, it's not that your wife is unhealthy, but she's in pregnancy mode, which means there's a lot of variables there. So I personally, I'm not going to lie to you. I love the idea of if you had six months saved, that would just personally make me feel great. Next on the list is, well, let me at least make sure I have out-of-pocket maximums covered and some extra money on the side just because when you go through pregnancy, hospital stays, there's there's extra meals that you need and there's, oh my gosh, I can't believe we didn't buy

this one item that we really, really need, right? There's going to think things that pop up. I was stunned. I thought a baby went to the bathroom once a day like a regular person. I didn't know they went 400 times, like diapers. Whatever you have budgeted, quadruple it, right? So things like that. It just expenses come out of nowhere. Yeah, I'm all for trips too.

What's you guys' income? What do you make? Combined, about 240. 240. I think that in the parameter of your income, like I said, I'd love for you to get to three months of expenses, and I think you probably can count. cash flow that. And I think that you can cash flow this trip. My thing for you would be, it's got to be, you can't touch the emergency fund for this whatsoever. It's got to be completely

cash flowed. And yeah, and with reasonable spending, I think that that's totally fine. Can I ask you one more question, brother? Do you want to go on this trip? It's just you and me and a couple million people listening. I've never been. And it's, it seems, it seems. seems dreamy. I am a spreadsheet guy, so that I'm like, I don't know. You're thinking about this is down payment money, right? Well, that's just it, right? You look forward in the next year, and it's like, you know, that's 5% of what we're trying to put down on a home, maybe even 10, depending on where we land. So is there a conversation to be had that you sit down and say, I want to go to Italy too,

sounds dreamy to use your words is there a possibility that we wait until the little one is 18 months old and at that point here's a map we have a home and we cash flow this thing

we got an emergency fund and we're just going to postpone this trip from trying to cram it in right now to I want to do this thing upright is that a possibility I mean yeah I think about like I'm I'm over six foot So I'm like, I'm going to be crammed in that airline for 10 hours.

Yeah, I mean, I've done that. Like, I haven't gone to Italy, but I've flown international. And I'm a big guy. Like, it just kind of is, right? I don't know. I'm going to play on the other side of this coin because this is your first baby. This is, I think she's viewing this as this is our last shot. This is our last.

Because, listen, with an 18-month-old, I wouldn't want to go. I mean, life changes in so many ways. But she's got other kids, right? Correct, yeah. How many does she have? One. I have to stop someone. How old is? Nine.

Okay. So there's like, at nine years old, they can go off with the grandparents or with the on, whatever. Or go with you. Yeah. I can travel. But I just think she's seeing this as she knows that independence changes greatly when you have a baby on your hip. So I would try to figure out a way that you can do a trip. Maybe the compromise is we don't spend as much or we don't go for as long. or but I think there's a way you can meet in the middle because the truth is you guys have a great income. You do have time to do the house. There's no there's no rush for either of these. I just, I wouldn't want you to miss out on experiences too, like as you're getting financially stable and as you're, does that make sense? Because you're doing like you're on track. You're doing

the things. You've paid off the debt. You've got the emergency fund. You've got all these other things in place. I just think that there is a level of enjoyment that you can. can have. I would probably say, yeah, 15,000, not 18,000. But other than that, I think you guys are on the right track. All right, guys, thanks for hanging out with us this hour. And remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.