The Ramsey Show - When Are You Gonna Get Sick and Tired of Being Broke?

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

💵 Sign-up for EveryDollar today - The simplest way to budget for your life! Dave Ramsey & Ken Coleman answer your questions and discuss: "My sister wants to move in with me," "Should I buy a home... with my boyfriend?" "Should I take out a loan to buy a $1M business?" Using the "why" instead of the "what" to get your spouse on board with the Baby Steps, "Our bills tripled due to fraud by a family member," "How can we help our family living in poverty overseas?" Support Our Sponsors: NetSuite Zander Insurance BetterHelp Next Steps 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! 🏦 Take Your 3-Minute Money Assessment - Get a personalized money plan! 🍎 Enter the Teacher Appreciation Giveaway 🏠 Find a Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agent 🎟️ It's game on! Get your ticket for Total Money Makeover Weekend.  Listen to more from Ramsey Network 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of the book Paycheck to Purpose and host of the Ken Coleman Show is my co-host today. We're going to be talking to you about your life and your money and Ken especially talking about your work and how to get some done to make you some money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Linda is in Miami. Hi Linda. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, thanks for taking my call. Sure, what's up? So, my sister has been on probation from work for the past few months, and
Starting point is 00:01:16 she just told me this last week. So, it looks like she's going to be laid off or fired for poor performance, and she's called to let me know that she's going to be moving in with us. So this is not okay with me for several reasons, you know, financial boundaries, home dynamics, etc. So I don't know what to do. I mean, I feel really bad. She's my sister. I have an extra bedroom, but I don't really have the space or, you know, I'm in debt myself, so I can't take on another person. And so I'm just calling to get your advice. How old is she? Almost 60 or 59. 59? Yes. I thought you were going to say 19. So why can't she perform at work at 59 years old?
Starting point is 00:02:10 Well, I've seen this been coming for years. She's very unmotivated. She's smart. She has two master's degrees. She's got a six-figure job, but she's just let her life go downhill slowly, but surely, you know, her weight, her finances, her job performance. There is some prescription pain medications that come into play, which I think just that her motivation to perform well. But, you know, she's let this happen to herself and now I feel like I'm expected to solve her problem for her yeah and and so you and I both know that loving her well is not allowing her to continue on the path that she's on instead make her face down these demons and turn the corner on them right right exactly and so coming to hide in your spare bedroom is just enabling her
Starting point is 00:03:05 continuous right i agree i agree and just tell her that just tell her that i love you too much i don't care i love you too much to allow you to continue on this path or me to participate with you on you continuing on a path that is destructive to you you have refused to address your lack of motivation your painkiller addiction and your weight and you need to address those things and you can't hide in my spare bedroom and not address them because i love you so much okay and then she's going to be angry at you. Right. It's very predictable because she feels entitled to something that's not hers, your bedroom. So, and she's also kind of using that card because, you know, it was our family house. Well, I'll explain.
Starting point is 00:04:00 So I care for our elderly mother in my house, and in my mom's will, you know, is she gives us the house 50-50. But I'm explaining to her that upon my mother's death, that doesn't mean right now. So it's not your house. It's your mother's house. So I have to take out a mortgage on the house. No, it's your mother's house. Well, true, but I'm on the farm.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Is it in your name or your mother's name it is okay quit talking around the barn then it's your mother's house it's not your house okay but i'm on the deed so i don't that depends how'd you get on the deed well because i have to take a mortgage out on the um house to pay for my mother's caregiver and since my mother doesn't have a job, I had to get a mortgage. In order to get a mortgage, I had to get on a deed. Are you single? I am.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Okay. How old are you? I am 54. Okay. All right. Well, you're the owner of the house, then. Your name is on the deed. It's not your mother's house.
Starting point is 00:05:00 I was wrong. It's your house, okay? And your mother's. Okay. You and your mother own it together. Your sister is not on the deed. Correct. Okay, then she doesn't have any rights.
Starting point is 00:05:11 Morally, legally, ethically, emotionally, nothing. Now, the instant that your mother passes, you will be selling this house because you're going to be required to otherwise own half of it with said sister, and that ain't going to plan either. No. Yeah, no. So be ready to move. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Well, I'm hoping to get all my ducks in order. I've been listening to you nonstop, so hopefully I'll have a few years to get all my finances worked out. Okay, here's the thing. Yeah, I'd like to see it. There's a couple of basic Henry Cloud-type principles in here from the book Boundaries. Let's just recant them. I'm just channeling my inner Dr. John Deloney, Ken. And so I think the first principle is people who don't respect your boundaries
Starting point is 00:05:59 are always upset when you put a boundary in place. Yes, we've had that problem for years. So as soon as you say no, expect her to have a little duck fit on the floor. Okay. Just walking and flapping around and all that stuff that she does, okay? And then she's going to play the guilt trip card, and she's going to play all the cards that people play when they want something that's not theirs.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Right. She's telling me she's going to have to live in her car. Oh, bull crap. How about get motivated and get a job? Or how about just actually doing your work at your job so you don't get fired? If you're living in your car, sweetie, it's your fault. Right. Okay. So, and that's rule number one, okay, is that you set a boundary with boundary-less people.
Starting point is 00:06:40 They 100% of the time get upset. Right. You just always expect rule number two enablers are nice people that give drunks alcohol because they are too sweet to say no but it's not real love real love is i want you to have a better life, my sister. Living in this bedroom, hiding from reality, continuing to spiral downward is not good for you. I love you too much to let you live here. This is not about you in this discussion, Linda.
Starting point is 00:07:18 It's about her. I agree. I care too much about her to give a drunk a drink. To allow her to continue in a lazy, unmotivated, painkiller addicted, obese manner. Right. None of these things are good for you, sweetie. I love you too much. You're not addressing the stuff in your life and I'm not going to go there. What do you got, Ken?
Starting point is 00:07:40 I just hear a person, Linda, you're afraid of her, and there's some history behind that fear. And I think— Oh, she's your older sister. Yeah, she's the older sister. Am I right that there's some fear based on history? I don't have fear. I guess I feel sorry for her. It's kind of like something's turned, and I'm the bigger sister, and I care for my mother,
Starting point is 00:08:02 and I take on all the responsibilities, and I'm left to try to clear the responsibilities. Yeah, but my point is you're afraid of letting her down. You're afraid of this conflict. Like her future is on your shoulders. And here's what I'm going to tell you. Yeah, I do feel that way. I know. So here's what I would tell you. Everything Dave said, I rubber stamp.
Starting point is 00:08:16 But I would say this. You're going to have to choose today to focus your mind on how awful your life will be if you let her come back into it instead of focusing on how awful it's going to be when she throws her duck fit and I and Dave's right that's going to happen but I think you have to choose between the two evils and her being in your house is way more evil than you telling her grow up sis for her yes love her well enough to help her heal this is the ramsey show what does the future hold for business ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers economic growth or a recession business taxes will go up or down ai will help us work or it will replace us all. But there's no such thing as
Starting point is 00:09:06 a crystal ball. That's why more than 40,000 businesses have future-proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud enterprise resource planning system. Ramsey Solutions uses NetSuite and you should too. Whether your company's earning millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you respond to immediate challenges and seize your biggest opportunities. With one unified business management suite, there's only one source of truth for the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. NetSuite's real-time insights and forecasting help you see into the future with actionable data.
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Starting point is 00:10:16 Thank you for joining us, America. We're so glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Well, we are in a couple of weeks here on the 21st and 22nd. George Camel and I will be doing Dave Ramsey's Investing Essentials. We're going to go in-depth into investing beyond the baby steps. Detailed investing. People have asked for many years, what do you do when you get past 101 and you go to 201, 301 in graduate school investing?
Starting point is 00:10:48 What do you do? What do the people do that have a $10 million net worth or greater? What do they do? How do they think? And we're going to go into it. And I'm actually going to open my personal playbook, how I analyze a piece of real estate before I buy it, and how I make a decision on an investment, and what are the principles I use. And they're also the principles I've taught you guys.
Starting point is 00:11:07 So we'll cover the basics real quick, and then we're going to go into in-depth stuff. And this is an online virtual event. I'm doing it two nights. It is two different lessons. So you're going to be involved in front of your computer or television or however you're going to do it two nights in a row, May 21 and 22. And it's something you ask for a deeper dive. You want to know how I do it, and this is it. So tickets are $249. It's ramseysolutions.com slash events. Over 2,000
Starting point is 00:11:38 folks have already signed up. It's a huge event, and we're really, really excited to get to do this for you guys. I was polishing some of the content with the content team this morning and really starting to build out some of the slides and some of the examples. I haven't – it's stuff I've never taught before in public, so it's very interesting. Yeah, I think it's extremely valuable, and for the record, I followed this playbook as well, and Stacey and I are going to be very comfortable in our old age, assuming that she allows me to make it that far. That part's up to me.
Starting point is 00:12:06 There you go. All right, Jessica is in Madison, Wisconsin. Hi, Jessica, how are you? I'm great, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I am a divorced mom of two teenagers, and I've been following your program actually since 2007. So I don't have any debt, no mortgage. I have a large savings and investment. I currently own a home worth about 600,000 and my boyfriend of two years recently just moved in in january and things have been going fantastic however we are looking at purchasing a home and we're just figuring and trying to figure out how to navigate that so because i don't have debt what's wrong with the house you're in uh it's 5 500 square 5,500 square feet, and I'm looking at a 900-square-foot home right now.
Starting point is 00:13:06 900? Yes. Okay. And it's like a weight lifted off my shoulders thinking about that. Wow. So I'm anxious just to have something that's, you know, he and I and smaller and manageable. Where are your kids going to live? Currently they live between my ex-husband and I.
Starting point is 00:13:29 They're 13 and 16. And you're going to put two teenagers in a 900-square-foot house after they're used to living in a 5,500-square-foot house? Yes. So the 900-square-foot house is going to have a small addition on it. It currently has two bedrooms and one bath. We would do an addition of one master bedroom and another bathroom. Oh, so it won't be 900 feet anymore? Yes, correct. Okay. And what will that cost all in? So the home right now is about $200,000 and it's about $250,000 for renovations.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Okay. I'm okay if you want to do this. If I were your older brother and you called me and said, you know, should I do this, I'm okay with you doing it. There's absolutely zero need for your boyfriend to be involved, legally or financially. If he wants to be involved legally or financially, your boyfriend to be involved, legally or financially. If he wants to be involved legally or financially, he needs to be a husband. Yes, and that is something we were talking about.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Well, then do that first. Let's get stuff in the right order. Don't buy a house with somebody and put your name on a deed with somebody you're not married to. That is a freaking nightmare. Yeah, that's not the plan. That's not the intention. It would be under my name but that's what i'm wondering how do we navigate the financial piece of bills of taxes of renovation
Starting point is 00:14:51 those kinds of things you're gonna own it and you're gonna pay for it all and it's gonna be your house and then if he leaves it's not a problem at all unless he's your husband. Okay. You do this deal because it's a good deal for you. He moved in three weeks ago. He does not get to own the house. He moved in in January. I know, but you can't. I mean, 20 seconds ago, right? I mean, it's not.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Yeah. You're going to charge your boyfriend rent? Do you think that's good? Well, no, I'm not thinking rent. Well, you're asking how he's going to get in. He doesn't need his hands on any of this, and you don't need any of his money. You've got plenty of money. You sell a 600,000-square-foot house, you end up in a 400,000-square-foot house.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I mean, $600,000 house, you end up in a $400,000 house. You can do this if he's not there. And you need to do this by yourself, you need to be married one or the two because here's what happens you split up now you got to tear all this apart and guess what you're gonna end up selling this house and moving again just to get the mess cleaned up because you formed a partnership legally it's a disaster so that's not really any my question my plan is you ask how to navigate doing this with your boyfriend i just told you don't i'm i'm sorry so not doing it with him on the deed or anything
Starting point is 00:16:12 like that but him living with me essentially in that home yeah and you asked how does he pay his expenses so what is it you want to know about him living in the home. We must be missing something. So do we split monthly expenses? What does that look like? What is your suggestion with that? That's completely up to you guys. Whatever you guys want to work out, you're roommates. Okay. So that's why it's much better to be married.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Then you don't have to fight over the dead gum. Who used the mustard? Okay. You just fight over who left the refrigerator door open but not who uses the mustard right so right yeah whose mustard is that anyway that's what happened in college with your roommate it just doesn't make sense don't do it when we do get married uh when you when you do get married it's all one yeah we all own. It's yours. There is no yours and mine. It's ours. But until you're married, you have a roommate.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Okay. And that's why it's not recommended because it's very difficult to navigate emotionally, relationally, and everything else. The number of couples that far exceed, the couples that are married financially, the data tells us, the actual research tells us, the couples that are married financially the data tells us the actual research tells us the couples that are married far exceed in their wealth building and their careers the couples that are shacking up the numbers are undeniable there's no question about it and yet today in america more people live together that aren't married than are so there's more shack ups than marriages in america today and yet the data is crystal clear that those of us that are married we have what's called the in the statisticians call it the
Starting point is 00:17:52 marriage advantage in that we outpace in our incomes and we outpace in our wealth building those that aren't married and shack up and so there's just no reason to do this i mean either get married or don't paint or get off the ladder you know but if you're gonna do it you're just got to figure out the terms of being a roommate but please god don't put him on the deed and don't don't don't let him put a hundred thousand dollars into this deal to get this master bedroom added on and all that crap then you got to figure out how to give him his money back when he decides he likes somebody else or, oh, it's a painful mess. And so, yeah. I just think charging your boyfriend for utilities and rent just is a recipe for tension. We know that money issues are the greatest cause of tension within married couples. My goodness. I just don't know why you do it. I think you need a little bit of patience.
Starting point is 00:18:43 You're a mature woman who's in good financial stead. I just don't know why you do it I think you need a little bit of patience you're a mature woman who's in good financial stead I just don't know why you'd even take this on I think it's it's creating unnecessary relationship risk that's what I think yeah but anyway do whatever you want to hunt but number one rule is don't buy houses with people you're not married to you're not you're saying you're not going to do that that's good number two rule is it's very difficult to navigate through what you're talking about as far as who pays for what inside of these things. People have all kinds of different models, and some of them are more successful at it than others.
Starting point is 00:19:13 And then number three, the marriage advantage in the statistics is something to seriously consider. And so we always are big fans of marriage around here because it's what's good for you. And we love you guys. We want you to win. It's that simple. This is The Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Are you working the baby steps? One of the smartest and most impactful changes you can make is to ditch your cash value life insurance plan, if you have one, and replace it with a term life policy. Listen, the only thing a cash value policy is good for is overcharging you for the life insurance and then paying you a crappy rate of return on your overpayment. Stop wasting your money and really focus on getting out of debt and growing your savings. For over 25 years, I've trusted and used Zander Insurance to find the best rates on term life insurance from the top-rated companies. They keep the whole thing simple. You can apply online or over the phone, and they even have low-cost plans that don't require an exam.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Even if you don't have a cash value policy, if you're one of the 70% of people who have no life insurance or not enough, it's even more important to get this done. 800-356-4282 or Zander.com. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Mark and Kelly are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey, guys.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Good. Good, good. Where do you guys live? Fort Collins, Colorado. Oh, fun. Very cool. Well, welcome to Nashville. All right, and how much debt have you guys paid off?
Starting point is 00:20:58 $305,084 months. Wow, very good. And your range of income during that time? About $145,000 to $300,000. Okay, cool. Good for you. What do you guys do for a living? Well, I was a general contractor and just switched careers to a business consultant. And I am an environmental scientist with a large environmental consulting company. Wow. Very cool. And what kind of debt was the $305,000 for seven years? It was our mortgage.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Look at it, weird people. We've been waiting a long time for you guys to call us that. That's right. I like it. How old are you, weirdos? 47. And you have a paid-for house in Fort Collins, Colorado. We do.
Starting point is 00:21:39 That is worth what? $675,000. I love it. And how much in your nest egg and your 401ks and stuff? About $750,000. Ah, look. And how much in your nest egg, in your 401ks and stuff? About $750,000. Ah, look at you, Baby Steps millionaires. Yeah. Way to go, man.
Starting point is 00:21:50 It's so weird to say, isn't it? It feels incredible. You don't look like a millionaire. You don't feel like a millionaire, but you're a millionaire. That's right. Way to go, man. That's right. Way to go.
Starting point is 00:21:59 That's so cool. Good for you. Good for you. So seven years you've been working on paying off your mortgage. Tell us the whole story. How'd you get engaged in this Ramsey stuff? Dave, Ken, 2010, I hit a low point. I was recently divorced.
Starting point is 00:22:13 I was a single dad of a two-year-old renting a small condo. And I took my daughter to this neighborhood park with these cute houses around it. And there was a real estate sign for one of them. One of them was on sale for sale. I read the sign, looked at the price and it just hit me that with all my debt, I think I was in about $70,000 in debt. I am never going to afford this. And I just felt so terrible about myself at that moment. I went home, felt sorry for myself for a few days, and decided a few days later, before I even heard of you guys, I was never going to borrow money again. I was done with debt. I was going to pay it all off and do it a different way. About three months later,
Starting point is 00:22:57 my church is doing FPU. I didn't want to pay the $100 because I was so focused on paying off my debt. And the facilitator scholarship me in and just made me promise that I would help facilitate a future class. So when I got in the class, I was just ready to go. I was primed. You were already going. Everything you guys were saying, I was just ready for it. All we did was tune up this engine that was already going. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:23:22 So I was single at the time, and then I met this wonderful woman. We got married and then... Yeah, it didn't take much for me to get on board. I always thought I was good with money because I had a good credit score and I paid all my bills on time. But it wasn't until he kind of introduced me to the baby steps
Starting point is 00:23:39 and all the Dave Ramsey material that I was like, oh wait, here's a path to do more. I had never even dreamed that you could have a paid-off house at our age. That wasn't even in my mind. I thought if you paid your bills on time and had a few thousand dollars in savings, you were living the dream. I'm struck by how many months.
Starting point is 00:23:59 This is a sizable payoff, too, but you guys stayed with it. I'm curious for folks listening and watching, what did you learn about this process of discipline over that length of time? Seven years. Well, we learned that together we can do anything. In those seven years, we had cash flowed IVF. We cash flowed some house renovations after we paid off our consumer debt. We paid that $40,000 off in the first year and um and then we bought a really nice car and when we bought that car with cash and we had this thing
Starting point is 00:24:32 i mean that's the moment that i knew we can do anything yeah and we set this goal and said we're going to go after it oh is that the picture of the dodge ram and that we just saw on youtube that's the new one that's the new one oh that's the new one. Oh, that's what you just got? We just got that this weekend. So that's how you celebrate it? Yeah. That's right. That's brand new. Well, brand new to us.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Oh, no, it's not new? No. Oh, you're millionaires, and you can get one of yours? We're still cheap. Come on. Okay. Very gently used. We're easing into the, you know.
Starting point is 00:24:58 That's a great way to celebrate paying off your house. Buy a truck. Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Dodge Ram appreciates the free commercial. That's right. Very good. But I would like to back up and just say, when we first got married,
Starting point is 00:25:09 we paid off the 40K and then we were newlyweds and we wanted to expand our family and it wasn't happening. Two and a half years later, we were like, okay, maybe we're not going to have a, you know, a family. But then we decided to do IVF. And because we had been diligent with our finances and we had paid off all of that consumer debt we had the cash saved up to do it and it was such a blessing to not have to decide between expanding our family and paying off debt you know it just felt like once we committed and we took all the right steps the blessings abounded you know we were generous through the whole seven years and things just fell into place when we were doing the right steps and we were you know taking it seriously
Starting point is 00:25:50 things worked out every time they flipped the picture on them back off how many people in the family how many kids five five well i'm sorry i'm sorry three of us yeah three kids five of us and you're yours from before is one of them. Right. Yes. Our middle is his daughter, and then we have a 19-year-old daughter we were blessed with through foster care, and we have our six-year-old son that we had together. I love it. Okay, I'm catching on.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Okay, now I see it. All right. Wow, way to go, guys. Yeah. So I think this is an important thing to just stop and say, if you're out there listening and you're sitting in a park with your two-year-old looking at a house you can't afford across the street that just went up for sale that was 2010 this is 15 years later you're worth 1.7 1.5 million dollars and 100 debt free happily married kids everywhere so that hopeless person sitting there after a
Starting point is 00:26:48 divorce beating themselves up 15 years from now you could be these guys yeah i mean this is a complete story right here this is a full story arc from the bottom up can i add just a little bit to it yeah so so my So I come from an immigrant family. I was born in Russia. We came to the United States in 1981. And I might get a little sappy. I'm not a crier, but I might cry up here. Guys, my family worked so hard coming to this country with absolutely nothing.
Starting point is 00:27:20 And all they wanted for us was for us kids to have a better life. And I had messed that up so bad, you know, and realized that in 2010. So to be here on the other side of all that, and, you know, my dad died young. He ended up developing mental illness. Sorry, guys. And, you know, just to tell my parents and my dad in heaven you know that we did this yeah thank you so so much for all the sacrifices that you guys did for us and and we just hope we've we've made you proud you have yeah you're heroes man you did it we're so proud of you well done well done well done who were your biggest cheerleaders? Each other.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Each other. Financial peace classes, because you must have gone back and coordinated, right? And we facilitated some. We did the legacy journey. We facilitated the legacy journey. Yeah. Yep. But back to what he was saying.
Starting point is 00:28:16 My family is also an immigrant family. My grandparents came in from Denmark. They had seven kids. They didn't speak English. They worked, lived in a church. And so it's like a legacy, right? Denmark they had seven kids they didn't speak English they worked lived in a church and so it's like a legacy right the sacrifices that our grandparents and parents made I feel like they're our cheerleaders amen you know they set the platform for us to have this opportunity amen
Starting point is 00:28:36 amen well done well done well said well I just think your story is fabulous because you painted the picture so with such bright color where we could feel ourselves sitting with you in that park looking at that house you can't afford and getting disgusted with yourself i've done the exact same thing get disgusted with myself and that's right before crap changes i'll just tell you man you get sick and tired of being sick and tired that's when it changes that's when you transform it's not when you figure the math out it's when you get mad that's right a righteous anger at the situation and that just changes everything and uh until then you're just wandering along another another broke person in america that looks like they're not broke right and you you straighten it up man i'm so proud of y'all thank you well done very well done mark and kelly
Starting point is 00:29:19 fort collins colorado 305 000 paid off on their $600,000 paid for house. And, oh, yeah, they're Baby Steps millionaires in the process. What a great story. You guys are inspiring. Very well done. $305,000 paid off in 84 months, making $145,000 to $300,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Three, two, one. We're debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! That's how you do that. Woo! I love it. This is The Ramsey Show. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Starting point is 00:30:03 This is the season for Halloween. It's October, we're wearing costumes and we're wearing masks. So if you haven't started planning your costume yet, get on it. And while you're thinking about it, I want you to be honest. A lot of us hide ourselves. We hide our true selves behind costumes and masks all the time. We do this at work, we do this around our friends, we do this around our families. We even do this when we look at ourselves in the time. We do this at work. We do this around our friends. We do this around our families. We even do this when we look at ourselves in the mirror.
Starting point is 00:30:27 I know because I've been there multiple times in my life and it's the worst. If you feel like you're stuck hiding behind masks and costumes all the time, if you find yourself hiding from your true self, I want you to consider talking with a therapist. Therapy is a place where you can be honest, where you can talk to somebody else and reflect and learn, and you can accept all the parts of yourself over time
Starting point is 00:30:50 and start living an authentic life. Masks and costumes should be for Halloween parties, not for our emotions and our true selves. And if you're considering therapy, try calling my friends at BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy. You can talk with your therapist anywhere, so it's convenient for you and your schedule. Just fill out a short online survey, and you'll be matched with a licensed therapist. Plus, you can switch therapist at any time for no additional cost. Take off the costumes and take off the mask with BetterHelp.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Visit betterhelp.com slash deloney to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash Deloney. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of the book Paycheck to Purpose is my co-host today. Michael's in Atlanta. Hi, Michael. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. How you doing, Mr. Ramsey? Better than I deserve, sir. How can I help? So I just want to say I appreciate everything you do for everybody. I grew up in an awesome family, awesome life and everything, and my two financial advisors were Clark Howard and Dave Ramsey. So I'm honored to be able to finally get her into a phase of life
Starting point is 00:32:01 where I can make this phone call and be able to talk to you. So I thank you for that. Well, thank you. We're honored to have you. How can we help? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Say it again.
Starting point is 00:32:10 I said we're honored to have you. How can we help? Yes, sir. So I'm 27 years old, and I work for my family business. My second job is an ice business, and the owner is wanting to sell within the next two years or so. The sale will come with the building, with existing tenants, and the ice company itself. He's asking for $1 million. As a married
Starting point is 00:32:32 27-year-old renting from my parents with no meaningful form of assets besides vehicles and what we have in our savings and investment, what do you think the best way that I can get a loan that big for that size? Me and my wife currently are living at my parents' house. We have no form of debt besides, or thanks to you, no debt. We work hard to pay off all of our student loans and credit card debt and everything. We do have one car loan right now that we're trying to knock out as quick as possible. But like I said, no form of assets or anything like that. Well, I'm a little bit confused about the part where you listen to me for years and then you just ask me how you can borrow a million dollars. Right.
Starting point is 00:33:26 That's a little bit inconsistent, isn't it? I mean, you kind of know I don't do that, right? Yes, it is. And with the other previous callers, I was thinking maybe I should change the word from borrow to be able to obtain the business for that price. So I do apologize. Let me back up. What is the best route for somebody in my shoes to be able to obtain the business for that price. So I do apologize. Let me back up. What is the best route for somebody in my shoes to be able to obtain the business? Okay, because, well, I mean, you don't have a million. No bank's going to loan you this, okay? Like you said,
Starting point is 00:33:55 you don't have the assets, you don't have the income. You're not bankable. A banker would just, it would take about, I don't know, less than four or five seconds to make the decision. You're not going to get that. So even if we all thought that that was a good idea and we don't. So what I would do is the first thing I do is separate the business from the real estate. Okay. Let him keep the real estate. And the business can be his tenant until you save up the money to buy the real estate later. You could do that out of the business.
Starting point is 00:34:27 So what do you think of the million dollars? What do you think the real estate is actually worth market value? So we haven't dug into the books or anything. No, I didn't ask you about the books. I asked you about the real estate. What's the real estate worth, the building? Approximately $750,000. Okay, so you're wanting to buy an ice business for
Starting point is 00:34:46 250 000 bucks sounds right to me okay so it should be making a profit after everyone is paid including the manager of the business after everyone's paid market wages that business should be making a profit of 6060,000 or $70,000 a year, is it? $60,000. Oh, you haven't gotten into the book yet. You haven't gotten into the book yet. You don't know. Correct, correct.
Starting point is 00:35:18 This is something that I want to try to figure out a route before to see if it was even attainable before I dug into the book. Let me ask a real quick question, okay? Yes, sir. If you weren't working for this owner and they had not approached you about selling, they want to exit, would you be wanting to get into the ice business if you weren't currently working for them
Starting point is 00:35:35 and this wasn't an opportunity? I believe so. Okay. So, like, if you weren't working there anymore, a year from now, you would be going, I've got to figure out a way to get in the ice business. I believe so. I think it's very lucrative, and I see a lot of opportunities in the ice world itself.
Starting point is 00:35:59 So I'm glad I was introduced to it very young. And I think my answer would still be yes. That's not your family, though. Your family's a different business. Correct. Okay. I want to make sure I got that straight. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Now, here's what I would tell my son if he was your age and came in and sat down at my kitchen table. I would say you need a stronger personal financial foundation before you start talking about buying and running a small business. Buying and running a small business will take the bone marrow out of you. It will drain you. It'll squeeze you like yesterday's dishrag, man. Because it becomes a mistress if you're not real careful. Because you have to put everything, all your emotions, all your intellect, everything into it,
Starting point is 00:36:51 and you've got a car payment and live with your mama. So you're not ready to do that. So you guys need to get out on your own and be debt-free and have a solid foundation in your life before you start talking about buying business. This is what I would tell my own son. Okay. And can I ask you a question correlating to that? Sure. I see this opportunity, and I can see this opportunity as a long-term investment,
Starting point is 00:37:14 a long-term, a great thing, just long-term down the road and everything. I'm not wanting to pass up on this opportunity as it comes to me right now. And in my brain, you could tell me if i'm wrong you're wrong and i know you i just told you you were wrong i just told you not to do it pass up on it pass it let it go let it go get in the ice business later when you get your freaking act together you don't have your act together yet about all you're good at so far is talking yourself into this yeah it's not an opportunity it's a trap yeah with your current environment michael you don't have you don't have any money you have a car payment you live with your parents
Starting point is 00:37:48 you know i'm telling you man you really got to get out you got to get out and get on solid ground to have a chance of making it in business business is hard it's hard and you don't do it from your daddy's basement it's hard and you don't do it with a car payment you know it's not it's you need to get a solid solid foundation and i don't think we can stop you you got your foot on the pedal you're heading off the cliff nobody sign bridge out bridge out bridge out i don't care i i i don't want to miss a chance i'm taking a jump it's a chance to go swimming that's it man it's that's the metaphor there we can't stop you so you have at it son but i wouldn't do it i'm telling you i wouldn't do it i think you're gonna have plenty of times in your life to get into business and do it from strength not from weakness and you need to build some
Starting point is 00:38:33 strength to do that that's what i but i it doesn't affect me honey if you want to do it you go do it but you ask what we would do and we love you and we want you to win i told you exactly what i tell my own son who i want to have a great life and prosper just like i want that for you so you do what you want but i don't think you're in a position to do this right now and i would not do it i'm not a dream killer but i love stepping all over nightmares i love kicking a nightmare out the door. Yeah. Here's a quick message for, and this, listen, we've all been your age and bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, excited about what looks like an opportunity. And this is a situation, Michael, if you were to jump into this in your current environment, you wouldn't even be able to be fully focused. Like Dave said, you need to be on a small business because of this financial stress. You're not in a position where this thing can take care of you.
Starting point is 00:39:29 And I didn't hear enough evidence either. And this is a positive. I'm not piling on here. I didn't hear enough evidence that he understood the business. Oh, he doesn't yet. And that he could truly grow the business in order to say, I could actually run the business. I'd like him to prove to the current owner that he, through his efforts, Michael, we're talking about, can grow the business.
Starting point is 00:39:49 It's scary stuff. I would sit down and talk to the current owner, if you want to do this, Michael, here's a way to salvage the idea, I guess, and say, put me in a leadership role for the next two years. That's where I'm at. And I can get my personal finances straightened out, and then I want to talk to you. I'll take an option to buy. And then I'll talk to you about exercising that option, but I'm not bound to it. Not contractual. Love that conversation. And you can have, you'd be sitting there, learn the business inside and out. You may learn, you will learn a lot more about it than you know now. And you may learn the actual valuation is off. Yeah. And that's such good advice. I hope everybody's listening to that because that actually creates an opportunity. Doesn. And that's such good advice. I hope everybody's listening to that
Starting point is 00:40:25 because that actually creates an opportunity. It doesn't mean it's a good opportunity, but right now what you have is not an opportunity. If you go the Dave route there, now all of a sudden it becomes an opportunity and then have the option to choose to take the opportunity. And that's what I like about that. There might be some sweat equity in that plan too, if he helps grow the business. The best business deals I have ever done in my life are the ones I passed on. That's so true. That's good.
Starting point is 00:40:53 They're the best ones. Yeah. This is The Ramsey Show. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of the book, Paycheck to Purpose, is my co-host today. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money at 888-825-5225.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Jaya is with us in Boise, Idaho. Hi Jaya, how are you? I'm doing well. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up? Well, thank you so much for taking my call. So the short summary of it is that I grew up with not a lot of money. Money was really tight. And now that I'm an adult, I'm making more. I'm able to save for retirement. I'm meeting a lot of savings goals. And I feel responsible to pay that back to my parents and specifically my mom.
Starting point is 00:42:06 She has very little in savings and she's approaching her 60s. I think she's going to work through retirement, but if anything comes up with her, like medically or anything, she's not going to have any sort of fund to help support her in that. So I feel kind of responsible for that. So I'm wondering what your opinion is on that well um my opinion is is that you're not responsible but you're allowed to have that feeling um it means you're a sweet person it means you love your mom uh but uh morally ethically legally you're not responsible my children aren't responsible to take care of me. I'm responsible to take care of me. I'm 63. It's my job to pay my bills. And I don't want my children, I don't want to be a burden to my kids.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Okay. Okay. So if I did want to save up for that. If you want to help out of the goodness goodness of your heart that's different than being responsible yeah um so where would that fall in the baby steps because right now I'm saving up my emergency fund by the end of the year I'll have enough and then you know I'm still in my 20s I'm going to be saving up for a house payment um eventually a new car, all that kind of stuff. So I'm still kind of working my way through building my own life.
Starting point is 00:43:29 What's the amount of money that you think you need to contribute to help her or that you want to contribute? What's that number? So I was kind of looking at it. Over the next 10 years or so, if I save like $100 every paycheck or so, save it in like a high-yield savings account. I was looking at about $20,000 by the time she's like older age, and if she needs the money, it's there as a cushion.
Starting point is 00:43:53 So that's how many years from now? Like 10 to 15 years from now, just as like a backup. So you don't need to do a thing except walk the baby steps. Okay. Because that'll cause you to build wealth and you'll have an extra 20 grand. You can just reach into one of your accounts and pull it out. The way you get ready to help someone else is you build wealth. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:20 You don't have to have a mom fund on the side. You just go become wealthy. And the shortest way to do that is walk the baby steps. So you're how old today? I am 28. 28. Okay. And what was it you said you do for a living? I work in tech. Okay. And what do you make? I make about 100k. Good for you. Well done. Okay. Be a great high-tech 28-year-old and, I want you to be a millionaire when you're 38. Okay. So that just means you're going to manage all the way through these baby steps clearly and carefully and in detail the way we teach you.
Starting point is 00:45:01 We'll help you do that. That's what we do. And then when you're sitting on that, if you want to take $20,000 of your million and help your mom, well, that's a very nice thing to do. That is different than I am responsible for my mother, and I am a horrible person if I don't write her a check because she was good to me when times were tough. You're good to your kids when times are tough because that's what parents do. It's not because we expect a payback okay so i do feel like a sense of responsibility um i do get some messaging from her of her like kids are expensive and she wishes her life like she didn't have kids that's her problem stuff. Just kind of stuff like that. You didn't cause any of this.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Okay. You didn't choose to be born. She chose for you to be born. That's on her. So she doesn't get to play that card. I'm sorry. Her whining does not transform you to ethically become responsible for her. Follow me?
Starting point is 00:46:07 Yes, I do. Does that sound mean? See, the difference here is just love, okay? When you're acting in the goodness of your heart with an open hand out of love, that's true ministry. That's true charity. When someone's guilt-tripping you and they're a travel agent for guilt trips and they make you think you have a moral or ethical responsibility that you don't have because they
Starting point is 00:46:31 somehow feel entitled or they have assumed the position of victim that's way different than generosity and i want you in the generous camp not the uh obligated to something you're not obligated to camp but go make you a whole bunch of money not the obligated to something you're not obligated to camp. But go make you a whole bunch of money, and then you can decide what you want to be. Yeah, I really like that advice. Like, kind of just follow the baby steps, build my own wealth, and then eventually pull from that instead of doing something separate for her. I think that's really good advice. If I live in a community and I know there's a child on the other side of the community that's hungry, it's a wonderful thing for me to help them.
Starting point is 00:47:10 It's a wonderful thing for me as a person who's built some wealth to feel a sense of responsibility to make sure that child gets some food. is still an act of generosity an act of charity versus uh the government coming along pointing a gun at my face and says we're going to raise your taxes so we can take a hundred dollars from you in order to spend a hundred dollars of your money to buy ten dollars worth of food because we're the government we're idiots that's what taxes are that's far from charity it's inefficient generosity that where you stole someone else's money to do good with it and it's a whole different mindset it's a whole different thing one's compulsion and one is volunteer and your character is built when you're volunteering your character is not built when you're doing something in as an act of compulsion you are becoming a better person when
Starting point is 00:48:02 you are generous not out of compulsion, but out of capacity. Yeah, Jay, here's what happens. The weird irony here is, is if you receive that responsibility from your mom, I don't think she's healthy and I don't think she's trying to manipulate you, but it comes across that way. And if you receive that responsibility from her, what's going to happen is you're going to end up resenting her yeah and so the the heart that you have as a daughter is i want to be in a position to help mom if she needs it and dave has given you and you've received it you totally got it which is awesome but the alternative here is is you start to resent the very person you want to help and you don't want that i'll tell you the other thing that goes in
Starting point is 00:48:40 this whole discussion that with our christians christian brothers and sisters out there some of them are over saved and they get confused about honor your father and mother honor your father and mother does not mean you're going to give them money ridiculous regardless of their ridiculous behavior that is not honoring if your dad's doing cocaine you don't honor him by giving him the money for it that's not honoring You don't honor someone by helping them with their misbehavior. That's not honoring. We honor the position of mom. We honor the position of father, not of every stinking behavior that the human being engages in. This is The Ramsey personality, is my co-host. Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Hey, your brand new book, Find the Work You Love, the Get Clear Assessment, Find the Work You're Wired to Do, is coming out in May, early May, and we've got it on presale right now. It comes with the Get Clear assessment, which just under 100,000 folks have already taken at ramseysolutions.com and gone to the store and taken it. And the assessment, the book is how to read your assessment results, and it comes with a code for you to take the assessment, right? It's absolutely right. So the assessment is really a self-awareness test to let you see, this is what I do really well. We're talking about the world
Starting point is 00:50:09 of work. This is what I enjoy doing. And then this is what motivates me. And if you put those three together and we do it for you with very detailed results in a purpose statement that you can think of as essentially the ultimate job description for yourself. And then the book meets you there and says, all right, how do I go about getting there? Now that I know who I am and what I want to do, how do I get there? So it's a great companion. Great graduation gift, by the way. We have over 52 percent, just shy over 52 percent of college grads, Dave, are not working in the field that they studied. And so this is a great graduation gift as we see a lot of kids moving from college into the real world. And we have high schoolers that have taken it as well.
Starting point is 00:50:50 And, again, a great awareness tool as they begin to think about what their future direction looks like. And I know for many parents, that's the biggest weight they feel at this age and stage of parenting. Is my kid going to make it and find their way? And that's true if you're 52. Well, that's true, too. Knowing what you're wired to do, it sets you free. Yeah, it does. And it raises your energy level to go do it.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Yeah, and your income potential. Yep. So it's a fun little tool, and now the book comes along, and it's like me coaching people with the results so they can choose their professional direction. Yeah. So this is your last week to pre-order because it comes out next week, the Get Clear Assessment, find the work you're wired to do.
Starting point is 00:51:33 When you pre-order it, we're also going to give you the audio book and the e-book, and each one of those come with a code for an assessment. So you're going to have a total of three codes for the assessment, so you'll be able to give one to a spouse or to a friend or maybe you've got two kids i don't know whatever it is and it's a great way for you to get the access to this material and get all the coaching direct from ken and so people are buying it like crazy as grad gifts but they're also buying it just because they want to know you know i'm I'm on this stinking planet. Why'd you put me here, Lord? What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:52:07 Ramseysolutions.com slash store, and you can get all of those items if you order it this week. So be sure and do that. Caleb is with us. Caleb's in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Hi, Caleb. How are you? Hey, Dave. If I was a dog, I'd be wagging my tail.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Thank you so much for having me on here. You're welcome. How can we help? Yeah, so I'm calling in. I was introduced to you by my manager who's mentoring me and really got excited. I mean, I dove head fast and tore through the total money makeover got super excited uh to to pay off our debt and i'm married as well and uh you know when i started bringing this to my wife um kind of hard moving through some of these conversations uh if you turn my name into a cuss word in your house I'm doing my best not to doing my best not to so I'm looking at the book right now where she set it down because she has been kind of perusing through it
Starting point is 00:53:14 my biggest thing is I just want to it's been about a month and a half since I finished the book I know I can't do this by myself. Well, you know, we're a team and we have to both be fully on board. Um, and, but I don't want to keep waiting, uh, to be making right decisions. So I, I've done things like I have the, uh, every dollar app and I've been trying to budget. Um, but you know, without it really being like a two-person effort on this, I just want to know, dare I say, the baby steps to try to get to the actual baby steps. Where is she challenged the most?
Starting point is 00:53:56 Where is the greatest objection? Because that's a good place to start. What do you see? What are you hearing? Yeah, so we've had some conversations uh one one thing is gosh my excitement for it um when i get excited about something i get very passionate i can uh get kind of overwhelming i do know that about myself okay that's a good one so you did turn my name into a cuss word.
Starting point is 00:54:27 She's already sick of Dave Ramsey. Okay. You got some on your shoe, man. I'm just saying. Okay. So, and then, yeah, when I get excited and I want to talk about these things such as, like, hey, let's just stop using credit cards, and hey, let's sit down and actually do a budget every single, you know, talk about this every week so we can stay on top of this. And I'm trying to, like, bring in the things that.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Are you 27? I'm 26. Ah, okay. Almost like I've done this before. Almost. Okay. How long have you all been married, five years or six? uh three coming up on three here okay good good all right because this is the same exact stuff i used to do so it's easy for me all right so here's what i learned the hard way because i'm wired just like you i'm way super excitable i get fired up about stuff i go down
Starting point is 00:55:22 a rabbit hole and you can't even find me i I got lost down there. And so, um, game on, you know, pedal to the metal. Let's do it. What are we waiting on? I mean, why, why can't you get, why can't you figure this out? It's smart. I figured it out. Let's go. And, uh, none of that of course works. So, uh, and that's what you're finding. So what I want you to do is stop talking about what to do. We need to do a budget. That's a what to do. We need to cut up the credit cards and stop using them. That's a what to do.
Starting point is 00:55:54 What I want you to talk about is why. Why is it you want to do this? So that we can build some wealth and have some peace and be on the same team as a married couple. And if the number one cause of divorce and arguments in marriage is about money, if we could get rid of the number one problem in marriage, it has to make our marriage better. That's why I want to do this. I want to do this so we can become wealthy and go on a vacation anywhere we want to go, anytime we want to go. I want to become wealthy so we can become wealthy and go on a vacation anywhere we want to go anytime we want to go.
Starting point is 00:56:25 I want to become wealthy so we can be outrageously generous when we see a need in the marketplace, a ministry that we can support or start. I want us to be wealthy so that our kids can go to school and have no student loan debt. I want to talk about why and get her involved in why you got excited. Nobody gets excited about doing a budget. The only reason we do a budget is because it's the shortest path to get there. The only reason we stopped using the credit cards is it's the shortest path to get there. But nobody enjoys the exercise. Well, a few of you sick people do. We just enjoy being a little bit thinner. Okay. I'm one of those sick people that enjoys the exercise well a few of you sick people do we just enjoy being a little bit thinner okay i'm one of those sick people that enjoys the exercise but you see what i'm talking about but i
Starting point is 00:57:09 mean the you see the idea being you need to sit down with her and quit uh show talking to her about what we've got to do and say and ask her what would what would be her favorite thing about being wealthy? And what would we have to do to get there then? And how's it going to feel when we live in a paid-for house and have no bills anywhere? That's what I get excited about, honey. And then you've got a reason for you being excited rather than just slapping her upside the head with a book. Yeah, and that's what I've been really trying not to do.
Starting point is 00:57:54 You did, though. Yeah, you did. I did. Yeah, I completely did. And you probably start this conversation with an apology for doing that. And I'm going to add, just because you gave us a hint, this is a pattern for you, and she thinks this might be the next new shiny thing,
Starting point is 00:58:13 and she thinks it's another fad. If she thinks it's quiet long enough, you're going to get over it. Yeah, but I think you've got to show her the facts and go, this is a lifestyle, and Dave gave you a master class on how to get buy-in. I don't think she's resistant as much as she's just kind of like, whoa, take it easy, man. I can't breathe. Down, boy, down. Down, boy, down.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Yeah. Like a freaking Labrador retriever. Yeah. Love them. They're just awesome. They're enthusiastic. Wow. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:58:43 It's fun. Yeah. This is The Ramsey Show. Guys, our rankings on all the podcasts and YouTube platforms and even in talk radio are through the roof. Thank you to all of you out there who are telling people about the show and following us and listening and downloading and viewing and all that stuff you do if you want to help us further we could use the help we really do need your help if you click subscribe or follow on the platform that you're consuming this on it's a big help it jacks up every one of those algorithms thank you very much for that so subscribe or follow also share the show some of them have a share button.
Starting point is 00:59:28 Sometimes you can just cut and paste the link for the show, drop it into your email, send it to somebody, say, hey, listen to this. That's a big help. Or just tell people about it. You can do that too. That works. Hey, this is where I listen to the show on talk radio. This is where I watch the show. This is what's going on.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Word of mouth is everything. And think about how many times you read a book or watch a movie because some of your friends told you. And that's what drives us forward for sure. So thank you guys for doing that and continuing to do that. Albert is with us in Washington, D.C. Hey, Albert, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you, Dave. Pleasure to talk to you and pleasure to talk to you, Mr. Coleman.
Starting point is 01:00:06 My question is, is job hopping going to bite me in the butt? The reason why I ask is because over the last five years, I've pretty much had five jobs. That first one I did have for five years, but ever since then, it's been four jobs in a row of only about a year's worth of time. The money has increased substantially, but I'm just worried this is going to come back and get me. Yeah. So are you chasing jobs for just money each time because of opportunity? And we saw that during the great resignation. So the environment was right for that over the last two years.
Starting point is 01:00:37 That's changed. So my question is, were you hopping just for the increase, or were you hopping trying to find that thing find the right environment it's it all of these jobs have all been in the same industry okay in public utilities and it's just gone the increase in pay has come along with an increase in responsibility learning new things involved in the trade and so it's just gone from being a meter reader you know reading water meters, to doing water treatment, then wastewater treatment, then county utility management,
Starting point is 01:01:14 and just on up. Interesting. So five different organizations, or were there any moves within one organization? There's a couple moves within one or two organizations. Within that year, I might have moved up from one position to another. So how many times did that happen? That's relevant to the answer to your question. How many times did you move up within an actual organization of the five jobs? Of the five, that happened twice. Okay, so first of all, that's not job hopping. So we can take two out of the five. That's a promotion. Yeah, that looks good. That shows somebody that you earned it or that you were perceived as valuable enough to earn it. So the other three are the ones that you start looking at.
Starting point is 01:01:49 And if a narrative can develop, it will. So on the surface, yeah, three jobs in three years, you know, we need a narrative and an explanation for that. Now, let's say that one of the three, you were recruited. Did that happen? Did somebody come after you, or were you actively looking in all three of those? Three of the job changes were for moves. The other two were from LinkedIn, and they were recruiting me. And that's why I'm asking.
Starting point is 01:02:20 I've got a job opportunity coming up right now, which would be another move after I've been in my current place for 14 months and it was somebody who was recruiting me from LinkedIn. It's effectively going to be about the same title, but about a 40% pay increase. All right, so let's look at the long term because short term sounds great. Is long term, does this set you up with a really good path forward, or is it just more money? You know what? It's probably just more money. I think my current position has a path forward as far as moving up, and then so does this job. Okay, so here's the deal. If both of them
Starting point is 01:03:01 allow you to move up the ladder you want to climb, then it's a no-brainer. And this is not flaky. When someone is recruiting you, that's a very different story than you just being with somebody for a year and going, I'm tired of this place, and I'm looking for the next place. If someone's coming after you, that's the nature of the corporate world, and that's not flaky. That makes you look very valuable. Okay. Well, that sounds great. I like the way you put it. But that has to flaky, that makes you look very valuable. Okay. Well, that sounds great.
Starting point is 01:03:26 I like the way you put it. But that has to be true, obviously. And in that situation. If the hiring manager perceives that the first time someone comes along on LinkedIn and offers you more money, you're going to leave. Yeah. That's the day you're not hireable anymore. That's my worry.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Yeah. If you turn into a mercenary if they if they perceive you as a mercenary you're going to go to the highest bidder then they don't want to screw with having on board you and then you turn around and head back out in eight months just because somebody else hits you on linkedin so um you know it's you know that that i and i don't know how you keep that from happening with what you're describing. So, um, I think you've got valid explanations, but if the, if the hiring manager perceives that you're going to go to the highest bidder, as soon as the next LinkedIn LinkedIn
Starting point is 01:04:18 connection happens, then you're done. They're not going to hire you. Yeah. To that point in this current situation, have you been in the interview process yes and they know your history yes were there any flags did they ask you about it i we did we did have a discussion about it and in fact i may have just made sure that they understood that at my current position in this management role, I only had a year. And they said, that's fine. You have, you know, effectively 10 years in this industry and that knowledge is valuable to us. So they were fine with that. That was to develop expertise. That's not stability. That's right. So that, that says to me that you have expertise in the industry. You don't care whether you were, I've only been there a year, but it doesn't matter. You've been in the business. So, you know, the business, that's what that's saying. I don't care where you were. I've only been there a year, but it doesn't matter. You've been in the business, so you know the business. That's what that's saying.
Starting point is 01:05:06 That doesn't say you're going to stay. Yeah. Here's the real answer, Albert. This is a 50-50 deal, Dave, because in today's labor market, we are still at 3.8% unemployment, and a lot of companies are desperate. I don't think we would go about it that way. I'll guarantee you we wouldn't hire it. I know, and I think this is one of those 50-50 deals. And I think what I would say is, is I want you always making moves that are moving me forward on the 15 to 20 year play. Yeah. And in that case, it's a calculated risk, but I think this has some risk and you have to weigh that. Yeah. It's a good discussion, Albert. And here's the good news. You're the kind of person that asks the question and is worried about it, which makes you the kind of person that can survive this narrative.
Starting point is 01:05:51 And so they may hire you in that situation. But in general for folks out there, when you jump, Albert's right to ask the question because when you jump to jump to jump, as an employer, if I think you're going to go right back out the door as soon as i get you onboarded just because somebody hit you up on linkedin like i did like our recruiting team hit you on linkedin you came over here and then the next thing that comes along you're going to come along then i don't need to i don't need to fool with all that i'd rather just i want to hire people they're going to stay that's right uh at least hopefully you
Starting point is 01:06:23 know it's a blinking yellow light on paper and then you're going to have to win the conversation and show that you actually are a loyal person and you just had a string of, you know, some opportunities. This is pretty abnormal. You know, I get this question on our Entree Leadership podcast. I do a podcast once a week for small business people, and I get this question all the time and one of the things that ramsey fell into and this is really it's a side from albert it's not an answer or directed at albert at all um was that we also used our recruiters we use linkedin we'll reach out and try to hire someone when we are doing that we've had to learn to be very careful to not attract someone who goes, yeah. I mean, it's like walking.
Starting point is 01:07:06 I told one of our recruiters, it's like walking down the street and going up and knocking on someone's door that does not have a for sale sign and go, hey, would you sell your house? That's right. They go, well, yeah, for the right dadgum price, I would. And because everybody's heard the story about somebody who paid too much for a house and the guy just sold it. Yeah, OK, I'll take that. And you said, yeah, I sold my house. Why'd you sell your house? Got knocked door give me a ridiculous number well it's the same thing if you're out there recruiting on linkedin and you pull somebody in well i wasn't
Starting point is 01:07:32 looking for a job but i'll go over there and then guess what then they're gonna do it again then they're gonna do it again if that's so we've had to be careful to not do the uh knock on the front door of the house routine on linked LinkedIn in terms of our recruiting because a couple times we've actually done that and it bit us as as employers it better so because they don't stick or they've got a horrible attitude because they're just here for the money or whatever and that's a horror you know you hire people that work in a J-O-B god just get oh killing me killing me so yeah you got to show up and actually care so um yeah but that none of that's directed at you albert but that's just something we learned in recruiting during
Starting point is 01:08:11 this great resignation thing that's right because we were having to do more outbound recruiting than we've ever done to get the right positions and some very specialized positions to fill this is the Ramsey Show. Thank you for joining us, America. We're so glad you are with us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Mike is in Las Vegas. Hey, Mike, what's up?
Starting point is 01:08:37 Hi, Mike. Dave, thank you so much for taking this call from me. So I've been in a pretty good lucrative sales career for a lot of years and, uh, recently lost my job, um, performance-based industry, of course things happen, but, um, I sort of crunched in some numbers and I've racked up including my vehicles and credit cards, about $93,000 in debt. I'm paying about $1,200 a month in interest alone. And so I've got this IRA with about $150,000 in it, and I was thinking to myself, cash it out,
Starting point is 01:09:07 take the penalty, and wipe all this out and start fresh. How old are you? I'm curious if you think that's a good idea or not. How old are you? 49. What were you selling? I was working for a hospitality company here in Las Vegas. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:27 In sales. I was making about $6,000 a week, and so it's just taking a little longer to replace the income. $6,000 a week. Yeah. So you were making $300,000. Yeah. Okay. And you were not performing and you were making $6,000. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:49 And you were not performing and you were making $6,000 a week? So I was in the leadership role and it was a team thing. I see. Okay. So you weren't actually doing sales? Part of my job was sales, mostly leadership yeah okay all right um are you married i am a single dad i have an eight-year-old son and so you know part of the thing is you know i don't want to put my son in public school he's been in private school since
Starting point is 01:10:20 he was you know in preschool and so there's there's some big bills that I'm dealing with. Yeah. Well, that wouldn't be caused by the debt. That'd be caused by the lack of income. Yeah. So it's all adding up. And I've had several months of a nest egg, but I'm getting towards the end of that. So I'm trying to see where I can make some money. So how long have you been unemployed? It's been in two months okay all right first i'll answer your question but your question is not your problem it's a symptom of your problem your problem is income and job your problem is not debt your debt your lack of
Starting point is 01:10:59 income has it has shined a light on the stupidity of your debt but it's not it's not caused the problem the problem is the income evaporating and not replacing it for two and a half months so the answer is no you don't cash out your 401k for this you get a job and solve the income side because if you cash this out you're going to get hit with if you make the same kind of money you're going to get hit with a 10 penalty plus 30 of taxes of money, you're going to get hit with a 10% penalty plus 30% of taxes, so 40%. So it's like saying, hey, Dave, I'm backed against the wall. Should I borrow money at 40% interest and pay off my debt? The answer would obviously be no. You do anything to keep from doing that because 40%, oh my gosh, you know, you never borrow money at 40% interest. You never borrow money, you never borrow money at 40 interest you never borrow money but never borrow money at 40 interest ever so what we got ken is a career crisis so we got
Starting point is 01:11:52 a job crisis so let's get the guy a job what do you think yeah so you've been in leadership how long were you in leadership uh prior to actually being in sales just a sales role uh so i've been in leadership and sales for five years and then before that I was in just selling. Yeah how aggressive have you been right now to get back in? So I've recently taken a job in solar just to see if it's because you know it's a booming market here in Las Vegas but it takes some time to build up. Okay, what does that mean?
Starting point is 01:12:29 You stray commission or you're on a very low salary? Yeah, the salary is $20,000 a year, and then it's all commissioned on top of that. All right, so you just took the first thing that kind of came your way, right? Yes. All right, so where you stand right now, you're a veteran here. How long is it going to take you to get to a point where you're close to what you were making before in this solar company? I'm thinking 60 days. 60 days.
Starting point is 01:12:53 Okay. That's not that far. So, you know, now we've got to sit here and go, okay, we've got this gap. All right. And so how can we float and survive for 60 days putting all your effort into winning because if you're going to start making the 25 000 a month uh in 60 days you're gonna be fine i think you're okay i wouldn't be panicking right now only this time pay off the debt with the dadgum income yeah i'll spend it all again i get on the phone with his debtors and i'd start telling him your situation and your reality well 60 days is 60 days. 60 days is when he reaches the top. That's right. On the way
Starting point is 01:13:29 to the top is a bunch of money. There's some money there. You're right. You know, if it's a straight line, if it's not on a curve, after 30 days, you'd be making a hundred and a half. So the reason I asked that question, Mike, is I'm trying to figure out what are we pivoting to or what do we need to do? But it feels like right now you're doing what I would coach anybody with a sales, with your kind of experience. Let's go get, we're not worried about the dream job here. We're not looking at 15 years from now. We're looking for stability.
Starting point is 01:13:57 And it looks like you're going to have stability in 30 days, 60 for sure. I could find, you know, I'm paying $2,700 a month in these payments with $1,260 that are going towards interest right and it just like this is terrible well that didn't bother you when you had a job right no it didn't okay right so again the debt is a problem and hopefully this is your wake-up call and you'll clean it up once you get your income back up but um but paying it off with 40 interest is not a good idea yeah and not necessary right now no it's not you don't have to it's just you just had a wake-up call with this is crazy i gotta fix this well yeah i'll fix it after you get some income and if you're really stressed you're not gonna like this answer mike
Starting point is 01:14:39 if you're really stressed over that 1200 with your200 with your smaller income right now, go work some other job in Vegas. I'm going to tell you right now, I've been reading articles. Vegas is a hot job market. Sell something, go get an extra job, get two extra jobs, and start making money at night and weekends while you're building up your pipeline. You can take control over this, and I think you're looking up your your uh pipeline like you can take control over this and i think you're looking for the easy out and what we're telling you is while it's easy it's gonna hurt a lot and you're just you're chopping yourself off with the shins it's just dumb it's short-term thinking that's right don't do it it's a bad long-term play and a totally great
Starting point is 01:15:21 short-term play but yeah i would not i wouldn't no no no no no no no no open phones at 888-825-5225 you jump in we'll talk about your life and your money ken the um let's talk about the job market for a second the the job market in general it has it went through the whole great resignation and then the great regret. I wished I hadn't left the good job for a few more bucks here and there. And then that has now settled out and we're kind of back into more of a normal rhythm, but we have almost no unemployment. That's right. So we're still at a place where the job market's hot in the sense of opportunity. What's not happening is companies aren't paying over, overpaying for people and creating the musical chairs that existed. So now companies are slowing down in a normal hiring process.
Starting point is 01:16:14 They're not panicking. A lot of companies waiting to see what happens in this election year. We are already, by definition, in a stagflation environment. We saw in the first quarter the GDP reduced, and we're seeing inflation increase. So a lot of companies are sitting back and watching. However, of the jobs that are available, it's still in the workers' favor, Dave.
Starting point is 01:16:36 We're, again, about one and a half jobs available for every person who is actively saying, I'm unemployed and I'm looking. This does not account for millions of people who are just saying, I'm out and I'm looking. This does not account for millions of people who are just saying, I'm out and I'm not interested in working. So favorable job market, but the days of skipping around, like our previous caller this hour, and getting a 12% to 20% bump, those days have cooled dramatically.
Starting point is 01:16:58 So now companies are looking for loyalty, and as a worker, you should be looking for stability in a company that says they've got a long-term play and an opportunity for me to grow because that we'll never get back to what we experienced two years ago. You're just not going to see that in the job market where people were just leaving and leaving and leaving and getting bumps and bumps and bumps. It's not going to happen. Companies learn their lesson on that. So a short version, still a very favorable job market. Let me tell you, one part of the economy, and this hits all of our audience, if you want to make more money to get through the baby steps faster, the gig economy is absolutely blowing up. Freelance work, nights and
Starting point is 01:17:35 weekends with those skills you have, it's out there. Go get it. Get you some more money. Get you some. This is The Ramsey show live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions it's the Ramsey show we help people build wealth do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships Ken Coleman Ramsey personality number one best-selling author of the book Paycheck to Purpose, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Thanks for jumping in. We're glad you're here.
Starting point is 01:18:17 Michael is in New York City. Hey, Michael, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? How's it going? So I don't know if I gave you the question I had asked yet, but I'm a big fan of your show and I just wanted to see if I could take any wisdom for you and help myself kind of dig out of the little hole that I'm in. Okay. What's up? So a long story short is it started with a house, a foreclosure.
Starting point is 01:18:44 I was 23 years old. I made a stupid decision to co-borrow on my parents' mortgage. Didn't know any better at the time. And four years later, which was this summer, I got a call the house was in foreclosure and over $200,000 in the negative. And in the blink of an eye, it was either got to have a foreclosure on my record or assume that property and take something that was well above me and my soon-to-be wife's means. And we're just trying to figure it out and make all our payments and make the best of a bad situation, in addition to some credit card fraud,
Starting point is 01:19:17 which I have most of that resolved. You have most of that resolved? Yeah, I submitted fraud claims. I had all the proof that they were not my cards. I'm battling on one, but the two larger ones are taken care of. Okay, but the house you did actually sign, it's not fraud. Yeah, no, that part wasn't fraud. Now you have it.
Starting point is 01:19:36 So what is the house worth? We inherited it for $750, and it's probably worth like $700. What's owed on it? $750, and it's probably worth like $700. What's owed on it? $750. So you owe more on it than it's worth? Correct. And the mortgage, we had a nice one-bedroom apartment, living very comfortably. How in the world does a house have more owed on it than it's worth in our current world? Well, when the people who are living in it didn't pay it for four years,
Starting point is 01:20:04 I found that out the hard way, and it added up very quickly. Okay. And so you're four years behind. How are you catching that up? They did a loan modification to where they lumped anything that wasn't paid for plus the original balance at signing. So that was how it worked. Typically, from my understanding, the loan modifications are supposed to be
Starting point is 01:20:34 a little bit cheaper for a monthly payment, but due to the fact that it was so far behind, it actually increased the mortgage. So what is your monthly payment? $6,400. So what is your monthly payment? $6,400. And what's your household income? A little over $160,000. Okay.
Starting point is 01:20:56 How old are you now? 29. Wow. And we had a nice apartment. doesn't matter it's gone yeah i mean did you own it nope but we had ourselves very comfortable to yeah but i mean i mean you get this is in your name and you you all that's in that it's not all that's in the rearview mirror so yeah it is in your name that You signed the mortgage, right? Correct. Okay.
Starting point is 01:21:26 So I guess a question I would have for you is we're making it work now. We're breaking even. I luckily was a hard worker in my younger time, and we put away a nice emergency fund a little under $100,000. So we have that to fall back on. But my worry is if something were to go wrong, boiler, roof, you name it, and it could all go away very, very quickly. Yeah. What I'm going to do is talk to one of our Ramsey-trusted real estate agents in the area,
Starting point is 01:21:57 have them come out and look at the property and give you a fair appraisal on what they think they could put it on the market for, you might be surprised pleasantly that you could sell it and get out from under it. If you're not, let's say your numbers are correct and you owe $750 and it's worth $700 today, in two years you can sell it and get out of it because it will have gone up enough to cover this. So it's not like... Do you have been doing any renovations to try to increase the value or save that rainy day fund?
Starting point is 01:22:30 Depends on what they're doing, what it is. Do I want to spend $100,000 on this? No. But if I could spend $20,000 of my $100,000 and make this thing worth $800,000, absolutely. And then sell it right yep no that makes sense because we wanted to buy so it kind of in a way we didn't have to put money down so there was pros and cons to all of this no you don't want this house you don't want this house your wife doesn't want to live in this house this house represent every time you walk in the front door,
Starting point is 01:23:06 it represents stupid stuff you did when you were 23 and shouldn't have done and your parents misled you on. That comes up in my throat every time I walk in there if I'm you. It does. I have my days where it's good and other days. I don't have any good days if it's me. I'm out of there. As soon as I can get out of there and start my life fresh with my wife somewhere clean
Starting point is 01:23:29 and screw this. Put it in the rear view mirror, man. Why not sell it now, Dave? You can't get out of it. He's got, oh, wait a minute. You got a hundred grand. What am I thinking about? He's got a hundred grand cash.
Starting point is 01:23:38 Oh, crap. Put the thing on the market and sell it. What am I thinking about? Thank you, Ken. I was waiting for it. What in the world? Golly. Yeah, you got a hundred grand. you're 50 grand in the hole sell it yeah as fast as you can get a ramsey trusted real estate agent over there right now and get this thing gone everything about this thing that you have brought up in the entire
Starting point is 01:24:00 time i have known you michael has been negative there was nothing positive in this story put this in your rearview mirror and move on and when you write a check for 50 000 anytime i do something stupid and it costs me money and i have done plenty of that in my life i always put stupid tax in the four column of the check down there at the bottom where you write the check it says four put stupid tax when i was 23 i was stupid and my parents misled me and they screwed me over and i'm hurt and i'm angry and this is my stupid tax check and thank god i had a hundred thousand dollars saved to be ready for it and now it's in my rearview mirror and i'm moving on and that's me if i'm you i'm out of there
Starting point is 01:24:43 god and he's in the world and he can stack that cash back and he's me if i'm you i'm out of there god and he's in the world of mine and he can stack that cash back and he's he's financially sound outside of that yeah you're making 160 you're gonna be fine just get this weight out the emotional relational financial weight out from around your neck you're trying to go swimming with a concrete block shoes man get out of there be done with this yeah that's good that's good god i don't know why can't have that so aggravating well you were you had a lot of information you're processing no i mean i was sitting there going out sixth grader could have done that 100 grand is a real nice oasis to get out of this deal yeah but i the other thing is this what normally happens to the human
Starting point is 01:25:20 brain and i'm going to accuse michael's brain of this right now is when you're in a negative situation you tend to under value things so i do think when the real estate agent comes over from ramsey trusted ramsey solutions.com click on agent click on real estate when they come over they're probably going to give him some good news yeah i think on values because he's probably dealing with well i thought you know it's just and I looked it up on Zillow, which is worthless, and then I'm going to actually find out what the thing is worth, and I'm going to go ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I'm really out of here now. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:53 Yeah, because I don't have to write a check at all is maybe what he's going to find. I hope so. That's what we hope. That'd be great. I might be right and I might be wrong, but I'm probably right. This is The Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. We're so glad you're here. If you didn't know, it's Financial Literacy Month, and one of the ways we're celebrating that is to take questions from students at high schools that are teaching our
Starting point is 01:26:21 foundations in personal finance curriculum. Today's question comes from Chelsea in Florida. I'm 16 years old and my dad has been following the baby steps for several years. I really look up to him for that, but it can be hard sometimes when my friends have brand name clothes, live in beautiful houses, and go to extravagant vacations. How can I appreciate what my dad is doing? Will our sacrifice allow us to do those things someday? I got chuckled just reading that because I can just see a 16-year-old watching all that and watching the comparison stuff fly, and they're on Instagram or the TikTok or whatever, the Snapchat, whatever the things are that these kids are on. And, you know, I get it. It's hard because you don't appreciate
Starting point is 01:27:06 the sacrifice that dad's making that is not only going to set him and your mother and the whole family up, but it's also modeling the way for you to be very, very wealthy. And so I'd lean in if I were you, Chelsea, and I'd sit down and have dad explain the why of what they're doing and how it's actually impacting the family and expenses and savings and what the short-term and the long-term advantages are. Sit down and be patient enough to let mom and dad explain the why and how it's impacting them and how it's going to impact you. And I think if you do that, I think you're going to see some really awesome emotion. You're going to understand that it's not about sacrifice just for the sake of sacrifice. And I think you're going to learn
Starting point is 01:27:56 some valuable lessons. And I would understand sacrifice through real facts and real figures. And then I would ask you to sit back and say, well, what's life going to be like on the other side of these baby steps? And how, if I don't get into the mess that my mom and dad got into, how much money could I actually have in the bank at 30, 35, 40, and 45? I think that's the advice i'd give you on this question yeah i um will our sacrifice allow us to do those things someday you'll be gone you're 16 you're gonna be gone you'll be in college you'll be out of college and married and start having kids and then your dad and mom are going to be able to enjoy it but i mean probably in the next two years before you're
Starting point is 01:28:50 18 is your family suddenly going to become wealthy and take you on mediterranean cruises i doubt it um i doubt it uh unless your dad's making a million dollars a year and he's just being a tightwad which that's different than the baby steps right but if he's just simply living like no one else so that later they can live like someone no like no one else they're cleaning up a mess or cleaning up the debt they're walking out the process it's going to be a little while yeah even if let's say they were debt-free today yeah they did their debt-free scream today in year 16 still two years from now they're not suddenly going to become multi-millionaires that's right so i i think the the best part of the whole equation is this godliness with contentment is great gain and so those people who have uh and chelsea you're asking a wise
Starting point is 01:29:36 mature question for someone who's 36 but for someone who's 16, you're amazing. You're absolutely amazing to ask this question. Very mature, very wise question. And I will tell you, I think the most important financial principle you can possibly learn is contentment. If you can learn to sit where you are and be comfortable, you can stay out of debt because debt's trying to get you something that you think is going to make you happy and it's not going to we're going to make your life okay because your life's not okay now yeah contentment and with that's gratitude and you you know you're you're an amazing young woman so i but do i think you're going to get a louis vuitton purse for your uh 17th birthday i doubt it doubt it i doubt i doubt that's on the horizon so i think
Starting point is 01:30:27 i'm going to start looking at the other people's lives and realizing that i used to look at nice cars at a stoplight and go well and that's must be nice and then i found out that the nice car at the stoplight probably has a 1400 car payment so i don't really want to trade places with that goober. No thanks. I'll pass. Open phones at 888-825-5225. James is in Des Moines. Hi, James. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello there.
Starting point is 01:30:54 How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? Well, I've found myself in a kind of interesting situation. About three years ago, I made a career change and I went into construction and mechanics and I went from $25,000, $30,000 a year to $45,000. Now I'm making over $100,000. Yay! The majority of my life, yeah, honestly, the majority of my life I've been so poor that I haven't really built up any debt or credit because nobody would give me any credit cards.
Starting point is 01:31:21 Great! Now I'm at a point where I don't know, am I maxing out my 401k? Do I do an IRA? How much do I put into savings? It used to be, I would buy the $3 pork chop because that's what I could afford. Now I have the option of the $24 ribeye. But if I keep on doing that, then like, I just don't know what the next step is. Um, because I've never been here. I'd never had financial literacy from my family. I'm not living penny to penny. I do have a couple thousand saved up.
Starting point is 01:31:51 How old are you? I'm just one of those 36. Are you married? Single, no kids. Oh, good for you. No mortgage. I travel 11 months out of the year, and my work pays for my lodgings and they pay for my vehicle.
Starting point is 01:32:07 Um, and you make a hundred on top of that. Yes, sir. Yeah. Wow. You ought to go bank some money. Okay. So here's the one thing, one thing will cause you to win. One thing will cause you to win.
Starting point is 01:32:18 Start telling your money what to do before you wonder where it went. It's called a budget. Fair enough. So download the every dollar app and i will give you a one-year subscription to the to the premium version where it hooks to your bank okay so download the every dollar app and start telling your money what to do because you already know the a i don't need to spend it all right you just told us that and b b i do have a little margin now i don't have to eat dog food now i can eat good food yeah and honestly i've been listening since it was rice and
Starting point is 01:32:55 beans and beans and rice yeah and that's what it's been so i'm like wait i don't know well now you've got you you don't have any debt you don't have any personal overhead to amount to anything now so you ought to be able to save like a crazy guy and you ought to be able to have some enjoyment in your budget just intentionality i just want you to sit down say okay i got you know i got eight thousand dollars i got six thousand dollars coming home every month i don't have a car payment i don't have a house payment i don't have any food issues so what what can i you know how am i going to spend this six thousand dollars i want you to give every one of those six thousand dollars a name and there's only three things you can do
Starting point is 01:33:33 with money you can invest and save it you can give it and you can enjoy it and you should do all three and so how do i learn the ratio on those three? Because I was raised with 10% tithe, which I still do. Good. The investing, I figured I could get that with my IRA and my 401k. I'm very nervous of stocks. I don't even want to play that game. Okay. And then it's the enjoyment part. I could afford a trip to New Zealand, but do I really need to go to New Zealand? Sounds like it'd be fun, but yeah. Sounds like you need to. You just have to save up for it. So you walk the baby steps. So we want you to get three to six months expenses right away. Dave has led you to the budget. Once you
Starting point is 01:34:15 figure out what you actually have to save every month with your minimal expenses, we want you putting three to six months expenses in the bank. That's baby step three. Now you've got a really fat emergency fund. After that, you start investing 15% of your income. And go to RamseySolutions.com and find a smart investor pro. I know you're traveling all over the place, but, you know, maybe Des Moines, that's your base. And sit down, and they know our strategy, and start an investment strategy there. And you're going to make up ground really fast with your low overhead, James. And now, like Dave is saying, you're giving it and you're going to New Zealand all cash. I mean, you're really set up. So the budget is the first step. And then
Starting point is 01:34:56 baby steps three and four are right there in front of you. Yeah, I think you can eat a nice steak, go to New Zealand, invest in your 401k aggressively, and be generous, all three, with your income and your living situation. I think you're going to be able to do all three things and not do harm to any one of them, mathematically. This is The Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is our co-host so we were telling the last guy who's making more money he's ever made in his life how do you take care of that how do you make it behave well you make it behave a budget is telling your money what to do instead of wondering where it went and the best way to do that is to use the EveryDollar app. Now the EveryDollar app is the world's best budgeting
Starting point is 01:35:45 app and tens of millions of people are signing up for it. It is crazy how this has exploded and we thank you for that. You can download the EveryDollar app for free in the App Store or Google Play today. It's very easy to do or just go to EveryDollar.com if you want to do it for your desktop. But until you start telling your money what to do, you're not easy to do or just go to everydollar.com if you want to do it for your desktop. But until you start telling your money what to do, you're not going to win with it. It's simple. I don't like being on a budget. Well, then you don't like telling yourself what to do.
Starting point is 01:36:15 What in the world is that? That's weird. So tell yourself what to do. Tell yourself, self, this is what I need to do. And if self will behave, then self can get what self wants. It's not hard. This is how the deal works. All right.
Starting point is 01:36:33 In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage is Rachel from Vancouver. She has a question. Hi, Rachel. How are you? Hi, great. Thank you. Have you had Canadians on your show before? Oh, sure.
Starting point is 01:36:41 They're not that rare. Okay, awesome. Yeah, I wanted to ask this question today. It's an honor to be on your show. So all of my mom's relatives and my extended family live in poverty in the Philippines. We care and we have empathy about their circumstances. Some expect help and some don't. But it's hard to discern how much to be helping them.
Starting point is 01:37:03 And I wanted to ask, what would that look like? How could I help them? The principle that we use with the Ramsey Family Foundation, if we're going to help someone with money, whether it's an individual or whether it's a situation, if you are not helping them take the steps to sustainability, then you're just throwing good money after bad. Yeah. And so, in other words, if I sent one of your relatives $5,000
Starting point is 01:37:41 and it doesn't change their anything, it's just like that money runs out and they're right back where they were then we wasted the five thousand dollars and it wasn't really helpful exactly it felt warm and fuzzy at the moment but it wasn't really helpful and so um what can i do that would help them get the get get a rung or two up the ladder as they climb out of poverty what could we do with that now that i'd get really interested in helping someone i loved okay and so for instance um uh in a couple of cases we have bought a piece of real estate uh and it wasn't in the philippines it was somewhere else it was in the uh in the far east but it was a a rice plantation and gave it to these people and now they are the owners of a farm and a piece of real estate and the and they're excellent at growing rice in that particular
Starting point is 01:38:39 area and that's an example of okay so you put i don't know twenty thousand bucks fifty thousand dollars into that now they've got something that for the next decade they can use to double triple quadruple their income yeah uh and so we gave them a tool to lift themselves out uh that because it's sustainable but if i'd just given them fifty thousand dollars cash it would or ten thousand or twenty thousand dollars cash it would have just evaporated yeah that's right and so what can i do like that how can i help them start a business how can i help them uh uh get uh an educational certification of some kind go to school uh how can i help someone that that causes their income to come up and their perception of themselves and their future to to come up and stay up that's then I get all excited about doing that that's my best
Starting point is 01:39:31 obligation but just to throw money over the fence and feel good it generally doesn't work yeah of course and my sister and I grew up with our mom growing broke sometimes because she was raising us as a single mom but then also trying to help her family and so she was just surviving she was caught and she was caught in that cycle yeah and um and if you look back now is what i'm saying true i mean do you look back at the money that she sent over there did it change anything no so so all of her all of her sacrifice yeah uh because it just she was just throwing money over the fence maybe i don't know but i mean that that's how i measure it is i don't mind being generous but i don't want to be uh randomly generous i want to be intentionally generous and helpful yeah um because otherwise i'm just contributing to the problem yeah definitely which
Starting point is 01:40:24 is why i like wanted to raise the question. I haven't seen a video on it yet, but I would have loved to discuss it with you. Yeah, it's great. What's the source of the problem? Just the economic situation that they're in. I mean, the whole economy. I mean, the average household income in the Philippines is what? Do you know?
Starting point is 01:40:43 I don't know. It's fairly low. It's fairly low. It's fairly low. And yeah, most of them haven't. I mean, she escaped for which was great. She gave us a great life. But yeah, just with what their day to day looks like, we've compared. And I mean, $20 to me is like a long way for them.
Starting point is 01:41:01 So, yeah, it's just something that I wanted to do differently than how my mom did it yeah so I want to be helpful yeah um not just feel obligated yeah um and so um I don't I don't you know and I and I think you can be both yeah I mean I think you can do the right thing and honor honor uh the family in that regard but but not do it in a way that enables them. I don't think we're in your mom's case. I don't think it was enabling because they weren't misbehaving. You know, they're just in poverty. That's not a misbehavior.
Starting point is 01:41:34 It's just a situation. And so but it is still the money still didn't move the needle. You know, it didn't fix it. You know, so what I want to do is fix it. I want to be a solution with these dollars. There's not enough coming in, right? And so today's point, when you give money like that, it may keep them afloat for a while, but it still eventually runs out.
Starting point is 01:41:57 The burn rate's still there. It burns back up. If I were you and you know that culture and you know you've got people on the ground, I'd be figuring out how people do get out. What are the pathways on the ground in the Philippines to get out? I would do research. Now, I know absolutely nothing, so it's kind of a fun scenario.
Starting point is 01:42:12 I would say, okay, for people to escape poverty in the Philippines, what are the above-board paths? What are they? And in today's point, based on what I could do, I would try to help fund a pathway, a ladder, if you will, to where it's self-sustaining. That's the idea. I would do some research. You got a good heart. Thank you for asking your question. It's a good question. Thanks for joining us. That's a tough one too, Dave. Absolutely. Zachary is with us. Zachary's
Starting point is 01:42:39 in Fort Worth, Texas. Hi, Zachary. How are you? I'm doing great, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Yeah. So I have a question about 529 accounts for my daughter's college fund. My question is, what happens to that money if my daughter decides that college isn't right for her or something like she ends up getting a full ride? Are there penalties on that money if I want to pull it out and use it for something else? Are there other qualified expenses? You know, stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:43:09 Okay. If she gets scholarships, you're allowed to pull out of the 529 the cash equivalent of the scholarship. So if the school's $40,000 a year and she gets a free ride because she's valedictorian or whatever, or volleyball scholarship or whatever it is i don't care um and she gets a full ride then you can pull forty thousand dollars out with no penalty at all whatever the equivalent of the scholarship is you can pull that out
Starting point is 01:43:36 okay number two you can transfer the money to anyone in your family not just you could transfer it to if your wife wanted to go back to school, do some graduate work, you can use it for that. If you want to take a class, anybody, you've got other, if your daughter has other siblings, you got other children, anywhere up and down like that, you can do that. Number three, if you leave it alone for a long time, I don't recommend this. She can actually roll it into a Roth IRA up to about $30,000 worth. And then the last answer is, yes, there'll be penalties on the growth. And so if you have put in $30,000 and it's grown to $100,000, then you would have penalties only
Starting point is 01:44:23 on the $70,000. So you won't have penalties except on the growth and so you won't get to keep all of the growth you'll have taxes and some penalties on it if you just straight up cash it out but there but that you know so i wouldn't over fund a 529 but i wouldn't i wouldn't abandon the idea of a 529 just because of those issues. I would certainly have a kid's college fund in today's world. This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Matthew 7, 13, and 14. Enter by the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction and those who
Starting point is 01:45:06 enter by it are many but the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life and those who find it are few Theodore Roosevelt said in any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing the worst thing you can do is nothing. Whoa, there we go. When in doubt, do something with vigor, right? Exactly, yeah, yeah. What was the Patton quote? I used to use it all the time. A mediocre plan executed with great enthusiasm
Starting point is 01:45:39 is better than a plan never executed at all. Exactly right. It's like we're talking directly to Congress right now. Consistently talking to Congress right now. Yes, yes. Never does any good. April is in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, April.
Starting point is 01:45:54 How are you? Hey, Mr. Ramsey. How are you doing? Having trouble hearing you, darling. Can you speak directly into your phone? Hey, Mr. Ramsey. Can you hear me now? Nope.
Starting point is 01:46:04 We'll put you on hold to see if we can get a good connection that's usable open phones here at 888-825-5225 you guys jump in and we'll talk with you so can the um the thing i have learned you know back to that theodore roosevelt quote in any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing. The thing I figured out in decision-making in the financial world is that people who get paralysis of the analysis never invest. You're better off to just get started investing.
Starting point is 01:46:44 So an example of that is, as we studied the, did the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America, 10,167 of them, we found that they weren't particular, they were not in the top 1% or even 5% of high quality investors. In other words, they weren't super knowledgeable super sophisticated yeah they weren't any of those things okay instead uh the the mutual funds that they had picked out were they were above average but they weren't like the best mutual funds on the planet or the highest performing they hadn't studied every nuance of the mutual fund and picked out the top fund of every category. They just picked out good, above-average funds and put money in them all the time.
Starting point is 01:47:35 Consistency. All the time. The point is, do something is so much better than sitting around and having a freaking theory. That's absolutely right. There's also a leadership application, too. When leaders have tough decisions that have to be made, weak leaders do nothing at all. They just sit there and they stew and they look for polls or what's the cranky people in the office going to say if I do this, as opposed to taking the best information you have at the time and making the best decision that you can.
Starting point is 01:48:05 Is it ultimately going to be the right decision? You don't know. That's leadership. And so this applies in so many areas. It's just you've got to do something. Just show up and lead. So, you know, do something. Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Starting point is 01:48:24 April is in Charlotte. Let's try it again, April, see if you cleared up. How are you doing? Hey, Mr. Ramsey, can you hear me now? Just barely. You cut out half the call. How can we help? I recently had a house fire about a month ago.
Starting point is 01:48:41 We're no longer able to live in the home. And since then, I kind of made the decision that me and my husband need to separate. And so my sister had said that she would help me to put a down payment on a house by borrowing escrow on my mom's house that she owns. With the GoFundMe that was set up and money that I've had donated and what I've been putting back, I've managed to get about $8,000 in the past month put back. And so my worry is that if she borrows escrow on my mom's house and something was to happen to me, she'd be in a big financial burden, which I don't want to do to her. And I don't want to get myself in over my head.
Starting point is 01:49:28 So I have found two rental properties that I'm considering with me and my daughter. One is $900 a month for a two-bedroom, two-bath mobile home in a mobile home park on a well. The other one is $1,600 a month, it's a three bedroom, two bath home with city water. The hiccup is the one that's 900 is 40 minutes away from her school and most of my employment. And the other one is two minutes away from her school and closer to my employment. What do you mean? I am a mobile, um, I make about $4,000 a month. I am a mobile dog groomer. I've had my own business for 11 years. So April, you've had a lot of trauma. Yeah, a lot.
Starting point is 01:50:14 A lot of things happen to you. I mean, if you've got a marriage that's going sideways and you had a house fire, those are two very, very traumatic things. It's very difficult to make decisions in the middle of all that. Okay? So I'm sorry. So you're hustling around trying to find a place to land, and that all makes sense. The great news is in Charlotte, North Carolina, there's more than two properties for rent.
Starting point is 01:50:42 Well, we're not really in Charlotte. He asked the closest city um we're in a little town called rockwell um so there's not there's not a whole lot but there's more than two there's more than two there's more there's more than two and you need to find another one because neither one of these work one's too expensive and the other one's weird and outside of the realm of reasonableness. And you've already talked yourself out of it. Okay. So, and you definitely don't need to buy a house in the middle of all this trauma.
Starting point is 01:51:17 You're going to make a really bad decision there. So please go find you something to rent that's close to work and that you can afford. That's simple. And maybe it's a two-bedroom apartment instead of a three-bedroom house or a two-bedroom trailer 40 minutes away on well water. Nothing wrong with well water, by the way. I'm just thinking, like, I'm not going to have a water payment if I'm on a well. That would be nice, but that's not true.
Starting point is 01:51:47 You've got problems a lot bigger than a water payment, kiddo. Yes, sir. You know, you can handle a water payment if you get an $1,100 property to rent, which you can actually afford that's close enough to work, close enough to her school. Okay? And you're going to be okay then. But any time, we were just talking about decisions before we picked up with you and anytime the only options i have and you've given
Starting point is 01:52:12 me three of them and they're all bad options all that means is i don't have enough options yet i need more i need more things to consider buying is a bad idea with all the stuff you've been through you've had a really hard time right now it's a horrible time to be buying for you please don't buy and living out of town you've already decided you already decided you weren't doing that and you were trying to justify doing the one that's too expensive and so you've already decided you weren't doing the trailer because you know like so another problem that I'm having is, um, my husband advised me not to claim my income because most of my work is cash. Um, so when I'm going to rent, no,
Starting point is 01:52:55 they're not wanting to really rent to me because I don't have employment history. Um, it was recommended to me to get reference letters from people that I work for and people that I pay make payments to showing that I can make the payments reference letters from people that I work for and people that I make payments to, showing that I can make the payments and that I work. Do you have a business account for your business? I do not. Okay, so you're not even depositing this money, you're just walking around with cash in your
Starting point is 01:53:18 pocket. No, because he's advised me not to claim it and so I'm scared that the IRS is going to find out that I've got money that I can't prove prove where it come from this guy's a real peach yeah okay so uh yeah you need to start you need to start paying your taxes and you set up a business you need to set up a business checking account and in the meantime though you can sit down with someone and go look i've got these 16 clients i do this on a cash basis i'm a landlord if someone sat down to me and said they were mobile dog groomer and they had 65 clients i can do the math and know you can pay the bill okay and so and and that's not scaring me as a landlord now
Starting point is 01:53:58 if you got some little you know person that doesn't know that doesn't have any power in some apartment complex or something that might be harder but you can sit down and work your way through this April. You got to find some more options. Don't justify or rationalize in the middle of all this pain into bad decisions. It's a bad idea. Slow down. You can do this. You can do this. And, uh, Hey, I'm sorry. We picked you up a minute ago and couldn't get through. This is the Ramsey show. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Dr. John Deloney here. Mental and emotional health challenges, broken relationships,
Starting point is 01:54:56 it's all just part of life, but they don't have to define you. The Dr. John Deloney Show is here to help. It's a collar-driven podcast where you can get practical advice on dealing with anxiety, loneliness, depression, relationship challenges, your kids, and so much more. Listen to questions from our callers, or if you're walking through a tough situation and need some help, give me a call. You were never meant to do life alone, and that's what this podcast is all about. Follow along on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or the Ramsey Network app. Remember, you're worth being well.

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