The Ramsey Show - This Is What Freedom Sounds Like!

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

📱Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: "My husband has been unemployed for 13 years," "Should I co-sign an apartment for a relative?" "Should I consider separate managed accounts?" "Should I put my husband on an allowance?" "Should I finance equipment for my business?" Support Our Sponsors: NetSuite: Free KPI checklist, visit netsuite.com/Ramsey Zander Insurance: Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282 for a fast and easy quote today. BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/Delony to get 10% off your first month   The Wellness Company: urgentcarekit.com/ramsey for 15% off medical emergency kit Next Steps 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! ❤️ Get tickets to our NEW Money & Marriage Date Night virtual event  🏠 Find a Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agent Listen to more from Ramsey Network 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, number one best-selling author and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, is my co-host today. We're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. The call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Don't believe me? Read Reddit. There we go. Ah, good to be back on the microphone. If those of you that don't care or didn't know, I've been gone for about four weeks goofing off.

Because I'm 64 years old, why wouldn't I? So I went to Turkey on a two-week Bible study of the seven churches of Revelation and then changed the, completely flipped it over, flew to Edinburgh and played golf for two weeks in Scotland with my wife on all of that. And so we've had a blast, and we're glad to be back home. We loved Turkey. The people of Turkey are wonderful. We love Scottish people. We've always loved Scotland. A a lot of fun but we really love america and it's good to be home america so um you know every time i travel i do meet nice people i don't have trouble finding good people in any country i've there's very few countries i just despise john yeah there's there's just when you get out there's good people get off the screens there's good people everywhere yeah yeah, it was great. I enjoyed the Scottish.

It was a lot of fun and had some great discussions with those guys. They're a lot of fun. The Okadis are great. Oh, I bet. And certainly all the Bible stuff we did in Turkey was off the chain. But it was really good to be back with you guys. Phone number 888-825-5225. Susan's in Kansas City.

Hi, Susan. how can we help i am looking for wonderful advice as a way that i can help out my husband um he worked in pharmaceutical chemistry with a bachelor's and a phd worked for 15 years got laid off in 2011 and he's never gotten a job since. It's been really challenging. Whoa. Yeah, big time. His layoff coincided with Obamacare being launched and pushed to get all sorts of pharmaceuticals down to generic price. So it made research really hard to be profitable in the U.S. And of course, the financial crisis had started in 2008. So there were thousands of chemists of his caliber looking for jobs. He looked all over the United States. We were willing to move. We had followed his career previously and I had been a stay-at-home parent but when he

was two years out of having a job I went back in and I got a full-time job and rebuilt my career which has been really helpful but it hasn't replaced his earnings because my bachelor's degree earnings do not equal PhD earnings in chemistry. Apparently they do. Yeah, they do. They far exceed it. Well, I guess in that case, yep, you're right. What I want to do is figure out how I can help him out. I've helped him to seek counseling when he was really down and having depression after being laid off, helped him seek medical help. We've even moved halfway across the country from the East Coast back to the Midwest so we can be closer to family and have a lower cost of living. But I don't think that he is actively seeking different ways to look for jobs. We have enlisted a resume service way back 10 years ago,

and he signed up for some online job seminars, and that was right at the beginning of 2020. Hey, Susan. It was all about networking. I just want to interrupt you. This has nothing to do with the mechanics of finding a job. Okay. He doesn't want to work.

It's really hard. I do accept that concept. I know. Okay. He doesn't want to work. It's really hard. I do accept that concept. I know. I hear from him that he does, but I don't see him taking the steps. But behavior is a language. Behavior is a language. What's he been telling you for a decade?

His behavior for a decade is, I don't work. I don't work. That's the answer to John's question. And his behavior for a decade is I know that you're scared and I know you're exhausted and you're freaked out about bills. You go do something about it. I'm not going to.

And here's why I don't have a lot of compassion. I know too many people of my personal friends who have PhDs who got laid off and they are at the grocery store or they're at Walmart throwing boxes in the interim because they have families and they have commitments that they've made. They have responsibilities.

Absolutely. I also have friends who've been in the throes of depression and have worked like you wouldn't believe to work themselves out, and six months, one year later, they're doing something. And I've encouraged him to take any kind of an entry-level basic job just to get back into working. That's right. And he's not been actively doing that.

I did. That's how I got into my job, and now I've got fabulous business. Well, Susan, that's what normal people do. Yeah. Yeah. And when you're broke and you don't have work and you can't find work in your field, you take a job. Right.

And then you keep working your way back into your field, maybe, but you take a job. And there's no excuses or reason that goes for 13 years unless he's mentally disabled or physically disabled. And even then, I think he could probably have been doing something. I agree. I'm not sure what I can do other than get him out. I don't know that you can do anything.

You've done a lot already. The only thing i would um so my friend henry cloud tells a story um about a guy who tried to help his son get through college and he kept getting thrown out because he was smoking weed or whatever and the guy get him back into another college he'd get thrown out get him back into another college and get thrown out and um the guy said to henry he goes i gotta tell you about my son's problems and he goes your son doesn't have any problems his dad takes care of everything and he smokes weed your son doesn't have any trouble he goes you're the one's got problems you have a son that's misbehaving and my job is to help you help your son have some problems.

Because your son is being taken care of by his trust fund daddy. And in a sense, Susan, I know you're a kind, sweet person. I can hear it in your voice and the way you've described this. I want somehow someone in your husband's life to help him have some problems that gets him off his butt. Yeah, we have kind of a blessing and kind of a curse for his parents who have both passed away during this whole thing they left him money and they were helping support us during the earlier parts of his unemployment so he doesn't see a need to get something or we're going to be on the street here's the problem here's the problem and i'll say what john's getting to say ahead of him because i know what he's going to say. You're losing respect for your husband.

Yes. And it's going to cost you your marriage. It could. And he needs to know that. He doesn't believe that, and he doesn't know that. Because this isn't about resumes. This is not about what mom left us or dad left us in the trust fund. It's about none of that.

This is you having the courage to say after 10 years, I do not respect the man that I share a bed with. And he has a right, I believe, to know that. And it's about contribution and purpose. Yeah, and it's taking us down a road that I don't want to go down, honey, which is that we're not going to end up married. And so we're going to go down, honey, which is that we're not going to end up married. And so we're going to go see a marriage counselor,

and you're going to go get a job doing something in the next 30 days, or you are contributing to the end of our marriage. That's what a marriage counselor is going to teach you to say. We're not telling you to say. I've taken say two marriage counselors and it has not been successful but maybe we need another person yeah you need somebody to get up and consult yeah i've even consulted a lawyer and i found that i would have to pay him alimony yep despite putting him through two graduate degrees because he went back during this got another graduate degree at very little cost because i happened to work where he got the degree. I hate this for you.

I hate this for you. You shouldn't be this way. It's not right. It's wrong. But it's not going to get better until someone moves him. He's stuck. And somebody's going to have to love him enough to knock him out of the ditch because he ain't climbing out.

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you can spend less time looking backward and more time focusing on what's next. And speaking of what's next, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com slash Ramsey. It's free at netsuite.com slash Ramsey. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Judy is in Los Angeles. Hi, Judy. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. I am a long-time listener and a first-time caller.

Okay. I'm on Baby Step 6, and I listen to your show all the the time and you recommend never to co-sign for someone. But I'm in the situation where I do want to co-sign for somebody under a certain circumstance. So my husband's cousin, first cousin, she's been on Section 8. Anyway, she lost that. Now she's in her 60s. She needs to get an apartment. There's a special needs trust that her parents have set up for her.

And in order for her to get into an apartment, she needs to have someone co-sign. Or her brother, who is the trustee, refused to do so. And I was wondering, can I... Warning, warning, warning. Why would her her brother who loves her more than you do he's her brother for god's sakes not want to co-sign he he doesn't love her oh yeah she doesn't mind if she goes home yes no that's true i don't believe it is totally true it's from a very dysfunctional family. He's not willing. His wife is telling me he's willing to let her go homeless if they have to. There is more to this story than you are telling or believing. Well, she has a problem.

She has personality disorder. Oh, okay. That's right. She's in her 60s. She's never worked in her life. She always did Section 8. She's in her 60s. She's never worked in her life. She always did Section 8. She lost that. Who is the custodian of this, of the Special Needs Trust?

Her brother. Her brother. So will you have access to the funds for this apartment, or does she have access to the funds? Right. So what I'm going to ask, if it's okay, if that works, if you agree that it's the right thing for me to do. No, it's not.

So I can try to ask the brother for 14 months of pay in an account to me, and then I will transfer that to her monthly. Is that okay? If funding is available for a whole year, is it safe for me to co-sign? I wouldn't. What if she trashes the place she well she won't trash the place but she might you know uh no she's not like that but she will she might have trouble with neighbors that's the only that's the kind of problem she has or gets kicked out or there's four has four people over or get sweet talking people over she'll just like she loves cats she'll probably you know take care break all the rules

rules don't apply to her rules don't apply to her yeah and judy we're gonna tell you no if this money's available then she can get the apartment under her name you can write the checks every month for her if she can't do that that's fine but you don't need a co-sign but how do i prove to the apartment people that there's money available well you would have to have the money available yeah print off a statement yeah and i show do i show them what what do i do because we're in california there's a lot of these places and i don't live in the same town as she does so it's not easy for me to like take her somewhere and talk to someone you know well you get on the phone with the apartment manager

and you say, this is what's going on. She has a special needs trust. Brother's going to send you documentation. He's going to end the documentation, send it to the property manager and say, we'll set aside the first 14 months and go ahead and just prepay the rent for 14 months. That's fine too.

Oh, just prepay. Yeah, but you don't co-sign. And they're going to try to get you to cosign. Because you have a blind spot here, kiddo. This lady is, she's gotten a hold of your heart, and she's sweet, and she does need someone to help her, but we

need to define help very carefully. Help involves her behaving. And you're not willing to make that requirement, nor can you make that guarantee based on her 60 years of misbehavior right you're going to get screwed if you do this please don't do it okay it's going to go up in flames okay so i told the apartment that i have money but i need to show some proof, right, that they're

trust. Yeah, the brother's going to have to send documentation. Yeah, and by the way, you don't have this money, Judy. You still have to go through a guy that you say doesn't even love her, doesn't care about her, doesn't care if she ends up on the street. Right? So all of this is like two hypotheticals removed from reality. And let me help you with this, okay?

It's not that he doesn't love her. It's from the 16 times he tried to help her, and it burned him. And he's done being burned, so he's putting up a boundary. That's different than not loving. And you're calling it not love in a dysfunctional family. I'm calling her a dysfunctional person who needs love and help, but has burned everything around her to the ground to the point her own brother won't help her you can't put that on him i'm not going to let you do it yeah i don't even

know him and i'm not going to let he's not the jerk in this story okay and there's not a jerk in this story there's a sad lady with mental illness and you're going to get burned to the ground when her mental illness activates if you're signed on the documents yeah i don't sign just i don't know an apartment complex it won't take your check if if you got it so if they won't take your money so she can get her own place listen i'm a landlord if i know what's going on here i'm not putting her in there that's fair that's fair because prepaying the rent ain't half my problem it's the 93 cats that end up in my building right or all the neighbors or whatever or she burns the neighbor's cat live in the front yard i don't know what's going to happen here i don't know i don't know what's going on with her no i don't

want her as a tenant under any circumstances co-signer prepaid double paid no thank you yeah life's too short to sign up for drama as a landlord so that's what you're gonna that's what you're gonna face on more than anything else so So you're please, honey, don't, don't confuse this. And you you're trying to do a nice, good, noble thing in a really, um, naive and unwise way. That was, that was kind. Yeah. That's the best way to say it. And I think this is a bigger conversation, Dave, when you want to help somebody and you get all these scenarios in your mind, and then you spend all these nights and weeks worrying about it, all of this phone call could have been already headed off.

You could have already sat down with your brother. You could have already called an apartment complex and taken all these worrying variables off the table so that you know, okay, here's the final step here. And you probably would have found out a long time ago, you either don't need to be a cosigner or nobody's going to let her live there you're going to come up with another option right but there's always like well then i might do this and then after that i'm gonna do you don't even know if all this is is going to happen and you're so spun up

about it just go find out i find out i co-signed for stuff when i was young and foolish and i ended up paying it one poor guy co-signed for me. I went bankrupt. He ended up paying it. I had to go back and pay him later. His wife still don't like me. Yeah. 35 years later. So it's okay. It's valid.

I mean, she got screwed. They didn't ultimately get it, but I mean, she thought she did. And so I get it. I completely get it. Proverbs 17, 18 says in the Scripture, one lacking in sense co-signs for another. When I co-signed, Judy, I was lacking in sense. If you cosign this, the Bible says you're lacking in sense.

I didn't say it. Get mad at God. Don't do it. That was pretty good. I mean, you kind of brought the Bible out, so there you go. There we go. Brought the Bible out. Yeah, that's the final right there.

That's the final one. That's the one. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Kim is in New York. Hi, Kim. How are you? Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? So I wanted to know how to save money for a mortgage on payment while you're paying the rent. Very hard. It is. Yeah. How much debt have you got? I can go through the numbers and I can tell you. No, just how much debt have you got? Just give

me the total. I want to say about $40,000. How much of that's your car? Well, to me and my husband together, it's about, he owes, I owe $16,000 and he owes about he owes about 20. Okay. How much is the car? My car total with the insurance, insurance or just the car? No, the debt on the car. How much debt is on the car? About 16. Okay. Of your 40. Yeah, of your 40. So half of it's your car. Okay. So here's the simple answer, but it's not a simple answer, is when you don't have any debt payments, you'll have more room in your budget.

So before you start worrying about saving for a down payment on a house, let's clear the debt off. That may mean selling a car. It may mean taking an extra job. It will mean not eating out. It will mean not going on vacation so that I can get out of debt. Because if you didn't have any payments, oh, you'd have money to save for your down payment. That's where it comes from.

Your most powerful wealth-building tool is your income. Don't give it to somebody else, and then you'll have it to save for a down payment. Simple but hard. This is The Ramsey Show. Okay, here's the hard truth. Your investment dollars could be winding up in the pockets of companies that hold positions you don't agree with. People are unknowingly putting money into tech giants and household brands that don't

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prospectus or summary prospectus available at timothyplan.com. Read carefully before investing. Mutual funds distributed by Timothy Partners LTD and ETFs distributed by Forsyth Fund Services LLC. Ah, there's a money and marriage date night virtual event. Two-hour event hosted by Rachel Cruz andz and our own dr john deloney will will feature a lot of incredible parts of our money and marriage getaway they're going to be diving into real topics like goal setting budgeting sounds like a date night to me gosh you guys are a couple of romantics when i think about

like growing up in your house i can that's what it feels like you know what? We never had a single budget committee meeting with the children. I'm just saying. All right. There will also be a Q&A, so Rachel and John can answer your questions live. This is happening October 29th. You can attend from anywhere from the comfort of your own living room.

You don't want to miss this one night to refresh your connection and communication. It's $ bucks is all. It goes up after October 6th, a couple of weeks from now. You can get your tickets at ramseysolutions.com slash events, money, and marriage date night virtual from your home on October 29th. John, you and Rachel, let me tell you, guys, if you don't know, the two of them just sitting back here in the office are a riot. And then we put on a microphone and add a little adrenaline to it. Just for you guys, there are definitely two riots looking for a place to happen. And so it's worth the energy.

If you just like good comedy, you will enjoy this because they're a lot of fun, both of them. They're both very quick-witted. Very opinionated. And very opinionated, and they're right, and all that. She's not always right, Dave. They'll help you. No, she's definitely not always right. But just thinking about, oh, well.

Anyway, yeah, so Rachel Cruz, my daughter, and Dr. John Deloney, October the 29th, only $39. Ticket prices will go up soon. Go to ramseysolutions.com slash events. It is a money and marriage date night. There will be serious stuff. I'm not, I don't want to overstate the comedy part. It's a very serious topic.

They're going to go through the details. They're going to give you something for your money, give you something for your marriage, and give you something for both of those things working together. Don't miss it. David is in Knoxville. Hi, David. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hello. Hi. What's up? Well, my financial advisor has recommended that we shift. I mean, we have historically just invested in mutual funds, as you've recommended, but that we shift some money to a separate managed account. And just kind of wanted your opinion on that. Well, a managed account in financial advisors' parlance is mutual funds.

Well, some of this was individual stocks. Okay. Well, you can do that in a managed account. Well, some of this was individual stocks. Okay. Well, you can do that in a managed account. Well, that was... Yeah, I would not do that. I do not do that. And I know more about individual stocks than your financial advisor does. So...

Right. And I'm not doing that. So, no thank you. But a managed account, most of the... Under the new fiduciary rules that came out about three years ago, ERISA just and the SEC just tore up that industry. And so most of the accounts are now managed accounts, meaning you pay like one percent of the portfolio a year and they manage the entire portfolio. And it can be a portfolio of mutual funds. And that's what most of our uh smart investor

pros use now now we do not recommend using uh single stocks in that but you can use that approach for mutual funds only is my point okay so um but you know let me let me tell you the downside and i'm i'm being critical because and i don't know guy, so I could be overstating this. When a financial advisor says he can manage stocks better than a billion-dollar mutual fund can manage the exact same stocks inside the mutual fund, that screams of arrogance to me. Right. Again, I know enough about it that I could easily make that case

that I was going to do that, but all the data and all the research that I have says I will not outperform the mutual fund with my little single stock portfolio with my little mute with my little financial advisor in Knoxville Tennessee as my as my stock picker no thank you I'll pass but if he wants to do the other stuff and I would be worried about that in terms of your relationship with him personally but but if he wants to do the other stuff, and I would be worried about that in terms of your relationship with him personally. But if he wants to run mutual funds, my guy runs managed accounts. I don't personally do that with mine because I'm old school and I've got all my stuff set up.

But all my kids run managed accounts with our local SmartVestor Pro. But it's all mutual funds in there is it a red flag if you get an out of the blue call from your advisor saying hey we need to i'm recommending we move it all to x y z because the the the word on the street is that a managed care managed account yeah managed account advisor will move you to packages where there's some sort of kickback or they get an extra incentive to do so kind of like on a lot. So if they call you. They can do that.

And some of them will. But it is a red flag if somebody starts moving big chunks around. Because it says that the original thing that they believe they no longer believe. So this is a philosophical statement sometimes. Yeah, it is. Okay. All right. It is.

There's something new that beats all of the data that we have. And first, you know, I don't believe it. Okay. All right. It is. It's, it's, um, there's something new that beats all of the data that we have. And I, first, you know, I don't believe it. Okay. Yeah. So, um, you know, all the data that we have, the average person buying and selling stocks on their own account with their own financial advisor loses money. You can't compete. They lose money. They not only don't make money, they lose money on average. That's the data. That's actual research. And so years ago, the Wall Street Journal did a funny article that they actually did this. They took, the problem is the lack of diversification.

Because you're picking seven stocks instead of 90 to 200. Mutual fund has 90 to 200 stocks in it, which gives you a lot of safety. Versus if you've got to pick five or three, you're betting the farm on a very narrow ledge here. Okay? So they actually took a monkey and blindfolded the monkey and gave it darts and it threw it at the wall and hit stocks. And they picked those stocks and then they gave the stock pickers the right to go pick any three stocks they wanted to pick and come back 18 months later the blindfolded monkey beat most of them point being not that the guys are stupid

these are smart people picking these stocks but when you can only pick three and a mutual fund can have 90 to 200 your safety level goes away you lose all the power of diversification and uh there's an arrogance to it that says i can pick the stocks better than a guy running an american funds or a fidelity or a whatever name whatever big well now it's you sitting in your house thinking or some guy thinking i can beat these supercomputers with all the ai tech like you can't you can't exactly exactly so the thing is yeah that you know like for instance in a mutual fund they'll have um a whole team of researchers right you have one guy or gal that comes to work in a car longer than your house and their only job is to study every detail of the automotive industry all day

long for the last 25 years but they've sent some some guy who lives in South Africa for two years in a mine talking to the transactions. You can't beat that. And you're going to compete with that with your guy in Knoxville, Tennessee. No, you're not. Or Nashville, Tennessee, or Los Angeles, or New York. So because of the specialization of that, the nuances of that, that guy knows more about the automotive industry than I know. I mean, he I mean, he, he's going to pick a better automotive stock and know when to get in and out of Ford based on EVs or whether or not Tesla is going to burn up or not

literally metaphorically or whatever. And so, you know, all of that, he's got, he's got his finger on all that. And, you know, so the mutual funds are just, they've got the best people on the planet and they've got a track record and that shows it and they've got some they've got some a net they've got that you can spread it out yeah it's spread out spread your portions to seven yes to eight for disaster may come upon the land ecclesiastes all right freedom and you're dropping bible all day today freedom like you've been on a bible trip for the last three weeks almost did yeah phoenix arizona freedom's with us hi freedom oh nope you're not with us at all because we're going into a break see what happens when you don't

when you don't work for a while you don't even know where your commercial breaks are that's how that works all right it feels like we're driving and i'm talking to my friend and you're just looking straight over at the exit no you're just looking right at the passenger and you know the passenger's like hey look we're red light red light red light you're just talking all excited quoting scriptures here it comes here it comes dropping ecclesiastes right in there heading straight into commercial break this is the ramsey show i've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I've taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible, are people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly, and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I going to pay my bills in the middle of all that grief,

it's terrible. So life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids, that I'm so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You've got to say it out loud, and you've got to say,

I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of a stinking pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282, or go to zander.com. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Today's question of the day is brought to you by Y-Refi. 93% of undergraduate private student loans are co-signed. So when you are delinquent, Nana or Uncle Joe is drowning with you. But there is a way out. Why refi refinances defaulted private student loans other places won't touch. And they give you a low fixed rate loan built for you. Go to why refi dotcom slash Ramsey today. That's the letter Y, R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey might not be available in all states. All right, today's question comes from Courtney in Washington.

Courtney writes, I'm 23 and I've been married for one year. Last night he admitted to me that I'm assuming husband. My husband admitted to me that I'm better with money, meaning I don't like debt and that he spends more than he makes. He gave me his credit card and debit card to hold and asked me to give him an allowance for necessary purchases. He has a bad habit of using credit payment plans and buying too many toys. I don't like the idea of holding his cards and controlling his actions. I understand accountability partnership,

but I believe putting limitations on a full grown man will lead lead to resentment our marriage even if he asked for it is his asking me to hold his cards reasonable if i do hold his cards for a period what can i do to make those spending habits stay gone how do you get so wise at 23 years old courtney you are courtney it's not about saying the same thing man touchdown who is this person it is this person? It's amazing. Wow. So, hey, I want to give, I had this exact conversation. I was probably 26, maybe 25. Like, I see the trajectory. I see the things that plagued my family growing up.

And I'm on the track. And it was kind of like, I need you to drive. Now, in retrospect, I understand that that started a power struggle between me and my wife that lasted years and years and years. And so I'm happy for this dude that he was like, hey, I'm not doing this right. I like his humility. Yes, there you go. That's the beginning of repentance. But you've got to do this thing together.

You've just got to do it together. Yeah. Yeah, I'll start with that. What do you think, man? I think it's exactly right. I mean, she's on to something here. She doesn't want to be his mommy. His mom, that's it.

She wants to be his wife. And by the way, husbands, it is very hard for your mom to be romantically interested in you. And when you expect your wife to mother you, it does something to the desire and eros in your home. Don't do that. Right? Work together. He can, A, cut up the credit card and put his debit card in a drawer and get cash carry that around and the two of you start doing a budget together and you

pinky swear and spit shake that that's a contract and i'm sticking to this and that's my accountability we are going to work together not uh because no one should be doing it by themselves that's right or he can um he can text you and you every time he feels like making a purchase, just as a way to extend the gap. No, if it's in the budget, you can make the purchase. No, no, no, but when he's about to impulse buy, not in the budget. You can't buy it if it's not in the budget. No, no, I just want him to identify, oh, I'm about to do something stupid.

And it's just extending that gap between stimulus and response. You can do some of those kind of things. I did hand, hand i make here's the deal it's about putting in um hurdles but yeah i love her sense that she already feels like hey i'm gonna end up as mom i don't like this yeah now that's very wise way ahead yeah the answer is no i'm not gonna take this over for you but yes we're gonna work together and yes as two grown-ups we're going to agree on a plan that serves our future and serves our present and serves our household and serves our marriage and serves our household and serves our

marriage and then we're going to stick to that plan as two adults and when one of us that has an inner child wakes up and wants to go crazy at costco you have to stick to the plan that's right because there's hell to pay if you don't stick to the plan right and define what hell is right hell is you go home and you didn't stick to the plan and your spouse is not going to be happy with you. And I think it's an important call. I have told people just give your credit card or give your debit card to your spouse. I was wrong on that. I don't think that's wise. I think what's wiser is if you can't control it, then let's cut up both cards and you carry cash for a while. And if you go get one reissued when you're ready. Well, here's the thing. What you need is a reason to

control it. When you have no boundary right nothing is written down then everything's okay right and that includes you know the 92 gallon thing of mustard at costco which everyone needs we know that drama must apparently because you can get it on a two-wheeler right and so uh you know but we impulse stupid butt stuff mainly because we don't have, A, any price to pay if we do it, and B, there was nothing in line before we got there. It's like I used to tell my kids, you know, about premarital sex. I said, okay, we're going to sit down and we're going to have a discussion before you end up in the backseat. Because if you don't decide before you end up in the back seat it's over when you get to the back seat that's right so you got to decide before you get to costco what you're going to spend and

i'm not against costco i like costco we're actually an endorser of theirs but uh you know before you get to the restaurant before you get to whatever and so you don't come home with a new bass boat and go look what i did honey can i tell you as you as a former impulse buyer, just a clicker and buyer. I am too. I have to deal with the fact that I was creating a life where I wasn't very alive. Yeah. And if it wasn't that I was flipping channels, it was just a kind of life. Yeah.

Well, it's dull. It's dull. And when I address that, how can I inject some life into my life? Dude, I don't think about it that often. I remember the first time I went to Sam's and got out without buying anything. I thought it was like a spiritual victory. I know. Dave's out in the parking lot.

I'm like, woo-hoo! I did it! I got in and out and didn't buy anything! Hey, if we're celebrating, I went into Home Depot the other day, didn't have what I wanted, and I walked out and didn't buy one thing. You didn't even buy a tool? That was huge huge that's a breakthrough that's a breakthrough john i'm proud of you it was good my name is john and i like tools yeah um yeah the that's the thing guys so but when you have a plan and here's what changed it for me it's like okay i want a good

future i want a good marriage i want to be in agreement with my spouse more than anything Costco has. That's the key. And when it's written down and I made a promise, I can't break my promise. And if you're getting itchy. I don't get itchy to break my promise. Underneath the itch. It doesn't come up. I really don't.

Now, if I get itchy, I just go, I can't do it. It's not in the plan. Yeah. I got to go do something else. Because the plan supersedes the itch. I like it. You know, the contract with my wife, the word I got to go do something else. Because the plan supersedes the itch. I like it. You know, the contract with my wife, the word I gave to her that this is what we're going

to spend our money on so that we freaking have a future. That's it. Now, that contract means a whole lot more than that stupid item. That's it. But you don't have anything to gauge that item against like that boundary. And then all is fair. You just buy everything yep and the same thing's true your stupid amazon button click click click click click submit submit

submit empty the cart into your dadgum front porch and there's nothing in your life that's telling you no there's no budget there's no plan there's you know i can just go make some more money. I'll out earn my stupidity. Submit, submit, submit. Isn't it interesting that the word is submit? Yeah. I mean, it's a good little wink. Bow down. Bow down deeply and submit to the Amazon God. There's a great Instagram reel where there's a guy watching his wife and she's doing yard

work or something and it just is it's slowly panning and he said my goodness i won the lottery with the most amazing hard-working beautiful and it pans to the front porch and she's stacked up with boxes and he's like good god that's pretty good yeah it was pretty great it's good so yeah courtney kudos to you at 23 to grasp both of very very good concept. Humility and wisdom already in this young marriage. Kudos to him for being humble enough to go. At 23, man, that's a big manly thing to do to say I can't do this by myself because a lot of 23-year-olds desperately don't want to look like a little boy.

And he walked in there like a man and said, I need some help. And he did the wrong thing. And you got onto that. But he did it for the right reasons. And you guys have the ingredients of an incredibly powerful marriage that becomes very wealthy. And you've got it at a young age. So congratulations. That's a great question.

Really, really good. So learning to work together. And I got to tell you, there's certain segments of our culture, certain demographics, certain races, certain things where it's not unusual that mama pays the bills and daddy brings home the bacon. And I'm stepping all in that stuff for some of you because you watched your mama do it. It doesn't mean it's right. Or the other side, daddy does it all, mama doesn't ask any questions, right? Sharon kind of had the, I called it Scarlett O'Hara syndrome. It's like, do whatever you want to do, honey.

And if the children don't have clothes, we'll just use the drapery. It's like, remember Scarlett made stuff out of the drapery. You've got to work together. Remember, Scarlett made stuff out of the drape, Sean. You've got to work together. Scarlett O'Hara syndrome. There it is. Got to work together. This is The Ramsey Show. Do you ever feel like you're finally making progress towards your goals

only to get quickly distracted by something else in your feed? Well, that's why we created the Ramsey Network app, your single source for content that keeps you motivated. The Ramsey Network app is designed to keep you laser focused on reaching your goals. Loaded with over 7,000 hours of Ramsey shows, this free app is the best place for uninterrupted content and no distractions. Plus, you can search specific questions to get more personalized content in seconds. So for the days you need some extra motivation, you'll have proven advice at your fingertips. It's time to get serious about your goals and shut out the distractions

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Freedom is with us in Phoenix, Arizona. Hi, Freedom. How are you? I'm, Freedom. How are you? I'm pretty good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? I am a baby brand new business owner. I opened up a concrete company and I was just wondering if I should finance a work truck or some heavy equipment, or if I should just keep grinding and little by little and pay for it by cash. Okay.

Well, Freedom, if you listen to the show much, you know we tell people not to borrow money and we don't borrow money. You already knew that before you called, right? Yes, sir. Okay. And I run a business. I run a business called Ramsey Solutions that started on my card table 32 years ago in my living room.

And we're sitting in a building and a campus that's worth somewhere around $600 million, and we have never borrowed a dime over that 30 years. We've just taken our profits and reinvested and hustled and grinded just taken our profits and reinvested and hustled and grind and taken our profits and reinvested the benefits of that the downside of that is everything goes slower the benefit is you don't have to do it over because you don't crash every three years every time something goes upside down and so i don't i don't take many steps backwards all my steps are forward because i don't borrow money and so i never get pinched covid comes along i didn't get pinched i

have no debt and a pile of cash i didn't get pinched other people doing what i'm doing are out of business because they couldn't cash flow their payroll when the government shut them down okay and so you got to pay those payments on that bulldozer dude whether you can use it or not because well i was going to say weather but in phoenix there's no issue but yeah it's not like it's going to be a rain problem for you but anyway the uh but yeah something else happens um goes sideways and maybe a presidential election and the market slowed down or something and you couldn't get work you got to pay the payments anyway on that dozer and it'll take you down so i would tell you to grow slower and more sure-footed some people would call it sustainable and i would just use your your name as my guidance i don't

want to give up my freedom i don't but it's frustrating as a business owner, I will tell you. There's been times over the years that I wanted to do something that I really, really, really thought was a good idea business-wise, and I didn't have the money. Mm-hmm. And I couldn't do it because I don't borrow money. But then something come along six months later that'll make me know, oh, that's why I wasn't able to do that. I would have been up a dadgum creek if I'd have done that. And the other thing that happens when you borrow

money in business, how long you been doing this? Concrete, I just opened it up like a month ago. Okay. So you got a lot of energy and enthusiasm right now, right? Yes, but I'm very, I'm starting to get a little discouraged because it is just me. I'm just a one-man guy trying to do a two-man job. That's the hardest part of business until you get it up. You get up to about 10 people where other people are doing some of the work. It's nice. I'll tell you ahead of time.

But even borrowing money into that won't work because you'll go sideways. So here's what happens. Let me ask you this. As an entrepreneur, I'm a fellow entrepreneur. Every morning when I take my dog for a walk on the golf course, every morning when you take a shower, those of us that are entrepreneurs have 600 or 700 ideas by the time we get to work. I got an idea a minute. Do you?

Every hour. Okay. There you go. All right. every every hour okay there you go all right so i can tell you from 30 years of doing this that 90 of my brilliant early morning cup of coffee ideas when implemented suck i have survived in business 90 of my ideas i've made everything that you've heard of dave ramsey all the money all the brand recognition all the celebrity or whatever it is you want to call this crap that I do. I've done all of it on about 10% of ideas.

You guys all know me for the 10% that worked. If I had borrowed money on the 90% that didn't work, I would be buried in bankruptcy many times over. Because when you borrow money, you magnify your stupidity. And that's what's coming. So please, I'm giving you my best sales pitch. I bought it. I bought it.

Please don't give up your freedom. Please move a little slower. Go make you some money. Bust it. Bust it. Bust it. Get you some hires where you're not doing it by yourself, get you a piece, rent a piece of equipment, turn it back in, rent a piece of equipment, turn it back in, and then go buy you a used one that the guy who went into debt had to

turn into the repo lot and go buy it off the, go buy you a used one off the repo lot for the last guy that thought he had a great idea in your world. And it's everything, man. It's everything. It changes. 80% of small businesses fail in the first five years, and the number one reason for failure, they say, is cash flow. Cash flow is starved by two possible things in small business, not paying your freaking taxes and setting your sales tax aside and going in debt and having payments when you have payments and no revenue that's called cash flow problems and you go out of business it returns your dream into a nightmare i think the best um i as i travel

around the country the last four or five years in meeting small business owners especially we see them all the time with all the time entree leadership i i to a person who runs their business like this there's this um it's the it's the bubblegum shrimp scenario that when they don't have any payments something comes along as a storm of some sort and they're the only boat left in the harbor and they get all of it right yeah um we we have entree leaders come up for special luncheons up here sometime and i just hear it over and over we're the only ones in my neighborhood or my city that made it through covid on this particular weird little niche and now we have all the market share well and you got all the their employees that's we got everybody we got all the expertise

pick the that's right best ones we got we buy their equipment at pennies on the dollar so you it's like you drive a minivan minivan yeah i've done it over and over and over again over the years and and you know the fastest way to get rich quick is don't is don't yeah and but there's there's a moment you just show up and show up and show up and then a moment happens and you're the right place but it is frustrating so frustrating it's frustrating because there's something in front of you and everything in your brain says it's going to work and something in front of you and everything in your brain says it's going to work and you got to try it and you got to try it. And only after it doesn't work, do you know why it didn't work.

Yeah. And so you don't know what you don't know. And when you borrow into it, you magnify your stupidity. I've been so tempted so many times. I could tell you 25 stories, but I don't have time of times that I, I really, really. And then eight months later I go oh well there you go god protected me again i thought i was going to go down and god just because i always just say all right god if you want me to do this you got to send some money because i don't have any you got

and if he doesn't send money i figure he don't want me to do it yeah that's a person of faith if you don't if you're not a person of faith, you don't have that option. You're just kind of yelling at the sky at that point. But in my case, I truly believe God owns this, and I truly believe if he wants us to have a computer, he'll give us the money to buy the computer. He wants us to have a building, he'll give us the money to buy the building, a bulldozer, whatever it is.

And until he does, something's not right. Something's not aligned yet. And I'm waiting on that frustrates the crud out of me because I really do want to be God and it's his job. This is the Ramsey show. This show is sponsored by better help. This is the season for Halloween. It's October. We're wearing costumes and we're wearing masks. So if you haven't started planning your costume yet, get on it. And while you're thinking about it, I want you to be honest. A lot of us hide ourselves. We hide our true selves behind costumes and masks all the time.

We do this at work. We do this around our friends. We do this around our families. We even do this when we look at ourselves in the mirror. I know because I've been there multiple times in my life and it's the worst. If you feel like you're stuck hiding behind masks and costumes all the time, if you find yourself hiding from your true self, I want you to consider talking with a therapist. Therapy is a place where you can be honest, where you can talk

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so it's convenient for you and your schedule. Just fill out a short online survey and you'll be matched with a licensed therapist. Plus, you can switch therapist at any time for no additional cost. Take off the costumes and take off the mask with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Diloni to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash Diloni. Hey, good folks, Dr. John Deloney here. Don't you think life is too short to hate Mondays? Listen, you're worth loving the work you do and where you do it. So guess what? Ramsey Solutions is hiring. If you're ready to join an

amazing team that's all about changing lives and spreading hope, we want to see your application. Right now, we're hiring for technology, sales, marketing, writing, copy editing, and creative roles. Check out all our job postings at ramseysolutions.com slash careers. That's ramseysolutions.com slash careers. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. The best way to win at something is to do it on purpose. Very few times do people accidentally win. You don't accidentally become wealthy.

You execute a plan step-by-step over a period of time. You don't accidentally have a good marriage. You execute a plan step-by-step over time. You don't accidentally raise great kids. It doesn't happen. It's a process. It's an intentional act, this thing called success. And the best way to make the most of your money is by creating and sticking to a plan, a monthly budget. Every dollar, the world's best budgeting app, makes it simple to plan your spending track your expenses follow the baby steps plan out every

paycheck be in agreement with your spouse get out of debt we teach you how to do every bit of it download every dollar for free in the app store or google play and click the link in the description if you're listening to youtube or a podcast finn is in det. Hi, Finn. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thanks for having me. Sure. What's up? Yeah. So I'm 22.

I graduated a year early to not go into debt. I'm looking at a career change into counseling and psychology, so I'm looking at going to grad school for counseling work in clinical psychology. Right now, I have... Your career changed. Did you even start your other career? No, no. I was interested in... I'm a big photographer, so I was interested in photojournalism and realized that traveling around all the time wasn't that sustainable. Okay, so you got a degree currently in what?

Political science. Which has nothing to do with any of this, okay. Yep, yep, yep. All right. Yeah. All right, so you want to go, we need some more good mental health professionals, so good on you. So what are you thinking about doing? Yeah, yeah. So I'm interested in a master's in counseling or social work and have been considering the possibility of trying to get into a doctoral program in clinical psych because those are funded programs. Now, ultimately I need the background and the experience to get into those programs.

In the meantime, have been volunteering in psychology labs, but imagine that if i can get into a master's program i need the capital to be able to pay for that program um so right now i have about 22 000 saved where'd you get that um from saving them working throughout high school and college good for you man well done um what's. Well done. What's the master's cost? What's the master's cost? About $35,000 probably?

So depending on the program, you can go for $30,000, you can go for $50,000, you can go for $80,000. A program like University of Michigan costs $80,000 in-state, which is kind of crazy in my opinion. And then if you go for kind of a lesser-tiered program but you're still getting the letters next to your name, it can be between 30 and 40. Do you know where the woman that I see for a therapist, you know where she went to school? No. I have no idea.

None. Yeah. When I was at Belmont University, all the therapists who worked for me there, you know, they went to school. I don't know. They're amazing therapists. And so my guess is a school like University of Michigan is going to be very research heavy and it's probably funded. It's probably got a whole bunch of other steps to it.

If you want to go be a research psychologist and less about working with people and more about learning statistics and learning about people and spending your life in a lab be an amazing school to go to and you'll have to find out one of those funded phd programs if you want to just go be a social worker or clinical counselor in your local community which is an it's an amazing job dude go to the the best program in your community that you can afford and i strongly, see if you can get a job at the university because those almost always come with some sort of tuition discount. And even better, if you can get a job in residence life,

you get to live your mission. You get to work with all kinds of people going through all kinds of struggles and challenges. Nothing crazy like a crazy college student. It is wild. But that's when their family issues and their psychology issues and their emotional issues come up and addiction, all kinds of stuff um but also it comes with free housing too

so that's that'd be what i would recommend you do i want you to go to grad school that's what i did i love it and for my graduate counseling degree i found the partnership with university that would that would fund it and it was different than my other PhD that I paid for out of pocket and I borrowed out of pocket and it nearly buried yeah how would a university get you those kind of resources what are you looking

for in your situation I'm looking for any job I can get on a college campus that has a tuition reimbursement janitor yeah anything like you got you got RA yeah resident assistant in the dorm anything you can do if it gives if it gets you in their program and cuts the tuition in half and now you got 30 turning into 15 they're paying you and you've got 22 in the bank ding ding we're, we're done with the masters. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

And at this point, like in terms of investments on the site, I mean. No, the best investment you can make is you. It's you. Okay, gotcha. Because here's what I want you to do. And here's what you do with investments. You're looking for ROI. Sorry, John.

Go ahead. Yeah, what's the ROI on 80 grand versus 30 grand? That's what we're looking at. What's the return on investment okay john's telling you it's not there on the 80 yeah and he's got a phd in counseling you just called the right guy i have a phd in dumb you don't need my opinion but here's the other thing i want you to do i I want you to go through this program. I started with a very particular group of people that I wanted to work with.

I ended up in a radically different place because I had to do practicums and internships and I had different professors and I met different professionals along the way. If you get out and you owe $30,000 or $50, dollars and you know clinical counselors starting out don't make a ton of money then you are going to have to do not what you want to do what you are feel passionate about what you feel called to do you're gonna have to do whatever they tell you to do and i want you i want a world of therapists out there that are not beholden to a bank but are beholden to their communities that's what i really really want because they're free to help everybody and anybody not they have to they have to pay their bills first and that's heartbreaking for me okay yeah yeah so go get them in get that master's

degree just don't borrow money you seem like a person talking to you that 22 000 in the bank you ran that you ran this course already you You knocked out three years. You seem like a person that is very much a pragmatist, very practical in your view on things. I'm going to encourage you to lean into that. Everything we're telling you to do is right with who you already are. And shoot weddings on the side. Shoot weddings all weekend. You'll make cash.

Get your camera out, man. Go make some money. Shoot weddings all Saturdays, all Sundays, all Friday nights when you're in grad school, and just work, work, work, work, work. You'll get it out, man. Good make some money. Shoe weddings all Saturdays, all Sundays, all Friday nights when you're in grad school, and just work, work, work, work, work. You'll get it out, man. Good on you, dude. That's good.

That's excellent. You'll hear a lot of undergrads coming out with $22,000 in cash in the bank. That's fantastic. In three years. In three years, yeah. Knock it out. That's a hard worker. He did it to stay out of debt.

That's right. Yeah, I wanted out of school. Man, I'd go back tomorrow. I had no desire to stay. I mean, I was working 60 hours a week. All I wanted was out so I could focus on work. And, man, it was so hard. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

John, let's circle back because someone just tuned into this for the first time. John has a Ph.D. in phd in counseling a phd in higher ed and he was serving as dean of students several different universities when he came here okay he was at a local university is how we found him and we knew he could do this job and it's turned out into a massive hit and so uh he and i have had this discussion he's actually featured before we hired him in our documentary on student loan debt called Borrowed Future that you can watch for free now on YouTube. So John and I have had this discussion many times.

I have done, I've searched and searched and searched and searched and cannot find a single piece of research that is credible that says where you went to school is correlated with your level of success in any field the the the research that exists there talks about it's less about the institution and more about the people you who also go to that institution so the basically the research says if you can get into some of these top top top top top tier schools where you will benefit over the long haul is who your classmates are. Because they're going to go start businesses and they're going to go become these fans.

And they're going to call you because y'all are pals and you're buddies. And you call the guys that you know and you went to school with. But for 99% of us. The number of times that people say, I want a cancer doctor because he went to that school. That's it. For 99% of us. Almost zero. Get out untethered.

Please go to college. And I'm high on college. You know that, Dave. But go untethered. Please go to college, and I'm high on college. You know that, Dave. But go untethered. Get out so you don't owe anybody. I want a doctor that is not beholden to anyone but what is right. I want a therapist or a pastor who's not beholden to anybody but what is right. There it is. This is The Ramsey Show. You know my philosophy on planning and preparing. Being proactive is always better than being reactive. We have a provider we recommend that can help you stay prepared for unexpected medical situations. I have a medical emergency kit from the doctors at the wellness company.

And guys, let me tell you, you really should check this out. This is not a simple first aid kit. The medical emergency kit contains doctor-prescribed medicines to treat over 30 common and serious medical conditions. Ivermectin, the life-saving medicine. Generic Z-Pak to shorten the duration of colds and flu you feel coming on. Amoxicillin for infections, earaches, strep throat, and pneumonia, a medical emergency kit from the wellness company. It's like having an urgent care in your home. Order

100% online in minutes, then fill out the brief questionnaire in your email and your kit ships to your door. Visit UrgentCareKit.com slash Ramsey and use the promo code Ramsey for 15% off. That's promo code Ramsey at UrgentCareKit.com slash Ramsey. Hey folks, there's a lot of half-baked investing advice out there, but here's what you can do to get more confident about this stuff. Check out the SmartVestor program. SmartVestor connects you with local financial advisors who have the heart of a teacher. They'll help you level up your knowledge and build a retirement plan based on your goals, not theirs.

Go to RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor to get connected and get more confident about your plan. That's RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor. Ramsey Solutions is a paid, non-client promoter of participating pros. Learn more at RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Mercy is with us. Hi, Mercy. How are you? I'm doing good, Dave.

How are you? Better than I deserve. Where do you live? I live in Temple, Texas. Cool. Welcome to Nashville. Thank you. How much debt have you paid off, Mercy? I have paid off $18,000. Good for you. And how long did that take? It took me around nine months, Dave. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? $42,000. $42,000. Okay. And what kind of debt was the $18,000? That was my car, Dave. Yay! All right. Mercy, how old are you? I'm 29 years old.

Cool. And what is your country of origin? I hear an accent. Right. I was born and raised in Kenya, and I moved to the States three and a half years ago. Three and a half years ago. Yes, sir. And 18 months ago, half that time, you started working on getting, no, nine months ago, you started getting out of debt. You paid off $18,000 in debt. Yeah.

So how does a girl in Texas from Kenya run into the Ramsey stuff and decide to get out of debt? Yeah. So I joined the military last year, January. Thank you for your service. Thank you. And then I, my first duty station, Fort Cavazos, Texas, got there and needed a car and I did what I thought I should do. Got a card on payment. And then I think less than two weeks later, I ran into Rachel on Instagram and I liked her message so I looked into it and I found the Ramsey show and ever since that day I have not missed an episode so I just got fired up this is

how I was uh what you teach is really how I was raised like if you don't have the money you don't buy it so wait a minute they teach you common sense in Kenya wow yeah so I thought you know it just clicked and then the teachings from the bible as well so that resonated with me and I decided this debt had to go and then that's when I just started double the payments triple living on nothing rice and beans and on April 30th, I became debt-free. Way to go. I'm so proud of you. Thank you.

Who was cheering you on along the way? So my family in Kenya, my son Jeremy, my family, my American family in Colorado. And then after I became debt-free, I met my boyfriend, Tony, who's also doing the Dave Ramsey plan, and he has been cheering me on, Baby Step 3, and here we are today. All right. Very cool. Way to go, Tony. Good stuff. Good stuff. Okay, tell me how this thing works, because you're obviously, you've been here only three and a half years. You joined the military. How does that work with your citizenship? I don't know. So once you join, first of all, you acquire permanent residency.

And then that's when you're able to join and serve. And then through the military is when I got my citizenship last year in June. All right. Yes. Awesome. Wow. That's a good deal. Thank you.

Very cool. Good for you. I'm proud of you. How does it feel to be free again? It's weightless. I cannot explain it. Doing my budget every month and not seeing that extra payment that I would have paid the car dealership, it feels surreal. I have so much money. That $500 back is everything. My then I've also been able to, my sister and I are cash-lowing my grandmother's house in Kenya. So that has been a blessing. And my grandmother raised us after I lost my mom when I was 10.

And that has been, it's been a blessing. So you're able to buy her a house now? Yes, we're building a house. You're building it by cash? Yes. Okay. Yes. How long will it take to build it? Oh, we're building a house. You're building it by cash? Yes. Okay. Yes. How long will it take to build it?

Oh, we're almost done, actually. By December, she'll be in the house. And we started right before I became debt-free, and then it's been more money just chunked on it, yeah. How old is your grandmother? Close to 80. Wow. Yes.

You're special. Thank you even you're not even real mercy this is amazing this is so extraordinary um yeah i mean americans y'all gotta hear this she just traded an eighteen thousand dollar five hundred dollar car payment to and built her grandmother a house as a result in Kenya that's who raised her that you know that's hello that's legacy right there wow what's the picture what's the house so that's uh that was our whole house that's where you grew up that was that's what I grew up yeah okay I was I think built and now you built her a new house yes all right I'm so proud of you thank you you're. That's the new house.

Oh, wow. That's awesome. I want to live in that house. That's pretty great. Look at the roof on that. That's very cool. Those of you that aren't on YouTube, look deeply into your radio. Oh, my gosh.

So, Mercy. Mercy. I ran track in college, and the vast majority of my teammates were from kenya and it was two years you were the slowest guy on the team to call me mazungo yes by far so um there was this understanding they got here and there was so much opportunity and so much wide eyed and how much how can i participate right away right now and it feels like this idea that oh you can just get it all right now don't worry about it we'll get it later that got you the car payment but right so if you if you don't know if you don't know how insidious this stuff is

everything's shiny and new and this isn't just people who come from from other foreign countries this is all of us who are looking at our neighbors looking around we see these shiny new things and we get so taken with them that i want it right now and there's all these plans for oh that's a problem for future you right the you right now needs this right yeah what do you tell somebody that is just looking around seeing all this opportunity but they don't know that it's not really real right right so that's also a big thing that just not uh i think sacrifice for me would be the biggest one just knowing that you know what it's not when dave says you're driving and the guy the car next to you it's really nice and big and you want it but it's all payments so that that really i got it and i said i'm not going to feel jealous or want a life

that i cannot afford i will do this brick by brick and yeah so like you say we get here we're told you have to have a credit score you have to have a credit card and you know we all believe that until because they say that's the only way but no it's not the only way there's a better way you know mercy's a hero you know who the real hero is the grandmother that raised that i'm telling you the grandmother that created that i'm telling you me that woman that's who we need to get on the air it's really amazing oh my gosh this is wonderful do me and dave an honor yes can you do a debt-free scream in swahili this will be the first one ever yes and then you can

do one if you want to do another one English but if you want to do it I've never I've never had a Swahili free scream in a scream have we no for sure we haven't would you do that that would be amazing I would love that I would love to do both I'm so proud of you you're absolutely amazing I will tell you this before we do that that all the data that we have says that someone who comes to this country from another country legally i'm gonna i'm gonna pronunciate that care pronounce it carefully like she did comes here under the law you are four times more likely to become a millionaire than someone who is born in america there's a lot of supposition on why that might be so, but some of it is that you actually

appreciate the fact that we have freedom and opportunity and you're going to take advantage of it. And so you have a high likelihood, a much higher likelihood than maybe someone else that sits next to you there at the post becoming a millionaire because of what you're doing. And now add the Ramsey stuff to that, the debt-free stuff to that. Work ethic. This woman's going, oh, it's amazing. All right, Mercy from Temple, Texas.

What a story. $18,000 paid off in nine months, making $42,000 from Kenya. We're going to start it out with Swahili. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Tatu, Billy, Moja, Sina, Danny. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I love it.

Yeah. That was rad. Thank you for that. That was a gift to me. Thank you. Good call, John. Good call. All right. You want to do an American one, too? Yes, sir. All right. Let's do one English. English. All right. That was a gift to me. Thank you. Good call, John. Good call. All right, you want to do an American one, too?

Yes, sir. All right, let's do one English. English ding-dong. All right, here we go. All right. Three, two, one. I'm dead free! Wow!

Yeah, baby! Woo! Oh, and I built my grandmother a house, too. Wow! Amazing, Mercy. This my grandmother a house too. Wow. Amazing, Mercy. This is The Ramsey Show. If you own a small business and you like The Ramsey Show, then you're going to love the Entree Leadership Podcast.

Almost 200,000 listeners tune in every Monday to hear me take calls from real business leaders and give tactical advice based on my 30 years of experience leading. This is not a podcast about business theory. It's real insight from a practitioner who actually does this stuff. Find it anywhere you listen to podcasts, or if you're listening on YouTube or Podcast Now, just click the link in the description. For those of you on YouTube and on podcasts, this will be our last segment for the day. You can pick up the other segment that we're going to do on the Ramsey Network app, and you can join it for free. Just go to Ramsey Solutions or go to download the network app on apple or google play or whatever and you can join it free and you listen to all the whole show or you can listen the last

segment whatever you want to do it's all there for free from the ramsey network app you can also enter uh questions this question comes from the ramsey network app to ask a question without ever having to call in you can click the link in the show notes or download the app for free. Once you're in the app, you can navigate to the Ramsey show. Click ask a question and submit your question for the show. All right. The question is from Brianna says I was one month from my lease being up and I had to leave early due to a domestic violence incident. I notified the property management company and sent them the email with proof of the protection order. But just the other other day i went to check my credit and they put a four thousand dollar debt into collections i'm appealing it but if that doesn't work should i

just pay it okay um what what happened to you is wrong and horrible but it does not release you from a lease a protection order does not get you out of a lease you're you're appealing to their mercy at that point yeah if they want to let you out if you were working if you were one of my tenants i would let you out but you're you can't just send them the email and go i'm out it's not a get out of jail free card no pun intended um so you know you are liable for that last month i don't know how it got to four thousand dollars for one month you had one month left on the lease now they're going to four thousand dollars i'm not sure what flip were you renting but um or they added a bunch of fees yeah or something or maybe the bozo stayed behind torch the place i don't

know i don't know what happened here but you you are still liable, even though you had a protection order, even though you sent an email. That does not, this is not a one-way thing where you just go, oh, I'm out. No, you're not out unless they choose to let you out and they didn't respond. You don't have a response from them, or at least you didn't mention it if you do, saying we're going to let you go. If you've got that response, then you owe zero because they said we're going to let you go so that you're free but i don't think you got that i think you just sent this to them and you thought that got

you out that's the way this is worded anyway and it does not get you out i'm not an attorney but it doesn't get you out so um uh you know what i would do i don't know if you need to appeal it um i would just call the property management company. I'd go in person. If you're in the town, go over there and try to meet with a senior person and see if you can negotiate. You're going to have to pay some money because, you know, you just kind of walk.

You were in a horrible situation. You needed to leave. I'm not telling you you did something wrong, but the assumption that you made that it got you out of the lease was incorrect. Right. And so you're going to owe some money. Now you've got to go figure out what and what you can settle it for. If it's a $4,000 of legitimate charges or a bunch of them that are just beefed up or whatever,

you might settle it for that equal to that one month's rent. But you're going to end up paying something i think i don't think the judge is going to go oh well you had a protection order you don't have to honor your contract it's like saying i got a protection order so i have to pay my car payment no that's not how it works so uh sorry you know you're going to end up paying something brianna and i'm the sooner you can get to somebody and get a settlement negotiation begun, you're better off to do it in person, and you're better off to do it with the actual people, not the stupid lawyers.

But if you can get that pulled off, that's going to be your best route because you're not going to get out of Dodge on this without paying something. Joe's in Chesapeake, Virginia. Hi, Joe. How are you? Hey, Dave. How's it going? than i deserve what's up so uh beginning of this year we decided uh my wife and i decided to take our debt seriously and uh now we have paid off thirty thousand dollars in student loans and credit card debt good for you um mostly from my uh my job and i've been fixing and flipping

lawnmowers trucks equipment tractors all kinds of stuff cool how much money you made doing that um honestly normally about four to five thousand dollars a month wow good for you yeah you're good at this yeah i've been working working hard i'm i'm a caterpillar mechanic that's my career so um i just kind of you know buy buy what i can and fix it up well you know how to turn you know you know how to turn a wrench good for you man yes sir yep um my question is i'm i'm at the point where i need to start my uh my emergency fund three to six month emergency fund good and i've been looking at the high yield savings account and I see that the rate of return is the one I found that I applied for was 5.31%. My mortgage, I only owe 119 on it, the house that we built ourself. And the interest rate on that is 4.3%.

So my question is, why should I not just put all of my income into the high-yield savings account as long as the rate of return is greater than the interest owed? Because if you make 1% on $100,000, it's $1,000. You don't have a $1,000 problem. You have a $119,000 problem. The secret to paying off your mortgage is not making 1% spread on a high-yield savings account. The secret to paying off your mortgage is do what you did with the $30,000 and pay off your mortgage.

Okay. The actual math of this theory that you're running won't buy you a biscuit. Okay. That's what I'm saying. So you're making more money on tractors than you'll make on this in a week. Uh-huh. You follow me? Yes, sir. uh-huh you follow me yes sir if you got a hundred thousand at five percent and a hundred thousand

at four percent the spread is one percent one percent of one hundred thousand dollars is one thousand dollars per year you make that in a week flipping tractors okay so it's not it's not enough it's not enough to screw with it's so just pay off your mortgage get your emergency fund done and then go ahead and go through the baby steps four five and six So it's not enough to screw with. So just pay off your mortgage. Get your emergency fund done, and then go ahead and go through the baby steps four, five, and six, and you'll be in great shape, man. Yeah, and I like to take that $1,000 and divide it monthly. $83.

That's your sleep tax, and you'll more than make that back. $83 a month. To sleep deeper than you've ever slept in your life because nobody can take your house away. Yeah, Yeah. Just pay it off as fast as you can. Just nail it. Hammer. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Don't mess around with it. Don't play games. Good for you. Good question. All right. Sam's in Syracuse. Hi, Sam. How are you? I'm good, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hey, so I kind of, I feel like it's a dumb question, but... You're in the right place. A couple of dumb guys, we got you.

Hey, so I've been with my girlfriend now for almost a little over a year. I accumulated a large sum of debt before I, before I, uh, got with her while I was in the military and I want to move forward with our relationship. We've, we've discussed it for the last, you know, two months or so. Um, I have the money set aside for the ring. How much? I, uh, about 3,500 bucks. How much in debt do you have? I would say it's roughly around $50,000. And what's it on? It's a few things. So one of them is a credit

card which is $25,000. One is from a repo from a previous relationship. What do you make a year? I make about 65 a year, I would say. I pull in about 4,200. 26, okay. Almost like I've done this before. Okay. And you're saying you want to wait to get out of debt to get married?

And that's the thing. I've heard a few different answers to that question that I have. Unless they're this answer, they're wrong. The correct answer is get married. Okay. If you're pledged to get out of debt, and she's pledged to get out of debt with you, and you're aligned and in agreement on your money, get married. That's one of the big reasons why I fell in love with her. You know, I was very open and honest.

Don't tell her I think I've got $50,000. Tell her I have $49,462 in debt, and it's exactly this, and this is exactly what I'm going to do to get out because I'm the kind of man you want to marry because I'm getting this done. I'm a go-getter. That's who you need to be. Don't give me, I think I make, I think I'm in debt. Get it exact and kill it.

This is The Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time. Hey, you're still here? What are you doing? You do know that the rest of today's show is playing right now over on the Ramsey Network app, right? All you got to do to finish the episode is search Ramsey Network in the App Store, Google Play Store, or just click the link in the show notes to download the app for free. Yep, in the App Store, Google Play Store, or just click the link in the show notes to download the app for free. Yep, you heard me right, for free. Then right there on the home screen, you can watch the rest of today's show. Bada bing, bada boom. All right, I'm getting out of here. Enjoy. We'll see you on the app.