The Ramsey Show - Why the Pain of Financial Infidelity is Deep

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

📱Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. John Delony & George Kamel answer your questions and discuss: "I have $160K of debt, should I file for bankruptcy?" "How do I grow my i...ncome without missing family time?" "How can we reduce our monthly expenses?" "I have a low-paying job in an expensive state," "My husband put us $180K in debt," Support Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries 🏡 Get started today with Churchill Mortgage 🏦 Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 💻 Visit NetSuite today to learn more 🗂️ Use promo code RAMSEY for18% off at The Nokbox 🏛Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY 🔐 Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Next Steps 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! 🎟️ See Dave and John LIVE in a city near you! 🏠 Find a Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agent 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! Listen to more from Ramsey Network 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What up, what up? This is the Ramsey Show. I'm John Delaney joined by the great George Campbell. Live from Nashville, Tennessee, we are taking your calls on your money building wealth doing work that you love and creating and sustaining and hanging on to great relationships so glad that you're with us today we're taking live calls triple eight eight two five five two two five it's triple eight eight two five five two two five we have a packed house out here in the audience good to see everybody coming to visit us here in,
Starting point is 00:00:46 actually we're in Franklin, just north of Nashville, but we are glad you are with us as well. Let's go out to Milwaukee. No, no, no, no, no, let's go out to Dallas, detune and talk to Cyrus. Hey Cyrus, what's up man? Hello, how you doing? Doing outstanding, my man, what's up?
Starting point is 00:01:04 So yes, I am 26. I have $160,000 with the debt, and I am wondering if I should file for chapter 7 bankruptcy. Why'd you jump to that conclusion? What makes you think you can't crawl out of this? think you can't crawl out of this? Well, I've been working a lot two jobs constantly. Not really able to get anywhere. Recently, about a year ago, I caught a case for a felony charge and I am still going on actively with that case trying to get probation.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Um, so it's been very difficult for me to find another job now that my background check is showing a felony charge. Um, so what are you doing now for work? Yeah. So I'm working on Amazon. Um, I'm making, uh, about $4,100 a month at a minimum. I can potentially make more depending on if they allow me to get overtime or work a six
Starting point is 00:02:12 day. I'm working five days there right now. Last year I made $60,000 off of it, off of Amazon loan. But I'm just like drowning right now with payments and I did, I rounded up all my minimum payments for all my loans and everything and my minimum is $5,300 a month and that's just on minimum payments. That's not including food or rent or anything else. How have you made it so far? What's getting you through every month
Starting point is 00:02:52 if you're going underwater? So how did I make it so far? Well, I've been doing- Are you going further into debt every month? No, no. So I'm tapped out. I can't even get the debt consolidation loan. My credit is shot. What kind of debt is this? What is this debt, man? Can you break down the 160? Yeah, so I have
Starting point is 00:03:15 a vehicle that's 51,000 I left on it. 51,000? Yeah, it's a Tesla Model Y Performance. Oh, not a Tesla. What's it worth? Yeah Not 51,000 How much? 35,000. Okay What else?
Starting point is 00:03:35 I have nine credit cards that are total of $55,000 with the day on that Okay a total of $55,000 worth of debt on that. Okay. And then I have the rest of my loans, which is 98,000, which is three personal loans and then my auto loan. Your other what? My auto loan. Auto loan.
Starting point is 00:04:02 You have another auto loan? No, no, no, it's the Tesla. Okay. So you got 51K on the car, What? My auto loan. Auto loan. You have another auto loan? Yeah. No, no, no. It's the Tesla. Okay. So you've got $51K on the car, nine credit cards that are $55K, and then the other, what is that, another $50 or $60 is in personal loans? No.
Starting point is 00:04:19 So total with the car, it's $98K. So it would be another like $40 personal. Okay. What where did all this money go? What have you been spending on? So we're talking a hundred K and just spending. Yeah to make a long story short I mentioned I had a three year old daughter I got in I was in a relationship with this woman. Basically she was unfaithful to me. We broke up. Ever since then, I've been trying to honestly
Starting point is 00:04:55 repair our relationship for our child. And also because, you know, it's the woman that I love and care about. Well, long story short, it's been years of nonstop taking on her debts, paying for food and basically living like two households the whole time. And yeah, basically just... So she's been scamming you for this. I mean, she's been just leeching off you all this time, huh?
Starting point is 00:05:27 Yes, yes. And now, you know, recently I got, you know, we, you know, I moved... We basically broke up again and I'm left with all this and I just... She doesn't want to make it work and I've been continuing trying to make it work for my child and I just... This is where I'm at now. Well hold on, making it work for your child is different than digging a hundred and fifty hundred sixty thousand dollar hole trying to impress a girl. Yeah. Those are two different things and you have lied yourself for the last two or three years saying I'm quote-unquote doing this for
Starting point is 00:06:04 the baby but you've been running around like a like with your peacock feathers out trying to trying to woo this woman and she's been just happy to take your money happy to take all your your stuff but it was it wasn't about that girl and now again I think you love your daughter I think you're I think you're working as hard as you can but man you got to let the fantasy of this woman go. It's burying you. What's this felony charge about? So it was, she had a guy in my apartment
Starting point is 00:06:33 for the second time. All right, let's do this. Let's stop there. I don't want you to say something that's gonna get subpoenaed on the air. Let's just roll back to the money part. Is that cool? Are you living alone right now?
Starting point is 00:06:41 Let's just roll back to the money part. Is that cool? Are you living alone right now? So I was going back to my parents and her, I was in my car for a month. Last month I was in for a whole month just because I couldn't go back to either one. So now I am back with my parents. They stopped drinking supposedly,
Starting point is 00:07:03 so I'm there for now. And this is another reason why I was thinking about bankruptcy just because I have a case going on, I'm an unstable household, I can't rely on nobody right now. I'm a worker. I, two years ago I made 93,000 working doubles. I've been working non-stop two jobs for
Starting point is 00:07:27 the last few years but bro if you if you if you make 98 three years in a row you're out no no no I'm telling you like I want you to hear George and I say we believe in you if you make 90 grand for three years in a row just straight hustling you'll be out you'll be free yeah listen to me it'll be free if you file bankruptcy you're putting a chain around your neck and you're jumping into a lake yeah the problem I have is I've been applying for jobs in my record with the felony charge I got it I got it it's very the deck the deck is is firmly stacked against you until you get that clear.
Starting point is 00:08:08 100 percent. Yeah, but I have never one time. I mean, I've never. The guy who mows my lawn, I don't know if he's got a felony charge, he just does a great job, right? I mean, there's work to be had. It's not traditional work and it's not fun work and it is hard grinding hot cold work, but there's work. What do you think, George?
Starting point is 00:08:28 Yeah, there's no shortcuts here. We've got to get your income up ASAP. I would not file bankruptcy. You can get out of this, but it's going to take three years of hustle throwing 50 grand at the debt. And that means getting that income up and man, you're going to have to get creative.
Starting point is 00:08:41 You might have to get a roommate or two, keep living with the parents, do what you got to do, but do not throw that chain around you just yet. Hey you guys, when you go against what society thinks is quote normal, like avoiding debt for example, it might seem weird at first and that is totally okay. We want you to be weird
Starting point is 00:09:00 if that means you're doing things intentionally, including how you spend your healthcare dollars. And one way to be intentional is with Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM isn't health insurance. They're a health cost sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of healthcare costs
Starting point is 00:09:17 without sacrificing their freedom. Programs start as low as $98 a month. Find out more and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. All right, we are back. I'm John Delaney joined by George Campbell, 88825, 5225, taking your calls on money and work and life, your mental and emotional health,
Starting point is 00:09:41 whatever you got going on. I've got this Qz calm looks like an Internet II article, but here's what it says says Talking about money makes people more uncomfortable than talking about politics and religion says the survey here That's actually been George. That's been one of my personal experiences sitting with hurting people, man. I remember back to, I've talked about this on the show, I remember back to my practicum days
Starting point is 00:10:09 when I was seeing clients, I mean, people talk about every, everything. Their past, their future, like really hard stuff, partners they've had, like everything. Did not wanna talk about debt, money. It just was too sensitive a topic. I think is it too personal?
Starting point is 00:10:29 Is there too much shame and baggage connected to that? Versus politics and religion, there's just like a tribe you're sort of connected to. Yeah, that's the only thing I've been able to distill down and again, I'm just speculating here is one, politics, religion, questions about sex, all those are, they're tribal, right? You can get on the internet and find a gang, right?
Starting point is 00:10:51 When it comes to your money, when you distill all the way down, there's that one question, what are you worth? And there's just nowhere to hide, it's just you. And what, how much money have you earned? What vacations have you gone on or not gone on? How much debt do you have? How much do you owe? It just all comes down, gone on or not gone on? How much debt do you have?
Starting point is 00:11:05 How much do you owe? It just all comes down. And I think we put so much pressure on that one number. And here's what I hate about it. I mean, there's an old saying among counselors and therapists, secrets will kill you, right? And so if you are out there talking about stuff and trying to get well and get healthy,
Starting point is 00:11:23 but you can't, you feel so much shame around how much money you owe, or I don't even know how the stuff works. And I wish, you know what it comes to the mechanics of it? I wish people would believe me when I tell people, I co-host this show and I text you on Saturdays asking you about a particular fund, or I text or talk to Dave about a particular question.
Starting point is 00:11:46 We're always asking each other stuff. But I think there's an illusion that if you have a show or if you're on the internet, you know everything about everything. So I feel embarrassed, I'm just not gonna ask anybody anything, people just sit in it and they just keep making the same choices over and over. And they look up like the last caller
Starting point is 00:12:01 and 160 grand in the hole, right? It's a zoo, man. It's a zoo. Wild. Yeah. I mean, that's on the Ramsey show. We're trying to make talking about money normal in a good way. Not, you know, there's things that you shouldn't share at Thanksgiving dinner. It says here only 14% said money is a normal topic at holiday gatherings as friends and family. Don't go home. I think it should be lower than that.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Yeah. Don't go home and be like, all right, we're going to go on the table. We're going to pass the roles, Aunt Janet, and then we're gonna see everybody, tell everybody what they make. Who has the most debt? Yeah, who made the most money this year? Let's go, Bill. Yeah, Dave Ramsey's not sitting around
Starting point is 00:12:32 the Thanksgiving table talking about, hey guys, what's your favorite mutual fund lately? Let's talk, stock returns. Yeah, and I guess he could go on the table and ask everybody what they make, but all his kids work for him, so he kinda knows, right? He knows. He knows.
Starting point is 00:12:44 But this is the survey said 62% of people were highly uncomfortable and ask everybody what they make, but all his kids work for him, so he kinda knows, right? He knows. He knows. But this is the survey said 62% of people were highly uncomfortable sharing their financial details with friends and family. 38% said they're comfortable sharing bank information with family members and close friends. That should be 0%. Bank information?
Starting point is 00:12:58 That's a very, I mean, that's private. It's like saying, well, I don't wanna share my social security number. I'm uncomfortable talking about. Yeah, that's a little personal. But I do't wanna share my social security number, I'm uncomfortable talking about. Yeah, that's a little personal. But I do think we should talk about money goals, money challenges, we don't have to get into specifics. But we talk about this with relationships.
Starting point is 00:13:13 It's good to talk about money values early on. You don't need to get into here's how much debt I have, here's how much I make on the first date. But it's important to see, hey, what was money like for you growing up? And I also think this though, George, I do think I can see, hey, what was money like for you growing up? And I also think this, though, George, I do think I can see money is such a sensitive topic that I can imagine going home and saying, hey, had a great year.
Starting point is 00:13:35 And you got one family member that's like, oh, did we now? Ooh, George is so rich, right? Or that's immediately followed by a cousin, be like, hey man, I need 40 bucks, can I? Right, so I get it, but that, when everybody's sitting on a table, or everyone's sitting on a friend group is holding on to something like, hey, I'm scared.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Yeah. Right, or I don't know how I'm gonna make my payments, or hey, I had a really good year, can I celebrate with somebody? I'll tell you this, the first year on your past, change of future at number one, it was a good year, can I celebrate with somebody? I'll tell you this, the first year on your past, change of future at number one, it was a good year. I never had anything like it.
Starting point is 00:14:09 I'm a cop's kid, right? My dad was a cop and a minister. My wife was raised by school teachers. It was a new year for us. I called one friend and I was like, I just need to tell somebody. And it was a cool little moment. He's a banker and so I can never catch him.
Starting point is 00:14:22 But he was like, but it was a cool moment to celebrate. And so you've gotta have people that you talk about, things you're scared about, talk about things that you can celebrate together. Absolutely, well I imagine there's a spectrum from if you're broke and you talk about money, there's a lot of shame. And if you're super well off and you talk about money,
Starting point is 00:14:38 there's a lot of guilt. And so is there like this middle ground of everyone else is like, hey, we'll talk about it, I don't care. Yeah, so I think for me it comes back to you've got to find some people You got to find some people and it doesn't have to be your family Doesn't have to be your immediate group of friends, but you need to find some people that you can have conversations about Politics about your faith about this one says 71% of people are more comfortable commenting on their weight 81% said they're comfortable discussing their health.
Starting point is 00:15:07 78% said they openly discussed their political opinions or affiliation. 81% said they would openly discuss their religious views and we ain't talking about money, right? So we gotta have places where we can just fully let our hair down and say, I'm not all right. Or can we just cheer for a second? I think those are important to report.
Starting point is 00:15:24 And there's a right way to do it. I personally, as much as I talk about money for work, I don't do it unsolicited. I don't just like hang out with friends, I'm like, hey man, let's talk about your financial goals. Where are we at? I only talk about money when I'm asked about it, or when people are openly sharing
Starting point is 00:15:38 and they're looking for an opinion. There you go. And I think that's the important part. No one's looking for opinion. Even if you're like the Ramsey, you know, diehard fan, it's not the time to just like ram it down their throat and be like, well, you better follow the Ramsey plan or else nobody's excited by that.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yeah, or meeting somebody in the grocery store, being like, guess what? I'm a millionaire. And they're like, yeah, dude, I can't afford eggs, right? So there's a balance to it. I do love when someone passes me in Costco and they don't even say hi, they just go, paying cash for that and they just keep walking.
Starting point is 00:16:08 And it's just like an unspoken language we have together. So great. Well, good on you. I was at a jeweler and the girl there- Ooh, that was a flex. That was a good- I was getting a watch repaired, John. Okay, sure.
Starting point is 00:16:19 And she immediately, it was like, I realized I was like a priest. It was a confessional. She saw me and she went, I have a car loan, but it's not that much, it's the only thing I have, there's $22,000 left, I'm working hard to pay it. I was like, whoa, hey, release the guilt, Elise, come on.
Starting point is 00:16:33 So she's working on it. I gave her a book and she's on the path. And so now she reports back anytime I see her. It's great. Money confessional. I won't even tell you some of the strange conversations I've had waiting in airport lines and in bathrooms and... I can't, I mean, I talk about money.
Starting point is 00:16:47 You're talking about mental health, relationships, intimacy, the things people probably share with you unsolicited. I will, I can't possibly be top sitting at an airport. I'm pretty sure... Not in a bathroom. Please tell me they don't do this in a bathroom. That's happened a few times in a bathroom. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Like at a stall. I thought there was an unspoken like guy rule. Bro, you just stare at the tile right ahead of you. We all know that. You stare at the tile. But I've had two different times, someone looks over and they're like, oh hey, you're on that show.
Starting point is 00:17:14 And I'm like, just look at the tile, man. And they're like, hey, you know, so me and my wife, and it's like not a good time. And they're like, they're always great. Like, oh, you're right, you're right, you're right. And I understand people get excited. But I have had one in the airport, in DFW airport, I think it was Dallas Love Field, when a couple came up and just started talking about their sex life.
Starting point is 00:17:35 It was just live therapy. I looked at it, I was like, it's not great time. Like I'm super, it means the world to me all the time to the show, but kind of weird. And you can see it as they're talking, yeah, we just made this exchange super weird. We're just gonna go to Whataburger and call it, guys. Good to see you guys. So lesson learned here, there's a context and a place
Starting point is 00:17:55 and an environment, a group that it's wise to talk about this stuff. And then other times there's good reason not to talk about it. But I will say, you have to find people that you can talk about hard things with, period. I think that's why Financial peace University has been so powerful Years it's called people into a room you show up and you go. Oh, I'm not the only knucklehead that made mistakes
Starting point is 00:18:12 Oh, okay. We're all in this thing together. Oh, we're not gonna just sit here and ridicule each other's mistakes We're gonna just focus on getting better wonderful and you get to weep together and every every week you walk in and you see it An increasingly familiar group of people that's all doing hard stuff together and you know celebrate together. And I actually think that's an unspoken curse on our current generation is everybody talks about their problems. Like what happened? Who said this?
Starting point is 00:18:42 Can you believe this? Oh my gosh, so and so's running for president. What? No, none of us are very few of us have people they can call and speak Hey, can I just say something awesome happened today? My marriage is amazing. My kids doing great Can I just say that out loud and we cheer each other on right? It's so fine people that you could tell the hard stuff to you but also find people you could tell the great stuff to Especially about your money triple 8 8 2 5 5 2 2 5, this is The Ramsey Show, we'll be right back. Mortgage rates have dropped, so if you're thinking about buying a home in the next year,
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Starting point is 00:19:51 We just launched a brand new tour. Me, John Delaney, and my buddy Dave Ramsey are hitting the road, coming to a city near you for the Money in Relationships Tour. It's six cities, it's the raddest theaters in the nation and we're putting a new twist on it. Every stop is going to be an interactive night where you as the audience are going to vote on what we talk about. So if you're if you see the list of things we're going to put some
Starting point is 00:20:17 topics up and you'll get to pick from 20 or 30. I don't know how many they're gonna be up there and it's just gonna be like all right here we go let's go. So that way we don't come to you and play the songs that we want to play we're gonna come and we're gonna play the songs you guys want to hear we talking about money and relationships and so much more every night is gonna be different I promise you you're gonna laugh I promise you if we do our jobs you're gonna leave with some action items to go change your life and probably be a shed a tear or two as well. We're gonna
Starting point is 00:20:46 have a blast. We're kicking off in Louisville on April 21st, 2025 and then hitting up Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth and Kansas City. Early bird pricing is happening right now. Get your tickets to the Money Relationships Tour at ramsysolutions.com slash tour. ramsysolutions.com slash tour. Ramsysolutions.com slash tour. And if you're checking this out on YouTube or podcast, it's in the show notes. All right, let's go out to Milwaukee and talk to Alex. What up Alex, how we doing?
Starting point is 00:21:15 Hey, how you doing? We're doing all right, brother. What's up? I was calling in cause I just, I do pretty well. I do pretty well compared to everybody else and I just feel like I'm stuck. What does that mean? I'm a pretty ambitious guy.
Starting point is 00:21:29 What is pretty well compared to everybody else? I make probably close to $400,000 a year. Okay. And I just but I. That puts you in the top, top 1% of any human who's ever existed in human history. Yeah, I guess I'm just like an ambitious person and I kind of feel stuck. I don't know what to do if I continue to grow.
Starting point is 00:21:52 I've done a couple different things and they didn't pan out very well and I failed at them. But I've done a couple other things that I've well- What do you do for a living? So, my main income is I own a restaurant and then my other couple things I do I also own a lube and then I have to do real estate Now what a real estate no they weren't before that a lube a quick lube. Oh Okay. Now. I didn't know the industry lingo. Okay, that helps me. What's a quick lube? Yeah Lube lube? Yeah. A quick lube.
Starting point is 00:22:25 L-U-B-E. There you go. Yep. I thought you were talking about those sleds that they have at the bob sledding thing. I thought you were talking about you're French and you owned the Louvre Art Museum. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Okay, sweet. So, successful entrepreneur. Yeah, which one of these is your main breadwinner? Yes, the Russia. Okay, and what's your question? My question is how I continue to grow. I've experienced a couple of failures in the last couple of years with opening new businesses
Starting point is 00:22:58 and they didn't turn well. I don't really understand like, loss RHAs and all that kind of stuff. Like my concept has always been invest in stuff. And that'll be like- What do you mean grow? Like are you talking about you want to invest in retirement? Are we talking about growing your income?
Starting point is 00:23:13 Yeah, in the medical community, unchecked growth is called cancer. So if you just wake up every day and like, I gotta grow, I gotta grow! Like you're gonna implode. What are you aiming for? What are you trying to aim what are you aiming for what are you trying to get to I just I want to grow as a business person I want to be able to create generational wealth and like I know some people might feel like I've already done that but I just feel like I thought so much more to
Starting point is 00:23:36 accomplish yeah I know but it sounds like you're running from something what are you running from because listen Dave Ramsey is worth a god-awful amount of money, and he is obsessed pathologically with helping hurting people. And money is just the byproduct of this obsession to help people be free. You have an obsession right now with, I gotta get more, and I gotta get more, and I gotta get more. And usually for guys like you that comes at the expense of their families of their romantic partners of their kids of their health of everything
Starting point is 00:24:12 and and that's true I am mean my wife had some problems a couple years ago and I realigned my priorities with my family and that's gotten a lot better and we're everything got fixed and we're a lot better and where everything got fixed and we're a lot happy and we're brought you know I know everything didn't get fixed because I've been married for 20-something years isn't just it's not like a car engine it's something you continue to grow together with what what what's your ultimate question what are you running from what are you scared of no I think I just what is driving the insatiable need for
Starting point is 00:24:47 growth. It sounds like you watched a Grant Cardone video and now you're just like, bro, I got a 10x I got a 10x. Like what is all what you make $400,000 a year. Exhale. I don't know if it's competition. I'm not I'm not envious anybody. But I look at my peers and I feel like I don't know if it's competition and I'm not, I'm not envy of anybody but I look at my peers and I feel like I should be doing better. That's the definition of envy!
Starting point is 00:25:10 That's what it is! I mean like I'm not what I'm trying to say like I don't, I'm not mad at what they have I just like I'm happy for them and I'd like to learn. I'd like to learn. I like to hear people talk that do better than me. I want to learn. It's not that I wish them bad or I want like I, I want to like oh I'm angry at it. It was nothing like that. It's just like I'm competitive that way in this regard. All right, here's your homework. You ready for your homework?
Starting point is 00:25:31 You're not gonna like it. Yeah. Promise me, say I promise I'll do whatever you tell me. I promise I'll do what you tell me. All right, you just said that in front of millions of people. If you lie, you'll probably get struck by lightning. Probably not, but it's just fun to say that. All right, number one, you cannot get on TikTok or Instagram for 30 days. I don't do those anyways. I'm just telling you. Number one, no social media for 30 days. Number two, you have to go for a walk with your wife
Starting point is 00:25:55 in the morning or in the evening with no phones, no devices for at least 30 minutes every day for 30 days. Number two, how many kids you got? Four. How many kids you got? I got four. You have four kids? How old? I got twins that are four and then a five and a six year old. Okay, when I ask you what you're running from, one of the most common questions I hear, or common answers I get from high performing dads, and when I say high performing, high earner dads, is that they look at the chaos at home and they don't know what to do
Starting point is 00:26:28 They don't know how to be a dad of four kids They don't know to be a husband of a wife of four kids They it's just chaos and they think in their heads the greatest gift I could give my families to not be here and instead to Go make money And if you are making money to help people if you're making money to change a generational situation Go get it If you're hiding from your family Stop
Starting point is 00:26:55 So I want you to plan something with each one of those kids And it could be five minutes or ten minutes I want you to practice plugging in at your home. Do bedtimes. Not for 30 days, not for the rest of your life. I'm not telling you to... If anyone makes 400 grand, you need to stop what you're doing. I'm not saying it at all. But if you had a desire in your heart to provide good oil change services for people, to provide excellent food for people, I would tell you. George will walk you through how to do all that.
Starting point is 00:27:25 But I don't hear that. I hear you running, dude, and running and running. And those four kids at some point are gonna start asking what was so amazing about that restaurant that he gave us up for that thing. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. I just want you to exhale for a second.
Starting point is 00:27:43 And dude, I want you to make $5 million a year. It's not about the money. It's about George and I can just hear in your voice, man. You're not comfortable in your own skin. You're doing a pretty amazing job. Here's the best question to ask yourself, Alex. I've talked and hung out with all these people who are very successful young guys making crazy money, networks of $20 million.
Starting point is 00:28:04 And the question I think is so powerful for you to ask is this, two questions or three words, and then what? I make 500,000 and then what? I make a million and then what? Then I start five more businesses and then what? You see where that's getting to? There's no real purpose behind it other than, well, because more is better.
Starting point is 00:28:23 It's like a toddler mentality, right? Yeah. At some point we have to learn also how to be content and how to have peace. Otherwise it's going to destroy you. Against that 400 grand how much do you owe? How much money do you owe? I don't know what's an essential amount but it doesn't come out of like my personal earnings because my real estate pays for it all like I buy property They always put 20% down. How leveraged are you? So I probably like all in all like with everything my personal and you know financial and work stuff I'm probably like 1.1. Okay. Here's what you're doing. You're sitting on a time bomb, brother
Starting point is 00:29:00 You owe 1.1 million dollars You owe 1.1 million dollars. And I know the TikTok bros and Instagram bros, like bro, you gotta leverage this to borrow this, the bank's gonna, arbitrage. You're sitting on a bomb and you know who knows it? Your nervous system. Your nervous system. Gotta slow down, brother.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Hang on the line, I'm gonna send you Financial Peace University on us. I want you to watch it. Control-Alt-Delete, get some peace in your life. We'll be right back. I've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible air people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance when you have to think through how am I gonna
Starting point is 00:29:50 pay my bills in the middle next week yeah in the middle of all that grief like it's just it is it's terrible so life insurance is the one thing especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive Xander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance and it doesn't's inexpensive. Xander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much because Xander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You got to say it out loud and you got to say I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them
Starting point is 00:30:16 and taking the time to put this stuff in place. It costs those stinking pizza. To get a free quote call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282 or go to zander.com. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm John Delaney joined by George Campbell. Ramsey Show question of the day is brought to you by WhyRefi. Hey, we've all made money mistakes. If you have defaulted private student
Starting point is 00:30:45 loans we're not judging you. George might be judging you but I'm not judging you. But we are saying you can do something about it. Contact Y ReFi. Y ReFi was created for people in your exact situation. Go to Yreify.com slash Ramsey that's the letter Y R E F Y-F-Y.com slash Ramsey to check it out. May not be available in all states. Today's question comes from Declan in Washington. Together my wife and I earn around 300,000 a year.
Starting point is 00:31:15 We both enjoy buying and building Legos together and with our sons. We have a large Lego collection which I've been working on since I was a little kid. We're in baby steps four, five, and six. How much money is too much money to spend on hobbies like Legos? We've been spending 400 to 800 bucks a month for the last six or so months. It's been a blast and it's provided some really great quality time for our family. Great question. So regardless if you're into Legos, it's a good question of how much should you spend on hobbies in the budget?
Starting point is 00:31:44 Yeah, people want parameters. They want good question. How much should you spend on hobbies in the budget? Yeah. People want parameters, they want the percentage. How much is too much? That's a good question for me. I'm not a Legos guy, but I like just, I don't know, it's like buying stuff. So yeah, help me out George. On behalf of the Declans and the Johns of the world,
Starting point is 00:31:59 is there a percentage? Yeah, the bad news is I cannot give you a prescriptive percentage, cause that would be insane. Like if you make a million dollars, it's okay to spend 100,000 on your hobby, and if you make $20,000, you can only spend 200. So what I would say is, if it feels like it's too much, that's probably a good gut check.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Your body's saying, hey, let's slow down. Now these people make $300,000, they're in baby steps four, five, six, meaning they're debt free with an emergency fund. And therefore, if that's where they want to spend their money, that's totally fine with me. And that's probably a shocking answer. Because here's the thing, some people are really into golf.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Some of these golf memberships, these country clubs. You're paying more than 400 bucks a month for golf. It's 800 bucks a month just for the pleasure of being part of the country club. No, that's what it costs to sneeze on the course. Exactly. 800 bucks. It's an initiation fee of your first born child, I think. And so I don't judge people's decisions
Starting point is 00:32:48 for what they spend their money on in their hobbies. What I do judge is if they're going into debt for it and if they're doing it at the expense of their financial future. There you go. So I would say four to 800 bucks just on a gut check, when you make 300 grand a year, you're probably making,
Starting point is 00:33:03 we're talking what 15 to 20 grand a month. So to spend 800 bucks as a year, you're probably making, we're talking what, 15 to 20 grand a month. So to spend 800 bucks as a percentage, you're talking it's a fraction of your world. So I would say if that's what you're into right now, go for it, it probably won't be a forever hobby that you spend $800 a month for the next 20 years. I also wanna say this, here's where I'm in support of Declan here.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Declan did not try, like I have been guilty of with like my guitars or other people with their beanie babies or whatever. Is trying to say I spend this money but it's somehow an investment. I love that Declan just straight up said, I love doing this with my family. It's a way we bring ourselves together.
Starting point is 00:33:42 I've been doing this since I was a kid. I love it. We're pretty much loaded and is this okay? And for me, it doesn't sound like there's a pathology around it. You're not trying to justify it. You're not trying to like twist up some magical story about how this is all going to work out for you financially in the end. This is just, dude, I like doing it. We make a ton of money. I'm assuming you're putting money away in four, five and six. I'm assuming you're putting money away in four, five, and six. I'm assuming you're super generous. Can I tell you, here's a balance I've struck with myself. I still have a lot of, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:34:13 purchasing guilt, if you will, just because of how I grew up. We grew up with that a lot. And so maybe come up with an arrangement that I'm gonna buy some Legos, but I'm give extra, right? I'm gonna tip extra this month or I've made some deals with myself as a way to, it's not real, I just made it up. It's just for me, but it's, I'm gonna buy this guitar
Starting point is 00:34:35 but I'm gonna be extra generous in these other areas as a way to balance the cost. That's a great point. And for me, I'm pretty goal-oriented. So if I had a mortgage to pay off and college to save up for, I would say, all right, we're gonna limit if I had a mortgage to pay off and college to save up for, I would say, all right, we're gonna limit this to 400 a month.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Anything above and beyond that, we're gonna throw toward the mortgage. There you go. And maybe pay the mortgage principal first, that extra, before we buy the Legos, and whatever's left becomes the play Lego money. Becomes Lego money, that's right. And so I think that is a better approach to it
Starting point is 00:35:00 if you did want some balance. And again, I see a mortgage payment, I see the interest tracking up, I'm less likely to wanna go buy an extra 400- That's my hobby, right? Then baby step seven, now we get to do some crazy outrageous things because we don't owe anyone money. With your Legos.
Starting point is 00:35:15 College is covered. All right, let's go out to Pensacola and talk to Ryan. Hey, Ryan, what's up, dude? Hey, guys, how's it going? Doing all right, brother. What's up, dude? Hey guys, how's it going? Doing all right, brother. What's up? Hey, so my situation now is my wife is no longer working full-time. She just gave birth to our second child a few months ago.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Woo! And yeah, we've got a two and a half year old son already. Hey Ryan, I get a lot of grief for interrupting, but can I interrupt you real quick? Sure, go ahead. No one's listening, just me and you real quick. Let's rephrase how you said that, okay? The way you phrased that was,
Starting point is 00:35:51 well my wife quit working, she gave birth to a kid, as though she messed something up. So let's flip it around. Hey dude, this is so exciting. We just had our second kid, and my wife is staying home with the baby. Say it like that Okay, well that's all right, so we just had our second child and my wife is for the most part staying home with the baby
Starting point is 00:36:18 Very cool. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, get your question Yeah, so We've got substantial amount of debt You know we have been kind of living a little bit above our Yeah, so we've got substantial amount of debt. We have been kind of living a little bit above our means, but it has been manageable when we were both working full time. Now I'm the primary moneymaker in the house and things are starting to stack up now. We've kind of burned through our savings
Starting point is 00:36:40 over the past year. So now we're kind of looking at what can we do to you know kind of lower our monthly expenses we've already trimmed the fat as much as we can I don't play golf on the weekends anymore we don't go out to eat at restaurants anymore I've got our grocery bill down pretty low every month but it's still getting a little out of hand. What's out of hand? Is it your minimum debt payments? What is your total? Is your wife spending a lot of money?
Starting point is 00:37:11 Yeah, so most of our debt is tied up in two vehicle payments that are both upside down. And How upside down? Five grand or twenty grand? And... How upside down? My wife has... Five grand or 20 grand? No. Her car is...
Starting point is 00:37:28 We owe 23,000 on it, and it's worth about 17. Okay. And my truck, we owe 15,000 on it, and it's worth about 12. Okay. And is that private party value? How'd you get to those numbers of what it's worth? Yeah, private party value on KBB. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:44 So we have a deficit here of nine grand. What's left in savings, if anything? Nothing. So, there's about 4,000 in savings a year ago, and we've just been eating through that slowly trying to keep up with things. We've got a personal loan that's 9,000, and I've got a credit card that's 2,500, and then we We got various little small credit cards that I'll total up to about a I'm gonna let George walk you through the nuts and bolts I just want to say this and I'm gonna get some hate for it, but it is what it is Y'all have created a world for yourselves
Starting point is 00:38:17 Where staying at home may not be an option for a season you simply it's a math problem. It's not a values problem It's a math problem. It's not a values problem, it's a math problem. You'll owe a ton of money there. If she was making 4k a month and daycare is 2,500, that's 1,500 extra dollars we can put toward debt. You see the math there? Right. Thankfully my wife is working part-time at the preschool my son goes to, so we get a discount there. Yeah, but it's not cutting it though. It's not working. You have a math problem. And it's because of the life you all lived before you had kids.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Right, right. So here's a few things you can do. Number one, cut up the credit cards yesterday. Get on an every dollar budget yesterday. I'll give it to you for free if you'll use it. And you're going to list out your income, then list out all of your expenses. And anything that isn't food, shelter, utilities, transportation, insurance, or minimum debt payments, it's gone. And on top of that, we need to go figure out ways to make more. And that might mean, hey, dad's going to have to go after work to deliver
Starting point is 00:39:18 pizzas or do Uber or whatever overtime you can do in order to make this work. But it sounds like you guys have, my guess is about 40, $50,000 in debt. How much do you make? I make, with overtime and commissions, I make $55,000 a year. Yeah, that's not gonna, you gotta make more money, brother. 22 an hour, you know, about 45 hours a week, so. We need to figure out how to create
Starting point is 00:39:45 at least two grand in margin so that in a year we throw 24 at it, this thing's done in two years. That's the math problem you guys need to figure out and that might mean she goes back to work for a season. Yeah, and it might mean you're working seven days a week for the next two years, man, to dig out of this hole. And for everybody listening, man,
Starting point is 00:40:02 I'm telling you, the debt's not worth it. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be back next hour right here. Do you ever feel like you're finally making progress towards your goals only to get quickly distracted by something else in your feed? Well that's why we created the Ramsey Network app. Your single source for content that keeps you motivated. The Ramsey Network app is designed to keep you laser focused on reaching your goals. Loaded with over $7,000 of Ramsey shows, this free app is the best place for uninterrupted content and no distractions.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Plus, you can search specific questions to get more personalized content in seconds. So, for the days you need some extra motivation, you'll have proven advice at your fingertips. It's time to get serious about your goals and shut out the distractions for good. Simply search Ramsey Network in the App Store or Google Play. If you're listening on a podcast, just click the link in the show notes to download our free Ramsey Network in the App Store or Google Play. If you're listening on a podcast, just click the link in the show notes to download our free Ramsey Network app today. What's going on, what's going on? I'm John with my good friend George Campbell
Starting point is 00:41:16 and this is the Ramsey Show live from Nashville, Tennessee. We are taking your calls on money, on building wealth, on your relationships, on your work, whatever you got going on in your life. 888-825-5225. George and I will sit with you, we'll listen, we'll figure out the next right step. We'll go out to Phoenix, Arizona and talk to Cruz. What's up, Cruz?
Starting point is 00:41:40 Hi. How we doing? I'm doing good. Excellent, brother. What's up man? So I'm 20 years old, got married right out of high school and I'm currently working at a church doing maintenance and stuff around minimum wage. What's minimum wage? Actually I'm a little above I think making 16 an hour okay so my wife works as well so I think our monthly take comes
Starting point is 00:42:12 around four thousand but it's really expensive out here in Phoenix so I'm wondering if I need to maybe look into somewhere I can make more money or if I should move somewhere cheaper or I don't know. I'm going to let George handle the dollars and cents but can I just use you as a case study for what's going on in America right now? Sure. I feel like we've all been told, particularly those age 40 to 20, that you have a right to work whatever job you want to work and live wherever you want to live, in whatever
Starting point is 00:42:54 city you want to live, whatever neighborhood you want to live even, and that it should work out. And I love your humility, man. You're doing literally the Lord's work man you're cleaning toilets and fixing light bulbs and I was a maintenance man at a church for years you're doing good work behind the scenes man and you live in an expensive place and so now you've got this math problem right yeah and it's frustrating because you like the work you do and you do good
Starting point is 00:43:22 work and you help people out and you're working for a bigger mission than just getting wealthy and you probably have friends a community of family in Arizona. Is that right and Phoenix? Yeah Yeah, that's right. I hate that for you brother. But yeah, you're running up against And I appreciate you just being open about it Like you're running up against a problem that everyone's running up against which is I wanted to live here I wanted to do this job, and the math isn't working. And George and I were just talking off air, George gets roasted alive for suggesting,
Starting point is 00:43:52 well, you have to make a change. You don't understand, you're an idiot, you don't care about me. No, it's I love you enough to say it's a math problem. Like it's just a math problem, it just is. So, man, what do you think, George? What does your wife think about this? Is she open to moving? Is she open to moving?
Starting point is 00:44:05 Is she open to you switching careers and kind of having a big life change? Well, I mean, we talk about it, but we are really connected here. All our family's here. We have deep friendships at our church. And so it would be a hard thing and we wouldn't know where to go.
Starting point is 00:44:25 And as for career change, I don't know what else I would wanna do in life currently. Well, we can help with that. I'm gonna make sure before you get off the line, we give you Ken's new book, "'Find the Work You're Wired to Do." It includes a get clear career assessment and it'll help you get some gears turning
Starting point is 00:44:41 about what you were really wired to do on this earth to make an impact. And it might mean, hey, I got to leave the church. I'm going to go do this other thing. I'm going to get this education, this credential. And for now, it might mean I'm going to go to Target and pick up a job making $20 an hour instead of $16, because that $4 an hour is an extra $8,000 a year that we can use to get closer to our goals.
Starting point is 00:45:03 So what is your next financial goal? Do you guys have debt? Do you have savings? Yeah, we got about a little over 2000 in medical debt that we should be able to pay off soon. And we ran into a car problem and lost our baby step one. So we got to build that up again. So that's it.
Starting point is 00:45:22 You just have two grand of medical debt? Yeah. So the debt is not the thing holding you back. It's not like, you just have two grand of medical debt? Yeah. Okay. So the debt is not the thing holding you back. It's not like if you were debt free, we can have our best life. We need to get the income up in order to live. What's your rent right now?
Starting point is 00:45:35 Right now I got it at 1200, but in reality I'm renting like a little house from my parents on their property. So it's sort of like artificially deflated rent. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So let's say we kept this rental situation until we got the better paying job,
Starting point is 00:45:54 got out of the debt, got an emergency fund. Is that a good exit strategy? I think, I don't know. I don't know. Just looking out here, cheapest rent, you can find 16 or 1800 plus. You can look at it like that. Yeah, for a one bedroom.
Starting point is 00:46:11 What does your wife do and what does she make? She also helps with the church preschool and she works at a Starbucks and she makes probably about as much as I do. Overall, we bring in four grand a month. So Cruz, I'm going to speak directly to you because I love you, okay? You're faced with a couple of challenges that really are not going to move. It's expensive to live in Phoenix.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Everyone in America wants to be hot all the time, I guess. And working at the church pays pay 60 bucks an hour. It's a job, it's not a career. And I want you guys to both sink your teeth into a career. Even if that's you, man, you're handy. You could go start a handyman business in Phoenix and charge 50 to 75 bucks an hour. Do you believe that?
Starting point is 00:47:02 I'm sure I could figure that out. You could even tell the people at the church and say listen I'm available for hire I'm 60 bucks an hour I do good reliable work. I was gonna say you can mow lawns but the grass doesn't grow in Phoenix but you can shovel rocks right? But listen here's the thing. You'll quadruple your income tomorrow if you do that. Can I just talk to you just, well you call us I am gonna talk to you. Dude you can't just sit at home and go, well, you know, huh. You deserve more than that.
Starting point is 00:47:29 You know what I mean? I feel, I can hear you just feel trapped. You lost your mojo, man. When's the last time Cruz was real pumped about something? Fired up. What was it? Probably. Was it a project?
Starting point is 00:47:42 Something you were doing in high school when um I was renovating the house I live in now and getting married and I got this job at the church and yeah. All right here's what you were doing you were building something you're building towards your future you and your wife go out tonight you don't have a lot of money to spend but go do something even if it's going for a walk on a park bench or something, and you'll map out where you want to be in two and a half years. Just pick a number, man, and almost be a little bit unrealistic about it. And then I want you to get on the phone tomorrow and call Target and call Walmart and call
Starting point is 00:48:22 McDonald's call everybody Because you can serve that church on a volunteer basis when you can breathe When your wife can breathe you got stability in your house But the mopey like oh, I don't it's horrible Dude, you're gonna look up in two years and your problem is gonna be here and you're gonna have a kid on the way Yeah, yeah, I worry about that sometimes. Okay. Then here's what we didn't want to do. I want to stop worrying about it and I want you to take action, take action, take action,
Starting point is 00:48:52 take action. Okay? Five applications by the time you go to bed tonight. Ten applications tomorrow. Let's see what you can cobble together work-wise and just go make some money. What you're going to find is, I don't like retail. I love retail. Oh this guy who I'm working for at retail needs somebody to help with a bathroom model. I can do that. And now you're off to the races. Or George said like man call somebody at your, put the call out at your church. I'm here to help anybody do anything after hours and here's
Starting point is 00:49:18 what I charge. I charge 40 bucks an hour and I'm the best there is and I'll be on time and I'll finish below budget. Man you'll have more work than you know what to do with but you got to go you got to go you got to go you got to go. We can't want this more than you do. Hang on the line we're gonna send you Ken Coleman's find the work you're wired to do. Be sure to take the GetClear Career Assessment inside of that. I think it will unlock some really cool things for you. You've been working the Ramsey plan and you've made real progress but if something happened to you tomorrow would your loved ones be able to access all the account info you've got stored on your computer, phone or even scraps of
Starting point is 00:49:53 paper? KnockBox can help. That's KnockBox. N-O-K as in next of kin. Box is a complete system that organizes your important documents, accounts, IDs, tax returns, insurance policies, estate plans, and other personal history in one secure place to help protect what you have worked for. So ditch the thumb drives and file cabinets and organize your digital and paper files with
Starting point is 00:50:23 KnockBox. You'll leave memories not a mess. Get your family's KnockBox today at knockbox.com slash Ramsey. That's N-O-K-Box.com slash Ramsey. Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here and I got a big announcement. I'm coming to a city near you live on the Money and Relationships Tour with Dr. John Deloney. This is the most interactive event we've ever done. You get to decide what we talk about.
Starting point is 00:50:50 You do not want to miss this. We'll be coming to Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth, and Kansas City in April and May of 2025. Get your tickets and more information at ramsysolutions.com slash tour. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show, 88825, 5225. I'm John Delaney joined by Port Hay Camel. And hey listen, you want some more money and less stress? Of course we all do. But if you scroll and scroll and scroll, George, you get more and more madness and madness
Starting point is 00:51:28 and madness and madness. And thankfully you use this wild thing that's not available very often, which is called common sense and research and data for your new book Breaking Free from Broke, which exposes the most common money myths and excuses head on. Like credit card schemes and investing traps and mortgage myths and all of it. It's all the stuff they wish they taught you in high school or that I wish Instagram got correct. Man, you're-
Starting point is 00:51:53 This is the financial literacy, that you're like, oh, okay. Never got this 20 years ago, but it's not too late to get it now. Or, hey, I'm fresh out of college, I wanna avoid all the mistakes. Can someone just cut through the noise and tell me the truth?
Starting point is 00:52:06 Yes. And that's what this book was. And the reviews have been amazing, John, because people are telling me, dude, you convinced me to finally cut up the cards. You convinced me that it's not as bad as I thought and that I'm in more control than I thought. Well, it's one of those things where if you look around
Starting point is 00:52:21 and everyone who's giving you advice is either broke or miserable or so anxious they can't breathe, it's's like there's this guy smiling on the cover maybe i'll try that one right and it's actual it's actual truth you'll gain knowledge and confidence to break free from a system that let you down here can i tell you this is totally aside from this commercial i'm doing for your book it's so ironic to me that people that get the most mad at you are the ones you're literally, it's like their bike has been chained up to a fence
Starting point is 00:52:52 and you've got the chain cutters and you're like, excuse me please, can I free your bike? And they're like, no, no! And you're like, I just want you to be able to go home and ride your bike wherever you want to, can I just cut this? And they're like, nah, those people you're trying to help are the ones that get so mad.
Starting point is 00:53:07 It is wild out there, but I kinda, you know, part of it, it's what Dave's been doing for 30 years, is stirring up a ruckus by telling people to like live on lesson they make. And it really riles them up. No one tells me how to live my life. That's right. And so I try to do it with a dose of humor
Starting point is 00:53:23 and self-awareness and get to the objection in your head before you do. And this book, I feel like, is the modern version of here's 30 plus years of the Ramsey principles to still down through this millennial, sort of younger lens that isn't yelling at you. But it's kind of a snarky, like, hey man, come on. We can do better.
Starting point is 00:53:42 And it's here's the stats. And they still work, they still work, they still work. Still works. Go to ramsysolutions.com slash door. What are you gonna say? Well, we wanted do better. And it's here's the stats. And they still work, they still work, they still work. Still works. Go to ramsysolutions.com slash store. What are you gonna say? Well, we wanted to make sure this book was practical. So we included for free three months of the premium version of Every Dollar,
Starting point is 00:53:53 which is our number one budgeting app. So you get to connect to your bank, you get the paycheck planning tool, all the fancy stuff the team's throwing in there. You get three months of it with the book. There's a QR code inside you can check out. So get the copy today, ramsysolutions.com slash store. Click the link in the description if you're listening on YouTube or podcast. And if you've checked it out and you love it, make sure
Starting point is 00:54:11 to spread the word and send one to a friend who could use it. It's Christmas time. People are going to need it. Let's go out to Chi town and talk to Chris. What up Chris? How we doing? Hello? Hey Chris. Hey. What's up? Chris, how we doing? Hello? Hey, Chris. Hey, what's up?
Starting point is 00:54:29 Well, um, hey, I want to know a couple things. Okay, if we have we have some debt, we have some, um, some debt. Um, so finding out that as a couple, we have about $575,000 in debt. I don't have a job. How much of that how much that debts your mortgage? Our mortgage is $332,000 and a second mortgage at $65,000. Which ones did you know about? I knew about that and I thought we probably had some credit card debt but I didn't know it was this significant. Was this done behind your back or is this you're not paying attention? I hear in your voice you're trying very much to not dishonor your husband by telling the truth that he borrowed a whole bunch of money
Starting point is 00:55:20 behind your back and hadn't told you the truth. Yeah, well, correct. And he also took out about 80,000, I think, in our 401k that he didn't tell me about. What is he spending this on? He is spending it on, I believe, our paying, what do they say, robbing Peter to pay Paul. I think we're just cycling that. What did he use it to pay? Not this much. Cars, probably some vacations
Starting point is 00:55:51 that I didn't really understand weren't real money but credit card money. My daughter's at college and we're paying for that. We're paying for all her expenses. She's in her fourth year. She's a senior right now. But we also paying for that, we're paying for all her expenses. She's in her fourth year, she's a senior right now. But we also have a significant, well, our son is significantly disabled and he lives with us,
Starting point is 00:56:12 he's 24, and so that prevents me from having income outside of the home. Is she your full-time caregiver? Correct. That doesn't explain 180 grand of outside spending and debt. Yeah, here's what you really need is for him to sit down with receipts. And here's this is a hard conversation we're having and we're going through it real quick.
Starting point is 00:56:34 George and I don't see very often that this much debt this fast is taken on things. Like you get what I'm saying like it's not usually like a couple of occasions and in a new car almost always there's something nefarious going on struggling it is is there is there an addiction is there that my head goes right to addiction my head goes right to some there's somebody else my head goes right to there's a big gambling is like my head goes to there's something big gambling issue, like my head goes to, there's something big going on. And hey, look, if he sits down and says, no, no, no, here's a hundred grand in college tuition,
Starting point is 00:57:10 here's these two vacations, here's these two cars, okay, cool, just show the receipts. Okay. And that, you don't have that piece because the wool just got, I mean, the rug just got pulled out from under you. It really, yeah, it really did. So I know he likes to gamble, he likes to, you know.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Well you buried the lead there, Chris. There it is. Yeah, I want to see receipts. You're telling me that someone who likes to gamble, who spent and went 180 grand into debt, spent none of it on gambling. But what if it was over a period of about 10 years? Is that feasible? Anything's feasible. That's 20 grand a year. Of course that's feasible. But how am I going to know if it's a gambling debt?
Starting point is 00:57:54 Just show me the receipts. I have a hard time believing he's going to prove that there was 178 grand or whatever spent on, well, I used that to pay down this debt and pay the tuition and cover this cost. He's not gonna be able to come up with it. He's gonna get defensive and he's gonna get angry. How did you find out, Chris? Right, we've already been there.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Okay. We've already been there. How'd you find out? But yeah, he's defensive and angry and then I finally pulled up the Wells Fargo app that shows credit reports and debt and I was astonished. Okay, I want you to pull all three credit reports. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:30 And you can go to annualcreditreport.com and do this for free. Don't pay for it. They're all free. And I want you to compare and find out just how bad it is. I also want your kids to pull credit reports and see if anything has been taken out in their name on their social security number. Again, all this is free. Annualcreditreport.com.
Starting point is 00:58:49 And I want you to hear the words that we, this is what we call this in our house and here in this building. We call this financial infidelity. That betrayal is that deep. Because now you've got a special needs son who's 24, and you've already been thinking about life after you guys, and you're thinking about a special needs trust, and then you find out you're $200,000 in the hole. Right?
Starting point is 00:59:13 And so we have to have a come to Jesus truth telling, everything's gotta be on the table, and then we gotta figure out a plan working its way out. And part of that plan is we are freezing our credit, all of it, your credit, my credit, no one is taking out a loan ever again for any reason. It might be telling your senior in college, you gotta pay for the last semester on your own. Sorry, we're broke.
Starting point is 00:59:34 You gotta sell some cars, you gotta sell the house. I mean, there's gonna be some reckoning to this. What does he make? He makes one six, I just asked him 162 a year. Okay. But he's in sales, so it's, you know, fluctuating. just asked him 162 a year. Okay, he's an L. So it's it's you know, it's up and down Yeah Chris I hope beyond everything that this is just the accumulation of of a couple of grand a month Over the course of ten years. I hope that's the case. It would be very rare if there's not something else going on. I
Starting point is 01:00:04 Love being wrong. I'm wrong often. My wife reminds me. I love being wrong. I hope I'm wrong here, but more so than I hope I'm wrong, I hope you get some peace in your life. Hang on the line. I'm gonna send you Financial Peace University. This is 101. This is back to basics. And your husband's gonna say, I don't need to watch that crap. He does. Because he's about to lose his wife over it Okay You all watch these lessons together and then I'm gonna send you every dollar the best budgeting app and you're gonna be able to keep
Starting point is 01:00:31 Track together on how this expenses are gonna go full of transparency Yeah, that's it don't get to stay ignorant for another day Chris. You're gonna be very involved from here on out. We'll be right back All right, let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates, but when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey trusted agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling, they're someone you can trust to have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey trusted agent
Starting point is 01:01:08 near you at ramsysolutions.com slash agent. ramsysolutions.com slash agent. Welcome back. This is the Ramsey Show, 88825, 5225. I'm John Delaney joined by George Campbell. We have this rad new thing called the Ramsey Network app. And it allows us to do things where we're not censored, where we don't get throttled, where we can control our own messaging and our own words, our own content. So it's completely free and we have early releases in there,
Starting point is 01:01:43 we have special interviews in there, we've got all kind of cool stuff. It's the Ramsey Network app, you can get it anywhere. But also it provides you an opportunity to ask direct questions that we can respond to. People try to call and call and call and they don't always get through on the phone lines, but here's a place where you can leave questions.
Starting point is 01:02:00 So here's a question from the Ramsey Network app, the question's from Thomas. This is gonna be a fun answer because you and I probably handle this very, very differently. Very, I thought this is the question for John. And I thought this is hilarious. I'd like to know George's answer to this.
Starting point is 01:02:15 While in baby step two, how should people prioritize emergency preparedness such as purchasing generators, food, water, and general supplies for when it all goes down. Actually, they didn't say that. For an unknown future, I added that part for emphasis because George... I think that's the spirit behind it. It's all coming down. That's right. And actually, as I say that in jest, I have stored food, I've got stored water, I've got a generator, and there's a hurricane of the century heading towards Florida. So this is a legit question. It doesn't feel like a, and while we're at it, you know, the moon landing was fake and the earth is flat.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Yeah, this isn't quite conspiracy. No, this is for real. I'm going to assume the best intent from Thomas here. That's right. This is a normal level-headed person. Correct, correct. So baby step two means you have a thousand dollar and a starter emergency fund, but all other money is going toward debt payoff.
Starting point is 01:03:13 So he's saying, hey, how do I prioritize things like a generator food, water, supplies? Well, I would say we got to limit what we can do. We're not gonna go build a bunker and spend 20 grand, but if you wanna go to Costco and get a little emergency preparedness kit for 60 bucks, put it in the budget and go do it. So I would just say you got to limit how much we're spending on this preparedness idea.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Is this a can of gas in the garage or is this a $5,000 generator? There's a big difference. And I think there's, I love that George, there's some nuance here. So emergency preparedness started a week ago for people in the path of Hurricane Milton that's headed right there. Right. And so I would have considered that an emergency pause, everything, get water, get some food and, or fill up your cars with gas and get some gas cans and go stay with some
Starting point is 01:03:59 relatives or some friends in a safe location. So preparedness, when it's acute, like man, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive and take care of your four walls. Preparedness as in maybe like me, you watch a lot of YouTube videos and got some good Instagram accounts on when it's all coming down, right? For me, the most pressing emergency in my household was how much money I owed people that would come knocking on my door or take my house from me, take my cars from me, right? So that is a bigger emergency number one. Number two, then you begin to say, okay, do we have, I live in the country, so if the power goes out, I don't have any water. I got to go get buckets of water to flush my toilets, right? That's different than living in
Starting point is 01:04:43 the city. So ask yourself where you are, and that's a part of living out in the country. And then the other thing is, over time, yeah, you don't owe anybody any money, you're working on baby steps four, five, and six, as a family, save up and buy a generator. Are you gonna have a portable generator, or one you're gonna have built into the ground
Starting point is 01:04:59 that's gonna automatically kick on? I haven't thought this through, John. Thanks for asking the hard questions. You're welcome. But again, here's what I want people to do, make these purchases intentionally, don't make these purchases haphazardly from a state of panic. Remember when your body goes to fight or flight, when you watch enough videos and you start your palms start sweaty, sweating and your heart
Starting point is 01:05:20 rate's racing, you're like, oh I got it's all coming down, you're not gonna make informed rational decisions and if you're still rate's racing, you're like, oh I got it, it's all coming down right, you're not gonna make informed rational decisions. And if you're still paying off your student loans, you don't need to have five years of food, you need to pay off your student loans, pay off your student loans. And again, all this is coming from a guy that's got a generator and food and water,
Starting point is 01:05:37 you know what I mean? And I just know a guy, so that's the other half. You'll never find me George, you'll never make it. Here's what I know, your Tesla will run out of charge again Thank you. It would make it very far trying to evacuate anywhere. Unfortunately So there's that that's a great video. You just pile in the family. Let's go. Let's go pilot And it makes it in trust me My wife was like I was like we bought we got her a new to her car and I was like hey
Starting point is 01:06:01 You should get a Tesla and she was like we are not gonna be in all, like are you serious? We're gonna have a gas car in the family. So just so you know. That's a very anti-fragile wife, good for her. All right, let's go out to Tampa, Florida and talk to Jared. Should have gone to Jared. We're going to Jared.
Starting point is 01:06:15 What's up, Jared? Hey, how's it going? What's up? Just calling in. First, I wanna say thank you guys. Um, you know, w working through your guys' steps and working with Jim Stovall, um, is what allowed us to get out of debt and have an emergency fund to buy the plywood and board up our house and we evacuate to Tennessee.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Hope you guys are safe, man. Are you guys out? Yeah, we're in Tennessee right now. Oh good good good good good. I still have family down there but you know just praying for them. That's right. We all have those family members Jared that just decide nope we're gonna stay. So yeah we'll pray for them. We will pray for them pray for them. How can I help you today brother? Yeah my question is just thinking about future future family planning. My wife is here with me and we don't have any kids yet but you know I'm trying to figure out the health insurance thing. I've had people recommend
Starting point is 01:07:15 high deductible plans with HSA or you know there's standard plans or I'm on Metashare. And so what do you guys recommend for as far as that goes? Well, there's two kind of buckets to put this in. If you and your family are relatively healthy, then the high deductible health plan makes a lot of sense. And you get the HSA, which is one of my favorite tools out there because it's triple tax advantage.
Starting point is 01:07:45 So the money goes in tax free, it grows tax free, you can withdraw it tax free for medical expenses. So it's a really cool tool. And then like a PPO plan might be better if you go to the doctor a lot, if there's kind of chronic health issues. And so there's kind of two buckets. If you go to, if you're like always going to the doctor,
Starting point is 01:08:01 you might hit that out of pocket pretty fast and then it's covered. But if you never go to the doctor, that's also a bucket where the high deductible health plan wins So it really depends on you and your family situation your health. So what would you say is the status of your family and their health? Yeah, we're both really healthy We like to do checkups, you know once or twice a year but just thinking in a couple years, you know, we want to start having kids and you know, once or twice a year. But just thinking in a couple of years, you know, we wanna start having kids
Starting point is 01:08:24 and wanna make sure that we've got help with that and coverage for that. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, the pros of like a PPO versus the high deductible health plan is there's a lower deductible and there's lower out-of-pocket max. The cons are there's higher premiums
Starting point is 01:08:41 and there's a smaller provider network. So the high deductible health plan wins when you look at the premiums every month, but it does have a higher deductible. So if you guys can save up for that out of pocket max and be prepared for that higher deductible, then I think it's gonna be a win in most cases. And it's what I personally have for my family through Ramsey
Starting point is 01:08:59 is I do the high deductible health plan with an HSA. I imagine John does the same, I don't know. Yeah, that's what we do. And I'll tell you, Jared, if I was back, running it back again, having little babies, I'm too old for that now, if I was having babies, and I knew like you, I'm gonna plan for two years from now or three years from now,
Starting point is 01:09:17 my intention would be to go into that three years out and save up money and go to the hospital and say what does the cash pay for baby? And they'll give you an all inclusive cost. Now, if you have an emergency C-section, something like that, of course it's going to be extra, but often they will almost always they'll give you a cash option to come and have a baby and it's inclusive of the before and some of the limited aftercare. So I would have that conversation, but it might be just 5,000 bucks or 7,000000. And it's like, all right, we've got three years to save up for that.
Starting point is 01:09:47 Let's head on down that road. All right. And then as far as like the high deductible plan with an HSA goes, that high deductible, like we'd save up for that. And would that be part of the emergency fund or is that something to save up for separately? Or? I think it's fine to have in the emergency fund the chances of like the HVAC went out plus the deductible and all these things happening at once is very slim.
Starting point is 01:10:12 But let's say the deductible is $7,000 for the family. I would make sure to have at least seven grand. And when you have your three to six months expenses saved up, that's likely gonna be 15 or 20 grand. So you'll be plenty in the clear as far as that goes. Yeah, and George, that's what we've always done, is hold the deductible as a part of the emergency fund. It wasn't on top of the emergency fund.
Starting point is 01:10:33 And plus you have the HSA to cover medical expenses as you begin contributing to that. And so if you can, I say get lucky, if you can go a month, a year, and not have to touch that HSA that becomes a really wonderful cushion that's beyond the floor and then you becomes like a retirement account. That's pretty cool.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Hey, that's it for this segment. We'll be back in just a few minutes right here on the Ramsey show. Hey guys, are you ready for the secret to help you reach those money goals that you've been dreaming about? It's simple. You gotta get on a budget. With our budgeting app Every Dollar, you'll get intentional with your money and build the habits that will make those dreams a reality. And we'll be with you every step of the way. From your first budget to that retirement home on the beach, download Every Dollar for free on the App Store or Google Play remember today download every dollar for free on the App Store or Google Play today welcome back to the Ramsey show triple 8 8 2 5 5 2 2 5 it's triple 8
Starting point is 01:11:37 8 2 5 5 2 2 5 I'm John Delaney joined byel, the handsomest face in radio. Wow. Let's go out to Minneapolis, Minnesota and talk to Laura. Hey Laura, what's up? Hi. What's going on? Well, first of all, I want to say thank you. Last year I worked through the Ramsey plan
Starting point is 01:12:01 and paid off my student loans. Amazing. So I really appreciate all the work that you guys do. How much did you pay off? $47,000. Wow. So do you not owe anybody anything anymore? Nothing. Nope. All right. Can we do an impromptu? You do a debt-free scream right here on the radio? Sure. Can you scream your head off? Are you in a place where you can scream real loud? I'm in my work parking lot. Oh that'll do it. People already think you're crazy.
Starting point is 01:12:28 It'll be great. That's true. Alright, count it down. You paid off how much? What's the total? $47,000. Alright, we got Laura from Minneapolis paid off $47,000 doing an impromptu, kinda weird, screaming in her parking lot, debt-free scream, let it rip. Do I count it down? Count it down. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. I'm debt-free. See, look at Georgie when coming through. All right. The best is you're watching on YouTube. The team zoomed in on the debt-free stage with the graphic and animation. Well done.
Starting point is 01:13:03 Just, the only thing it's missing was you. I hope I look cute. Yes. All right, so what's up Laura? How can we help? Okay, so actually, well, speaking of being debt-free, so I found some land recently and it's a really good deal and I don't necessarily have the funds for it. So normally I wouldn't even consider- That makes it not a good deal and I don't necessarily have the funds for it so normally I wouldn't
Starting point is 01:13:25 even consider... That makes it not a good deal. I know, but hear me out, hear me out. Alright. So it's 20 acres for $29,000. Oh that sounds so awesome. I know that's what I'm saying. I might buy it. Is there bodies buried on it? Why is that cheap? It's so cheap. Well I can't give the specifics. I don't want anyone else to find it. Wow. Yeah just tell me where the GPS coordinates are. So it's like I've driven past this land a million times. I checked it out last night. I plan to check it out with the seller. I think the owner is just selling it directly. I'm planning to check it out tonight with him. And it's just a wooded area, a little bit of it. I don't plan to like build a house on it or
Starting point is 01:14:15 anything anytime soon. I would honestly like live on it in a tent or just save quite a bit before building or anything. Then why are you buying this? Camping is a lot cheaper if you don't need 20 acres. Well eventually I would like to... Have you ever lived in the woods? I've camped plenty. Have you ever lived in the woods? No but I have considered it many times. I do. And I do have a place where I rent.
Starting point is 01:14:47 I do. And it's awesome. You live in the woods. Uh huh. But it is not what you think. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:55 So I guess I don't necessarily need to live there because I do rent for pretty cheap. So I could rent, you know, for a long time before building on there. But I guess the point of it was I don't't plan to spend any more than the 29,000. I know, but you don't have 29,000. I don't have 29,000. Can I give you a great, like, mama camel wisdom? This isn't, I'm gonna say it in Arabic. I'm gonna butcher it, but it's,
Starting point is 01:15:16 as jem'n but ish, um'a an di ish. And that's what this literally translates to. The camel costs one penny, and I don't have one penny. Is that not the coolest mama camel wisdom right there? So here's what that means. The thing that's the best deal that you can't afford is a bad deal. Right.
Starting point is 01:15:35 So you're gonna make payments on this thing that sits there that you don't even use all for the pleasure of knowing that you could camp on it? Yes, but I actually, I can't take out a loan on it because I don't have. You're correct. Yeah. Cause no banks thinks this is a good investment. And you know what the bank wants?
Starting point is 01:15:54 Your business. And when they're like, oh, we can't take your business, then that's called a gatekeeper. They're trying to protect you from yourself. So your only option would then be to do like an owner financing thing where they essentially loan you the money and you pay them back and you just create your own deal.
Starting point is 01:16:10 Uh huh. And have a feeling you're actually gonna try to do that when you go walk it. You probably don't. So actually I was wondering maybe if there was some kind of other option, like have people convinced owners to wait six to eight months while someone gives up for it?
Starting point is 01:16:24 Yes, they have. They absolutely have. I mean, they've had this land forever. If you really convince them that Laura is the amazing, this is who I want this land to go to, and then you work your tail off and go save up 29 grand, maybe they'll call it good and say, all right, we're willing to sit on this land for 12 months,
Starting point is 01:16:39 but you're agreeing to buy this at this future date. And I'm making this up, Dave is a real estate guy, so I'm making this up, but maybe there's a contingency contract that says I intend to buy this in six months, and here's my plan, and even invoke the name Ramsey. I'm a Ramseyite, I don't have the cash, I'm saving up like mad, I just paid off all my student loans, I really want this, will you hold it for six months,
Starting point is 01:17:00 and here's my plan for how I'm gonna get $29,000. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. There's a small chance. Yeah, you're telling me there's a chance, right? Lloyd Christmas thought the same thing. But can I tell you something to give you some sort of optimism? Sure. I promise, I promise, I promise, other land will pop up Yeah, it just it just does it does it does I think so I think this is a good deal I don't usually find land for this cheap or I haven't but also my friend just told me last night She's like do you need 20 acres? Or do you be fine with a lot less? I think I would be fine with a lot less you would you would but here's what you
Starting point is 01:17:42 Have in your head you've worked really hard for the last few years and you're tired and you deserve this. And it's kind of a carrot out there and it feels awesome. And dude, I totally get it. I've got land for sale all around me and I can't afford it. And it makes me B-A-N-A-N-A-S, as the great Gwen Stefani once sang, makes me crazy. But I can't afford it.
Starting point is 01:18:05 And so I can torture myself every day by being like, oh my gosh, if I could just, I can't afford it. So I can go play with my kids. It's the better use of my time or go run around my door. Right? Yeah. Just don't make yourself bananas. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:18:20 And what are you gonna do with 20 acres for real? Like, what are you gonna do? Are you a hunter? Well, sometimes. My family hunts, so. Yeah. But I mean, that would be a lot more expensive than hunting on some free land.
Starting point is 01:18:32 And what's the taxes on these 20 acres? I don't actually know. I'd have to ask the owner. That's a great question. What's the easements? What is the ongoing maintenance cost? It is right on land, or it's right on a road. Yeah, and what's the easement cost?
Starting point is 01:18:46 And I don't even. You have to pay part of that. Yeah, it's just a lot. And I feel like I'm ruining your dream, and you're actually one of the people I don't wanna ruin your dream. I'm happy for you. I wish every American could own 20 acres.
Starting point is 01:18:57 It's amazing. You just don't have $30,000. Yeah, but I could get there pretty soon, I think. Okay. Come up with a compelling story, get a guitar, maybe sing it to the guy. Maybe he'll hear that. Or you may take him out and he just,
Starting point is 01:19:16 he just gets really mad that you wasted his time. He's gonna look at you and be like, you don't have any money? And be like, no, but I really want it. In eight months, I really want it. Yeah, but you don't have any money? Or it's a Christmas miracle and he gifts it to her at no charge.
Starting point is 01:19:28 Oh, Christmas miracles. That's the George I know. I'd always ask, why are you getting rid of it? It's a fair question to ask. Why are you getting rid of it so cheap? Where are the bodies buried? What's going on, buster? Yeah, there's like some secret.
Starting point is 01:19:41 It just feels awfully cheap. I know it's, you know, Minnesota. Plutonium under there. Land ain't cheap these days, so like a grand an acre feels insane. I know it's, you know, Minnesota. Plutonium under there. Land ain't cheap these days. So like a grand an acre feels insane. I know, I kinda wanna get it, even though I don't go to a. You'll never find it.
Starting point is 01:19:52 Hey, for all of you listening to the show on YouTube or podcast, show's about to end. I want you to head over to the Ramsey Network app, totally free to download. You can finish the show for a distraction free experience. If you want to go further with Ramsey, we pick the calls for you, filter by topic, and you can get all your favorite Ramsey shows in place. That's important. So if you want to go back and run a call back, or if you want to be like, hey, I need a call about buying land without a
Starting point is 01:20:16 credit score, it filters for you automatically. You can get all your answers right there. Don't miss what's coming up next, and you can click the link in the show notes and go watch the rest of the show in the app for free. If you're listening on the radio, it's gonna continue on like radio does. Sorry, John, I was distracted. I'm now on the Ramsey Network app. I'm watching you live.
Starting point is 01:20:37 That's very meta. It's pretty cool. I apologize. If you're wondering, I'm gonna go now. Is it hard to work with Gen Z in the workplace? I'm not even Gen Z, I'm 35 years old, man. The answer is correct. You're like four years older than me.
Starting point is 01:20:51 Whatever, he's playing Fortnite underneath the table over here. These Gen Xers, they're all upset because they're the forgotten generation. Oh, we just don't want the world to fall apart. You guys are hell bent on VRing the whole thing. This is a good reason to tune in to the next hour on the Ramsey Network. We'll see you're still here?
Starting point is 01:21:42 What are you doing? You do know that the rest of today's show is playing right now over on the Ramsey Network app, right? All you gotta do to finish the episode is search Ramsey Network in the App Store, Google Play Store, or just click the link in the show notes to download the app for free. Yep, you heard me right, for free. Then right there on the home screen, you can watch the rest of today's show. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom. All right, I'm getting out of here. Enjoy. We'll see you on the app.

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