The Ramsey Show - Sacrifice To Win

Starting point is 00:00:05 Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life from the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw, and we are answering your questions about life and money. So give us a call at AAA 825-5-2-2-25.

Starting point is 00:00:36 Up first we have Sue in Tampa, Florida. Hi, Sue, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you? Hi, we're doing great. How can we help? So the reason I reached out to you guys is because you're very Christian-based. And so my dilemma is my mom's in her 70s, never worked a traditional job where she could get Social Security on her own. So my parents got divorced when it was time for retirement.

Starting point is 00:01:01 She did the calculation based on my dad's income so she has a very small amount of Social Security. In her 50s, my dad helped her buy a house. She sold it and went on the mission field and basically funded herself. Never was funded by a church. Whenever she'd have a financial crisis, she would reach out to my sister or I, and we had to help her, right? So she's used a lot of this, like the Bible teaches us to honor our parents, and she uses that pretty much as her weapon to get me and my sister to continuously support her. So I wanted to reach out to you guys because you are a Christian-based company. morally, like, I'm remarried with a blended family and we still have three minor kids in the house that we provide for.

Starting point is 00:01:47 And, like, morally are my sister and I responsible for our mom for her choices? Well, I mean, from a basic level, no. I feel like we're all adults. Yes. And we all get to make our decisions. And as much as an honoring and respecting and taking care of are all three different categories. or he's awarding, right? So honoring is a very different thing than even just respecting, right? Some parents are like, you need to respect me. It's what the Bible says. It's like, no, no, no. It says,

Starting point is 00:02:16 I should honor you. What does that look like? It doesn't say, you know, that you have to fund every member of your family, including your parents financially, when they have been adults and haven't made good decisions. It also says, Sue, in there, you reap what you sow. Decisions that you make about your life will come to fruition. It also says, take care of your family. first or you're worse than an unbeliever. So you're taking care of your nuclear family first before anyone else. Right. So I'm like, you can bat around scripture as much as you want.

Starting point is 00:02:49 Right, right. And people can pull their punches and their own way of looking at it. And so I think, you know, what you're feeling is not wrong. And where you feel like you're being maybe taken advantage of and stressed of taking care of your own family, you have to figure out priorities. And so where I would push you is to say, you're probably going to have to have a conversation around some boundaries, but also taking care of your family first and then out of the abundance of what you have out of that,

Starting point is 00:03:23 if there is any in the season. And you guys choose then to help her, then that's one thing. But this idea of having to be forced into it is tough. I agree. I almost, if I were in your shoes, I believe I would try to remove, her from the conversation as much as possible because there's obviously some whatever around that.

Starting point is 00:03:44 And if I would just say, hey, there's an opportunity here for generosity. How do I feel about it? Do I want to do it? And do I not? And really, that's the bottom line. Do I want to do this? Do I not? And if you don't, that's fine because you want to be a cheerful giver. And if you can't do this with a cheerful heart and it doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel good, you shouldn't be giving under compulsion. And that's exactly what this is, is somebody's compelling you in trying to guilt you into something. And I think, like, removing all that aside, you can really just feel that and go, it just doesn't feel good to me. And I think that's enough to make your decision, at least for today. Right. Okay. I just don't know, like, where that line is between, like, honoring her. And I feel

Starting point is 00:04:27 like when I, I've had to put her on boundaries. She's, like, a get-rich, quick scheme person. Like, she gets sucked into that. And so, like, she has a lot of credit cards. card debt. And instead of just giving her money, I've been trying to pay off her credit cards, but I've been limiting how much I pay towards it, knowing that she's just going to re-rack it up, if that makes sense. That's right. And so it's like, so I do, I give her $150, $200 a month. And it's like, but that's really like my limit. And then it's like, and then I have this internal battle of, am I not honoring my mom? And yeah, I think you might have dropped out on us. I think I would No, I'm crying.

Starting point is 00:05:09 Oh, I'm sorry. Well, she makes you. You know, we make mistakes. People, and I always tell people, like, when I go to heaven, I don't, I want, I don't, like, is this something that's going to stop me and my, where I, I feel like where I end up, because she is so much told us, like, this is part of honoring your parents. What do you mean where you end up? Like, like, am I going to, am I really truly saved? Oh, girlfriend. Oh, Sue.

Starting point is 00:05:50 I'm sorry, Sue. I'm just going to speak freely here, Rachel, and I hope you do the same. No, ma'am. This is not going to, this is not going to, the way that I believe, I believe that salvation is pretty simple. And it's not something that we earn. It's a free gift that we accept. Right. And this feels like something you would be doing to earn your salvation.

Starting point is 00:06:16 And also, I mean, it's just truthfully what you believe in Jesus Christ. Do you believe you died on the ground? Right. It's all that simple stuff. Right. And I think that this is just, this guilt has got you in a chokehold. And it feels manipulative to me. And I think that I'm not saying your mom's a bad person. I'm sure she is.

Starting point is 00:06:33 But I think that you're just. She has a spiritual toxic relationship with God is the way that it's hands. And it's rubbing off on you. Yes. Go ahead, Rachel, because I know you got something to say. No, I mean, that's it. It is, it's, it's being used as a weapon and it's being used to corner you. And nothing in that is love. Nothing in that. No. And so, so you are not, you are not in the wrong, Sue. You're not. Because here's the deal, too. You keep, you know, you exchange irresponsibility and debt and get rich quick with something else, right? And if she was an alcoholic and she's like, you have to honor me and take care of me. And this is what I need to survive for the last few years of my. my life and just get like you're harming her and so by you continuing to give money sue actually is causing harm because her behavior is not changing and so there is something to be said again

Starting point is 00:07:26 I think about so much of how she has manipulation is a great word very toxic yeah and and it's really sad because I think she's a very broken person and out of that brokenness she has formed a really jacked up theology and has passed that on to her kids to you to even have you question those kind of things and I just hate I hate that I want to release that from you thank you so much so no I think I would do some studying if she keeps throwing that and you and even for your own conscious and spiritual work go go go and research that I mean honestly you can find the original Hebrew Greek you know what I mean like go back and understand the context of all of it for your own self because I want you to make decisions, not out of weakness, but out of a power of knowing

Starting point is 00:08:13 that this is an okay decision for me to make. And I'm not a bad person because of it, because you're not, Sue. You're not. And thank you guys so much. Absolutely. So, yeah, you good luck with you. And you may have to have some tough conversations and those boundary conversations are short and sweet, direct into the point, very kind. But there's going to probably be some boundaries set up because she's not in a good place and doesn't continue to show any level of behavior of healing and changing her patterns with money. If you're planning a summer trip, you're probably spending a lot of time getting everything ready because responsible people prepare for things that matter. And travel has a way of reminding

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Starting point is 00:10:01 make your will. Use the promo code Ramsey and save 20%. That's mamabearlegalforms.com. promo code Ramsey. Next step we have, is it Gianna, in Washington, D.C. Hi, welcome to the show. Hi Rachel. Thank you so much for taking my call. It's so nice to be here today. Oh, that's good to talk to you. We were just in Washington, D.C. last week with some of my kids, and it was so fun.

Starting point is 00:10:46 Such a great trip. So it's a great area. But yeah, how can we help today? So my question is, I'm 24 with about $22,000 left in federal student loan debt. I currently pay about 500 a month to pay these loans down. I invest 500 a month in a fidelity mutual fund towards a house. Additionally, I contribute 6% to my 401k that my employer matches. So my question is with the high cost of living in the area that I'm in, I feel behind on saving for a house. So should I keep saving for a home with the $500 a month

Starting point is 00:11:25 or focus on paying off my student loans more aggressively. All right. So I hear a couple of things going on. First off, I think what you want to do, I commend it, the fact that you want to save for a down payment, the fact that you want to be investing,

Starting point is 00:11:38 and the fact that you're maybe thinking about paying off these student loans are all really good goals to have. The only thing that I would do is streamline this a little bit so that you can actually accomplish something. And it's really hard to accomplish something when you're doing multiple things at a time.

Starting point is 00:11:54 All right? The way that I think about this, you've got 500 a month going to investments. You've got 6% whatever that number is going to 401K. And there's also, you know, 22,000, a big chunk of money to pay off. And I like to think of it, Gianna, like if I had a pitcher of water and I had like five or six different cups I needed to fill up, you can think of those debts. And you're just putting a little bit in each cup every month. It's going to take forever to fill up any of those cups. But if you take one month and, you know, focus in for a while and say, you know, I'm going to be.

Starting point is 00:12:24 going to put this whole picture in that one. You can actually fill up a glass and it feels great, right? So keep that in mind. And what I would suggest for you to do is let's pull back. Let's say for temporarily, just for a little bit, let's hold investing, temporarily for a little bit. Let's hold off on the down payment. And let's knock out these student loans. Because the longer we wait on those, the interest is just going to keep accruing. And if we have the full power of our income, how quickly could you knock out $22,000? Probably in two to three years, I would say. What do you earn?

Starting point is 00:13:03 About 90,000 a year. Is it just you? I'm going to say 14 months. I'm going to push you. I'm going to push you. If you stop all of that, because the 6% that you're putting in, I mean, that's around, yeah, $400 a month or so going there. So that plus the 500 plus what you're already doing,

Starting point is 00:13:24 I think you could, if you squeeze out some more in your budget and not go out to eat, don't shop, delete Amazon off your phone. I think you could get $1,500 a month. That's hard. I know, I know. But we just found you $1,000 a month, so like two years at the least. I think you could find at least $1,500. I think you could do that. And even if you worked an extra job at night for maybe two or three nights a week, right, the faster you get this done, the faster, let's say that $1,500 that was going to debt now is going to investing and a down payment.

Starting point is 00:13:54 And I would say depending on your, how urgent you are with the home, I probably would even pause investing to save up. It's what we call Baby Step 3B. So after you are out of debt, get an emergency fund in place. So have some cash set aside for that. And then I would spend probably two years saving up a down payment before I press play on investing. Because you're still young enough. I would. You're going to be fine.

Starting point is 00:14:20 And I think the more you can get that ball rolling and get into a home and put at least 5% down. down on a home. I think it's going to be a great step for you. And you'll have plenty of time for investing in retirement. I don't want you to wait too long, but in the next five years or so, paying off debt an emergency fund and a down payment, I think are great goals. And then just say by the time you're 28, 29, press play on investing and what you're going to be doing then, Gianni, I'm just following the baby steps as we're walking through this. And after you say for that down payment is 15% of your income into retirement. So it'll be a, a little more than what you're even investing now.

Starting point is 00:14:58 And you'll be fine by the time you get to 59. And a half retirement age. Gianna, it's just you, right? No kids, no hubby? No kids, no hubby. I have a boyfriend, but maybe engaged in the next little bit, two years, I would say. Which may change some of these numbers, too, right? In a sense of location job, if you buy a home, if you don't.

Starting point is 00:15:23 I mean, like, you know, life is how. happening around our money, right? And so we kind of use our money to shift what is happening in our life, which is a great thing. And, you know, the thing is, the other thing I want to throw at you is the idea that you're single. I mean, you have a boyfriend, but you don't have, you know, babies and things like that going on. Now is the time to pick up a side hustle. Now is the time to really, like if you want this to go quickly, pick up those extra hours, do that extra job. Because Rachel and I, if I did the math well enough here, you should be, we just found you around $1,000. If you pick up another side hustle where you're making another $1,000, well, gosh, there's,

Starting point is 00:16:03 there it is right there. It's so, so within your grasp. So I just want to remind you of that. And I want you, my personal homework for you would be go home, go on Ramsey Solutions.com and get on that investment calculator, Rachel, because when we have young cats calling in that are in their 20s and they feel like they're out of time, I'm like, please go play with the calculator so you can see. You have millions of dollars.

Starting point is 00:16:25 You will be fine. You will be fine. Yes. So please do that and do it with 15% of your income and do it from age 28 and you're going to be astounded by what you see. Yep. Absolutely. Well, good luck to you, Johnny.

Starting point is 00:16:36 I mean, yeah, I would say follow the Ramsey baby steps. Get out of debt first. Get an emergency fund. Start staying for a down payment and then start investing. And you can do all of that in the next four years or so. And you will set yourself up so well. All right. Let's go to Brendan in Orlando, Florida.

Starting point is 00:16:51 Hi, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you doing? Hi, we're doing good. How are you? I'm good. Good. How can we help? Okay, so my question is, I'm 22. I have a car that I owe about $25,000 on. And I want to, I'm thinking about getting rid of it to get a truck in cash so that I can start

Starting point is 00:17:12 doing side work because I do HVAC. I work for a company. And I want to start doing side jobs with the truck. Awesome. How much do you make a year? last year because I also have a side hustle I sell stuff online like e-commerce um last year I made around 75 oh good for you cool um what do you think you can sell the car for you owe 25 on it um on Kelly Blue Book it says that it's worth about what I owe 25 but I know if I take it to a dealership that

Starting point is 00:17:42 it'll I'll probably be upside down yeah do you have money saved to go get a truck yes I drive around $60,000 save. Oh my gosh. Good job. Well done, Brendan. What other debt do you have? That is it. That's it. No student loans. No credit card debt. What do you plan to spend? So, I mean, yeah, getting rid of the car's a no-brainer. You break even on it. Yep. No problem there. Out of the 60,000, what do you think you're going to spend on this truck in cash? Probably around 15. I love this for you. That's great. Yeah, that's a green light for us. for sure. And then you're doing a side hustle because that's going to leave you enough probably for an emergency fund, I think fully funded at that point. So I would just put the remainder of that money in just a high yield savings account. You can open up a account with Fairwin's Credit Union. They're awesome. And just stick that in high yield savings, forget about it. And then start getting to work and funding and then start retirement investing. Do you have any investments opened right now? Yes. About 40,000 of it is in a money market. And then about 10,000.

Starting point is 00:18:49 thousand of it. I know Dave would kill me if you heard this. Is it in single stock? Oh, single stock. Okay. I was going to say crypto. I was like, I can't, we can guess all the things. I didn't even kill you before. But, um, and then the wreck is honestly just cash just sitting around. Okay. Okay. Yeah, well, I, the homework I would give you is look into opening up a Roth IRA for yourself. And you can, and I do, I do have a Roth as well. Oh, you do. I just started it. It's around $2,200 in there. Good for you. Amazing. Yes. And I think you can, I think you can max

Starting point is 00:19:19 it out at 7,500 this year. Yeah, and if you get to the point, I'd be putting 15% in there. You're there. 100%. 15% off of every paycheck off the gross amount. Yes. And you're adulting, my friend. Brendan, well done. At 22, this is awesome. And the fact that you have $60,000 saved on the side for it. I mean, that's an easy call, Brendan. I know it. Yeah, your issues aren't issues. You're good. You're good to go. Thanks for calling. Let me tell you what I get asked all the time. When should I get term life insurance? How much do I need?

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Starting point is 00:21:22 We love hearing people's stories about how they are winning with money. And one of the ways that they are doing that so often that we see is using the every dollar app. And it's just, it's not just a budgeting app. It actually has a plan put in place for you and your specific numbers, where you are in the baby steps and really helps walk you through it. in a really amazing way. This one quote from a fan says this app allows me to budget, to keep my budget and goals organized. And so there is something about the organization, you guys, very, very important. She also said, I love the projection on when we're going to

Starting point is 00:22:15 be debt free and my estimated net worth. It gives me something to work towards and gives you a light at the end of the tunnel. So we'd love to see it. If you want to start every dollar, you can do it today for free in the app store or Google Play. All right, let's go to Sid in Chicago, Illinois. Hi, Sid. Welcome to the show. Hey, thank you so much for having me, guys. Yes, absolutely.

Starting point is 00:22:39 How can we help? So right now, my predicament, my name is Sid. I'm from Chicago, the city. And right now, like a week and a half ago, two weeks ago, I wanted to pay up all my debt. I had, like, 26% in, like, revolving credit cards, totaling, like, $20,000. So I want to do, like, a consolidation loan.

Starting point is 00:23:00 I was getting like stupid APR rate like 30%. And it seemed like the only option I had that I found out I had enough in my 401K was to do like a 401k loan at a 7.5% interest rate. And so I did that and I took out 18,800 and I did the loan at a 7.5% rate. And, you know, I cleared out pretty much all my debt. I only have one more credit card like totally $1,800 that I intend that I'm paying on my two months. I'm seeing if one, this is the best decision. And two, because, you know, of course, you know, you never want to go ahead and spend more on the credit cards. I'm seeing, you know,

Starting point is 00:23:41 was this a good strategy and what I can do like going forward? Currently, I have like $500 in my bank account. Yeah. Wow. Well, I'll say the avenue at which you took to pay off debt is you use debt to pay off debt. And I'll say that's pretty normal. We hear that a lot. And the problem is you're tackling the wrong issue. You're tackling it at a math side. You threw out so much interest rates and numbers and said the problem with your money is not interest rates. The problem with your money is you. And if you don't change you, you're going to be right back where you started. So you just took money, robbed Peter to pay Paul, basically. You know, you took money out of your own future,

Starting point is 00:24:31 borrowed from your own future to pay this off, and now you've got to go back and pay off the 401K loan. And so you moved money around, basically, is all you did. You didn't really fix the problem. And so that's why we always talk about personal finances, 80% behavior. It's only 20% had knowledge. If it was a math issue, nobody would be in debt.

Starting point is 00:24:51 We could figure that out. Right. The problem is that you have spent money that you don't have. And the great thing is, though, you are the problem, but you're also the solution, that you are the one that's going to get you out. Meaning your cutting expenses, working two extra jobs, like, you are the one that's going to be the most effective of getting yourself out of debt, not a debt consolidation company or a 401K. loan. Yeah, I think Rachel said it just right, because think about it for a second. And this has always bothered me about 401K loans because it's your money and they're charging you interest to take your own money. Like that's wild to me. That's crazy work, which is one reason why I would never suggest

Starting point is 00:25:39 it. But you're here now and hopefully you learn from that and just knowing, hey, once you borrow from this money, you've got a period of time to pay it back. But if something happens and you lose your job and you're no longer at that company, then that timeframe becomes accelerated. I believe you have a calendar year to get going on that. So you're in it now. And I agree with Rachel. You can't solve a problem while simultaneously creating it. And so we've just got to stop with the debt and we can't use debt to pay off debt. So the question comes, what are we doing next? And so what's your next plan? Well, I mean, right now, I mean, not going to lie, of course, you guys hit it on the head. I definitely rock Peter to pay Paul. But I will say it definitely felt good to know. Like I'm 30 just for you guys

Starting point is 00:26:24 out there. I am 30 years old. Pretty much it does feel good to have my 20s essentially paid off all the fun that I had. So it does feel good to see my credit score going up. It definitely beat out a consolidation loan. And I definitely did try the snowball method. I make like 70K a year, 65. And I also have a second job. I am an actor. So I get paid outside of that too and stuff. Um, so I guess now, I guess it's just like really behavioral changes. Like instead of like going to that movie or going out or going on that trip, you know, just kind of staying put and just looking for ways to just make that emergency fun. Um, I also did, um, check to see like, what if I did lose my job?

Starting point is 00:27:06 Um, I know that was like a big thing that might think my parents are telling me about. And like they said that I would be able to take that loan and just move it to whichever company that I would be at. So I don't really think that's, uh, an issue. and for those that's not always the case. But I want to challenge you on this, Sid, because I feel like you're, I'm 42, so I'm a little bit further down the road, not that much further. But here's what I want to challenge you on, because I feel like you're on the minutiae. I want to challenge you on the bigger arc of how you view money philosophy, right?

Starting point is 00:27:41 Because that's what you're going to need to decide. You're going to need to decide, am I a person who is a borrower? or am I a person who wants to be in charge of my money? And I think that's the overarching question that you have to decide. You mentioned a credit score. You mentioned feeling better about moot. So I think you just have to decide who do I want to be? Am I a person?

Starting point is 00:28:03 Do I, you know, we believe that the borrower is slave to the lender. Are you cool with that? Are you a person who's like, you know what? I don't mind debt. Sometimes I like the leverage, right? If you're that person, I would say decide who you're going to be. otherwise you're going to just vacillate all the time. And it's, you're going to be taking two steps forward, one step back.

Starting point is 00:28:21 And I will tell you one thing about Ramsey principles, the baby steps that we teach, you just got to do them. Like if you don't do them, they really don't work because it's a system. And the only way a system works is if you do the things in order, the way the system tells you how to do it. So that's what I would say around this. Yeah, I mean, I would just guarantee you said if you got yourself out of debt and you said, I'm not chasing debt anymore, which means the credit score doesn't matter because I'm going to be paying cash for everything. I'm not going into debt. I'm not going to borrow money, pay interest on something.

Starting point is 00:28:52 And I'm going to have... It was an awful experience. Totally. Yeah, so you feel it. You have a bad taste in your mouth. And when you have an emergency fund, you have cash sitting in the bank, not just $500 in your account, but $10, 15 grand sitting there. That's a three-month emergency fund.

Starting point is 00:29:08 And then you're investing 15% of your income into retirement, which is babysat four. And you're earning interest. on your money versus paying interest of being in debt, you start building wealth so quickly, so quickly. Like, you start to watch. Go ahead. Sorry. Sorry for talking over you.

Starting point is 00:29:26 I mean, it sounds like pretty much I'm kind of like it's like a two sides of one coin. Like one side I am paying off debt, but on the other side of the coin, like it seems like I have like an opportunity to actually take control of my money and do the right things. But now I only have one life left. like it's a video game if that makes sense. It does make sense. And I'll tell you this. We do not believe in,

Starting point is 00:29:50 Dave always says, it's living in a cave and collecting rent and only coming out on, you know, triple coupon Tuesday or whatever. Like we are known as sacrificing to get ahead, meaning getting yourself out of debt and all that. And then we also say you live like no one else, so then later you can live and give like no one else.

Starting point is 00:30:06 So I hope 40-year-old Sid is going on the trips to Europe that he wants to go to. Absolutely. And he's paying cash for it. I pray that. that you have a car that you've always wanted, and you're paying cash for it. I pray you have so much that you're able to find something

Starting point is 00:30:18 that you get to plug yourself into that's not about you, and you're generous, and you can live in abundance, and you give freely because you can. That's the whole point. These are things we want, and it's more about being on your terms and living within your means to do those things

Starting point is 00:30:35 versus leveraging and using the bank's money, because here's the deal. You may have some freedom and feeling good with the wind in your hair on a boat on a European coast using a bunch of credit cards. But the stress is coming. You're going to have to pay that trip off. And so it is a, you get to choose.

Starting point is 00:30:52 Am I going to be stressed to save and actually pay for things? Or I'm going to be stressed on the other side because I'm being borrowed. So I would much rather be the one in control of my money and maybe say no for the short term. But the long term said with this plan, you can enjoy your life. That's what it's all about. As your business grows, everything becomes more complex. There was a time when Ramsey Solutions had too many disconnected systems and not enough visibility across the business. We wasted too much time chasing information instead of making decisions.

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Starting point is 00:32:18 So you can ask it questions, just like when you're talking to a member of your team. And right now, you can try NetSuite Next. next for free. If your revenue is at least seven figures, go to netsuite.a.ai slash Ramsey. That's net suite.com. A.I. slash Ramsey. All right. We're going to head to Jackson, Mississippi, and we have Daniel on the line. Hi, Daniel. Welcome to the show. Hey, thank you for taking my call. I just wanted to add, I just wanted to say first that I have not always been the best at negotiating, purchasing vehicles from dealership. So I was hoping y'all might be to talk about that for a bit and give your best advice, so on and so forth, what to say,

Starting point is 00:33:15 what not to say, all that good stuff, if you don't mind. I love this question. Yeah, it's a good one. So what are you looking to buy? Probably going to be an SUV. I'm currently in a Camry. We're fixing to have our second child, and being that I'm six foot two, it's really, really dangerous.

Starting point is 00:33:32 We figured out when my head was hitting the ceiling that was not a good idea. You know, I don't need that in my life, so here we go. So you're getting the SUV. This is an upgrade. What do you guys plan to spend? And I'm assuming it's cash. It is. Probably in the neighborhood of 30 to 40.

Starting point is 00:33:51 Way to go. Hopefully no more than that. I love that for you. So I've done a couple of cars in cash. I know Rachel's probably done more than me. I'll tell you what I used to do. And then I'll tell you what I've learned to do, which works a lot better. So from what I understand, Rachel, when you go to a car dealership, they don't make money on a cash sale.

Starting point is 00:34:16 The money that they make is generally on a finance deal and they're getting a kickback from you financing the vehicle. So when you come on site and you let them know right off the bat that you're paying cash, a lot of times like any interest in that deal completely fizzles out. Because they're like, oh, I'm not going to make any money on this. Which, sorry, can I interject? which is different than an individual, right? So if you go and spend cash with an individual, they're probably needing that cash, like if you find someone on Facebook marketplace

Starting point is 00:34:44 and they're selling, and you're like, I got cash right here, we can make the deal today, you don't have to worry about financing and me not being approved for the law. They're like, oh, let's get it. So you're more on the upside on the cash perspective with an individual versus a dealer because you're exactly like they don't make dealerships.

Starting point is 00:35:01 Yeah, I made that mistake. Don't make that one. They don't care. No, and we used to teach that, I think like the old FPU videos day would be like, go in and tell them you got cash. They're going to be excited. It used to be like, ooh, and now they don't want that. They want you to have a loan so they can make some extra money.

Starting point is 00:35:19 So don't show all your cards first is what you're saying. Well, then, yeah, then that pulls up a good point. What do you think, Daniel, are you thinking about private sale or are you thinking about a dealership? It'll be a dealership. It's just easier for me doing it that way. Okay. That's great. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:36 Okay, so then I would go in and I would have my eye on whatever it is. I like to do a lot of research up front and already know like this is the vehicle, you know, this is the one I want, go in and try to get the best deal you can. And they're going to ask you, how do you want to pay for this? What are you thinking? And I usually say, you know, I just want to see where we land. Let's just see where we land. Yeah, I'm not sure.

Starting point is 00:35:56 We'll just, I'll figure that out. And then I don't tell them until the very end. And then from there, I'm usually trying to get money off of like some of the dealer fees, some of the things that they actually have control over. Those are the things I'm checking first. And yeah, that's it. And if I have seen similar models of the same car in other locations, I'll usually show them and say, well, this one is, you know,

Starting point is 00:36:19 two grand cheaper or whatever that is. And I think as well prepared as you can be with other dealerships that have similar options to kind of match that price, that's what I would do. Yeah. And as you're asking for the price and making sure you get the out-the-door price because what they quote you, maybe one thing. And then when you get to inside the little office,

Starting point is 00:36:39 you start signing some stuff. It looks different. The taxes come up, you know, the registration. I mean, like there's fees attached to it. And so I would just keep hammering the out-the-door price, the out-the-door price. This is what I can do. How can you help me?

Starting point is 00:36:53 You know, it's like you kind of just have to, you kind of have to keep at it. You almost have to annoy them a little bit and see if they'll budge. But sometimes dealers, they don't, they're not all super willing to always negotiate. And is it a used car? I'm assuming it's a used car.

Starting point is 00:37:11 Oh, absolutely. Yeah, no, I'm not going to buy any new car. I've been listening to you, to y'all and to your dad. It's way too long to do. Okay, just double checking because I'm also going to suggest, you know, make sure, obviously, that you have the car fax and they pull those and that you can look at that. And even, I mean, $40,000 is a lot of money. I would recommend bringing it to Christian Brothers if you have one.

Starting point is 00:37:32 in your area. Christian Brothers Automotive, they will go and give a once over on a vehicle that you're looking to buy just to verify that it really is in good condition. And just ask the dealership, say, hey, I'd like to have my mechanic look at this and you can do that. And I would suggest that with any used car just to make sure you feel good about the purchase. But absolutely, I'm excited for you. Yeah, that's great. And I think too, this is where I get in trouble. I get so emotional. So I'll like get, we bought our minivan after Charles was born. I would like sit in one. I did.

Starting point is 00:38:04 I was like, oh my gosh, Wednesday. And once I was like, shut up, Rachel. Don't tell one that you. We did the same thing with our house. We were looking at houses. I was like, oh my gosh, the baby. You know, and he's like, stop, stop. I already know where the Christmas tree goes.

Starting point is 00:38:16 You're the worst person to do this with. So don't be overly emotional. And when you're not overly emotional, you also are not attached to this one specific car on the lot that you have to have. Because if they don't give you the price that you feel like is fair or that you want to pay, you have to have the ability to walk away. I think that's one of the most like that's, but when people get wrapped up, it's cars or houses or whatever it is and like, it's the only one. This is the only one I can. And you're like, no, it's not. No, it's not. It's fun. Like, you get trapped at that point and you sometimes end up overpaying when you get so emotional about it. I always think of this episode of the Cosby show when they're going to buy the car and he dresses in like sweatpants and like an old t-shirt because he doesn't want the dealer to. know that he's a doctor and has money.

Starting point is 00:39:02 And then his buddy recognized him. He's like, Dr. Hoxtable. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. He's like, shh. Yeah, you don't want him to know. So don't tell him you have cash. Like, now's the time, you know, just wear your old sneakers.

Starting point is 00:39:13 That's right. See what they'll get it down. Like, I want to walk away with the car today. What can you do for me? Oh, it's so good. Well, good luck, Daniel. And with the second baby. That's exciting.

Starting point is 00:39:22 Yes. All right. Next up we have Landon in Michigan. Hi, Landon. Welcome to the show. Hey, I really do appreciate being on here today. Absolutely. How can we help? Yeah, so I'm 22 years old, married to my wife, also 22 years old.

Starting point is 00:39:37 I make about $55,000 a year working 60 hours a week. She makes about $46,000 a year. We have about $70,000 in debt as well. I might have an opportunity here to go back into a career that I was in before, starting off making about $80,000 a year and in four years, making the base pay about $150, and with overtime, 190 with good benefits, especially the baby on the way. And the problem is that I left this career while I was in Florida and we moved back to Michigan,

Starting point is 00:40:05 be close to the family. But with a baby on the way and not being able to go to college and art again to the courier that I'd more like, I don't think we're getting them more debt is the right choice. But the commute is an hour and 45 minutes away and my wife feels like I'm just going to hate the job again, even though it's more money. And so I guess my question is, is if you're in my position, would you go back to that career because of what it could do for our financial future or would you keep pursuing a different career path? Not for an hour and 45 minute commute each way. Is that, is it each way? Each way. We would plan

Starting point is 00:40:36 on moving eventually, but it wouldn't be right away. Do you have to stick? Like, I'm all for a little bit of uncomfortability to sacrifice to win. If you go back to this job, nothing says you have to stick with it for the long haul. I mean, could you do it for two years to pay off the debt? That's what I was trying to Or a year? That's what I was thinking. Like if I don't like it that much, you know, that we can only just quit, but I can't ever get the opportunity back

Starting point is 00:41:03 because there's not many of these opportunities here in Michigan. What is it? Working as a utility lineman for utility company. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How quickly do you get to $1.90? It would be in four years.

Starting point is 00:41:16 Oh. I'm probably going to be out because if you know you hate it, you add the, commute on it. It's not like you can just bust into this job, make $190. I know. Very quickly and use that money to pay off this debt in, you know, 18 months. When's the baby do? January. January. Is your wife going to go back to work after babies here? Like after maternity and everything? Yeah, she would. It's just, um, we would be cutting down a lot. Like, we only have

Starting point is 00:41:47 a couple extra hundred bucks a band of the month once the baby is here. Sure. There's no choice. It's hard. Yeah. It's hard because we can do. Closer. What's the $70,000 in debt? What does that consist of? That consists of two cars and then my student. How much are the cars? How much are the cars?

Starting point is 00:42:06 Cars is 35. Sell them. Oh, Landon. I'm out. Oh, I would choose a no commute making less with a crappy car. Yes, ma'am. All day. Then paying off that car.

Starting point is 00:42:18 No, you guys need to sell it and get some crappy cars. You may have to take a small loan for the difference, but I would do that all day. If you're waiting for the perfect interest rate before you buy a home or refinance, that moment may never come. That's why people should talk to Churchill mortgage, because rates move every day. And when rates drop, buyers flood the market, which means more competition and higher home prices. Smart buyers know they can't time the market. They move with a strategy. Buy the home you can afford now and refinance later if rates improve.

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Starting point is 00:43:28 This is a paid advertisement. The Churchill certified homebuyer program is available for qualifying borrowers and select loan types only. NMLSID 1591, NMLS ConsumerExS.org, Equal Housing Lender. 49, Mallory Lane, Suite 100, Brent Went into C, 37227. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw, and we are answering your questions about your life and your money. So give us a call at AAA 825-5-2-2-25. All right, let's head to New Orleans, and we have Mary on the line.

Starting point is 00:44:12 Hi, Mary. Welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for having me on. Absolutely. How can we help today? So this is what's going on. So recently, I found out that I am inheriting 100 ounces of Spock gold coins, which is a total value of $409,500. And so I'm 25. Wait, $409,000? Yeah. So almost half a million. Yeah. It's a lot. Yeah. I know. And so I'm 25.

Starting point is 00:44:46 and I'm an only child, and my parents are older. So my dad's 71, and my mom is 66, and they're both living. And so right now already I'm inheriting my house. That is $620,000, and then my mom's life insurance policy of $150,000. And so that is equal to, oh, and my dad sold his life insurance policy. So that is equal to $1,179,000. $500,000. And so this is a lot of information that, you know, that I'm learning.

Starting point is 00:45:23 And so right now we have no car notes, no students, like we have no debt whatsoever. And so I'm just trying to figure out how to go forward with this. Right now we have, like, for example, like our car, like we have no AC in our car and, like, some other things that we do around the house. And so I'm just trying to figure out, like a lot of people have been saying you should try to sell some of the gold, like maybe half of that amount. And yeah, and so I'm just trying to know how to approach this. For sure. So do you have the gold specifically? Is it in your possession or will you get it when your parents pass?

Starting point is 00:46:08 What I think my dad says, and I think I need clarification, I try to get clarification with him on this, is that he said, everything that I have is already yours. And so, like, the gold is in our safe right now. And I spoke to a financial advisor and he said I should put in like a safe deposit box or my dad should. And I spoke to my dad and he got really upset and he refuses to do that and wants to keep everything in his possession. So the gold is in his possession right now, not yours. Yes, but there's no legal writing on like it's not even in my parents will and like my mom doesn't even know that he has it oh my god but yes to answer yeah but to answer your yeah and so with answer your question it it is it isn't his possession okay so there's nothing for you to do today because you don't

Starting point is 00:47:06 have anything right you're it's not sitting in your home that you can go and start making financial moves it's it's his if you want to ask another clarifying question of hey dad if this is going to be mine and you're not going to use it. And what's mine is yours or whatever phrasing he said. And you want it today to, because what I would do is cash it out and start investing and, you know, using it to, you know, upgrade your life a little, which is not wrong. So that you can. And I still live at home. I hate to interrupt. I'm sorry. I still live at home with my mom and dad. And so just to put that out there. Okay. Gotcha. Yep. Okay, I think you guys just need, you need just a lot of more clarity around all of this,

Starting point is 00:47:55 because it's big numbers you're talking about. So first and foremost, I would encourage him to get a will and you guys can go to mama bearlegal forms.com. It's pretty easy to do. You just get a state-specific will for one in Louisiana. And you write down the ass, you know, you just walk through the process. But that way you at least, if anything hits, probate or when they pass, you have this document that helps get things through so much faster.

Starting point is 00:48:19 It is miserable to be digging through everything when they've passed if they don't have a will. That's my number one is will. Number two is I would be having a conversation with him just to say, okay, Dad, you've told me all of this. What do you want to do? Are you, is the expectation that this all comes into my possession when you die? That's great. Like, either way, it doesn't matter. That's fine.

Starting point is 00:48:42 I just need to know what's going on. you probably want to discuss this with mom and let her know what you guys have just to be on the same page like it's so interesting that he's keeping that from her right i know um yeah he he doesn't she thinks she has a spending problem but the thing is so i think it's a lot of financial um i don't know how i should word it i don't want to say abuse but like dysfunction it kind of pardon dysfunction yeah like he like for example he makes some the most to the money in the house, but he expects my mom to pay everything, like groceries, like he hasn't contribute to everything and only pays electricity and water. They've got something interesting going on, and if I were you, I'd probably try to steer clear of some of that because it has nothing to do with you. But I would ask for the things that pertain to me, can there be clarity around that? And can we have a family discussion around it?

Starting point is 00:49:41 Because I don't want any of this coming to light after that. fact in it coming out on me. I want, do you see what I'm saying? Whenever there's secrets, it can, it can end poorly and the wrong people can kind of have to bear the weight of that. And so if you guys can have those discussions in the light of day when everybody's above ground, that is fabulous. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:04 And I told my dad, I said, Dad, you need to talk to mom about this. This is not fair. And he's like, no, no. Like I need to protect this. He's very like, Dune's Day prayer type of guy. Are you the only sibling? Are you the only child?

Starting point is 00:50:21 Yes, I'm an only child. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, I think you can, you can say as much as you want, but at the end of the day, they're adults, they're going to do what you want, and you can't control that. So there's only, to Jade's point,

Starting point is 00:50:33 there's only so much effort you can put into that. And there may not be, but it'd be like, here's my requests. Dad, how can you help me out here? And then, Mary, beyond that, I just wonder for you and your financial future, right? I mean, and pretending like this doesn't exist. Don't depend on it.

Starting point is 00:50:49 But for you to be self-sufficient, for you to move out and be on your own. You said you're 24? 25. 25, yeah. For you to start living your life, right? And again, if or when this stuff comes to fruition, that's wonderful. And I think you can be really wise about that. I would use it to, sure, upgrade some things in life.

Starting point is 00:51:10 I would invest probably a bunch of it. I may give some of that. You know, like there's different things you can do when it happens. But between now and then, because you don't know when it's going to happen, is, yeah, start living your life and set yourself up well with really healthy spending habits, practicing saving and generosity. So we always talk about how money's a magnifying glass that makes you more of what you already are. And so if you create good money habits, Mary, and you have a level of security and contentment and a life that you've built yourself. and then this one fall of a million dollars comes, that's just going to magnify who you've become,

Starting point is 00:51:48 which is a very healthy person around money. So that's what you can control. I mean, I got to believe if she's 24, I got to believe the parents are 50s. Yes, but he said he may give it. He's like, what's mine is yours? So the question is, is he going to give it to her now or not? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:52:02 I don't know. So clarifying questions, but at the end of the day, your parents, like all of ours, is a, you know, have some little. Yeah. Lou Wu tendencies. But if you can just clarify some of it, I think, yes, that clarity is very, very important. Here's what nobody warns you about.

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Starting point is 00:54:24 My gosh. Well done. So thank you. If it wasn't up for you guys, I don't think I'd be, you know, where I'm today. So huge, huge thank you and then such an inspiration. Absolutely. My question today is I am navigating a divorce. I have a one and three-year-old.

Starting point is 00:54:43 And I am running out of money. I've been a stay-at-home mom for four years, and I've lost everything. So with, you know, working prior to getting married, I've had a, like, savings of 70,000, and it's dwindled down to 50 in lawyers' fees. The custody arrangement and child support is currently what we're, you know, litigating. I just don't know if it's worth fighting for. I'm scared. I don't know if it's worth getting into that for. I just don't know if I could sleep that night knowing I didn't fight for my two days. Oh, Corny. I'm so sorry. Is he a good guy

Starting point is 00:55:35 and it just didn't work out or is he somebody that you really do feel like you need custody, full custody? What's the nature of the battle? is a very successful entrepreneur here in town. And so when we were together, he was just a workaholic. I would say he's an okay. I mean, as far as like hands-on, he, you know, he believed in traditional roles and I was just saying, oh, mom. But I left because it became abusive.

Starting point is 00:56:07 And unfortunately, the court system, as long as he wasn't abusive to the kids, He is guaranteed 50% custody. And so that's kind of where I'm at. The only control he has over me is the financial litigation over this. And he is draining me on purpose, just not complying with the discovery process that my attorneys are asking and just delaying court proceedings. I'm on month nine of our separation and our divorce. and I have nothing.

Starting point is 00:56:45 So I don't know if it's just subtle. Which is not a 50%. Yeah. My question is, why are they not pushing harder on him to get what they need so that it's not dragging out? Because you said he's doing this on purpose. I mean, there's a point that it starts to become, he's not obeying the courts, right, when things are said and done. So what I'm curious what your lawyers are saying. Right.

Starting point is 00:57:10 And they see it all the time. Unfortunately, it's not unique, especially with high-level business people and people in power with money. They asked his team and him ask for extensions and just basically my attorney has to file motion over motion to get in front of the judge to mediate. But I'm sure a lot of people know this is such a lengthy process and I'm already $50,000 in. Are you not entitled to what's the divorce law? in Nevada. Are you entitled to half of his money? I signed a pre-up. He is 15 years older than me. We had a baby out of what a locker. We weren't in marriage yet. And so I signed my life away to ensure that our family stayed together. Okay. And he comes from the Middle Eastern background. So

Starting point is 00:58:02 quitting my job and staying home to raise kids was very important. I gotcha. Okay. Okay. Tell me the numbers again. I just want to make sure I heard correct. You said you started with 70,000 and what do you have left? 20. 20. Okay. I'm glad I clarified that. And what are you doing for work?

Starting point is 00:58:20 You said you've been going through this for nine months. In that nine months, what's your life looked like work-wise? Yeah. I picked up, within the nine months, I was just doing side gigs, you know, part-time with a catering company friend and then like DoorDash and Uber Eats to help pay. some of these litigation fees and now I luckily was able to get a full-time job with a home builder here in Vegas. How much will you be making? It's sales base, but I get a base pay of 60 and can earn upwards to 150. Oh, fabulous. Good, Courtney. That's amazing. And what happens to the kids during the day?

Starting point is 00:59:03 So when they're in my, right now we have a temporary custody order. He does have 50%. Okay. And when they're with me. I'm luckily enough to have my parents help watch them. Okay. I was going to ask about family. I just want to make sure you have some people in your corner that you're getting, if nothing else, emotional support from. Absolutely. I'm very blessed. Good, good. Well, you called in with two moms. And, girl, I'd fight like hell for my kids. For their health. If it was a health situation, I'm doing anything for my kids. If it's a situation, of, yeah, anything around, if you feel like they're in danger in any level, I'm fighting.

Starting point is 00:59:46 So that's what I would be doing. And we can worry about the money on the other end of it. But I also will say this with the asterisk. Because of his, gosh, power, whatever it all is, I don't want you dragging, for your sake to, dragging this on for three years. And for the kids' sake. And for the kids' sake, right?

Starting point is 01:00:13 And not even from the money side, but just for you, right? And moving on with your life and starting to rebuild Courtney, right? And who you're going to be in this next chapter of your life. So, yeah, so I don't know if there's a time limit. I don't know if you've had anyone that's walked through something like this that you're close with. But you know what I'm saying? So I say all of that, like my mom heart is just like I am going to be kicking down doors. But then on the other end, I'm like, but I also want to be realistic about this. Does that

Starting point is 01:00:45 make sense? Yeah. And I just want to ask, where'd your lawyer come from? Was this somebody highly recommended? Was this just somebody you found on Google? How did you find your lawyer? It was a recommended lawyer, extremely successful lawyer, wonderful, wonderful, not reviews, but just people in my life that know him. That means that comes with a pricey, you know, price tag for sure. Yeah. But he's a very extremely reputable lawyer here in town. Okay. And is he mean?

Starting point is 01:01:13 Because I'm like, I feel like you need somebody who is going to go hard. Yeah. He's very hard. Okay. You know, but at the end of the day, I just feel like sometimes with these lawyers, it's a business to them. I mean, every email I send is $400. Of course.

Starting point is 01:01:27 His phone call is 600. So, you know, he's great in that aspect. And he's really focusing because I won't get anything, right? As far as assets, division of property, nothing. child support. Exactly. So you have 18 years of child support that this is worth fighting for because, you know, he's a multi-millionaire. And, you know, if it can change, I currently get $1,000 a month from him.

Starting point is 01:01:52 And if I can get up, you know, towards $6 to $8,000 a month. See, this is so crazy. Wow. This is so crazy. I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am. Thank you. I really am.

Starting point is 01:02:05 Yeah, I'd be going to the mat on. this, I'd go as long as you can. And I agree with Rachel. I think there's probably, and I think that'll be revealed to you if it comes to that point. I pray it doesn't. I like to think that who people are truly shows itself. And that would be my prayer is that who this guy is shown to the judges and shown to all who are involved. He's clearly making this difficult. And to me, that is such a red flag when somebody is intentionally trying to make things difficult on an ex and on the children. Like is that really the person that the children should be with, that they're intentionally causing a dissension.

Starting point is 01:02:47 But I hate that this is happening to you. Yeah. But Courtney, you're amazing. You're an amazing mom. You took an extremely brave, vulnerable, scary step to go out on your own and knowing that you only had so much and you're going to be fighting your way. And let me tell you, your kids. That's the example that's set in front of them is you.

Starting point is 01:03:08 And they are, they're lucky to have you. So girl, keep fighting. Call us back if you need us. And man, yeah, again, we're so, so sorry. You're getting ready to hit the road this summer. You want to feel confident. Your car is ready to go. But when you don't fully understand what's going on under the hood,

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Starting point is 01:06:01 All right, let's head to Rebecca in Sioux Falls. Hi, Rebecca. Welcome to the show. Hi, guys. So we bring in right around 32,000 a year. We rent Our rent just went up from $850 to $1,250 a month I bring in roughly about $1,500 a month

Starting point is 01:06:30 gross before with Spark, doing Walmart Spark and I also have a, I'm an artist and I bring in roughly on the low end 400 $200 a month, high-end $600. We just barely are getting by. Is that $2,000 total, Rebecca? Your art, it was the $400 and the $1,500 was your Spark Walmart delivery?

Starting point is 01:07:00 Yep. Okay, so $2,000. What's your husband do? What's your husband do? He's in construction. So on a good week, if he is allowed to work overtime, he can bring in, like, his checks will usually be about 1,400. That's with the overtime. If not, it's maybe $1,100 every two weeks. How long has he been doing that? He's been with the company only about a year.

Starting point is 01:07:28 We moved up to South Dakota roughly two and a half years ago from Missouri because God told us to move up here. And it just, it's great. There's no state taxes up here. But like, Like everywhere else in the country, rent is just outrageous. No, I'm going to go ahead and say rent's not the problem here. 850 is fabulous rent. And honestly, no, that's fine. But it went up to 1250. Right, but 1250 is fabulous rent.

Starting point is 01:08:01 1250 is not bad. I think the issue is, I'm not going to say, I think I know the issue is it's an income issue. $32,000, $32,000 for two adults working. it's going to be almost impossible to survive on that. And that's what you're feeling. That's the weight. It's kind of like the walls are closing in on you, I think. And you have every right to feel that way.

Starting point is 01:08:25 So what Rachel and I are going to try to do is help you and hopefully inspire you guys to see what more can you do to bring in a stable income? Because to your point, it's very tough to get ahead when you don't have margin. And also to your point, there's variable expenses that have the ability to go up. up and you can't control that. And so the only part that you can control is your contribution. And so let's talk about that a little bit. You said you're an artist and you said you're doing Walmart Spark. If we could snap our fingers right now and it's three years from now or five years from now and you're doing exactly what it is that you love, what would that be? That would be my art. Which is what? watercolor painting and I've started like a greeting card business and I fell my cards like in various

Starting point is 01:09:14 little gift shops and cafes and I love to I would love to like get into something bigger maybe maybe not like hallmark but like all my cards are like Christian focused I put scripture on them and like people love them and and the other thing is I paint each one separately So you're never going to get like the exact same card twice in a row. So you're an artist, you're artistic, you love people, you like encouraging. I'm hearing all these things that you love to do. What I would love for you is to continue doing that thing that gives you a lot of joy. But in the meantime, I also want to find a way to use those same skill sets in a full-time job

Starting point is 01:09:59 that's actually, that's not a side hustle, but a full-time money-paying regularly job. And so we're going to give you find the work you're wired to do because those jobs exist out there. I think you're just narrowing your focus to I can only paint cards of watercolors. How old are you, Rebecca? How old are you guys? I'm 49 and he's 48. Do you guys have kids? I have a child from a previous marriage that wants nothing to do with me. Okay.

Starting point is 01:10:30 So I pay like child support every month and that's like up on the interaction. than I get. Okay. So, yeah, so your second, kind of your second chapter in life. Yeah. What's it going to be? And I, and I, and I, and I, and I feel it's just like, you know, we're both getting up to 50. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:50 We have no, like, we don't have any, um, retirement saved up other than, like, what she possible. Okay, Rebecca, I'm going to say something. I think you just need to go get a job. A J-O-B. I think you need to go work at a, recital. I'd be a receptionist at a dentist office there in Sioux Falls. I think you need to go work a receptionist at a hotel.

Starting point is 01:11:13 You guys are 50. Yeah, time's chicken. You don't have time. You know, and I know you love the art stuff and do it on the side because I would love for something like that to take off. And in the meantime, obviously, be dreaming about what that full-time career could be that you're love. Exactly what Jay was saying. But right now, you know, you're not too 22-year-olds, you know, trying to figure it out. And I'll be honest.

Starting point is 01:11:32 I thought you were at first, but your voice sounds young. And the way you were talking, I was like, oh, these cats, they're in their 30s. But when I hear that you're 49 and in the 50s, Rachel is exactly right. And husband, same thing. Let's get on it, dude. You know what I mean? I mean, and I know, I know maybe you've tried. I'm not sure.

Starting point is 01:11:51 But I do want you guys. I want you in careers. You know, we just talked to a single mom who's going through a divorce last segment. And she just found a job making 60 commission sales. Yeah. I don't know what you can plug into, but we got to kind of get this gravy train moving. What do you attribute this to? I don't try to hold on.

Starting point is 01:12:14 I don't try to hold on to this and make this as an excuse. So don't take it that way. Okay. But I am on the spectrum. And so being in like a really busy place with a lot of people that shuts me down. Okay. And so that's why I like work from home. Work from home, I wonder.

Starting point is 01:12:33 customer service, call service. I'm going to tell you, let me tell you about this because this is not the be all end all, but it is something that exists out there. When I was first getting started in my career, this is kind of a side hustle, but it's a way to start getting you some experience. There's a website. It's called Arise, A-R-I-S-E, and you can go on there, and it's all customer service jobs. All you need is a computer and a little phone headset, and you can work for AAA, you can work

Starting point is 01:12:59 for Home Depot, you can work for an electric company, and it's, you, you, you, you, you You can make, you know, $20 an hour just doing that and you can pick your hours. And so start with something like that where at least we're getting our hours up. And that's something you can do alongside all the other things you're doing. So let's start stacking these options together and create. Because what I want from both of you, I want you both making $30,000. Let's start there. I make $30, you make $30.

Starting point is 01:13:26 Now we make $60. And then we go, I make $40, you make $40. Now we make $80. And let's stairstep these goals. but I really think you and your husband need to write it out. I mean, if both of you did that, if you did that and you did 20 hours a week, 40 hours a week, you'd be bringing him around 36,000. Yes.

Starting point is 01:13:42 And if he did it too, Bada-Bu-Bu-da-boom. We got 70 grand coming in, Rebecca. Promise me you'll go on that side. That's wild. Do you agree with me, Rebecca? That's wild. You just went from 32 you both work in full-time to 70. We had savings saved up to like 10 grand.

Starting point is 01:14:00 but last year I was in early bad. I do. I'm just saying like we did have savings saved up. Last year I was in a really bad car accident, hit a deer. Okay. Yeah. I hear you. I totally hear you.

Starting point is 01:14:14 And I want to be respectful for sure. But I also, you called and we want to give you tough love because we got about 10 seconds. So I just want to tell you, you can do better than 10 grand, Rebecca. You really can't. You guys got to just churn out some hours for two or three years. be tired at the end of the day. Real tired. But you guys got this.

Starting point is 01:14:35 I think that's your way out. And you guys get to choose if you want to do it or not. And life is hard. For sure, we all have different challenges and things that we face. But you got this, Rebecca. You guys can do this. Hey guys, it's Rachel Cruz. If you're working the baby steps,

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Starting point is 01:15:39 financial goal. And your monthly cost isn't based on your medical history or where you live. Y'all, a lot of families find CHM gives them more room in the budget. That's why so many members say they're better with CHM. And right now, new members can receive a 50% credit towards their first month of membership. Go to CHministries.org slash budget and use promo code Ramsey. That's CHministries.org slash budget and promo code Ramsey. Up next we have Brianna or Brianna maybe from Austin. Okay, tell me how you you pronounce your name because I don't want to get it wrong the whole call. You're good. It's Brianna.

Starting point is 01:16:32 Brianna, perfect. Thanks for calling in. How can we help? So me and my husband have been trying to have a baby the last two years, but we discovered that we have to do IUI if we're going to do it. We have about 90,000 in consumer debt. The majority of that is student loans. And we just kind of want to see if we're on the right timeline to start, store. mode. How do you pay for the IUI? So we want to cash flow it like kind of in the middle of the debt payoff. So our plan was to pay off all of our credit cards and our car loan, positive debt snowball, cash flow the IUI each month, which is about 2,500 per cycle. Okay. And then once that's successful, start the student loan payments because I woke

Starting point is 01:17:28 graduate on the first week of September. So my payments won't officially start until six months after. Okay. How much was, when you said pay off the credit cards in the car first, what is, what are those totals? We have one credit card, which is about 14,000. Our car loan is 6,100. And then we have one more credit card. That's about 1,000. Was that included in the 90,000 or is that additional? That's included in the 90s. Included. Okay, gotcha. Okay. And why did you, what caused you to choose those three kind of arbitrarily? Like, what's the thought behind that? Just because the minimum payments are the highest, with the interest rate and stuff, and my school payments aren't mandatory yet. Right now, I've just been making payments. Are you still

Starting point is 01:18:16 actively taking student loans? No. Okay. Okay. And when do you finish again? Tell us again, when you're done? First week of September. Okay. I love the fact that you're going to cash flow IUI. I think that that's fabulous. And you guys are already married, right? Just making sure. Yeah. Okay. I don't have a problem with this plan.

Starting point is 01:18:40 I think the moment that you are pregnant is the moment that you push pause on your debt payoff. The moment that you go to the doctor and they're like, yeah, it's positive. That's the moment that you can kind of push pause and start stacking up a bunch of money for stork mode. And that money, I mean, hopefully everything is healthy and everything goes well. And then you'll have this big pile of money that's there after the baby's born and everybody goes home healthy that you can put towards this debt. How much margin do you guys have every month to work with? About 3,000. My husband's a firefighter.

Starting point is 01:19:17 So some months he gets six months out of the year, he gets three checks. And then six months out of the year, he gets two checks one month. Okay. And when do you guys want to start this? Our credit cards and car loan should all be paid off by January with our timeline. Okay, gotcha. And then you would just use that $3,000 of margin to cash flow and maybe throw $500 at the debt as you're going? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:43 Okay. And why are y'all waiting until January? I'm just curious. You just want to get some debt out? Is that a priority before you start? So when I give birth, I want to stay at home. And so then we'll be living off of one income. and I just don't think we can afford all of the loan,

Starting point is 01:19:59 the credit card payments and student loans and a car loan wall on one income. That's good. Have you budgeted it out, detailed? Yeah, we have every dollar. We have an every dollar budget. Okay, but the future, I mean, have you done a detailed budget of what you think the future will look like on the one paycheck? The one salary? I've been kind of sorting that out today.

Starting point is 01:20:21 This is just kind of our plan that we've been working out this week. I haven't taken an official look at it, but we should be able to live just fine, food, water, shelter, transportation, and then have some leftover. What's your degree in? Zoology. Zoology? Yeah. Okay. Did you have a plan of what you wanted to do?

Starting point is 01:20:42 Did you, when you started school? Yeah, I wanted to be a zookeeper, and that's what I'm doing right now. I've coming up on one year. Okay. Okay. Gotcha. Yeah, my advice on this would be to run out the budget and really look at it and make sure that detail for detail, you actually know what the money is going to be. Because I will say, Rachel, there is something to be said about having the right amount of margin. Because if you are staying home with kids, you don't want to just be home in the house with kids.

Starting point is 01:21:13 You want to be able to go and take them to the zoo or go and do, you know, fun things. So I would suggest doing that. And I'll just throw out here, you know, the way that we teach debt is to do the debt snowball method. We find that for people who really want to complete paying off all of their debt, the snowball method is better, which is you listing them smallest to largest by balance and then paying minimum payments on everything, but putting that extra margin in your case, $3,000 to the smallest debt. You may find that if it's a list of, you know, I'm sure these student loans are broken up into smaller pieces. So you may find that if it's a list of seven or eight debts,

Starting point is 01:21:48 you can knock out half of them and that feels really great and you like the feeling of that momentum. I also wanted to ask, how old are you guys? He just turned 24 a couple days ago and I'm 23. Okay. Yeah. And let me just also say this. I'm just going to say this. I'm not saying it's not your choice because it totally is and I love babies.

Starting point is 01:22:08 It's never going to be easier to pay off debt than it is today. Yeah. So let me just throw that out there. Once little butts come into the situation, it gets different. Right. So let me just throw that out there. If we were to just wait and just pay off everything, I think we would be done in two years or less. The only thing my husband's not on course with starting the student loans because we're not required due for six months. So he's wanted to knock out all the credit card and the car loan.

Starting point is 01:22:41 So I haven't been able to get him on board with that because several of the student loans are under $3,000. You may not be required to, but I would like to. look and see if they're subsidized or unsubsidized because if they're unsubsidized. Yeah, they're subsidized. Okay. But even still, what an opportunity? It's almost like when we had the pause, right? There was no interest accruing. So view that as this is an opportunity to pay off our debt without interest versus, well, we don't have to touch them, so let's not touch them. I would. Yeah. Yeah. And I, and just because of your age, and again, everyone's value, you know, I don't want to ever say to someone like, don't have babies by any means.

Starting point is 01:23:18 because this may be y'all's choice. But I would be curious because you just, and a part of me is like, oh, man, you just finished your degree. Get in there. And I don't know if, like, you get a raise with this degree or not or if you would have had this job regardless of the degree. But a part of me is like, if I'm paying off these student loans about something I just got, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:23:36 There's like a mental game there for me that I think there would be like an extra push to be like, you know what? I'm going to work my butt off for another nine months extra than what I was planning. And I say that partly because. you're still young. And I would just get, man, the freedom there of not having to feel pressure to work. If you do get pregnant, and since it is a situation that you're having to do this how you want to be extra protective, right? That cautiousness in the pregnancy.

Starting point is 01:24:03 I'm going to say when it happens on if. I pray when it happens for you. I don't know. Just some thoughts to kick around. But I think also you guys paying off the loans that you talked about paying off and then cash flowing it, which I so appreciate. and then having still that momentum after it works to knock out as much as you can. Yes, ma'am. Before baby comes, it will only help you from the math perspective.

Starting point is 01:24:28 So that's always helpful. But yeah, that's what's hard. Is money, like debt specifically, that's why we always said the borrower slaves in the when you're in debt, it just limits your choices. It creates extra hurdles in your life. You have to then say, can I stay home? I want to be a stay-at-home mom. Do we have the ability to?

Starting point is 01:24:46 We have these pay. Like, right? It just puts you in this like bondage cycle that you're not, you don't have autonomy. You're not the owner of your life at that point. All these banks and student loans are kind of directing that. And that's part of what sucks about debt. I'm like, it is what it is. You can get your credit card airline points, all you people, but this girl's got, what, $14,000 credit card debt. It didn't help her, like didn't help them. It's causing her to have to wait. Yes, yes. Like all of it. I'm like, it's just, there is such wisdom, you guys, in this debt-free living that you you own your choices in your life and it's a beautiful and you sleep good at night,

Starting point is 01:25:22 you know, knowing that. Yeah, and the sooner that you start that lifestyle, just the better off you are. I mean, when people call in here and they were blessed that their parents understood their babysat and they start their life off, no debt. I mean, they're just on such a smooth path going forward. And at 23, they really have the ability to create that for themselves here in the next 18 to 24 months. That's right. Absolutely.

Starting point is 01:25:44 Yeah, there's a truth in changing your feelings. family tree. So you parents out there with young kids, as you're working this, your kids are seeing this and you're setting them up for a better life, not just from a numbers perspective, but a behavioral perspective as well. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show and the Fair Ones Credit Union Studio. I am Rachel Cruz here with Jade Warshaw, and we are answering your questions about life and money. So give us a call at AAA-8-25-2-2-25. Right now, the phone lines are packed. But give us a call, and maybe we can get you in. Maybe this show, we're later this week. Jay to think we're hosting against gather.

Starting point is 01:26:39 So we'll be around, people. We'll be around. All right, let's go to Charlie in Omaha. Hi, Charlie. Welcome to the show. Hey, thank you. Absolutely. Thanks for calling in.

Starting point is 01:26:52 Yeah, I just, over the last few years, I've been building a relationship with the neighbors, and they're kind of living like normal people, broke, basically. And I'm just wondering if you guys got any tips

Starting point is 01:27:06 on how to like introduce them to Ramsey Solution universe and the baby steps without overstepping boundaries, I guess. How do you know that they're broke? Do they tell you? Um, they kind of tell me, yeah. And then, uh, well, yeah, they basically tell me. So you guys are talking about money, like in some of your just like everyday conversations hanging out and they'll talk about that they're stressed or.

Starting point is 01:27:34 Yeah, it seems to come up that they're stress. fairly often and then their 11-year-old actually slipped up and basically said he helps pay for grocery sometimes to me the other day. Are they saying it like when they're saying it, they're like asking you for help or they're just shooting the breeze and just mentioning things? I'm trying to just shoot in the breeze and mentioning things. So that's the thing. I don't even know if they want help.

Starting point is 01:28:02 Got you. Well, if y'all are that casual conversation, I think if, I mean, I know there's like parenting, you know, experts that I love or whatever. And when a friend's just talking about that, I'm like, oh, gosh, well, have you listened to, you know, so-and-so podcast? Because it's so good. It's not threatening. It's like I'm excited about it because I love it and I want them to know. So it's not like you're judging them or anything, but I just wonder if you threw it out.

Starting point is 01:28:26 Like, oh, my gosh, well, have you listened to the Ramsey show? Or have you ever read any of, you know, Jade Warsha, Rachel Cruz or Dave Ramsey's books? Like, you know, are you familiar with them? I would just be curious what they would say. super light. Like don't go, not even going into details. Just like, oh man, yeah. Just like that. Okay. Yeah, just take it, yeah, super light. And I guess, uh, yeah, super light. And I say that because a couple conversations, like just throw it out there maybe the next couple times and then. No, no, no, keep it, keep it super light. And I'm saying this because, and you know who you are. I'm looking

Starting point is 01:29:01 in the camera. Our people, sometimes we go very strong. Yes. the paint. And it can be off-putting. And it's, we're doing it because we're excited and we really love this thing and we feel like we have the winning lottery number, right? Like we, we want to share it. But sometimes being too heavy-handed can make people be like, who's this guy? Don't be weird. Don't be weird, Charlie. So just do exactly what Rachel said. Exactly. Because I don't think it can be better than that. And then let them. Yeah, talk about it. And then if you've done some stuff and like, oh yeah, I think I have like, oh my gosh, I love it because, you know, I've paid off debt and I don't know if you have some story to share just a little something and you're saying it

Starting point is 01:29:39 because it's um because it's worked for you know I I would say the same thing with parenting of like oh my gosh I finally learned like we have X Y and Z because so and so said it and it was so helpful and I don't know if that's helpful for you in your situation but you know what I mean it's it's very breezy yeah breezy and when you say something that's kind of in line with what they're going through that you've experienced I think also kind of oh okay we now we're talking for real the empathy. Yeah, so I like that. I love that you're thinking about them in that way, too. That's special. Yeah, I've tried to do it light a little bit over probably the last year or so. And so is there Oh, so you already did it. A little, I mean, is there a little bit, yeah, is there ever a time where maybe it requires a little bit more of a shove? Tell us what you did. Tell us what you did first. So we know. He said a shove.

Starting point is 01:30:31 well i mean uh they just they bring it up and so i'm like well have you yeah i mean have you checked out you know dave ramsie helped me you know you know you guys you guys need dave ramsie in your life for real and uh just kind of throwing out what they say oh they they kind of shrug it off and who's that i go a guy who helped me get out of debt and then i don't think they ever looked him up or looked up you guys or or i think you've done your part. You've done your part then. You've been breezy. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think that they're interested in any, you know what I mean? Like, there was no proactiveness. Yeah. You can't make somebody interested in this kind of. You can't make the hard part. Make people change.

Starting point is 01:31:20 Yeah. Yeah. Because you want it for them, not just so that they're like, so that they listen to Ramsey. That's not the point, but the point is you want them to be helped. You know, you want them to have a plan and be in control of their money. And I think that's a beautiful desire, right? Because you see someone that's hurting and you're like, oh my gosh, I feel like we have the prescription. We can help you. But it doesn't seem like, yeah, it seems like you've been breezy about it and they haven't really picked up on it. So I probably wouldn't push. No, I don't think there's a shove. Yeah, unless they ask, if they start asking, they have opened that door and you can run right through it. That's true. But I don't think they're asking. Yeah. Yeah. They just kind of been,

Starting point is 01:31:57 Yeah, they just bring it up almost every time I see them, really, but they don't ever ask. And also, I will throw this out there, but you have, this is you discerning this. It also depends on your relationship and your personality, because if you, if on a scale from one to ten, you're like an eight in friendship, then I do think that there's the time where you can be like, now hold on a second, I told you about Dave Ramsey and you're still asking me about, right? That's my personality. I would have, you know.

Starting point is 01:32:27 With good friends. With good friends. If you're an eight or nine on that scale, 100%. I'd be like, now how many times are you going to tell me about this? Because I've already told you, right? But if you're like a two or three on the scale, I think you just let sleeping dogs lie. Yeah, it's kind of that earning the right to be heard kind of thing.

Starting point is 01:32:45 But as you build relationship with them and if you do get closer in friendship, because you guys get along and you have a lot in common, then to Jade's point, that's right. It's true. If it's like one of your best friends is she, I'm like, girl, stop complaining. You got to do something about it. Yeah, what's going on? I have a feeling, though, you guys are just out washing the cars and you just, you know, speak to each other across the driveway or whatever. Yeah, that's kind of it. Yeah. So, yeah. But I appreciate the information and a little bit of help here. For sure. Well, Charlie, I appreciate your, yeah, just your desire to even call and be concerned, right? Because, I mean, that's a real thing.

Starting point is 01:33:25 Because here's a thing. And again, I look into the camera because there's folks that watch the show every day and still don't do the things that we're telling them. That's right. So it's very hard. The job we have is very hard to get people to commit to a process, especially a process that's going to cause you maybe a little discomfort, maybe to embrace some ideas that are new for you, maybe to embrace a new philosophy with your money, maybe to do something that you can't say today what the exact outcome is going to be. You just have to try. trust a process. And we're telling you, hey, just do it. Just trust it. We know that it works. So because we know the outcome is when you walk these baby steps, when you do the things that we're teaching, people go on. They don't just pay off their debt. Their relationships are better. They have more peace. And yeah, they build wealth. And so, I mean, what can you say? It's the byproduct. I know. But it is amazing. When you get one part of your life under control, and we see this all the time, people's, to your point, relationships start to be better. You start to be

Starting point is 01:34:24 more intentional about that. People's health changes. People lose weight. I mean, genuinely. Like, it is wild the things that happen when you become an intentional person and your money, maybe the springboard for you when it comes to this stuff. So it is, yeah, it's important. But yeah, thanks again, Charlie for calling. That helped. Hey, George Camel here. We often talk about how being normal sucks when it comes to your money. But guess what? Normal isn't so great when it comes to your job either. Normal is staying in a job you hate, dreading Mondays, and working for people you don't even like. Sound familiar? Well, the good news is you can break free from normal because Ramsey Solutions is hiring, and we refuse to settle for the ordinary.

Starting point is 01:35:25 In fact, we are anything but normal and we are proud of it. And right now, we're hiring for technology, sales, marketing, writing, copy editing, and creative roles. So head over to ramsysolutions.com slash careers and apply today. The Ramsey Show question of the day is brought to you by Y-R-FI. If you keep putting off dealing with your private student loans, now is the time. Y-R-R-R-F-I-R-F-R-E-R-E-F-R-E-R-E-F-Y-R-E-R-E-F-Y. May not be available in all states. All righty. Today's question comes from Claire in South Dakota. She says, my husband and I are 27 and started our family earlier than most of our friends.

Starting point is 01:36:26 So we were on the receiving end of wedding and baby gifts several years ago. Now our social circle is reaching those milestones and we're struggling with what is reasonable financially. We're debt-free and genuinely want to be generous. However, we have financial goals and feel like we're constantly blowing our budget. Is there a percentage of income or a sinking fund amount you recommend for gifts and celebrations? How do we scale back spending without feeling?

Starting point is 01:36:56 selfish. Okay, not going to lie, I actually thought this was going in a different direction. I thought you were going to say, you know, we were on the receiving end, but now we're getting out of debt, and it's hard to budget for these. But you're debt free. And part of, I do want to say, just for anybody who's listening, and it's good for us to do this, this matters because baby steps one through three are very intense. This is, we're pulling back on everything. We're, you know, we're sacrificing not just in our own lives, but other people around us generally tend to feel the sacrifice too. We don't do as much for Christmas. We may not travel for family outings as much. All of those things in Baby Step 1, 2, and 3 because we're getting our $1,000 saved. We're paying off consumer debt. And then we're saving up three to six months of expenses. That's how that works. But then when you cross over into baby steps 4, 5, and 6 that people do simultaneously, you're investing 15%. You're putting a little in kids college and you're putting extra on your house. That's when we say now is that. the time that we can start being a little more generous. We can start spending more on the things

Starting point is 01:37:59 that we enjoy doing. We can upgrade vehicles. We can, you know, whatever these other financial goals are. So I have to believe that your other financial goals are tied up in baby steps four, five, and six. That being said, generosity should always be kind of part of that. Now, most of us, not most of us, many of us throw our generosity to the local church and we're like, yeah, I'm doing my 10%, I'm doing my tide, that's good. But I do feel like some of relation, some of generosity is relational, right? I'm going to the party. I pick up a bottle of wine for the host. I'm going out with my friends. We're all ordering appetizers for the table. Like, right? There's a certain amount of your own purse strings that you

Starting point is 01:38:40 open up when you're in relationship. So my buddy, my co-workers having a baby and that's my friend. Yeah, I'm going to give her a gift because that's part of our relationship. And so, So in this stage of your life, I think that you can participate in that stage of the relationship because you've got the money to do that. Now, the question is how much should we do? And I think that that's up to you, but I wanted to lay that foundation so that you don't get stingy is basically what I was trying to do. Yeah, it's a great point. No, it's so true. And I think it's okay to look ahead and be like, okay, am I throwing the baby shower? This, this is how much, you know, I can contribute this much. I don't know, like think of all the ways that this generosity can play out.

Starting point is 01:39:25 It may not just be in a specific gift. It may be through other things that you're doing. Your house is hosting it. Yes, that's right. That's right. Yes. So, but yeah, I would say, I don't think you will ever regret being generous. I'll just say that much. And pouring into relationships. You don't have to go get the $1,000 stroller they registered for or anything like that. But just, you know, the people were good to you. And there's just a little bit of like, hey, I'm going to live my life with an open hands a little bit. And yeah, this is a, gosh, we went through that, the wedding season. Everyone's getting married. I will say, yeah. Everybody's having, I mean, it is. It is a, every day you're getting an invite of some kind of shower or something's

Starting point is 01:40:04 happening. There is that season of life. And then it goes away, right? And then you're okay. So I don't know. I would say you won't regret being generous. And I will say, because we've talked about this before, Rachel. The wedding part, if you're like the in the bridal party and there's all of those things now, I will say you do have to know when to say when on some of that because it can get that can get quite overwhelming. That gets out of control. All the trips and everything they do. I mean, it's wild. Wild. So yeah, that that is one that you're like, I need to, I may have to rein in some of that. That's fine. All right. Let's go to Mark in Roanoke. Hi, Mark. Welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm privileged to be on the show. My wife is a huge fan, so she's going to flip when she finds out that I actually got on the show.

Starting point is 01:40:53 Oh, my gosh. I can't wait to know why you called. My wife and I are in a, I'll say a slight disagreement over a very large purchase of a new boat. So I'll go over a financial situation real quick, and then you guys can, and my plan for purchasing it. and then you can give me your opinion. Okay. So we own a house on a lake and Virginia that's worth $1.25 million spayed off. Between an annuity and in my Social Security, we have guaranteed income of $100,000 per year until we both pass away.

Starting point is 01:41:34 My wife is currently working. She makes $65,000 a year. However, I'm trying to get her to, uh, tire in the next 18 months. Okay. We have IRAs worth 1.8 million that made $300,000 in the last 12 months. So the boat that I want to purchase is be around $130,000, and I'm going to need a new truck early next year.

Starting point is 01:42:02 My existing truck has 210,000 miles on it. So I'm anticipating I'll be replacing that, and so that'd be 65,000. Okay. So we have a raw IRA of 200,000, and I was going to cash that in, purchased the boat and a truck for cash. Do you have any other cash? Do you have any liquid cash? Well, 20,000. Okay. I mean, I think you can afford it. Yes. Now, the cash position makes me a little nervous. How old are you guys? I'm 65 and my wife was 61. Okay, so you're able to pull money out of the 1.8 IRA for things.

Starting point is 01:42:51 I'm just thinking this boat, which you're probably wishing Dave was on because he's the boat guy. But when these nice boats break, like a nice car, they're expensive to fix. You know what I mean? It's just another maintenance thing to think through. We currently have a boat that's, It's a 2000. Okay, so you're going to upgrade. Okay.

Starting point is 01:43:15 Well, can I ask why you're looking to drain the Roth instead of the other? Why wouldn't you take the money from the other IRA, the traditional IRA? Because of taxes. Okay, but you're going to have. Our income's $165,000. So if I took $200,000 out of traditional IRA, I'd have to pay taxes on that. you would. I'm just thinking you've got a lot of money in traditional accounts that's probably going to want to be converted at some point anyway. And you've got very little in Roth. I almost

Starting point is 01:43:53 would want to keep that growing as it's growing. And then if you can handle the, do you see what I'm saying that? And I would run, I'd probably run it over with an advisor. But that's kind of what I was thinking. If you don't have a strategy for moving some of that 1.8 into converting that into Roth funds, that might be something to kind of help. that process ease about. That was just something I thought of. Yeah. So the way we look at it is that anything with motors and wheels is no more than half of

Starting point is 01:44:22 your annual take home pay. So you guys are not working. So it's a little bit of a different. So you have the 65 coming in from your wife. You have 100,000 coming from the annuity and Social Security. And then if you wanted to count the 300,000 from the IRA as quote unquote income for the year. It's what your investments made, not quite, but we can be a little bit, you know, squish you on that.

Starting point is 01:44:47 I mean, technically, you're under it. Yeah. So, I mean, like, from all the math perspective, Mark, yeah, I think you're good to go. All right, great. You got the green line. Captain Mark. All right, appreciate it. Heading on the lake in his new boat.

Starting point is 01:45:06 But think about the truck. Maybe you get a used truck, Mark. Maybe lighten the load a little with the. wife. She's nervous about it. All right, let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey trusted agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling. They're people you can trust to have your

Starting point is 01:46:03 back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey trusted agent near you at Ramsey Solutions.com. slash agent. That's ramsysolutions.com slash a. We wish we could get to every call and every question on the show. So if you do have a money question that you want answered the Ramsey way, make sure to head over to our website and use Ask Ramsey. Ask Ramsey is our official AI tool that's built and trained on proven Ramsey principles. So you'll get the same answer that you'd get if you're here on the show. This is one thing, Jade. I put this up in my stories a couple days ago just remind people. I'm like, hey, click here if you guys have questions because we get so many

Starting point is 01:46:56 DMs about people's specific situations. And I had more people respond talking about how much they use it and they like love it. So make sure to check it out. It's great. Go to again, Ramsey Solutions.com to ask your question or you can click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast or YouTube. All right. Let's go to Mary in Kansas City. Hi, Mary. Welcome to the show. Hi, ladies. Thanks so much for taking my call this afternoon. Absolutely. How can we help? I have a topic within my marriage, the ultimate dream home, and how to spend our life savings on a house that will bring fulfillment to us both. We're pretty different people. He's very much a minimalist and a saver.

Starting point is 01:47:41 And I gave up my career to become a stay-at-home mom. I moved to this tiny house in the country, got rid of credit cards, sold all my things. Definitely all in on my life with my. husband, but we have really been saving the last six years. We are working really hard. We've paid off every debt that we have. We have saved our goal amount of monies who buy with cash, which is $100,000. And, yeah, I'm really, really proud of us.

Starting point is 01:48:13 We've worked hard together. We also have paid off our home that we're living in for around 200 equity in our home. but now that we're looking at what to do next, we have two kids and we're like ready to do the dream home. But like I said, he's a minimalist and very, very frugal. And I'm like, I really just want the dream home. What's the dream home cost? We are having conversations around like the budget and the size and whether we build on some land.

Starting point is 01:48:51 but to be honest, I don't feel like I have all that much weight in the decision, and I think that part of that is due to our traditional roles in the marriage. He does have his name on everything. It's all like his accounts. And so that makes me feel, yeah, some type of way. I would think so. It sounds like you have yielded to a lot of what he has wanted, not necessarily all that maybe you've appreciated the outcome and you appreciate the principles. but the way it's been done feels like it was more of a, you don't really have an option or a say, and then you get to this point on the other side of it and you still feel like in your marriage

Starting point is 01:49:32 that your voice is not appreciated or wanted or your opinions aren't looked for. And there's an excitement behind what you have dreamed about and want. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it's finally time to kind of like splurge a little on a home, that makes us happy, but he wants a lot less than I do.

Starting point is 01:49:55 And I feel like it's finally time that my opinion should matter because, you know, I'm home with the kids. And I just wonder, are there, like, guidelines or maybe advice you can give us to bring alignment toward our shared goal? I trust my husband and I want to follow his lead, but I just wonder, like, maybe something I'm worried about that I hear you saying. It's almost kind of like you've, I abided my time. I did my, do you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:50:25 Like I've earned the right for my opinion to be heard is almost what I'm feeling here. I did all the sacrifice. I stayed home with the kids. I did all this stuff. And now is my time. And I would just like, no, it's the exact opposite, not selfish at all. I would be saying it should have been like that from the beginning. You don't have to earn a seat at the table in your own marriage.

Starting point is 01:50:47 that you are the table. You know what I'm saying? Like you set the table. So, of course you're at the table. You're the other adult in the relationship. Yeah. And it should have been 50, 50 from the jump. And so now you're in a situation, which is not going to be easy.

Starting point is 01:51:02 You've got to untangle that and write the ship a little bit. And the question that I have for you is, let's pretend that you came to your husband tonight when things are not heated, when you're not in the midst of an argument, when you're not in the midst of a debate. And you just came to him and said, you know, I'd love to have a discussion with you about something I've been thinking about. And you kind of start to tell him kind of what you've told us on the phone, which is, you know, I think that I've relinquished some of my opinions. And I've let go of some of the things that I feel are important. And I've kind of backed away from those in favor of doing what you want to do. And I kind of regret doing that. And going forward,

Starting point is 01:51:42 I don't want to do that anymore. And here's how it's made me feel. Yes. And I'm going to start saying things that are probably uncomfortable because they haven't been voiced. Yeah. And you can do this all very kindly, Mary. You know, this doesn't have to be abrupt. But you guys have set a marriage. And in the name of, if I can say this to you, because I live in the South, in the name of a biblical, quote-unquote. Submission.

Starting point is 01:52:06 Yeah. And what it ends up doing, what was supposed to be seen as a good thing has been taken. and twisted to where you marry don't have what doesn't feel like value. And you're the other adult in your relationship. And you can still respect and love your husband. But he also can love and respect you. Scripture as much says, submit to one another and to yourselves. Like, I mean, so I would not to sit here and get in a theological debate by any means,

Starting point is 01:52:38 but there is harm. I can't, in doing this show specifically, these calls we get in. There's a pattern that we've seen, and I just want to encourage you, Mary, that you can be an incredible wife and love your husband and you guys can have a great marriage. But that can only be done if two people are participating in making life choices to create a life that you guys love together. And it sounds like he's been the one making all the decisions. And you're doing it in the name of leading, but he is not. holding up his end of the deal of looking at his wife and sacrificing himself and saying, what does my wife want?

Starting point is 01:53:21 Yeah. So it is more, it's a marriage dynamic that I, I don't know if there's a great counselor or marriage therapist, maybe who is a believer, but maybe challenges a little bit of some of the ways that this has been done. Yeah. That would be really great to sit and talk to because I think out of a healthy marriage, this question can be answered. And I'm not sure you're going to get to a point where you both see eye to eye on a home purchase when this has been the pattern of the marriage. Does that make sense?

Starting point is 01:53:57 Yeah. So it actually could be, this could be seen as such a gift, Mary, that you guys like actually have a chance to look up and be like, oh, wow, we have gotten into this cycle. And Winston and I have gotten into cycles in marriage before. And we look up and it's been years. And you're like, how did we get into this cycle? And you kind of have. have to break it. Yeah. But for the health and the beauty and the good of your marriage. So I would say that, but I know you didn't call in for marriage advice. You called on it about the home. So I would say if it's within the Ramsey, obviously paying cash 100% is like amazing.

Starting point is 01:54:32 But we know that's not realistic for everyone. And if you don't follow that, follow the premise that you guys put down. I would say for you now 20%, and that the payment is no more than 25% of your take home pay. You could, you know, there's some wiggle room there if you guys, if you do want to look at other homes. So there, I'll give you that permission, Mary. You can dream a little if you want if it's beyond that 300,000, the equity in the house and the 100,000 that you guys have saved. But I, and you know, and you may settle on the, or not settling. You may choose the 300,000, which is totally fine.

Starting point is 01:55:09 I just want you at the end of the day to feel like you, your opinion is valid. and Mary, and that he's excited to hear it. You know what I mean? That he, like, wants to know his wife and wants to know what makes you excited, and he sacrifices himself and his wants and desires for you. Thank you. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:55:29 But that's, I know that's a loaded ask that we just gave you. It was right, though. Sometimes you need somebody who's outside of the situation because you can't see the forest for the trees. You need somebody else to be able to look and go, wait a second. That doesn't, that's not right. Not what it was supposed. That's not what, we'll just go back.

Starting point is 01:55:46 That was not what that scripture was set up to do. No. Yeah, but you got two, you got two eyes behind the sesame. So call us back. We're on the show later this week. Yes. Tell us how it goes. Hey, guys, Dave Ramsey here.

Starting point is 01:56:19 Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now, you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to Ramsey Solutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's ramsysolutions.com. Our scripture of the day comes from Jeremiah 2614.

Starting point is 01:57:13 As for me, I am in your hands. Do with me whatever you think is good and right. Next is from Corey Ten Boone. She said, hold everything in your hands lightly. Otherwise, it hurts when God prized your fingers open. I know that's right, Corey. I love Corey Ten Boone. Oh, she's amazing.

Starting point is 01:57:33 When I saw that come up for the quote of the day, I was like, I love her. She's amazing. Amazing woman she was. All right, let's head to Jessica, and she is in Denver. Hi, Jessica. Welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. How can we help? Hi. So I had a question concerning financial secrecy and mine.

Starting point is 01:57:56 My husband, we've been married for 10 years and I found out a lot of different things that have been kept from me and some finances that have been lied about. And my question is, is how do you go forward with someone when finances are extremely not agreed on? And when they're challenged by the wife that they are lied about. And so I just am wondering if there's some guidelines when it comes to financial things that have not been agreed on. And there's been a lot of mistrust placed because of that. What did you find out and how did you find it out? I have a Robin Hood account that was that he made in my name. Without you knowing?

Starting point is 01:58:46 With me knowing, he said that he had had his other one shut down. And I didn't ask about that. But he made one in my name. And then he was trading on it, had a lot of money put into that account from a savings account that's not in my name. it's in his, ended up losing that money, and then ended up charging it, $11,000. Then ended up charging it. This is without me knowing. Then ended up charging it back, called his bank and charged it back.

Starting point is 01:59:23 And then when I saw that, the account was shut down immediately by him. And I questioned that and said, hey, you know, this is not making sense of what went on. At that point, I would lie to and was told that someone else had logged into the account and taken all that money. Of course, a big fight ensued because I did not believe that. And so at the end of this, you know, we went through, you know, a whole long fight about it. And he did eventually tell the truth that he did do that. What other things does he lie about? because usually you, unless someone has a pattern of lying,

Starting point is 02:00:07 you usually tend to believe them when they tell you things the first time. So what else does he lie about? About four years ago, we had gone on a vacation, charged it to a credit card that we were going to pay off. Totally fine. We had the money to do it. A day after we got back from the vacation, he texted me and said,

Starting point is 02:00:27 hey, you know, if you see a charge back for a Walmart, charge back. I called the bank because I saw something that wasn't unauthorized. Well, the next thing I know, the whole account is zero when we had just charged $5,000 to the account. And so I had said, there's no way that that was just a Walmart charge back. And, you know, we didn't do that in the first place. Why did you go ahead and charge all of that back when that was a valid charge for that vacation? Same thing happened just very, very angry that I had, you know, called him out on that and he kept lying about it until, you know, I just kept pressing and pressing and then the truth comes out. And I'm a very honest person. I really take that very seriously.

Starting point is 02:01:15 And it bothers me that I feel like I can't have a trustworthy husband. And then in dealings with someone else, I found out, you know, some things about some different deals that he had done that weren't honest and he ended up charging it back. And that was very recent. So that's why I'm calling in because it just seems like a pattern throughout the years of charging things back or taking money when it wasn't supposed to be taken and then lying about it to me. How long have you been married?

Starting point is 02:01:49 Ten years? About ten years. Okay. Is he at all? repentive and wants to change and wants to work on it, or is everything defensive? In the fights, everything is extremely defensive and very adamant that he did not do the things that I know he did. Have you...

Starting point is 02:02:19 Go ahead. I was going to say, have you had conversations about the behavior that you've brought up in a non-argumentative time? So just... Absolutely. And what are those conversations like? Very apologetic. I'm not going to do it anymore.

Starting point is 02:02:39 But then when there's financial strain, it ends up happening over and over again. So what do you want? What do you, when you, listening to what you've told us... Do you guys do a... Sorry, can I ask this real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you guys work on your money together, Jessica? Like, do you do a budget?

Starting point is 02:02:56 Do you all sit down and talk about it? I have tried to push for that. We have one account together, and then throughout the years, I have found that he's created several other accounts that I did not have access to, and that's another point of contention because I do want those things together so that I, so there is accountability. Do you work? Does he work or do I work?

Starting point is 02:03:19 No, do you work? I do, yes. What do you earn? I earn 120. And what's he earned? He is currently laid off. So when he was, he was making 90. How long has he been laid off?

Starting point is 02:03:39 For about four months. Okay. And it's kind of been a pattern with that as well. We'll work for about a year. And sometimes it hasn't been his fault as far as being laid off. But it's always, I've been the one with a stable job, And it's always been where we've gotten these emergency situations where I have to pick up the slack or something like this is done because there's like an emergent saying that on his end that he feels like he needs the money for. So it just feels like a revolving door for me.

Starting point is 02:04:12 So when you say what do I want out of this, it's very hard to see a way forward. And I'm trying to see it because I do want our marriage to work. but it is very difficult for me to see what that path looks like. Have you ever done any counseling with him? Has he ever been open to that? No. And I have had counseling myself. I've reached out myself up into this point with this last incident.

Starting point is 02:04:41 He has refused counseling. And that's a big deal. I want to say because whenever there's a partnership, like marriage, obviously, it has to be two people who are willing to grow together that are willing to grow as individuals that are always willing to better themselves. And if one person puts a stop on it and says, I refuse. And not even better myself, but even to like go what my wife's asking me after I have absolutely lied over and over and over and I refuse to do it. Like even that, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's a big red flag.

Starting point is 02:05:14 Because my prayer would be that, and we get these calls sometimes to, to give some men in the situation grace that they get in trouble financially, that they've done money, they've taken care of all the money, and they haven't been able to pay the bill, so they charge a credit card one month, and then they end up in this bad cycle. And it's like this horrible thing, and it's not good because they didn't tell their wife.

Starting point is 02:05:37 But then it was, you know, then she found out, but this is why, and then they're trying to work together and rebuild it. Like there's salvageable situations. You don't mean in this. And my prayer would be the, I don't know, the golden stake would be that you find redemption in this. And over time, slowly he chooses to rebuild trust, take the steps that you need him to take for you to feel good over a period of time. I mean, I'm talking, two years or something of him doing what you need, Jessica, because he did this for what you need to rebuild trust. and that if one of those things is going to therapy once a week for nine months,

Starting point is 02:06:18 it's like we're going to go, we're going to do this. Jessica, have your own account over here so you don't have to, you know, if you feel safe for doing this, like, you know what I'm saying? Like it is a, it's a total just surrender. But if that, if you can't get there, it's hard to move forward. So, oh, Jessica, I'm sorry. I wish we had more time to talk it through. But yep, we're thinking about you.

Starting point is 02:06:42 Well, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

The Ramsey Show - Sacrifice To Win

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