Inside the Mind of Ryan Arey (ScreenCrush): Lessons from Superman, Star Wars, Loneliness, & Fandom
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01:14pop up like it's hot, pop up like inside.Pick your favorite template, you can tailor it to your brand.They're MailChimp-A-Rific, you're gonna be a fan.MailChimp your marketing,with our new customizable pop-ups.Today, I am joined by my brother-in-armsagainst the great heavy spoilers.Ryan Airy from Screen Crush.
01:36Ryan, I only have you for a limited timebecause you've got some things to tend to.Making me feel terrible about it.No, no.Growing up, who was your celebrity crush and why?I was like a little kid, but I was like,ooh, girls are pretty.You know, I kind of had that mindset with it.
01:54What character would you say that you most identify with?I always felt really lonely as a kid.So Luke Skywalker has that aspect as well.What is the kind of thing in a movie that tends to make you cry the most?For me, I think it's sacrifice.It's somebody giving all of themselves to someone else simply because it's the right thing to do.I got to say, the start of this, I was like, okay, maybe this will be the biggest joke-heavy podcast we've done.I can do that.
02:16I can be insincere if you want.Please, for the love of God, Ryan.Well, hello there, citizens of the reject nation.Welcome to another episode of Diary of a Real Reject.Today I am joined by my brother in arms against the great heavy spoilers.Ryan Airy from Screen Crush, who's actually a really great guy.Ryan, I only have you for a limited time list than all the other guests we've ever had because you've got some things to tend to.Well, wait, how long do the other guest stay for? I feel bad now.
02:48They've been here for like an hour and a half, two hours.They're usually like, I don't want to leave, Greg.I want to stay. Normally that would be my case, but man, with the holidays, I got, I got things to break down, my friend. Like, it is Easter egg season out there right now.What show are we joining Ryan Airy for at in Los Angeles?We're doing a live show. I believe it's on January 12th, but you can just search Screen Crush live show on Google. I don't know the address, but you'll find it today with X1 Entertainment. That's us. And yeah, we're really looking forward to it. We've got some really cool stuff planned. We're going to do exclusive breakdowns. I'm going to rope this guy into reacting to some stuff.I hope. I haven't even asked him yet. I'm asking him now. It's going to be a lot of fun. Come on out. I can't wait to meet you guys. I love your hosting voice. You got that switch. You know that you're mom. You have Dulcet Toads, my friend. I like that we also each have disc plates behind us. I don't know if you've caught onto that. But yeah, these are the textured ones, you know? Yeah, yeah. I love them. I love your whole set. And I was talking with Ryan beforehand for like a second. And he was saying he's never seen an episode of this. So Ryan, here's how it works. On this. On this.show we talk about movies TV shows and possibly celebrities of how they have helped shape ouridentities so i'm not going to be maybe we talk about marvel and all the crap that people usually
04:04tune in for the great ryan airy for um but i want to give a really sincere thank you to ryan forbeing a really supportive guy um i remember when we had our one and only comic con panel thus farryan did go out of his way to attend with his wife and he was the only other personAt Comic-Con, who is a friend of mine who has a YouTube channel,who actually showed up to our event.It was great.They all missed out.No, you guys put on it.
04:31You just did a Q&A the whole time.It was amazing.You ran that shit.I appreciate it.We had you talk for a little bit, too, for like one second.And it just really means a lot that you actually showed up.I also wanted to use it as an opportunity to throw shade at everyone else who I knowwho was at Comic-Con and did not actually attend.
04:46Yeah.So many fake friends out there, unlike us.Unlike us.The real friends.Or the real deal.That sort of dedication.know is why I have to, why I have a harder out than your usual guest because I got to go catchanother panel with another friend on it. It keeps me really busy. So, yeah. Totally get it.
05:03Well, Ryan, here's my opening question that I tend to ask everyone. And I love how you haven'tseen any of these because this allows me to just have you going very fresh here. You're making mefeel terrible about it. No, no, watch our own videos anymore. This is more exciting to me.Ryan, growing up, who was your celebrity crush growing up and why?Um, my celebrity crush growing, uh, gosh, who would that have been? Um, I think probably the first celebrity crush I remember as a kid was Pamela Wells from, uh, Teen Wolf. Remember the, the whole thing with the dressing room and stuff? That was like the first time I remember. I was like a little kid, but I was like, oh, girls are pretty. You know, I kind of had that mindset with it. Pamela Wells from Teen Wolf. I want to look her up really quick. Yeah, the character's name is Pamela Wells. She was the character like the blonde woman that like the teen that flirts with the teen wolf and stuff, but she only loves him because he's a wolf and not for the real him.Like that person.Oh, my goodness.As far as like another crush that I had,
05:58Bell from Beauty and the Beast.Nah.I mean, it could be.It could be.Yeah.Yeah, yeah.That's a good one.Jeez, man.
06:08That put me on the spot more than like I was expecting favorite movie,favorite TV show.Yeah, not this show, not this show, man.That's a good question.No, no, no.It's a good question.I'm not trying to duck it.Believe me.
06:19My crush from child.What are we talking like?teenage years or just like as a kid okay i'll give you an example for me um which is weird because noi've asked this question to like a few people now and no one's actually ever asked me back so i'm justgoing to use it as opportunity to insert my little answer here which is um nev campbell from screamundoubtedly she was my favorite that's a great one and maybe i had like a uh like hero saviorcomplex i think where like it was weird like growing up i'm like oh i want to protect her i wantSaver. Then I found that like everyone I was attracted to kind of resembled the pale sadness of Neff Campbell in that movie. Then when I got older, I realized this right. I mean, if you're going to go with the Neve Campbell movie, what about Denise Richards from Wild Things? Okay. Yeah, or Denise Richards from Starship Troopers or Denise Richards from James, or literally anything Denise Richards has ever had. You can't really go wrong with that answer. That's true. Well, what I'm curious of going to, though, is like you immediately answered Pamela Wells. Her name's Lori Griffin, I see here.
07:18That's it. Yeah. She wasn't in very much, though, I don't think.What do you think it was about her as a crush, though? Like, it took me a long time to realize the psychology behind.Oh, here's my podcast. What kind of podcast is this, Greg?This is a very in-depth personal. I found another podcast called Talking Movies recently that aims for the same thing. And I'm like, hell no, we're going to go way deeper than that.Okay. Okay. No, I don't know. Just because you said childhood. So I was trying to remember, like, as a child who it was that,was like, so I went back to, like, you know, the original person.I don't know that I would actually say, what was her name, Lori Griffin?Lori Griffin.
07:56Lurie Griffin, okay.Yeah.I don't know that I would say, I'm like, oh, what's her name?And I've got her poster, like, right over here.And, like, you know, I've, like, tracked her down the internet and I'm outside of her placewith some binoculars and I can see her from across the street.No, I don't know.Like, I wouldn't say anything about her.
08:11I just remember, like, because her whole thing in that movie is being, like, the sex pot thatScott has a crush on.So maybe that was it.maybe at a very young age, I was like, oh, that's the kind of girls you have crushes on, you know.Oh, wait for interesting.That was like the idea.It could have been that.I don't know, but she was like a typical cheerleader, a blonde cheerleader in an 80s movie kind of thing.
08:28That's fair.But as like, I don't know, if you look and go, well, when you were growing up, obviously when you're a teenager, you got a crush on anything that moves, which is why I wouldn't have even thought of Denise Richards and wild things until you said Neff Campbell.And I was like, well, I forgot to go there.Yeah.You could look at those movies.Or Bell for Mutting in the Beast.Or Bell from Beauty and the Beast, yeah.But it would have been weirder if I would have said Ariel before she's transformed.
08:55Like, let's just be clear.Bell from Beauty of the Beast is not the weirdest crust.We're looking for that honesty, though.We want that honesty.Yeah, yeah.I actually wouldn't meet you there.There's honesty, and then there's Fiona from Shrek, but like at the end of the movie, that's, you know, that's get into a whole other thing.You know, I was like Beverly Crusher, or not Beverly Crusher, Deanna Troy on team.
09:17G that was an early crush.Jerry Ryan, of course, on, you know, Voyager was always a crush.But like that, I was a little bit older, you know, when she joined the show.So I wouldn't call that a childhood.Because there's childhood crushes and then there's teen crushes.And teen crushes are very different and gross.Absolutely.So, yeah, I think as far as a childhood crush.
09:38You know the other thing, too, that I remember being like, what you remember Leah Thompson and back to the future?Of course, of course.Yeah, see, that was one too, where that was like, I remember.remember distinctly thinking, that's a pretty lady.Oh, were you attracted to your mom also?Hey, that's your mom.That's your mom.That joke in your videos, I fall for it every time.
10:00Well, we try.It never fails to miss me.And every time I'm like, by myself on the phone, like,son of a bitch got me again.It's always like that classic got me.We try to catch you off guard when you're pooping.That's really the trip to it.That's how I enjoy a good screen crush video.
10:14So let me ask you this, then.Let me ask you this.That's the best podcast thing to say,Let me ask you this.Let me ask you this.Okay.Let me ask you.Bring it in.
10:20So I did not actually get to know your wife that well, unfortunately.That is a thing that, like, kind of bothers me.Yeah.Yeah.Still a mystery to me, too.Still working on it.Yeah.We're working on that.
10:32Which movie character would you say, movie or TV show character would you say personality-wise best resembles her that you would most liking her too?Really, a lot like Lori Griffin as Pamela Wells in the movie Teen Wolf, just a second.here. Oh yeah, she is. She's rightoutside. I can see her right overthere. I knew that this would bethe least sincere one that I've done.Do you talk? I just do it.Yeah, no, I mean, I don't talk. I, you know, I keep
10:58like, my Instagram isprivate for a reason. Like, I don't really talk aboutfamily stuff that much because my wife's, you know,not in the business, so I don't usuallytalk about her. But what was, butI'll tell you some nuggets because that's what we'redoing here today. What was the question again?The question was like, just that way there is
11:16bit of a healthy distance in terms of separation with not exposing who your wife really is.Which character would you say in movie or TV shows is the most like her? Just so I couldkind of have a better understanding of what our personality might be like. My wife is such anamazing person. And I know this sounds like a generic answer, but it's not. She really is thefunniest person I know, the most beautiful woman I know, the kindest person that I know.She just has such a warm heart, loves animals. I really have to just like, I could probablyjust stack up different Disney princessesand compare her to them.
11:49Like she loves books like Bell.She loves wolves likeLori Griffin from Teen Wolf.Griffith, Griffin. You said it was Griffin.No, she loves books like Bell.She's adventurous like Jasmine.She's curious like Ariel.Seriously, what she is?
12:06Like I did marry the ultimate Disney princess.She loves animals like, what's her name?Aurora from Sleeping Beauty.Dude, that is a, that is an amazing answer on us.Mm-hmm.Because, yeah, when I didn't get to talk to her too much, we were really busy.And one of the things that I really, I'm one of those individuals that if someone hasa significant other around, I tend to go out of my way to be like, I'm going to talk
12:29to the significant other.Because I think.Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they feel left out.Yeah, exactly.Yeah.It happens all the time.Can I ask a question and then about what were the early movies that you guys maybebonded over when you first started dating each other?
12:42Oh, that's a great question.Let me try to remember because we.met at a summer camp where you worked like 14 hour days so there weren't there wasn't much time towatch movies at the end of the day um i'll tell you a very early movie we saw together she lovespenguins my wife and we went to go see when i visited her a few months later after the camp endedin scotland i remember us going to see two movies that made a big impression on us one was um themupp the new muppet movie because you know that song in it um i've got everything that i needIs this the one with Jason Segal?
13:17Jason Segal.Yeah.That's how we felt about each other.Like that song was very much apt whenever we were around each other.And the other one was Happy Feet, too, which I think is the better Happy Feet movie.It's like, you know, it's like George Miller just made a movie for me.I think George Miller did that one.Hmm.
13:32Yeah, that was the one he did.Yeah.And then I remember her, like, there's a part where that little penguin is, like, huddled and everybody's made fun of them.She just leaned to me and went, I'm going to explode.because it was so adorable.And so we've always, like, loved those movies, too.And also, just from working in a summer camp,I made everybody watch Wet Hot American Summer
13:54as many times as possible.I love that movie.So I wouldn't say that we bonded over that,but I remember that was an early one that we watched together.We might have watched Kiss Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang.That might be the first one we watched together.I remember around that time seeing it for the first time,but I'm not sure.
14:09There, there's, I think, for guys like you and I,When it comes to the shared connect, especially for, I have a significant other who's not in the industry like us at all or has any aspirations whatsoever to be part of the industry.So finding those connective threads with film, I feel like is kind of integral in a relationship for us.And what I loved about your answers in particular is everyone knows you as part of like the nerddom, the geekdom, right?And you did not provide like the thing that you bonded over your wife with, which I'm sure you got some.probably bonded over some like...Oh, no, she loves Star Trek.She loves watching Marvel movies.
14:47Huge Twilight fan.I think you can count that in there, too.Yeah, she's got a lot.I mean, you know, certain Marvel thing she likes a lot.But, you know, there's other Star Wars things she hasn't seen yet.But I like the plethora that you provided.So I'm hopping all over the place here because it's my challenge of the short limited runtime here.I'm like, what are everything I have never asked Ryan Erie in person before?
15:09So when you were a kid...Well, you keep making me feel guilty.I thought it was.It would be an hour, and I was like, oh, okay, so I budgeted time for an hour.And I didn't pay attention to your messages when you explained the podcast because I didn't care because I was going to show up and be here for you no matter what.So, I don't know.Like, you know, I'm a people pleaser.That's part of what they've diagnosed me in therapy with, like people pleasing and ADHD.
15:32So the people pleasing thing, like I feel horribly guilty if I don't give my all, but then I don't give enough to anybody.That's kind of the time constraints I always find myself then.The other character I identify the most with, I've been rewatching the show again lately.In terms of a character, because of what you just said, it reminded me of, like, who I identify the most with.And that is Chandler from Friends, undoubtedly.I don't even know.Yeah.I don't even know if it was like the Orch.
15:57He was the one on Friends who I identified with.Like, Raphael was the Ninja Turtle I identified with when I was a kid.Because I wanted to be the class clown, you know?Okay.So was Raphael the, the character, the Ninja Turtle you identified with or the character you wanted to be?One of the same.I think when I was a kid, I especially had a class clown view of myself.Like, I was a pretty funny kid.
16:15I did voices, stuff like that.Loved watching stand-up comedy.We'd watch stand-up comedy routines and then come do them in front of my class.So I was gravitated toward performance and sketch and stand-up.Yeah, like anytime somebody had, like, we had Showtime and I would try to VCR, you know, like tape any comedian thing that came on there.Didn't get a lot of the jokes.Like, I didn't know what an Enema was.And that was pretty simple.
16:38Like, this one guy can pay.paired it to a water slide and I, you know, did the joke in front of my class and my teacherdidn't let on what an enema was. So there you go. It was like in fifth grade, I think. Yeah.So which character would you say that you most identify with, whether it be TV show or movie? Maybeeven in your present time. I'm sure this is a cliche answer, but it probably is Luke Skywalker.I can tell you exactly why, though. Okay. I grew up in a small town. And you know,it's funny when you watch these things, like I do think that a big part of the appealfor Superman and Luke Skywalker for me,
17:11which are my two favorites.You're an only child really quick?Sorry, real quick.You're an only child?No, I have brother and sister.You have a brother and sister, okay.Yeah, I'm the youngest.They, those characters, you know,
17:23they grew up in the country,and then they went off and did big things.And it's a standard, like, orphan boy, farmer,farm kid kind of fairy tale arc.I know that.But it works for a reason.So with Luke Skywalker,I always identified with that,
17:37like this bored life and feeling like youweren't going to go anywhere and there was no adventure and you know it's a good that you know in theoriginal cut of a new hope it had luke and his friends and all this kind of stuff i think it's goodthat they cut all that because it showed luke as somebody who was very alone and when i was a kidi'm the youngest of uh three my sister's eight years older than me my brother's six years olderthan me so there was a pretty sizable gap and i had a great brother and sister uh looked up tothem and still do to this day but they were teenagers when i was you know an eight sothey were always off doing other things or in the room with the door shut, you know, and their friends were in there. So I always felt left out. So I remember like Kermit's song, it's not easy being green, like this kind of melancholy. I like identified with that as a kid. I always felt really lonely as a kid. So Luke Skywalker has that aspect as well. And so does Superman where he really can never truly connect with anyone, even with Lois until he reveals his secret identity in the comics. But even then, there's always going to be a fundamental difference between them. So with Luke, you know,
18:39He goes off. He has his adventures, the real, the literally book by book hero's journey, the confrontation with the dad and that stuff, which I didn't necessarily relate to. But then the fact that like Luke's main opponent in those movies isn't the empire, it's himself. It's his own impatience, his own rage, his own lack of, I guess, emotional intelligence. I think as an adolescent, you can very much relate to that character.You know, and there's a certain point in adolescence when you realize that institutions aren't solid, that things don't matter like you, you know, you thought they did.So the moment when he finds out that Darth Vader is his dad, yeah, sure, it's about George Lucas and his dad, but it's also about kids learning, like, from Watergate and stuff like that, the system doesn't work for them.And I think individually, we all have that moment at some point in our lives.And honestly, in Last Jedi, I think that painted a portrait that's pretty accurate of what it's like when you get older.you know, you, we all start off with certain ideals about the world or you think that government works this way or that way. And then eventually, like Mark Hamill even said, you know, his generation was supposed to be the one that would change things and they're the ones who elected Trump, you know, like there's something to that that is unpleasant to look at, but is extremely accurate. And as somebody who's now in his 40s, I see it. You know, I do understand that like, you know, you do get older. You people who are your age.start to die or people who you, you know, you never thought would die, die, or people whoused to look up to reveal themselves to be horrible people. Like, the world changes and you're
20:17changing with it. And the last Jedi, you see that from Luke. So I continue to kind of identifywith that character, even at points when you wouldn't want to. That is awesome. Because I'veheard people say before, maybe not directly here, but, you know, just been talking when peopleare hearing other people talk, they usually say, yeah, I've heard the answer, Luke Skywalker. So when yousay cliche, sure, but the depth that you gave behind it, I was like, oh, this is more than justsome admiration or aspiration quality. The fact that it's extended into your present-day life,even to the portion of Luke Skywalker that is very much a divide when it comes to audiences,I actually find very compelling. I don't think Luke is somebody you would look up to. I mean,
20:57he ends up doing the right thing in return of the Jedi, but it's easy to gloss over exactlyhow far he was falling, right?At that moment when he was really given into rage,Superman is somebody you look up tobecause I got a great book here about Superman.I forget what it's called,but I think it's called the unauthorized biography.And with Superman, this book lays down
21:17two fundamental rules about him.One, he always does the right thing.Two, he never gives up.So those are two things.It's something to look up to.I think you can look up to that.Would you say that you have adopted anythingfrom Superman or Lewis,
21:32Skywalker or perhaps a different character where you first, you actually adopted a type of philosophy or a point of view or were inspired to go down that path based off of a character.A character.Like did a movie do it for you in some way?Probably more Mr. Rogers.I think that, you know, Ted Lassow is doing it right now.But before Ted Lassow, we had Fred Rogers.This guy who just approached the world with kindness at any cost, you know, like no matter what his default.setting was always kindness.
22:04And when I say Mr. Rogers, I don't know, I know there's a documentary about Fred Rogers,but I mean the character, Mr. Rogers.I think if you, I always try to think, and I don't ever succeed, but I always try to thinklike, okay, so what's the, how would I want to be treated in this situation?What's the right way and deal with it that way?Now that being said, sometimes when you're dealing with people, like especially a boss or abully or as a boss, or dealing with a bully or something, you can't be kind and you have to bestern and then you know people respect you for that doesn't happen very often but it's very true
22:35i actually didn't grow up on mr rogers i was late to the clips you missed out i think i thinkthat's a big problem with the internet generation like a lot of these kids didn't grow up with akindly old minister sitting down and playing with action figures with them for 30 minutes a dayyeah the documentary i saw that you were referencing and just bawling the entire time i started itand cried a good bit in the beginning,but I didn't make it all the way through yet.The Superman documentary, I'm pumped to see.I haven't had a chance yet.
23:06But yeah, when it came to Mr. Rogers,I actually see because I found myselfwanting to follow that influence a little bit more.And I tend to be very curious about that.I tend to ask, like, guys' questionbecause it's something that I feel,we should be able to talk a little bit more about.What is the kind of thing in a movie
23:25that tends to make you cry the most?For me, I notice it's kind of likethe actions of belief.in love.So that's why I miss something like a Mr.Rogers breaks me every time.Sacrifice usually gets me.Like I remember being a teenager and rewatching the brave little toaster in the moment
23:41when he jumps into the gears.I don't know if you've seen the brave little toaster.It's about sentient appliances who are trying to find their owner because they'dbeen left alone in a house for 20 years.And so they find this kid.And then the kid's going to die at this junkyard.Like it's, you know, Disney movie.So it's kind of weird how it ends.
23:59Is that a Disney movie?I think it is.But it was like straight to TV, like Disney Channel movie.And then, yeah, the brave little toaster leaps down and like dives in these gears.And, you know, it's like, it's like as brutal as seen dead E.T.And, yeah, that, I remember watching as a kid and crying.It's interesting, though, because usually when you cry, I think crying's amazing.I think crying is like this, you know, like I live in New York City.
24:23So there's a, they put these steam columns up to relief pressure all the time in the streets.That's what crying is for the human.brain crying and laughing. They're same part of the brain. That's why they kind of look the samesometimes and you can't tell which is which. So they're both release valve. One is the ultimateexpression of joy and the other is the ultimate expression of sorrow. But with crying, for me,it's always been this tension release valve. So you're always crying at something. So for instance,my favorite book is Charlotte's Web. At the end of Charlotte's Web, you know, Charlotte essentiallysacrifices her life for Wilbur the Pig. Like she spins a web.
24:59until she can't anymore and she gives him this lovely speech at the end about how he's going to go onand he's going to do things and he's going to see the spring and see the seasons change and that makesher happy. So just for me, I think it's sacrifice. It's somebody giving all of themselves to someoneelse simply because it's the right thing to do. Wow, that is a beautiful answer. What is it aboutsacrifice that particularly hits you? Because some people will get hit most by, like, I don't,weirdly, it depends on the situation usually, but I don't really get hit too much.character dies like i didn't really cry when like tony the first time i saw end game i actuallydidn't cry no i mean neither even though it is a sacrifice moment it's uh maybe it's the way edited
25:41or whatever but normally like a death doesn't really get me well it was it was such a badass deathyou know what i mean like i think a death like um god i mean there are just so many deaths in moviesthat just like ned stark's death you know it didn't make me cry either but like it just sucksto see that happen like it's a real heartbreaker umAlso, like, his death wasn't set up as a tragedy.It's set up as a triumph.And I think the really heartbreaking deaths are the ones where, you know,life is cut short, for example.
26:08Like, you could pick a random episode of six feet under and watch the intro and get more emotional from that.I think that you would a death like that, you know, or like Superman's death and Batman versus Superman.There's very little stakes because we always know they could come back.For me, it was more like Robert Downey Jr. is not going to be in these movies anymore because I know Iron Man continues.That being said, though, when Superman died in the comics in 90s,three, I had a, like when I heard there was going to be a new villain called Doomsday who wasgoing to kill Superman.Like, you know, comics are fictional, but I always sort of thought of comics as a story that
26:39was happening, but just like over there where Lori Griffin is at right now, um, the storiesthat are happening somewhere or that they're reporting on them.Like, it's a saga that's being reported on it.So for me hearing, oh, man, Superman's going to die.I was like 12 or 13 at the time.It was a big deal.I had dreams about Doomsday.Like I was in a city by myself and Doomsday was chasing me and nobody to
26:59save me. And then I read a letter in a comic book, like in the, you know, they used to put letterspages out. I think they still do. And somebody had had the same dream. And it's interesting that likea lot of the things that we think are so real. Like everybody, there's billions of people on the planet.Somebody else is going through that same thing. So yeah, as far as what the impetus for me to cryat certain things, I guess, or what it is about sacrifice. I didn't cry when I read that comic,which was Superman sacrificing himself. Maybe it comes back to a really. Maybe it comes back to areligious aspect because it you know like christ on the cross things like that um because you knowi'm not saying i'm i kind of rate was raised in church my mom wanted us to choose for ourselves
27:41and then i got pretty into church when i was in high school um but that being said i was alwaysreally analytical about it like i always thought why don't you guys like gay people who cares likethey're born that way like i always had that thought even in like my country church i never gotlike brainwashed by the dogma but um you know the death of jesus was a true sacrifice and that hecould have done so much more you know had he lived he could have done this and that but that's notwhat was important the important part was dying i've never really the whole like dying for oursins and a metaphysical change like in heaven i never really thought that was the point i thoughtthe point was just an example of showing sacrifice to others so maybe that's point
28:26part of it. It's the waste of potential of it. You know, I also, I had an uncle once who died ofalcoholism, and that's still heartbreaking when I think about it. You know, I had a brother-in-lawwho passed away in a car accident. There's certain things like that. I guess I'm trying to workthrough what it is in these movies that really hits me. I think overall, it's the tragedyof it. It's like a life cut short. But the idea of sacrifice is it comes back to, well, it's notsacrificial if you have nothing to give up you know like if you're somebody who like the wholeI don't have a wife and kids I'll save you you know what I mean like that doesn't mean as much assomebody saving themselves for their child or somebody a toaster who spent the entire movie
29:10looking for their master and they find him and then it's more important for him to save him than it isfor him to continue living on himself you know I got to say this the start of this I was like okaymaybe this will be the biggest joke-heavy podcast we've done and this is I can do that I canbe insincere if you please for the love of God Ryan now let's keep it sincere instead let's keeplet's talk religion politics I love seeing this side of you because I think we're gonna I feel likein your videos we get these doses where you can see a lot of the the great I would say theappreciation of the text actually I noticed like the way you articulate the way youuse vocabulary. It's very obvious you are a well-spoken, well-read individual. Actually, to
29:55that fact, what was the books that you actually grew up on? Because you are an, you author,don't you? I have written a book. It's not published. I've written, I mean, a couple little thingstoo. But who were my guys? I read a lot of Stephen King when I was a teenager. I had a teacherwho gave us a Stephen King book to recall Eyes the Dragon and I got bit by the bug. When I wasa little kid, I loved peanuts, loved comics, just devoured comics. Still do.this day. In fact, right now, that's pretty much what I read. I also got super into Star Warsnovels. And to this day, I'm usually recreationally find myself just reading things for work,trying to get caught up on the High Republic. I just reread for fun, a comic series called Preacher
30:35by Garth, Dennis and Steve Gellon. I read it through a couple of times. It's amazing. I just wonderedhow it held up, and it held up amazingly. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up onunbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 24.25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits.All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel.Then you can keep fueling up on other things like adventure, memories, vacations, daycations, quality time, and so many other possibilities.Head to your nearest Chevron station to fuel up and get rewarded today.Terms apply. See Chevron Texcorewards.com for more details.
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31:41Visit your local Sierra store today.And other authors that really spoke to me.My favorite book is Charlotte's Web.like I said, and then before the movie even came out, Queens Gambit's one of the best books I'veever read. I love Walter Tevis. He's one of my favorite authors. And he wrote another bookcalled Mockingbird that I think is going to be adapted soon. And it's going to be a great oneif they do it right. Because that book especially, it's about a future where people don't read.They don't have to read because everything's pictures and they have buses that just take you everywhere.
32:13And the human race is slowly dying out. But then one teacher teaches himself how to read. And itstarts this whole journey of self-discovery and stuff. It's great book. What a meta book. You're readinga little you're reading text about how people aren't reading. That's so fascinating to me. Yeah,I think it was partially written. I mean, look, the author Walter Tebis, there's a documentaryabout him on PBS. He's just a really interesting guy. But he's also, he's an Ohio boy like me,who actually grew up near each other. And so there's like that connection to. Um, yeah, man.Like, oh, God, I've read a lot of books. I'm trying to think like my go-toes. I didn't super get intosci-fi until later. I read a lot of alternate history. And then I happened to read a short
32:53story collection. I was a nerd who would like would just take the books off the shelf intoteachers' classrooms at the end of the summer and say, kind of, at the beginning of the summer,say, can I borrow this? And then I got into Asimov and I read like the foundation and all thatstuff. In Ohio, do you have a community, when you were growing up, did you have like a communityof, of nerd friends or geek friends or film friends at all? Were you kind of a little bit isolated?I was isolated. I had one really good friend who read comics that we had like another guy or two in my class, but this guy's still my best friend to this day. We always tried to get to Comic-Con. One year we were going to go in 1999. We ended up not going because a buddy of ours, like his girl, his fiancee had just left him. She just left him because he was going to the strip club too much. So instead of going to Chicago to Wizard World, we went to go visit him. And then he took us to the strip club. And that was my first. And that was that was, that was my first.my first and half the times I've ever been to a strip club.And I remember, like, you know, we're the guys who don't drink.
33:53I think we were 19 and had no money to spend on anything and wouldn't have spent.Sure.And then my, like, the oldest stripper in the place came up to me and just chatted.And she's like, so can I have a tip?And I was like, I don't have any.I was like, I just got a 10.And she pulled out of purse and said, I can make change.So I was like making change with this older stripper for making small talk.
34:16It was a very surreal experience.So, yeah, I had one friend who I was like a really into that stuff.I had like a small core group of friends.I had another friend who didn't necessarily read comics but love Star Wars.And he was the first person I knew who had the Internet.His family had web TV.So I remember going to his house and like us like looking up Star Wars news on web TVbecause the prequels were getting made and looking up rumors and stuff.
34:36Very, very proto to what I do now.And then when I got into school, I had, of course, had friends who were super into filmwho like introduced me to sites like Ain't It Cool and stuff like that.Um, got more into the film appreciation side.But, you know, especially my senior year, I really hit my stride.Like, we grabbed a camera.I wrote a screenplay, made a film with my friends.And, you know, a lot of us are still friends to this day.
34:59That's cool.Yeah.I'm curious then when it comes to growing up a little bit more on the ice side.So I have like a close friend.And now you are essentially like the online leader presence of a big company that is a representative of such a big fandom.There's so many voices involved.Has that lonely side ever, has that been filled, you think, that void of not really having that community?Or is that community now been filled with it?
35:25Or do you still feel like there's a bit of a distance considering that it's online?It's online.No, it's pretty lonely.I mean, I don't have time usually to read comments.I love going on the Screen Crush Discord server.It is so much fun.But it's pretty rare that I do that.I have 10 to 9 to send my thumb, so I can't do shit on my phone.
35:43So it has to be like on a keyboardAnd normally when I'm done with workIt's time to walk dogIt's time to do things around the houseChristmas decorationsSo I do feel a lot thereBut when we do our live showsMy favorite thing about the live show
35:58Is just talking to peopleYou know like we had one personWho came up to meet one of the shows afterHe was in the meet and greet lineAnd then he stuck around him and his wifeAnd I could tell you wanted to say somethingAnd then he just came outHe was like and he kind of
36:10I'm not going to say what he saidBut it was very emotionalAnd talked about how much the channel meantAnd I just gave him the biggest hug.And it was really cool hearing that kind of thing.It's beautiful.You know, I could show you the room where we film in.It's a small room.
36:22There's a camera.You know, it's very isolated.I mean, post-COVID, we don't have an office.It's just, you know, an extra room.So, no, I still feel that isolation.But I know that there's a lot of people out there.I can always go on the Internet and talk to,but like the physical isolation.
36:40That's why I like doing the live shows and ComicCon.things like that. When you were talking earlier about this trajectory of really identifyingwith Luke Skywalker to where he is by the point of like The Last Jedi, have you found thatwith fandom, you know, because you have a certain kind of image. I imagine you have a certainkind of perspective of these comic properties, these fandoms, these worlds, this lore. And then whenyou get into it with the job that you have now, is that would you identify in that regard of like,oh, this is not how I thought it would be? Like, what would you tell you?younger self about like how the Star Wars fandom is now or do you have the same type of gusto
37:18and appreciation for it? I don't really let I mean I don't pay attention to it man like as far aslike negative fandom and on Star Wars especially I just know there's certain people who have workedout a profit model to make up their mind before anything ever happens and I and I guess a lot of peopleidentify with them and so they go to get hit to spend time in their echo chamber boys have been doingthat forever. I mean, it's the same thing as a bowling league. I don't care. Like, I really don't.I got to ask this question at the live show the other day. And I was like, I just don't, there's nopoint in having conflict with them because their mind's made up. They don't care about discourse.They care about engagement. And I think that's just, if you could like personify the internet and
38:04to think that's wrong with it, it's that aspect of Star Wars fandom. But Star Wars fandom is alwaysgoing to be like that because it's always going to be personal. The MCU will never be as personal topeople.Star Wars is personal because of the toys.It's personal because of the gaps.It's personal because so much of it was left intentionally vague and not filled in, right?So we were invited to fill those gaps in ourselves and to take it personally becausewe saw it as children.
38:26The Marvel Cinematic Universe, however, is an adaptation of stories that have already existed.So the way that somebody feels about, say, Tachala through Chadwick Bozeman's performanceis completely different from how I feel about Tichala as somebody who read the ChristopherPriest comics in college.You know what I mean?So that, for me, is never going to quite, I mean, you've even seen it.Look how fast people have abandoned the MCU, right?I don't think people would wholesale abandon Star Wars like that.
38:54If the prequels couldn't do it, I don't know what could.You know what I mean?Like, they may not watch Skeleton Crew right away, but they're always going to love Star Wars.Star Wars, though, I think, is becoming more like the WWE,where WWE fans love wrestling, but they hate the WWE.They are proud to root forlike Rudy like cheer against Vince McMahonand hate him in the same way
39:15that a lot of Star Wars fans rail on Disney Star WarsWhen in factDisney Star WarsDidn't reallyI meanWhen we talk about Disney Star Wars rightThere's Lucas Film and then there's DisneyLucas film I'm way off topic here
39:29Lucas film are people who love Star Warsand know what they're doingDisney are people who say we'll put Chewbac in itWe want it to be more like the original trilogyWe need to bump up Disney Plus, make that Obi-1 thing.Like, those are the people who canceled the acolyte before it should have been canceled, you know?Sure.They don't see stories.
39:47They see balance sheets.So, yeah, no, I wouldn't change anything.I'd say, you know, go on this journey yourself, young man, and discover how awful fans are.That's actually a beautiful answer.That's actually very profound.I really appreciate that a lot.Earlier you listed, there's, I don't really have, like, as an interviewer, I've noticed, because my mind, I have, I'm diagnosed with ADHD as well.And my mind just kind of zigzags to like, oh, I just remember this.
40:11So I noticed, I say something for somebody with ADHD, you do a great job of listening.Because a lot of the time when I'm listening to people, it's not that I think they're boring.It's because I've worked out what they're going to say already.And I can't be bothered to like a slow talker for me where I'm like, I have worked this shit out five minutes ago.Could you please?It's not that I want to talk even.It's just that I want to do anything else right now except rewatch this movie.I've seen play out in my head several times.
40:38So for me, I've had to struggle with not finishing people's sentences for them.Like, it's a great thing about being married because I think I've got it.And I don't want them to waste time finishing their sentence when they can move on to the next thought.You know, it's almost like you want to be like those species in Star Trek that are binary, like that's two people with the same mind.That's almost like how I wish everybody would talk to me.So yeah, you're doing great.Just so real.and I completely completely didn't know where you're coming.
41:08Yeah.There's never heard it pointed out like that.Thank you for that.I'm going to need that.I needed that.It's probably where the loneliness comes from, too.There's probably a bit of narcissistic disorder in there, too.Like, that's tied into ADHD.
41:19It can't happen.Yeah.The thing about narcissistic disorder is, I don't think I have it,but I think if you have ADHD, you automatically have a touch of it.Everybody's like, oh, narcissists are assholes.And don't get me wrong, they are.But it's not like they want to be.like that like you got to think of it like you're in a prison and your mind like you're this is a
41:40prison and you have to really struggle to see somebody so i even feel for the narcissist when it comesthat kind of thing well what i'm joining about this talk with you right now if i'm going to step outof it i was listening to this talk the other day that really stood out to me this one little sectionthat was talking about what charisma is often encapsulated in and a lot people when they hear charismasome people have their own definition of what it can mean right it could be you're just smilingor charming, whatever, but they broke it down into two categories, which was called competence andwarmth. And usually the most charismatic people tend to have a solid hybrid of both. And what I'mreally loving about this discussion with you is I feel like on screen crush, it's not like
42:21you're not warm. You just primarily display your competence. And I feel like we've gotten a lot ofyour warmth in this particular talk. Also, I should probably be warmer on screen crush is what I'mhere. I should be warmer on real reach, honestly. Yeah, exactly.That's what we're getting.No, I do struggle, like, because, you know, I'm usually reading from a script, right?Sure, sure.So it is hard sometimes, especially if I didn't write the script to come across, like, you know, people like Charlie Schneider, I don't think Charlie scripts anything.I think, I've never asked him, actually.
42:49Emergency awesome, right?Yeah, emergency awesome.You know, love him.I think, it seems to me like he reads off an outline.So he's very much, like, confident and goes through.And I could probably do that, but it'd be harder to edit.Sure.So it is hard sometimes to just.
43:03just kind of sit down in a conversational way and do this because also it rambles.You know, you'll go here and it's not as tight.And sometimes you just want that tight 15 minute take on skeleton crew.Yeah, especially when you have to deal with editing and watch time and all that,et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.Who is a performative aspect to you, though.There's obviously a lot of the writing and intellectual side comes out of you.Who were like the performers that were you inspired by?
43:30You even talked earlier about being like inspired by stand-up comedians.you've done stand-up comedy.Was there a particular performer who you're like,ooh, I really vibe with this guy.When I was a kid, Eddie Murphy,because he did the voices and stuff.I saw he was hilarious.Later on, Steve Martin.
43:45And then I watched an Andy Kaufman special in 1997 that just changed me.Like, that was, like, seeing how somebody could do something so weird.But it made me laugh.And I got that everybody wouldn't get it.And then when I did stand-up, he was my primary influence.Because my whole thing was.if you're not laughing, you're wrong.And it was not a good opinion for comedy.
44:08But it did influence a lot of the bits that I created.So I would say he was definitely a performer for me,early days of like interest in stand-up.And then the kids in the hall,as far as being a sketch writer,I think I like their stuff more than anyone else's.I would say they're very much like Key and Peel.I've never heard Key and Peel mention kids in the hall,
44:29but I think that their sketches,they all kind of have the same surrealist aspect to it.Fascinating.Yeah, I would compare the two.I mean, not every kid's in the hall sketch.I didn't love everything they did,but a lot of it aged.It was the 80s.
44:44Other performers that influenced me,Paul from Heavy Spoilers, of course.Of course.Great influence.As far as in the YouTube space,I mean, I've watched a million film videos.Shout out new rock stars and shout out Charlieand Mr.
45:01Sunday movies. And I remember watching Philadelphia's breakdown of Force Awakens, which Icouldn't find the other day, actually, when I was looking for it. But they, you know, that too,I was like, wow, there's so much depth in this, you know. And God, so many other channelsdon't even belated media, you know, like there's so many great ones out there. Patrick Willems,like I was a fan of Patrick's before I met him and did this stuff professionally. So a lot of that,like you kind of take aspects of what other people do and you use it for, it's like handwriting.You know, you copy it exactly, and then you develop your own style and bring a talking dog onto the show and stuff like that.Fascinating.
45:36Yeah.Were your parents at all into, did you bond with them with movies or shows?Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.Yeah, whole family.Yeah, we loved movies.My dad, like, that's the one thing.We, except was it as into sports as he was, my dad and I really bonded over movies.Like when he would pick me up, you know, my parents divorced, when he would pick me up for the weekend,
45:54the first place we would go when we got to the town where he lived was go to the video store.like stacks of movies all weekend yeah yeah definitely uh my mom too like my mom is whenhe got me into star trek and star wars and love sci-fi no way she was like the the nerdyeah yeah yeah she loved batman when she was a kid um my brother was the one who collectedmy brother had a variety of interest still does everything from you know he was mostly an athletebut he loved theater like broadway shows he loved uh baseball cards he collected those but he alsocollected comics and you know in video games that was always part of it too um so yeah and then mysister is like the movie person her favorite movie is the goonies she and my mom actually took a
46:35road trip to a story at oregon and went to where they shot it uh she's a producer some kind ofproducer she donated money to a goonies documentary like that's how enthusiastic she is about it but she'salways been the person who like she worked in a video store i never actually worked in a videostore my sister did you know i worked in a movie theater for a little bit um yeah i know a whole familygreat, great, great love of movies.Is there a particular film that you would say that when you watch it,you immediately think of your parents or one of them?Oh, that's a really good question.
47:07The planes trains and automobiles is tied to a pretty specific memory.I remember us renting that on VHS, but also renting the VCR.You rented a VCR back then?Yeah, you had to.They were too expensive back in the day.So you could rent them from the library, but they were hard to get a hold of.But then they would come in like suitcases.You know, the word like the suitcase was the casing for it with the handle and stuff.
47:28But I remember watching that with the family.If you want, I'll give you a good childhood memory of a movie, though.It's got nothing to do with my parents.But I remember my brother and sister, like I said, they were older.They would usually have people sleep over, which is funny because we live in a two-bedroom trailer.So one time I remember they had all these other kids over.It might not been that many, but it feels like a lot.And we were watching Stand By Me.
47:49And this hasn't happened very many times.I think it's maybe happened one other time in my life.I watched the movieand then when it was overI looked around andeveryone was asleep and I nevernoticed. Like I was able tohyper, it's ADHD. I was able to hyper
48:05focus on the movie so muchand I wish I still had that ability.Like it's so rare for me to find anythingwhere it's, it was literally like time travel.So that was another great moviethat we all like bonded over and associated with.Do you think your perspectiveof society in the world
48:21wasn't, because obviouslyyou read a lot, but do you feel like movies and shows perhaps expanded your perspective ofculture outside of where you grew up? Yeah, yeah, it was the escape, for sure. Like, it goes backto the escapism of, you know, the country boy like Luke Skywalker looking at the, I mean, I have amodel that's up there. But I, my favorite moment in Star Wars is Luke looking at the binary sunset.I think that expresses that moment is why Star Wars is personal to people, because it's not a guywho's shooting lasers and stuff like that.It's a kid with a dream.
48:55And that's when we kind of like,we imprinted on Luke in that moment,like Jacob imprinting on baby Nessa and Twilight.That's,I wish I wouldn't have fumbled that,but that's a very good analogy.So, yeah, that in particular was something that I always,there were always escape as for me.
49:12I remember, like, he is so weird to live in New York Cityand to grow up seeing New York City in movies.And I remember, like, how far away.it felt. You know, the first time you come here as a kid, I was 19, but I was still, like,first time you see the ocean, you know, because I also didn't see the ocean until I was ateenager. It's so mind-boggling that you're seeing it and how in some ways smaller andsome ways bigger, you know, than you ever thought it could be. Yeah. So, yeah, definitelyescapeism was always a big part of movies and TV shows for me. I definitely have that with you
49:44when it comes to New York. Like, I'm actually going to go there in a couple weeks. See, oh, no, I'll be,I want to be here.And I'm going with my wife.She's never been.I would wish I was here.Damn it.I wish everyone I know who lives in New York is not going to be in New York when I'm in New Yorkevery single time.
50:00I could give you some recommendations, though, if you want.Like, I could probably think of a couple things worth doing.I love it.The thing you said earlier was Stephen King.Yeah, you read his books growing up, but I don't really hear you talk too much about horrorin your work.Well, I know, I never, like, I know Stephen King is known as a.horror writer.
50:20That's not why I read his books.I mean, his books are also very fantasy and science fiction.Like, uh, needful things, uh, the stand, right?I mean, I've read that book three times.Um, it's that horror book.It's mystical.It's magical, but it's not, it's about people.But do you like horror?
50:39Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.I'm not a big expert in it.Uh, we do have one writer on the channel, uh, Brianna McClarty, who is a massive horror fan.And I really want us to start doing it.Because now, like, we've got.this script she's got, I don't think she's written it yet, but it's about, you know,this kind of many Renaissance horror is in right now. And I just don't, I don't see a lot ofmovies, man. You'd be surprised, like, the shocking, small, shockingly small amount of movies I
51:06actually get to see. Like, when Oscar season starts, I'll really try to go all in and seeas much stuff as possible, but I still haven't seen Wild Robot, haven't seen Gladiator 2,haven't seen Alien Romulus. It's ridiculous.how little time I have.But I imagine a lot gets spoiled for you.Yes and no.I mean,even if I record a video on something,
51:26it doesn't mean that I'm necessarily going to retain everything that I say.You know,you can tell you,like,you mentioned the videos is performative.And yeah,you've read from a teleprompter.It really is like Ron Burgundy,
51:36you know,fuck yourself,San Diego.Like,you could probably put a lot of things in front of me like that,like,or the number of times I have just blown through Japanese namesand hoped I got it right,
51:45knowing I'd come back and do a pickup,like that kind of thing too.But pronunciation at me.I love hearing these aspects, again, because as much as, as long as we've known each other, there's so much about you.I didn't even know that you had a brother and sister until this conversation.So, like, there's still so much.I'm like, oh, man, there's so many things I still haven't, like, asked you about.So it's fun, like, tying it into movies and uncovering this piece of information here.
52:07There are certain questions.I'm like, oh, I would love to hear Ryan's answer on this because I love the introspection that you actually bring to it.What would you say is the last movie that you watched?that you just could not stop thinking about it after you watched it.I thought for me this year it might be Furiosa.It didn't quite gestate as long as I hoped it would.Like the Dark Night is a great example of like one that I just thought aboutand still think about to this day.
52:34Not a movie,but I think about the Watchman TV series all the time.Really? Why?Yeah.I just layered.I mean, there's so much to that.I think not just about our culture and racism and politics,but also just about the nature of superhero stories.
52:49like even just the idea that in that universe the cops wear a mask really made me say gee what does it mean to wear a mask like when superheroes wear a mask yeah since the 40s or 30s it's had a really practical application so they can have two lives to protect their loved ones protect other identity yeah exactly you know the Punisher has no loved ones so he wears no mask you know Superman cartkins the mask which I actually isIt isn't really true anymore, but it used to be.In the watchmen, when the cops wear a mask, it's for the same reason.It's granting them anonymity so their loved ones don't get attacked.But then you also think it removes accountability.And they're really careful in the first scene in that to show that there are a lot of procedures.It's a very liberal government.There are a lot of procedures if you even want to pull a gun on a traffic stop.
53:44But on the other hand, they're also able to go into a trailer park and beat the hell out of peoplewho are neo-Nazis.Then there's a line that Adrian Bight has in itwhere he says, masks make men cruelbecause of that anonymity that it grants you.And I think that speaks to accountabilityin the sense of being a part of a community.Like if you want to be accepted by people,
54:08you will obey certain societal norms.You will, you know, and everybody's got different levels of that.I'm the kind of person who not only returnsmy shopping cart, but I'll pick up strays along the way.Not everybody's like that, and I've come to accept that.That's a big part of counseling.I think that in terms of wearing a mask, you know, it also gives you permission to be beyondthose norms in the same way that you could say being a public official or a politician
54:37or wearing a badge could make the worst of us have those same impulses.And that's what the watchman was really getting at in that last monologue.She's brilliant.And then, like, her great grandfather has this line where he says, you can't heal without sunlight.You can't heal under a mask.And then you get into the whole idea of, like, well, as a society, you know, you can say that, like, post-Watergate and Vietnam War, Jimmy Carter was a president who was really trying to be honest with people and say, hey, this is hard.Conservation is important.We have to conserve energy.
55:08And then in the 80s, Reagan came along and was very much like, you're Americans.You're the best.Don't worry about any of that stuff.and we always prefer to wear the mask.We always prefer to put on this idea of the person we want to berather than maybe doing the work about who we actually areand figuring out to fix ourselves, both as a nation and as an individual.That's a really strong point, really strong point.
55:32The idea of a mask in, I mean, I think of like the masks, like we all wear masks,but the idea of actually wearing a mask everywhere we go,even when it comes to me and presenting ourselves here, like on camera,We're going to be doing a talk.Like before we were doing this, I was having undoubtedly one of the most stressed out days I've had in a very long time.I had a thing where I was like sending a voice message to one of the teams here.And I was pissed.And I was like, don't send.
56:05Like I was setting a voice out.I was like, no.This is just going to backfire.You're just angry.You need to like not do it.And I'm like, oh, I'm late for my talk with Ryan.And having to find, like, a genuine point where you can find that genuine smile, find that genuine happiness.And I feel, I know it's like what you were talking about at all, but in some regard, like, the idea of wearing a mask and not presenting that mask, not not, it's the struggle that I've been having is like, oh, you know, I really want to be able to just kind of be myself and not feel like I got to hide.
56:39Sometimes you've got to be a professional, you know, all these things.And that's been the interesting journeybecause I feel like, especially with the platformwe're on, on the topic of Massa Sykes,I think I'm more gravitated towards sincerityand being genuine as much as possible.So sometimes I do just want to come on cameraand be like, you know, I'm like pretty pissed off today.
57:00Well, but, you know, you talk about being pissed offas being like real and anger is not like any,it's not a real emotion.It's a secondary emotion.Secondary emotion.That's a reaction to,other things, right? So if you're pissed off... Usually it's a sense of loss or hurt. Yeah, it's usuallyYeah, or betrayal. I mean, even like if you find out somebody lied to you, a lie is a harsh
57:23reconciliation with the truth. Like, that's what a betrayal is, you know? So I always just try tofocus on what's actually pissing me off. That being said, for years, I had the worst temper.I just had the worst temper, especially like when I was younger and I just worked on it a lot.Even now, I'll get pissed off. But I, God, I cannot remember the last time.I actually hit send on one of those messages.Like it's usually everything I do nowis like very carefully considered and calculated.Yeah.
57:50Yeah, I've once heard that most peoplewhen they're communicating, it's either coming down to two things.A sense of loss or a loving communication.And usually the sense of loss comes in the form of like hurt,you know, anger, all these other things.It's like it always comes down to that category.But with that in mind, has there ever been a characterwhere in an emotional journey
58:12I brought this up toKoi recently actuallywhen I saw Inside Out 2they actually flashed in my headthis morning when I was getting really madwhen I saw it. I don't know if you've seenHave you seen Inside Out 2? I have not.It deals with this character of anxiety
58:28But I've seen every episode of Agatha all along twiceThat's what I meanLike I got to pick and choose manGot to pick and chooseYou should watch Inside Out 2 with your watchI did recently rewatch theI haven't watched the Ride SkywalkI was rewatching the sequel trilogy
58:43and like for not for live streambut I ended up just likechatting our discord about itit was a lot of funbut no I haven't seen yetthere's there is this moment withI won't ruin itthere's this moment with anxiety
58:52towards the end and I feel likejust me saying thatwhen you watch you're gonna be likethis might be the momentGreg is talking aboutthat has constantlystayed with mesince I saw it
59:02and I like reacted to this movieand it literally has just stayed with meand usually when I'm in the heatof an anxiety strugglewhich happened several timesa week, I get this flash in my head of like, no, it's got to slow down, got to calm down,it's okay.And even though, so I actually got the lesson from, something I've heard my whole life,
59:22obviously, I've been in therapy for like over a decade.So I've heard this lesson forever.Yet this, there's something about the visual, emotional connection with this one momentthat has stuck with me since I saw the film.Have you had anything like that at all that has just kind of been a checkpoint or or basedline for you in some capacity thatreminds you of a certain typeYeah, I'm sure
59:45I have. Need a second to think of it.I'll tell youthere's a line I go back to a lot.Not really an emotional connection.Have you seen the movie Adaptation?Oh, yeah, yeah. I used to see a lotmore movies than I do now, which is ironic.Weird, that's why I started doing movie reactions
01:00:02because I was at the same problem.Yeah. Well, anyways, adaptation.The line in it where Chris Cooperis describinghow into fish he was.He's like, I used to go in the oceanget fish all the time,had aquariums everywhere.
01:00:18And then one day,fuck fish.And she's like, that's it.No more fish?He said, fuck fish.And I've not once since thenstepped foot in that ocean.That's how much fuck fish.
01:00:30So that's how much fuck fishhas been like one of mygo-to phrases for just like,we have irreconcilable differencesand I would never care about this again.Like, for instance,Palpatine is your grandfather.That's how much fuck fish.
01:00:48Like, that was a huge checkout moment for me.Not with Star Wars.Yeah.Not just with that movie,but with like everything they were doing,I was like, oh, we just did a video on this,but I was like, yeah, you're making this up.It's like in the 90s, there was this thing called the Clone Saga.
01:01:04Did you read comics?Do you know the Clone Saga?The Spider-Rammer?yeah yeah i didn't read it from getting in i'm i gotta i got asure sure but i was there man like you wouldn't last a day in the asylum where theyraised me yeah so just to give you you know you fake nerds i do please i barely have arecollection oh you fake nerds who didn't read this spider man storyline for two years in the90s uh like i bought every issue of it right because i was like oh my god look what's happening
01:01:35to spider man right and the whole thing was his closeshows up that was dead years ago and then it's like it dragged on for a long time and spiderman was going to this really dark place and then his clone became a superhero too and then likeaunt may dies actually that was that was really said there's this moment in that issue where aunt maydies where they're up on the top of the empire state building she is like she's got cancer or somethingand she suddenly says to him peter what's it like and she says what do you mean she said to swimto swing through the sky like like you do and how could i not know that you were spider man andI'm so proud of you are so good.
01:02:10That's a comic book that'll make you cry, man.Amazing Spider-Man 400,David McElaney, Mark Bagley.And I talked to Mark Bagley about it,and he's like, yeah, I don't remember that.Oh.Well, it was a million.The guy drew like 85 issues,
01:02:23like 100 issues of Spider-Man.So anyways.What a response.I know.I was like, hey,I don't even think it was in the,I don't think I was recording.I was just telling him like how much this meant to me.
01:02:32Anyways, with the Clone Saga, right?I realized at a certain pointoh they're just making this shit uplike it was just dragging on too longand then right after not too soon afterthey brought Aunt May backbecause it turns out that wasn't Aunt Mayit was an actress that Norman Osborne
01:02:52hired to pretend to be Aunt Maybecause Norman Osborne's actually been alive for 20 yearsand it turns out because there was this whole thingwhere Spider-Man's clone was the real Spider-Manand Spider-Man when it was a fakeand it just all undid it and I was likeoh yeah I guess you're not reportingon what's happening to Spider-Man.
01:03:07Like, this isn't, there's no plan here.You know what I mean?It's what I imagine, like,a lapsed Catholic would go through it.Yeah.Yeah.I've never had that kind of crisis of faith, though.Dude, I really appreciated this conversation.
01:03:21Me too, man.This was a conversation that I feel like I needed today.And so I appreciate the gift of your time, honestly.I wish I could stay longer.Or a Boris.All right, buddy.I'll talk with you soon, man.Talk to you soon, Greg.
01:03:34Thanks so much for having me.course, man. Bye.
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