The Ramsey Show - You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Delaney, PhD in counseling, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, he's my co-host today open phones at triple 8 8 2 5 5 2 2 5 Stacey's in Cape Town South Africa hi Stacey what's up hi how are you guys better than we deserve wonderful food scene there y'all got some nice restaurants kiddo. All right are you guys hanging in tight for my story? We're ready bring it. Okay so my question is how do my husband and I navigate the very strange relationship we now have with his family after multiple instances of

disloyalty and dishonesty. So my father-in-law needs to repay a loan of a hundred thousand dollars to us and hasn't done it yet. It's been two years now. And four months ago, the in-laws and my husband wanted to start a new business. They actually own a family business. And that was around the time when we moved into our new home. They saw the house and a couple of days later off, my husband to put our house up as their loan guarantee for their new business.

As it was worth around $2 million and Oh, my husband wouldn't be the business owner, but just an employee. So since then the relationship, my husband went He was so angry. He said not only no, but now pay us back a hundred thousand dollars straight away And now he's just keep distancing himself From them which I totally understand, but how do we navigate this situation? How do we get the hundred thousand dollars back? I I have no idea

When the what is there any documentation or legal contracts on the hundred thousand dollars or was this a handshake? When we did the bank transfer we, it literally showed up as loan to XYZ. That doesn't matter. I mean they didn't sign a note, they didn't sign a contract with you to repay uh... no it was just terrible so it's a handshake and you wired him the money okay uh... and was there any uh... discussion at the time as to what the repayment terms would be

uh... yes at the time they said that as soon as they sell their house, because they had a second green house that they didn't use, as soon as they sell their house, they're going to pay us back. And then they did sell their house. Then they did sell their house. No, no they didn't, but they've had multiple offers,

they just keep turning them down. Okay but much they're asking price okay yeah um well you got yourself on a pickle didn't you yeah I know I know and now my husband is feeling a bit guilty and he keeps asking me if he's a good person because he told his dad now to repay everything back and now the mom is involved. Yes, he's a good person. His dad is not. Yeah, well the mom's getting involved in telling everybody that we are money minded and we are keeping our kids away from them. I don't care what they told you. What they told you. What they tell people. What they tell people doesn't matter. They don't really get a vote

because they're the people that don't pay bills and propose absurd business things. They don't get a vote anymore. They lost their vote. What they tell people or what they think is irrelevant. Agreed? Yes.

Other than it hurts your husband's feelings, but I mean, that his dad's being a twerp to him. But yeah, John. Are y'all of mean, Stacey? You live in a two million dollar house. I'm assuming y'all have money? Yes. Yes. This is easy for me to say on this side of the ocean, but you're probably not gonna get that money back. And just your husband making laps around the living room every night, existentially wondering if he's a good person, is he costing his relationship with his dad, is Yadia... I don't know.

Yes, that's exactly what's happening. I can imagine they're... here's the deal. Your father-in-law needs to pay back the money. He's probably not going to. He probably can't. And y'all now, Dave and I have been talking about this forever, Dave for three decades before Ivan showed up. When you loan a family member money, you change the nature of your relationship together.

Now you are invested in them accepting an offer on their house, right? That's a transaction that should be between them and any potential seller and what they wanna do and whether they wanna keep two houses or not. But now you're invested in it and you are now judging from afar their interactions, but it's because y'all loaned them money.

Right, so now the whole thing's a mess. their interactions, but it's because y'all loaned them money. Yeah. Right? So now the whole thing's a mess. I can see a world where your husband sits down with his dad and says, Dad, I got mad, I blew my top. What's reasonable for repayment? And there's also a thing where he says, dude, this is a gift. I'm writing it off. I'm moving on with my life.

What's your your net worth? I think about 11 million. Okay. So one possibility is take a deep breath, call dad and say, dad I shouldn't have loaned you this money without any documentation I made a huge mistake it's costing us our relationship I'm not going to do any business with you because I can't really trust you on transactions but we still do want to have dinner with you we still want to interact with you and we're gonna forgive this loan forget it don't worry about it your life won't change one instant if you do that except you'll be free right now you guys spend our burning ten million dollars worth of

calories over a hundred grand you could let it go for your sake you could that's one possibility the second possibility is almost do that but just let it go for your sake. You could, that's one possibility. The second possibility is almost do that, but just let it go, but don't say anything. And just forget it, walk away. And then if they do pay you, let that be just like a pleasant surprise. But don't even have a conversation with them about it,

just forget it and just walk away but you guys are it's destroying y'all it's you know they're sitting over there smiling you're sitting over here freaked out but again and if I'm in your shoes I'm also gonna own my part of this and the only part of this I really would call you two out on is you should never have done this transaction and if you were going to do the transaction You should have had a lot more business minded about it Handshake on a hundred grand is ridiculous

Yeah, and so you asked for it. So when I do something stupid and it cost me money, I call it stupid tax So I think you paid a hundred grand in stupid tax It's just a matter of when and when you want to pay it whether you want to Tell them today or whether you want to just forget it and say I'm gonna pretend like this never happened I'm not even gonna bring it up in my mind again. We're not gonna bring it up in our marriage again We're not gonna ever do business with these people in any Scenario, but we can be kind to them. They're blood family. I like option one. I like the, there's something about owning it

and calling dad and mom and saying, I shouldn't have done this, I did it. And y'all are free from it. And we'll be over for dinner on Sunday. Yeah. Move on with my life. And for you regular people, it would be like if you loaned them a hundred bucks.

A thousand bucks, right. Right, right. Or a thousand bucks. You people that don't have 11 million dollars. So just kind of you get this all it's all about ratios here okay don't loan family members money give it to them or say no thank you yeah period no exceptions that's the rule give it to them this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, it's that time of year, it's starting to get a little bit colder, it's getting a

little bit dark earlier, and sometimes if you're like me, you just want to stay inside and get cozy. And for me, my perfect cozy night is me and all of my family piled under blankets, watching a movie, sitting by the fire, maybe even reading a book. Listen, whatever your perfect night in looks like, sometimes therapy can feel a bit like that. A time when you can settle in, finally exhale, replenish your energy, and begin to take care of yourself.

Therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort during the chaos and rush of the holiday season or any other time of year. Taking the time to pause and be mindful is one of the reasons I recommend BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy with licensed therapists. You can talk with your therapist just about anytime and just about anywhere so it's convenient for your schedule. Just fill out a short online survey to get matched with a therapist and you can switch therapists for no extra cost. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Deloney to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Deloney. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personalities, my co-host today. Brenda's in Las Vegas. Hi,

Brenda. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello.host today Brenda's in Las Vegas hi Brenda welcome to the Ramsey show hello hi what's up my husband and I are well my parents are moving from their home in Florida they're going to be selling their home there and moving to where we live which is in Las Vegas and that is a big difference economically. It's a much more expensive city to live in than where they are really. Talking with my parents, we just, they just wanna make a wise decision

on what they need to do with moving here. So there, we've been talking through, would it be better for them to rent a house at their age, they're 80 and 78, would it be better for them to purchase a home in this economy? and my husband and I've also talked about the possibility of us purchasing a home and then just renting it to my parents no but we want to make a wise choice and so we just I thought I would just call you and see what you think yeah I'll pass on the rent to my parents option. Um, so they're gonna sell their property there and it's worth what?

Probably get half a million and they can't buy anything in Las Vegas for half a million. Come on They can but I don't think it's not whether they can afford it or not. They know they can afford it I think they just want to make sure that long term at their age can afford it. I think they just want to make sure that long term at their age, would that be still a good choice? I, I figure. I would buy a nice condo that I didn't have to do any maintenance on in an area that demographically, you know, I'm not moving into a neighborhood of a bunch of 20 year olds if I'm 80. No, there's a 55 plus community near us. Yeah, exactly.

And those, those properties properties if when these two pass away someday that you can market that property with that ain't trouble you're not gonna be stuck in it it's not a weird property. Right no it would be a good property so buying purchasing. Yeah pay cash for half a million or less that's what they're moving the other property out for right? Yes. They may live for another 20 years and so you got 20 years of rent going up and I want to be in my 70s and 80s with my biggest asset set. Your biggest expense in every budget is housing and when it goes up every year you've destabilized your environment. Let's take it off the

table. Yeah so let's stabilize the environment. Zero payments and now we've got a sustainable situation with peace for them and they're near you. And by the way the difference and where are they moving from in Florida? It's a very rural community in the Panhandle near Yeah, okay. Near Panama City. Yeah, alright. But the difference in cost of living there and the cost of living in Las Vegas is very little except real estate. Real estate is way different.

I'll go along with that. But a gallon of gas is about the same. A loaf of bread is about the same. A loaf of bread is about the same. It's not like double in Vegas where it is the Panhandle in Florida. I mean it might be ten cents more a gallon or something like that. It's ten cents more a gallon in my neighborhood than it is one county over because they can get away with it in my neighborhood. But you know that you're going to get some of that kind of stuff. But by and large, cost of living, when you say that, real electricity, not substantially different.

Property taxes, maybe higher, yeah, might have that. But real estate related things, that's where you see most, that drives most cost of living indexes into a spiral. If you take real estate out of cost living indexes you don't find huge differences in a household budget from city to city. You find some difference but not huge differences. So then that changes the conversation too when you reframe it that way. And Dave tell me if my matrix is wrong here. I've

got you've got Brenda whose parents are in their 70s. So let's always want to pretend they might live to 90. OK, yeah. That's five more presidential elections from now to think we could predict what the world will look like in 20 years. It feels better for me to say, I don't know. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to solve for peace in the present. And that looks like no house payment. Yep. That feels like a wiser choice than trying to speculate on was this gonna be a good investment? What's gonna happen in 20 years and you know?

Knows so here's the thing. I mean, that's a really good point to pan back and keep perspective because in 2008 when the real estate market Vegas was one of the it was the fastest growing city in America at that point and they got crushed and they got the Hardest hit on the bubble. They had the most that most value loss of any city Hmm in America now it rebounded very quickly I was gonna say and if you'd walk in with with with a hundred million dollars of cash and just started buying places you would Be worth an unfathomable bottom line trillion. Yeah. You'd be worth 10x. And so it just does like, so who knows? Yeah, but you and who would have predicted 2008 because

Vegas was a boom town. If you'd have done this deal in 2007, 2006 you wouldn't have, you know, you're exactly right. Who knows? Because it's odd that that, but it did. It went in half. You could buy real estate everywhere. Wow. And then it bounded right back. Thank God. It's odd that that, but it did. It went in half. You could buy real estate everywhere. And then it bounded right back. Thank God, it's a wonderful city. And the last time I was there, they were building like crazy. Economically, it's a wonderful city again. But that just tells you 2008's not that long ago.

We're in only 15 years. So that, you know, it's not, that's a good point. And that, gosh, if you'd have done this deal back then and they were 20 years later 30 years later 30 years 20 years a long time or maybe tell me this is a bad way to look at it because I don't look at things like real estate investment but let's say things let's pretend it went in half again in 20 years and mom passes away dad passes away they live 20 more years great times with grandkids,

and you have to sell that place. You're still walking away with a check for three or four hundred thousand dollars. And you've lost, let's pretend it cuts in half, which it won't. From today. From today. Wow, that would be unprecedented. But I mean, you still walk away with a chunk of money, right? You're still okay, is what I'm saying. Yeah. And so I guess this long-term stuff, like, I don't know. I guess there's- If you pan back, you make better decisions. Yeah, just solve for peace right now. Yeah, solve for peace long-term too, make better decisions.

I was doing a podcast this morning with a friend of mine that's just started a new one that's famous. It'll be out later. And I said, the stuff we teach, these biblical financial principles, they're the only financial principles that work in good times and bad times. Yeah.

So if we have a banner wonderful year in 2025, she's asking what 25 is gonna do. I said, you know, these are the same principles that are gonna work, but they're also the same principles that work when we're not having a banner year. That's right. So you solve for peace both times, and that gets us there.

So Martin is in Columbia, South Carolina. Hey Martin, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Yeah, hey, thank you for taking my question. Sure. What's up? I just got a quick question. I'm 34. I got no savings. I got a baby on the way in May. Yay! And my credit score is in the crapper and I don't know where to begin to rebuild. Awesome. You're in a great place. So the baby was like a wake up call Martin time to get real, right? Yeah, that's what the wake up call was. And I'm $27,000 in debt. Yeah, what do you make? Which may not seem... What do you make?

Costs two grand a month, maybe a little bit more, depending on how much it works. What do you do for a living? I take care of animals. You don't make much money. And I've also, I don't, but I also have options of buying the business if I work hard enough. Why would I want this business? It doesn't make any money. That's, well that's true. So I'm also thinking about getting into trade work too. So of what kind?

Plumbing. Yeah, well that would triple your income. But it's going to be seven years before you make any money I'll be triples income as an intern compared to what he's making now so it's hoping like maybe you guys might have some guidance okay so how old are you I'm 34 how long you been married not too long. What's that mean? Yesterday? Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. We're not married yet. Okay. We're not married yet. We're okay. That's what I thought it meant. Really not long. Like really not long at all.

Gonna be this weekend. Dave, Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho. Here we go. All right. Yeah. We're living together in a camper to save money. I bet.

Uh, okay. So things are really tight right now. Yeah. So you got to go to job two jobs right now. Yeah you need to go and get your income up substantially sir. Get your little family married and get them into a little one bedroom apartment. You don't raise mama and the baby in a camper honey. Time to time to time to man up now time to quit playing around. Y'all were playing around going camping. Now you got a deal. Now you got a deal. So it's time to step up. You can do it. Hang on, we'll help you. We'll put you through financial peace university to help you get your money together. But dude, you got to get your income up now. Now. This

is the Ramsey Show. A Berna is effective self-defense when you need it. It also helps protect your assets from lawsuits if you have no choice but to use force, because a Berna pistol immobilizes attackers without fatal harm. I have several Berna pistols and I love them. In fact, I had a Berna before they started advertising with us. They're easy to use with no recoil and no noise reduction needed. They're legal in all 50 states with no permits required. And because they're not firearms, they can be shipped right to your door and you can train with a Berna right in your backyard. Plus our listeners can get the Ramsey Berna bundle for 10% off, which includes a Berna pistol, CO2 cartridges, and ammo. And other Berna

products like safety alarms, defense sprays, and body armor are also 10% off for Ramsey fans. See why Berna has more than 15,000 5-star reviews. Just go to Berna.com slash Dave to learn more. That be y are in a dot-com slash Dave Dr. John Delaney Ramsey personality is my co-host today the best way to make your money behave Is a behavior plan for your money. It's called a budget Make your money behave tell it what to do instead of wondering where it went. The world's best way to do that is called Every Dollar, where you give every dollar an assignment every month and you agree on it with your

spouse and then you know why you have money or you know why you don't have money. that changes everything. So download every dollar for free in the App Store or Google Play and use it. You have to have a plan. No one accidentally wins. You know, it's not going to work that way. You're going to have to leave the cave, kill something, and drag it home, boys and girls.

And you do this with every dollar. You'll change everything. Hunter is in Panama City. Hi, Hunter, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you, Mr. Ramsey. Great, great to talk with you. Really appreciate you taking my question. Sure, how can we help?

Hey, so I'm 30 years old. I'm married, got three kids kids and me and my wife right now are a little over $100,000 in debt. Oh, I'm in and yeah, but So we have we bought a piece of land that's about 60 to 65 thousand dollars we still owe on that we have a car which is we have about 25 thousand dollars left on that and then I have student loans which is about 20,000 okay what you make so I make 70 to 75 thousand cool and you don't live on the land. You just bought the land.

So we still, yeah, we're still paying on the land, but you don't, you don't live on it. No sir. No, currently we're living with, um, my, uh, wife's grandparents and a one bedroom, uh, barn house. And so we're just living there. Uh, we're literally living on about a thousand dollars a month and the rest were just stocking away towards debt and trying to get completely out of debt. I downloaded this app called, yeah,

the app you guys have, the Easy Money app. So I'm literally just trying to completely get out of debt and trying to get out of it fast. I think you meant the Every Dollar app, I hope. Every Dollar app, yes sir. Okay, all right. If I got one called easy money, I'm not aware of it. Okay So so you like 70,000 and you're living on nothing and you have

$105,000 worth of debt including the land Correct. Yes. What's the land worth? land. Correct. Yes. What's the land worth? So it's already up in property value. We originally, whenever we bought it, we bought it for $75,000. It was worth, it's now worth $85,000.

Who said? In this vicinity. I'm sorry? Who said it's worth $85,000? So we had a property appraiser whenever we closed on the land. How long would you close on on it? 85,000. Oh I'm sorry not whenever we closed but whenever we signed to purchase the land. But it was appraised at 85 when you bought it? Yes sir and we bought it for 75. How

long ago did you buy it? We bought it almost a year ago. Okay, so it could be worth even more now Correct. Yes, okay. All right. I'm with you. So your question your questions what hunter? Yes, our question is should we sell the land and then just pay off all of our debt? Yes Okay, all right Yes, all right that answers my question and you're free only question you're free thinking about eventually building. Yes. All right. That answers my question. And you're free. The only question you're thinking about eventually building. Okay. Yeah. Well, I think you'll have that dream come true someday And the fact that you're living in your grandparents barn to Minium tells me you like a piece of dirt, which is cool I'm with you on that. I like dirt too. I like a little room little elbow room so to speak and

I mean I live in a part of Tennessee where gunfire on Saturdays pretty normal sound by the neighbors and so you know I like a little room and the you know you're kind of got that in your blood I can hear it not the gunfire but the elbow room. The, anyway, the, and you're in your early 20s, maybe? Yes, I just turned 30 this year. Okay, all right. What do you do for a living? So I do wedding and elopement photography. Cool, okay.

Yes, so I started that about four years ago. I can't imagine how interesting a lopement photography is, but that's a whole other subject. Okay. All right. It's pretty great. Yeah. Please tell me you keep a little journal somewhere,

just a tally mark that says, not gonna make it or gonna make it. Oh yeah. All right. I like that you are willing to sacrifice to get where you're going and you're willing to make hard decisions to get where you're going. Those two things tell me you're going to get where you're going. So I'm not worried about you getting to live your dream.

I think you're going to get there. All I'm thinking about is what's the shortest distance between two points, between where you are and owning something. So probably if I'm you I'm saving like crazy I'm gonna get us a little starter house I'm gonna make a bunch of money on it over the next four or five years and I'm gonna buy a piece of ground and build on it as my phase two in this process rather than phase sub one which you started with the ground way before you were even out of

debt on the other thing so I and the good news is the ground will get you out of debt for now and you got zero payments. You can pile cash. You could be able to stack cash all in that barn, man, just stack it in there and then go get you a nice starter house and let that thing go up in value like the land did and then sell it and build on a piece of ground someday, maybe out there five or 10 years. That would be where I am. And that's also about the time you're probably going to be a millionaire. Yeah, and there's something about putting a, sitting down with your wife and y'all put,

it's arbitrary. Let's say two years, let's put a deadline. We're going to be out of this barn in two years. Here's how much money we want to have. What must be true? How do we get that much money? Am I going to have to shoot on Sundays and Saturday nights and Wednesday mornings and I'm gonna take as many of these gigs I can get, I'm gonna stop saying no to things. What's she doing? What must be true for us to have this dollar amount to walk out of here and get that small start home in 24 months, 32 months? And sometimes when you put a deadline on it, it doesn't feel like it's forever and you

can just work yourself silly knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel. So, I got a pattern this hour. I got to stop for a second. Young ladies, you need to be very clear with your fiancés or your husbands you need to say what you are really thinking and not go along with I Live in the barn loft or the camper Because there are some young ladies that will go along with that Because they agree with the goal and they're all in and that's fine I'm not talking to you. But you young ladies who these knuckleheads

that you are married to or marrying have talked you into living in a barn loft or in a camper because they think that that's the way. You need to domesticate this wild mule-a-fant that you have married. And let them know that ladies generally don't like living under bridges. This is a bunch of crap. And so it took me a little while to realize this because I and I can and you knuckleheads I'm one of you I'm only more advanced now.

Me too. Because I don't care where I live. I'm the guy that could live in the barn loft or the camper or under the bridge for that matter. It does not bother me. I mean it doesn't really. But happy wife happy life is one of the equations and so you guys are what you are thinking that you're doing something very positive for the future of your family, meanwhile you are leaving some marks on that relationship that because you're stupid and I know this because I'm you, okay? And so again there are some times that I have talked to couples that both of them are all in and we bought a $2,000 used mobile home

and we lived in it for three years and saved up and paid cash for a home, and both of them were all in. But they had an end goal. They had an end goal, number one, and number two, they were both all in. One of them wasn't going along with it because they think that they married Sir Galahad

and they didn't, they married Goober. And so, you know, this is my wife bless your heart so I'm just just warning some of you ladies you need to speak up and you knuckleheads quit moving your lady that hasn't spoken up into these ridiculous situations to accomplish your dream this is the Ramsey show you know I love when I get to talk about this each year during the holidays. As in years past this December, Xander is donating 25% of all ID theft protection sales to Team Rubicon, an amazing veteran-led disaster relief organization

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800-356-4282. If you don't know, you can join the Ramsey show and get all three of the segments all three of the hours if you will of the show on the Ramsey Network app you can also search on the Ramsey Network app by subject and get all the different calls on a certain subject keep you from listening to 26 hours to find out about your car lease or whatever it is, right? And you can send us an email on the Ramsey Network app, which is what happened today, John. All right, today's Ramsey Network app, it's from Hope.

And personally, this hits too close to home, so I don't appreciate it, Hope, but here we go. My husband and I are in Baby Step 2 and have $12,000 more to go, we're so close! He's been fully on board with the Baby Steps until recently. He's an avid hunter and wants to go hunting this season. If he kills a deer, it costs around $200 to butcher it and between $2,000 and $1,000 to mount it. I told him we needed to decide together about hunting during Baby Step 2 and that I don't support him spending $1,000 right now. I reminded him that by next season

we'd have a lot more money and freedom to spend more freely. He says, I've sucked the fun out of hunting by asking these questions. He probably had to set down his pacifier to say that. He says hunting is his hobby and the only thing that makes him happy. Well, that's a little insulting. Gosh, that's so dramatic.

I have no problem with him hunting. I just want to plan financially before he goes. Am I wrong? Is his little face red? Was his little lip stuck out? Yeah. Like, that sound like a kid on a serial. That's a Froot Loops in his bib.

My hunting makes me happy. That's the only thing that makes me happy. All right, so. God, you're killing me. There's two problems here. Number one, you're married to me happy. All right, so. God, you're killing me. There's two problems here. Come on, man up. Number one, you're married to a toddler. Really?

That's number one. Really? Number two, hope what you have done is you have created, you've exaggerated this. I hunt all the time. I've never had somebody charge me even half of $200 to butcher a deer. Really? No. What's the cost of processing? $55 to $75. Okay. That's what it costs. And you can do it yourself. You can do it at home for $0.

And so, and then, good God, no, you don't mount. It costs a lot of Ziploc bags. A lot of Ziploc bags, that's true. $9, right? Nine bucks. Plus, no, this isn't the season to be mounting deer. And again, 200 to a thousand. If you're taking it to some fancy taxidermist, maybe. Again, this is one like, it's gonna cost a thousand. It's not. It's not. And... Well, man, he may be or she may be. I don't know. Somebody's exaggerating. Well, I think she's exaggerating a bit because she didn't want him doing this. And he is being exaggerating

with his feelings on the other side. There's more things in his life that bring him joy than hunting. And also, it's hunting season. And him going out on Saturday and shooting a deer to feed the family and to have some fun and get out in the sun is fine. But also, if you're gonna add $1,200 as a part of this,

that's insane, right? $1,000 plus 200 bucks. The melodrama around this whole thing is just out of control. So it's getting all the way beneath all this stuff. I don't know who's melodramatic, whether it's one of you or both of you. I think both, I think both.

And so no, having a plan financially before he goes, is that wrong? No. I mean, what's 30 out of six cost around now? Around, a dollar and a half? A dollar and a half, okay. Yeah. That's 30 out six cost around now a Dollar and a half dollar half. Yeah, that's what it should cost him to kill a deer, right? Assuming he can get it one shot or two, right? So five dollars in ammunition right in but hey, it can add up gas and yada yada I do think you're right having a plan financially is important

It's good and let's take hunting off the table because this seems to be a third real topic in your house. Let's say it's any number of things that you like to do. Baby step two is survival. It's about running and gunning, and you put a pause on expensive things. You put a pause on going out. You put a pause on some of these things. And so I can imagine Hope hasn't gone out to eat,

hadn't been on a date, hadn't got her hair or nails done in a year, and husband wants to go spend $1,000 deer hunting. I get that, I get that. But I think beneath it, we have to say yes. We're gonna have a financial plan before we do anything, anything, especially in baby step two. Yeah, but the other thing is this,

whatever it is you're trying to fit into your budget when you're working in baby step two, you look at it through a different lens than you do when you're rich someday. When you're rich someday, you might pay some money to go do a hunt in a certain way, you might pay someone to process the deer, you might pay someone to have a beer.

But hunting is different than having it mounted. Hunting is different than processing. There are three different activities here. And so we can break this apart and say, one possibility is, hunting makes me happy is the only thing that makes me happy. So go hunting, kill a deer, take it out in the backyard, butcher it, and your family will actually save money

on groceries as a result. So it's a net gain, but no processing fee and no mounting. Get our friend the Butcher Brothers on YouTube. Then you have to say, mounting makes me happy. No, that doesn't, no, I'm calling bull on that one, right? That's a thousand dollar piece of decoration on your wall. Yeah, that collects dust and pretty soon you'll be tired of Bambi's daddy.

So, but yeah, really, seriously. We mounted a shark one time we caught and that thing, we couldn't get rid of it. No, you can never get rid of it. It went from house to house and finally it's in somebody's attic now. You know what, as soon as that person dies, it's gonna end up in someone else's attic.

Oh, it's probably gonna end up in the dumpster before it's, I mean, it's like, it served its, it was way past its joy. But fishing makes me happy. No, it doesn't. Okay, so there you go. Yeah, so I think the trick here is find ways to do things you love and that are a net gain.

This guy could actually go hunting and it saves on the grocery bill net net, is zero cost and even a positive to the family. That's exactly right. Yeah. That's right. Because a deer tenderloin is phenomenal. I had one for lunch today. There we go, oh my mouth just watered over. So I'm saying this like someone who hunts a lot.

I think there's some, there's just some straw man going on here. There's some false reality here. A bunch of crap going on in this, yeah. Yeah, for real. So yeah, he needs to say, I'm all in for our goals and so I'm going to decrease the grocery

budget because I'm gonna do the butchering this year myself I'm going to not mount anything I kill this year myself and if hunting makes you happy you'll shoot another one you can mount later that's right that's we're just gonna shoot does this year we're not gonna mount anything we're just shooting for food this year and I'm gonna get out and get some fresh air I mean we're gonna go on from there bow hunt and cost anything that soon we get the arrow back I mean it was a pretty expensive man way more expensive than bullets yeah that's true but you got to get it back

so that's right but yeah it's this is Jeff so yeah the Davis feels like he's a toddler if he's saying if he's saying this, he's acting like a toddler. If he's really saying this. But it sounds like Hope has given up a lot this year, and she wants him to give up his thing. And when you start keeping score, that's the death of a relationship. That's not necessary. It's not necessary. How can we do as many of the things that we both want to do and it doesn't have a net net loss to our budget That's substantial that keeps us from accomplishing our big goals Which is financial freedom so we can if you hunt like no one else later

You can hunt like no one else. Oh, I like that so but here's another example We tell people don't go to restaurants don't go out on dates. You can't afford it. You're in baby step two But you can go for a walk together and hold hands in the neighborhood. You can put the kids to bed and light some candles and talk to each other and make a date around your house. You're just gonna have to do it differently because you don't have any money, you're broke. And I think that's the same thing here.

Yeah, exactly right. We're gonna find some ways to do it, but man. Everybody in this house needs to grow up a little bit. All right open phones this hour triple eight eight two five five two two five. I'm not crazy right? No you're not I mean it's the difference in the kid playing rec league and the kid doing eight thousand dollars a year in travel sports. Yeah is the goal to play baseball and be a good teammate and have fun or is it to Make yourself feel better at the expense of your 12 year old well, but or I mean the family's broke

But the kids got an eight thousand dollar travel schedule, and he's never gonna play ball right past high school But by God you know what what I mean really we established pretty quick Daniel Ramsey's good hockey player But we still was pretty quick. He wasn't gonna be in the NHL And so based on that we decided how much we're gonna invest in this process, you know what I mean? It's like, you know, and you can get your collarbone broken playing high school hockey, you don't have to do this, you don't have to do it on the road somewhere.

Hey James, we're talking about hunting and travel sports, anything else you want us to talk about to get us canceled? I was gonna put this question on with George and Rachel, but I think it worked a little better with you guys. Yeah, George. George dealing with deer hunting, that would be good. He would be the guy that spends that kind of money on it too. He's the bougie hunter.

George gets scared at the deli section at Whole Foods. I can't see him out in the woods. Is it gluten free? That's all he wants from her. Excuse me, Mr. Deer, please don't eat it gluten free? That's all he wants from her. Excuse me, Mr. Deer, please don't eat those acorns. That's of gluten's in them. That's not fair.

George isn't here to defend himself. This is the Ramsey show. Hey you guys, I'm not a fan of the big banks and you probably already know which ones I mean, but I do like credit unions because they're non-profit Hey you guys, I'm not a fan of the big banks and you probably already know which ones I mean. But I do like credit unions because they're non-profit organizations that focus on their members. And I'm proud to endorse Fairwinds Credit Union because they share the Ramsey mission of helping people get out of debt and live generously. In fact, they design

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account bundle they created just for ramsey fans to help you take control of your finances. That's fair wins. F-A-I-R-W-I-N-D-S dot org slash Ramsey. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. Where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Delaney, PhD in counseling, number one bestselling author and host of the very popular Ramsey Network show, The Dr. John Delaney Show. He's my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Leonardo is in Chicago.

Hi Leonardo, how are you? Hi, I'm good Leonardo, how are you? I am good Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve, what's up? Well Dave, to put it just straight forward, I kind of got lucky in the stock market. I'm up 180,000, but now I'm in a midlife crisis. I don't know what to do with my life. Should I put that money, go to school,

or maybe should I get a property? I'm 24 years old. I think The properties in Chicago are not too expensive compared to other cities, but I would love your input Yeah, okay Okay, so you hit the lotto and you got 180 grand And you're you're 24 years old. What are you gonna do with your life? What are you gonna do with your life? What do you want to be when you grow up?

I mean when you're 54, what do you look back and go, I like the 24-year-old Leonardo because he made a wise decision at 24. What does that 54-year- old doing at that point? I think I can be a, um, and it's cause my father's an electrician. So if I can follow through his steps, I can also get help from him. I think that's a, um, a noble career, maybe not the best paying, but I, I think that's a pretty good career to have. Um, our, our friend,

King Coleman just just read a report recently about the explosion of millionaires who are plumbers and electricians who are creating businesses. It is a noble career, but it feels like you fell backward into that to me. Like your dad's doing it. That's how you figured it out. Yeah, maybe you're right. It's just like, I've always been into business. Like I've always really liked it.

I've always liked to find ways to make money lucratively, but I want stability if I'm being honest. I'm tired of feeling stressed. If you make $200,000 a year in your business, you'll be stable. Yeah. But you have to know when to walk away from the table. Yeah, but I'm saying don't confuse boring with stable. Yeah, I think right now I...

Stable is predictable is all stable is. And if you know how, if you are better at business than you are at being an electrician, then running a business of some kind is different than speculating and gambling on stocks. So you could be in the business world, maybe that's what you want to learn how to do. You want to start and operate a business of some kind. You may have something already in mind you'd like to do, do you? I actually, not really if I'm being honest, I kind of really like real estate, which is why I wanna buy a property living

like maybe the basement and then rent out the first floor and then I could basically live for the same price I'm living currently, which is, I've always lived below my means. Currently my rent is $600 and I'm very grateful for the people that are letting me rent here. Hold on Leonardo Leonardo Leonardo you're mimicking something you saw on Instagram. What do you want to do? You don't want to

live in the basement while somebody lives above you. Yeah. What do you want to do? What's the 54 year old Leonardo doing that is glad that he did this? It's fulfilling. It's a predictable thing. He's used his skills and his Passions to build a wonderful life for himself. What's he doing? That's what you need to do So I don't know what that is. I don't know if you do today So I can't tell you what to do based on this call what What I can tell you is you need to go through Ken Coleman's assessment and finding the work. You find the work you're wired to do. I'll send

you the copy of the book and the assessment. I want you to take that and then begin to do some analysis. You might even call and talk to Ken on his show or jump on his website and interface with him on email. However you want to do it, I don't care. But I think we've got to figure out... don't make the mistake of picking a career because you think it makes money. Don't make the mistake of picking a career because your dad did. Don't make the mistake of picking a career or a track because it's quote-unquote stable because people that when people say something like that what that means to me is is they don't

think running their own small business is stable and I can promise you that there are more millionaires running small businesses than any other category. And don't watch social media and try to quote unquote hack your way to wealth because that's what you're going to do. That's exactly it. You're going to give somebody ten grand for their ten step course to how to hack their wealth and all you're going to do is make them rich. Yeah, exactly.

There's not a... There's not a hack. Quit looking for a way to make money. Look for a way to find something that adds value... Help somebody, yeah. value to the world and that gives you a sense of passion, a sense of peace. I'm going to send you a copy of this assessment and this book on how to read the assessment. I want you to go through it in detail.

I want you to take some time and prayer over it and unpack it. If you want to call us back, you can call us back at that point. Go over, call back one day, Kim McKinsey on here, go over the results with him. It would be good. Because the results are self-explanatory, by the way, but aside from that, that's what you're looking for. You're looking for something where your passions intersect your talents, not just what someone else did because it made money.

Well, I think the matrix is your passions and your talents overlay what does the world need? It's old Frederick Beaton, like what does the world desperately need that you can provide? That only you can provide. Right, and man, go make that happen. And the money will follow you, man. The money will follow you.

Dave, he said something and he said it in his own unique way but it's an old psychological trope. Wherever you end up, you go with you. He won on stocks. Young kid, won $180,000. He bet right. He threw darts backwards, which is what day traders do, and he won. And he thought that was going to solve everything. He made more in one cash out than his dad did in a year and he still was anxious and he said, I just want peace, I'm tired of stressed out all the time. And he realized, oh, I went with me. And so I don't want this life,

I don't want this rattling around all the time. And searching for peace is always that alignment of where are you providing value and where are you working really hard and where are you getting better and better and better at a thing that you're good at. And man you just got to keep doing it. There's not a hack to that. You got to just keep showing up and showing up and showing up and showing up. Yeah and that's not running to your dad's career. No. And it's not running to a career that someone outlined is a good way to make money. That's right.

It's finding how you're wired and put together. Okay, so we know that the high stress, uber high risk environment of day trading, which is ludicrous, is not for you. It's not for anybody. But we also know it's not for you. You said that. But you also said, I like business. Yeah. Now what's that mean? You need to unpack that because that's a very valuable phrase right there. I've always been in business for myself except for one three-month period of time. Or I've been straight commission, one of the two. So that when I made money, when I caused something to happen, I made money.

I've always been able to make the connection between those two. So I agree with you. I like business, but that can open up a lot of doors to you. You can do a lot of different things you're passionate about and you add value to your people in your life. This is the Ramsey Show. Remember the good old days of the internet before it was a privacy nightmare filled with spammers, scammers, hackers and fraudsters? Simpler times.

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You'll have a payment you can afford with a low fixed interest rate, and you couldn't get anywhere else. So go to yrefi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter y, r-e-f-y dot com slash Ramsey. Might not be in all states. All right. Today's question comes from Abigail in West Virginia. Abigail writes, my in-laws are too much to deal with.

Specifically, my mother-in-law. Abigail, she knows you wrote this. She, I don't know how mother-in-laws know, they just know. She has to stick her nose into everything. She has a key to our house, which was bought by my husband before we got married. She's folded our laundry, cleaned our house, and moved stuff while we were not at home.

Oh man. I've asked my husband to talk to her, but he told me he couldn't do it and told me to chill out. You don't have a mother-in-law problem. You have a husband problem. You have a husband problem. He's a wuss. God almighty. That makes me so uncomfortable to think my mom would come over to our house. My mom's amazing, but my mom would come over and go through our stuff. Unsolicited. Without your permission.

And even more uncomfortable, as my wife said, I need this to not happen again. And I said, I can't do it. I can't do it. I'm scared of my mommy. Oh my gosh, Abigail. You have a husband problem He needs to run down to Walmart on aisle three and pick up a backbone Yeah, and some Pampers while he's there because he might TT in his pants while he talks to mommy Y'all need to have this come. I mean, this is awful. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry

awful mother-in-law is gonna do what, here's the deal. I think if, and maybe she's controlling, I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. I think mother-in-law is trying to love her little baby the best she knows how. She's trying to be helpful and she's screwed up. Yes, and she doesn't think you're loving him the right way, but she's not gonna say anything.

She's just gonna keep doing it. And I think your cute little hubby is a gigantic 14 year old and he needs to grow up real real quick. Yeah So um if you say a thing You start a 10-year feud you can't say a thing the only thing you can do is encourage your husband to get have a backbone and say a thing. The only thing you can do is encourage your husband to have a backbone and this is out of line. The boundaries are there's no boundaries here. This is ridiculous and it needs to stop yesterday. Tell him you want the

locks changed and you want him to talk call his mother and tell her to not come in your home without clearing it with both of you first that you're a married couple and this is weird and she shouldn't be doing this. Mom, we love you, thank you for the help. You can't do this anymore. I've changed the locks. Your key's not good anymore and you don't need to come in our home anymore. It's a real short, calm conversation and he needs to man up and do that. If he cannot do that, you do not have a mother-in-law problem.

You have a husband problem, and you'll need to sit down with a marriage counselor. Correct. And by the way, to husband listening to this, you don't call your mom and say, Hey, my wife doesn't want you coming in the house to learn anymore. No, goober. You be a grownup and you say, I, I messed up.

Leave and cleave. That's right. Leave your mother and father. We need to figure out how to do these things on our own. To your spouse. Golly, dude. And mother-in-laws, don't break into your kids' homes and do their laundry for them,

unless there's like a medical crisis or a newborn and they've asked for your help. Don't do that. Even if there's a newborn and they ask for your help, you still ask permission. Yes, of course, but I mean that's if you've been invited in. You show up with a key that you had before they were married. So one of the best practical jokes we ever played was a key. Have you heard this one? No, I had a personal assistant 25 years ago beautiful Christian lady and She got engaged. So for her engagement party all the guys we took her to an ice hockey game in Nashville and the

The announcer at the hockey game was a friend of mine And so one of the guys in the office that was where this was about 10 guys went all throughout the whole section and handed every guy a key. Went to the hardware store and got keys. And the announcer said, Sheree is getting married next week, anyone that has a key to her apartment needs to bring it to her.

And like 500 guys got up and started bringing keys to her. It was such a wonderful practical joke. But yeah, that's much better than this one. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This just makes me sad. Yeah, this is bad, yeah. And can I tell you this one thing?

So one time, a friend of mine, they were having some family stuff and there was a couple friend of me and my wife's and we've known them forever and ever and ever. And they were going through some, like just somebody passed away or something and I said, hey, let's get them a house cleaner. Just to come in and clean up.

And my wife looked at me and said, are you crazy? So what do you mean? She said, you know what that would feel like to me if somebody came over to see us and then they hired someone to come clean my house? Oh, it'd be like an insult. It'd be an insult. And so I've got to say, mom coming over to clean the house

and do the laundry is a little bit of a flex. Ooh. Right? It's a little bit of a flex. And so- It's like cooking the lasagna. It's like- That's the recipe you got for lasagna. You're not taking care of my little boy.

The way he deserves to be taken care of, I'll come over and help. It kind of feels like Ray Romano's mom. It's like your underwear was folded wrong. That's, yes. So I had to redo it. I'm sorry, honey, I'll do it for you. Yeah.

And so, yeah, husband needs to grow up. Mother-in-law flex. This whole thing makes me feel uncomfortable. Dave, I never feel uncomfortable, this one does. This is like, it's got a little stalker-esque. It does, man. She's got a key and she sneaks in like Keebler's elves or something and cooks and does the laundry.

No, cause this is kind of mother-in-law that leaves a note that says, hey, I noticed things were messy, so I cleaned up and I vacuumed. Y'all have a great night. And it's just like a little, oh man. It's a total flex.

But if you say anything, it's like, oh, I was just trying to help, I'm so sorry. I won't help anymore. Yeah. Right? Martyr out, the martyr out. Martyr out, she'll definitely martyr out. The old,

oh, okay. There's some old Dairy Queen napkins in the glove box. I'll just eat those. Y'all just go eat wherever you want to. I'll just eat the old Kleenexes and I'll just sit in the car and be cold. And when y'all get done, y'all just come out. It's that.

Hey, I did run into a guy the other day this opening a new food truck called Wherever You Wanna Go. That's the genius. Because when everybody asks where they wanna eat, it's wherever you wanna go. Wherever you wanna go. Oh, okay, we're heading.

We'll go. Right there. There used to be a great little honky tonk in Lubbock, Texas called the library. We'd be like, where you going? Going to the library. All right, good. The honky tonk.

Going to the library. Love it. All right, boys and girls, boundaries are necessary. And I will admit that the hardest stage of parenting for me has been parenting children who are no longer in my control. It is the hardest stage to stay out of other people's business that are grown-ups even if they are from my flesh and blood. And so that does not matter.

And I don't have any major issues it's not like any of them are doing anything extremely stupid or something but still just not telling grown-up people what they have to do with your dad voice it requires a little bit of discipline yeah um even today my son is studying for his first round of high school finals. He's a freshman and I know the science of studying. I know the pedagogy of studying. I've been a high school and a college teacher for my whole career and he's got to go through this first round of finals studying the way he rolls his eyes says, dad I know. Okay and right and it's hard because I want to go in there and

say this is what he's got to learn this time and then next time we'll be able to speak from a place of, I need some help. Yeah. That's right. And it's hard. It's hard when you're when the your precious little Johnny's underwear isn't folded right. Mother-in-law, it's Abigail's husband now. Abigail. Back up. Back up. Be cool. Be cool, man. She has to stick her nose into everything. It's the move stuff while we weren't home.

Ah! That one's weird. Yeah, the furniture's rearranged. It's kind of like misery. Yeah, it's got a stalker-esque thing to it. The penguin always faces north. This is the Ramsey Show. Hey everybody, listen to this. Helix, who makes the best mattresses on planet Earth,

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Better than I deserve. How can we help? Well, so I have a question about long-term care insurance or possibly buying an annuity to take care of those issues later in life and I know you're the person to help me out with that. Okay long-term care and annuity for later in life. Help me give me give me a little I don't understand why we're worried about this. All right. So here's why. So I'm 57. My husband is 55. He was just diagnosed with a very aggressive stage four cancer, but otherwise has always been very healthy. Thank you. It's been quite, quite a deal.

He was diagnosed about four months ago. Fortunately, we own our home. We have 950,000 in retirement. But I just keep wondering what am I supposed to do about purchasing a policy for later in life when we're old and need to maybe be in a long-term care facility or a nursing home and you know I've read some and it's just it's all a little confusing to me. Okay, well let's just talk nursing home insurance for a minute okay or long-term care or long-term care insurance the industry has changed dramatically since that category began 20 25 years ago today about all you can buy is three years of coverage okay you can buy three years of nursing home care coverage it'll cost you about a thousand

bucks a month give or take if you're in your 60s and you have reasonable health. Okay I'm just talking about in general terms here. All right and in general terms the average nursing home stay in America is 2.8 years. Right. Because generally when someone goes to a nursing home you know that they they're not alive for very long after that. That's just a general statistical thing. It doesn't mean nursing homes kill people. That's not what I'm saying. But I mean, we're sick, we're in the later stages. It's not hospice, but it is also elderly. It's a lot of different things. Okay. So 2.8 years. So your exposure, if you said $100,000 a year for three years is 300 grand on average on average and you guys are now looking

at someone, one of us might need care. Yeah. And then we would obviously would have been talking about long-term care insurance. I generally don't recommend it until you're 60 years old. He's not insurable right now so it doesn't matter. He's gonna have to get that. Yeah he's gonna have to get the other side of the cancer diagnosis for a while healed before he's gonna be insurable. But having said that I think you're probably self-insured and Here's why here's why not because you can't get it

But let's say let's say he's the other side of a cancer diagnosis far enough that you could actually get it And let's pretend that are you working outside the home? Right now we both are okay. He's not he's not for long. He's gonna be in treatment, right? No, he's no he we're both university faculty and He is working from home. Okay, he's able to do that with his chemo treatment or whatever. He's doing okay. Okay, good Yeah, and then what do you make? My base salary is 63 his is Can you all live on that? Your salary? Yeah. Oh, can we or do we? Can you? I need to figure that out. Okay, if you did, if

you did, here's what we've got. You said you've got almost a million dollars in your 401k, right? Correct. If, if it's invested in good mutual funds, and if it averages 10% or more Without adding to it. It will double every seven years Okay. Okay. And so you're 57. He's 55 at 64 for you. You'd have 2 million at 71 for you You you'd have 2 million at 71 for you You would have 4 million So you'll have between 2 and 4 million dollars before you need to pay for a nursing home

And you can afford to write a check for the 300 without having bought any insurance. That's why I'm thinking you're self-insured So it sounds like what you're saying is I don't need well you're saying I don't need to worry about it right now which is a relief. You can't you can't worry about it right now because he can't buy it right now. You could buy it but you don't need to worry about it. Yeah I don't need it right now. Yeah. See how I got there? Kind of I'm just really nervous listening to you talk because I listen to you almost every day and now I'm actually talking to you My brain is just okay. I've learned a lot about shark heads in the attic So sorry Allison, let me ask you this

How much of This spinning out this okay. What about this? I got a plan for this. How much of this spinning out, this, okay, what about this? I got a plan for this, I got a plan for this. Is just the utter loss of control you feel when somebody says the word cancer with somebody you love? Well, I'm sure that's part of it. Because here's what it sounds like to me.

Dave and I take calls all the time. Um. Cause here's what it sounds like to me. Dave and I take calls all the time. Mm-hmm. You guys for being in your mid to back half of your 50s. Are really in good shape. You're in amazing shape. Financially.

And my mom is still a professor into her 70s. You can do your job for ages. AI may take it, right? But like, let's just pretend you keep doing that. Yeah. Yeah. You're in an amazing position. Okay, so I don't, okay. The challenge for you is to exhale

and be present with your husband, which is gonna be hard and scary. Yeah, yeah, it is. Y'all are good, man, you're good. Whew, well, I just wanted to be thinking like five years in advance for him. What do I need to be thinking? Let's do day by day. Five years from, let's go seven years from today you have two million dollars and a paid for house. You may not want to buy long-term care insurance. You may want to just say I'll pay for it if I

need to. That's just, that's I get confused, like how would I even access that? Because it's like all in... Well you'll just call your investment advisor and say I need $100,000 a year for a nursing home for my husband. And they'll pull it out of the investments. And instead of $2 million, you'll have $1 one million seven left if he stays in a nursing home an average period of time. Allison have they put him on a clock? You know that's an interesting question so it's a just to protect his privacy I'm not going to say what kind of cancer it is but the I mean he's been incredibly

healthy and so this again just came out in nowhere but in terms of a clock the five years for survival rate up until last year was 8% a clinical trial, he's, he's now doing what the clinical trial, you know, who has now been, uh, accepted or approved by the FDA. So there is no five year. Okay. There's at this point there isn't, but what we do know is that with the treatment that they're doing for him, I, we're looking at maybe a 20% chance of eradication of the cancer and we're doing everything that we can to get him in there. He's never smoked, he's never

drank, you know, he's always been active and so, but it's the getting there that's really hard. That is. So let's stay as optimistic as possible and let's stay deeply in prayer and let's stay deeply in prayer and let's try these these clinical trials. Amazing. And let's remember that every second is golden when it comes to how precious it is. And let's let tomorrow's, you guys are in such great shape, let's let tomorrow's worries be tomorrow's. Right now we're gonna just celebrate and be in enjoy with every precious second. If you don't tear into your nest egg, you're gonna be self-insured for long-term care needs

when you're in your mid-60s. That's the answer to your question. You're fine. Well done. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey guys, it's Rachel Cruz and guess what? It's my favorite time of year. The lights, show. always remember. And at the same time, I don't want to look back at my bank account in January and think, oh, what did I do? So that's why I use the Every Dollar budgeting app. It helps me plan for all of my spending. And that's what a budget is. Then once I have my plan in place, I don't have to worry about overspending. I am free to spend guilt free and have fun doing it. Plus with Every Dollar, you can customize your budget however you want. So whether it's buying gifts, hosting dinners, or even turning your living room into a winter wonderland,

EveryDollar helps you plan for it all. So you guys go out and create some great holiday memories with your family without the stress of overspending. Download the EveryDollar app for free today. Go download it today. the Every Dollar app for free today. Go download it today. Dr. John Delaney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host. He's also my compadre on this money and relationships tour we're doing in the spring. We are doing something we've never done. I've done live events for 30 years where I come out

on stage and I catch you and tell you what to do with your money and that kind of stuff. And we're going to do that, but we're going to do it in a different way. We're going to let you select the topics you want John and I to talk about while you're sitting in the audience before we come out. We're going to send them out there to your phone and then we're going to design the show that night custom for each one of the cities. I think this is going to be cool, John. Every city is going to be different.

And I tell you what, I tell people all the time, I don't get nervous anymore, I get excited, but I don't get nervous anymore. I'm pretty nervous about this one. This one's gonna be fun. Ah, it'll be like sitting here answering questions. We don't know what questions are coming in here. So, yeah, it's like, we make it up as we go, dude. Several thousand people in a fancy theater.

It's gonna be fun. Yeah, there's several million listening here, but yeah, there's that, yeah. Hey, guys, you gotta love it. It's gonna be fun. The Money and Relationships Tour. The first one's April 21st in Louisville. It's John and me. So be sure you join us. Durham is in April 23rd, Atlanta, April 25th, Phoenix May 5th, Fort Worth May 7th, in Kansas City May 9th. These are all about 50% or so sold out. So you can probably still get your tickets without any trouble, but they will probably after

the first of the year is how these things usually work in our world. They usually take off and it'll probably blow out like sometime in January and you won't be able to get a ticket. So jump in there and the seats are all signed seats so you get to select where you're going to sit with Ticketmaster and all that junk, which isn't something we've never done before either so this is kind of fun. So if you want the good seat before they get down to the last few you go ahead and get it now right?

That's right it's not going to be a general admission just walk in wherever it's like it's going to a theater. We actually have a signed you know it's like these days if you go to a movie theater that's what you do right? So ramsysolutions.com slash tour or you can go if you're on YouTube or podcast you can click the link in the show notes Andrew is in Columbus Ohio hi Andrew welcome to the Ramsey show better than I deserve what's up so my wife and I have about a hundred thousand dollars in debt not including our mortgage

um We make about 80,000 a year uh, so we We I say we have made bad decisions, but it's really I put it on me, but we've got ourselves in some Pretty bad debt. So i'm just trying to figure out The best way to get out of it with the money we make. It seems like in my head we don't make enough. What's the debt? Credit cards, personal loan and student loans. How much car debt?

No car debt. We own our cars outright, but we have a personal loan for $35,000 that I use to reconsolidate, and then I sold the vehicle that I had to purchase that, basically. Okay, so what is your car worth? The car, so I have a Ford Expedition that's probably worth $11,000 at the moment and then we just have a smaller vehicle that's not really worth anything. It's got 200 plus thousand miles on it. And that's your two cars. You don't have any other cars?

No. Okay, and your household income again is what? $80,000. Okay, how long y you all been married? It's been three years now. We've been together for probably, I think, like seven. Okay. So if you cut up the credit cards and take extra jobs and don't go out to eat and don't go on vacation and live on a scorched earth budget, no life, how fast do you think you can pay this off? Making 80, you need to pay off 100.

So, I work on the weekends doing side jobs. It's not fully consistent, but it's probably at least twice a month. That ranges anywhere from 500 to 1,000. And I try to use that. I just started listening to you guys like the past two weeks, because really we've been arguing a lot about money, trying to be on the same page, you know, and just finally I started listening to you guys and I was like, hey, we're done with this, you know, debt stuff. We need to get our life together because we have two kids and I just I don't want them to have a bad future so I want to get ourselves

set so we can give them a good future and set them up. Okay let's pretend that you make 80 and you lived on 50 and you put 30 on debt you'd be done in three years. Let's pretend you raise that to a hundred and you put fifty on debt you be done in two years but you're both working extra jobs and you have absolutely no life and it's not an occasional thing you work all the time for two years and you're done. Okay. That's how this that's how the math shakes out. 24 months. Yeah. How long have you been unable to breathe, dude? I've probably been about a year now. Okay, so go give me two and you're done. You're at zero.

You're free. Forever. Yeah. You cut up your cards and you never borrow money again. But that means you can't hem-haul around every couple weeks like maybe I'll have some work this weekend. That means all the time you're working. I have a job at Costco and I go straight from there on Saturdays to throw boxes at Walmart until 11 o'clock at night and then I get home and I get up at 6 a.m. on Sunday I go to church I go do it again and then I do my regular job Monday through Friday and she and you are locked arms and you're couponing the kids are wearing consignment yes experienced clothing you

don't have a life you don't get to do anything, but you get your life back two years from today forever. That's living like no one else, so later you can live and give like no one else. You're gonna pay a price to get out of this. The deeper you cut into your life, the faster you get out. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah it does. You think she's gonna be on board with that?

I absolutely think she will be on board because we've talked about it now for the past couple months and we're both just tired of being stressed and arguing all the time about it. And we just we want to make a change. I think it's just hard for us because it's hard for us to see and picture it because we're so far behind it seems like there's just it seems like well I mean take a hundred a hundred thousand in debt right yes put 50 on it a year and you're done in two years agreed yes okay in order to do that making 80 you need to raise your part-time income by 20. That gets you to 100 and then you're living on 50 and you're putting 50 on there. That's

four thousand plus dollars a month on the debt. Okay. And that the math says you're done in two years. That's not false hope. That's real. But what, but I am not saying this can be easy. I'm going to say it's the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. It will change your life. It will transform your marriage. It will change who you are as a man. Two years from now, you will walk different. And if y'all stay together, your bootcamp, your marriage will be so united because y'all know we can do anything together.

And few things light up a wife like a husband with lasers in his eyes on behalf of the family. Yeah. You can do this. But you gotta come alive, brother. I think you've got the language you're using and the way I'm hearing you speak after having done what I do for 30 years. You're giving me all the right signals that you're sick and tired of being sick and tired and when you get there you're ready to change. You're ready to do something new. If you're ready to change and you're ready to do something new, I can show you how to get out faster than anybody else, but I am warning you ahead of time.

It's gonna be painful and I'm also gonna warn you ahead of time it will work and I'm also gonna warn you ahead of time it's going to be painful and I'm also going to warn you ahead of time it will work and I'm also going to warn you ahead of time that it's worth it. You'll be free for the rest of your life. Okay. Yeah, yeah, we've been we've been making that talking about that for like I said the past couple months. Okay, there's no more. Tonight it starts. We're game on. I'm going to send you Financial peace university, and I'm gonna send you every dollar premium Free as my gift to you because I've been where you are I've been scared Hopeless didn't know what the crap was going on. I know exactly how it feels It does not feel good, and then I reached the same point. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired And it changed my life man. That's why I'm telling you to work so hang on

We'll send you that and get you guys going on this and also throw in a total money makeover book for the heck of it let's just Merry Christmas ho ho ho right let's just make sure you get the whole dose and dunk yourself in this stuff and listen whatever your broke friends say if they're making fun of you that means you're on track if your mother-in-law thinks you joined a cult that means you're on track. If your mother-in-law thinks you joined a cult, that means you're on track. Get it. Get it, baby. Game on. Get it. You can do it. This is The Ramsey Show. What up what up? It's Dr. John Delaney from the Dr. John Delaney Show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app.

This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90 day journey to transform their lives and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way. Okay, now here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey? So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?

What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. What does crippling anxiety mean? All right, so you ready to jump in? I'm ready to jump in. So we're gonna check in with Kelsey. 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. I cannot even function because I'm just crying.

My mom left us when I was four. I truly felt like for a while I had no family. She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy. He triggers me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough. It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey.

It is. Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not OK. How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show. One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off.

I was just burdened. You're burdened, that's right. To the one person who should carry it, all of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault? I don't know what to do. You either have to choose to let this guy love you or you gotta choose to let this guy go.