The Ramsey Show - You CAN Prosper Regardless of Who Is in the White House

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

📱Download your Ramsey Network App today! Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss: Dave reacts to the Donald Trump assassination attempt, "I'm upside-down on my house," "What should I do with stocks I was gifted?" "I'm having a hard time spending money on our wedding even though I can afford it," This type of life insurance sucks, "How much should I be saving for a house?" Support Our Sponsors: NetSuite: Free KPI checklist, visit netsuite.com/Ramsey  BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/Delony to get 10% off your first month   MamaBear Legal Forms: mamabearlegalforms.com and use promo code RAMSEY to save 20% Yrefy: Call 844-2-RAMSEY or go to Yrefy.com/Ramsey Zander Insurance: Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282 for a fast and easy quote today.  Next Steps 🏘️ Free Tools & Resources to Reach Your Home Goals 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! ☎️ Share your thoughts on The Ramsey Show & more! 🏠 Find a Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agent 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! 📚 Teach Kids About Money!  Listen to more from Ramsey Network 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Open phones this hour at 888-825-5225. Number one best-selling author, Ramsey personality, and host of The Rachel Cruz Show. My daughter, Rachel Cruz, is my co-host today as we answer your questions about your life and your money. Before we go straight to the phones, I want to make sure you guys don't think we're living on another planet or something. Obviously, we know that there was an attempt on President Trump's life on Thursday

night and lost a hero firefighter protecting his daughter and wife in the process, shielding them from gunfire at that assassination attempt. And everyone knows the details. We certainly are not Fox or CNN or anybody else. We're not going into the details. It's not what we do here. But we are praying for this nation. We're people of the book, and the book tells us to pray for our leaders, even if we don't agree with them. And Trump is one of our leaders. He was a president. And Joe Biden is one of our leaders. He is the current sitting president.

And not many things that President Biden does that I agree with, but it is my job to pray for him anyway. And certainly to not bring him harm. I can disagree with him and still honor the office and still honor the person and certainly not engage in any kind of stupidity like some of the rhetoric that has gone on in the last 48 hours and really has gone on for the last several years. Some of you people are really too serious about what happens in the White House. If you'd concentrate half as much of what happens in your house, you've been in a whole

lot better shape because that's really the common the common denominator of success it hasn't got anything to do with those guys up there um yes they do some things that affect our lives but very i've had several of them try to ruin my life and they hadn't pulled it off and i've had several of them try to make my life better and they hadn't pulled that off and so um i'm old and i've seen them i've seen presidents that were going to be the end of democracy and they hadn't pulled that off and so um i'm old and i've seen them i've seen presidents that were going to be the end of democracy and they weren't and i've seen presidents that were going to be the second coming of jesus and they were not even close so um i mean seriously people i think the problem is is that the level of anger has to do with the expectations of what the office can provide. And so treat these people

like people. They have families, they have children, they have friends. I've got friends that are congressmen, friends that are senators, and the stuff that they have to put up with. The stuff that is mailed to this office at me into Ramsey Solutions because some of you are just out of control and you should not spend your money on Financial Peace University. You should spend it on counseling because you need it. You know, it's that kind of stuff. It's going on out there, Rachel. Oh, yeah. I mean, for sure. And I think it's just a level of the anger comes from a level of fear, scared of where the country is going to go on either side of the spectrum. But I think that that's the sobering idea is going back to, OK, what's going on with my family in my home from the money perspective?

When my paycheck hits my checking account, what am I going to do with it? Right. So there's a level of control that we can have in our lives. There are you can go to the go to the polls our lives. You can go to the polls, right? You can go and vote in November, and that's a choice and a level of control you have. And then it's up to fate at that point of what occurs. But I think you're right. But I mean, we, Ramseys and people that work at Ramsey are all very passionate people. We have loud, arguing, fun discussions about things, but we don't wish death on people.

Gosh, no, no, no. I mean, I'll argue with the president of visa. I mean, no, it's just the president of visa. It's just a credit card. It's okay. You know, don't go in credit card debt. It's stupid. And, uh, you know, if you're, if you're a payday lender, you shouldn't be doing that. It just takes humanity out of a system. But I'm not going to suggest that the guy be taken out. I mean, that's just nuts. It's really sad. It's a sad.

It was a sad. Here's the thing. If you will concentrate on fighting ideas, that is a valid quest to argue about ideas. When you have to vilify or destroy a person because you disagree with their idea you've already lost the argument because you've lost the high ground you've lost the ability to argue your idea because you can't stay on top of the your idea loses ground so you have to attack the person and when you can't when you can't back up your philosophy when you can't back up your philosophy, when you can't back up your belief and have an argument about that, a healthy, a good, have a strenuous argument. I mean, we yell and scream.

We don't scream, but we argue in high voices around here sometimes because we're trying to figure out which play to call to win the Super Bowl. We're trying to figure out which product to put out there to help you folks next. And we struggle with that and passionately. But if your idea is so weak that you have to attack the person because your idea won't hold its own water, that's when you've already lost. And so then you've only got a bunch of people that drop to the lowest common denominator are the only people that'll follow a person whose idea has lost but they're passionate about it you know it's just you've got to be able to argue on the points of merit and that's basic debate that's basic common sense it's basic wisdom and it's just it's sad it's a sad comment about what's going on in our country and how someone cannot look at the ideas represented, the principles represented

by different campaigns, and for that matter, the quality of the person that's going to implement those ideas. Can you stand with that or not? And that's, you know, if you think that, then go there. I mean, we've had arguments about that ever since there's been a president. Is the quality of the person good enough? And there's always been someone that said, I mean, the stuff that was written about Abraham Lincoln, unbelievable. The stuff that was written about JFK, unbelievable.

And by the way, you ought to look at JFK's policies and ideas. You want to see some conservative economic thought bordering on libertarian? Go read what JFK believed about economics when I was putting in place. It's very interesting for a Democrat. So these things, the pendulum swings, people argue and push through different things, and different people have different quality of reasons and reasoning, but this is out of hand. So our vote is for prayer for this nation.

That's our vote. Our vote is for prayer for you and your house, that you get your act together, and in spite of who's in the White House, not because of who's in the White House, you prosper. Because if you're waiting on one of them to prosper your life, you have a long wait. Your life's going to suck.

Because government is not designed to make your life awesome. Sorry. It's not. Your cell phone has more power than your president to make your life awesome. I mean, you can push buttons and stuff actually happens with it i mean when you push buttons in the voting booth very seldom does anything actually happen think about it i want to believe it does i love i want to believe it does

but name me a time it did a couple of things here and there but nothing that i went oh everything's okay now i know totally yes i hear what you're saying yep yep yeah i just it reminds it reminds all of us to to argue ideas and you don't have to destroy people for your idea to win otherwise your idea is not good oh this is the ramsey show what does the future hold for business Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Economic growth or a recession. Business taxes will go up or down. AI will help us work or it will replace us all. But there's no such thing as a crystal ball. That's why more than 40,000 businesses have future-proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle,

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at netsuite.com slash Ramsey. It's free at netsuite.com slash Ramsey. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, is my co-host. She and James said that I said the attempted assassination was on Thursday. If I did, I was, I don't know why I would say that because obviously it was Saturday. I was like, uh, where were you? Well, the problem is, several years ago, I quit working on Fridays. So Thursday is my new Friday.

So you're just behind. And it throws everything off. You're always behind a day. I'm always screwed up. So anyway, I actually know when it happened. I just misstated it. Hey, do 15 or 20,000 hours of talk radio and see how many things you say wrong. So I'll make sure you get there. The Ramsey Summer Black Friday sale is here today through wednesday i got that right july 17th you get

prices as low as five dollars you're kidding me on our best-selling books i got more than that in them and tools to help you crush debt find the work you love did y'all not hear paper went up and teach your kids about money or simply live a more joyful life. This is like Baby Steps Millionaires for $5. Building a Non-Anxious Life with Dr. John Deloney, $5. The Get Clear Assessment for Kenton Coleman, wow, $5. Questions for Humans, Couples Edition. Now, that's important.

$5. All of these are best sellers for, I don't, we must have, oh my gosh. Get our best deals. This is a deal. Summer Black Friday sale at ramseysolutions.com slash sale. Apparently I need to work on Fridays to approve these things before I start reading them. But hurry, the sale ends Wednesday, July 17th at 1159 p.m. Unless Dave changes it early.

Unless I change it before then. I'm a little bit aghast at these 59 p.m unless dave changes it early unless i change it before then i'm a little bit aghast at these wonderful prices but we've announced them so we will we're like costco costco hasn't like up to their hot dog prices and something else someone oh the arizona tea guy they don't up their prices uh because of inflation so that's what you're doing you're giving yeah yeah yeah that's true but the problem is they in neither case are they losing money. So, anyway. All right. So, Gabriel is in Pontiac, Michigan.

Hey, Gabriel, what's up? Hey, Dave. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure, man. How can we help? So, I'm calling in because I have an issue where my mortgage is actually a lot more than what I bargained for. The loan to value is super high. I bought the home for $275,000 back in October of last year. And currently, that's how much I have to sell it at. I actually have to sell it at $250,000

due to the fact that the $275,000 included the closing costs, all the concessions, and all that good stuff. So right now I tried to have it rented out because I'm currently not living there. I lost my job a couple of months back, and I had to move up here to Michigan. Where is the house? It's in Tampa, Florida. Okay. Michigan. Where is the house? It's in Tampa, Florida. If you lost your job in Tampa, Florida, why didn't you just go get a job in Tampa,

Florida, dude? Well, the fact that I have to pay $2.2K for the house and my other expenses, I needed a job that was able to pay somewhat what I could afford to pay.

And it's a very blue-collar, dense area. I needed something that was more related to what I was going for career-wise. What are you going for? I want to work directly with the mortgage industry. One of the biggest pain points is the fact that since I got messed over on my loan, I want to be able to learn as much as I can and hopefully work towards making money within the mortgage industry in the future. Oh, there's plenty of mortgages industry in Tampa, Florida.

Maybe more than Pontiac, Michigan. Yeah. Based on the, well, Michigan itself has the two biggest mortgage lenders in the country, United Wholesale and Rocket Mortgage. Are you working for either one of them? Yes, I'm currently working for United. Okay. What are you doing? I'm an underwriter.

You're a mortgage underwriter? Correct. What were you doing? I'm an underwriter. You're a mortgage underwriter. Correct. What were you making before? I was making about the same. I was working as an accounts executive for an insurance company. What do you make? $55K. And you had a $2,200 house payment on $55K. Right.

So there was the problem. It really wasn't even the job loss it was just the stupid purchase and you paid you paid more for the house than it was worth yeah basically i think um once uh everything was said and done i didn't really realize that if i'm offering 255 that I'd actually be buying it. That plus the closing costs, which I paid like $16,000 for at the time. Why? That was a stupid mistake on my end. Why?

Did you pay a bunch of points or something? What's that? Closing costs on $275,000 are not $16,000. You know that as an originator. What did you do? Did you prepay a bunch of points or something? Closing costs on 275 are not 16. You know that as an originator. What would you do? Pre-pay a bunch of points or something? I couldn't tell you what the closing disclosure said.

I'm pretty sure that that included the, I think, $6,000 down and then $10,000 toward the actual closing. Okay. and then $10,000 toward the actual closing. Okay, that still doesn't get you to, okay. All right, so how can we help you? So since I can't rent it out due to the fact that I bought a 6.1 interest rate and people in my area are renting out in under much lower interest at $1,800, I can't really break even. I'm trying to sell. I'm currently belly up with this loan.

If I do sell anything like what I bought it for, on paper it shows $250, that's not including what I actually put down for the home or anything else. So I'd actually be cutting like a $15,000 loss on the home. But you can get rid of it and get it off your back, right? How can I do that? Well, I mean, you're talking about your down payment. Your down payment's just gone. It evaporated.

Right. Okay. So if you sell the house for $255,000, you owe $275,000 on it? The loan was $250,000. Okay. And you got it on the market for $255,000. So now with the real estate commissions and all, you're going to be in the whole $5,000 or $10,000. Can you scratch together the $5,000 or $10,000?

I think so, but I prefer if there were any other alternatives out there. There's not. You have to pay the difference and get out of this. So let me recap for you because I think you've made a couple of assumptions that are wrong in your whole decision-making paradigm, all right? In October, you paid retail for a house way more expensive than you should have bought making $55,000. Stupid. I've done stupid too, so I can say what stupid looks like i know what it

looks like i've done dumber things than this but you signed up you put your name down for a payment that was asinine making 55 grand would you agree with that statement yes and then when you lost your job it exposed the stupidity so the screwing of the mortgage company is not what got you in this mess. What got you in this mess is you paid retail for a house. Now you're going to turn around just a handful of months later and sell a house for retail, which pretty much guarantees retail to retail. Five months later, you're going to lose money. And that's just the story.

That's the story. It's not some big mortgage debacle. It's you signed up for a thing you couldn't afford, and you are selling it very, very quickly, and it has not had time to appreciate it all, so you're going to lose money. Write the check, and when I do something stupid, Gabriel, and I have done a lot of stupid. I've done a lot. This thing right here is not dumb compared to some of the stuff I've done. I got you beat, man. I got a PhD in DUMB, all right? So I'm not picking on you, but I want you to own this. That's important if you own your part in this because you're acting like you're some kind of a victim. You're not a victim. You signed up for this. Now, when you write the check

to lose money on this transaction that you, as adult man signed up for put on the four column of the check stupid tax that's what i do when i do something stupid and i have to give money away because of it i put stupid tax on there and i try not to pay the same stupid tax ever twice and that'll get you set up to go win my friend but there's not there's not any there's not a city i mean there's been a few times you could buy something for retail and a few months later sell it for retail well and the 10 grand people are upside down on that on their car like this is a house so if anything you're getting i mean i see it as a as a gift to get out because you're you're having to pay

2200 a month in a place that you're not living so to get rid of it yeah you have to write a check and be done with it because you're you're you're losing you're gonna lose more than 10 grand in about 20 minutes on this thing so you need to write a check and get out of this house as fast as somebody gives you a nice offer on it take it and go put the difference on a credit card go put the difference on a personal loan you've already got the debt i'm just moving the debt i didn't date ramsey didn't date and go to debt i just told you to move some of your debt over to something else. I got a really small amount of debt, 10 grand in debt rather than 255. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This is the season for Halloween. It's October. We're wearing costumes and we're wearing masks. If you haven't started

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Visit betterhelp.com slash DELONI to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash DELONI. Thanks for listening, America. We're so glad you're here. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host at 888-825-5225. Justin's in Spokane, Washington.

Hi, Justin. How are you? I'm blessed. Good. How can I help? So about a year and a half ago, we were gifted over $3 million into a particular stock from a family member. Wow.

We've paid off debts. We've built our forever home. We now have about over a million sitting in that stock, but I hate having all of our eggs in one basket, and I'm looking for some tools to diversify and set everything up for our tools to diversify and um set everything up for our kids etc ouch that's wonderful i hate it when somebody gives me three million dollars right oh man how old are you guys uh 45 okay so you're the guy with the

rich uncle i always wondered where you were. You know. Oh, my gosh. Well, y'all have done so well already, number one. Yeah, you've been very smart. That's very wise. You've been very smart. So the person's still alive, right? Correct. Okay.

So you've already discovered from your tax people that your basis to calculate your capital gain when you sell this is whatever they paid for it. Correct. Correct. Okay. So, in other words, if you have a million dollars in stock left and they paid $400,000 for it, you're going to pay taxes on the $600,000 gain. Correct. Okay.

All right. As long as you know that, then we're a step ahead. You've done a really good job on this. Way to go. Thank you. And which company is it in? Apple. Oh, wow. And which company is it in? Apple. Oh, wow.

It's a great stock. Yeah. Yeah. No wonder. I mean, that stock's done extremely well. Well, that's cool, man. And you're very smart to not leave it all in one place, even if it is Apple. And I'm a fan.

I don't own any Apple, but I'm a fan of the company, of the business and everything. They've done a wonderful job. I mean, I own some mutual funds that own Apple, lots of them. So you're going to diversify it so that you don't, if Apple puts out a bad screen or something that stock tanks, you don't get caught, right? Correct. Very smart, very smart.

Okay, so your plan is to sell it and do something else with the money after you pay your taxes, correct? Correct. So what do you plan to do? I'd like to find some passive income opportunities as well as setting aside for retirement and money for the kids if they decide to go to college or trade school in the future. I mean, you easily drop easily drop 50 grand a kid into

529 hold of the kiddos uh five and seven yeah 50 grand and each of those you'll be done for college that's it that's 100 of it if you want to do that you want to save money for something else for the kids just save it in your name and you can do something for them later um okay if you want to help them with a house or something later in addition to college that's very cool um and then passive income what do you mean by passive income i mean my wife works full-time i'm part-time and i also take care of the kids so i'm just looking for ways to just bring in money um you know use our money to make money essentially okay all right using your money to make money, essentially. Okay. All right.

Using your money to make money may or may not be passive income. The people on TikTok call real estate passive income. Real estate's not passive. No, no, it definitely is not. You own a bunch of real estate, and if you go buy some real estate, expect it to be active, not passive. So it's good. It's a good investment, but it's not something like you just sit and money shows up in your account mutual funds are pretty passive i don't do much with

those except just watch the number come into my email inbox right perfect so i mean you can do some of that and if you want to buy a piece of real estate now there are types of real estate that are more active require more hassle and drama than other types. Okay. So there are very, um, Pat, there are very, um, low maintenance versions of real estate. For instance, you could buy a little warehouse on what's called a triple net lease. Triple net means they pay the lights and water that the tenant, they pay the lights and water that the tenant they pay the insurance and they pay the taxes and they pay you rent oh okay and they do the maintenance so that is very that's close to passive it's about as close to passive as you can get in real estate so a little warehouse deal with a triple net lease

is a is a low uh drama type of real estate to own the highest drama real estate to own is very high yielding but it's it's a lot of drama and that's lower income residential okay you make a lot of money on it for the money you put in but it's a major pain in the butt yeah so uh and it's sometimes even dangerous but the uh and i've owned both both of the two things we're talking about i don't own either one of those two right now i've owned both both of the two things we're talking about i don't own either one of those two right now i wouldn't buy one of those warehouses if i found one but anyway that's the kind of stuff you're looking for and then just take your time you've got time on your side um and you know the the good news is you can liquidate this stock in 72 hours

pretty easy. So until you decide what you're going to do with it, I'd let it sit there. Correct, yeah, and that's what we've been doing for the last year and a half. I'm just kind of getting to a point where I'm like, okay, we have all this here. I'm a little worried about what we can do with it in a smart way, you know, to sustain things, but also how to do something. Rachel's husband, Winston, handles all of our real estate, and he does some real estate for he and Rachel as well. So we're real estate people.

We like real estate, but not everybody does. And I buy mutual funds. That's the only two things I do. Okay. And you do whatever you want to do. But those are two things that are long-term, conservative, not fancy. Yeah, and even, Justin, going and getting paid for a couple of rentals and having that, that's kind of a medium way of going about it. Nice neighborhood.

I mean, if you know what you're doing in real estate, I don't know if you are, flipping is great, but you have to have a team. You have to know what you're doing in real estate i don't know if you are flipping is great but you have to like have a team you have to know what you're doing i mean that's a it's a it's a learning curve if you don't know already but uh but there's yeah i have friends in that so they're familiar with it and that's something that's on my radar but yeah you know once again not having 100 knowledge on it it makes it a little more tough to just jump in i know there's a lot that goes into that and you could start with something small i mean even some stuff you know winston's done i mean he got a house for like i don't know 80 80 000 i think down like in somewhere tennessee

and put some money in and flipped it and it was great but it was the first time of like okay you know it's not like it's it's testing out the water to see okay do we enjoy this is this fun uh what did we learn but like start small is what i would say but it but quickly that returned i mean it's it has shocked me over did real well well and and others i'm like it's just it is a it's a fun thing but again you have to love it and that's his job and that's what he enjoys and you know all of that but there's a sharp learning curve with it but if you can get it and take your time don't get fancy make sure you set the tax money aside because you're going to have a tax bill and if you do all that you've you've already done so many smart things i trust you to do more smart things i think you're going

to end up with a 10 or 20 million dollar net worth as a result of this gift it's not going to be long at all very very well done very well handled congratulations wouldn't it be cool to have an uncle or whoever he didn't say who it was family member just hand you three million dollars and i get what he's saying where he's like oh my gosh we have everything paid for what do i do now and like i work part-time i'm with the kids my wife works all the time but we're but we have a million dollars like how can we be living off that i mean like there is a feeling of like invest in mutual And like I work part-time, I'm with the kids, my wife works full-time, but we have a million dollars. Like how can we be living off that? I mean, like there is a feeling of like. Invest in mutual funds.

If you just drop the whole thing, ding. In a mutual fund. And then what? And you live off the. It might go a hundred grand a year. Yeah. And you just live off that return. Pretty easy.

Yeah. Pretty easy. So. Give or take. I mean, it might make 80 some years. It might make 140 some years. Yeah. Somewhere in there.

And that's a little bit of a different call when we talk about net worth millionaires usually it's tied up in your primary residence or in your 401k that you can't touch but when you have something that is so liquid i could i could hear him be like gosh i feel like we could have more freedom in our lives or be making money off this money right um so yeah so i hear you gabriel you know what that's what passive meant when he said yes yes it wasn't the tic-tac people no no i think it was just like gosh we have a million dollars so yeah, so I hear you, Gabriel. You know what, that's what passive meant when he said passive then. Yes, yes. It wasn't the tic-tac people. No, no, no, I think it was just like,

gosh, we have a million dollars. I ought to be able to put that somewhere and it ought to send me a check. Exactly. And you would say in that case, a mutual fund is what you would do. That's exactly what I'd do. It's what I've done.

But yeah, but in addition to that, I bought income producing real estate in addition to that. And real estate will typically, folks, yield you more money than mutual funds will if you purchase it properly, if it's income-producing real estate, but it has a lot more hassle to it. Do not be confused that renters pay your payments. No, they don't.

You pay cash for your real estate, because sometimes renters are renters because they don't pay You pay cash for your real estate, but sometimes renters are renters because they don't pay. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey guys, George Campbell here. As a new dad, I see a lot of things in a new light. The cost of diapers, the value of sleep, and how crucial it is to have a will. Because if something happens to me, I don't want my family stressing about the details. And that's why I recommend making a will with Mama Bear Legal Forms. A will gives you peace of mind knowing things will be taken care of the way you want, instead of a random probate judge deciding who gets your fine china or precious moments collection. Looking at you, Aunt Shirley.

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If it's talk radio, we've got 608 talk radio stations that carry this show every day all across America, and thank you for that, stations. And if you're listening to one of those stations, tell people where you're listening. Ann is with us in Lansing, Michigan. Hi, Ann. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi there.

Hey, what's up? So my basic question is, is it okay for my mother-in-law to put her money into improvements on our property if we put it in writing that she can then stay with us rent free for the rest of our life why would i know you're not a yeah i know you're not a fan of no i'm not i'm not a fan of this why would you want to do that so my husband and i are in baby step two so we can't really help much financially we coordinated an fpu class my mother-in-law joined in that one and in doing so we discovered just how bad her financial situation really is. She's got a paid-for house, paid-for car, but nothing else except for about $1,500 in the bank,

and that's about what she owes on property taxes. And how old is she? She's 75. So she's living on Social Security? She's also still working part-time at about $1,400 take-home pay a month. Oh, good. Okay. Yeah.

So she's got about $3,000 or $4,000 a month to live on. Yes. So she's doing okay now. Yeah, she should be. But that's not going to last forever, and we'd like to have a plan in place before we are having to make decisions from an emotional place. Is she in, is she in not great health? I mean, if she's still working at 75, has she a young 75 or?

No, no. She is. Yeah. She has already like, she's already broken a hip. She's got two knees replaced. She was just out of work for about two weeks for some internal problems. She has trouble walking. She doesn't use a cane anymore.

She's rehabbed from that. But she's not the most spry of people. And she's working at a women's homeless shelter where the folks there are under a lot of stress and don't have the best conflict resolution skills, and she is not the most tactful lady. So there's a concern that she's going to push somebody too far Sunday, and they're going to respond physically. Okay. All right.

That's – okay. And your home is how large so um we've got three bedrooms and and a dining room that we would then convert into her bedroom if she came to live with us she doesn't really want to do that but we know that that's what's coming because she's either staying with us or she's going to be enthroned to the mercy of a Medicaid nursing home and nobody wants that. So there's no other kids? She has an estranged daughter who hasn't spoken to her in about the last 10 years. No other kids other than that? Nope, just my husband. How much is her house worth? She paid $75,000 for it about two years ago. It's a really small two-bedroom in not such a nice neighborhood.

Could you sell it for about that? It's paid off, right, you said? Right, yes. So you think it would be about $75,000 still? Right. I'm hoping it would be maybe 75 still right that's i'm hoping it would be maybe more but 75 is kind of what we're thinking at least now our property is actually two lots back to front um on the back lot there's already a two-story barn that has really that has heat and electricity and really good insulation we could convert that to a living space by just running water out there and then finishing the inside better. She loves that idea, but we don't have anywhere near the cash to make that happen.

She would have to sell her house, use a portion of the proceeds to do that, and then stay there, being on our property, but still having a locked door in her own kitchen yeah and when she passes you'd have a barn dominium out back right right so the there's a there's a cold wait a minute stop a second as codes allow that yes a second living unit in and on that piece of property in that neighborhood. Yes, because it's technically two lots. Okay. Yeah. Because you've got to have a building permit,

because you've got to be able to sell this again someday. Right, right. Okay. All right. Yeah, but you need to spend $500 with an attorney and have this drawn up airtight. Okay. That you're promising to let her live there in that property,

rent-free with you. What are you furnishing? Utilities? What are you furnishing? Food? What are you furnishing? Every detail, what you're furnishing, what you're not furnishing. I'm not buying the food.

I'm not buying the electricity. Whatever it is you're not, or I don't care which one you buy, but you just write it down, everything that is included and is not included, and that upon her death that there is nothing owed by you to the estate. Okay. Yeah, I have an attorney draft that. There's the other kids gone off the picture, and make sure she has a will that states the exact same parallel thing as

this agreement yeah yeah i believe i would do this okay yeah you've thought it through real clear um i don't like the concept in general for the rest of you out there generally this ends up screwed up and the other thing i'm fishing for and i didn't find it in ann's call was that you do something stupid to your house and make it unsellable because you build some white elephant that nobody in their right mind would ever buy but it worked for you for four years you know that's what people do they get emotional about this stuff and justify it but the way you've got this described separate lot separate piece of separate building it's already got water you've thought that through that's very well done

it's marketable codes is allowing it you're not destroying your the value of your current home separate building. It's already got water. You've thought that through. That's very well done. It's marketable. CODES is allowing it. You're not destroying the value of your current home. You're not destroying the marketability of it. You don't have another relative out there that's probably going to swoop in and give you a hard time. And if they do, you could have this hair tight enough, given the estrangement, that you'd be just fine. But make sure you've got a solid will and a solid living agreement arrangement whatever the attorney in michigan wants to call that but yeah i would do this if she's up for that whole idea right she loves the idea and your husband and she would not she would not have to work anymore that's right she would not have to work she could live entirely on her social security keep

supporting the charity she wants to have a wonderful don't call me back and tell me you spent 115 and went in debt on the barn dominium oh no no like i said we are rocking baby step two we are yeah i know you're gonna rock his 75 and not a dime more on the barn dominium right absolutely all right making sure we get our boundaries here and i what i gave permission to do and not to do for your own sake i don't care i'm kidding with you but um yeah that's be very very clear on what you're doing there. Yeah, that's an unusual situation. And, you know, it's an elderly parent. And that's always a hard.

Yeah. And that's a I mean, that's a hard place to be when you're, you know, it's that sandwich generation, right? It's, you know, and, you know, adult kids, you know, if they have, you know, come back and live with them because times are hard now and you can't buy a house. And then the parents are failing health-wise and you're having, you know what I mean? It's that sandwich generation. So if you, it's hard. It's weird. I just spent an hour and a half this morning recording for Pat's Place. Pat had summit, died of early onset dementia, a basketball coach at

University of Tennessee. We knew her and our foundation is one of the people that come alongside that and they were they're doing a whole website on how to prepare and i spent an hour on camera this morning uh just helping them build that website out and giving them content pieces just exactly like this you know what to do what not to do and i was just addressing the same kind of stuff this morning it It's weird. Yeah. Yeah, very cool. But yeah, the early onset dementia and memory loss, that kind of thing is a thing. Yeah, and to Anne's, you know, I mean, I applaud her and so many people that it's not always the American way to like take care of your family.

Other cultures do this really well. But it's that, you know, there has to be a lot of boundaries in place and you want to do it wisely. But you also want to honor your parents. You want to help your parents. Right. I mean, if something is going down, it's like, gosh, and they don't have anything. She's living on Social Security, working part time, not in great health. Like there is a I do.

I do applaud. I heard a daughter in law that loves her mother in law. Yeah. Very clearly in the way she described the whole thing. Very well done. This is the Ramsey Show. Do you ever feel like you're finally making progress towards your goals only to get quickly distracted by something else in your feed? Well, that's why we created the Ramsey Network app,

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, host of The Rachel Cruz Show, co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour, both on Ramsey Networks, and my daughter is my co-host today. Skyler is in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Skyler. How are you? Hi, Dave. Peace and blessings to you both.

You too. What's up? Yeah, I'm calling because my wife and I, we've been really struggling. We're trying to make ends meet. Uh, we're have debt that we're trying to overcome. Uh, we know what we need to do. Um, but the main, main thing to focus on right now is that a couple of weeks ago, she, my wife got a bill from discover, um, that we haven't paid. It's about $7,0007,000 from our move here to Charlotte about a year and a half ago. But two weeks after moving, I lost my job. So it's kind of been a struggle ever since then trying to catch up on our bills, try to even tackle any kind of debt we both have, and then we're really trying to figure out what we need to do about the $7,000 bill because they want to take it to court now.

So I'm just trying to find out how to address that and then figure out what steps we kind of need to take to be able to even try to think about tackling debt when we're just struggling with the interview. Yeah. How long have you guys been married? We've been married nine years. Okay. This is probably the scariest y'all have been.

Um, it's kind of high stress and terrifying, isn't it, dude? Yeah. Especially when we got three kids and my mother-in-law that we're trying to provide for as well. So yeah. Your mother-in-law lives with you? Yes. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Wow. I'm sorry, man. That's hard. Um, it's the kind of stuff that screws up a marriage. So be careful. We can, we can definitely walk with you. We'll, we'll have some ideas over the next few minutes. Um, but you guys are probably going to have to get a lot more radical than you've been getting. I hope you're ready for that. Cause we're about to set you on fire okay here we go you ready yes okay not working for a year inside of charlotte north carolina is not okay there's plenty of crap to do there you need to get your butt you need to get your butt in gear and get six jobs right now ready set go delivering pizza delivering door dash cutting grass cleaning out septic tanks walking dogs cleaning up poop i don't care what you're doing. You need to get in gear.

Skyler, have you been working? Yeah, just to clarify, I eventually did because right after I lost my job, I started driving for UPS with my own car and doing DoorDash. And I do have employment. It's just that the money that I bring in is enough to pay the bills. What are you bringing in now? Take home is probably about $63,000 after taxes. Is that just UPS, or what is that?

No, that's working as a recruiter. Oh, okay. So you've got a different job now. Yes. And are you working the other side job still? Yeah, just doing DoorDash. What's that bringing in? Not very much um not doing it much uh yeah just trying to find doing it when i have the time yeah you got time all right you're broke um what what's your wife do uh she had her own

herbal poppy care business but she had to dissolve that um because after moving she wasn't making much money and she's applying for jobs now uh trying to find something to try to help self-immit yeah how old are your kids uh so we have a five-year-old 15-year-old and our other son is recently turned 21 okay he's still at home too uh yes what's he do for a living um right now he's working uh with someone doing like pressure washing and window cleaning making about 16 an hour doing that 40 hours at least uh right now he needs to be working for he's 21 years old how old's your mother-in-law uh she's in her 60s so am i what's she do for a living uh she's uh retired why she's broke yeah she's been applying this to jobs as well okay here's what i'm pointing out to you dude your problem when you called in and and and

i'm i'm gonna mess with you because i love you but your problem when you called in is you can't pay your bills and you know why you can't pay your bills there's not enough money coming into the house and you know why there's not enough money coming in the house all these grown adults aren't working right that's why work is where money comes from everybody needs a job ready set go we're broke mama dunn got sued by discover we about to get in gear people i am sick and tired of living like this 21 year old get your butt out of bed and don't talk to me about going to happy hour at three o'clock on friday be happy you working no. No, he's not saying he doesn't work hard. I'm just saying.

I've been 21. All right, get after it. Everybody, line up and get after it because that's what's going on. You're working your tail end off at less than you used to make, but you can't find time even then to do door dives. Yeah, you can find time. Throw a brick through your television. Your wife just is threatening to get sued. But you can't find time even then to do door dives. Yeah, you can find time. Throw a brick through your television.

Your wife just got, is threatened to get sued. This is where you're, this is when you get this kind of thing going, that's going to help. So the first step to solving your problem. Even if she made two, $3,000 a month. You know what I mean? Your wife. Yeah. And your mother-in-law too. And your son.

Hello. Hello. Everybody that lives there. You don't make enough to feed all these humans that are sitting on their butt they all got to work that's what's going on i'm sorry man i would love it if everybody could lounge around but we don't have this as an option and your mother-in-law whatever she's got coming in social security or whatever else it goes in the pool if she's living there it goes right there on the kitchen table with everybody else throws their money in the

middle of the table we're going to pay our bills because I'm feeding you and housing you, so we're going to use your money to pay our bills. That's how this works. Everybody bones up here. Now, once you're doing that, anything we can do to get your income up, then let's stop and get organized. So Discover hadn't been paid in a year, right? Who else hadn't been paid? That was the main one because we used that card.

That's the card that we used to move. Okay. How much debt do you have total, not counting the house? We rent. So me and my wife combined, we have about $70,000, but that doesn't include her student loans. Okay. What's the $70,000?

Personal loans, credit cards, including my student loans, about $17,000 in student loans and that as well. Car? Yes, one. How much? It's about

$7,000, $8,000. Good. I'm glad you didn't tell me 50 grand okay no no good well that way you get to keep the car and so um all right so you've got seven thousand in car 17 in student loans 24 but 70 so there's another 40 in credit cards and personal loans. Yes. Plus your wife's student loans is how much? There's over six figures, I'm sure.

Yeah, and what's her degree in? Is she a lawyer or a doctor? No, psychology. Psychology. And counseling. Okay. Oh, is she licensed? No, she's trying to get licensed.

She's trying to get licensed as well. So she's actually in. She got her master's? Yeah, she has her master's, and she has an interview to get into the program to get licensed. Okay, good. Meanwhile, we make money. Meanwhile, we make money. So, hey, we're going to put you guys into Financial Peace University and teach you how to work your budget and work together. But I'm going to work everybody in that house. I'm going to work you hard, man, because're going to put you guys into Financial Peace University and teach you how to work your budget and work together.

But I'm going to work everybody in that house. I'm going to work you hard, man, because it's what I did. It's how I got out. It's where money comes from. Go get you some. And then get these bills caught up. I'll show you how. I'll pay for it.

Hold on. I'm going to give it to you free. You know, it doesn't take a degree in statistics to realize this one stinks. 93% of undergraduate private student loans are co-signed. So when you're delinquent and drowning, mom or papa or uncle Joe is stuck in that financial stress along with you. But there is a way out. YRefi. YRefi offers a custom refinancing option with a fixed rate loan based on your ability to pay. And the average interest rate YRefi offers is 3.9%,

which can significantly reduce your monthly payment and decrease your total cost. Contact YRefi at 844-2-RAMSI or go to YRefi.com slash Ramsi. That's 844-2-RAMSI or the letter Y, then R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey. Why Refi is not licensed by the California Department of Financial Protection and Innovation. Why Refi is not authorized by the New York State Department of Financial Services to service any New York loans. Funding may not be available in all states. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Among the Ramsey personalities, Ken Coleman and Rachel Cruz are by far the most way into politics. Behind the scenes,

we hear some great discussions with these two. Ken came busting in just a moment ago. For those of you affiliates carrying us live, Trump has just announced J.D. Vance to be his running mate for anybody that cares. And there you go. And so I love J.D., by the way. I may or may not have predicted that. You might have actually predicted that about a few hours ago. You and Ken were having a lengthy discussion while the rest of us are watched. And the book Hillbilly Elegy was what brought him to the forefront. One of the things it did, and he's the author of it.

It's a great book, by the way. Regardless of whether you agree with Trump or politics or anything else, you'll enjoy the book. It's a great read. It caused me to go down a rabbit hole and read a whole bunch of stuff on Scots-Irish. It's very good stuff very good information so uh challenge you to read that if you want to know a little bit more about jd um because it's pretty much a what's his story it's kind of like the educated glass castle if you're a book fan it's kind of in that genre um educated glass castle no it's not it's not more educated than glass castle was both of

them were about your story it's about people's stories and how they grew up those are people that overcame yeah and then you grow up in these wild environments and you're just like oh my gosh like it's and then go be and then go be somebody yeah and they did yeah but i mean like the the stories and stuff that i mean people that i just grew up you know boring compared to some of these i was gonna say you probably promised for you based on those two stories aaron is in tulsa oklahoma hi aaron how are you uh better than i deserve um my question today is i need a vehicle in the next month, and I'm wondering if I should wait and tough it out until I have enough money, which is $5,000 to $7,000.

I wonder if it's been on a good, reliable vehicle, or if I should go ahead and finance. How much do you have today? I have $800. And you have no car at all? So this vehicle is for my significant other. You're going to buy a car for somebody you're not married to? I mean, it's probably going to be in my name and then she'll drive it.

You're going to buy a car for somebody you're not married to? Possibly going into debt for that, too. Yeah, you want to know how to screw up a relationship? Go into debt and buy a girl a car. That'll make you hate the girl. What? No, it won't. Not necessarily, but Aaron, no, it's just not smart.

By the time this is over? Hold on, Aaron, why can't she go buy a car? Oh, there's an idea well i mean because i'm the one taking her and transporting her to her to her job yeah and why can't she buy a car i mean because she just doesn't make enough to be able to have it by the time we need it we why do we need a car she needs a car you have one by the time you need we need it what do you mean what does that mean is there something happening in the future yeah i mean she has to be able to get to school and then it's her job herself okay so how what was she going to do before you i mean like what was her plan of life to live life independently right before she

met you what was she how was she doing that anyways she i mean with her parents okay we're 17 and 18 oh you're 17 and 18 right now yeah yes okay and she doesn't live with her parents anymore? No, not anymore. Okay. She lives with you? Yes. And you have $800? Yes. And you're 17 and 18? Are you all in high school?

Yes. Yes. Okay. Oh, Aaron, I don't know. I just felt this like mom heart. You're a kid. Like this isn't your responsibility. This is not. This isn't right. this like mom heart. You're a kid. Like this isn't your response. This is not,

this isn't right. This isn't, this isn't right. You're a kid. You're, you should not be taking care of another teenager regardless of relationship. So, um,

that's not, that's yeah. Who's 17? Uh, me. Okay. So you're not a legal adult yet in the great state of Oklahoma until you're 18. You can't sign a contract under contract law in the state of Oklahoma.

Are you living with your parents, Aaron? Yes. What do they say about this? I mean, they want her to pay for her vehicle and i understand that and um uh it just wouldn't be possible yes it is now it's as possible as you paying for it both sound pretty impossible but her buying it is it is singularly as possible as you. Are you in high school and she's graduated? No, we're both juniors. You're both going into senior year.

You just finished your junior year of high school. Yes. Okay. Why did she leave her parents' house? Just a lot of bad situations, a lot of it. That was pretty vague. Was there safety issues involved? Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Okay, so the answer to your question is very complex. It's not as simple as you see it. You called and asked us, so we're going to love you well and tell you the truth because we care about her. We care about

you. We want you to win long term. Okay. The situation that has set itself up at a very, very young age has very bad statistical probabilities. And what I mean by that is the chance of you two ending up married and successful 40 years from now is close to zero. Okay. And there's all kinds of data to back that up. It's not just some kind of old guy trying to pop your little love balloon here. Okay. But the deal is it's sweet that you all gave this girl a place to live because she's got a toxic home environment. Now, you need to keep her life separate from yours. You are not a legal adult, and you do not need to be buying a girlfriend a car. By the way, I would tell you that if you're 27, except for the legal adult part,

I would tell you not to buy your girlfriend a car because it's a good way for her to end up hating you or you hating her while you pay payments on the car. It really does happen every day. We talk to people all the time on this. So if she wants to get a car, I would suggest she work 24-7 and your mom and dad coach her and feed her and give her a place to live so that she can put all of her money in a pile and get a car, a little $3,000 or $4,000 car that she pays cash for while working her tail end off this summer. Then you drive your car and go to school and graduate from high school, sir. And she drives her car and goes to high school and graduates, sir. And then let's talk about combining our finances after we're married someday, if that ever occurs. That gives you the best statistical probability of winning.

Okay? Okay. So there's an in-depth body of research done about 10 years ago that says if you follow the proper life order, that your probability of not ending up at the poverty level is almost zero. 97% chance you will not be at the poverty level if you graduate from high school before you get married and if you get married before you have a baby. So don't be making babies and don't be getting married until you graduate from high school and

do it in the right order. If you do those three things, you have a 97% chance of not being at the poverty level in America today. Isn't that bizarre? Something that simple. And that's what this conversation is scaring Rachel and me for y'all. Because you're going to get this out of order, dude, if you're not real careful. Well, and you're taking on responsibility, Aaron. That's not your responsibility.

You're carrying something as a 17-year-old kid that you don't need to carry. You're a young man, and this is not your job. The adults in her life failed her. Your mom and dad are being generous and giving her a place to stay. It is not your job to finance her life at 17, okay? I want to relieve you of that. That's not an act of love on your part. It's an act of desperation and displaced, misplaced honor.

Please let mom and dad, let her handle this. If your mom and dad want to give her $1,000, just give it to her and help her get a car. That's okay. I don't mind doing that. I don't mind helping the young lady. But let's keep this stuff in the right order. And because the way you presented all this stuff to us was like you were two people in your 20s or something. And we had to dig into the conversation underneath your bad language that said you were acting like you're something you're not.

So quit that. This is The Ramsey Show. Are you working the baby steps? One of the smartest and most impactful changes you can make is to ditch your cash value life insurance plan, if you have one, and replace it with a term life policy. Listen, the only thing a cash value policy is good for is overcharging you for the life insurance and then paying you a crappy rate of return on your overpayment. Stop wasting your money and really focus on getting out of debt and growing your savings. For over 25 years, I've trusted and used Zander Insurance to find the best rates on term life insurance from the top-rated companies. They keep the whole thing simple.

You can apply online or over the phone, and they even have low-cost plans that don't require an exam. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Even if you don't have a cash value policy, if you're one of the 70% of people who have no life insurance or not enough, it's even more important to get this done. 800-356-4282 or zander.com. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Today's question of the day comes from Erin in Washington. Erin says, I'm 32 years old and my fiance is 29, and together we are worth $1.4 million.

We have no debt, but I'm having trouble justifying the cost of our wedding. With current quotes, we estimate the total cost to be around 50 to 65 thousand and that is after cutting out a lot of things that you traditionally plan around a wedding like a bachelor or bachelorette trip i was raised in a frugal household and i only recently started to embrace treating myself out from time to time on one hand i genuinely want to celebrate with our friends and family but on the other uh my head and heart hurt the fact that it'll cost us over fifty thousand dollars almost five hundred thousand dollars in opportunity cost based on a seven percent compounding annual return for the next 30 years somebody give aaron a glass of champagne uh how can we analyze our options and make the right call without looking back with regrets? Aaron, we know who the nerd is in the family. Who does 7% compounding interest on your wedding and compares it on the opportunity cost?

Me. I would do something like that. This is where you want to live, Aaron. You are a fellow nerd. I salute you. Live and enjoy. Oh, my gosh. Stop being so uptight.

Go enjoy. Go enjoy. You have the money. The information we don't have is what your household income is. But if you're 1.4 million at 32 and 29, you're already millionaires. My guess is, is that your income is probably approaching, you know, 150 or 200. That would be my guess. Wouldn't you? No, I don't know. i don't know i'm guessing i have no clue yeah i mean i would assume they're doing very well yeah i can tell you this the average wedding cost in america today published surveys 28 000 i was gonna say i think it's and i saw some 35 okay maybe inflation so okay 30 let's call it 30 000 bucks all right and the average household income is around $70,000.

So people are spending a little less than half their annual income on a wedding these days, as an example. That's average. And you can be above average, you can be below average, and you can decide what you wanted to call, whether you call that whole thing crazy or not. Okay, you can have that discussion. That's all fine. But if you're making $150,000 a year, you're worth $1.4's all fine. Uh, but if you're making 150,000 bucks a year, you're worth 1.4 and you spend 50 grand on a wedding. It is not out of line. It's not like I'm a nerd and I'm frugal, but it's not like blowing my mind. Okay. So the way we look

at expenditures is, are they unreasonable? It's not the amount. It's the amount in ratio to your income in ratio to your income in ratio to your net worth can you put that amount of money in the middle of the kitchen floor and burn it and still be okay because that's what you're getting ready to do well it is a lot of happiness there's a lot of happiness there's a lot of happiness and then it's over like 24 hours later okay and memories that you last forever and the photos will not come out of the storage closet for the next 25 years. So, and the videos won't even be in the right format to watch them anymore. I was going to say.

So, who's got a DVD player? Who's got a VHS player? Everybody raise your hand. Yeah. So, yeah, that's, and paid a lot of money for that videographer. But here's the thing. So, he had a big old chunky thing on his shoulder. Life is to be enjoyed.

It is, it is. And I think you spend it. And people, yes. I think you do it. I think you do it. But you do it in ratio to your income and in ratio to your net worth. And given your net worth and your age, I'm going to extrapolate an income out of that and say that in both cases you're okay if you called and said

150,000 or wrote in is what my mother-in-law to be wants to spend and i don't and we make 150 i would say no i agree with you that's too much because it's a ratio it's a ratio to what can you that's the way i ask myself about some of the things I've spent money on that is consumption. And Aaron obviously says, yeah, he has recently just embraced treating himself. Enjoying life.

Yes, so enjoy it. It's good, it's good. I think you're okay, Aaron. And I think you're okay to stop it there too. And you're okay to say, that's all I'm going to do I'm not going to sure and having a budget is smart regardless of what money you have because this is a black hole this can be a wedding can become a there's the next the next so you do want a amount that you're like okay this feels right and we're going to budget around that you know that's a good thing to go back to because the wedding is one of those things where the players that are involved

if you're doing project management the stakeholders are crazy and they cannot be told no no one can tell the mother no no one can tell the daughter no like the florist i'm just saying it's like so the thing the thing that we did successfully and rachel obviously is the enjoy life ramsey um and so we did successfully with rachel denise even daniel we participated some in that wedding um was we set a number and then we said okay based on that number what are you going to spend on the dress what are you going to spend on the reception from it yeah what are you going to spend on the reception and break down yeah exactly what you're going to have what percentage of that number so out of your 60,000 what's going to be the dress out of your

60,000 what's going to be the reception what's going to be the photographer what's going to be the venue what are you going to pay the preacher well just gives you and you manage the you manage it's an event management budget and you lay the budget out. Oh, and by the way, you and your bride-to-be lay that budget out without any of these other crazy people in the room, and then you guys are in charge of your life and your money, and that's what we're going to spend. So when you go to the caterer and the caterer goes, oh, for $10,000 more we can.

No, this is what we said we were going to do. And the florist says, oh, for $5,000 more. No, this is what we said we were going to do because the florist says oh for 5 000 no this is what we said we were going to do because every one of them are used to jacking everybody up it's a jack up industry and so you've got to have a plan and you got to stick to the plan and you got to be in agreement and unified yeah and it's the first large project you're going to manage together as a couple and in a lot of these situations even just the word wedding wedding invitation wedding cake if you just went

bought cake or got an invite there actually been there's been studies done that it's significantly marked up because it has the word wedding next to it too so be thinking about that put baby in front of it too yeah yes yes it's like it's like i can go to ace hardware and buy a stainless steel screw for for 12 and a half cents but if you say it's for a boat it's 12 dollars if you say it's for an airplane it's 3 700 it's the same screw you know i mean it's the same thing it's the exact same deal you just yeah it's what what does the space allow and you've got to manage to that so aaron you've got all of that to manage against already uh but then enjoy the day shut up and enjoy the day but it doesn't mean no

boundaries. That's right. Yeah. We're going to set the boundaries. We're going to set a game plan, detail, line item out the budget. You're a nerd. You'll be able to do that. You and your spouse agree to it. Be kind and gentle and just smile and tell everyone now that we've, you know, whatever her name is. And I have agreed to this. Now we've agreed to this. No, this is what we've agreed to. We need to bring it back down to that. And that is, we've, you know, whatever her name is. And I have agreed to this. No, we've agreed to this. No, this is what we've agreed to. We need to bring it back down to that. And this is what we've agreed to. Well, we can't do that because this is what we've agreed to.

And you just keep that. You're going to, you're going to say that 4,000 times in the next year. And I'll say this as the, as the woman, I think that the way Aaron spelled, I'm assuming he's a dude. So I think if she has had a dream of like you know the flowers being this well then cut the budget somewhere else that's right so like let her erin oh yeah like for sure if she wants to spend more or less on the dress whatever as long as the total doesn't exceed that's right it's the same thing decorating a stinking house yeah you know as long as you do

whatever you want to do as long as the total doesn't exceed that's right it's the same thing decorating a stinking house yeah you know as long as you do whatever you want to do as long as the total doesn't exceed that's right yeah and so spend more in the living area and downstairs where nobody goes put the cheap carpet and let me just say we were talking we did a photo shoot for the show the rams here so all the rams the person including dave we were all together at 10 o'clock this morning shooting pictures so some of us were talking before you got there my favorite thing um we Dave hates photo shoots, which, yeah, it's fine. You did great, though. You smiled. It was great.

But we were talking about, you know, part of the Ramsey plan, like so much of this show, it is helping people get out. A lot of people are underwater, right? The inflation is high. There's not a lot of margin, right, for the average person listening. And our goal is that you do this stuff over a long period of time, and you're going to see a lot of traction. You're going to look up and, you know, five years and your life is going to look different.

So when you get to that point, enjoy it. Like, enjoy it. Spend, save and give. It's three buckets. And for some reason, sometimes our Ramsey fellow listeners that got to the point of winning, they don't enjoy it. So enjoy it. Live like no one else so later you can live. Go to concerts.

And give like no one else. Invite a friend. Go to a concert. Go on a trip. Like, just enjoy life. Not everything has to be on a compound annual return basis. That's true. That's great.

This is The Ramsey Show. Selling a house, buying a house in this weird real estate market is a little weird. So I suggest you get the weirdness out because it's a big old transaction, baby. You get the weirdness out by having a pro in your corner, someone who knows what they're doing, that's high octane, high protein, does lots of transactions a year, 50, 200, 300 transactions a year, whatever. If they're in the Ramsey Trusted Program, meaning they're real estate agents that are endorsed local providers and we have vetted them and we coach them, they're trusted by us, then they are high-octane. They're not somebody got their license three weeks ago

and just that's your Uncle Charlie at the church. no no no no no no ramsey trusted agents have years of experience if you want to find who can represent you buying or selling in this weird market go to ramsey solutions.com slash agent for free we'll tell you who the trusted agents are alex is with us in miami hi alex welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So my parents are in their late 60s. I just found out they only have $200,000 saved for retirement. I'm just wondering how I can help them this late in the game. Okay. Are they willing to accept your help?

Probably not, but at least advice. That's what I mean. They will accept your advice? I believe so, yes. It will be unusual. Yeah, well. It's hard for parents to listen to their kids because we call it the powdered butt syndrome.

Once someone's powdered your butt, they don't want your opinion about sex or money. Yeah, usually that probably will partially be the case. I mean, I'm 26, and I have about that amount saved up already. Yeah. Which should give you street cred, but with anybody else it would, but it's probably less so with your old man. But you can try.

Okay, so you're wanting to just sit down and talk to them, and you're asking how to do that? No. The advice to use, I guess, you know, at 67 years old, there's only so much time, compound interest, a proper ETF investment. Do you have any idea what the $200,000 is invested in? I don't know exactly. I'm sure it's a lot of individual stocks and not ETFs.

What makes you think that? I've seen some of the portfolio. Okay. That's one of the things that I've been saying for years now is get rid of the individuals, go to a normal ETF. Well, an ETF, mutual fund, function about the same way. We recommend mutual funds typically, no big difference. For purposes of diversification, they both accomplish that goal,

and they both have good long track records. If you're doing like an S and P 500 ETF, it's a pretty simple equation, just like buying an S and P index mutual fund, same thing, basically. So, uh, we put our money and I'm in my sixties across four types of mutual funds, growth, growth, and income, aggressive growth and international. And I look for mutual funds for my long-term investing that have long track records of outperforming the S&P. Okay? And because if I'm not going to beat the S&P,

I might as well just drop it on an index, right? Yeah. Okay. So somewhere in that 11.5 to 13 range is where most of that's going to fall over a long period of time as a rate of return. If you've got it invested where it averages 10, it will double every seven years. So if they're 67, when they're 74, it'll be 400 if they keep their hands off of it. When they're 81, it'll be 800 if they don't touch it now do they have other income to live on yep um both parents work um my mom actually had just stopped um

recently but about 270 000 they bring in. Wow. That's why it was shocking. Have they been making that for a long time? A decent bit. So they just spend like they're in Conneris. If only he had listened to you from the get-go. There's some loans that were taken out, still some money on the house that was purchased decades ago. Yeah.

Well, I'm going to use the 270 to clean up any debt that's remaining and try to live on about 50 to 75 and pile up cash because we have a wealth. As you've noted, you have a net worth shortfall, and you've still got debt on your house. These are two problems going into retirement so i want to become debt free and build a nest egg as big as i can build it while we've got this fabulous shovel i've got a large shovel but they can't they can't live on 275 the rest of their life it's not sustainable they don't have it'll be gone in one year. Yeah.

Yeah, it's almost the discipline and the new habits of living on less, going into retirement is going to be important. Yeah. So they're going to have to set a new lifestyle. If I woke up in their shoes at 67, I would give it three really hot years and say at 70 i'm going to relax until then i'm going to burn it burn it burn it down baby what does your dad do what's for a job uh he's an advertiser okay yeah i i mean i i would clean up all debt and stack cash as high as i could stack it by 70 and i bet he could do a lot by then don't you if they really got serious about it now i have no

idea because it sounds like somebody at that house has never told the other person no yeah I mean there's a little bit of that for sure well I mean some of the either we just we live in a constant state of party I don't know what the where the devil's 270 grand is going at 67 years old and if you're broke I mean you know're not broke, but they're dadgum close. So I share your concerns. I hope they will adopt a plan. Now here's what I would do if I were in your shoes. I'll add one last thing to this. Here's how you, those of you that are facing something where you're trying to advise your parents and it's hard for them to listen to you, the powdered butt syndrome and all that. Don't talk about their failures or what they need to do or what's wrong.

Talk about what you did. Say, Dad, you know, here's what I did. And I've already got $200. I'm only $26. Here's what I did. And I did this. And here's what I did. I sacrificed now because I knew if I could get out of debt,

I would have stability and sustainability and have the ability to build wealth. All of these abilities are on there. So get rid of the debt, dad. That's what I did. And then I was able and gosh, if you were to do that, I could help you. I would coach you. I'd be, I'd be your biggest cheerleader. I'm not going to interfere in your business if you don't want me to, but man, I'm so excited

about what this has done for my wife and I, this for our lives and how we've changed because we're doing this stuff in any of this that you would allow me to share with you. I would be so honored. and that's your only shot I was going to say and then temper your expectations because as many parents at that point want to change the way they've been doing money at 67 like you always say Dave sometimes you don't want to change there is a point that they get they're like and and you can't change that alex like you know i mean as as good of intentions as you have and as much as you want to see them do something different you can't you can't you can't force them to change so um there's so i'd say have some realistic expectations just

going in to that conversation too yeah we've been transparent on this show a lot about that i've said it many times on the air that the hardest stage of parenting is when your children are grown because you no longer get to tell them what to do. And they can just go do stupid stuff. And you just have to watch. Now, mine have not done anything extremely stupid, but they don't always do things. They don't do things perfect. They don't do things perfect.

And, you know, here's another thing thing here's another stage that's really frustrating when your parents won't do what you think they should do and you think what your your parents are doing things that you think are stupid that's hard too right rachel a lot of that right rachel we're not doing anything extremely stupid but it's just you're all adults i can't believe you bought that table you know i can't believe you're spending that on that. I can't believe you. But you never say that because it doesn't do any good. And it's not your job to say that. You don't have a position to say that.

So you just have to stand back and watch people that you love be different. And that's hard for kids with their parents. It's hard for parents with their grown kids. And in his case, he's truly like the well and the well-being of his parents is at stake is what he feels. You know what I mean? Like they don't have the money for retirement. He's got a reason to say it. Yeah, exactly. he's truly like the well well and the well-being of his parents is at stake is what he feels you know what I mean like they don't have the money for retirement he's got a reason to say it yeah exactly exactly it's not it's not a minor discomfort about how you cook a steak or something

that's not what it is but it's right but it is a um you made the mashed potatoes wrong or something but it's not it's not that but it's but but and it is coming from a good place but you still have the same problem it is it's a it's the hardest relationship is for grown people that love each other dearly to let them have boundaries and let them have their own space. This is The Ramsey Show. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual, amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host.

Thank you for joining us, America. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author many times over, and co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour show with our own George Camel all on the Ramsey Networks. She's my co-host. Oh, and my daughter today. Political correspondent this week as well. So if you need any politics. I love politics. She's our internal update on this and she has way too much fun. No, I just love watching the conventions. I love all of it. So I'll be watching now. I'll be watching the Democrat in August. I'm watching all of it. All of it.

Every speech, everything. I love it so much. I do. I love it. But in the meantime, we're going to harness all of that energy to help you folks right here. Susan's with us in New Orleans. Hi, Susan. How are you?

Hi, I'm well. Thank you so much good how can i help well i'm i'm learning how to navigate my finances alone for the first time in 30 years and i am i hope that i'm not confused but i have a 750 000 variable life insurance policy that I've had for about 20 years. It's something I carried after one of my employees, after leaving one of my employers. And I've recently looked into this to try to understand more. And it has about a $1,500 cash value. After years of paying hundreds of dollars a month in life insurance and that's premium wow you said recently alone are you widowed or divorced uh i'm divorced okay after

how many years of marriage 30 yes sir wow i'm sorry that's a heartbreak. And who's this policy with? Which company? It's Metropolitan. Yeah. Okay. All right. Typically, what a variable universal life policy applies to is, obviously, it's a type of cash value policy that you pay extra for beyond what you would pay for term. And the extra goes into an investment. And with variable, it generally is mutual funds that you select the mutual funds, or they select them for you with a rubber stamp situation, and you don't even realize you did it. But basically it's going into that. Then they take all of their fees out,

and so you don't get anywhere near the return that you would have gotten. Nationally, the typical variable is about a 4.7% rate of return on an investment that, not counting fees, should be yielding north of 10. So it's an absolutely bad product, but it's hard to fathom that you paid 20 years and only got $1,500 out of it. That's hard to believe. That's what it shows me, and it's one of those things where I never really Have you called them?

No, that's on my list, but I just wanted to really start to understand more about the policy so that I had some information. It's possible that it is a dumbed-down product that was sold as an HR benefit through a benefits company. And by dumbed down, I mean that they didn't charge you enough over what the actual life insurance was for there to be any going into savings hardly. Okay. And so I don't know what you've been paying, but the policy is $750,000, so it's less than a million dollar policy how old

are you today i'll be 65 in september so you bought it when you were 45 and um was it guaranteed issue meaning did they make you to go through a medical uh no it was one of the things one of the benefits that i signed up for when i went with that employer. Right, but they did not have any medical check. Like if you bought a million-dollar policy, they're going to check medical usually. Yeah, no, sir, not any of that. So guaranteed issue is what that's called, and that is a standard in the benefits world. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's a more expensive type of insurance because they're taking more risk because they're not checking people's medicals.

Does that make sense? Okay. And so you're probably paying a lot more of what you were paying, a lot more of it was going towards insurance versus if you had just bought a regular variable universal from them out in the open market and done a medical. So that's part of where you got ripped off probably. And my other guess is that if I knew the premium amount, it probably wasn't enough to have

a lot spilling over into cash value. So it's very possible that what you've learned is true, I'm sad to say. Now, the good news is you can stop doing it. You have a hole in your pocket. You don't keep putting money in it and then we need to ascertain even if you need life insurance at 66 years old or 65 years old right so do you have assets I do and I I own all of I don't have any debt except for my the mortgage on my house and and then I have a fixed retire I will I have two fixed retirements one from

my military service one from my current employer is there any uh children that came on late in the game that are still dependent upon you no sir okay so financially speaking not emotionally or relationally but financially speaking no one's counting on you. So if you didn't leave life insurance from a dependent standpoint, the family's not going to be damaged. No, I would like to have life insurance that would cover any mortgage amount I would have so my children wouldn't assume that. They don't assume it. The house will cover it. Okay. Yeah.

You don't need to leave your house mortgage-free by buying this policy. And buying another policy at your age or my age is not usually a good mathematical plan. So how much money do you have in your nest egg? I have about nine months' worth of expenses. You have a retirement nest egg of any kind? Well, the 401k I had during my marriage, and I did not leave my marriage with that. Okay, so he got that. And so you don't have a, quote, pile of money in a retirement account somewhere? No, I don't.

Okay. You're living off the pensions, and that leaves you just fine? Correct, yes. Yeah, okay. Are you still working, Susan? I am. Okay. What do you make?

And I'd like to keep working. I love what I do. So I'm not in a rush to retire. Good. What do you make? About $100,000 a year is my salary. Good. Good for you.

Okay. And what's the balance on the mortgage? $218,000. $218,000 a year is my salary. Good. Good for you. Okay. And what's the balance on the mortgage? $218,000. And what is the house worth? $325,000. Okay. $325,000 to $350,000, I guess. Okay.

So if you were to pass away tomorrow without life insurance, the kids would sell the house. There would be $100,000 on the table. They would pay for a funeral, and the smoke would clear, and kids would sell the house, there would be $100,000 on the table, they would pay for a funeral, and the smoke would clear and they would all get a little bit, correct? Correct, yes, sir. Okay. I'm not buying this life insurance policy another day then. And I agree with you.

That was my first reaction. But then I'm thinking, I mean, and the premiums have gone up every year. Yeah, they do um it's fih yeah but these are the hundreds of dollars a month for years that i have been paying and that doesn't make it doesn't mean you want to keep doing it no but i just made the bad decision with that investment yeah yeah i think you probably did uh but it's as they say water under the bridge i would call them too susan i want to call them and make sure I understand it. In ideal, they left off a zero or something.

I don't know. Maybe there is more in there. It was a typo. It's possible, but I think with it being a guaranteed issue and I think with it being a benefit, they lowered the price on it so low that they weren't, they didn't put enough in there to cover the insurance. Yeah, but it was just so expensive just for the insurance side.

I know because she didn't do medical, but man. That's because variable life insurance is a complete ripoff. It's the payday lender of the middle class. But, you know, she's, and here she is 20 years later paying into it. I'm so sorry. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. Open phones at 888-825-5225. If you invest $100 a month from age 25 to age 65 in a decent growth stock mutual fund,

it will be $1,176,000. So you should be taught this in the sixth grade so that you start investing in your 20s because it doesn't take a lot to become wealthy. Our last caller put hundreds of dollars a month for 20 years into a rip-off life insurance policy. My point is if she had put that money in a fruit jar and just stacked it in the cellar,

she would have a whole lot more than she has in that policy, like tens of thousands of dollars. I mean, she's putting in, uh what let's say hundreds a month let's say 200 a month okay that's 2400 a year in uh and so in 10 years that's 20 000 25 000 in uh in 20 years that's 50 000 would be stacked in her cellar if If they have $1,500 as her cash value, what that tells you is they screwed her. That's what that tells you, okay? She not only didn't get a rate of return, she got a negative rate of return. They stole from her savings to pay for high-priced life insurance. That's exactly what that product does, by the way.

If, however, she had not put it in the seller and it wasn't $50,000 and she had instead put it in her 401k, which she lost in her divorce, or negotiated away in the divorce or whatever happened there, or she put it in just mutual funds, hundreds of dollars a month for 20 years

it would have been several million dollars and so that's how bad these cash value life insurance products are it's not just a little bit wrong it's millions of dollars wrong over 20 years millions with an s lots of millions that's just bizarre to think about and if you wonder how the uh as a buddy of mine used to say all the time there's uh two main towers in the skylines banks and life insurance companies and in the old days particularly that was true in the skyline of the average city when you drive in there's two towers two sets of towers banks and life insurance companies and who you think built those well it wasn't built by santa claus you built it with your money getting screwed by those people

in both cases. Yeah. So instead of 200 going to an insurance policy, she could have paid $30, $40 for a term life. And then you would have had 150 to invest, right? Like that's the problem is the difference in what you pay. For a million dollars a term, you could buy that easy at 45 years old. And so you buy inexpensive term insurance for the time that you actually do need

life insurance half the time she kept this policy she didn't need it she kept it because it was an investment yeah in air quotes an investment larry is with us larry is in kansas city hi larry how are you doing better than i deserve cool how can i can I help? So a little backstory. I come from Seattle and I ran a company there for 10 years. Basically, we got it from $2 million to about $17 million when I left. And now I live in Missouri, close to Kansas City. And I came across this business here that the couple that owns it, they're elderly and they're willing to sell it. I guess I just kind of came across. I was buying blades for my mower and this place, they sell mowers, zero-turn mowers,

and they're number one in three states, I believe, here. So I don't know how much they want for the business or anything, but I've never had experience buying a business, and it's a small family business. What was the business you were running before from 2 to 17? I was a steel flashing business and also created a store within the production. You were the CEO? I was just the general manager there. Oh, okay. So you had other leadership team that helped you do that, not just by yourself?

Yeah, the owners and then there was me ah gotcha okay yeah but the owners were pretty absent they just invested into new machinery pretty much and that's it yeah okay all right and so you're thinking about buying a lawnmower business just because you're just because you stumbled into it? Sort of, yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, we advise and coach about 10,000 small businesses under Entree Leadership brand across America. I do a podcast every week called Entree Leadership

where we talk to small businesses. And I will tell you, running a small business is too tough to do something that you just stumbled into. You better really care deeply about it because it's going to take a part of your soul. Yeah, they've been here for 50 years already. I know. I'm talking about you.

I'm talking about them. Yeah, yeah. They love it. You stumbled into it. You need to love it to do it, number one. So you need to search that part of your heart. Don't just buy a small business because the numbers work that'll make that makes for a long day and a lot of stress no fun at all

okay it's just too tough there's too much too much rough and tumble too many splinters too many black eyes too many problems uh you better love it so you better love something about machinery you better love something about the people that buy that kind of machinery the people you're serving guys and gals that run lawn care businesses uh the guy who just desperately needs a zero-turn mower for no apparent reason all of these people you better care deeply about them now then i'm going to find out you know a solid pnl then a profit and loss statement and the value of the business has nothing to do with the gross revenue it has everything to do with the net profit yeah after everything is paid what is the real profit and that should match the last several

years of tax returns and i want to see both of those before we even talk about anything. Okay. And then let's pretend you said they're in several states. It sounds like it's maybe a $10 million plus top line, is it? Well, he mentioned that they sell about 300 mowers a year. Oh, probably not. Plus they have a service. Yeah, probably not. Yeah.

It's probably not 10 million. Plus they have a service yeah probably yeah yeah it's probably not 10 million 300 300 molars yeah yeah that's a few million dollars okay um no i was wrong okay it's gonna it's not gonna be 10 million so let's pretend the thing after everybody has been paid managers and everyone as if you were an absentee owner, is bringing in $100,000 net, net, net profit after all the smoke is cleared. It's worth a maximum of four times that. Okay. 25% rate of return on your money.

So if it brings in $100,000, it's worth $400,000 max. And I don't care what the inventory is worth. They can sell off the inventory and get more than they should sell off the inventory. Because the inventory has only got a value to the extent you can turn it over and turn it into profit. Oh, well, we've got a 50-year name. Name's not worth anything except to the extent it brings in profit. Business is not a hobby. Business makes money.

And money is how you measure the value of a business, period. Not people's feelings. And people like you're talking value of a business period not people's feelings and people like you're talking to have a lot of feelings and i don't want to be mean or anything but i couldn't give crap less about their feelings yeah when we put a valuation on this business it's based on the actual numbers not based on they've worked really hard or based on their very sweet people or based on their service to the community i'm great all to the extent you make a profit otherwise you have a hobby or let's relabel the thing non-profit on purpose instead of accidentally okay so that's how you get into this and lay it out and you got you got some

digging to do before you figure out if you really want to do this or not and i'll go back to my first point larry you better love mowers and people that buy mowers because it's going to take a whole lot of your life if you buy this business it's what you got to do man you got to lay into it you know that from your experience before you got to lay into it this is the ramsey show if you want to win winning is an intentional act. As a matter of fact, it's a series of intentional acts that causes this thing we call success. No one accidentally wins the Super Bowl. They practice, they work, they plan, they strategize, they lean in, they focus exclusively on their task. No one accidentally stays married 40 years. No one accidentally raises good kids. No one accidentally is successful with their career. No one accidentally builds wealth.

It's not random. It's a series of intentional acts. One of the intentional acts is planning and making every dollar behave. Every dollar needs an assignment. If you don't make your money behave, you will always be broke and wonder where it went. You have to make your money behave. You have to be a lion tamer with a whip and a chair. And that's what a budget is. You're making the money behave. Every dollar gets an assignment.

That's why we named the world's best budgeting app that we built. The tens of millions of people use every day. We named it EveryDollar because every dollar needs an assignment. When every dollar is aimed at winning, you will win. It's that simple. When you want to work the baby steps, we'll show you how. When you want to work together in unity with your spouse, we can help you do that. Every dollar, the budgeting app will do every bit of that. It'll keep the pulse on your spending, make progress on your money goals. That's why it's the world's best. You can download EveryDollar for free in the App Store or on Google Play

or at EveryDollar.com. Winning is an intentional act. Heather is with us in Nashville. Hi, Heather. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hi, Rachel. Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? My husband and I are on baby steps four, five, and six. And we want to be intentional about how we plan our finances for our family. With a recent change two years ago, my husband's mother passed away from ALS and we learned that it was familial ALS. Normally, no one knows why anyone has it. 90% of chances are or cases are unknown, but 10% are actually familial with a genetic marker. So we learned that she died of familial ALS, and there is, at this point, a 50-50 chance that my husband will have it.

Did her parents have it? There's no way to know. Her father had it, and she has a sister that also died from it. Wow. Oh, Heather, I'm so sorry. Thank you. Is there testing to see if he has the gene? Are you able to find that out?

He's got the marker. You said he's got the marker. Well, there is a test available. I mean, you get half of your genes from one parent and half from another, so that's where we know there's a 50-50 chance. And there is a test to identify one of the 20 most common. Oh, so there's not a singular marker. Correct.

It's not a singular marker, but she wasn't able to be tested before she got it happened so quickly. If they don't know what the markers are, I'm just curious. I'm not questioning. It's not passive-aggressive. I'm just truly curious. If they don't know what the markers are, how do they know it's familial? Well, they actually identify it as familial because of the family history.

Just the history, just the pattern. The pattern. But there's not any actual medical. It's just a highly statistically unlikely pattern. Yeah, okay. Precisely. That makes sense. But it's been my husband's decision.

How old is your husband? He's 40. Wow, okay. And I'm 38. So you guys are checking those markers just to... Yeah, will y'all run that test to see out of the 20 genes? For peace of mind or whatever? It's interesting you ask that.

My husband has decided that he doesn't want to do it because he just wants to live every day to its fullest and not plan for a death, but we want to be financially stable and make the right decisions for our family so just looking for some advice wow so i'm sorry for the reason for your question but it's a great question um the um the answer is do the exact same things we teach everyone but it's going to be with much more um seriousness and attention to detail for instance you know if you've been listening heather that we tell everyone to have

a will and everyone to have a detailed explanation of the will to everyone involved in the will okay okay and so uh if his brother thinks he's going to get something and he's not you need to tell him now okay that kind of stuff is what i'm talking about uh my guess is in the situation you're saying he's going to leave everything to his children and his wife or to his wife to take care of his children right yes and we have very young children um a six-year-old and a six month old and we didn't make the decision lightly to have a second child when we knew that there was that potential did he have life insurance in place yes um and we both have uh like 750k in life insurance term life with about 18 years left okay that's good news okay good good well we're not dropping that um for sure and we're going to

have a detailed will and uh you know he needs to um what is the name of that book oh there's a book a thousand years ago i endorsed this book letters uh letters from dad i think it's called google oh you don't have your computer open i got my phone though uh you got your phone whip it trusty phone out see if letters from dad's not a thing um and i actually did this uh for about three years and then i dropped it because i was lazy but uh the guy uh oh yeah greg vaughn greg vaughn yeah that's it green cover yeah that's it okay it was 25 years ago um you were a little kid and so it's writing letters to your kids and they he sold he sold like a wooden box and you could each kid had a box and write letters to your spouse and so these would be treasured

items later in your life was the idea it's a legacy piece makes you cry when you read the whole book okay and it made me made me go do it for a while i did it for two or three years there's a wooden box somewhere in rachel's life i have no idea where it is but um it's got four letters in it or something but when she was five but um i made a run at it so but that kind of stuff you know and videos um or occasionally just throw them in a in a drop box or in a file somewhere you keep them i would just be cognizant about legacy things with the kiddos does that make sense sure probably more serious than the average bear and then uh uh but make sure your will your life insurance your uh details of the estate plan are in place so that

if you ever get a diagnosis you don't even have to think about that it's already done okay we're not rushing around and trying to do it in a period of months or whatever before we have to before we he loses the ability to do it or something like that right go ahead and do that kind of stuff it's a healthy exercise for everyone listening by the way i have a very detailed estate plan that i did not drop the ball on and it's how one of the ways you say i love you to your family is you you take the stress of how they're going to make it and what they're going to do and what they're going to do with this and that and who's going to fight over what all that stress is gone because it's all handled while you're alive and uh in detail and the more of that you have the more peace you have on this issue and then he can do he can do what he's decided to do and go about his life and live and heather the

the medical side um did insurance cover it for his family that has gone through this how does that how did that play out i'm just wondering for medical bills on your behalf did not have insurance okay and it actually happened very quickly within two months of diagnosis she had passed oh my gosh we had missed some of the initial signs and warning signs so we know what to look for at this point but there is an average life expectancy between two and five years. Yeah. I've lost two friends to it, and both of those were over two years. So from a medical bills side, right, does insurance, do you have you guys like look through, do you have adequate insurance that if this did come that most of it would be covered?

We do have adequate insurance. I'm not sure to what capacity because you know you never know the longer you're alive obviously the more expensive it is right yeah the more i know about that kind of thing the more i build my emergency fund up the more peace i have i would probably have just some more cash just yeah okay yeah there's really nothing our assets are there's no big change to real estate yeah no big change to what you're doing. Just lay out a detailed plan, and everybody knows the plan, which you should be doing anyway.

And, you know, make sure your insurance is there. Whatever's not there, make sure you've got cash to cover. And then I'm with him. Go about living your life. I like that. That's pretty cool. This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, 1 John 5, 14. This is the confidence we have in approaching God,

that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. Henry Ford said, if I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. Oh. I like it. Helen is with us in Virginia Beach. Hey, Helen, what's up? Hey there.

Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So my husband and I are looking into buying a house probably in the next four years. And we're starting to budget out for a down payment. And I'm a longtime listener. And I've heard you all talk on the show before about building your deck. And I was wondering if you guys could go into a little bit more detail about that as far as, you know, your down payment plus your closing costs and your inspection and all of

that. And if you could give us kind of an estimate on how much we should be planning to set aside in addition to a down payment. Okay. Well, I mean, you're going to have a few things that you pay for in the closing costs and a good real estate agent can lay out what is normal and customary in your area. One thing you'll want to buy if the seller does not provide it and you don't negotiate it from the seller is a title insurance policy. Typically if you're getting a mortgage the mortgage company is going to make you buy one for them and you can buy a simultaneous issue for just a few dollars but you need to find out what that's going to be in your situation i assume you'll be getting a mortgage uh more than likely

okay title insurance ensures the that the title is clear that there are no clouds on the title never buy a piece of real estate without title insurance. I've bought thousands of pieces of real estate. I've never bought one without title insurance. Okay, and I've actually had a few claims, and I'm really glad I had it. Because sometimes people screw the title up and do it improperly, and then you've got a mess on your hands that's tens of thousands of dollars. Doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's a mess. So title insurance is one thing.

Again, if you're getting it with your mortgage company, it's required because they want to have policy covering them. You can get a simultaneous issue for a few hundred bucks that covers you as well. So that's one thing. The second thing is you're going to have prepaids, they're called. And you're aware in most house payments today, you have a house payment that is principal and interest to the bank, and they also collect approximately a twelfth of taxes annually and a twelfth of insurance annually so that they can build up the escrow account with those two things in it to pay the taxes out of that and pay the homeowner's insurance out of that to ensure that the taxes are paid and the insurance is paid.

That's why they do that. And to set that up will usually be three or four months of each of those. So whatever your property tax is, Bill, is four months of that. And whatever your homeowner's insurance is, four months of that to set up your prepaids, they're called. It's prepaying and setting up that escrow account to be able to do principal interest, taxes, and insurance, PITI, as you go along. Typically, there'll be a survey fee. Usually, that's not super expensive if it's in a neighborhood, 75 to 200 bucks.

Typically, there's an appraisal, usually 500 to $1,000, somewhere in there depending on your area um and so you're going to these miscellaneous things that fall into the heading of closing costs and uh they're depending on your area and what your tax rates are and all those kinds of things you're probably looking at about three percent okay awesome but again what i would do since you're such a planner and you're doing this well well in advance get in touch with one Okay, awesome. there's those things dave was talking about line item down through there and um then you're going to be able to say okay on that house a three hundred thousand dollar house it was uh three thousand dollars oh okay so it's one percent oh so now it's six thousand okay it's two percent right

uh that kind of stuff that's what you'll be able to figure out and it'd be fun for you as a first time home buyer to see all the items that make up this vague category of closing costs because they all actually do make sense. They're not rip-offs. They're all things that you do need. You do need a survey. You do need an appraisal. You do need title insurance. You do need to set up your escrow account. All those things are fine. There's nothing wrong with them. But when you add them all up, you kind of get a sticker shock moment. You go, they're ripping me off of these closing costs. And no, not really. You just got to know what they are. And so dig in there and figure out what they are. And that'll help you get a good solid estimate because it does change

from area to area. And a lot of it is based on the cost of insurance and the cost of taxes in your area. That'll throw this number a bit. Are you going to pay any points up front, which I wouldn't recommend? But are you paying an origination fee, which typically you are going to pay, which is a point or a half a point or something like that, to get into the loan? All of that's going to be figured in there. And, again, a good real estate agent can help you map all that out. And also, Rachel, we've got a great website on our stuff at RamseySolutions.com slash real estate that goes into a whole bunch of that stuff.

It's an information hub. Yes. And there's just so many details. I mean, as you were even just talking, I was like, oh, my gosh, it's just so much. And that we have so many, so many blogs, articles, points of contact for people in your area to go and to get, yeah, to get this all. Because sometimes I feel like you, it takes a little bit to actually learn it. So go to ramseystolutions.com slash real estate and go and read, research. And again, you can find Ramsey Trusted Pros there on that website too,

if you want to call, just like you mentioned, to reach out to somebody. Yeah, and just, it's okay to nerd out on it. One of the things when you're doing something the first time is it's always scary because of the unknown yep and so the more you know the less fear there is and so just dig in get get sample closing statements on a property either the size you're talking about looking at and then you can back into it and tell every every bit of that all right allison is with us in New Jersey. Hi, Allison, how are you? Hi, Dave. It's such an honor to speak with you and Rachel.

I follow you on Instagram, and I just have to say I love your post about all your Walmart finds and all your books and everything. Thanks, Allison. Appreciate that. How can we help? Thanks, Allison. You're welcome. Appreciate that. Cool. How can we help? So I'm in a really difficult situation right now, and I don't know what to do. So I'm getting a little emotional. So I'm in my early 40s. I've been in a long-term relationship, and my boyfriend is not sure if he wants a baby.

And I want a baby, and I'm running out of time. And my question is, I don't know if I should take out loans to be able to even just start the process and afford, like, egg retrievals or if I should get a second job. I just feel like honestly kind of like trapped and I'm not sure what to do. Wow. I'm so sorry. That's a harsh situation. I am. Well, how much, I mean, Allison, no. There's two things.

Go ahead. Well, women that are, yes, that are at your point and they freeze their eggs, you know, they kind of go through a process to say, you know, can I, you know, freeze time for a little bit while it kind of buys you time? Have you, how much is all of that? Have you looked into all that cost-wise? I have. I've met with the fertility clinic and it will be about, well, they think that I'll

need multiple rounds just because of my age. Um, I did have an initial screening and, um, it looked like I had some empty follicles. Um, uh, they did a retrieval actually, and it wasn't successful, but all my numbers went up. And so it looks anyway, things are looking better looking better like physically but it's really expensive so it would be like probably like for three or four rounds which the doctor thinks only that will be about like seventy thousand dollars um just for egg retrieval um well for i mean a single a single round of ivf is around $7,500. Well, I guess that means for everything.

If I end up, you know, having to use a sperm donor. This is an emotional and a very important topic because nothing's more important to me than babies. I love babies. And so I want you to do this, but I want you to do it in a wise way, not a way that because 70 000 is not the number get a second opinion and i would get you need to get six more opinions yeah you need to go shopping on this kiddo because i think you can do a simple egg retrieval i'm not a doc i'm not throwing out a number i have no clue what that is but i mean we've done we've talked about ivf on here many many times at 7500 12500 and 12,500 in there, not 70 grand. And that's the full freaking procedure. So you need to get the, that's, that number's not right. I want you to

check and then you got to decide about your relationship issues and how you're going to go forward with all that too. That's a whole nother bucket. That puts us out of the Ramsey show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, folks, Dave here. You want to hear even more life-changing content from Ramsey? Download the Ramsey Network app so you can catch all your favorite shows all in one place

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