The Ramsey Show - Quiet The Chaos And Solve For Peace

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

❓Have a money question? Ask Ramsey is here to help! Ken Coleman and Jade Warshaw answer your questions and discuss: "My husband is about to go to prison for several years, how should we prepare our finances?" "How can I get my 19-year-old son to be responsible for his expenses?" "I'm 46-years-old but I still don't have my finances in order, how do I begin to get organized with my money?" "Are we spending too much on building our home?" "Should I share my inheritance with my brothers?" "Should I sell my car?". Next Steps: ✔️⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Help us make the show better. Please take this short survey.⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or⁠⁠⁠ ⁠send us an email⁠⁠⁠. 🏠 ⁠⁠Find a Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agent⁠⁠ 💵 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!⁠⁠⁠ 🛡️ Protect yourself with trusted insurance coverage that fits your budget 💻 Need help with your taxes? See who we trust. Connect With Our Sponsors: Get 10% off your first month of ⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠ Go to ⁠⁠⁠Boost Mobile⁠⁠⁠ to switch today! Go to⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Casper Sleep⁠⁠⁠ and use promo code RAMSEY to learn more If you want your car to keep going and going, trust ⁠⁠⁠Christian Brothers Automotive⁠⁠⁠. Find a local shop and get an exclusive Ramsey discount of 10% off Learn more about⁠⁠⁠ Christian Healthcare Ministries⁠⁠⁠ Get started today with⁠⁠⁠ Churchill Mortgage⁠⁠⁠ Get 20% off when you join ⁠⁠⁠DeleteMe⁠⁠⁠ Go to⁠⁠⁠ FAIRWINDS Credit Union⁠⁠⁠ for an exclusive account bundle! Debt collectors hassling you? Take back control of your life at ⁠⁠⁠Guardian Litigation Group⁠⁠⁠ Find top health insurance plans at ⁠⁠⁠Health Trust Financial⁠⁠⁠ Use code RAMSEY to save 20% at ⁠⁠⁠Mama Bear Legal Forms⁠⁠⁠ Visit⁠⁠⁠ NetSuite⁠⁠⁠ today to learn more Get started with ⁠⁠⁠YRefy⁠⁠⁠ or call 844-2-RAMSEY Visit⁠⁠⁠ Zander Insurance⁠⁠⁠ for your free instant quote today! Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 ⁠⁠⁠The Ramsey Show Highlights⁠⁠⁠ 🧠 ⁠⁠⁠The Dr. John Delony Show⁠⁠⁠ 🍸 ⁠⁠⁠Smart Money Happy Hour⁠⁠⁠ 💡 ⁠⁠⁠The Rachel Cruze Show⁠⁠⁠ 💰 ⁠⁠⁠George Kamel⁠⁠⁠ 🪑 ⁠⁠⁠Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman⁠⁠⁠ 📈 ⁠⁠⁠EntreLeadership⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey show. Alongside Jade Warshaw, I'm Ken Coleman. The phone number to jump in is AAA 825-5-2-2-25. Breaking news, folks. It's rare that I ever get to do breaking news. I love breaking news. We're going to get to the calls, but I got to tell you, I was just informed not very long ago, just a couple of hours ago that I'm sitting next to, not just the fabulous Jade Warshall, as I am, want to introduce you, but the bestselling author, Jade Warshall,

the new book, What No One Tells You About Money, a national bestseller. We're talking about an unbelievable out-of-the-gate performance. We're talking about all books out there in She's at the top of the list. Congratulations, my friend. Thank you, my friend. I appreciate that. Very exciting. Just the beginning of this book and its impact is being celebrated today, but I wanted to say congratulations.

I know you, the audience, are very happy for those of you that supported this amazing message, that's going to actually help you. Thank you. Yes. So you're ready to roll? I was hoping you had like a toast or some, a drink or something, a bourbon or something. I don't. I have a, I have a, well, there's a lady in the lobby and her, uh, uh, what is that lemonade? It's minute-made lemonade.

Sure. We'll take an honorary swing of that. Yes, we will. Let's go to Megan, who's joining us in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Megan, how can we help today? Hi, guys. Hi. I am going through some changes.

You know, my income is drastically. Well, my family's income is drastically changing. What's happening? Basically, my spouse is going away for some time. You know, we're unsure of that timeline, maybe two to ten years. None of that's finalized, but I'm trying to get, you know, ahead basically of our finances. Going away for some time, I just don't want to assume anything. But I think you mean he's going to jail.

Yes. Oh. Yes, unfortunately. I don't want to get into. Sure. That's fine. Totally get it. Just wanted to make sure we understood what you're dealing with.

And tell us you in the timeline? Maybe two, maybe up to 10 years. And when and when? win? Well, he's in the jail right now, but he just was arrested last week. So it's very early. So I'm just trying to get ahead, so I don't get behind. Yeah. Tell us what the financial impact will be as relates to losing his salary. So, you know, he owns a lawn care landscape and business. You know, we also have three rental homes that bring an income, and he's the handyman. He's the handyman. man for those and for those rentals. So he usually brings in, you know, between $10,000 and $15,000 a month.

Okay. What about you? Do you work at all? I work full time and I bring in about $4,000 a month after, you know, tax is an insurance. Okay. Are there children? We have two children. Yes, 11 and 17. The 17 year olds in her senior year right now, they both go to private school. Crazy question. Yeah. Is the lawn care landscaping business, is it thriving? Does good on it. Like, yeah.

Sounds like it is. He can do good at it. So here's where I'm going here. And I'm not, I don't want to get two in the weeds here, but because all of this is coming at you like a tornado. I know you have a lot going on, but if I'm sitting in your shoes, I'm trying to figure out with him how you can keep that business going. Does he have people that work for him, or is he doing all the work?

He does a majority of the work. He has, you know, all the equipment and things that I'm so not involved with. Totally understand that. I've never really, you know, wanted to be involved. You know, I wanted to keep our jobs separate, you know, as a married couple, you know, not to mix that. And yes, his, yes, I would love to think that I could carry on with that. But right now he has one employee because it's the winner. So, you know, not a lot of things are going on during the winter, but yes, he does the majority of the work.

I'd be wondering if there's a secondary person you could bring on to take his place. And the deal is you're getting the benefit of having basically my book of business. And so we're splitting the profits in some way. And so instead of losing out on $15,000 a month, maybe you're only missing out on $5,000 or $6,000 a month. Do you see what I'm saying? And so essentially there's a either maybe a 50-50 split or something there. That's what I'd be looking to do because you would not want this to go down the drain simply because, you know. And again, I don't want to stay locked in on this, but this is actually relevant to why you called.

If I'm you, and Jade gave you one option, bringing somebody in as kind of a quasi, feels like a partner is what you were suggesting. I'm suggesting you talk to your husband. And this is like legal pad simple, right? And you're going, okay, babe, how many hours a week are you actually doing something in these lawns versus who does the accounting? I would get a brain dump from him and talk to him as though this is possible because I think it's possible. And I would go the route of trying first to just get a body, a guy who needs a good paying job who likes outdoor work. Could be even a young, sharp high school kid who's graduating. He doesn't want to go to college, wants to go in this feeling.

you got to tell you what, here's my situation. I need somebody that I can count on, and here's what you're going to do. I'm going to pay you really well, and you're going to learn this business for yourself. Now, and what you would have to do is step in and make sure that if your husband was doing the accounting, that maybe you hire a bookkeeper. But again, we're talking about a very small expense to take maybe what he has been doing that's not in the field and running the business side of it and see if you can replace it. I think it's worth kicking the tires.

I think it's worth a really detailed conversation with your husband to see if we can keep this thing going. Because to Jade's point, if we can keep this thing turning out 10, 12, the occasional 15,000. That's a pretty healthy little business. And my gosh, I think it's worth trying. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I would definitely could put out some ads for maybe a new worker. I can get with a guy that's working for him right now. and definitely, yeah, maybe look into. Do you have a good support system, like community, whether it be

church or neighbors or family? I have a few close ones, yeah. And they're standing with you. They're not deserting you in this crazy thing you're doing. As far as right now, no, nobody's deserting me. That's why I'd start. I wouldn't do ads right away. I think you need people who are going, hey, I totally am with you. I see where you are. I understand what's going on. I understand what's going on and we're going to rally to try to help you with this plan. Okay. We want to try to keep this income going. But, Jade, let's transition to worst case scenario if all of this income goes away.

Well, the first thing we need to see is, like, how secure of a position are you in? I mean, do you guys have a bunch of debt? Do you have, tell us more about your kind of month-to-month situation? So, yeah, the only debt that we have, so our personal home, Our mortgage is about $4,000 a month. We owe about $260 left on that. Any other big debt? The other one rental house is mortgaged and we owe about $140 on that one.

You know, I'd be looking to simplify this if I were you. If you, I want you to go home. I want you to write out all of your debt, consumer debt. And then I want you to consider it might be worth it to offload one of these, take the equity and pay off all of your consumer debt because you want your expenses as low as possible going in, especially with the changes coming possibly to his income. Hang on the line. We want to get you into every dollar, our gift for a year, and I want to get you with a financial coach to help you deal with the trauma and the details.

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I trust them, and you can too. visit zander.com for instant online quotes or for a more personal touch give them a call at 800 356 4282 all right let's go to k who's joining us in salt lake city kay how can we help today um thank you for your help um so i have a 19 year old at home um he he's working and um his hours had been reduced recently but um i feel like his his finance have become my problem. So a few months ago, he had a paid off car. Everything was great, no debt. And next thing you know, he goes and trade that vehicle in for a 2018 BMW. Insurance, of course, is now being deducted from my account because I was trying to help him. So he, the plan was for him to give me that money every month. That didn't happen all the way through this last week. He only gave me a portion of it. One of the parts on his car went out. So, of course, I came in trying to help him and paid for the part, which was not cheap. And kind of a few things of that sort with the vehicle.

He wasn't able to pay the registration the first couple of months. So it just kind of been piling up. And I'm just trying to figure out how do I put my foot down? Where do I draw the line? and I'm at the point where I've come to the point to ask him to move out to his dad's house because I feel like there's always something with that where I'm coming in to save him. Hold on a second. That's your choice. I'm going to jump in. I've heard you say, of course, twice, when you described that you swooped in and tried to help.

and now you're saying I'm at the point where I want to send into his father's and I get to tell you something this isn't this kid's fault and sending him to live with his father isn't going to solve the problem and I'm on your team K but the problem is you yeah you're you're acting like this is just happening to you you ask us how do I put my foot down and here's my answer put it down stop it you've actually never put your foot down it's like hovering all the time and he knows it by the way. I'd park the car if it were me and I just think you have to stop. Like you're so worried about something. So there's fear underneath why you won't put your foot down. So the technical answer to how do you put your foot down is, is determine what is this thing you're so afraid

of happening and keeps you from putting your foot down. That's the simple answer. So what is it? Well, I'm trying to not have them make the same mistakes I did when I was younger and, you know, screw up his credit score and there's just so many things of like getting into so much debt. Did you learn anything from those big mistakes? I did. Really? Wait a second. Wait, tell me. How is it that you learn from those big mistakes?

Well, I was on the side of him not. getting this loan. I was advising him to save his money. No, no, no, that's not the question. What Ken is asking you is the mistakes that you made, what did you learn from them when you were his age? What did you learn? I don't know how to answer that. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Here's what we're getting at. What we're getting at is mistakes are necessary. That's how we learn. You learn by touching a hot stove. Oh, don't touch that. You learn by trying to, you know, do the things that you're not supposed to do and then you learn what you should do. That's the process. That is the process of maturing. You cannot keep your son. If you seek to keep your son from making mistakes,

you are robbing him from the opportunity to learn, period. Yeah, and I agree. And that's why I want to put my foot down. I just don't know how far is too far is. You're not even close to too far. You're not even close. Well, yeah, you know what though? I actually think that you threatening or going through with sending him to his father's is too far. Because I'm going to tell you, and again, I'm not picking on you. Hold on. Hold on. That's not even too. That's not even, I got to say this though. It's too far. You're punishing him for something he didn't do. Well, that's what I'm saying. Her sent, you sending him to the father's house, that's not you putting your foot down. That's you copping out. So that's why I said you're not even close because

this is, this is something you must deal with. And if you send him to the father's house, to the father's house. I sound like a sermon here. If you send him over to his father's house, that's you ducking out and going, I don't want to deal with this. I'm just going to take myself out of the picture. And we are suggesting that you stay fully in the picture and deal with your portion of this issue. Yeah. Sorry. What I'm trying to explain is I'm sending him over because I'm helping him as best as I can, but I give him advice and he doesn't take it. No, you're not. You're not helping him. You're actually hurt. hurting him and you're hurting him by bubble wrapping him. This kid's bouncing around because he knows

there's no jagged edges. There's no chance he gets financially bruised because mom is always there. And I will tell you, you will hurt this kid's spirit if you send him to his father's for something he didn't do. I think the best thing you could do for him is to confess to him today. I have been so soft. Here's why. I'm a friend. of this and this and this. And because of my fear, I did what every parent and every person who's a fearful person does, we try to control. And Kay, I'm talking to you as a man who's guilty. If I lined up all three of my kids, I got a 17, 18, 20, and I've confessed this to them where I have done this. So I'm being real, real with you right now. I was so controlling for a

season in my life, I created more strife in my house because of my fear, and my fear made me controlling, and my controlling created unnecessary tension. Okay. And in your situation, and I want Jade to check me on this, what we're hearing is, in your attempt to allay your fears, and I'll bet you there's more fears you haven't even identified, but I appreciate you sharing one with us, you are. actually harming him. You called us today to say, how do I do it? This is a massive self-awareness moment for you. And then a massive confession to your son. And in the confession, you say,

so I cannot in good conscience allow you to do this anymore. So as your mom, here's how this changes. This car, I'm taking your keys and it gets parked until this happens, this happens, I'm just telling you. That's what I would do. But first with a confession. so that he realizes, oh, mom is actually trying to help me. He may not like it, by the way, but it's far better than you going, I'm washing my hands. I don't know if you know the story in the Bible where Pontius Pilate, the crowd wants to crucify Jesus. And he goes, all right. And he literally washes his hands and says, you take over.

I think that's what you're doing if he's sending to his dad's house. Okay. I see your point. You know, I'm just trying to navigate through this and see. It's going to suck. Where do I stop helping him? Now, stop. Stop bailing him out on any of the car expenses.

I think you swapping your mindset on this. Right now, you're viewing it as a him problem and a him thing that I need to stop and a him problem I need to solve and a him thing that I need to keep from happening. This actually doesn't have much to do with him. It has way more to do with you. This really is, to Ken's point, a you problem

and a you self-awareness moment. like that, Ken said that. And I think by way of you figuring that out, it will solve the whatever him problem that exists. Because think about it, he's really just doing what a kid his age is going to do, which is see what the boundaries are, see if what he can get away with, see if mom and dad that's what he's wired to do at this age. His frontal lobe jade isn't even close to fully to your point. Yeah. You guys. So I, I mean, I'm not going to beat a dead horse on this, but I agree with Ken 100%. But listen, Kay, we want to encourage you, okay?

We shot you straight, but I want to encourage you. You're not a bad mom. So don't beat yourself up over this. But literally just say, hey, buddy, I blew it. It's going to freak him out, possibly. Probably going to make him a little mad. That's all right? You've got to stop it now.

And then you'll find that one of these days you'll really look back and go, I don't regret that I did this. So hang in there. It's chin up, mom. This parenting stuff is hard. You have a phenomenal heart. You're a great lady. Okay?

So we're not beating you up, but a little tough love here just from experience from my side of things. And I've been there. You can do this. When you've saved up and paid cash for a reliable used car, you want that thing to last. And the best way to keep it running for the long haul is to take care of it with people you trust. That's why I'm proud to welcome Christian Brothers Automotive is the official auto repair partner of the Ramsey Show. At Christian Brothers, they treat you like family. You'll get digital vehicle inspections so you can see exactly what your technician sees,

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See store for details. All right, let's go to Amanda, who's joining us in Los Angeles, California. Amanda, how are you? How are you? Good. How can we help? Okay, basically, I am 46. I've always been a creative person, so I've never had a 9-to-5.

I'm in a pretty substantial amount of personal debt. I'm just wondering, like, I'm ready to, like, get my financial life together. I just never had it together. So I really have no idea where to start. Well, you know what? You're in the right place. You're in the right place. You started by calling us today.

This is exciting. Yeah, I love creatives. I'm a creative, so I'm excited to learn what you do creatively. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm a singer, songwriter, a musician. How are you paying the... What is your source of income right now?

Right now I'm a nanny. Okay. What are you making? 30 an hour. Okay. How many hours are you working? 30. Okay, so you're still kind of in the part-time room.

Why? Why are we only working 30? Well, in the beginning it was a little bit more, but then the parents are working through a divorce, and now just because their time is split, like my time is a little bit less, just because the parents want to spend more time with the kids. And so I have been trying to get additional. I'm with a nanny agency. I've been trying to get additional jobs.

But those are kind of as they come, so they're not regular. And I'm also looking into some side hustles, but it's not happening like right now. But right now I have like 11 cents. You have 11 cents in your account? Yes. That's fantastically bad. But I must say, it's hilarious how detailed that is. You're like, she's at 11 cents, Jade.

Okay. Well, let's check it. First off, let me validate that and say I've been there. Yeah. So. I've never been that low. Oh, I've been there. I've been there and below.

Okay. Paint a picture for us. What kind of debt you got? Okay. Personal loans, my best friend. has been helping me out for the last few years, just whenever she can. And so I'm not taking any more money from her, but I want to start paying her back. And then I have about $2,000 in school debt.

My car is paid off, and I'm working on paying back some back rent because I was out of work a lot last year, which is why there's some stuff that I have to catch up all. How much is your rent? 800 a month. Okay, so I'm not hearing, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not hearing the details that should add up to 11 cents in your account. So something else is going on here because you don't have any car debt, your rent is in a good spot for somebody who makes $3,600 a month, nannying 30 hours a week, plus whatever

little bit of money that you're bringing in from whatever gigs you're doing, be real with us and tell us where the problem is. Because this is either... No, I am very... Like, I have a lot of money anxiety. I don't know how to hold on to it. But what are you spending it on? Oh, well, right now I'm giving almost my entire check to catch up on rent.

So my check after tax is about $7.70. And I give at least $400 of that to my roommate every week to catch up on rent. So that's leaving me $300. How much do you owe in back rent total? By my calculations, if I keep up at this pace, I'll be done by March. No, no, no. That's not what I asked. I said how much total do you owe in back rent?

Total. Total, I owe another $4,000. And tell me, this is where I'm trying to get the realness. Tell me why you were out of work for so long that you didn't pay rent for quite some time. Well, I was paying like partial, but I was out of work just because, you know, I was working like part time and less so. For how long? This is probably about a year. I've also been working through a lot of depression.

I've had two parents die in the last two years. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. Yeah, I'm trying to make a cut. Well, I don't want to make excuses. Like, I know that I did. No, those aren't excuses. when we're talking, we have to talk in full reality.

Otherwise, we'll talk around the issues. And once I pushed you to get real, you told us some very important things, which is you lost two parents in a very short period of time. And it makes sense. I'm not saying that it's a wonderful idea, but it's 100% normal for people to kind of, it's like being in the dark and you're just rooting around trying to find the light switch. and a lot of people run up debt during that time.

A lot of people are, they fall into a depression during that time. That makes total sense. And now Ken and I can go, okay, now we understand why you're behind rent. Now we understand why you weren't working for a year. Now it makes sense. And do you feel like you've started to come out of that fog of depression? Yes. I'll have therapy.

I have help. I've been really working hard on it. Okay, good. I really want to get a hold of this. Good for you. Good. Well, here's the great news, Amanda. You're not in this mountain of debt. No. I mean, that's what Jade's getting at. We're not hearing something where it's like your life is going to suck for the next three years and never see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working in one. Like we say it some people, you've heard us do that. So the good news is you've not done a ton of damage. That's the good news. And I hate to be so simplistic. But sometimes, you know, when we're depressed and we're down, and I love that you're getting help and you're getting the tools. But you know one of the best things you can do right now is get super busy working? Okay.

It's one of the best things you can do. And here's why. And I'm no therapist. And you can talk to your therapist about this. But I'm going to tell you something. There is a psychological benefit to doing hard things. Yeah. Because you've been through some hard times.

Yeah. But doing hard things is such a wonderful, wonderful elixir for the soul. Yeah. And, you know, when you're working really hard, it's hard to be down because you're so damn gum busy. And then when you're working really hard and you have $1,100 in the bank instead of 11 cents, then now your spine gets a little taller. You tracking with me, Amanda?

True, yes. Come on. What do I do once I get the $1,100? All right, I'm going to let Jay tell you. All right, you're in good hands. Jay's going to coach you. Yeah. So you told me, I'm just going to repeat back what you told me.

me you had $2,000 in student loan debt. You told me you have $4,000 in back rent. Is there anything else that we need to add to the list? Oh, the personal loan. It was about $30,000. $30,000 in personal loan. That's the big one. That's okay.

We didn't catch that one. So what we're going to do, can you tell me the payment for the personal loan? What do you pay every month for that? I haven't started paying it yet. When does it start? I don't know I want. I mean, my friend let me money over a period of time, and I haven't taken any money from her,

but now I'd like to start paying her back. So there are no terms. So your friend lent you the $30,000. Okay. So here's what I would do. I would start by focusing on this back rent. And that's what we would tell anybody. If they're behind on their rent mortgage,

you got to do that first. That's your livelihood. You need that. So the $4,000, I would go ham on that. It sounds like you've got $3,600 a month. And after the $800, after your little dinky student loan payment, because it can't be that much on a $2,000, you know, loan.

You should have so much money at your disposal, right? Okay. Do you? Okay. I don't feel like it right now. I mean, like, I'm paying, I just feel like every check I have about $90 for a gas because I commute to work and that's it because I'm giving all my money. So I guess I am going hard.

Here's what we need is we need a budget because right now, just given the numbers that you've told me, you should have lots of money to put towards this. So what I want you to do, we're going to give you every dollar, Christian, who picked up before is going to pick up again. You're going to get every dollar. And you're going to put every bit of money that you've earned into that budget. And really what I want you to do is go and look at your bank statement for last month and look at, see, how much did I get paid? Where did the money go? And do an audit on that because I think you have more money than you think and it's being spent in ways that you're not realizing. Because from what I hear, you're

You've got a pretty basic life financially, and there should be lots of margin going towards paying back this back rent. So that's going to be first on your list, and then we're going to head into the student loans. But you've got to know the numbers before you can make progress. If collectors are blowing up your phone every day and you're living in constant fear of the next call, you're not living. You're surviving.

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All right, folks, you know. know this, but I got to say it, we need to be reminded of it. Buying or selling a home is a massive deal. You don't want to just go willy-nilly with that when you want an expert in your corner. The Ramsey Trusted program is the only way to find a top agent who will make sure that this sale or this purchase is a blessing, not a burden. So you can find a local Ramsey trusted real estate pro for free. And you can do that at Ramsey Solutions.com.com. slash agent. Ramsey Solutions.com slash agent or

because James Childs or a fearless leader does such a good job with the show notes. You can just go to the show notes. I call it a cornucopia of goodness. Do you know what that means? A cornucopia. I do know what a cornucopia is. Did I say that properly? I think that it was an extreme

way to say it, but I'll go with you. A cornucopia is just full and overflowing of all kinds of goodness. That's true. That's the show notes. There's anything we say, if we have a link, I just want to make it clear the show notes. Just go right on over there. I'm here for it, cornucopia. Yeah, see? People won't forget about the show notes today. It's a cornucopia of goodness. Thank you very much.

Brittany is joining us now right here in our backyard of Nashville. Brittany, how can we help? Okay, so I think I'm calling in today to maybe get permission to do something with our money. Well, it's your lucky day because I am in a permission giving, denying mode. I'm feeling pretty good, Brittany, so. We have approximately $2 million in cash. That doesn't suck. No, but making decisions does actually suck.

Where'd the cash come from? So personal savings plus some investments that we cashed out, we have been sitting on some cryptocurrency that we actually planned to use. for this purpose, for building a new home. So now we are getting into the nitty gritty. It's coming in at about 1.2 to 1.4 to build this home. Great. And so, yeah, great.

So this would be our forever home. It's at the school that we want our children to attend, that they already attend. What's bothering you, Brittany? What's fathering you? It's a big number. And I think we're dealing with a little bit of imposter syndrome here. I think when we got married, we had nothing. And in fact, as soon as we got married, I got laid off for my job.

About four months later, we have three children. We own our own business. Once we have this house, we will have the house. We will not have any additional debt. We'll still have a successful business. But again, I think we're dealing with some imposter syndrome here, or maybe not. Once we build the house and we take care of our tax liability for this year, after taking out one year of living expenses, well, I say living expenses, once we take out what we pay ourselves in a year, which is about $120,000, we would have about $330,000 left to reinvest.

Why are you taking, I have a question, why are you taking a year's salary out of that? Is that for an emergency fund? Yes, because you never know, we do own our own business. Understood. Okay. If something happened to my husband, you know. I get it. I get it. I just wanted to be clear on that.

I got to jump in. Permission granted. Are you asking for permission to actually pay cash for this dream house? Yes. Yes. Oh, okay. I feel so powerful. No, but can I address something?

I don't think you guys are suffering from imposter syndrome. First of all, imposter syndrome is a fancy way of saying doubt. Would you agree with me, Brittany? We deserve this. That's my point. So imposter syndrome is I doubt that I belong. I doubt that we, but you actually are dealing with shame. There's some level of shame, not because you did something.

Many times people hear shame and they go, No, no, no. I think it's because what you guys come from, you said it. We come from nothing. I think you said something to that effect. Is that right? Yes. Okay, great.

That's what it is. You guys aren't suffering from imposter syndrome. You're suffering from fear. You actually are afraid that if you spend this kind of money, all this huge money, which $2 million is a lot of money. If we spend it, we're going to somehow screw up. and that's not the safe thing or the smart thing to do. And I would actually tell you that this is absolutely incredibly smart. This is a huge real estate investment that you could get the money back.

You know it and I know it. There's zero risk on this. I mean, in the real, we're talking about, you know, the world coming to an end, sure. But outside of that, you guys, this is not a risk. And I'm just curious, I want to walk you through a super fast exercise. How many years did it take you to amass the two of the two months? million dollars? About two years. We started with small investments. Great. And we've been sitting on this cryptocurrency for about two years. Okay, great. And then the next question is, how long has the

business been alive and well? 13 years. 13 years. There's no imposter syndrome here. You guys didn't just fall off of a potato truck and into this. I mean, you guys worked at it. You took some calculated risk, and it paid off for you. So I hope I'm just trying to get inside your head to say, this is fear, not doubt. You guys are afraid that if you spend this money, it's somehow wasteful because you come from so little. Did I just hear a yes? Yes. That's what I know. I've talked to so many people like you. It's just so unbelievable based on where you guys came from, as opposed to flip that to, wow, how blessed are we? How grateful should we be? This is awesome, as opposed to, this is crazy that we're going to cut a check for that. Jade, I want you to come in on this,

because I know you have perspective on this and emotions around money. What are you hearing? You hear anything different? I 100% agree when you first started talking, Brittany, I thought, man, this is exactly what I talk about in the book. When I talk about fear of success and fear of failure. And they tend to coexist. And it's just that feeling of, man, what if I, what if I blow it? What if I have this great thing and I blow it? People are going to be able to, and it's broadcast for everybody to see because it's my home. It's all of that. So I agree with Ken wholeheartedly. And I'll tell you what came to my head. My pastor used to say all the time, if you got it and it's good, it's from God. And just be so grateful. It doesn't have to do with

whatever you deserve. Because nobody does, who deserves? Right? Like, come on. Let's be honest. And so if you have it, think of it as something that you're supposed to steward well and look after and be just such a good, take such great care with. And I believe that you're going to do it. The fact that you're here on, you called us in and you're in tears about this. You're going to manage this well. You're going to look after this. Like Ken said, you're not new to the game. You guys have been working for a long time. You understand the value of a dollar. You understand hard work. have no qualms about saying to enjoy this home that you have gotten as a wonderful blessing because of your hard work and effort. Yeah. Yeah. Jade now come by and dedicate it. She'll sing.

I'll say a few words. It'll be great. Yeah. Well, cheers. Don't forget about us. Don't forget about us little people, Brittany. You know, here's the key on this, Brittany, when you get it, because this is going to come back up.

So that's why you heard both of us kind of go into mindset stuff for you, because this is going to pop back up. This little demon's going to pop back on the shoulder. And here's the thing you've got to remember. Forget all the rah-rah we just did. You guys are going to be paying cash for a dream home, and you still have a full year you're going to set aside of your expenses, plus a very healthy company.

You're not broke. You're not spending every nickel in your life. We didn't even ask you what your retirement portfolio is and everything else. This is a very dedicated expense that is the best expense one could have, which is a dream home that you pay cash for and you still got some left over. So when the demon pops up on the shoulder, say, shut up, we got plenty. And enjoy this and bless people with it.

Yeah. And keep talking to people like Ken and I who will celebrate with you. That's what you need. You don't want to be around people who make you feel like you got to shrink back. We all want peace, peace with our money, our homes, our schedules, but having peace online is important too. Most of the time when you sign up for a coupon, enter a giveaway, or click yes to another email list. Your personal info, like your name, your phone number, your address gets collected and sold by data brokers.

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Start protecting your privacy and your peace today. Go to joindelatme.com slash Ramsey for 20% off an annual plan. That's join delete me. slash Ramsey. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds credit union studio alongside the newly minted bestselling author of what no one tells you about money, the fabulous Jade Warshaugh. I am just Ken. Thank you, my friend.

You're never just Ken. Isn't that a song in the Barbie movie? I'm just Ken or something like that. I could be wrong. It's bothering me that you've seen the Barbie movie and I have not. I haven't. My daughter has told me about it. And how do you know?

Oh. Because there's lots of songs. around Ken? The famous just asking for a friend. My friend saw the Barbie movie. Oh, this is a true story. No chance. I paid for my daughter to go with her friends, but no chance I was going to try to

sleep through that, because I would have slept through that. Do you know what I mean? I can't watch any, like, kids' movies or anything that's not interesting. If you say so, kid. 20 minutes in? You're out. Catching flies. That's what happens when I try to watch Star Wars. Out like like a light. A. All right. We have

to spend more time off air on that statement. I don't know what's wrong with you. Oh, okay. I'm going to let that one pass. Flush. Mike is up in Jacksonville, Florida. Mike, how could we help? Hey, well,

my dad committed suicide a few years ago. Oh, my gosh. And he, when that happened, I flew there and handled everything. And my grandma decided

that she would take what would have been my father's inheritance and give it to us kids his portion of it. She asked me if it should be me and my siblings or just me, since she doesn't have a relationship with them. And I said, just put me for now. My, there's a bit more nuance than that, but my concern is what do I do? I feel like they are entitled to something. But every time they get any type of lump sum or they make any type of advance in their life, they do things to sink themselves even further.

They both have kids. And I'm scared that if they just get a lump sum, it's going to do a lot more harm than good. Okay. Can we rewind a bit? Yeah. My first, well, first off, I'm so sorry, so, so very sorry for your loss. But the first question, Ken, that I have is, is grandma still with us? Or has she passed?

She is. Okay. Not yet. But she is. I've been in contact with my family and she's closing in on that time. Okay. Becoming more and more of a reality. And how much money are we talking about?

It depends on exactly how long she remains, but it could be anywhere from 100 to about 120K total. And was she the sole beneficiary of your dad's will? So my dad didn't have anything. So when my dad died, there was nothing anywhere. We were just left with debt. So no one got anything from my dad. But I thought that's how you started off the call. Forgive me.

No, this is... Sorry. It's her inheritance? It's what she wants to leave, that she was going to leave to their dad. But now that he's gone early... I apologize. I thought I was listening. I was trying to listen.

I apologize. That's all right. Okay. So grandmother, has it been written in the will that you're the only beneficiary? Or are we still chatting about this to write it down? It is just... Well, So it's just, it's me and then my dad's siblings and my aunts and uncles.

And there's four of them and then me in my dad's place. So this is already split five ways. The 120. The 120 would be my portion. Understood. Okay. So after the aunts and uncles, there's 120,000 and you're deciding, do I split this with my siblings? How many siblings do you have?

Two. Okay. So there's three of you guys. And your other two siblings, you're like, hey, they can't have a lump sum of money, they'll do this, this and that. Are we talking about, I'm trying to understand the level of immaturity. Are we talking about they'll do drugs and drink it and gamble it away? Or are we talking about, hey, you know, they have a car payment.

I don't believe in car payments. Tell me, tell me what level we're talking about. So my middle brother, he has five kids total. only has custody of one. His wife has five kids, has custody of two, one of them being shared between the two of them. They live in an apartment. My brother went through bankruptcy a few years ago, and the second he was finished with bankruptcy, took about a $2,000 dog and was making payments on it.

Then he got a new job, was making good money. and immediately bought a brand new car off the lot. It has these giant payments. Okay, I'm getting a picture. Let me ask you this. And this is an attempt to give you an answer through the lens of what would I do? If I understood correctly,

did grandmother contact you and say, should I will some of my money to your brothers? The exact conversation was I'm going to put you guys as the to take over what Mike would have gotten do you want me to put you or your brothers she reached out to me

because she doesn't have a relationship with them they haven't spoken in years so that's a nuance the way you just said that you or your brother she said do I give your dad's portion which we're saying is 100 to 120,000 somewhere in that range do I give it to you

or your brothers that's what you just said now that's a very different question versus just you or your brothers Yeah, sorry, I meant just me or just me and my brothers in terms of name on the will. So here's grandma has come to you and she's putting it in your lap, or she's asking your opinion. Yes. And you haven't gotten back to her? I did.

I told her to put just my name. Okay, so you're having second thoughts. No, I get it. Did you tell her why? It's, I did not tell her why. She didn't ask. Are you having second thoughts? I'm not necessarily having second thoughts about my name on it. I think that's appropriate. I'm more concerned about what do I do for them. I feel like they do deserve something. It was their dad that passed two, not just mine. So let's stay right there. I'm with you. We got a little limited time and I'm trying to walk you to where you can feel good about your decision. This is your decision, not Jade or mine. All right. So I understand what you just said. So before you called us, I know that you thought through an amount. Let's say. Let's say. I understand.

just play with $100,000 as an easy round number. What were you thinking about giving each of them? Well, I've kicked two things around. I've kicked around giving them each 10 because that's not quite enough to do too much damage. And I've also thought about just paying something off for them rather than handing them cash. I have a quick follow-up. Do they know that Grandma Ma has asked you any of this or that they might get any money or are they clueless? They're clueless. They're clueless. Let me jump in. I think the middle option when you said I could just pay something off for them, I would not do that. I think you're trying to control the situation too much.

They're who they are and they're grown and they're adults and they're going to make their decisions. I think if you try to get too controlling in that area, it's only going to lead to heartache for both parties. I'm ready to rule. Go ahead. I'll give you the last word. I'm just going to quickly say, I think you pick the number. I don't care if it's 10, the original thought. You pick a number that you can sleep good at night.

They don't know. So this is going to be found money for them. And I think you pick a number and the number that lets you sleep well at night. Jade, that's my take. It's what I would do if I were. I'm inclined to split it equally. Three ways. As long as nobody's doing drugs.

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't hate that. I don't have any kind of pushback. I'm just trusting your gut. I'm coaching you. It's your call based on what your instinct was. But I like that.

You got two options. Yeah. Thanks for the call. After the holidays, a lot of people start feeling budget pressure. And it's a wake-up call to get intentional. So listen, don't fall for buy now, pay later, cell phone plans that drag you back into debt. Boost Mobile keeps it simple with no contracts and no nonsense. Keep the phone you already.

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Hello. Yes, can you hear me? Yes, sir. Can you hear us? I got. Yes, sir, I can hear you as well. All right. How can we help?

Good. So, I have a question. So I think it was about two years ago. It would be two years in March. March, 24. I bought a brand new car right off the lot. At the time, I was like 23. Zero miles.

It's about $5.15 a month. with insurance is also another $300 a month. That's about like, I don't know, it's close to $900 a month, about $800 paying just on my car loan. I'm thinking should I, because like recently, like, I got laid off from my back then I was working and I was living in my parents' house, so it wasn't necessarily like the worst for me to go into that.

I mean, looking back at it now, I wish I didn't. But I was wondering, do you guys think I should like sell my car? I owe about $22,000 left on there. Yeah. I think Kelly Bluebook, yeah, so what do you all think I should do? I think, I'm thinking, yes, I want to get more information, but I'm starting with the yes. How much do you earn? Well, right now, I'm unemployed.

I'm back in school, so I'm living off unemployment right now. Okay. It's about $500 a week. Yeah, then definitely there's, I mean, if you really think about it, there is no other option. You can't afford this car. You don't have a job. And so for that reason, I don't. 100% would get out of this. Now you owe 22. What's it worth? 20. It's only problem.

No, it's not, it feels like a problem, but it's not as big a problem as you think. If I were you, I would try, are you still at your parents' house or no? Yeah, I am. Okay. What I would do is I would scrounge up $2,000 a month out of that $500 that you're getting, and I'd close the gap and get rid of this thing immediately. And then your next move, while you're doing that, you're picking up a job, any job, literally any job for now. And then you're going to scrounge up that money and you're going to turn around and take another two or $3,000 and you're going to buy a used car and cash. And I'm just saying this in the comments because I know people are like, you can't buy a $1,500. You can't buy a $2,000 car. Yes, you can. The car that I drive, my Cadillac,

It's a 2013 SRX. It's worth about $1,500. Now, I didn't pay that for it, but I've driven it. Seriously, the car that's out there? It's got 168,000 miles on it. It looks like it's worth more than that. It has no problems. I could sell it to you today, and you would be like,

wow, I can't believe I got this. So they're out there is all I'm saying. You might should sell it to him. He needs a car. Where do you think I can find a car for that affordable? You know what I mean? Because, like, my last car had, it was breaking down a lot. that's the reason why I ended up buying

a new car up a lot and it's a Honda too so I know it's gonna like my car that I have right now it's pretty reliable. You just need to make sure that you're doing a little bit of research and buy brands number one buy cars that you still see on the road like you can't go wrong with a

Camry, you can't go wrong with some of these cars that are still out there. You're just looking for something that's got a bunch of miles on it it's older and try to just get the report on it. Try to find out has it been in 10 wrecks? Has it been and spend a little bit of money to have a mechanic look at it and get the car fax on it.

That's really all you need to do. Matter of fact, you can, I don't know where you live, but here we have Christian Brothers Automotive, and that's where I take my car. My husband's car, both of us drive very used cars, and we take them in there and they'll look at it. If I was going to buy a new used car, a new to me or a used car today, I'd bring it over there, and they'll do the report on it.

And it's totally worth it. So that's what I would tell you to do. Once you have your eye on a car, say, hey, can I bring it over to my mechanic? mechanic, take it to Christian Brothers, and then they'll give you the full workup on it. Yeah, and just little specifics. I mean, you're looking at Facebook Marketplace, you're looking at, I don't know, what all the websites, but you're looking not so much for dealers, just everyday people who are looking to unload a car.

And if you're patient enough, and listen, you're going to have to, you know, assume some hardship, but you're living with your mom and dad. So there are options. So this idea that I got to have a nice car and all this kind of stuff, It's really not true. But, you know, if you are looking and you find somebody that's got a car in one of these Hondas or a Toyota, you know, that kind of thing, and again, you take it to Christian Brothers, they're going to give it a once over and you may have to put $500, $600, $600 into it.

But they're honest. Yeah. And they're going to tell you, this is a drivable car. Does it look pretty? Does it smell great? Is the carpet nice? None of those things are true when we're talking about the kind of car we're talking about here. but it gets you from A to Z.

I want to pivot for a second. What is the purpose of school for you? What are you doing? Is this community college? I'm in, no, I'm in trade school. I'm enrolled at an aviation mechanic school. So I have about like a year.

That's great. Fantastic. Daniel, I got to tell you. I appreciate that. I am so excited for you. What is it? I appreciate that. What is it costing you?

It's like about 40. that I took a loan. I wish I, like, I'm thinking about enrolling, because I was talking to somebody in my class today about it, about like, enrolling in the reserves, because I think they can, like, cover. I'm not mad at that idea. I don't dislike that either. I don't want you spending $40,000 on this trade school, but so if you can get out of that and not do that, that's great, but I love the trade school option for you, because you're going to make some really good money, my friend. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I just tried my final today. How old are you? I'm 25. Just by 26. Yeah, I like that. I'm going to tell you what I like about what you're doing.

I like that you were reflective enough to look at this car and say, this is not good. A lot of people would have tried to ride it out, kept it. I like that you're thinking about your future. You made a couple of mistakes. That's all right. You're on the right track. And Ken and I just want to really encourage you that you're on the right track. So do you believe, so talking to this guy, do you believe that you can get out of the commitment if you were to pull stakes and go to the reserves? In other words, are you on the hook? I want to make sure you're not on the hook for $40,000. Well, yeah, I am on the hook. That's the problem.

Like, I already took the loan, everything. You've already paid for the full thing. Yeah, it's already like paid for it. You know what I mean? I see. So you've already got the loan. and the school gets their money up front. And then a year from now, is that when you're done and then you start paying on the loan?

Yes. Yeah, but like I'm starting to make interest payment. I'm paying, like, I decided to pay, like, I think it's like $50 a month on the interest for now. How many hours of school? How many hours a week could you work? If Jayden and I just handed you an awesome paying job and knowing your commitment to trade school, how many hours a week could you work? I'll probably do about like 20 to 30.

Is there any kind of mechanical or apprenticing type work where you're getting a really nice chunk per hour? Fixing something? I was just talking to somebody in my school today. She helps find people to get jobs. Like, her role is to do that. It might help you find a job. So after you graduate, you can help get an A&P, but also while you're in school. Great.

Trying to find, like, an airport. So she was telling me about some jobs that pay about, like, 22, 23 an hour. will, they're basically like being a mechanic without the actual license. I'm so proud of you for asking, but Daniel, the answer is, yes, yes. I'll take it. I'll take whatever you can find

me up. This woman you're telling me about is your new best friend. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, yeah, I'm not I'm not, I'm not, I'm not a airport job just so I can get the flight benefits, but I'm not like, like, I know right now, like the end of the day, I just need a job. Yes, you do. It's pretty sustainable. Because, because we got to get out of this car mess,

action A is what Jade told you, you sell the car, you borrow mom, dads, they drive you, whatever. We scrape, we do whatever we got to do, we claw, and then we get to a point where we can buy a beater car. We talked about that, all right? We told you to go see Christian brothers if there's one in your area. Okay. Now, okay, and then it's just whatever you're making in this $23, $24 an hour job is going to pay off this debt so that you can knock as big a chunk of that out as possible so that when you hit the streets. Now again, if you go to the reserves, it's not a bad idea. But I like the options you're considering. Lay them all out on the table, seek the council of wise people in your life, make the best decision for you, and just avoid debt, my man.

I love that you're aware of this, but you can make really good money. And you've got a bright future ahead of you, Daniel. Bright future. Get rid of the debt. Stay away from it. If you missed open enrollment, don't panic. health plans lock you out for the year if you didn't sign up by December. But Christian health care ministries lets you join anytime. CHM offers a simple, flexible, and budget-friendly alternative to health insurance, and you can join anytime. That's right, no open enrollment deadlines. CHM is perfect if you're self-employed, starting a business, or in between jobs, because it gives you options without those out-of-control COBRA costs. And CHM isn't in-enroll.

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and your values. Check out CHministries.org slash budget to learn more. That's CHministries.org slash budget. All right, let's go to Madison, Wisconsin, where Alexis is joining us. Alexis, how can we help? Hi, guys. Hi. So my boyfriend and I are newly devoted and intentional with our money individually. All right. We talk about marriage, we talk about our incomes, our debts, and all those goals. And so with that being said, when we get married, I am intrigued to the idea of having one joint checking account and savings account with our incomes being deposited and budgeted from that we share versus if we were to have separate checkings and then just like one joint account. How would those operate in the idea of unity?

I mean, I like the first way you said that that's the way my husband and I do it. I'm guessing And Ken, that's the way you and Stacy do it, because there's full transparency there. The question that I'd be asking with the other way, having two separate checking accounts and then you take your monies and put whatever amount you deem necessary into the joint account, it's kind of like, well, what's the purpose there? So I'd have a lot of questions around that. What's the purpose? Why wouldn't we both have access to the full amount of funds?

Why wouldn't we both be planning what's done with that full amount of funds? Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, and that's what I was wondering. And just between the two, I'm more intrigued to the just one joint, or yeah, one joint checking and savings, but we just weren't sure what you guys would say. I would say that. I would say for transparency reasons and for the ability to be aligned

and everybody to see what's going on and kind of have a, you know, all hands in the center, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah. If you guys are both open with, that I think that's fabulous and I think you say say less let's do it now the the multiple accounts thing the only the only reason that I think people go for that is because there's still a bit of like independence that they want and there's still this bit of mine is mine lack of trust I want to keep a little bit over here for myself I don't want anybody to have to say about

what I spend money on over here I don't want to have to answer to like quote answer to anyone for this money that, do you see what I'm saying? So it really does beg many, many questions if you choose to do it that way, which I think you shouldn't. Okay, well, perfect. Because we're both on the same page of being intentional together. Love that. It's great. You're going to have a greater level of trust, greater level of confidence. It's such a good move. It's what we teach. We don't believe that married couple should have separate finances. Come together as one. So yeah, you guys are doing it great. Congratulations on all of this. Thank you.

Future dreaming and all this good stuff. We're here for you. As you move along, call us back and we'll walk through that with you. Ken, when you and Stacey got married, was that an automatic or did it take time for you guys to get that? It was automatic. Why? It's what our parents did. Yeah.

I mean, we grew up in a house where there were two accounts, a checking account and a savings account. Mm-hmm. Same. And we're not talking about investment, but just your everyday money. So, I mean, full disclosure, my wife and I are both pastor's kids. So very conservative Baptist, you know, small churches. So it wasn't just conservative theology. It was just conservative living.

Do you know what I mean? They lived a lesson they make. So that's all we ever knew. In fact, I wish Stacey were here because I don't think I'm wrong. I don't think we ever even had a conversation about it. about it at all. It just happened. It was just like, when we get back from the honeymoon, we got to, do we want to stay with my bank?

We were at two different banks when dating. And so she was in North Carolina and she was going to move to Virginia with, you know. So it was like, well, here's who I'm banking with in Virginia. And it was just kind of like, we got to set up a joint. It was just day one. That's so interesting. We never even considered. And I've always kind of done that dog head tilt when people call in.

to this day, even though I've sat in this hundreds of hours, you know, maybe thousands. And it's like every time I hear something like that, I go, I just, I just don't understand why you would want to have separate accounts. It's got to be a trust issue because I'm even thinking about Sam and I, and it was similar. It was just like you and Stacey. It wasn't even a question. And when I really think about it, I go, well, I had plenty of reason to say, you know, things I've seen.

and he had plenty of reason to say the things I've seen. Like, our backgrounds did not truly set us up to combine money. But I'm guessing we really just had trust in each other because it was like a no-brainer. I'm just going to say, and again, I mean, everybody has their own foibles and faults and everything. But just as a guy, now coming up on 28 years of marriage, I'm so grateful that my phone location is on

and she knows where I'm at all the time. I know that's right. Yes. She sees any expenditure. Yes. She has, I'm sure, the code, you know, the six-digit code to get into your phone. 100%. Yes.

We have the same phone password because, I mean, you know what I'm saying? Well, let's play devil's advocate. What would happen if you change your phone code and she said... I shut her at the thought of the idea of removing, not because I'm this bad person. Here's what I don't want. I don't want everybody like, Ken's flighting team. No, I'm just saying like, it's nice to live a life where you know. there's, I'm going to call it an instinctive accountability.

Yes. Like, we've both made mistakes with money. Yes. But we've never done something insanely stupid in our almost 20 years of marriage because even if I want to like surprise her. Yeah. I have to say, hey, listen, for the next 72 hours, I need you to not look at the account.

Don't look at the account. That's my life. Uh-huh. And she knows, why are you doing something squirrely? No, she knows, oh, you want to surprise me. My surprises are like, you got to reveal a little of the surprise. But I'm not griping about it. No, it's great.

I just think human nature left to its own devices. None of us are above doing something dumb, immoral, whatever, whatever, whatever. And I just think that when we talk about combining finances. It's accountability. And I like that we're going down the rabbit hole on this. I'm spending a little time on this because, Sometimes I want people to understand why we have a principle. And the principle that we teach here at Ramsey about joint finances isn't just about, you know, being responsible.

It's also to keep you from wrecking your life. You need somebody to go, what are, wait, what? What were you thinking about doing? You just spent what on what? Take it back. Yeah, 100%. Because when you have the separate accounts, what doesn't change is that. you do have a shared life.

But a shared life of separate accounts, to me, feels like a recipe for tension. Right? It's not fully shared. I agree with you. I agree. There's just something about it because if Sam had his own account, I would have quite,

I would just wonder what are you, I would wonder, what are you spending your money on? Not that he's a great guy. I have no reason to assume he's spending money on bad things, but to not know. And to not be told, it's like, why are you, why would you withhold information that is easily shared is basically what I'm saying. So that it creates something that may not even be there.

Yes. But just by the very nature of, well, I've got my thing and all this kind of stuff. One of my favorite stories, Sam just told me recently. So you guys in your budget, Sam and I, I've told you this. I'm not going to, I think I know where this is going. Well, I'm not going to share that part unless you want to share it. But Sam and I were having cigars recently. And he was telling me that you guys, like a lot of couples, you guys have your budget.

And it's his money. Yeah. His and hers money? His and hers. His and hers fun money. Yeah, it's fun money. And he said, I'll go months and months and months without spending it. And he goes, I'll just hold it aside, hold it aside, hold it aside, not use it at all,

and then go buy something really big. Yeah. And I like that. Yes. And it reminded me of how there's the individuality. Because you guys have decided ahead of time, this is my money, this is your money. this is your money and he may not spend it for months and months and months. And he told me this story because he went out and did something. And even then he was telling me and he was like,

do you think that's crazy? And I go, not at all. No. I said, I think that's a massive flex. Yeah. And when he told me, he goes, I thought that you were going to think this is the dumbest thing anybody could spend their money on. I said, I don't think that at all. Yeah. And I said, it's not dumb. I said, you know why? Because this thing you're doing is going to be a memory that your entire family will talk about 50 years from him. He bought an arrest. original Ninja Turtles suit from the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in the day. Four Family Halloween comes downstairs. Kids haven't seen it. He looks like he walked off a movie set. Yeah. And my kids, they'll never forget it. It was a great memory. And it was

expensive. Yes, it was. But he saved it up in his sock drawer for months. And that's how it works. Good on Sam, right? Good for him. Yes. I love it. Folks, if you're wondering where all your money went in 2025, that's pretty normal. And normal's broke, but this year can be different. We want you to get a head start by downloading every dollar. Every dollar builds your personalized plan and coaches you to find extra money. You can answer a few questions that we prompt you with and you'll find thousands of dollars on average to be able to save in just the first 15 minutes. And of course, it still has the great budgeting features to tell your money where to go. So don't go another year feeling broken stress. Start every

for free in the app store or Google Play. All right, AAA 825-5-225 is the phone number. Michael is up next in Knoxville, Tennessee. Michael, how can we help? Hey, guys. Appreciate you having me on Big Fan of the show. Thank you. How can we help? All right, so I'm going to try to kind of wrap this up. It's a lot as quick as I can.

I'm a football coach, high school football coach and teacher. A couple years ago, I took a job. job at a really prestigious school football-wise. It was a football move, but also, more importantly, from my family, it was a financial move. Been making more money as an assistant coach, honestly, that I thought I ever would unless I became a head coach, which is a goal of mine one day. Fast forward to now, you know, two years ago, we've played for a state championship, made it to the final four in another year, so football's been great. money's been great, but I've come to kind of realize that it's not a place where I want my kids to be at one day as far as when they start getting up in their school years and looking ahead at that.

That's kind of been an issue for me and it's been waiting on me. So since this season ended up, I've had actually two different places reach out to me with some offers to go to coach and teach, obviously. both are kind of pulling at me in two different directions. I feel like I'm at a roundabout, not a four-way. So it's like, you know, do I stay where I'm at making really good money knowing that it's going to kind of keep me away from my family more than I want? And then one job, okay, is at another prestigious place, really great place.

The pay's really good, not quite as good as what I'm making now. But, I mean, it's just top of the line as far as family atmosphere and having my kids. What do you mean by that? Can I ask a question when you said keeping you away from, first you described it as you didn't want your kids to grow up in that school system? Was that what it is? And then you said keeping away from my family. So is it your schedule or is it the community? Which one is it? Or is it a combination of both? Well, it's some of both. You know, it's a demand and schedule. But it's more so, you know, I've been blessed throughout my career. my daughter is nine now, and since she was a baby, she's just kind of been able to come with me so much throughout the offseason for meetings and practices. And I've had this dream of my boys, you know, when my daughter's cheering one day,

like she wants to do my boys, kind of being water boys and on the sideline, just being around me. Yeah, but you don't want them in this current school? Exactly. I don't. Absolutely not. Okay. So that's –

For reasons. Okay. Because of time, I want to get, I feel like I heard we got a good grip on what you are doing now. So you gave us another option. Is there another? So we got where we are and then we have option A and B. Am I understanding that correct? That's right.

All right. So option A is fabulous school. How much less money? Seven grand a year less. The downside of that can is it's three and a half hours away. So it's selling a house we build on my wife's family's land. that she kind of deeded to us, which we've talked to them about it. They're okay with it, but there's that stress of, you know,

because it's kind of a quick turnaround, you know, getting ready for next season. So if I take this job, you know, then we have that stress of finding another home, which I don't think is going to be the issue, but selling hours in a short amount of time, you know, or do we rent it? There's that whole thing that's really just stressing me out. I get it. And let me ask a quick question on that one. is your wife open to moving from this current place where it's your family's land or her family's land?

She is. Great news. I'll tell you this. This is a lot. And so we've got three children, and we actually have one on the way. Come on. All right. Well, Coach, I ain't worried about you.

You can handle it. I understand this is stressful, but I'm okay. Now, let's look at Option B real quick. Talk us through Option B. Option B is actually my hometown, my alma mater. I've worked for the guy who's there now before. He's like a father-to-mey, great guy. I love the guys on staff.

I played there. He wants me to come back. Also, both of these position offers are for coordinator positions. So it's a move up there. It's a significant pay cut. So it would be a, you know, $25,000 pay cut. Yikes. Yeah.

And are you the sole income? I am. My wife stays at home. I am. Okay. Before I weigh in on this, I want to know the truth, Coach. Where is your heart? If no one else is involved, Jade and I aren't weighing in, your wife's not weighing in,

nobody's weighing in on it. In the quiet of night, what's your heart telling you about these three? Stay A or B? Option A. I mean, I want to go. I want to go to this. I want to move up north. I want to go to the mountains.

Come on. Come on. Come on. It's just that fear of the home, you know. I'm not worried about that. All right, let's walk through that. But before we walk through that, I want Jade to walk through any of these logistics. She's great at this kind of stuff.

Here's what I want to say, okay? As a guy who's completely objective sitting here and listen to this, I want to go with your heart answer unless your heart answer is stupid. And your heart answer ain't stupid. Now, it's a coordinator job. So it sets you up to be a head coach one day. So this is obviously, this meets the last. box. I'm always looking at when I give advice to people, does this get me further up the ladder

or position me to move up the ladder and it puts you further up the ladder? The $7,000 hit, I'm going to absorb that because if I amortize that over 12 months, I can tighten the belt and I can absorb a $7,000 hit. 25's too much. And I think if you play your cards right with your old coach on that. Maybe you replace him one day. Who knows, who knows. So I like option A. It's now just about handling that stress.

Jade, you've moved recently with younger kids. Walk him through what he needs to do. If his wife's on board, sounds like she is. He's stressed out about a move three and a half hours away to get there, get on board, get ready to go for the season. What does he got to walk through? I mean, both of you have to agree, number one. I hope that her gut instinct is the same as your gut instinct,

or else you guys have many conversations to have. That's fair. Does she think A is the best move? She does. It's important to her for that family atmosphere for sure. Fantastic. And then after that, I'm just going to say, so I know that the location on screen is not accurate

and probably the location that you're telling us you're going is not accurate. But is it a couple of states over? Are you moving? No, same state. I'm in South State. I'm in a southern part of the state. Okay. Three and a half hours up, you're, you know, in the mound.

Okay, got it. That's right. You did say three hours away. The biggest thing is just to plan for and save up as much as you can in this interim because moving is expensive. It takes time to get settled. There's a lot of eating out during that time. There's a lot of, oh, gosh, we just realize we don't have this

and you run over to Walmart and get it, right? There's just a lot of expenditures that come up. So I would just be going through the budget. with a fine tooth comb right now, figuring out what we can, you know, save money on so we can stack up as much cash as possible, get as much information ahead of time. How are you going to move? Are you going to do the U-Haul thing? Are you going to, you know, have somebody carted over for you? What are you going to do? And just make a plan and stick to the plan. That's the best thing that you could possibly do on this. And then what I would also do, probably tonight or this weekend, because

we're coming up on the weekend, I would set a date night with your wife and say, let's make a budget. with this $25,000 pay cut? No, no, no, seven. Seven. Option A is a $7,000 hit. Okay, let's make a budget with that $7,000 hit and see how this is going to affect things. Just again, so that there's no surprises,

or so at least you're mitigating the surprises. There's always going to be a few. You know what I wish, Coach? I wish in the background we had the theme song from the greatest television show of all time, Friday Night Lights. Did you ever watch it, the TV show? Absolutely. All right, Coach, finish it up for me.

I feel like there's only one thing to say for you. Clear eyes. Full heart. Can't lose. Can't lose. Go get them, coach. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio. I'm Ken Coleman.

Bestselling author of What No One Tells You About Money, brand new national bestseller, top in the charts. We shared the news earlier today if you didn't know. Super excited to be sitting next to her. She is Jade Warshaw. So fun. Congratulations again, my friend. That's always a fun.

fun and very, very rare air. So congratulations to you. Thank you. McKenzie is up next in Orlando, Florida. McKenzie, how can we help you? Hey, thanks for having me. I was calling to get your thoughts on an idea I have around possibly selling a rental property, and it might be good for me to give you some background. Yes. So I currently make 400,000 a year. And my wife's in school. She's going to be working once she finishes her grad school.

She's probably making about 150. But we don't have any credit card debt. We don't have any card notes. The debt we do have is 850 on our current house. And we have combined about 300,000 in student loan debt. Okay. And then my first. house that I had before our marriage has a mortgage of about $450 on it, so all in about $1.6.

Okay. Okay, go ahead. So the rental property that has $450 on it, it cash flows about $1,200 a month, which is good. It's been phenomenal. It's in, like, the best part of the city, great schools. It's just, it's a great location that will probably appreciate it really fast. But my question of you is, that house has about $1,000. $300,000 in equity.

Okay. Is it worth holding on to the house, continuing to rent it, and having it as a cash-flowing asset once I get into retirement, or is it better to sell it now, take the $300,000 in equity, and pay off student loans for my wife and myself? I personally, I'm going to give you two options here. there's part of me that I would sell this house immediately to clear the student loans. Then I look at your income and I go, well, heck, I want to know how quickly she's going to be making 150. She graduates in May and she'll start working in August.

Interesting. Now, I want to know this because this is a lot of times we step into real estate and it's just like by default. I just had this house and I decide not to sell it and so now it became this. Is this, if you were looking to buy a real estate, rental, would you have picked this house? Because it just so happens. No. You said no. Okay, that's all I need to know. That's all I needed to know. Can I have some context? I don't know. I don't think so because if you had said, you started by saying it's in a great neighborhood, it cash flow so well. And every once in a while here, when people have stepped into real estate, even if they've done it the wrong way, if it seems like it

could benefit them, I'm not as quick to sell it off. Right. But in this case, all I need to know is, is this a good enough property that you would have bought this looking? And you said, no. That's all I needed to know, Ken. What about you? The context, the context. He, look at it. McKinsey's in the corner. You painted him in the corner and now he's trying to get out. Okay, get out. I want to give him a shot. The answer you provided probably, it might be right. But the reason why I said, no, is not because it's not in a great area, is that if I was investing in real estate, I wouldn't look at a $500,000 house, which is what this was

where I bought it. I would be looking. Exactly. But it has worked out that it has rented well and cash flowed and it's in the best area and it has the best schools. And so I do think if I look down the road 20 years and I look back, I'd be like, man, I'm glad I have this house and, you know, thankful. But then there's also the looming $300,000.

Right. And I see what you're saying. I totally understand it. What I was trying to get to was, could there be some intentionality around this? that you could look back and go, I didn't mean to do this, but I'm so glad this dropped in my lap because if I was, I would have picked this. I just didn't know I was looking, right? That would have been a little bit different for me. I think for you, I don't think that the opportunity, I think that it's, I think that it's a fair tradeoff for you to say, well, I can pay off the $300,000 of student loans if I clear out this property. and then by the time, you know, the house is up on the market, it sells.

By then, my wife's going to be making $150,000. How quickly could we then pay off our current home? And then how quickly could we say, you know what, let's get back into real estate. And now let's purchase a thing that we think we would have bought, which like you said, is not a $500,000 house. It's probably something half that price. And you could do that so very quickly and do it from a position of stability because there's no debt. Your personal residence is covered. that sort of thing. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, that's great. And I really appreciate that insight. One of the things that I did look at is like, if I kept the house, how fast could I pay off the rental house and my primary house? I had that thought, too. What's the answer? If I double down on it, the answer is 18 years. Oh. However, if I sell the rental property now and then put everything into the primary house, I could pay it off in 10.

I like plus pay off the loan if I sell the house I could play off the loan and have my primary paid off in 10 years That's what I'm saying Let me ask you a question McKenzie I feel like we've talked around this enough

I thought jade's answer's fantastic I have a question for you When you dialed us up today Which way were you leaning What were you going to do? What were you thinking you were going to do what you wanted to get our take? I have been So I've been noodling on this for about

A month, I have been torn until about two days ago and I was leaning towards selling it. Then can I just tell you something? It's probably 55, 45. Okay. So the reason I asked that question is because you've already gotten great advice. There's nothing I could add to what Jade said. I thought she said it beautifully. I agree with Jade.

But I want to know what you were thinking before you called. And when I asked that and the answer, Jade, is the same thing that you say? Yeah. Then I say, I know Jade's right. No offense, McKenzie. You're emotionally involved. She's not. She's got experience.

We've got principles. But I guess I'm trying to help you see that your gut, your head were aligned and they were right. And I'm just going to tell you, you just got coached to the same position you were, even though you're going to say 55, 45, 45. The 45 is some type of doubt. It's a fear. Some type of fear. some type of influence from some other thing. The 55 is McKenzie.

So that's all I'm going to say. And I really appreciate that because I probably do get in my head about it a little too much. We all do. Welcome to the club. Yeah, I think the thing that I overthink, which I probably should have included this earlier on too, is the money that I make is relatively new for me, but I think it's very sustainable for the next 20 years.

But I say that to say, I haven't put away as much for retirement as I would have liked. And even though I'm going to work for 20 more years, I see myself, like, if I'm able to keep this house, it's going to give me good income to supplement 401K and other investments. What's going to give you more income? What's going to give you more ability to put away is your actual income. That's right. You having that at your disposal, not having the stress of $300,000 of debt. Because the thing you have to remember, McKenzie,

is debt changes the way you make decisions. It changes the choices you make. It changes everything. When you have $300,000 of debt and $850,000 of a home loan and another $500,000, it changes all the decisions that you make. And you need clarity. And so the way you get clarity is you clear out the debt. Then you can see, okay, now I can see very clearly. There's not this negative fear influence. And it really does open the path up for you. All right. Let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey trusted agents aren't just experts

who guide you through buying or selling. They're people you can trust to have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey trusted agent near you at Ramsey Solutions.com slash agent. That's Ramsey Solutions.com slash a... All right, our Ramsey Show question of the day is sponsored by Y-R-R-FI, if defaulted private student loans, if taken over your life, Y-R-R-R-F-I can help you breathe again with a low fixed-rate plan that fits your budget. Visit y-refi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey, not available in all states. Okay, today's question comes from Trevor in Utah. He says, I recently spent a total of $6,000 on two luxury watches, which I paid for in cash.

The purchase hasn't impacted our finances in any way. My wife and I are in our 30s and earn over $200,000 a year. We contribute 15% of our income to retirement. We pay extra towards our mortgage every month and carry no other debt. I haven't told my wife about the watches yet. How do I bring this up to her? I hope they're his and hers. Listen, Ken.

Okay. Okay. So let's... Oh, I've got like major acid reflux on behalf of this guy. I need some pepto immediately. Let me frame it up. Let me frame it up first. Okay, first off, money wise, like dollars wise, fine. No biggie, right? You check every box on the financial, responsible adult checklist that I can see. I'm sure you're generous. I'm sure you're on some sort of a budget. Those are the only two you didn't mention outright. I wonder, I don't know, Ken and I talked in an earlier segment about Sam and I having separate fund money. And I don't know if this is a case where you're like, hey, I just saved up my fund money for a while

or this was money that was kind of budgeted over to me and I just stacked it up and bought these watches. Fine, if that's what you did. My biggest question is if that wasn't the case and you just strolled through the, you know, through the checking account, you just took it out. He never noticed. That's kind of weird. Or else he wouldn't have written in saying, how do I bring this up?

This is. Was it a secret? Yeah, 100%. Anybody that's going, how do I bring this up? It's like, uh, so your wife didn't know that you were going to go buy two watches? I mean, it's for him, not even one for her. Well, I don't know what he's doing. I don't know if he's reselling them.

I don't know. We just don't know. We need more. Okay. Let's roll play it. You know what? Okay. So if I, five, five, five,

flush the peptobismol out of my brain and I go okay what what I do um you went to Las Vegas you got caught up in the moment and bought two watches not with winnings or maybe it was winnings oh no it's a it's a non-conversation of its winnings okay non-con so let's say you got caught up out of our account for two watches and I didn't tell Stacy ahead of time um and it's been a little while You know I'm having a problem with this because there's just no scenario under the sun by which that happens. No, me neither. But I guess I'm going to say, hey, listen, I did something spontaneous, pretty impulsive. I feel great about it or I feel whatever.

He's got to be honest. He doesn't include any of this. I think you's got to be really, really honest and say, hey, how do you feel about this? Because here's what I do know about luxury watches. He can resell those. He's not stuck with it. Well, oh no, trust me. I have a friend in Atlanta who made it, who made a nice living buying nice watches.

But he has two for 6,000. It's not that, that, that nice. I'm thinking of a nice watch. Well, but I'm just saying like, uh, those are nice watches. He can, he can move those. He can move those? A hundred percent. I'm just, I'm thinking about the nice ones.

Yes, but it's not a car. That's true. It's not a car you drive off the lot. There's no depreciation in luxury. he watches. Yeah. So, um, he hasn't said that he plans to resell him. I'm just saying, no, I'm saying when he goes to her, he's got to go, hey, here's what I did. I should have told you. I'm telling you now. Here's why I did it. He's got to explain his why. He needs to know why he did it. That's the advice. Your first piece is figure out why did you do this and not tell her. So that that way,

when you bring the conversation up, you can speak from an honest place. That's all I got, Ken. I, this is so foreign to me. It's like someone asking me, how do you solve a trigger? The question is, I don't know. No idea. Couldn't do it if my life depended on it. So there's no scenario by which I, I'm just trying to think. Okay, I'll tell you what. I did make a purchase, almost as exact amount of money.

Exactly amount of money. Okay. Tell us more. And I didn't tell Stacey, but it was a surprise. Was it for her? For the family. Oh, okay. So this is not like two nice watches. It was a, it was a, you know what it is.

I don't want to share it. You can share it. I know. It's just, I don't, you know, he's very private. So I'm not. I would be like, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so, point is. How'd she react?

Well, it was, it's back to the previous code where I said, hey, I'm doing something, because I had to ask her where the checkbook was. Understood. Wow. Well, because I don't write checks. Yeah. So you're like, I'm going to do this thing. It's going to, did you tell her how much it would cost?

No. I just said, trust me. she does. Like she knows I'm not going to go do something stupid with money. So I said I'm going to make a pretty substantial purchase. And you just got to trust me and I need a check for it. And I need you to stay out of the, you know, do your little recon a couple days from now, at which point it will allow me to reveal it.

And it's really something fun and exciting for the family. And you agree. And by the way, my family loves it. Great. It wasn't for me. And how'd she react when she saw what you spent and what you spent it on? She absolutely loved it. Great.

But true story. Had I gone to her ahead of time and said, I want to spend this on that, she would have tried to talk me out. Because she has a few times before. That makes sense. But that's not this, is it? You know that. He didn't tell us enough.

He should have. Trevor, wherever you are, call in and tell us more, please. But here's why I told my story on this. thing that I bought. Had Stacy walked out and seen it when I showed it to her? And had she been like, uh-uh, what are you doing? What did you spend on this? You would have taken it back. A hundred percent, I would have. So Trevor, you need to be prepared to take back these watches if it doesn't sit right with his wife. I almost didn't land the plane. You landed it. Right? But does that make sense? I was doing this with the air traffic controls. But my point is, as long as you're willing to

backtrack it and you can backtrack it, then all as well. All as well. Agree. By the way, you and the Warsaw family will very much enjoy this. How is that? Trust me. They're going to love it when they come over. All right, cool. Cool. They're just going to absolutely love it. Okay, great. I was like, are you going to...

I'll tell you on the commercial. Great. Thank you. Let's go to Danny and Minnie and Apple. Let's see, do we have time for Danny? Yes, we can do this. Yeah, we can do that. Danny, how can we help? Hi, Jade. Hi, Ken. How are we doing today? Well, we're having a blast. What's going on with you? Awesome. I'm 21 years old.

I turn 22 next month. And I live at my parents' house. I rent from them for $500 a month. I'm thinking, I've been thinking, I've been trying to move out for probably like a year and a half or so. What stopped you? Well, in order to get into what you guys would recommend of 25% of your take-home pay. That's a little bit hard.

Now I think my income can support rent, but it's still pretty steep, pretty steep where I live. So in 2025, it was $50,000 after taxes. So I have a bunch of different income sources because I'm self-employed. Okay. Is that steady for you, $50,000? Sorry, what was that? Is that steady for you?

$50,000 a year? Yeah, so, yeah, so I'm only expecting it to go up. There's no reason it shouldn't. But it's not steady month to month. So it's very like, in the winter it slows down because I have a detailing company. So in the spring, it's super busy. And then I have other sources. So here's what you've got to do.

You know those winter months when it slows down and you have a good idea how much time you will have, start finding some supplementary work so that we don't have a dip in income. Or if it is, it's negligible and you can budget for that. Yeah, whenever you have irregular income, having a fund set aside of what you know that gap is going to be and keeping that replenished all the time is so good to have. Yeah, I like that you're trying to keep it at the 25% rule. Just make sure that when you make the jump, you're ready. You're going to have first and last month's rent and all of that other stuff and budget to make sure that you can truly afford it before you make the leap.

Hey guys, what's up? It's Jade, and I'm pumped for the new year, and I hope you are too. But the problem is, most people start the new year with a lot of promises and no real plan. You know how it is. I'm going to save money or I'm going to get my financial act together. But without a plan, you just wing it and hope it works out. Listen, don't play yourself. I want you to win.

and our Every Dollar app is the game changer you need. In 15 minutes, every dollar helps you build a plan based on where you're at with money right now. And every day, the app coaches you with ways to find extra money so you can beat debt and build wealth faster. It's like having me in your pocket, helping you stay on track all year long. So don't just wish your money works out. You can be the one to actually make it happen this year. Download the Every Dollar Budget app and get started right now for free. Everybody.

Yes, you. Yes, and you. Everybody needs insurance. But it can be hard trying to find pros who aren't just looking to make a buck and sell you some product you don't need. Ramsey trusted insurance pros are vetted and coached to make sure that they're not only market experts,

but they also have your best interest at heart. Ramsey Solutions.com slash coverage is where you go to find the type of insurance you actually need. Ramsey Solutions.com slash coverage. Ryan is up in Ottawa, Ontario. Ryan, how can we help? Hey, how are you? Good. How are you today?

Good, thank you. Just kind of had a question and trying to get different, you know, just if I can get some navigation through it, doing a cohabitation agreement with a partner there, just, you know, between the finances. Ah, interesting. So just to make sure I understand. Your girlfriend, you're thinking of having her move into where you live. Well, she has been already, right? Okay.

But also it's like, you know, it's something that I personally feel should be put in place. Okay. In writing. Yes. What does that entail? I've not, interestingly, not heard of one of these. So is it just a contract that she'll pay X amount of rent? No, not even that.

But just in case, you know, we break up or something, just to make sure that I'm protected from my assets and everything like that, especially if she'll be living with me. Why would your assets be in trouble or under threat if she's living with you? Is it different in Canada? Yes, a little bit different in Canada, yeah. Oh, well, enlighten us. Well, you know, if somebody does live with you for an extended period of time, they might be able to take some of your assets, right?

Okay. Well, what kind of assets? Like your house. Oh, like split it? Or divide up something like that. How long? Like, after 10 years? Is it like a common law thing?

Not even that. Yeah, it basically becomes common law. Yeah, but how long? After like three, four years, I do believe. Wow. Okay. There's the possibility of it, right? Yeah, sure.

But even still, I don't know. People have different opinions on it, right? Just but want to make sure that it's not. I wouldn't do it. I'm just going to tell you my opinion. I would not live with somebody for three years or whatever, like, whatever the Canadian law is. Like if I wasn't interested in marrying them, I sure as heck would not live with them in that period of time.

And then you're just, it's just like you're on the high wire without a safety net. Like, why? So, so relationally, I need to make my decision prior to that. How long have you been together? Both the time. About that time. You guys have about three or four years? And she's been living with you that entire time?

Yes. Oh, so. You're feeling it creep up. You're like, wait a minute. Let me get my stuff in writing just in case. Well, I got it. Yeah. I'm a bit of a concern.

Well, wait a second. But even still, right? No, hold on. Wrong. I don't know. This is all so foreign to me. Forgive my American brain, but also I'm a bit old-fashioned. So do you want to marry this girl?

Yes or no? Yes. Yes. Then put a ring on it. Now. What's stopping you? What are we waiting on? Yeah.

Tell us what stop me. Can I say this really quick? You sound like a guy who's not sure he wants to marry me. Because the phone call was, hey, guys, should I get a cohabitation agreement with this woman who's been living with me? Because Canadian law says if she lives with me, as long as she has right now, if we break up, she gets some of my assets. And I want to protect my assets. Nowhere in there did I hear a guy who wants to spend the rest of his life. with this woman?

Well... Hold on. This, we're getting somewhere. What does that, hmm, mean? Oh, just listening to the opinion, right? Do you not see my... Do you not see how it comes across? Yes, sir.

I have something I want to add, though. What do you do for a living? I'm in construction. Interesting. So I'm trying to find out if you're just a guy who's interested in details and not really emotion. Like, I'm like, if this guy's an accountant, I get it.

because he's just calculating, just thinking all, you know what I'm saying? I think if I do that, I don't think it's a reflection of what I do. Yeah. I think nine out of ten women, I wish I could poll a bunch of women on this very call. There's women out in the audience. Okay, ladies in the lobby, does this guy, if you were his girlfriend and you heard that setup, would that make you feel like running to the altar? No. They all shook their head, no.

All of them said no. Yeah. So here's my point. I'm going to shake my head too. How do you? All right. So here's my point. I'm actually trying to save you.

Oh. I don't think you want to marry this girl. Okay. And if you do, just go ahead and marry her. We might be totally wrong, Ryan. I could be wrong. I'm just saying your question was about a cohabitation agreement. Yeah.

Not should we have separate finances when we marry? You didn't ask us about that. Has she asked about marriage? Oh, yes. We talked about it. she say? Oh, 100% right? It's it is the plan. When? Do you guys have kind of a horizon? Not yet. Okay, but she definitely wants to marry you and you definitely want to marry her. Yes. What do you think stopping you? Is it like a money thing? Is it we want to pay off debt or we want to do this?

Honestly, there's some days that I can't give that answer. Huh. Maybe I should have thought about that a little bit more before calling in. I may be. I mean, it's something, it's food for thought. We're not, hey, we're not judging. We're not. We're not. It's just, it really is. It's something, I think we uncovered something that does require a little bit more thought. You thought you were calling for one thing and you got another. Yes, let me say this. In the meantime, you should do some sort of agreement if that's what you feel like is going to cover you. Yeah, we should circle back. That is the goofiest law I've ever heard. Don't mind saying it, but it is the law of the land. So yeah, I would. I would. get something to protect your assets pretty quickly, although given the, what I've heard today, I don't know that that's not going to create a bunch of tension. It might. It has. Oh. Ryan, it keeps getting.

I felt like maybe I was the crazy one. And you're not crazy, Ryan, but I'm sitting there going, now you've got to bring up a cohabitation agreement with her to protect your assets after having talked marriage. Are you at least engaged? It's always been a thing that I've wanted, though, just like not just. say, but I just, you know, I've worked hard for, you know, what I have, I believe, right? So and. But have you at least proposed?

It's one thing to get married, but have you even proposed? Oh, Brian. That's the only thing he's been certain about on this entire call. Was that, and you hear that answer? Now what's, I could understand, like, I'm not ready to actually do the ceremony, but what's kept you from proposing? He doesn't know. Just the timing of everything I feel.

I know, you know, you can't put anything like it's a, hey, You know, it's never the perfect time, so it could always be the perfect time. Yeah, how about tonight? Seven o'clock on the dot and you drop top. Do you hear that answer? He's laughing. Somebody get him a brown bag on the other end of that call.

I know, I know. He is hyper-ventilating. You want to know what I would do if I were in your shoes, Ryan? I'm going to tell you, if I were, if I turned into you today, I would call up my counselor, Vanessa, and I would say, help me out. I just talked to these folks, and they really are making me think, Why am I not proposing? Why am I not getting married?

What's going on? I thought it was a money thing. I think maybe I just don't know. Help me unpack this. That's what I do. Ryan, it's the best thing you've heard this entire call. I'm having a lot of fun. But listen, I am concerned if I could play older brother.

If you were my younger brother, I'd go, hey, man, I don't want you committing yet, like on anything. Gohabitation agreement or anything because there's something that's catching you. And it doesn't mean it's bad. doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, but I think the advice Jay just gave you, I'm going to endorse that 100%. Let's get with a therapist and just straight up, lay it out in a safe environment, and see if they and you can figure out what is holding you up. Okay.

Nothing wrong with you. Yeah, yeah, listen. No shame, no shade coming at you. But my man, I know you didn't call for this, but I don't want you to be in any kind of agreement, marriage or cohabitation, and be regretting it, okay, and worried about my money and all these things. We're rooting for you. Call us back and tell us what happens. Yeah, I'd love to hear the other side of the story. Wow. Man, man. Hey. It'd be like that sometimes, Ken. And it's okay. I would rather have someone press pause on a relationship like this. Absolutely. Absolutely.

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Our scripture of the day, Hebrews 12-11. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Our quote of the day, Bonnie Pruden, you can't turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again. Renee is up in Columbia, South Carolina. Renee, how can we help? Hey there, how are you guys? Thanks for taking my call.

You bet. What's going on with you? So I'm 57 and I was just let go from my sales job right before Christmas. I'm so sorry. I'd only been there five months. Oh, I know. I've never been fired before. Oh, man. Well, welcome to the club. I've done it twice and, you know, it's no fun, but there is life on the other side. Well, that's where I am. I'm trying to decide what to do.

You know, I'm not sure I want to remain in sales and I'm looking, do I look for a job full time? do I look for a job and work part time or do I invest in my side hustle and grow that because then no one can ever fire me again. Well, actually, customers can fire you. It's amazing how many calls we take. So I do want to set the record straight on that because it's a healthy mindset. Because here's the answer, Renee. I want you running to something, not away from something. So a couple quick questions.

I want Jay to weigh in too. So rapid fire for a moment here. What is the side hustle? So we own a photo booth company. We've only been in this area for a year, and we haven't started it, but it was a side hustle we did in our previous state that we lived in. Okay, and based on that track record, what do you think revenue could be that you could generate once you get it up and going? I mean, it just depends. It would probably start small.

I think, I mean, we did very little with it, and we made about $20,000. I mean, we didn't even try. And it would be very little at first, but as we got up, we could invest in more equipment, have more booths, and go from there and just see how big we can get it. All right. To our best here, let's try to do apples to apples. I know it was a different state, different place. How many hours, I mean, would you be able to put in more hours of your time than you did

previously that generated the 20,000? Oh, yeah. I mean, I didn't put hardly anything into it. I'd be able to work at full time. Okay. All right. Next question. You said we.

Are you in a double-income family? Yeah, that's one of the things. We are financially stable. You know, we did the baby steps a long time ago. Right. No debt except for the house. But I grew up with financial insecurity and I can't get that scared person out of my head. I feel like I have to make money right now.

Okay. Well, but let's, okay, then let's just sit there for a second. So are we talking about your husband here? Is that the other income? Okay. What does he make? Somewhere between, depending on bonus, $2.30 to $2.75 a year.

And you have no debt? Just a house. Oh, good heavens, Renee. You really did grow up in a tough situation. I don't know anything to ask. Your husband makes $230,000 and you're worried about a sales job, and you have no debt. I'm guessing what's your retirement situation?

We've got about $900 and a 401K. and other hundred in investments and 50-something in a money market. Renee, set yourself free and go try the photo booth thing. Have some fun with that for crying out loud. It is a fun business. It is a very fun business. Then go have fun at 57 years young. You don't need income.

You don't need your income. True or false? No, it was gravy. So we may have to go out to dinner less or maybe not take a big vacation or, you know, because we have. sitting next to the budget queen on $230,000 and no debt, Jade. Are we worried about vacations? Not really.

Of course we're not. I think you'll be fine. How do I get that girl out of my head, though? You need to tell her the truth a lot. Don't ignore her. Just remind her all the time. That's a good question. Reminder all the time.

Yeah. Because I truthfully, that's where my heart lies and I feel like there's a lot of things pointing into building up this business. but I just for something about that guaranteed salary that just which it wasn't a ton but you know it's just making that decision but I'm much in those five months did that job suck the soul right out of your body oh quite a bit I had a feeling I had a feeling Renee so so so I think I think Jay just said something so incredibly wise so I'm actually can I piggyback off what you said what's I feel like I'm getting an assistant. Okay. You're assisting me. You have to tell yourself the truth often. And I feel like in this call a minute ago, when I walked you through some questions, and then we got to the truth of 230,000 and no debt, and when I and Jade kind of tag team reminded you of your financial situation, you didn't have any anxiety about money in those moments, did you? No. So it might be as simple as some fun like journal or legal pay. or something on your phone, a note on your phone. And when you start to feel that old voice of insecurity around money, you just go back and you look at your numbers.

Pull up your investment dashboard. Well, we got 900 and some thousand here. We got 100,000 here in seven years. That's going to be 1.8. And just do a refresh. That's what I heard from you. I love that advice. Can I tell you a true story, Renee?

Oh, I love it. Sure. I had gone through a period where I was dissatisfied. And for reasons that it doesn't matter, but I was complaining a lot. And I made a deal with myself. I said, for as much as I complain, I have to say just as much that I'm grateful for and thankful for. And when I did that, it made me realize how much I was complaining. because I had to say the same thing right back.

I think if you make a deal with yourself and you say for each time mentally that I catch myself replaying whatever the story is that you replay about, you know, not having enough or whatever that fear thought that you have, if you make a deal with yourself that say every time I do this, I'm also going to come back and say, we have 900,000 in our account. My husband makes $275,000. We paid off all our debt. Our mortgage is almost got, right? and combat it, don't let it win.

You know, thoughts and emotions, they're like waves. We can't stop them from coming in, but we get to choose which one we surf, right? You've heard that. It's the same thing. You get to choose, and awareness is key. You know that it's happening. So now it's about capturing it in the moment and going, all right, that came. I can't stop it from happening, but what I can remind myself is what's true and replace it

and dwell on that for a while and spend just as much time, if not more, dwelling on that than the thought that initially came in and tried to I love that. I got an idea, Jade. What? All right, Renee, round figures, aren't going to hold you to this. This is a fun exercise. You ready?

Mm-hmm. Based on how many times you and the hubs go out to dinner in 12 months and a nice vacation, what is that number all in? Maybe 20,000. And can you recall what you told me you made on the photo? booth business that you did nothing with in a previous season of your life. Could you tell me what the number was? About 20,000. Bingo was his name, though. So what if we launch, we relaunch with new energy lessons learned, and we say to hubs, I'm going to launch a photo booth business. And every penny

above and beyond just the expenses of the business goes to vacation and dinners. Oh, love it. I love it. I love I love that. I'm pretty excited about that idea. I'll be honest with that. That's motivating. It came to me while you were talking. I'm like, wait a second. And I didn't know, by the way, that it was going to match up to 20 and 20, but I thought that the photo booth revenue will easily cover your dinners and your nice vacation you're so worried about. Yeah. See, that's why I called you guys, because I knew you could help me work through this. I'm literally sitting here with my budget in front of me. And I literally have asked him probably four times a week. How much do we have? what's in our accounts. Leave that man alone. Would you leave him alone, please, and just get yourself your own dashboard

and your own exercise like Jay just gave you and go launch that business. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to do that. Thank you. I mean, I really appreciate it. I feel so much lighter now. Good, definitely.

That's what we like. Yes. We like it. We like people to call in heavy and float off the phone. Float away. I love it. Good job, Ken. Well, I didn't, listen, that was all you.

You just threw me a really nice lot. pass. But how funny that the numbers matched up. I know. I know. That made me feel really happened. Listen, that's a nice trip to Bora Bora. I should probably take the rest of the day off after that. I'm never going to be that lucky again. Remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's the walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.