The Reel Rejects - Inside the Mind of Ryan Arey (ScreenCrush): Lessons from Superman, Star Wars, Loneliness, & Fandom

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

A Conversation I'll Never Forget. In this heartfelt episode of Diary of a Reel Reject, Greg Alba sits down with Ryan Arey, the brilliant mind behind ScreenCrush, for a conversation that dives deep into the emotional power of storytelling. From Star Wars and Superman to the timeless themes of tragedy and sacrifice, Ryan shares profound insights into how these stories have shaped his identity and career. They discuss Luke Skywalker’s internal struggles, Superman’s unwavering morality, and why these heroes continue to resonate across generations. Ryan opens up about the loneliness of leading a fandom-driven channel, the emotional cost of fandom on creators, and how tragedy and sacrifice make stories unforgettable—from The Brave Little Toaster to Charlotte’s Web. He also reflects on how movies and TV shows like Watchmen and The Dark Knight changed his perspective on life. Whether you’re a die-hard Star Wars fan, a Superman enthusiast, or someone curious about the deeper impact of stories, this episode will leave you inspired. Support The Channel By Getting Some REEL REJECTS Apparel! https://www.rejectnationshop.com/ Music Used In Manscaped Ad:  Hat the Jazz by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ POWERED BY @GFUEL Visit https://gfuel.ly/3wD5Ygo and use code REJECTNATION for 20% off select tubs!! Head Editor: https://www.instagram.com/praperhq/?hl=en Co-Editor: Greg Alba Co-Editor: John Humphrey Music In Video: Airport Lounge - Disco Ultralounge by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Ask Us A QUESTION On CAMEO: https://www.cameo.com/thereelrejects Follow TheReelRejects On FACEBOOK, TWITTER, & INSTAGRAM:  FB:  https://www.facebook.com/TheReelRejects/ INSTAGRAM:  https://www.instagram.com/reelrejects/ TWITTER:  https://twitter.com/thereelrejects Follow GREG ON INSTAGRAM & TWITTER: INSTAGRAM:  https://www.instagram.com/thegregalba/ TWITTER:  https://twitter.com/thegregalba Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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pop up like it's hot, pop up like inside. Pick your favorite template, you can tailor it to your brand. They're MailChimp-A-Rific, you're gonna be a fan. MailChimp your marketing, with our new customizable pop-ups. Today, I am joined by my brother-in-arms against the great heavy spoilers. Ryan Airy from Screen Crush.

Ryan, I only have you for a limited time because you've got some things to tend to. Making me feel terrible about it. No, no. Growing up, who was your celebrity crush and why? I was like a little kid, but I was like, ooh, girls are pretty. You know, I kind of had that mindset with it.

What character would you say that you most identify with? I always felt really lonely as a kid. So Luke Skywalker has that aspect as well. What is the kind of thing in a movie that tends to make you cry the most? For me, I think it's sacrifice. It's somebody giving all of themselves to someone else simply because it's the right thing to do. I got to say, the start of this, I was like, okay, maybe this will be the biggest joke-heavy podcast we've done. I can do that.

I can be insincere if you want. Please, for the love of God, Ryan. Well, hello there, citizens of the reject nation. Welcome to another episode of Diary of a Real Reject. Today I am joined by my brother in arms against the great heavy spoilers. Ryan Airy from Screen Crush, who's actually a really great guy. Ryan, I only have you for a limited time list than all the other guests we've ever had because you've got some things to tend to. Well, wait, how long do the other guest stay for? I feel bad now.

They've been here for like an hour and a half, two hours. They're usually like, I don't want to leave, Greg. I want to stay. Normally that would be my case, but man, with the holidays, I got, I got things to break down, my friend. Like, it is Easter egg season out there right now. What show are we joining Ryan Airy for at in Los Angeles? We're doing a live show. I believe it's on January 12th, but you can just search Screen Crush live show on Google. I don't know the address, but you'll find it today with X1 Entertainment. That's us. And yeah, we're really looking forward to it. We've got some really cool stuff planned. We're going to do exclusive breakdowns. I'm going to rope this guy into reacting to some stuff. I hope. I haven't even asked him yet. I'm asking him now. It's going to be a lot of fun. Come on out. I can't wait to meet you guys. I love your hosting voice. You got that switch. You know that you're mom. You have Dulcet Toads, my friend. I like that we also each have disc plates behind us. I don't know if you've caught onto that. But yeah, these are the textured ones, you know? Yeah, yeah. I love them. I love your whole set. And I was talking with Ryan beforehand for like a second. And he was saying he's never seen an episode of this. So Ryan, here's how it works. On this. On this. show we talk about movies TV shows and possibly celebrities of how they have helped shape our identities so i'm not going to be maybe we talk about marvel and all the crap that people usually

tune in for the great ryan airy for um but i want to give a really sincere thank you to ryan for being a really supportive guy um i remember when we had our one and only comic con panel thus far ryan did go out of his way to attend with his wife and he was the only other person At Comic-Con, who is a friend of mine who has a YouTube channel, who actually showed up to our event. It was great. They all missed out. No, you guys put on it.

You just did a Q&A the whole time. It was amazing. You ran that shit. I appreciate it. We had you talk for a little bit, too, for like one second. And it just really means a lot that you actually showed up. I also wanted to use it as an opportunity to throw shade at everyone else who I know who was at Comic-Con and did not actually attend.

Yeah. So many fake friends out there, unlike us. Unlike us. The real friends. Or the real deal. That sort of dedication. know is why I have to, why I have a harder out than your usual guest because I got to go catch another panel with another friend on it. It keeps me really busy. So, yeah. Totally get it.

Well, Ryan, here's my opening question that I tend to ask everyone. And I love how you haven't seen any of these because this allows me to just have you going very fresh here. You're making me feel terrible about it. No, no, watch our own videos anymore. This is more exciting to me. Ryan, growing up, who was your celebrity crush growing up and why? Um, my celebrity crush growing, uh, gosh, who would that have been? Um, I think probably the first celebrity crush I remember as a kid was Pamela Wells from, uh, Teen Wolf. Remember the, the whole thing with the dressing room and stuff? That was like the first time I remember. I was like a little kid, but I was like, oh, girls are pretty. You know, I kind of had that mindset with it. Pamela Wells from Teen Wolf. I want to look her up really quick. Yeah, the character's name is Pamela Wells. She was the character like the blonde woman that like the teen that flirts with the teen wolf and stuff, but she only loves him because he's a wolf and not for the real him. Like that person. Oh, my goodness. As far as like another crush that I had,

Bell from Beauty and the Beast. Nah. I mean, it could be. It could be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Jeez, man.

That put me on the spot more than like I was expecting favorite movie, favorite TV show. Yeah, not this show, not this show, man. That's a good question. No, no, no. It's a good question. I'm not trying to duck it. Believe me.

My crush from child. What are we talking like? teenage years or just like as a kid okay i'll give you an example for me um which is weird because no i've asked this question to like a few people now and no one's actually ever asked me back so i'm just going to use it as opportunity to insert my little answer here which is um nev campbell from scream undoubtedly she was my favorite that's a great one and maybe i had like a uh like hero savior complex i think where like it was weird like growing up i'm like oh i want to protect her i want Saver. Then I found that like everyone I was attracted to kind of resembled the pale sadness of Neff Campbell in that movie. Then when I got older, I realized this right. I mean, if you're going to go with the Neve Campbell movie, what about Denise Richards from Wild Things? Okay. Yeah, or Denise Richards from Starship Troopers or Denise Richards from James, or literally anything Denise Richards has ever had. You can't really go wrong with that answer. That's true. Well, what I'm curious of going to, though, is like you immediately answered Pamela Wells. Her name's Lori Griffin, I see here.

That's it. Yeah. She wasn't in very much, though, I don't think. What do you think it was about her as a crush, though? Like, it took me a long time to realize the psychology behind. Oh, here's my podcast. What kind of podcast is this, Greg? This is a very in-depth personal. I found another podcast called Talking Movies recently that aims for the same thing. And I'm like, hell no, we're going to go way deeper than that. Okay. Okay. No, I don't know. Just because you said childhood. So I was trying to remember, like, as a child who it was that, was like, so I went back to, like, you know, the original person. I don't know that I would actually say, what was her name, Lori Griffin? Lori Griffin.

Lurie Griffin, okay. Yeah. I don't know that I would say, I'm like, oh, what's her name? And I've got her poster, like, right over here. And, like, you know, I've, like, tracked her down the internet and I'm outside of her place with some binoculars and I can see her from across the street. No, I don't know. Like, I wouldn't say anything about her.

I just remember, like, because her whole thing in that movie is being, like, the sex pot that Scott has a crush on. So maybe that was it. maybe at a very young age, I was like, oh, that's the kind of girls you have crushes on, you know. Oh, wait for interesting. That was like the idea. It could have been that. I don't know, but she was like a typical cheerleader, a blonde cheerleader in an 80s movie kind of thing.

That's fair. But as like, I don't know, if you look and go, well, when you were growing up, obviously when you're a teenager, you got a crush on anything that moves, which is why I wouldn't have even thought of Denise Richards and wild things until you said Neff Campbell. And I was like, well, I forgot to go there. Yeah. You could look at those movies. Or Bell for Mutting in the Beast. Or Bell from Beauty and the Beast, yeah. But it would have been weirder if I would have said Ariel before she's transformed.

Like, let's just be clear. Bell from Beauty of the Beast is not the weirdest crust. We're looking for that honesty, though. We want that honesty. Yeah, yeah. I actually wouldn't meet you there. There's honesty, and then there's Fiona from Shrek, but like at the end of the movie, that's, you know, that's get into a whole other thing. You know, I was like Beverly Crusher, or not Beverly Crusher, Deanna Troy on team.

G that was an early crush. Jerry Ryan, of course, on, you know, Voyager was always a crush. But like that, I was a little bit older, you know, when she joined the show. So I wouldn't call that a childhood. Because there's childhood crushes and then there's teen crushes. And teen crushes are very different and gross. Absolutely. So, yeah, I think as far as a childhood crush.

You know the other thing, too, that I remember being like, what you remember Leah Thompson and back to the future? Of course, of course. Yeah, see, that was one too, where that was like, I remember. remember distinctly thinking, that's a pretty lady. Oh, were you attracted to your mom also? Hey, that's your mom. That's your mom. That joke in your videos, I fall for it every time.

Well, we try. It never fails to miss me. And every time I'm like, by myself on the phone, like, son of a bitch got me again. It's always like that classic got me. We try to catch you off guard when you're pooping. That's really the trip to it. That's how I enjoy a good screen crush video.

So let me ask you this, then. Let me ask you this. That's the best podcast thing to say, Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Okay. Let me ask you. Bring it in.

So I did not actually get to know your wife that well, unfortunately. That is a thing that, like, kind of bothers me. Yeah. Yeah. Still a mystery to me, too. Still working on it. Yeah. We're working on that.

Which movie character would you say, movie or TV show character would you say personality-wise best resembles her that you would most liking her too? Really, a lot like Lori Griffin as Pamela Wells in the movie Teen Wolf, just a second. here. Oh yeah, she is. She's right outside. I can see her right over there. I knew that this would be the least sincere one that I've done. Do you talk? I just do it. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't talk. I, you know, I keep

like, my Instagram is private for a reason. Like, I don't really talk about family stuff that much because my wife's, you know, not in the business, so I don't usually talk about her. But what was, but I'll tell you some nuggets because that's what we're doing here today. What was the question again? The question was like, just that way there is

bit of a healthy distance in terms of separation with not exposing who your wife really is. Which character would you say in movie or TV shows is the most like her? Just so I could kind of have a better understanding of what our personality might be like. My wife is such an amazing person. And I know this sounds like a generic answer, but it's not. She really is the funniest person I know, the most beautiful woman I know, the kindest person that I know. She just has such a warm heart, loves animals. I really have to just like, I could probably just stack up different Disney princesses and compare her to them.

Like she loves books like Bell. She loves wolves like Lori Griffin from Teen Wolf. Griffith, Griffin. You said it was Griffin. No, she loves books like Bell. She's adventurous like Jasmine. She's curious like Ariel. Seriously, what she is?

Like I did marry the ultimate Disney princess. She loves animals like, what's her name? Aurora from Sleeping Beauty. Dude, that is a, that is an amazing answer on us. Mm-hmm. Because, yeah, when I didn't get to talk to her too much, we were really busy. And one of the things that I really, I'm one of those individuals that if someone has a significant other around, I tend to go out of my way to be like, I'm going to talk

to the significant other. Because I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they feel left out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It happens all the time. Can I ask a question and then about what were the early movies that you guys maybe bonded over when you first started dating each other?

Oh, that's a great question. Let me try to remember because we. met at a summer camp where you worked like 14 hour days so there weren't there wasn't much time to watch movies at the end of the day um i'll tell you a very early movie we saw together she loves penguins my wife and we went to go see when i visited her a few months later after the camp ended in scotland i remember us going to see two movies that made a big impression on us one was um the mupp the new muppet movie because you know that song in it um i've got everything that i need Is this the one with Jason Segal?

Jason Segal. Yeah. That's how we felt about each other. Like that song was very much apt whenever we were around each other. And the other one was Happy Feet, too, which I think is the better Happy Feet movie. It's like, you know, it's like George Miller just made a movie for me. I think George Miller did that one. Hmm.

Yeah, that was the one he did. Yeah. And then I remember her, like, there's a part where that little penguin is, like, huddled and everybody's made fun of them. She just leaned to me and went, I'm going to explode. because it was so adorable. And so we've always, like, loved those movies, too. And also, just from working in a summer camp, I made everybody watch Wet Hot American Summer

as many times as possible. I love that movie. So I wouldn't say that we bonded over that, but I remember that was an early one that we watched together. We might have watched Kiss Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang. That might be the first one we watched together. I remember around that time seeing it for the first time, but I'm not sure.

There, there's, I think, for guys like you and I, When it comes to the shared connect, especially for, I have a significant other who's not in the industry like us at all or has any aspirations whatsoever to be part of the industry. So finding those connective threads with film, I feel like is kind of integral in a relationship for us. And what I loved about your answers in particular is everyone knows you as part of like the nerddom, the geekdom, right? And you did not provide like the thing that you bonded over your wife with, which I'm sure you got some. probably bonded over some like... Oh, no, she loves Star Trek. She loves watching Marvel movies.

Huge Twilight fan. I think you can count that in there, too. Yeah, she's got a lot. I mean, you know, certain Marvel thing she likes a lot. But, you know, there's other Star Wars things she hasn't seen yet. But I like the plethora that you provided. So I'm hopping all over the place here because it's my challenge of the short limited runtime here. I'm like, what are everything I have never asked Ryan Erie in person before?

So when you were a kid... Well, you keep making me feel guilty. I thought it was. It would be an hour, and I was like, oh, okay, so I budgeted time for an hour. And I didn't pay attention to your messages when you explained the podcast because I didn't care because I was going to show up and be here for you no matter what. So, I don't know. Like, you know, I'm a people pleaser. That's part of what they've diagnosed me in therapy with, like people pleasing and ADHD.

So the people pleasing thing, like I feel horribly guilty if I don't give my all, but then I don't give enough to anybody. That's kind of the time constraints I always find myself then. The other character I identify the most with, I've been rewatching the show again lately. In terms of a character, because of what you just said, it reminded me of, like, who I identify the most with. And that is Chandler from Friends, undoubtedly. I don't even know. Yeah. I don't even know if it was like the Orch.

He was the one on Friends who I identified with. Like, Raphael was the Ninja Turtle I identified with when I was a kid. Because I wanted to be the class clown, you know? Okay. So was Raphael the, the character, the Ninja Turtle you identified with or the character you wanted to be? One of the same. I think when I was a kid, I especially had a class clown view of myself. Like, I was a pretty funny kid.

I did voices, stuff like that. Loved watching stand-up comedy. We'd watch stand-up comedy routines and then come do them in front of my class. So I was gravitated toward performance and sketch and stand-up. Yeah, like anytime somebody had, like, we had Showtime and I would try to VCR, you know, like tape any comedian thing that came on there. Didn't get a lot of the jokes. Like, I didn't know what an Enema was. And that was pretty simple.

Like, this one guy can pay. paired it to a water slide and I, you know, did the joke in front of my class and my teacher didn't let on what an enema was. So there you go. It was like in fifth grade, I think. Yeah. So which character would you say that you most identify with, whether it be TV show or movie? Maybe even in your present time. I'm sure this is a cliche answer, but it probably is Luke Skywalker. I can tell you exactly why, though. Okay. I grew up in a small town. And you know, it's funny when you watch these things, like I do think that a big part of the appeal for Superman and Luke Skywalker for me,

which are my two favorites. You're an only child really quick? Sorry, real quick. You're an only child? No, I have brother and sister. You have a brother and sister, okay. Yeah, I'm the youngest. They, those characters, you know,

they grew up in the country, and then they went off and did big things. And it's a standard, like, orphan boy, farmer, farm kid kind of fairy tale arc. I know that. But it works for a reason. So with Luke Skywalker, I always identified with that,

like this bored life and feeling like you weren't going to go anywhere and there was no adventure and you know it's a good that you know in the original cut of a new hope it had luke and his friends and all this kind of stuff i think it's good that they cut all that because it showed luke as somebody who was very alone and when i was a kid i'm the youngest of uh three my sister's eight years older than me my brother's six years older than me so there was a pretty sizable gap and i had a great brother and sister uh looked up to them and still do to this day but they were teenagers when i was you know an eight so they were always off doing other things or in the room with the door shut, you know, and their friends were in there. So I always felt left out. So I remember like Kermit's song, it's not easy being green, like this kind of melancholy. I like identified with that as a kid. I always felt really lonely as a kid. So Luke Skywalker has that aspect as well. And so does Superman where he really can never truly connect with anyone, even with Lois until he reveals his secret identity in the comics. But even then, there's always going to be a fundamental difference between them. So with Luke, you know,

He goes off. He has his adventures, the real, the literally book by book hero's journey, the confrontation with the dad and that stuff, which I didn't necessarily relate to. But then the fact that like Luke's main opponent in those movies isn't the empire, it's himself. It's his own impatience, his own rage, his own lack of, I guess, emotional intelligence. I think as an adolescent, you can very much relate to that character. You know, and there's a certain point in adolescence when you realize that institutions aren't solid, that things don't matter like you, you know, you thought they did. So the moment when he finds out that Darth Vader is his dad, yeah, sure, it's about George Lucas and his dad, but it's also about kids learning, like, from Watergate and stuff like that, the system doesn't work for them. And I think individually, we all have that moment at some point in our lives. And honestly, in Last Jedi, I think that painted a portrait that's pretty accurate of what it's like when you get older. you know, you, we all start off with certain ideals about the world or you think that government works this way or that way. And then eventually, like Mark Hamill even said, you know, his generation was supposed to be the one that would change things and they're the ones who elected Trump, you know, like there's something to that that is unpleasant to look at, but is extremely accurate. And as somebody who's now in his 40s, I see it. You know, I do understand that like, you know, you do get older. You people who are your age. start to die or people who you, you know, you never thought would die, die, or people who used to look up to reveal themselves to be horrible people. Like, the world changes and you're

changing with it. And the last Jedi, you see that from Luke. So I continue to kind of identify with that character, even at points when you wouldn't want to. That is awesome. Because I've heard people say before, maybe not directly here, but, you know, just been talking when people are hearing other people talk, they usually say, yeah, I've heard the answer, Luke Skywalker. So when you say cliche, sure, but the depth that you gave behind it, I was like, oh, this is more than just some admiration or aspiration quality. The fact that it's extended into your present-day life, even to the portion of Luke Skywalker that is very much a divide when it comes to audiences, I actually find very compelling. I don't think Luke is somebody you would look up to. I mean,

he ends up doing the right thing in return of the Jedi, but it's easy to gloss over exactly how far he was falling, right? At that moment when he was really given into rage, Superman is somebody you look up to because I got a great book here about Superman. I forget what it's called, but I think it's called the unauthorized biography. And with Superman, this book lays down

two fundamental rules about him. One, he always does the right thing. Two, he never gives up. So those are two things. It's something to look up to. I think you can look up to that. Would you say that you have adopted anything from Superman or Lewis,

Skywalker or perhaps a different character where you first, you actually adopted a type of philosophy or a point of view or were inspired to go down that path based off of a character. A character. Like did a movie do it for you in some way? Probably more Mr. Rogers. I think that, you know, Ted Lassow is doing it right now. But before Ted Lassow, we had Fred Rogers. This guy who just approached the world with kindness at any cost, you know, like no matter what his default. setting was always kindness.

And when I say Mr. Rogers, I don't know, I know there's a documentary about Fred Rogers, but I mean the character, Mr. Rogers. I think if you, I always try to think, and I don't ever succeed, but I always try to think like, okay, so what's the, how would I want to be treated in this situation? What's the right way and deal with it that way? Now that being said, sometimes when you're dealing with people, like especially a boss or a bully or as a boss, or dealing with a bully or something, you can't be kind and you have to be stern and then you know people respect you for that doesn't happen very often but it's very true

i actually didn't grow up on mr rogers i was late to the clips you missed out i think i think that's a big problem with the internet generation like a lot of these kids didn't grow up with a kindly old minister sitting down and playing with action figures with them for 30 minutes a day yeah the documentary i saw that you were referencing and just bawling the entire time i started it and cried a good bit in the beginning, but I didn't make it all the way through yet. The Superman documentary, I'm pumped to see. I haven't had a chance yet.

But yeah, when it came to Mr. Rogers, I actually see because I found myself wanting to follow that influence a little bit more. And I tend to be very curious about that. I tend to ask, like, guys' question because it's something that I feel, we should be able to talk a little bit more about. What is the kind of thing in a movie

that tends to make you cry the most? For me, I notice it's kind of like the actions of belief. in love. So that's why I miss something like a Mr. Rogers breaks me every time. Sacrifice usually gets me. Like I remember being a teenager and rewatching the brave little toaster in the moment

when he jumps into the gears. I don't know if you've seen the brave little toaster. It's about sentient appliances who are trying to find their owner because they'd been left alone in a house for 20 years. And so they find this kid. And then the kid's going to die at this junkyard. Like it's, you know, Disney movie. So it's kind of weird how it ends.

Is that a Disney movie? I think it is. But it was like straight to TV, like Disney Channel movie. And then, yeah, the brave little toaster leaps down and like dives in these gears. And, you know, it's like, it's like as brutal as seen dead E.T. And, yeah, that, I remember watching as a kid and crying. It's interesting, though, because usually when you cry, I think crying's amazing. I think crying is like this, you know, like I live in New York City.

So there's a, they put these steam columns up to relief pressure all the time in the streets. That's what crying is for the human. brain crying and laughing. They're same part of the brain. That's why they kind of look the same sometimes and you can't tell which is which. So they're both release valve. One is the ultimate expression of joy and the other is the ultimate expression of sorrow. But with crying, for me, it's always been this tension release valve. So you're always crying at something. So for instance, my favorite book is Charlotte's Web. At the end of Charlotte's Web, you know, Charlotte essentially sacrifices her life for Wilbur the Pig. Like she spins a web.

until she can't anymore and she gives him this lovely speech at the end about how he's going to go on and he's going to do things and he's going to see the spring and see the seasons change and that makes her happy. So just for me, I think it's sacrifice. It's somebody giving all of themselves to someone else simply because it's the right thing to do. Wow, that is a beautiful answer. What is it about sacrifice that particularly hits you? Because some people will get hit most by, like, I don't, weirdly, it depends on the situation usually, but I don't really get hit too much. character dies like i didn't really cry when like tony the first time i saw end game i actually didn't cry no i mean neither even though it is a sacrifice moment it's uh maybe it's the way edited

or whatever but normally like a death doesn't really get me well it was it was such a badass death you know what i mean like i think a death like um god i mean there are just so many deaths in movies that just like ned stark's death you know it didn't make me cry either but like it just sucks to see that happen like it's a real heartbreaker um Also, like, his death wasn't set up as a tragedy. It's set up as a triumph. And I think the really heartbreaking deaths are the ones where, you know, life is cut short, for example.

Like, you could pick a random episode of six feet under and watch the intro and get more emotional from that. I think that you would a death like that, you know, or like Superman's death and Batman versus Superman. There's very little stakes because we always know they could come back. For me, it was more like Robert Downey Jr. is not going to be in these movies anymore because I know Iron Man continues. That being said, though, when Superman died in the comics in 90s, three, I had a, like when I heard there was going to be a new villain called Doomsday who was going to kill Superman. Like, you know, comics are fictional, but I always sort of thought of comics as a story that

was happening, but just like over there where Lori Griffin is at right now, um, the stories that are happening somewhere or that they're reporting on them. Like, it's a saga that's being reported on it. So for me hearing, oh, man, Superman's going to die. I was like 12 or 13 at the time. It was a big deal. I had dreams about Doomsday. Like I was in a city by myself and Doomsday was chasing me and nobody to

save me. And then I read a letter in a comic book, like in the, you know, they used to put letters pages out. I think they still do. And somebody had had the same dream. And it's interesting that like a lot of the things that we think are so real. Like everybody, there's billions of people on the planet. Somebody else is going through that same thing. So yeah, as far as what the impetus for me to cry at certain things, I guess, or what it is about sacrifice. I didn't cry when I read that comic, which was Superman sacrificing himself. Maybe it comes back to a really. Maybe it comes back to a religious aspect because it you know like christ on the cross things like that um because you know i'm not saying i'm i kind of rate was raised in church my mom wanted us to choose for ourselves

and then i got pretty into church when i was in high school um but that being said i was always really analytical about it like i always thought why don't you guys like gay people who cares like they're born that way like i always had that thought even in like my country church i never got like brainwashed by the dogma but um you know the death of jesus was a true sacrifice and that he could have done so much more you know had he lived he could have done this and that but that's not what was important the important part was dying i've never really the whole like dying for our sins and a metaphysical change like in heaven i never really thought that was the point i thought the point was just an example of showing sacrifice to others so maybe that's point

part of it. It's the waste of potential of it. You know, I also, I had an uncle once who died of alcoholism, and that's still heartbreaking when I think about it. You know, I had a brother-in-law who passed away in a car accident. There's certain things like that. I guess I'm trying to work through what it is in these movies that really hits me. I think overall, it's the tragedy of it. It's like a life cut short. But the idea of sacrifice is it comes back to, well, it's not sacrificial if you have nothing to give up you know like if you're somebody who like the whole I don't have a wife and kids I'll save you you know what I mean like that doesn't mean as much as somebody saving themselves for their child or somebody a toaster who spent the entire movie

looking for their master and they find him and then it's more important for him to save him than it is for him to continue living on himself you know I got to say this the start of this I was like okay maybe this will be the biggest joke-heavy podcast we've done and this is I can do that I can be insincere if you please for the love of God Ryan now let's keep it sincere instead let's keep let's talk religion politics I love seeing this side of you because I think we're gonna I feel like in your videos we get these doses where you can see a lot of the the great I would say the appreciation of the text actually I noticed like the way you articulate the way you use vocabulary. It's very obvious you are a well-spoken, well-read individual. Actually, to

that fact, what was the books that you actually grew up on? Because you are an, you author, don't you? I have written a book. It's not published. I've written, I mean, a couple little things too. But who were my guys? I read a lot of Stephen King when I was a teenager. I had a teacher who gave us a Stephen King book to recall Eyes the Dragon and I got bit by the bug. When I was a little kid, I loved peanuts, loved comics, just devoured comics. Still do. this day. In fact, right now, that's pretty much what I read. I also got super into Star Wars novels. And to this day, I'm usually recreationally find myself just reading things for work, trying to get caught up on the High Republic. I just reread for fun, a comic series called Preacher

by Garth, Dennis and Steve Gellon. I read it through a couple of times. It's amazing. I just wondered how it held up, and it held up amazingly. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 24. 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits. All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel. Then you can keep fueling up on other things like adventure, memories, vacations, daycations, quality time, and so many other possibilities. Head to your nearest Chevron station to fuel up and get rewarded today. Terms apply. See Chevron Texcorewards.com for more details.

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Visit your local Sierra store today. And other authors that really spoke to me. My favorite book is Charlotte's Web. like I said, and then before the movie even came out, Queens Gambit's one of the best books I've ever read. I love Walter Tevis. He's one of my favorite authors. And he wrote another book called Mockingbird that I think is going to be adapted soon. And it's going to be a great one if they do it right. Because that book especially, it's about a future where people don't read. They don't have to read because everything's pictures and they have buses that just take you everywhere.

And the human race is slowly dying out. But then one teacher teaches himself how to read. And it starts this whole journey of self-discovery and stuff. It's great book. What a meta book. You're reading a little you're reading text about how people aren't reading. That's so fascinating to me. Yeah, I think it was partially written. I mean, look, the author Walter Tebis, there's a documentary about him on PBS. He's just a really interesting guy. But he's also, he's an Ohio boy like me, who actually grew up near each other. And so there's like that connection to. Um, yeah, man. Like, oh, God, I've read a lot of books. I'm trying to think like my go-toes. I didn't super get into sci-fi until later. I read a lot of alternate history. And then I happened to read a short

story collection. I was a nerd who would like would just take the books off the shelf into teachers' classrooms at the end of the summer and say, kind of, at the beginning of the summer, say, can I borrow this? And then I got into Asimov and I read like the foundation and all that stuff. In Ohio, do you have a community, when you were growing up, did you have like a community of, of nerd friends or geek friends or film friends at all? Were you kind of a little bit isolated? I was isolated. I had one really good friend who read comics that we had like another guy or two in my class, but this guy's still my best friend to this day. We always tried to get to Comic-Con. One year we were going to go in 1999. We ended up not going because a buddy of ours, like his girl, his fiancee had just left him. She just left him because he was going to the strip club too much. So instead of going to Chicago to Wizard World, we went to go visit him. And then he took us to the strip club. And that was my first. And that was that was, that was my first. my first and half the times I've ever been to a strip club. And I remember, like, you know, we're the guys who don't drink.

I think we were 19 and had no money to spend on anything and wouldn't have spent. Sure. And then my, like, the oldest stripper in the place came up to me and just chatted. And she's like, so can I have a tip? And I was like, I don't have any. I was like, I just got a 10. And she pulled out of purse and said, I can make change. So I was like making change with this older stripper for making small talk.

It was a very surreal experience. So, yeah, I had one friend who I was like a really into that stuff. I had like a small core group of friends. I had another friend who didn't necessarily read comics but love Star Wars. And he was the first person I knew who had the Internet. His family had web TV. So I remember going to his house and like us like looking up Star Wars news on web TV because the prequels were getting made and looking up rumors and stuff.

Very, very proto to what I do now. And then when I got into school, I had, of course, had friends who were super into film who like introduced me to sites like Ain't It Cool and stuff like that. Um, got more into the film appreciation side. But, you know, especially my senior year, I really hit my stride. Like, we grabbed a camera. I wrote a screenplay, made a film with my friends. And, you know, a lot of us are still friends to this day.

That's cool. Yeah. I'm curious then when it comes to growing up a little bit more on the ice side. So I have like a close friend. And now you are essentially like the online leader presence of a big company that is a representative of such a big fandom. There's so many voices involved. Has that lonely side ever, has that been filled, you think, that void of not really having that community? Or is that community now been filled with it?

Or do you still feel like there's a bit of a distance considering that it's online? It's online. No, it's pretty lonely. I mean, I don't have time usually to read comments. I love going on the Screen Crush Discord server. It is so much fun. But it's pretty rare that I do that. I have 10 to 9 to send my thumb, so I can't do shit on my phone.

So it has to be like on a keyboard And normally when I'm done with work It's time to walk dog It's time to do things around the house Christmas decorations So I do feel a lot there But when we do our live shows My favorite thing about the live show

Is just talking to people You know like we had one person Who came up to meet one of the shows after He was in the meet and greet line And then he stuck around him and his wife And I could tell you wanted to say something And then he just came out He was like and he kind of

I'm not going to say what he said But it was very emotional And talked about how much the channel meant And I just gave him the biggest hug. And it was really cool hearing that kind of thing. It's beautiful. You know, I could show you the room where we film in. It's a small room.

There's a camera. You know, it's very isolated. I mean, post-COVID, we don't have an office. It's just, you know, an extra room. So, no, I still feel that isolation. But I know that there's a lot of people out there. I can always go on the Internet and talk to, but like the physical isolation.

That's why I like doing the live shows and ComicCon. things like that. When you were talking earlier about this trajectory of really identifying with Luke Skywalker to where he is by the point of like The Last Jedi, have you found that with fandom, you know, because you have a certain kind of image. I imagine you have a certain kind of perspective of these comic properties, these fandoms, these worlds, this lore. And then when you get into it with the job that you have now, is that would you identify in that regard of like, oh, this is not how I thought it would be? Like, what would you tell you? younger self about like how the Star Wars fandom is now or do you have the same type of gusto

and appreciation for it? I don't really let I mean I don't pay attention to it man like as far as like negative fandom and on Star Wars especially I just know there's certain people who have worked out a profit model to make up their mind before anything ever happens and I and I guess a lot of people identify with them and so they go to get hit to spend time in their echo chamber boys have been doing that forever. I mean, it's the same thing as a bowling league. I don't care. Like, I really don't. I got to ask this question at the live show the other day. And I was like, I just don't, there's no point in having conflict with them because their mind's made up. They don't care about discourse. They care about engagement. And I think that's just, if you could like personify the internet and

to think that's wrong with it, it's that aspect of Star Wars fandom. But Star Wars fandom is always going to be like that because it's always going to be personal. The MCU will never be as personal to people. Star Wars is personal because of the toys. It's personal because of the gaps. It's personal because so much of it was left intentionally vague and not filled in, right? So we were invited to fill those gaps in ourselves and to take it personally because we saw it as children.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe, however, is an adaptation of stories that have already existed. So the way that somebody feels about, say, Tachala through Chadwick Bozeman's performance is completely different from how I feel about Tichala as somebody who read the Christopher Priest comics in college. You know what I mean? So that, for me, is never going to quite, I mean, you've even seen it. Look how fast people have abandoned the MCU, right? I don't think people would wholesale abandon Star Wars like that.

If the prequels couldn't do it, I don't know what could. You know what I mean? Like, they may not watch Skeleton Crew right away, but they're always going to love Star Wars. Star Wars, though, I think, is becoming more like the WWE, where WWE fans love wrestling, but they hate the WWE. They are proud to root for like Rudy like cheer against Vince McMahon and hate him in the same way

that a lot of Star Wars fans rail on Disney Star Wars When in fact Disney Star Wars Didn't really I mean When we talk about Disney Star Wars right There's Lucas Film and then there's Disney Lucas film I'm way off topic here

Lucas film are people who love Star Wars and know what they're doing Disney are people who say we'll put Chewbac in it We want it to be more like the original trilogy We need to bump up Disney Plus, make that Obi-1 thing. Like, those are the people who canceled the acolyte before it should have been canceled, you know? Sure. They don't see stories.

They see balance sheets. So, yeah, no, I wouldn't change anything. I'd say, you know, go on this journey yourself, young man, and discover how awful fans are. That's actually a beautiful answer. That's actually very profound. I really appreciate that a lot. Earlier you listed, there's, I don't really have, like, as an interviewer, I've noticed, because my mind, I have, I'm diagnosed with ADHD as well. And my mind just kind of zigzags to like, oh, I just remember this.

So I noticed, I say something for somebody with ADHD, you do a great job of listening. Because a lot of the time when I'm listening to people, it's not that I think they're boring. It's because I've worked out what they're going to say already. And I can't be bothered to like a slow talker for me where I'm like, I have worked this shit out five minutes ago. Could you please? It's not that I want to talk even. It's just that I want to do anything else right now except rewatch this movie. I've seen play out in my head several times.

So for me, I've had to struggle with not finishing people's sentences for them. Like, it's a great thing about being married because I think I've got it. And I don't want them to waste time finishing their sentence when they can move on to the next thought. You know, it's almost like you want to be like those species in Star Trek that are binary, like that's two people with the same mind. That's almost like how I wish everybody would talk to me. So yeah, you're doing great. Just so real. and I completely completely didn't know where you're coming.

Yeah. There's never heard it pointed out like that. Thank you for that. I'm going to need that. I needed that. It's probably where the loneliness comes from, too. There's probably a bit of narcissistic disorder in there, too. Like, that's tied into ADHD.

It can't happen. Yeah. The thing about narcissistic disorder is, I don't think I have it, but I think if you have ADHD, you automatically have a touch of it. Everybody's like, oh, narcissists are assholes. And don't get me wrong, they are. But it's not like they want to be. like that like you got to think of it like you're in a prison and your mind like you're this is a

prison and you have to really struggle to see somebody so i even feel for the narcissist when it comes that kind of thing well what i'm joining about this talk with you right now if i'm going to step out of it i was listening to this talk the other day that really stood out to me this one little section that was talking about what charisma is often encapsulated in and a lot people when they hear charisma some people have their own definition of what it can mean right it could be you're just smiling or charming, whatever, but they broke it down into two categories, which was called competence and warmth. And usually the most charismatic people tend to have a solid hybrid of both. And what I'm really loving about this discussion with you is I feel like on screen crush, it's not like

you're not warm. You just primarily display your competence. And I feel like we've gotten a lot of your warmth in this particular talk. Also, I should probably be warmer on screen crush is what I'm here. I should be warmer on real reach, honestly. Yeah, exactly. That's what we're getting. No, I do struggle, like, because, you know, I'm usually reading from a script, right? Sure, sure. So it is hard sometimes, especially if I didn't write the script to come across, like, you know, people like Charlie Schneider, I don't think Charlie scripts anything. I think, I've never asked him, actually.

Emergency awesome, right? Yeah, emergency awesome. You know, love him. I think, it seems to me like he reads off an outline. So he's very much, like, confident and goes through. And I could probably do that, but it'd be harder to edit. Sure. So it is hard sometimes to just.

just kind of sit down in a conversational way and do this because also it rambles. You know, you'll go here and it's not as tight. And sometimes you just want that tight 15 minute take on skeleton crew. Yeah, especially when you have to deal with editing and watch time and all that, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Who is a performative aspect to you, though. There's obviously a lot of the writing and intellectual side comes out of you. Who were like the performers that were you inspired by?

You even talked earlier about being like inspired by stand-up comedians. you've done stand-up comedy. Was there a particular performer who you're like, ooh, I really vibe with this guy. When I was a kid, Eddie Murphy, because he did the voices and stuff. I saw he was hilarious. Later on, Steve Martin.

And then I watched an Andy Kaufman special in 1997 that just changed me. Like, that was, like, seeing how somebody could do something so weird. But it made me laugh. And I got that everybody wouldn't get it. And then when I did stand-up, he was my primary influence. Because my whole thing was. if you're not laughing, you're wrong. And it was not a good opinion for comedy.

But it did influence a lot of the bits that I created. So I would say he was definitely a performer for me, early days of like interest in stand-up. And then the kids in the hall, as far as being a sketch writer, I think I like their stuff more than anyone else's. I would say they're very much like Key and Peel. I've never heard Key and Peel mention kids in the hall,

but I think that their sketches, they all kind of have the same surrealist aspect to it. Fascinating. Yeah, I would compare the two. I mean, not every kid's in the hall sketch. I didn't love everything they did, but a lot of it aged. It was the 80s.

Other performers that influenced me, Paul from Heavy Spoilers, of course. Of course. Great influence. As far as in the YouTube space, I mean, I've watched a million film videos. Shout out new rock stars and shout out Charlie and Mr.

Sunday movies. And I remember watching Philadelphia's breakdown of Force Awakens, which I couldn't find the other day, actually, when I was looking for it. But they, you know, that too, I was like, wow, there's so much depth in this, you know. And God, so many other channels don't even belated media, you know, like there's so many great ones out there. Patrick Willems, like I was a fan of Patrick's before I met him and did this stuff professionally. So a lot of that, like you kind of take aspects of what other people do and you use it for, it's like handwriting. You know, you copy it exactly, and then you develop your own style and bring a talking dog onto the show and stuff like that. Fascinating.

Yeah. Were your parents at all into, did you bond with them with movies or shows? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, whole family. Yeah, we loved movies. My dad, like, that's the one thing. We, except was it as into sports as he was, my dad and I really bonded over movies. Like when he would pick me up, you know, my parents divorced, when he would pick me up for the weekend,

the first place we would go when we got to the town where he lived was go to the video store. like stacks of movies all weekend yeah yeah definitely uh my mom too like my mom is when he got me into star trek and star wars and love sci-fi no way she was like the the nerd yeah yeah yeah she loved batman when she was a kid um my brother was the one who collected my brother had a variety of interest still does everything from you know he was mostly an athlete but he loved theater like broadway shows he loved uh baseball cards he collected those but he also collected comics and you know in video games that was always part of it too um so yeah and then my sister is like the movie person her favorite movie is the goonies she and my mom actually took a

road trip to a story at oregon and went to where they shot it uh she's a producer some kind of producer she donated money to a goonies documentary like that's how enthusiastic she is about it but she's always been the person who like she worked in a video store i never actually worked in a video store my sister did you know i worked in a movie theater for a little bit um yeah i know a whole family great, great, great love of movies. Is there a particular film that you would say that when you watch it, you immediately think of your parents or one of them? Oh, that's a really good question.

The planes trains and automobiles is tied to a pretty specific memory. I remember us renting that on VHS, but also renting the VCR. You rented a VCR back then? Yeah, you had to. They were too expensive back in the day. So you could rent them from the library, but they were hard to get a hold of. But then they would come in like suitcases. You know, the word like the suitcase was the casing for it with the handle and stuff.

But I remember watching that with the family. If you want, I'll give you a good childhood memory of a movie, though. It's got nothing to do with my parents. But I remember my brother and sister, like I said, they were older. They would usually have people sleep over, which is funny because we live in a two-bedroom trailer. So one time I remember they had all these other kids over. It might not been that many, but it feels like a lot. And we were watching Stand By Me.

And this hasn't happened very many times. I think it's maybe happened one other time in my life. I watched the movie and then when it was over I looked around and everyone was asleep and I never noticed. Like I was able to hyper, it's ADHD. I was able to hyper

focus on the movie so much and I wish I still had that ability. Like it's so rare for me to find anything where it's, it was literally like time travel. So that was another great movie that we all like bonded over and associated with. Do you think your perspective of society in the world

wasn't, because obviously you read a lot, but do you feel like movies and shows perhaps expanded your perspective of culture outside of where you grew up? Yeah, yeah, it was the escape, for sure. Like, it goes back to the escapism of, you know, the country boy like Luke Skywalker looking at the, I mean, I have a model that's up there. But I, my favorite moment in Star Wars is Luke looking at the binary sunset. I think that expresses that moment is why Star Wars is personal to people, because it's not a guy who's shooting lasers and stuff like that. It's a kid with a dream.

And that's when we kind of like, we imprinted on Luke in that moment, like Jacob imprinting on baby Nessa and Twilight. That's, I wish I wouldn't have fumbled that, but that's a very good analogy. So, yeah, that in particular was something that I always, there were always escape as for me.

I remember, like, he is so weird to live in New York City and to grow up seeing New York City in movies. And I remember, like, how far away. it felt. You know, the first time you come here as a kid, I was 19, but I was still, like, first time you see the ocean, you know, because I also didn't see the ocean until I was a teenager. It's so mind-boggling that you're seeing it and how in some ways smaller and some ways bigger, you know, than you ever thought it could be. Yeah. So, yeah, definitely escapeism was always a big part of movies and TV shows for me. I definitely have that with you

when it comes to New York. Like, I'm actually going to go there in a couple weeks. See, oh, no, I'll be, I want to be here. And I'm going with my wife. She's never been. I would wish I was here. Damn it. I wish everyone I know who lives in New York is not going to be in New York when I'm in New York every single time.

I could give you some recommendations, though, if you want. Like, I could probably think of a couple things worth doing. I love it. The thing you said earlier was Stephen King. Yeah, you read his books growing up, but I don't really hear you talk too much about horror in your work. Well, I know, I never, like, I know Stephen King is known as a. horror writer.

That's not why I read his books. I mean, his books are also very fantasy and science fiction. Like, uh, needful things, uh, the stand, right? I mean, I've read that book three times. Um, it's that horror book. It's mystical. It's magical, but it's not, it's about people. But do you like horror?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. I'm not a big expert in it. Uh, we do have one writer on the channel, uh, Brianna McClarty, who is a massive horror fan. And I really want us to start doing it. Because now, like, we've got. this script she's got, I don't think she's written it yet, but it's about, you know, this kind of many Renaissance horror is in right now. And I just don't, I don't see a lot of movies, man. You'd be surprised, like, the shocking, small, shockingly small amount of movies I

actually get to see. Like, when Oscar season starts, I'll really try to go all in and see as much stuff as possible, but I still haven't seen Wild Robot, haven't seen Gladiator 2, haven't seen Alien Romulus. It's ridiculous. how little time I have. But I imagine a lot gets spoiled for you. Yes and no. I mean, even if I record a video on something,

it doesn't mean that I'm necessarily going to retain everything that I say. You know, you can tell you, like, you mentioned the videos is performative. And yeah, you've read from a teleprompter. It really is like Ron Burgundy,

you know, fuck yourself, San Diego. Like, you could probably put a lot of things in front of me like that, like, or the number of times I have just blown through Japanese names and hoped I got it right,

knowing I'd come back and do a pickup, like that kind of thing too. But pronunciation at me. I love hearing these aspects, again, because as much as, as long as we've known each other, there's so much about you. I didn't even know that you had a brother and sister until this conversation. So, like, there's still so much. I'm like, oh, man, there's so many things I still haven't, like, asked you about. So it's fun, like, tying it into movies and uncovering this piece of information here.

There are certain questions. I'm like, oh, I would love to hear Ryan's answer on this because I love the introspection that you actually bring to it. What would you say is the last movie that you watched? that you just could not stop thinking about it after you watched it. I thought for me this year it might be Furiosa. It didn't quite gestate as long as I hoped it would. Like the Dark Night is a great example of like one that I just thought about and still think about to this day.

Not a movie, but I think about the Watchman TV series all the time. Really? Why? Yeah. I just layered. I mean, there's so much to that. I think not just about our culture and racism and politics, but also just about the nature of superhero stories.

like even just the idea that in that universe the cops wear a mask really made me say gee what does it mean to wear a mask like when superheroes wear a mask yeah since the 40s or 30s it's had a really practical application so they can have two lives to protect their loved ones protect other identity yeah exactly you know the Punisher has no loved ones so he wears no mask you know Superman cartkins the mask which I actually is It isn't really true anymore, but it used to be. In the watchmen, when the cops wear a mask, it's for the same reason. It's granting them anonymity so their loved ones don't get attacked. But then you also think it removes accountability. And they're really careful in the first scene in that to show that there are a lot of procedures. It's a very liberal government. There are a lot of procedures if you even want to pull a gun on a traffic stop.

But on the other hand, they're also able to go into a trailer park and beat the hell out of people who are neo-Nazis. Then there's a line that Adrian Bight has in it where he says, masks make men cruel because of that anonymity that it grants you. And I think that speaks to accountability in the sense of being a part of a community. Like if you want to be accepted by people,

you will obey certain societal norms. You will, you know, and everybody's got different levels of that. I'm the kind of person who not only returns my shopping cart, but I'll pick up strays along the way. Not everybody's like that, and I've come to accept that. That's a big part of counseling. I think that in terms of wearing a mask, you know, it also gives you permission to be beyond those norms in the same way that you could say being a public official or a politician

or wearing a badge could make the worst of us have those same impulses. And that's what the watchman was really getting at in that last monologue. She's brilliant. And then, like, her great grandfather has this line where he says, you can't heal without sunlight. You can't heal under a mask. And then you get into the whole idea of, like, well, as a society, you know, you can say that, like, post-Watergate and Vietnam War, Jimmy Carter was a president who was really trying to be honest with people and say, hey, this is hard. Conservation is important. We have to conserve energy.

And then in the 80s, Reagan came along and was very much like, you're Americans. You're the best. Don't worry about any of that stuff. and we always prefer to wear the mask. We always prefer to put on this idea of the person we want to be rather than maybe doing the work about who we actually are and figuring out to fix ourselves, both as a nation and as an individual. That's a really strong point, really strong point.

The idea of a mask in, I mean, I think of like the masks, like we all wear masks, but the idea of actually wearing a mask everywhere we go, even when it comes to me and presenting ourselves here, like on camera, We're going to be doing a talk. Like before we were doing this, I was having undoubtedly one of the most stressed out days I've had in a very long time. I had a thing where I was like sending a voice message to one of the teams here. And I was pissed. And I was like, don't send.

Like I was setting a voice out. I was like, no. This is just going to backfire. You're just angry. You need to like not do it. And I'm like, oh, I'm late for my talk with Ryan. And having to find, like, a genuine point where you can find that genuine smile, find that genuine happiness. And I feel, I know it's like what you were talking about at all, but in some regard, like, the idea of wearing a mask and not presenting that mask, not not, it's the struggle that I've been having is like, oh, you know, I really want to be able to just kind of be myself and not feel like I got to hide.

Sometimes you've got to be a professional, you know, all these things. And that's been the interesting journey because I feel like, especially with the platform we're on, on the topic of Massa Sykes, I think I'm more gravitated towards sincerity and being genuine as much as possible. So sometimes I do just want to come on camera and be like, you know, I'm like pretty pissed off today.

Well, but, you know, you talk about being pissed off as being like real and anger is not like any, it's not a real emotion. It's a secondary emotion. Secondary emotion. That's a reaction to, other things, right? So if you're pissed off... Usually it's a sense of loss or hurt. Yeah, it's usually Yeah, or betrayal. I mean, even like if you find out somebody lied to you, a lie is a harsh

reconciliation with the truth. Like, that's what a betrayal is, you know? So I always just try to focus on what's actually pissing me off. That being said, for years, I had the worst temper. I just had the worst temper, especially like when I was younger and I just worked on it a lot. Even now, I'll get pissed off. But I, God, I cannot remember the last time. I actually hit send on one of those messages. Like it's usually everything I do now is like very carefully considered and calculated. Yeah.

Yeah, I've once heard that most people when they're communicating, it's either coming down to two things. A sense of loss or a loving communication. And usually the sense of loss comes in the form of like hurt, you know, anger, all these other things. It's like it always comes down to that category. But with that in mind, has there ever been a character where in an emotional journey

I brought this up to Koi recently actually when I saw Inside Out 2 they actually flashed in my head this morning when I was getting really mad when I saw it. I don't know if you've seen Have you seen Inside Out 2? I have not. It deals with this character of anxiety

But I've seen every episode of Agatha all along twice That's what I mean Like I got to pick and choose man Got to pick and choose You should watch Inside Out 2 with your watch I did recently rewatch the I haven't watched the Ride Skywalk I was rewatching the sequel trilogy

and like for not for live stream but I ended up just like chatting our discord about it it was a lot of fun but no I haven't seen yet there's there is this moment with I won't ruin it there's this moment with anxiety

towards the end and I feel like just me saying that when you watch you're gonna be like this might be the moment Greg is talking about that has constantly stayed with me since I saw it

and I like reacted to this movie and it literally has just stayed with me and usually when I'm in the heat of an anxiety struggle which happened several times a week, I get this flash in my head of like, no, it's got to slow down, got to calm down, it's okay. And even though, so I actually got the lesson from, something I've heard my whole life,

obviously, I've been in therapy for like over a decade. So I've heard this lesson forever. Yet this, there's something about the visual, emotional connection with this one moment that has stuck with me since I saw the film. Have you had anything like that at all that has just kind of been a checkpoint or or based line for you in some capacity that reminds you of a certain type Yeah, I'm sure

I have. Need a second to think of it. I'll tell you there's a line I go back to a lot. Not really an emotional connection. Have you seen the movie Adaptation? Oh, yeah, yeah. I used to see a lot more movies than I do now, which is ironic. Weird, that's why I started doing movie reactions

because I was at the same problem. Yeah. Well, anyways, adaptation. The line in it where Chris Cooper is describing how into fish he was. He's like, I used to go in the ocean get fish all the time, had aquariums everywhere.

And then one day, fuck fish. And she's like, that's it. No more fish? He said, fuck fish. And I've not once since then stepped foot in that ocean. That's how much fuck fish.

So that's how much fuck fish has been like one of my go-to phrases for just like, we have irreconcilable differences and I would never care about this again. Like, for instance, Palpatine is your grandfather. That's how much fuck fish.

Like, that was a huge checkout moment for me. Not with Star Wars. Yeah. Not just with that movie, but with like everything they were doing, I was like, oh, we just did a video on this, but I was like, yeah, you're making this up. It's like in the 90s, there was this thing called the Clone Saga.

Did you read comics? Do you know the Clone Saga? The Spider-Rammer? yeah yeah i didn't read it from getting in i'm i gotta i got a sure sure but i was there man like you wouldn't last a day in the asylum where they raised me yeah so just to give you you know you fake nerds i do please i barely have a recollection oh you fake nerds who didn't read this spider man storyline for two years in the 90s uh like i bought every issue of it right because i was like oh my god look what's happening

to spider man right and the whole thing was his close shows up that was dead years ago and then it's like it dragged on for a long time and spider man was going to this really dark place and then his clone became a superhero too and then like aunt may dies actually that was that was really said there's this moment in that issue where aunt may dies where they're up on the top of the empire state building she is like she's got cancer or something and she suddenly says to him peter what's it like and she says what do you mean she said to swim to swing through the sky like like you do and how could i not know that you were spider man and I'm so proud of you are so good.

That's a comic book that'll make you cry, man. Amazing Spider-Man 400, David McElaney, Mark Bagley. And I talked to Mark Bagley about it, and he's like, yeah, I don't remember that. Oh. Well, it was a million. The guy drew like 85 issues,

like 100 issues of Spider-Man. So anyways. What a response. I know. I was like, hey, I don't even think it was in the, I don't think I was recording. I was just telling him like how much this meant to me.

Anyways, with the Clone Saga, right? I realized at a certain point oh they're just making this shit up like it was just dragging on too long and then right after not too soon after they brought Aunt May back because it turns out that wasn't Aunt May it was an actress that Norman Osborne

hired to pretend to be Aunt May because Norman Osborne's actually been alive for 20 years and it turns out because there was this whole thing where Spider-Man's clone was the real Spider-Man and Spider-Man when it was a fake and it just all undid it and I was like oh yeah I guess you're not reporting on what's happening to Spider-Man.

Like, this isn't, there's no plan here. You know what I mean? It's what I imagine, like, a lapsed Catholic would go through it. Yeah. Yeah. I've never had that kind of crisis of faith, though. Dude, I really appreciated this conversation.

Me too, man. This was a conversation that I feel like I needed today. And so I appreciate the gift of your time, honestly. I wish I could stay longer. Or a Boris. All right, buddy. I'll talk with you soon, man. Talk to you soon, Greg.

Thanks so much for having me. course, man. Bye.