The Ramsey Show - The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

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Live from Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. I am Rachel Cruz hosting it today with my good friend, Ken Coleman. And listen, if you love The Ramsey Show, if you are an active listener, we need your help. We wanna know what your favorite parts of the show are, what you like, what you don't like,

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just click the link in the description. We're actually giving away a $500 gift card to someone that fills it out. But these surveys really do help us shape the content of the show and what you guys want to hear. And so we are thankful for you to do that. Now you can give us a call at triple eight, eight two five, five two two five, and Ken and I will be answering your questions.

You know, I'm looking at the screen here in the studio and it just occurs to me, we look like we're very coordinated today. We did not communicate ahead of time, James. This is just, you know. Ken loves a coordination of outfits and here we are. I'm a little excited about it, which is why I pointed it out.

It's rare that we, you know, coordinate outfits. It never happens, so this is fun. But we're here to coordinate efforts on your behalf. How about that? Well, well done, Ken. Do you like that? Like that segue? Well done. Okay, up next we have, which is one of my favorite calls to take, is actually two people on your behalf. How about that? Well, well, John, Do you like that? Like that segue? Well done.

Okay, up next we have, which is one of my favorite calls to take is actually two people on the line. I'm assuming they're a couple. You're kidding me. And this is Valerie and Bill. I couldn't be more excited that we have a couple on with us.

Yeah, they're calling from St. Louis. Hey, you guys, welcome to the show. Hi, good afternoon. Thank you for having us. Absolutely. And you're both here, right? Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. That's so fun. Okay, so great. All right. How can we help? What's going on? Yes, ma'am So I inherited inherited a large amount of money

from my dad how much my million plus And it's in the cell of this house It's where initially comes from there's actually an addition to that inheritance that's in the cell of his house, is where it initially comes from. There's actually an addition to that inheritance that's in IRAs and things of that nature, it's like 2.5 in locked up in that, but. Wait, 2.5, wait, hold on real quick, Valerie, 2.5 in the investments and the million from the house

or is 2.5 altogether? No, it's separate, yes ma'am. Okay, so 3.5, okay. Yes ma'am. So my question is is I would like to Give some of the little bit of this money not not a lot just a little bit to our four children Right now my dad didn't leave him anything. I was the only child and so he pretty much just left everything to me but I would like to

Give them some and the the dilemma I'm having is that I have four kids in four different financial situations. My oldest one is married with three kids, a wife that works, has a house, he's financially okay. My second son is married, has a wife, two children with one on the way. Could use a financial bump if you will, owns a house. My daughter who's also older, she owns a house that is living with her boyfriend who they own the house together. I know that's a real Dave Ramsey no no but anyway and so she's financially well. She's graduated nursing school and she's got a good head on her shoulders financially. She's the saver and then I have a daughter who is currently in college and still lives at home, who needs to get hit heavily in the head with the Daver and the financial piece, seriously. So you can see I'm

kind of all over the map with if I give them some money, how do I gift it to them? I don't want one, I don't want to enable one. I don't want another one to just blow it I don't want to you know, potentially give them money and put it on the house Let me let me jump in for a second. So how much are you planning to give each child the same amount or different amounts? Same dollar amount across the board. It's not I mean, it's not huge. I'm just thinking like, you know, maybe just 10,000, just like 10,000, just something just to kind of help them ease their financial life right now.

So where's Bill at on this deal? Bill? Yes, sir. Where are you at? I personally think they wait until something happens and we pass onto the other side and they get the whole shebang that's in our crush. Okay.

This is a fun, okay. This is a, yes, this is an interesting discussion. Okay. Because I read a book, which you guys should read just for this discussion because I don't agree with the entire book, but it's part of it. I love that you're coming with a book recommendation. It's called Die with Zero. Have you heard of this?

I know this book and it's on my list to read. It is, it is interesting because part of this discussion is what you guys are talking about. And his philosophy basically is give your kids their inheritance. Now. What now? So that's, because the most time, according to the book,

that people need money, so to your point, Valerie, is really between 24 and 34. You're paying off student loan debt, you're getting your first home, usually transitions within marriage and kids, like the most happens usually within that timeframe. And they could get a head start, quote unquote, financially, if they had help with a down payment or whatever it is,

and then they get to build above that, and they get to start earlier versus them getting money, this is not kind of against you, Bill, a little bit, but versus the older kids now being in their 60s when Bill and Valerie pass to the other side. Well, when you're 60s, you're pretty much all set up. You don't really need it or you shouldn't. And then what do you do with that?

Right, so it's just kind of like- All right, so let's stay there for a second. Go ahead and use it. So before we get them, so if that's the case, and you're not necessarily saying they do that here. No, it's just a take. Valerie and Bill, to my knowledge, you two, you all speak up here. You don't have already a set amount that you were going to give outside of this

conversation of give them all 10 grand out of this inheritance. But Bill, if I'm hearing you right, you're going, we don't know what chunk it'll be, but whatever we have left when we die, that's what they get. There's not a certain amount of money that you would be in favor of giving them now. This idea that Rachel put out there. Would the two of you go, all right, if we gave them a larger chunk now, would you be okay with that?

Well, my thing is, so we're gonna be paying off our house and a few other things that we have. I just don't want to, I would rather that money continue to grow because now we will be financially set and then in hopes if the market is the way it should be, we would have multi-millions in there for them whenever we die. All right, but that's contingent on you guys stewarding it as you would and it grows over time. So I appreciate the book idea, but that's I feel like that's only applicable to people who have a large chunk of money. That is true. Yes, that's fair. So in this case, which is them and they have 3.5 million.

So in this case, you two, you guys are, you're calling us to weigh in the middle of the deal. And I want to know Bill from you. I mean, it's 40 grand, which granted it's nothing to sneeze at, but 40 grand out of 3.5 million, it's not a ton. That's where I'm at. So is it, what's bothering you about it Bill? Is it less about the dollar amount and probably maybe the principle of it? Is it truly equal to all four

because there's four different situations? Yes. Yes. I'm gonna tell you as a father of three, Rachel's a mother of three, my vote is yes, each one of them gets the same amount. You create a whole, I don't like giving them all different amounts based on their realities. And you could wait with like the one in college

and say we're gonna hold it until you're 25. You know what I mean, there could be an age. But where are you at on the 10 grand each? Forget the number amount, Is it an equal amount? Oh, it's equal. Yeah. I think it needs to be equal. I feel like it can get real messy real quick. Yes. Even though certain kids obviously maybe need more right now. But I also want this, whenever you give a gift of money, you want it to be a blessing, right? You want this not to continue to harm. So if you do see situation where this could be actually

not good for them and leads them in more of an unhealthy path, that would be more of a pause for me. Just to think through, that's why the age limit may be something to think about like when you're 25, you get it, I don't know. Just throwing it out there, but no, I'm in favor. Sorry, Bill. I'm on Valor's side.

Sorry, Bill, 10 each. And it's such a small percentage compared to what you guys will leave them anyways. So this is the Ramsey Show. You know, every year I hear the same excuses for why people don't get the life insurance they need to protect their families. So this year, let's clear the air and look at the facts. Most people are concerned about price, but term life rates have never been lower. Having 10 to 12 times your income on a 15 or 20 year plan is in many cases just plain cheap. Second, life

insurance through your work is not enough, especially since these plans go away if you change jobs. You need to have your own policy so you're not without protection when your family really needs it. Third, stay-at-home parents need life insurance, especially those with young kids. People don't realize how quickly the costs add up without someone at home taking care of things. So no more excuses folks, get the protection your family needs. Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282. They've been my choice for all my insurance for over 25 years and are the only people I trust. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. We are taking your calls on life and money. Up

next we have Kel in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Hey Kel, welcome to the show. Hey. Hi, how are you doing? I'm doing well. I sent an email because I didn't think I could get on, but then I called and got on. There you go, Kel. Looky there. You're live right now. This is exciting. I see. I have a two part question. One about investment and the second part is about beneficiary. Okay. All right. What's your first question? All right. So I started watching Dave Ramsey heavily last year. I love his advice, all of you all, your perspectives on life and your sense of humor. It's just amazing. But I've always been- Thank you. I feel like she's talking about me there. So I really appreciate that, Kel. Thank you. talking about me there. So I really appreciate that. I've always been doing well financially, like pretty decent, but there is definitely room for growth and improvement and this show has really helped me. As a social worker, I make about $88,600 annually and I get about $4,200

a month for my rental properties. I own the rental properties outright. I manage them myself, so there's not a whole lot of overhead. There was this one episode Dave talked about being able to charge low rent, give grace, and et cetera due to circumstances, and that just really resonated with me, but also I have quite a nest egg in savings, and that comes from a financial insecurity that I once had that I'm now healing. So now I'm open to spending some leisure, having fun and just

investing more. I've always wanted to, the properties that I have, they're all single family homes and so I've always, the long-term go out like, okay I'm done with that. I want to do multi-unit and I think I'm ready, but I'm really not sure about the best way to go about doing that. And some of my ideas just don't align with your principles. I know that I'm just going to say them anyway. Um, so I'm not sure if I should sign it. The multi-unit, get a key lock on my personal residence where I owe 101 and it's worth about 300. My next bag is 175 cash. That's not quite enough to purchase

outright and the prices are just rising and I sometimes I feel bad for not doing this a couple years ago when the prices were lower but I was scared and all of those things. Okay, let me interrupt you real quick. Let me ask this. So you make $88,000 a year, you bring in $4,200 in rental properties that you own outright. How many homes is that? Five. Five, and how much are they worth?

They're not worth a lot of money. much are they worth? They're not worth a lot of money. They're in Alabama. They're not worth a lot. Okay. No, that's fine. That's fine. No, I mean, still it's fantastic. And then you have $175,000 in just savings. Is that what you said? Different savings accounts. One is an account where I put all the money from the rentals. That's about a hundred. I just pay insurance, I just do the repairs and then the other one is just regular savings. But recently one account had thirty thousand and I was just looking and it was gaining like 25 cents a month and just listening to you all and I looked into the mutual trust, I believe,

and I went with LPL Financial and I invested there. Just to see where that goes, but that's new. I was, you know, nervous, but like I said, I'm trying to be more open and make money for me. Yes, totally, no, I hear you. Well, Kel, you've been, let me just tell you, I mean, it's very impressive what you've done. I mean, you are in an incredible spot financially.

So you call the Ramsey Show, yes. Any of the examples or options that you gave to purchase a multi-unit, we would not go for because they all pretty much involve debt. So I'm not going to go down that route with you. But what I would encourage you in is, I so appreciate your willingness and urgency to continue to grow, right?

You want your money to grow and you're like, what's the next thing? And I think that that is fantastic. But what happens so easily is that emotion and that motivation sometimes crosses a line of risk. And then people take on debt and then take on risk and they take this beautiful, peaceful life that you have where you're just not, I mean, you're making 4,200 month

on rental properties. I'm like, you have this incredible life set up and then they go and kind of mess with it and suddenly now you have a bank in your life, you're worried about tenants and suddenly this peaceful life has now brought on a bank in your life, you're worried about tenants, and suddenly this peaceful life has now brought on a level of anxiety and work and risk, and it takes a part of your mindset away from you

and away from the peace that you have. So I want you to grow financially. We are all about that on this show. I think that that's fantastic. I just want you to do it in a slower, wiser way that's going to ultimately, for you, Kel, set you up as a whole person, not just the financial piece of your life,

but every element of your life to still continue this piece that you have. So what I would do is either continue to do, because you can't, I mean, from our regards, you can't afford to go buy a multi-unit complex. So what I would say is either continue to do what you're doing, maybe save up and go buy, you said that our homes aren't worth a lot,

maybe you go and step up and rental and go buy in a nicer neighborhood somewhere that's more expensive, you can get more rent that way. Right, growing in these ways that is more within your means when it comes to cash. Because right now you're on baby step seven. I mean, you're good. I'm sensing, Kel, that you gave us a real window

into what's really going on here. And I think you need to be okay with how well you've done. I think Rachel nailed that. And there's the same thing that you identified at the start of the call, where you have some financial insecurity and you've saved all this money up and you're just afraid to spend it.

That's also driving this question, which is I feel like I need more and more and more and I'm willing to be risky and go into debt to fill this hole in your soul. And the hole in your soul here is whatever you come from that you've conquered by the way. But you still have that fear. And by the way, we all have those.

So you're not abnormal. Rachel's right. You've crushed it. I think you need to identify today that the same thing that's not allowing you to go spend some of that cash and live some of your life and enjoy the fruits of being disciplined is the same thing that's making you question, should I add more to my portfolio? Do exactly what Rachel said. When you can upgrade in cash, right, to better investment properties, do that. But don't have this burning in your soul that I've got to do more to break

some generational poverty or whatever you've come from. And I sense that that's probably true with you, am I right? Yeah. Okay, so Rachel's already giving you great advice. I say amen to what Rachel said. I'd add one other little thing. I want you to enjoy some of your money for a bit. Stop thinking about adding your portfolio right now, and why don't we just take a really great vacation? Why don't we bless some people in your community with some nice, generous financial gift that's easy for you, but you begin to see the value of what you've done and allow you to soak in that, that, hey, I've earned this, I've broken this generational poverty, I'm never going back, I'm the future, I'm the model, so let's model the way.

I think that's my encouragement for you today. And I would say, Kel, too, jumping off what Ken was saying, and I think he is so spot on, is that growing your portfolio, again, that's not wrong, but we want it to come from a right motivation. And if the motivation is out of a lack of fear or scarcity or, oh gosh, if I don't do this, what's gonna happen is you're gonna get the complex,

and then the finish line moves again. And then it's like, well, I probably shouldn't have gone over there, so maybe I should, you're gonna keep going, going, going, going, going. There has to be a level of contentment in your soul. Like a level of peace. Well, it's been about six years since I invested in anything so I have, I was content, you know,

and this was a long-term goal and I just, you know, starting to feel like, okay, I think I'm ready. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, so then maybe your motivation is pure, but I would just do it then from a tactical sense in the right, wisest way, which we would say is not with debt. It is to continue to be autonomous

when it comes to your money and not have other people telling you what you have to do because then you make totally different decisions with your life and money when other people are involved. You are in a state of autonomy and that's where I would say, Kel, continue to grow. You've crushed it. And you're doing great and go take a vacation.

Yes, spend some money on you. Go enjoy. Thanks for the call. What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Economic growth or recession, business taxes will go up or down. AI will help us work or it will replace us all. But there's no such thing as a crystal ball. That's why more than 40,000 businesses

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help you see into the future with actionable data. And when you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can spend less time looking backward and more time focusing on what's next and speaking of what's next download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com slash Ramsey it's free at netsuite.com slash Ramsey at netsuite.com slash Ramsey. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. One of the ways for you to get a handle on your finances in 2025

is to get control of your money. And we have a live stream January 23rd free to you called Take Control of Your Money. It's hosted by Dave Ramsey and Jade Warshaw and you're gonna learn how to stop living paycheck to paycheck, free up some breathing room so finally you can pay off debt, have some margin and some peace when it comes to your money. And then George Campbell and myself are gonna join them. Yeah, old cameo, huh?

Yeah, later on in the live stream. We're gonna take some live Q and A's and kind of do like this show and take some questions and talk to some of the viewers there. And what's crazy too is if you sign up and you attend this live stream, we are giving some cash away. Yes, there's a cash giveaway for five people to win $4,000 each. I mean, that's unbelievable. It's 20k. Unbelievable. One night. What quick math you can do there. You know, I went to basic math classes. Unbelievable.

So sign up for the free live stream by going to ramsysolutions.com slash live stream or click the link in the description if you're listening on podcasts or watching on YouTube and join us, it's free. It's gonna be a great night, it really is. These live streams are always very helpful at the beginning of the year

to either just get the motivation back again and kind of get back on track or if you are new to all of this and you're thinking, I need to start, a fresh start with my money, this is what you want to attend. So again, join us for Take Control of Your Money on January 23rd. Up next we have Rose in Washington, DC.

Hi Rose, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you guys? We are doing great, how can we help? So my question is financial, but it's also affected by like relational stuff. So my question is, is it the right decision for my boyfriend and I to move out from living with his family when the lease ends,

knowing that our rent will double and we're still on baby step two. And then we also have two colleges we'd have to pay for starting in the fall. Um, for some background, I'm 31 who's 27 and we're currently going through like an intense disclosure process and therapy. So we think, you know, being with families, like adding some stress. And then at the same time, we unexpectedly got custody of his niece a year and a half ago when she was 17.

Um, so we got her late in life. So we know we won't make it to baby step five in time to save up for her college that we have to start paying for in the fall. So what's the alternative if you don't move out of the brother's house? We would have to stay living with like family members which the run is cheaper but just it's um and it's not what his parents is with like brother, nephew, family so so yeah it's a disaster you know you want to get out of there you know you should get out of there right yeah yeah so is there not a better rent option um it's just like right now each like me and my boyfriend are each paying like 550 but50, but if we move out, you know, getting an apartment near the DC area for like a one-bedroom or two-bedroom with our, our needs would be like

double what we're paying now. Where, okay, I know that area somewhat. Where are you now? What, what area are you in? We're in the suburbs, we're in like Springfield and we're in a big house. So, um, we split it between six people versus if we go out on our own we'll be paying double for ourselves. Yeah so give us run the numbers for Rachel here what you got what your income is versus what this new rent would be. Okay so I make about eighty six thousands per year with multiple jobs and then last year my boyfriend made twenty thousand because he was part-time

in college. He's about to take a break on that. So about like together it's about 106,000 total per year. And then the rent that we're paying right now is 1,120. But if we move out, it'll increase to about 2,500, which I think is still in the 30% monthly income, but we're nervous about that we're gonna be cash think is still in the 30% monthly income, but we're nervous about that we're gonna be cash flowing colleges

starting in the fall. Okay, Rose, let me tell you this. A little bit of a red flag that I have going up is that you're saying a lot of hour, hour, hour. You're taking care and putting money towards a family member in a situation that you don't have any legal, you know, right to in a sense, meaning that you are putting your money in to a life

and a relationship that there is no marriage, there is no legal binding. And there's a part of me that worries me because, you know, even though I'm sure you guys are in love and you know, you've been in a relationship for a while, we get calls on this show quite often that we get a call and it's like, yeah, my boyfriend and I just broke up and I still have debt and I don't really have a ton.

And then it turns out that they were giving their money and your income to a situation that if something were to happen with the relationship, you don't get anything from on the back end. Does that make sense? Like there's a big risk there. And I'm not a huge fan of you feeling this burden either

because it's not your niece, it's his. And so I, there's a little bit of that. And she's the breadwinner, I hate to say, in this situation. 100% she is. Which I really don't like. I mean, boyfriend needs to get his act together. Why don't y. Which I really don't like. Boyfriend needs to get his act together. Why don't you get married? Well there's that. So okay, well that's the

little part. Yeah, so we've been together almost six years and we were about to get engaged but he had a relapse and so that's why we're in the intense therapy process. What do you mean? We've got to put that on pause? Without getting into the nitty-gritty, what kind of relapse? Um, like a full relapse. Are we talking about substance abuse? No. Okay. All right, so. But I am in a 12-set program. Yeah. You are? Yes, and him too. He's in recovery now. And then we're in the disclosure process. Okay. When you said disclosure, I see. I figured there was something. Okay. All right. Yeah. We're not, we don't want to

dig anymore. Okay. Yeah. So, uh, Rose, I would, I would be, yeah. I, and again, this isn't to punish him. This is to be wise for Rose. And I would tell you this, I mean, honestly, Rose, we are, we are one of the shows in America

that, one of the only shows that tell married couples to combine their finances. A lot of people say, just keep everything separate, regardless if you're married or not. We say, when you get married, you need to combine everything, except for with the asterisk, if there is an ongoing addiction, if there's abuse,

if there's something in the relationship, we do recommend separating, again, for protection of the other spouse until trust is rebuilt and all of it. So from a financial perspective, Rose, I would really, and again, it's not to punish him, but it is to say, hey, we are not married and we were going that direction.

There was a relapse, which again, I think happens in the recovery world. We have a good friend that is in recovery too. And so like, it is wonderful. And there was a healing journey and a process that I totally believe in. But I would just, I would slow down and I wouldn't be fretting about the niece's college.

That's not even your niece yet. I mean, all of it. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I just, I would keep some things very, very separate until you feel comfortable enough to marry this man. And at that point, then he is trustworthy then to together start working on this life financially together. But until then, there's no we in it.

It's his niece. He got custody. You know what I'm saying? I know that probably goes against so much of how you guys have been living. And I know that feels really counter to it. But that's the advice I would give you because again, we hear the other side of it too.

Yeah, and just to follow up, Rose, is it fair to say that when you're going through whatever you're going through now, is it possible that this process leads one or both of you to the point where you guys go, we're not going to stay together or we're not going to get married? Oh no, we're pretty sure we're gonna make it through the process. Alright, I didn't understand that. Okay, so you know at this point I'm never a fan of anybody shacking up together, but I'm old school, no judgment by the way when I say that, no judgment, that's just my personal opinion, I'm not judging anybody. Now with that said, then he needs to be truly paying 50-50 on the rent and you, I'm just clarifying something that Rachel said,

you're not taking any of your income to help out with the niece or anything else. Not until you guys are a legal couple. You pay for you, that means you pay your half of the rent, you pay your half of the utilities, you pay your, that's the end, and everything else is separate until we get legally married.

I wanna make sure you catch that. And that keeps things really nice and clean. Okay. Which means he may need to delay college for a little bit. That's right, yeah. And get his income up. Yeah, that he, if you guys are gonna move out of the family situation that is toxic and not fun to be in,

then your rent goes up and as two adults, we have to split that rent. Well, if he looks up and says, wow, I don't have a lot for this rent, then I'm gonna have to figure out a way to pay for this rent. And you have to problem solving that, right? Instead of just leaning on you, Rose, for everything.

And yeah, I would be very cautious of that. Which again, this is hard and messy in the point of the journey that you guys are relationally too. So I know we're adding on probably an extra layer of hard conversation, but you called. So good luck to you, Rose. Hope nothing but the best for you guys. This is The Ramsey Show. You've got a lot to keep organized in life. Kids and calendars and carpooling and cleaning. I mean, it is so much. That's why you need a knockbox. That way if something happens to you, you leave your loved ones with happy

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WhyRefi? WhyRefi finances defaulted private student loans and builds a custom loan based on your ability to pay. finances defaulted private student loans and builds a custom loan based on your ability to pay. You'll have a payment that you can afford with a low fixed interest rate that you couldn't get anywhere else. Deb, you really stick to your budget and work the debt snowball. Go to yrefi.com today slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y, refy.com slash Ramsey may not be available in all states. Today's question comes from Carissa in Oklahoma. I'm 25, my husband is 37. I have been the main breadwinner since we got married because I wanted my husband to focus on his writing career.

I recently had our second child and would like to stay home to raise the babies. The problem is I can't convince my husband that we can make it on one income. He has not consistently held a job for the last three years due to company layoffs. Address that in a minute. I make about $30,000 a year.

My husband, when he's working, by the way, that's in parentheses, he makes about 30,000 as well. Our rent is $800 a month. And besides our normal bills, we have a car payment of $300 a month. We also owe 3,700 in medical bills. We budget and don't live outside our means.

It would probably be a big financial change to only have one income, but I feel like my most important job is to take care of my children. Is my desire to be a stay-at-home mom unrealistic in this economy? In the economy, no. In your household? Yeah.

In your husband's reality where he can't seem to hold down a job. Tell us about what you think. All right, you heard me. Okay, so I'll address that one. I want to know the layoff situation. Well, okay, so let me get my tea. All right, let me remind you. He has not, these are her words, he has not consistently held a job for the last three years due to company layoffs. False. If I had a buzzer sound, I would hit the buzzer. It should be worded, he has not consistently held a job for the last three years due to his lack of effort. Now, what I'm not disputing is that the guy's been laid off,

maybe multiple times over a three-year period. But when someone is not consistently holding a job down for anything longer than six months, it's an effort issue. And that's going to cause a little stir with some people. Let me explain. In the American economy as of today, one can go work. It may not be the career that you got educated in or that you want to be in, but I can promise you that if I'm shown the door later today after the show, which the jury's still out, I'm not going to be without work for three years no matter what happens. I Am going to work Somewhere and I will make 20 22 25 an hour at a bare minimum Not because I'm great or I'm special or uniquely talented

Because I have a pulse Am I am I am I making a clear point and so there's zero reason for him to go 36 months, and I'm putting it that way on purpose, without consistent income. You know, and I have a heart for this, it's what I've been doing the last seven years at Ramsey Solutions on the Ken Coleman Show, is coaching people who aren't where

they wanna be professionally. But there is no excuse for a man that has a wife and a child to go three years without consistent income. Three years with industry volatility. Sure, that's happened. So I want to make sure that the critics are really hearing what I'm saying.

I'm not saying he hasn't gone through layoffs in maybe his industry or what, but you can go do something. And we're talking about $30,000 a year is what she's making. Right, right, right. And he makes about $30,000 when he works. I got to get my calculator out here. I'll give it to you, but I believe that 20 to $25 an hour range gets you there. It does. It's well over that. Let's just go $20 an hour times 40 hours a week. For those of it's $800, so it's $3200 a month. So that does it. Don't tell me that in America today that you can't go get a $20 an hour job or a $15 an

hour job and then a $16 an hour job. My point is I'm gonna take care of my wife and I'm gonna take care of my baby. So, Carresso, the issue here is not that there is a lack of opportunity out there for him to go do that so that you can have the desires met. The ball in a sense is in the relational court of your marriage, not the financial, because there is something that he, a mental block

he has, whatever his thing is, and that's your issue. And now to get a man to see that, a husband to see that, who is in a belief system, obviously, that is not that, that is counter it, is difficult. And so if that... You know what the bro needs? He needs some grit. Mm-hmm. Good old-fashioned grit.

Hey, dude, I know it sucks. Go landscape. I know it sucks. Go do some manual labor. That's what I would tell him. Get some grit, man. I wish I could, I wish I had a big, fake... What do you call those things?

I'm blanking out, you give people a shot. What do you call it? A syringe? Thank you. I need a big giant fake syringe, James, and it's filled with grit. I'll get right on that. Thank you. I bring it out on calls like this.

I know this is horrible and they're making fun of me, but it's making the point. And I just hold it up. I go, you need a shot of this, my man. Help this woman out so that she can go home and take care of her babies. Cause we've talked about this before on this show. And I'd like to say it. Cause she wants to. This is what, this is her desire. Being a stay at home mom is the highest honor and the greatest job on the planet. Period. That's what I think. I love it. My heart's that, Ken. I mean it.

Amen, hallelujah. I mean it. Well, let me tell you, it's harder work to do that than to do what I'm doing right here, chatting with adults. Right, and by the way, that's right. Seriously, it is very difficult. And by the way, that's not to say- To be a stay-at-home mom.

That I knock professional women. No, no. Because every time we do something no. Listen, my wife. You gotta hear both sides. My wife, different seasons, was working outside of the home. One of my dearest friends on the planet, my little sis right here, she does it. I'm not knocking, I'm just saying we gotta get to a point where there's no shame for stay at home moms.

And the ideal within a marriage family unit like this is that both people individually, that your desires, your needs, your wants, your passions in life, all of it, like how do we both, how do we, how are we able to live in a world where both of you have that and you can support each other within it, right? So that's holistically, I think what makes part of a really healthy, beautiful relationship

when that is in play. It doesn't happen all the time. It doesn't happen every season. But when you're kind of in that rhythm. That's right. And so when you can do that for each other. So for Helm, that's what I would say to Helm, is like there is a level of sacrifice. And in reality and grown-up world that you're an adult with kids, like you have to go have

a job. Like you have to make money. And then if your wife is able to stay at home after you go and do those things, because that's her desire, that's beautiful. That is something that we should all be reaching for, to do the things that we want, right? That's a great point. I know that you and I could speak to this, but there are many times in our two marriages where each one of our spouses has made sacrifices for us. Yes. To do what we get to do. That's right. Yes. With the travel and the speaking. Yes.

Totally. We could go down a list and I think it's really important what you said. That you know, there are times where one of the spouse has got to make some massive sacrifices for the other spouse knowing that your season is coming and it's just part of the deal. I believe that both can have what they want. They may not get it at the same time. No, that's right. But when you can set it up. So yeah, so it's a really good point. It's a long-winded, long-winded answer for us. And you know what? And I want to say this too. We're talking about, in this case, $30,000. We're talking about... I'm giving this guy a hard time with my fake grit, syringe, and all the stuff

I'm saying, but he could get to the point pretty quickly where she could come home. Yes. Well, and their bills, I mean, they owe, you know, $3,700 on medical, which, you know, it's not $15,000, it's $3,700. They got a car payment. That's a big chunk. But of $300 a month, and in the scope of know, it's not $15,000. It's $3,700. They got a car payment. They got a car payment. That's a big chunk. But of $300 a month, in the scope of life, though, is what I'm saying. They can handle it.

This is manageable, right? This isn't two car loans that are $900 each, a student loan, $15,000 in medical debt, $90,000 in student, like, it's not this, like, overwhelming amount. This is a very doable, it's gonna have to be, yeah, does he make the decision to do it or not? Boy needs some grit.

Good luck to you, Carissa. We'll be mailing out that great syringe. James has already got one. He's googled it. It's gonna be ordered. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be a great prop. America's gonna love it. Thanks, America, for a great hour. Thanks to everyone in the booth. And thank you, Ken Coleman. We'll be back. say everyone in the booth and thank you Ken Coleman. We'll be back. Self-defense can be a complicated issue but there's one solution that makes it a lot easier. A Berna launcher. Bernas look like firearms but they're not. They're non-lethal self-defense tools. They shoot chemical-irritant projectiles that stop a threat in its tracks without the

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eighty five five two two five and we'll chat about your life your money anything and everything so give us a call up first we have hunter starting us off in Oklahoma City hey hunter welcome to the show hi how are you guys we are doing great how can we help so I just finished the complete money makeover book. Me and my husband have been living off of a budget for the past year or so and we were able to pay off our cards last year and now we're just working on the remainder which is our student debt. So we currently have $39,000 in student debt. Part of that's my husband's and then the other part is mine and we have

$20,000 in savings right now. So I'm just wondering, would it be better to pay off like my husband's student loan right now, which is $15,000. So pay it off right now. Or if we stay on track with our budget, uh, we would be able to pay off the remainder within like pay off the remainder within, like pay it off altogether within the next four months and just pay it off like at one time. And I'm just wondering which one do you guys think would be better?

So the question is, do you pay, you know, pay one of them off today because you have the money, or do you wait for four months and then pay them all off together? I would go ahead and pay it off. Yeah, go ahead and pay it today. I mean, I would start that momentum because as soon as you can hit the principle and get that lowered, then everything else ends up being more in your favor even over the next four months. So I would, yeah, I would for sure

go ahead and pay some of it off today, get that momentum going. So let me ask a question to you. What would keep you from paying the big chunk of it today? What's keeping you guys from doing that? You know, we just, my husband just got a bonus and I just got a raise within like the last like couple weeks. So I just acquired like a large about indoor savings account, which is super exciting. And I don't think that there's anything that's like stopping us.

We're both on the same page of like, okay, we're so excited to pay off debt. Like we're pumped about it because it can happen really soon. We've both been blessed immensely. Um, but I think I just think of how exciting it would be to just pay it off all at one time and then just be done with it. I think that that's just, what's exciting to me is like, oh, we could do it that way. But the other part is to just pay it off now and then pay off the other half later. Let me tell you why. Let me tell you. And I love that answer. And I believe you. I think that's an honest answer. The challenge is the humanness in all of us.

And so what happens or what could happen, let me put it this way, what could happen, Rachel, at any point, tell me if you think this is off. I will, always can. Oh, I know. Like I even had to say that. But you got that money in the bank and it sits there. And the whole goal, it's earnest, it's honest, it's well-intentioned.

We're gonna wait until we get the whole chunk of 39,000, then we're gonna pay it off. It's gonna be woohoo and great fun. Okay, but you sit that money in the bank and you keep looking at that. You wake up every day and you wake up differently when you get a big chunk of change that goes in the account. You just do. You wake up, I do.

Yeah, it feels great. And I go, I wake up and I go, oh my God, X amount of dollars in the bank. And what happens is you get real comfortable with that money sitting in that account. And then you don't wanna actually have that money leave. I remember the first time we got a fully funded emergency fund years and years ago

when we first started this process, long before I worked for Dave. An emergency would come up and I was coming up with ways. Not to use it. To not use it. Yes, totally. I mean like, we have a a three I'm making this up $3,000 emergency and I'm selling stuff breaking my back stressing out and Stacy

we go we have the money and I go I know but I don't want to pull it out of the account. Yes. And so just just being I think honest the human condition is to hold on to that and then life comes up and an opportunity comes up to do something, you go, oof, we could pay off the student loan debt, Rachel, or we could go on this trip. And I think that's why we always say act now. That's right.

Get the win today. And I mean today. And you're still gonna feel great when you're paying off the 19,000, right? You may be paying 4,000 next month, 5,000000 the next, you're going to be chomping away at the $19,000 remaining, and it's still going to continue to feel great. And that momentum, what Ken's saying, you just kind of keep on this track and this trajectory and you're going to do it.

So, Hunter, great job. You agree with that, by the way? Yeah, 100%. We tend to sit on the money. 100%. Well, and people, hers is pretty short-term, being four months. Some people that are like, oh, I could wait 18 months for sure don't do that because a Christmas trip comes up with the family

and you wanna travel and you pull some, you know what I mean? Like you end up not really sticking to the plan. So as much as you can, just staying on track helps your behaviors and the rhythms of your life. All right, up next we have, is it Nadine in Chattanooga? I'm gonna say Nadine.

Nadine, did I, yeah, which one's right? I'm so sorry, Nadine. That's why you have me. I'm always your pronunciation guy. Gosh, the phonics. That's why I'm here. It's tough. All right, how can we help? Hey there, thanks for having me. It's Nadine. Thank you. One point for Ken. I'm in a bit of a weird pickle in a sense. I inherited my family farm, my parents farm and some money and it excluded my siblings and now there I well two out of three of them are millionaires, so the original will kind of mention like $10,000 each. And then my dad had mentioned after my mom passed that he's gonna put the farm in a truss, so we'll pass through without probate and he was gonna change the will. I had

no idea he'd cut out my siblings and now they're all mad at me because they think I'm the one who did it. Oh, interesting. Yeah, so it's kind of like opposite of winning the lottery, you know, everyone wants to be your friend when you win, but when you inherit something, they feel like you're the bad person. Sure. Even if I were to, I mean, $10,000 is not gonna make a huge difference in their lives. Is that all that's left? Is that what you're saying? If you did split it four ways, is it just $10,000 to each person? Is that what it would be?

No, actually that was my parents' savers, so there was a little bit more than that. Okay. So what's your question for us? Is it what to do? Yeah. I mean, 10,000 seems so nominal to be petty about, but even if I were to give it to them, I feel like it's never enough. And hold on a second. I'm still confused. And we have only about a minute here is the amount that was given to you is how much it was over. Well, with the farm and everything, it was like half a million. Okay, where do you keep coming up with this $10,000 number? I don't understand.

That was in the original will that my dad had before my mom passed. And is that what they're wanting? Is that 10,000 or are they wanting a fourth of the 500,000? That's the thing. I'm not sure. Well, then why don't you sit down with your siblings and have an honest conversation and go, guys, I had nothing to do with this, and that's why I wanted to have the conversation.

What do you all prefer we do? What do you all think is fair? If that's what you wanna do. Now, you got two directions. You can either say, I'm gonna honor dad's will, and I'm gonna deal with the fallout, or I don't wanna deal with the fallout. I love my siblings, let's get in a room and solve it.

Yeah. We're all adults here. Let's figure it out. And again, if they are competent, healthy people and you can do that, that's great. Millionaires too. It's true. Oh, I hope that helps. Thanks for the call. This show is sponsored by better help. Hey folks, we all have stories, the family and cultural stories that we were born into. The stories of the things that have happened to us both good and bad. And the stories that we constantly tell ourselves. And while we can't go back and change any of our old stories, the world is waiting to see what you and I

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And I know a lot of you are psyching yourself up thinking, okay, this year I've got to get my finances in order. And big goals like that are really exciting, but they can also be overwhelming. That's why it's so important to have a plan. So before you do anything else, start with a budget. Start with every dollar. I love every dollar because it's so easy

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I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Ken Coleman. And we're going to Wilmington, North Carolina and talking to Jeff. Hey, Jeff, welcome to the show. Hey, guys, thanks for taking my call. Absolutely, how can we help? So I'm powering through the baby steps. I'm about halfway through baby step two, I'm paying off all my debts.

And I've gotten to my next smallest debt, which is my wife's student loans. The balance is about $8,500. And with our debt snowball, we can kill this in about four months. And I'm ready to do so. But there's a caveat that I can't find the answer to. So it went into default before we were married.

And we have now entered a loan rehabilitation program with the Department of Education. And the deal is, if we make nine months of consecutive payments, they'll remove the default status from the loans and transfer it back out to a normal servicer. So I'm left with two options. Either A, I can get snowballed this and kill it in four months,

but I'm stuck with that word default on my credit history even though it's a paid in full account, or I stretch it out, keep accruing that that interest and go through the program to remove the word default from my credit history and it just do it that way and I really don't know which one's more or I should say less harmful to me. Well the only reason I'd be really concerned is if you were needing your credit score credit reports for a reason right so the main reason someone would pull your credit score, obviously, is to go into more debt.

Also your credit report, if you're looking for a new job, maybe an employer pulls it. But if there's any situation that they pull your credit report and you have another human that you're talking to and being able to discuss and talk through why that is why it is and be able to explain it, then I would get out. I always hate playing the system game

of trying to figure our way through it because of this, that, or that, you know what I mean? I like the idea of paying it off, being done with it, and then in the next 12 to 18 months, if someone pulls your credit report for a reason, to be able to actually have a human conversation about why that word defaulted is on there. And honestly, Jeff, when it comes to student loans

and defaulting and all of that with COVID and everything that happened, like you're not gonna be the only one either. Like, I mean, it's not like it's this thing. Now it may drop, it may hurt your credit score. So if you guys are, you know, if you're gonna go borrow money, which I wouldn't suggest you do,

then it could hurt that, you know, the loan process, but I don't want you doing that anyways. Okay, you don't think it'll haunt me when I try to get a mortgage in a couple of years? Not in a couple of years. At that point, your credit score will basically be non-existent because if you stop borrowing money after this

and you're done with debt completely, your credit score will continue to actually get worse because the way the credit score is calculated, you need new debt recurring to continue and paying on it to keep that credit score high. So when you stop this process and anyone listening that is doing the debt snowball, always know this, your credit score is going to go down until it gets to undetermined. It basically gets to zero. And then when you do that and go and buy a home, they're gonna pull it and see that you don't have

a credit score because you haven't borrowed money in over two years and you can do what's called manual underwriting and get a mortgage that way. Okay, thank you very much. Yep, absolutely. Thanks for the call, Jeff. So that's, yeah, that's a big, that's a big reason I get so annoyed

with this whole industry is they like, make you play these games, right? And if you're like, I'm not playing your games and I'm gonna figure out a way to actually do the plan that I wanna do and I wanna get out of debt for months and not wait nine, 10, 11 months to play this game. It's so frustrating. Cause a lot of people, I mean,

it's a very legitimate question that Jeff asked, and I think a lot of people get in those situations and they're like, what do I do? But when you just kind of don't play their game, it's amazing that you can still survive. And really a different form of consolidation, the best consolidation is the baby steps and the snowball. Really the debt snowball does, it's like you're consolidating your money towards that debt. That's where the greatest momentum is. It's not through one of these consolidation programs. It's like, all right, I'm gonna consolidate my own payments

and really work that debt snowball. That is absolutely the number one psychological and financial way to pay off debt, period. It just works. Up next, we have Stacy in Philadelphia Philadelphia. Hey Stacey welcome to the show Hi, thank you for having me absolutely my question so I have a Bit of problems of me and my husband. We recently purchased the house over the summer and

We've gotten into a lot of pretty much debt even more than we had before just from purchasing the home with renovations. So we want to know what steps should we prioritize to manage and pay off our current debt given we have the renovation loan that we took out, our student loans and car payment and even with credit card debt. Okay, well you give me a list of the numbers of everything. So like how much in credit card debt, how much in car debt, everything. Okay, so the car we owe about $15,000. Student loans it's about $130,000 for the both of us. Okay. Yeah.

And that's just our undergraduate loan. And then our renovation loans, we took out about $70,000. Okay. And then with credit card debt in total with both my husband and I, it's about, I would say $60,000. What were you using the credit cards for? Yeah so we used the credit cards just a little bit backstory. When we took out the loans was to pay a contractor to do work in our home but the contractor did not finish everything

that he did not actually complete what he promised to do so we ended up having to use our credit card to cover a lot of the other expenses. We had other contractors and even people to come in and fix some of the issues that he had left with the house, along with just buying appliances and everything. All right. What's your combined income? Uh, so maybe about 75. It would, it would be close with his two jobs, roughly about 180,000.

Okay. And you said that's for our undergrad. When I asked you about student loans, do you guys have more student loans that's not undergrad or you're just saying we just have our undergrad degrees? Yeah, just our undergrad degree. Okay, perfect. All right, so Stacey, I need to know your why. What's making you guys want to clean all this up? Because yeah, yeah, you kind of got a mess on your hands and what's what kind of got you to this point of oh gosh we got to start paying this off? Well, one, he ended up getting a part-time job and it's just been a lot where all of our money is just going towards bills, where we find that we don't have any other wiggle room to do anything else.

And then we just, on March, we'll make a celebration, our two-year anniversary since we got married. So we're a pretty young couple And my husband would like to go back to school eventually and go into medical school And he has that dream since he was a child So essentially we would love to pay off our debt so we can start living our lives again What's his degree? And right now we're just drowning. What world is he in right now? You said he's got a full-time job and a part-time job? Yes, they're both in the health field.

Okay, and is the part-time job just to help pay these bills? Yes. Oh, okay, I got you. Well, you guys are gonna have to dig out of this. Yeah, so. We got a plan. So, I mean, Stacey, here's that. One of the reasons I ask you why is because you're going to have to feel that really deeply in this process because you guys have, you know, you are going to have to have a lot

of intentionality because there's a lot of debt here. And so what you're going to look at, and I'm just running the numbers, I'm like, if you guys made 180 and even if you went and got an extra job and made $1,000 more, right, you could get up to 192. Like you could, you guys could be on the brink of $200,000 income and completely scorched earth in your lifestyle, not going on vacation, not going out to eat, doing zero more furniture buying,

no renovations, no trips with friends, no celebration on the two year- Sell a car. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. And if you can do that and you guys could live on, let's say 70,000 a year, you got 120 to 130 freed up and you can sit there, pay off that car, you go down the list.

So it's the car, it's the credit cards, it's the, and then next is the reno and then the student loans. So you go smallest to largest. And if you have multiple credit cards, and then next is the reno, and then the student loans. So you go smallest to largest. And if you have multiple credit cards in that, then I would split those up where you have each individual card within that debt snowball. Again, listing all of your debts smallest to largest,

pay minimum payments on everything, Stacey, and attack that smallest debt first, and working your way out of this. It's gonna take some time and intentionality, but you can do this. People tell me about their experiences with big banks all the time. Bad service, fees that nickel and dime them to death, and predatory lending that tries to catch them in never-ending cycles of debt. So if you're ready for a bank that puts people over profits,

check out Fairwinds Credit Union. I recommend Fairwinds because they share our Ramsey values of helping people get out of debt and live generously. If you go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey, you'll see the combined checking and savings account bundle they created just for Ramsey fans. This account bundle is designed to help you take control of your finances and stay out of debt. And Fairwinds also has a great mobile app that's safe and secure so you can manage your transactions with peace of mind.

Fairwinds has been helping people avoid big bank traps for 75 years. So go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey to learn more. It's easy to join no matter where you live. That's F-A-I-R-W-I-N-D-S dot org slash Ramsey. Hey, Dave Ramsey here. Dr. John Delaney and I are coming to a city near you on the Money and Relationships Tour. You, the audience, will vote to choose the topics we talk about, things that impact your life like investing in your future, money, stress, and marriage, and more.

We're coming to Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Kansas City, Fort Worth, and Phoenix in April and May 2025. Tickets are at their lowest price right now. Grab yours at ramsysolutions.com slash tour. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Coming up next, we have Jana in Phoenix, Arizona. Hey Janna welcome to the show. Hi there. Hello hello how can we help? Hi well I'm making this phone call a little earlier than I anticipated. My husband and I have worked really hard and paid off our home. We'll have paid off our home this January. We have our last like five thousand dollars left on our home and we'll be paid at our homes this January. We have our last $5,000 left on our home

and will be paid at the end of the month. Oh my gosh, Jana! Wow! So we're really looking forward to doing our debt screening with you guys. That's amazing! I mean, paid off and everything. Yeah, just 5,000 left. However, I'm really, actually,

I wish I could be celebrating and I'm so upset right now. My husband just left our home at three o'clock this morning to Drive across the country to buy a brand new truck. I guess this is his way of celebrating But we haven't even done it yet But unfortunately, we're gonna have to take out a car loan for this brand new truck that he is traveling Across the country for and I'm just so angry and also hurt. This is not something I agreed on. This is a total surprise.

I just feel, I'm so mad and angry and upset. What a big accomplishment we had, and now we're just, I feel like we're just that clean slate that we have is just being pounded on with another, with more debt. Okay, so- Was he on board all this time? Like he's been with you? Oh yeah, we've been, we are the dream team, yes.

I don't know what- When did you find out about this car purchase? Was this like yesterday? Oh, he's been saying forever. Like forever, he wants this for, you know, the factor, like Dave Ramsey and- Oh, he's been saying it forever. Like forever. He wants to support, you know, the Raptor, like Dave Ramsey. And so I just always am like, after our house is paid off, after our house is paid off, after our house is paid off, and obviously when we can afford it, right? Not taking out a loan. And he just... Okay, so if I heard you right, okay, so if I heard you right,

If I heard you right, okay, so if I heard you right, he got up this morning at 3 a.m. today and told you, Hey, I'm heading out and you say, I mean, this is don't. And he says you don't even know he hasn't discussed this at all. He just literally says, matter of fact, I'm going across the country to get a Raptor like Dave Ramsey. I mean, we've had lots of talks on this truck and he knows I don't agree. And he says, I'll never agree. I don't handle well big purchases. Well, I just paid off a $300,000 home. I can handle big purchases.

I just can handle double purchases. So, okay, you got to give us a little bit more here. I'm sorry. I'm going to dig a little bit, Rachel. Okay. That's fine. All right. So this conversation, he's been on board and paying off the house and the debt and the baby steps. But how long has the, I'm going to go into debt

for a Raptor, how long has that conversation been going on? And when was the last time it was had before 3 a.m. this morning? Right. So maybe for the past two months he's like I'm just gonna do it. I don't care what it takes. And you say... I'm not on board with you. Not at all. I don't agree. Okay. So while today was the day that he'd been kind of tipping his hand that he was gonna go do this and I'm gonna go get a loan. How big is the loan? Well, I probably know he's gonna trade in his truck we had another $30,000 and so I think it'll be around 30 thousand

And how much is left on the house again? five Yeah So I really in the big scheme of things will pay it off quickly. I'm just angry. How much, how much do you get? Well, yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, yeah. And the anger and the hurt comes from not being hurt at all. And that your opinion doesn't matter that there's no pause in the person you're doing life with your partner, your spouse, that there's no back and forth. It's this dominant one way,

and I'm not gonna listen to you. I'm gonna do what I wanna do. That is hurtful in anything, right? And this could be a husband calling us and his wife's like, I don't care, I'm gonna go do what I wanna do. It's not a wife-husband thing. It's a spouse, right? I mean, Rachel and I commiserate with you. We're here to listen, here. You know, a wife-husband thing, it's a spouse, right? Like you're-

I mean, Rachel and I commiserate with you. We're here to listen, here to encourage you. But I can tell you right now, this is a marriage therapy session or two or three or six. I'm serious. That's how I feel today, for sure. I just, the feeling-

Does this sound like him, Jana? I'm curious. Like is this a, oh yeah, I can see him doing this. I can't believe he's driving across country for this. Well, not that, but I'm just saying, not listening to you. Not the actual idea of buying a truck, but this idea that he would go make a decision that you so adamantly do not want him to make

and he still makes it. Is this a pattern? Yeah, does that happen in other parts of your marriage? No, not at all, not at all. Not at all. We have a great marriage and great relationship. Yeah, you know what I think? I think this guy has been on board. And he was like, okay, this all makes a lot of sense. But what also makes sense is after we do all this, we can handle the truck payment and I'm going to go do it. He's been telegraphing this for months. Yeah. How much do you guys make a year? I brought in, I think, $137 last year and he's given finished up his yet, but it's between

$140 and $145. Yeah. I don't think this is a crisis based on what I'm hearing, but I do think this is a marital. No, listen, I'm hearing. But I do think this is a this is a marital...no listen I'm trying to validate your feelings. Everything you're feeling I completely understand and I completely understand you know why you're feeling that. I think you should feel that. But I don't think that there's only so much...and I'm saying this philosophically you know there's only so much Rachel I can do today

other than say, man, we feel you. I don't think that's right. I don't think it's a good marriage move. Should have talked it through. Should have come up with an alternative plan. He knows how much this means to you. But then I will also say the reason that why I believe you guys need to sit with a marriage therapist is because I can also see, I don't agree with his action at all, but I think I'm seeing

a window into this dude. And I think he thinks it's justified. And here's what I would say, not knowing him at all. And if I met him for the first time, I said, hey, Jana just called me on the show and she told me what happened. Hey, listen, bro. I don't think you think that's as big a deal as it is. It's a big deal. I think he- He's minimized it. I think so.

And I think he's, because he's justified. And cause he makes almost 300,000 a year. He's crunched numbers, we're paid off the house, we have no debt. We'll pay it off in two months or whatever, like yeah. In his mind, and I'm not defending him, but I am trying to make maybe, maybe Jana you feel a little bit better. I think this is a situation where he is completely unaware

of how he is truly making you feel. I think he's clueless and I'm not insulting him. I'm saying we are all that way in relationships at times where we are in a place where we're not healthy enough or we're not attached enough that we don't realize what we're doing. Yeah, in the truck conversations that you guys have been having in the last few months, Deanna, have you said, I would love for you to get this truck. Let's map it out. And in May, let's take a road trip and go pick up this truck together.

I'm so excited for this truck for you. Like have you, did you have any excitement and celebratoriness towards this truck for him at any level? No Rachel, I did not. Okay, no that's fair. I appreciate your honesty. I have a hard time with it. Yeah, so I think that's the, I think that's gonna be the relational rub that you guys are feeling is he doesn't feel, I'm assuming, we're all guessing here, that you are so gung-ho on this, you don't wanna spend any money, you're fear-based, you're scarcity-minded, life is fine,

we make $300,000 a year in the grand scheme of things, yes, in six months, none of this is gonna matter, Jana, have some fun, I can't, now I'm gonna have to go make my own fun and enjoy this and And again, not the right move not the right move, but right that's his mindset So you guys you guys have to come together and that's where Jana I would really push you and him I hope he I hope he listens to this call that that that you have to embrace The differences of your spouse and that your spouse's differences is not the enemy. And in fact, they can make you a healthier,

rounded person because he's gonna bring things to the table, Jana, that may make you uncomfortable, not debt, but the fun and the spending. And he's gonna bring that and you need to embrace life and he's gonna help you do that. And then also he doesn't need to be a freaking, I won't say it, and just like, basically middle finger your wife

and go in the middle of the night and go get a truck. That was not okay. I do not agree with that. I gotta add this, our friend, mutual friend, Ian Cron, we were together yesterday, he said, when we're upset at somebody over their behavior, we're really irritated, he goes, it reveals in us something where we can grow. And I'm adding that onto what your advice and your insight.

I thought that was really good. We're gonna leave it there. Pay this truck off. Thanks, Jana. Pay the truck off, you'll be okay. I'm sorry though. Get a therapist in there, it'll be good. All right, let's cut to the chase.

It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey Trusted Agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling. They're someone you can trust to have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey Trusted Agent near you at ramsysolutions.com slash agent. ramsysolutions.com slash agent. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. When it comes to your money, Ken, one of the largest purchases

that majority of people make is their home. Yes. And when it comes to buying and selling your home, it can be very overwhelming, right? The whole housing market, the industry, when it comes to real estate, it can be really hard to tackle, especially alone. And so that's why we created Ramsey's Real Estate Homebase. It's a place with all the tools and resources that you need to be prepared when you buy and sell your home

and to give you the confidence that you're doing it the right way. So there you're gonna find calculators, a start to finish guide, multiple of them to help you, how-to articles, a podcast, a book, and even a video course, all packed with actionable steps

to help you navigate this process of buying and selling your home. So if you're ready to take the next step towards your home goals with peace of mind, make sure to go to RamseySolutions.com slash real estate or click the link in the description if you are listening on YouTube or podcast. All right up next we're going to Diego in Sacramento. Hey Diego, welcome to the show.

Hi, thank you. Absolutely. Yeah, my wife and I just had a baby and we've been having a discussion about opening a college account firm at 529. And my wife's on the side of saving as much as we can and not to pay for his whole college tuition. And I'm more on the side of maybe not doing that just because, you know, for me when I went to school, I didn't have that. And I think it built a lot of character in myself. Um, you know, my parents, they provided a place for me to sleep. Um, you know, they,

they didn't charge me any rent and you know, they provided food for me every day. So, um, I felt like I was really blessed that in what they gave me, you know, in what they could. Um, and I felt like it, you know, it builds some character. I mean, I worked through school and, and it, um, you know, showed me like, you know, the value of money and how, you know, um, you know, what I'm paying for it for school, it, you know, it, it, you know, it just showed me the value. And so I just wanted to get your guys' opinion on whether, uh, maybe there's like a middle point between my wife and I, or, or maybe you should just avoid it altogether or, or

yeah, saving all of it that we can and and you know, that's a good thing. Well I think this comes down to Rachel how big of a stressor this is for you guys when you talk about it. Are you both pretty adamant and it gets kind of tense and there's a lot of separation or are you guys a couple of more conversations from going okay I see it your way. What's the real tension level now on this? Oh, super low. I mean, we're very good about communicating. We never had a problem with that. So when you told her your point of view,

did she agree with you and go, that's interesting? Or does she go, it's too old school, I want to help? No, she says, yeah, pretty much what you're saying. Yeah, like she would prefer, you know, us having more, she says, yeah, pretty much what you're saying. Yeah, like she would prefer, you know, us having more, you know, a better means than our parents did. She's saying like we should, we should afford something that we didn't have.

So let me tell you, Diego, your, the way you're going about this and your, your heart and your thought process, I really love because I do think that our kids have to have grit. Our kids have to have a level of struggle. Our kids have to be able to know how to appreciate things, not be entitled, know how to work hard, right? Like all of these elements of who they're gonna be, the character part of them, we all want as parents, right? Or at least I hope parents want that for their kids.

And that's what you're wanting, right? And so what you're thinking is you're going to do it through the means of paying for their own college. So where I would challenge you is, are there other places that they can learn those same character qualities and, and, and also be able to have their college paid for? Because, Diego, my parents paid for my college, and I'll tell you, there was stipulations around it. And so we had to go to an in-state school. We had to graduate in four years. And that was kind of the main barriers. So I remember thinking, you know, I wanted to go to Auburn University. And I remember dad being like, all right, well, calculate the tuition and the difference between a school in Tennessee, a public university in Tennessee,

minus the tuition of a school in Alabama, you pay the difference. And I looked and I was like, oh, no thanks, go Vols, I'll go instead. And then it was, all right, well now I have to take 15 hours every semester, while some of my friends were taking nine, because people will graduate a semester late

or a year later and they kind of just work their way through. I had to be on a, you know what I mean? I had to have that schedule. So I think it's a misnomer to generalize. If your school is paid for, you're not gonna have hard work and grit. I don't think that's true. I think it's a way that you feel that.

Winston, my husband, he had to work his way through not the tuition part, but everything else. He had to figure. He had to have a job to pay rent and pay for food and all of that, right? So I think that there are ways to accomplish what you want for your kids, and it may look different. And I'll give you one more example, then I'll be quiet and Ken jump in. But for us right now, Diego,

we have a nine, seven, and five-year-old. And Winston sold his lawn mower about three years ago. And we have a lawn company mow our lawn. And he really, really struggled with our kids not growing up watching him mow the lawn. Cause he had a lawn care business in college and he was like, I want my kids to see physically. I want, you know, he was so hard on that,

on himself on that. But then as we talked, he was so hard on that, on himself on that. But then as we talked, he was like, but right now my time is better spent with them on Saturdays than going and doing that. What are ways now that we almost have to manufacture a life where they don't get what they want? They're gonna have to work and do things to get what they want.

So does that make sense? I just don't wanna overgeneralize that if your college is paid for, you're gonna be some spoiled entitled brat. Cause let me tell you, there probably overgeneralize that if your college is paid for, you're gonna be some spoiled entitled brat. Cause let me tell you, there probably are some spoiled entitled brats whose college is paid for and isn't paid for, but it's more of the character of who they are.

And maybe it's revealed to them. I'm glad you really segue nicely for me. You didn't even know it. I'm gonna throw a different angle at you, Diego. Because on one hand, I love the fact that you're going, I don't owe my kids a college education, and I don't think you do. But I'm not gonna qualify this,

I'm just gonna say this, and this comes from experience. Diego, just because you worked your way through college and you took all the benefits that you obviously did, doesn't mean that your child or children are gonna do the same as you. They aren't you, number one. They really aren't. They aren't you.

They will have some of your DNA, but they are not you. And they will have different experiences, they will have different environments growing up. And I think one of the challenges that we face, and I'm just being really vulnerable here, that I've had to learn as a father of three, is that the things that I did, the things that I learned, the way that I handled life is so unique to me. And I know I'm saying something that's completely

obvious, but I think we forget this. And I would just say that in this case, if you played this out the way that you desire, let's say your wife just went, I love that Diego, let's do that. There's a really high, high probability that one or both or all of your kids, however many you have, won't deal with it the way that you dealt with it. And they may go, dad's out of his mind, the old coot, he's a goofball and I'm going to go get a student loan. And because I can, and they get it done so effortlessly. And the very thing that you idealized and kind of thought, this is how I see it

going, it would even break your heart. And so to that end, I would say, if you can fund it, you should as an option. And the 529, as we teach, I'll give it back to my partner here. It's very, it's flexible as to how you can use those funds for lots of qualifications, because the world, here's the other thing. The world's changing. The world is changing so quickly right now.

What will higher ed look like when these babies are to that age? You and I have zero clue what it's gonna look like. So I hope that perspective helps you. I don't think it's as easy as you just going, this is how I want it to be because that's how it was for me. And I get that if anybody gets that, believe me, I actually talk like that sometimes. Is that you know me well, I'm trying to be transparent. And I think that's true. And I think, and again, I want to reiterate, Diego,

the sentiment of what you're longing for your kids to have is so good. Like, that is so good. Absolutely. Because we want our kids to be able to do that. But I think that there is. I'm like, there's different other, and there's so much between.

And like, have them pay for their car when they're 60. I mean, there's things you can implement along the way. Have them try an instrument, a sport, a hobby, let them fail. And they're going to, and the world's hard enough in general, right? I'm like, they're going to bump up against it, but I think you can create an environment within your home between now and 18 that creates, you know, knock on wood, I believe this and I hope it's true, you know, not perfect kids, but kids that you are able to shape under your household. And you as a parent get to put some of those guardrails

in place and if you give them everything they want, are they gonna be more spoiled? Sure, if they gotta work and figure out and problem solve, then that's gonna be good for them too. So I think there's ways you can do it. But thanks for the call, Diego. Thanks for all the guys in the booth. Thank you, Ken Coleman.

Thank you, America. We'll be back. you