The Resilient Mind - Be Your Rescue - Lisa Nichols

Episode Date: January 7, 2023

Lisa Nichols is one of the world’s most-requested motivational speakers, as well as media personality and corporate CEO, whose global platform has reached and served nearly 80 million people. From a struggling single mom on public assistance to a millionaire entrepreneur, Lisa’s courage and determination has inspired fans worldwide and helped countless audiences break through, to discover their own untapped talents and infinite potential. Source: Impact Theory Take action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download Now⁠⁠  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to Be Your Rescue with Lisa Nichols. Get access to the Mental Mastery Program and other exclusive episodes by becoming a subscriber. Enjoy. And I want to start with a quote from you, if I may, which is, I am my rescue, nobody else. What does that mean to you? Because it really hit me. It means that everything that I need to get back. I have in me. If I don't have what I need, I can go get it. Once I figured that out, the world was my, like, playground. Like, the question is just, where do I go get it?

I don't know about that. Where'd I go get it? And I don't come from a learning background where I was a great student. I wasn't, you know, my highest grade in school was a C-plus. And when I got a C-plus, I did the happy day. And so I didn't have a background

where studying was natural for me. But when I realized that if I go study something and I learn it, I own it, it's mine now, man, it was crazy because all through school, I struggled. The last time I took an English class, My English teacher told me I was a weakest writer she ever met in her entire life. Lovely.

Yeah, lovely. And the same year I took a speech class and my speech teacher, he said, quote unquote, Ms. Nichols, I recommend you never speak in public that you get a desk job. Oh. And so I... That's mean. Yeah, it just, you know, it was demotivated people, sad people. Hurt people hurt.

Sad people make other people sad. Bottom line. Don't take it personal. Hurt people hurt. That's really right. I don't want to derail your story because your story's amazing. We are going to finish that tale. but hurt people, hurt, sad people are sad.

They make other people sad. Sad people make other people sad. Because people love company. Everywhere you are, you want company. And so without taking it personal, just see where people are. And so a part of that was I had to see who I was hanging around. And, you know, miserable people want company, you know. And I had to literally be willing to not only relocate my mind, but relocate my body

so I can relocate my finances and relocate my possibility, relocate my son's future. I was very clear the future my son was going to have if I didn't do something. And I was not subscribing to that, not on my watch. My son's father went to prison when he was eight months old. And he's been in prison since my son was eight months old. My son turns 22 this year. My son is an African-American male child living in south central Los Angeles when at that time. He had a 66% chance rate of going to prison, not on my watch.

So I was willing to be radical. See, most people want the convenience of transportation. transformation without the inconvenience required for transformation. So my grandmother says, and I love to repeat this, your conviction, what you're passionate about, your conviction and your convenience don't live on the same block. They ain't even in the same zip code. So if you want to have a conviction for something, you have to sign up, sign up to be inconvenienced.

We're trying to find convictions and passion and breakthrough on the inside of our box. Well, when you realize that the box doesn't even exist, like someone made up, oh, you're playing outside the box. So we all bought into, there's a box. Well, I don't live in, I don't even own a box. I don't even want to get in your box. Like, you better come out here because I ain't getting in there. And so when you start thinking like that, Tom,

all of a sudden, everything is possible. So, you know, I disrupt people when I say, you want to make me extraordinary because it lets you off the hook. God, that's good. Wow, you just gave me the church. Right. Right. Right. Everywhere I go all around the world, you're like, oh, my God, Jesus.

Yeah, because it lets you off the hook. You get to play like, oh, well, if I had it like hurt, no. What if you do? What if you do? What if the God that we call God, the divine, whatever your faith is, what if there's no partial? It's not going to give me a hookup and not give you one. Not going to give me an opportunity not give you one. I'm just going to go after it.

If I die, I'm going to die on a treadmill, like Wilson said. I'm going to be on the trailmill running. You know, I'm just not going to stop because I believe all things are available to us. I'm just willing to go after them. Are you willing? And then that is so disruptive because then you've got to make a decision. Because it's easier to live inside the

parameters of, well, as a black woman, well, as born and raised in South Central, well, I'm academically, I'm dyslexic. I'm dyslexic. I'm dyslexic. I wrote seven books. I'm dyslexic. You know, I just tell good stories. I'm just not the one to edit the book. Because then we all in trouble. I'm going to put a period at the beginning

of the sentence, right? So just knowing, like, I'm not perfect. What I do really well is I manage my imperfection well. And so we're all waiting for perfect. It's an illusion that will never come to you, and it's an excuse to never show up and play. Your story is not meant to be your fortress. Your story is meant to be your fuel.

Any story. Like the beauty of me being one of the top 1% earners in America is that I was on government's assistance. Right. Like, that's the beauty. Like, come on. It wouldn't be a big deal of my family. was rich, whatever.

I'm supposed to do something. The beauty is that when you show the little engine that could story, like, I'm not going to run fast, but I ain't going to stop running. I might slow down and have to breathe and catch my breath, but I'm not stopping, because I believe all things are available to all of us.

And good people should do well. Because when good people do well, good people just do more good in the world. All right. I need to stop and catch my breath. Right. You thought this is about it. Amen, right. All right, so we're going to really drive a point home because you just messed me up.

You make me extraordinary to let yourself off the hook. Yeah. I've never been able to really get my hands around. One of the things that really, really frustrates me, which is that people discount me because they see me as successful. Right. And in doing that, they robbed themselves of something. Because you can't show somebody, like your physical transformation, by the way, is astonishing.

Watching your videos. But no, no, no. Hashtag chasing Michelle Obama arms, hashtag. Hashtag respect. Right, right. It's amazing. Watch these videos. She's so vulnerable.

It's crazy. And you see a side of Lisa Nichols in that transformation that you'd never really let people into before. There was just a vulnerability in everything about you. absolutely breathtaking. Thank you. But that's easy to show people. Yes. Right?

But showing them the transformation that you went through mentally is not. Now, I used to Big Brother in South Central, so I went to USC. It is an oasis right in the heart of the worst neighborhoods, as you well know. Right.

And so I had, there was an African-American kid that had been adopted, and I got very involved in him and his family and spent a lot of time in South Central. It's drab. There's nothing that says this is your future other than this. And I remember talking to him

and his framework reference for what his future could be was so terrifying that all I used to do, and this is back when I was dirt poor, I used to take him to Beverly Hills to watch movies. I would take him to a fast food restaurant in Beverly Hills, just anything in Beverly Hills so he could see, hey, there's like another part

of this world that looks different, it's more vibrant, just because I wanted him to see that. So how on earth do you go in the middle of that? Your son's father goes to prison, you're on public assistance, you're in the middle of this incredibly drab place where teachers are telling you that you're the worst they've ever seen. Like, what would possibly, other than what you've already said,

that they're just trying to drag you down in the place that they're at? What ideas are bouncing around in your head at that moment that you... Because it could have been an empty promise, right? You put your hand on Jay Lonnie's tummy, and you tell him, I'm never going to be this broke again, don't worry. But that could have been an empty promise. Right. But it wasn't.

So what happened? Like, what was going on in your mind? Right. First of all, I knew something in me knew as a young child that I wasn't supposed to stay in my environment. So I live between the Harlem 30s and the Role in 60s. And I had three fights a week to get home from school. And I remember when I was 15, my teacher said, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I said, alive.

Like, and when I get to 21, ask me again, but I don't have that luxury you have. And I remember that. I remember that like it were yesterday. And, but I also knew that I was worthy of something better. I didn't know where it was. I didn't see it anywhere. And if you remember, all the television shows during that time that had African Americans in them, they were pretty drabs. So, yeah, good times.

Nothing was good. Right? You had different strokes where the white man was saving the little black kids, except for in 1984 when the Hux Bowls came out. Well, that wasn't what I grew up with. I was on my way to college then. But I used to watch the Brady Bunch. And I used to say, I don't know what they had to do to have that kind of life. But they always worked everything out in the end.

And I declared I want a peaceful life like that. I want a life of possibility. And almost every single one of my initial mentors, I couldn't touch, I couldn't talk to, I didn't have access to. But I held on to them like they were oxygen. Because they were my visit to Beverly Hills. So I would go in my head. I would go through television. And I didn't want to be rich.

I never really aspired to be rich and I never aspired to be famous. I aspired to have peace of mind to have grace and ease in my life to be able to provide for myself. So I already had this experience that I wanted. And so when I, when fast forward

to answer your question, I'm in Englewood, living off Arbavida. I'm on government's assistance and I run out of money and I had to buy pamper's for Geelani. And I had $11.42 cents in the bank.

And I remember wrapping my son in a towel for two days. You know, someone said, because when I tell the story, I always get teary-eyed. And someone said, do you fabricate the tears because you've told the story so much?

No, I'm a mama. Every time I tell the story, I feel it again. I remember the second day, like you said, I had my hand on Jolani's stomach, and I said, don't worry, baby. Mommy will never be this broke or broken again.

And that day, what shifted for me was I was willing and I don't know if this is going to sound crazy, I was willing to completely die to any form of me that I had been so that I can birth the woman that I was becoming.

The reason why a lot of people won't become who they want is because they're too attached to who they've been. And you hear it all the time when people say, I've always been this way. Okay, well, if that's working for you, keep doing that. I knew it wasn't working for me any longer. I had hit my version of rock bottom. So I was willing to let go of everything and everybody.

See, another reason why people won't get there is because the doorway is for you to fit through. You're trying to carry everybody else through because you're trying to be rescue 911. And you got to rescue you first. I am much more valuable to my family and to my community because I was willing to let them go. Go through the door myself, teach myself, learn myself,

condition myself, and then come back and get them. I'm much more valuable to them now. But I had to go through a window time of 10 years of judgment. You leaving us hanging out with white people all the time. You going to these crazy countries. We don't know what you. I have to be willing to allow. my conviction to make me inconvenienced.

See, we want to grow, but we want to stay liked by everybody. I was willing to be my own rescue at the risk of your approval. Most of us aren't like that. Facebook is example. We want to be liked. Well, I woke up and I like myself today, so your like is extra. My job is to like me first. I was willing to say every day, Lisa, you like you?

Lisa, are you proud of you? Lisa, are you playing full out every day before I checked in with anybody? else. That's lonely, by the way. Why won't most people do it? Because it's scary and it's lonely. So what did I do? I was willing to find people who had what I didn't have, who were living lives that I wasn't living, who believed things that I didn't know about, and I was willing to become their student. I got up every day and I ate a slice of humble pie. See, when you get to this level, even me 10 years ago, you can get caught up by reading your own fine print.

See, whenever I hear people reading my bio before I came on and you read my bio, I'm in the back going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't want to ever think I arrived. I don't ever, that bio is old. You should be interested in my future old. That's my bio, what's my future old? What are you doing?

Who am I becoming for 2020? And we get caught up in our bios. We get caught up in our status. I never allowed that to stop me from going and sitting at the hymn of someone and saying, what do you know about wealth? See, because there's three forms to money. It's three relationship to money.

We learn how to earn it. We learn how to keep it, and we learn how to grow it. Well, I learned how to earn it because my theme song was, I'm a hustler, baby. And I want you to know, everybody with me. It ain't where I've been, but what? Where I'm about to go.

So I was singing that song. That was good. They know, they know, right? I was singing that song when I was working out of my closet as my office. I was in a walk-in closet where you really couldn't walk in, you stepped in and turned. Right? And the clothes rack, you know how you have the hanger rack. I had pant hangers in the closet, and I had manila folders clipping on the pant hangers.

Those are my client files. And I would sit there, and I put 299 mirrors that you get from CVS. I put them all around my closet walls so that I can make my office. look bigger. I worked out of that closet office for four years singing that song. And I ain't where I've been, but where I'm about to go. I knew that. I knew how to make money. I don't know how to keep it, because ain't nobody had none of my family. So keeping wasn't an issue. Growing was never an issue. So I went to people who knew how to make it, keep it, grow it. I went to people who was about serving others to the highest level. See, I make a lot of money because I serve more people.

See, all your success is on the other side of service. People trying to make money, if it begins and ends with money, it's going to be a short-lived victory. But if it's about transforming lives, then the wind keeps going and going and growing and growing. So I went to people that knew what I didn't know. And I killed my ego every day, murdered my she-go every day. Because I got a big she-go.

I mean, come on, right? Every day, Tom. And I got hungry, and I learned. I went to the same training 42 times. Yes, I said 42. Some folk will stop because I've been there already. I learned that already. No, I wasn't there.

I wanted to be able to finish their sentences. I want to know what you know. I want to walk like you, talk like you, and then I want to then embed me in it. But success leaves clues. We're just not picking them up. I was the only African-American person at this conference. I was one of two women at this conference.

Within the last 29 sessions, I led the conference. But I was willing to be the student first. So that's what I did, number one. And number two, I looked at every toxic behavior in my life. Everyone. You see me go behind my own black curtain. People don't want to tell on yourself. You're trying to protect.

You're trying to do four things. You're trying to protect, prove, hide, and defend. If you wake up every day and say, I have nothing to protect. I have nothing to prove. I have nothing to hide. I have nothing to defend. Now, who do I choose to be? Because your energy is consumed with protecting, proving, hiding, and defending. But if you let go of that, then now you're in creation. Every day I told myself that. Every day I got in the mirror and I said three sentences. And I gave each sentence seven different endings. And at times I was crying so hard I couldn't understand myself because the ending, the sentence was so difficult to say. Every day I look at. looked in the mirror and said, Lisa, I'm proud that you. And I found seven different things to celebrate Lisa for, because we are under-celebrated.

Because you want someone to celebrate you more than you celebrating yourself. You want to hear thank you from others more than you thanking yourself. You want to hear other people say, I love you more than you saying, I love yourself. You are teaching the world. I set this on Oprah.

When I set this on Oprah, she said, oh my God, I believe the exact same thing, so I knew I had one thing right. The world is looking at you and following your example. of how to treat you, how to treat you. They're following your example of how to treat you. So how you treat you, the world's gonna follow your lead. So I had to start treating Lisa better because I was everything for everybody, but nothing for myself.

And so every day I got in the mirror and I completed three sentences. Lisa, I'm proud of you for. Second thing, Lisa, I forgive you for. That one took me down daily. Because I'd had a son with a man who was now in prison, my biggest nightmare. biggest nightmare, my greatest nightmare. I had been in a relationship that turned mentally

and then physically abusive when my son was three years old. I made money but lost it. I was on government's assistance. I was on welfare. I was on WIC, women, infant, and children. I got a lot of forgiveness that I had to do. But I was willing to forgive myself every day. And every day I said the same thing for like six months

until it got easier. And then one day I went, Lisa, I forgive you for. And that thing didn't come up anymore. I was like, ooh, okay, on to the next. Seven different endings. And the last thing I did every day, last sentence, is Lisa, I commit to you that. Because we make bigger commitments to other people. If I commit to y'all something right or die, you can bet your last dime that I'm going to be there.

I'm going to show up. You're going to get two times. But I would make commitments for me, for myself, and I wouldn't do it. I eat my weight. So I started every day celebrating Lisa, forgiving Lisa, and making a commitment to Lisa. And then I was willing to invest money in me. I love this story. I was willing to invest money in me.

Literally. Literally. Literally. I worked at LA Unified School District. And I knew I couldn't stay there because they needed a degree. I didn't have a degree. They didn't seem happy. I want to be happy.

So I would have my son at daycare during the day. I'd work nine hours. I'd pick him up from daycare, take them back to my office. I take a 30 minute break from 6 o'clock to 6.30 to go get him. I start working from 6.30 until midnight every day at my office on me, every day. Put my son on a little, you know, primary color blanket, something to occupy him, give him toys that I took the batteries out of so he'd be confused for a little while trying to figure out. I did not work and I'm sure I'm serious. And I did it every day, every day, every day. I stopped going out to dinner. I stopped going out dancing. I stopped getting my nails done. Stop getting my hair done. And every two weeks when Ella Unified paid me,

I wrote a check to my dream. And I wrote in the memo line, funding my dream. And I would mail the check to the bank, Wells Fargo. And I mailed a check to myself every two weeks for three and a half years. My family thought, you know, that I was smoking on drugs. Like, she ain't going out. She's not, she eating beanies and weenies all week. We think she on drugs, but she's not getting any smaller, so maybe not. And, um, and I went to the bank after three and a half years. This is the story you're talking about.

I walked in the bank. I said, I'm just going to check and see where that account is because I wouldn't open the, I wouldn't open the statements. Because my mother used to say when I was growing up, girl, this money burning my pocket. And I'm like, I don't, I think money. hot and it goes, thank you, thank you so much. And it goes away fast. So I'm not going to open a statement because I don't want to know how much money I have because I didn't have a healthy relationship to money. I didn't even know a relationship with money. So while I'm at these trainings,

they just kept saying saves. I'm like, okay, I'm a save. I didn't need the money that I was writing checks for because it was the money I used on my nails and my hair. And then every check I wrote to myself, I made a challenge with myself that it had to be 5% more than the next check. than the previous check. And I didn't really know how to calculate the 5% I'm like, well, I'll just add $30. I'll just add $60. I really didn't know anything about it.

Then I went out and got a second job. And I started working in the evenings less on my business and more out on jobs so I can write a bigger check. So I learned how to live on $31,000. That's all I was living on $31,000. We can make it. We got it.

I sold my Ultima. I had at the time, I bought an oat, export, explorer. You know, I just skinny down. I moved out of my three-bedroom house. I moved in with a roommate. She smoked even, and I was like, okay, I'm going to put towels under the base of the door. Y'all, you've got to be inconvenienced.

I put towels on the base of the door so the smoke couldn't come in the room with me and my son. We slept side by side in the same bed. Went from a three-bedroom, you know, three-bathroom house, two-story to a roommate, you know, because I was willing to write a check to fund my dream. And I kept writing funding my dream, funding my dream, funding my dream. And I walked in the West Fargo, three and a half years later. And I gave her my name. I said, hi, my name is Lisa Nichols.

And she was like, you'd have funded my dream lady. I was like, yeah? So all these tellers came running around, the manager came around, because I guess everybody had processed a check or two. And they were like, we all been wondering. Like, everybody wants to know, what's the dream you funded?

And I was like, I don't know, but it's going to cost some money. I think I got a little money now to fund a dream. And so I said, I just came to get my balance and to see where it is, because I haven't opened any of the statements. They were like, what? I said, no, I haven't opened any of the statements because money burns my mama's pockets or it might burn my pocket, so I don't want to spend it.

So she wrote the balance down. You know how they write the balance down, and she turned it and passed it to them, and I looked at it, and I said, no, ma'am, my name is Lisa Shante Nichols. This is my social security number. I don't even want that money because y'all going to want it back,

and I don't want to get in trouble, so can you just give me my account? You know, because I didn't know anyone in my family that had $5,000 in their account, $10,000 in account. So when you write down that I have $62,500 in my account, that's not mine. So they all teared up.

Like, everybody started crying. They're like, no, it's yours. I look down at my son, Giuliani, who was five years old now, and I said, Jelani, I think life is going to change for you and mommy. Oh. My son said,

Mommy, can we finally go to McDonald's bed? So, because I've been making them homemade Big Macs for a while. I was like, Mama can make you a better Big Mac than, you know, Ronald McDonald. So, because I was still, I was willing to inconvenience my entire life. My entire life. I was willing to disrupt my entire life to buy my future, to buy my possibility, to give my dream a chance. See, we're not supposed to tuck our dreams in on the pillow when we get up in the morning.

We're not supposed to leave them at home and go and fulfill somebody else's dream. We're not supposed to do that. That's not what we're wired to do. That's not who we are. Your human spirit doesn't care about the economy. The human spirit doesn't care that my son's father went to prison. The human spirit doesn't care what's happened to your family. The human spirit doesn't care about the past.

You may have been molested or your family may have been broke or you may have been betrayed or you may have a divorce. Your human spirit doesn't care about any of that. Your human spirit simply says, what's our command for tomorrow? What do you want to create? It's not keeping score. Your brain is keeping score. Because your brain is designed to keep you safe.

Your soul, your intuition, your human spirit is designed to make you sore. And when you get to the edge of that stage, I want to get up right now. Can I get up right now? Can I get up right now? Think I'm going to tell Lisa Nichols, no? Come on now.

When you get to get to that. the edge, your brain will always tell you to step back. It's always going to tell you to step back because you can fall. Always, it's going to tell you step back. Because before you fail, the last time you did this, you saw someone else fail, you could hurt, you could be off work. It's going to tell you, it's designed to keep you safe. So you have to be willing to play between your brain and your soul. And on some days, you've got to just listen to your soul. And you've got to say, I'm a leap. I'm going to get to the edge. Most people are at the edge and you're standing at the edge and you're watching everyone else fly. That's pit my ride,

watch my cribbed, all this stuff. You know, watching people's lives on Facebook. You're at the edge watching someone else live, wondering what it's going to be like when you jump without ever jumping. And I'm just here to tell you jump because only three things can happen. You're either going to jump and fly. Or you're going to jump and fall on something soft. Or you're going to fall down hard. Either way, you're going to get back up. You already know you got what it takes to get back up. Your greatest fear is not that you will fall. Your greatest fears that you will live a full life and never fly.

That you never leaped. You're not afraid of dying. You're afraid of dying before the world sees who you really are. Before they really get your fingerprint. Before they really feel your breath. Before they really get your contribution. Before they really feel you. That's what you don't want to happen.

You don't want to leave this place without us knowing you were here. all I'm doing is giving my dream a chance. And I'm not extraordinary. You don't get off the hook. You don't get to be let off the hook. I'm an ordinary woman who chooses every day to make one more extraordinary decision. You're a grinder.

Yeah, right? And look, there's a lot of people out there that can talk. You obviously have a profound gift for storytelling, but there's a lot of storytellers. What made you so interesting to me is that you've done the hard work to get there. You don't make a secret of it. You'll walk people through it.

Your books are how-to manuals. It's about doing the work. It's really, oh, God, you have a great quote. There's no shortcut to the top. There's no elevator. There ain't nothing but stairs. You got to get your glutes in action. I was this morning, I was on the wall this morning doing my squats.

I don't know about y'all, but I was doing my squats this morning. I was doing my lunges this morning. every day I'm prepared for what's ahead of me. There's no elevator. There's no elevator. You can't Google download this. Somebody trying to Google download it. You know, you can't follow me on Facebook

and get to where I am. You're just going to see where I am. You just watch me through my window. There's no glory in that. If you watch me, watch me to inspire you to get up and do one more squat, just a little bit longer. If you watch me, watch me to inspire you to forgive

the perceivingly unforgivable and love, the perceivably unlovable so the universe can love you back like that. If you watch me, watch me so that it makes you want to be a better man, want to be a better woman. See, when I rub myself up against somebody great, it's so that I can want to be a better woman in their presence. Only hang around people who make you stand on your tippy toes. That's what I do all the time. And then I hang around people who I make stand on their tippy toes.

That's what I do. That's when people step onto my campus. I train. I'm a trainer. I'm a transformer. I'm a transformational coach. I teach people how to turn the unbelievable into your reality. That's what I do. We're going to grind.

The first thing I'm going to do is say, look, get your deodorant out, put your tennis shoes on. We're going to squat. We're going to lunge. We're going to run. But on the other side of this, you will see a life that's barely recognizable. Why? Because I'm living that life. Look at who I am.

I'm a C student from Dorsey High School. I ran track. I got a D minus in speech and a failing English. When my English professor from high school, was in Barnes and Nobles, and he turned over chicken soup for the African American Soul, my first book, and he saw my face on the back. He said he stood in Barnes and Nobles and started crying.

He said he knew I was a good person, but he didn't know if I'd make it because I wasn't talented in any particular area other than track. I wasn't talented academic-wise. It didn't fire off fast for me. I learned later that it was because I was dyslexic and I had all these other learning styles. It makes me more unique, you know,

but in school it didn't show up that way. And so I'm clear that I didn't get a hookup. And I'm clear because of that, this is available to everybody. So I'm passionate about inviting people onto my campus. Come on, get in my live room, get in my online, online trainings, deep dive in the book. The book is like a three-day training by itself. My latest book, Abundance Now, I put everything in that. That's what my legacy will be.

It will free more people than any other body of work that I've ever done, other than the Abundant Life live program that I do, because I'm all about time. touching people, touching people and letting them see. Touch me. Let me touch you. So you can see there's zero distance between us. And I believe the universe says, God says, when there's zero distance between you and it, it is yours.

So I used to go around my girlfriend, very, very wealthy. Her husband created, he created something. It was sold to Kimberly Clark. They did one sale for $100 million in life changed overnight for them. So I would often go to their house in La Jolla, California, and I just rub all these stuff. No, really, I've been rubbing my friend stuff for, like, years. I rub all their stuff. And because I believe that zero distance between you and it means

it's available to you. So surround yourself into things that stretch you. And I'm not even into material things, though I want to live a great life. Like, I'm not into cars. But if I got to be on the road, I want to be on the road on something absolutely amazing. You know, I'm not into materialistic things, but I wanted to have that kind of indicator that my life is right. I'm doing the right things. As well as in less than 30 days, I take eight of my family members to a for a vacation and all they got to do is pack right, just pack right. I'll take care of everything else. My grandmother who's 87, my mother, my father, my son, my nephew, just a ton of people. That to me, money just buys better memories. Money just buys better memories. It's not about the money.

But listen, if I got to have a problem, I want to arrive to my problem in a better car. I want to end my day and go to a house that reflects the type of day I have. So I just would surround myself. I get hungry for it. I'd hunt for it, but through service. And I would be remiss if I didn't say this. I was willing to love some people from a distance. I was willing to love some people from a distance. Because they were holding you back.

I wouldn't even say they. We used the phrase they were holding me back as if they got a slingshot around my neck. But I look up half the time and I'm holding on to them trying to use them as my excuse. I'm just saying. I don't know if it steps on your toes. If it does sit Indian-style, I'm not stopping.

You know, because I could use my son. Well, I don't want to leave my son. I can use my family. They're not holding on to me. I'm holding on to them. I'm using them as an excuse to not play full out because I'm afraid if I go to the edge, I might fall. Mm-mm.

No. My son, when he was eight years old, he said, Mommy, when you go to the faraway places that I can't go to, that I can't call you at, I get really sad. Please don't go. I could have stopped then when he was eight. But instead, I took him out of a public school, put him in a private school, went to the principal of the private school and said, I'd like to enroll my son. But let me tell you what we're going to do here. When I leave and I go away real far where he can't call me, we're going to distance learn him together. And you're going to send him away with a packet of homework. And I'm going to FedEx that homework back to you. She says, Ms. Nichols, we don't have such a program. I said, oh, I'm happy to help you co-created. And so when I went to Kenya, my son went to Kenya with me for a month. And we did all of his homework.

His homework was like everybody's project. And we fed-exed back home. We went to Swahili. He went to Swahili with me. When I went to Australia, he went to Australia with me. And we fedexed his homework. I was willing to be inconvenienced for my conviction. Like if you go where you've never gone, do what you've never done and say what you've never said,

you'll become the woman and the man you've always known yourself to be. You're trying to be someone new doing the same thing you've done, or at least going to the edge. And because most people live in the center, Tom, when you're on the edge, you feel the breeze on your cheek and you think you did something. I mean, come on, right, that's, oh, you're at the edge of the box. No, I want to be out of the box.

There's no box. Like, I came here to disrupt everyone watching me to make sleeping and complacency difficult, to make you mildly, to mildly, to significantly uncomfortable in any form of mediocrisy. I don't come to keep you comfortable. I don't come to rah-ri-you. I don't come to Kumbaya motivate. I come to disrupt your norm so that your abnormal can come out, so that your original can come out. Your uncharted turf can come out. I come to disrupt any form of normal.

And I do it with the freedom of being liked or not liked. Like, I love everyone here to like me. I love everyone here to like me. But my freedom is, if you don't like me, it ain't even my business. My grandma says, other people's perception of you ain't none of your business. Is your job to do the best you possible. And in doing you, you inspire us. Because we're all trying to do each other. If you want me to give you Oprah, I will always undoubtedly fail you.

But whenever you're interested, I do a damn good Lisa Nichols. I got her on lock. That if you can master you and your contribution to the planet, your unique fingerprint, your individual breath, your DNA, you're an unrepeatable miracle, an unrepeatable miracle. Give me some of you. Give me your uniqueness. I'm just here to disrupt everybody's norm and give them my uniqueness and hopefully inspire millions to do the same. And you may not

always be able to monetize your passion. It's not always about monetizing your passion. Let your investor, aka your job, I like to call it your investor, let your investor help you do your dream by simply stabilizing your household, letting your lights stay on because you can't be creative when the lights are out. Believe me, I've tried. Keeping food in your refrigerator. So your passion is not always for profit. Your passion is not always something you monetize. Your investor takes care of your needs, and then you go do your passion.

Yeah, it's interesting because we all have an opportunity to create who we are, to be something that's truly unique in our own, and so few people are actively trying to do that. So walk me through, because what makes you special is you go way beyond just the motivation. What are you teaching Jolani about, like, what are the actual words or tools that you're giving him to be himself? Jelani is now, he'll be 22 this year, 6'2-2-2010 pounds. So what I teach my son is to do him, not me. What I teach my son is he's going to find his best lessons and his biggest mistakes. So don't be afraid of mistakes.

Don't you think most people don't know who they are? Like if you really, especially young, how do you help him find, or how do you help anybody find that, define it, create it? Yeah. So you're going into transformation now. And I love transformation more than I love motivation. Because it's a game changer. So I do a series of exercises constantly.

It's like doing app work. You want great abs. You can't do sit-ups one time and get it. You got to go back again and again and again and again. That's the same for self-development. You got to live in it. It's not a one-time shot. So when someone tells me, oh, I did your workshop already,

I said, oh, you think you got it all? Like, I did the same workshop 42 times, right? And still can go back and get something new. So one, I teach people how do you get connected with you? You haven't met you yet. How do you meet you? And so there's a series of exercises that I have them to do. One exercise, I'll give you one exercise,

and someone's going to go home the day and do this, and it's a game changer. And it's not even pretty. So this ain't rah-rah. Because first of all, as a transformational coach, very different than a motivational speaker, inspirational speaker, and informational speaker. Those people are there to incite you, excite your.

Transformational coach is designed to go to the dark place with you, hold your hand, and coach you out into a brighter light. That's why it's the road less traveled. So one exercise that I have them do. And you'll notice just in this exercise, you'll see how I help get them there. So this exercise is called Expose the Lies. and I have you get about 16 blank sheets of paper.

You may not fill them all up, but if you're playing big in the world like you are, you might fill them all up. And I have you write down every lie you tell yourself. And I have you talk about just the lies around money first. You might fill up two, three pages, just the lies around money. And you can't think about it and then not write it. Because if you think about it is a lie,

because the exercise is expose the lies. So think of the lie you tell yourself. So I'll never have enough money. Money is hard to earn. I have to work hard to earn good money. Like, that's a lie. Like, really it is. Some of y'all don't know that.

You can make money while you sleep if you set it up right, right? So all the lies about money that you've told yourself. Then I have you tell yourself all the lies you've told yourself about who you are as a person. Like, I used to say, I'm stupid. Because I used to hear all the time that I was, you're almost in the, you almost qualified for the little bus. You know, I used to hear all kind of stuff. And I began to believe it. I used to tell people I'm a slow learner.

Hold on, slow down. I believed it. So I would write all the lies you tell yourself about who you are. Next set of lies, which is why you have 16 sheets of paper. And each mindset, each category can take you two, three sheets of paper. All the lies you tell you something about relationships. Romantic, family, friends, all the lies. My family will never understand me.

That was one of my lies. They'll never really get me. I'll never have a long-lasting relationship. with a man. And then all the lies that you tell yourself around your health and fitness. Then all the lies you tell yourself around your spirituality. Can I tell you it's going to be ugly? People normally like, I don't want to do this. They stop. Well, it ain't going to feel good if you stop before we get to the finish line. So you have all these lies. Between every lie, you skip four lines are equivalent to four lines in space. Once you finish that, you read all the lies again so that you

and you're going to feel nauseous. And it may take you two or three days because you've got to take a break from it, right. You finish it. Don't put it off more than four days because now you're procrastinating again. And so again, you know you. And then in between the lies, so you write all the lies down in pencil. Very important. You write them all in pencil, 16 sheets of paper, 10 sheets of paper, whatever. Then you get a red pen and you write the truth in between each lie, even if you can't believe it yet. Now, most people get stopped and say, well, I don't know what the truth is. Okay, but there is a because this is a lie. And every lie has a truth, even if you can't believe it yet.

So now you write the truth down, you're going to cry. You're going to cry on the lies. You're going to cry on the truth. Because it's going to be exposed to you the truth that you knew, but you forgot you knew it. So you're living like you don't know your truth. Then, after you've done that, and the truth is written between every lie. Lies in pencil, truth is in red ink.

You read for two days, the lie, the truth, the lie, the truth. The lie, the truth. the lie, the truth, two days, at least four times each day. Because now you're training your brain, neuro-linguistic programming. So the next time the lie comes up, your brain is going to naturally default to the truth that you wrote in red ink. Because you gave your brain two things versus just having this lie.

Because when people say you're stupid, the only thing you counter that with is I'm not stupid. That's not positive, right? And so now your brain is going lie, truth, lie truth, lie truth, lie truth. Then after the second day of reading the lie of the truth, get an eraser. And what you're going to do? Erase the lie.

And now you're just left with the truth. So when you ask, how do I get people there? I do things like that. So I always tell people, watch my life and you'll be entertained. Step in and learn how to manage your life and you'll be transformed. Step onto my canvas. I've just finished this mega series of videos. They're not even out yet called Abundant Life.

And I did them after the book, Abundance Now, because people kept saying, how do I get the stuff that you say in the book? And I go, ah, so I did 14 videos in my home. I'm committed to showing others. I don't want to be here alone. A mountaintop don't feel good when you own it by yourself. You want company.

Like you want company. We're tribal. We're community. There's no glory in me being here by myself. There's none whatsoever. I want to bust the doors open. Every single person in this room, every single person listen to my voice,

look in our face. I want every single person. Bust the double doors open and go get yours. And UPS is not going to come to your door saying, hello, I have a life for you. Please sign here. You got to go out.

They're not coming. They're not coming. They're not coming. You've got to go out the door, put on your best running shoes, get your back strong, and go after it and run after it like you're late for work. Like, we'll run if we're late for work, run for someone else's dream, harder than we'll run for ours. Yeah, I love what you were saying about, man.

You want people to cheer for you more than you cheer for yourself, love you more than you love yourself, which is actually really odd. It's really odd to expect somebody to be more impressed with you than you are with yourself. To treat you better than you treat yourself. And then I just got to go here. I got a pass. I can go here.

Ladies, we really do it. Men do it as well, but ladies, we're extroverted doing it. We dump on our men and put the responsibility on you of our beauty, of our love, of our self-worth. And men manage it differently. You manage it in possessions and in money and in bank account and in status.

That's where you go for that. Traditionally, there's always exceptions to the rules. Traditionally. But as women, we emote and make you, You have to be our self-esteem, which is so incredibly unfair. We ask questions we don't want here to answer to. We ask questions that you only have one answer you can give us. You really don't have freedom in that answer.

There's one answer I need right now to make me feel good, and I need you to give it to me. That's so incredibly unfair. And we say, we even have the old adage, oh, I've been in marriage. I went in a man to complete me. That's a big job. You're a lot of woman to complete. Come on. You know where you come from in your issues.

that's not the truth. It's my job. And I love the dance between relationship, where there's woman, woman, man, man, man, woman. I love the dance between love and relationship. But it's not anyone's job to complete you. It's my job to complete me, and then it's your opportunity to compliment my completeness. Just saying. I'm just saying. And so my job is to work on Lisa versus to ask you to give me what I need. And I think when we get that, um, Self-development is something we haven't jumped into enough. And I don't know about every culture, but as African-Americans, and some other cultures as well, people I've met,

we mistake spirituality for self-development. And we think spiritual awareness is self-development. Spiritual awareness is spiritual awareness. And it's understanding the divine and the higher power and the God, whatever you call it, and having some place to release to. That's not self-development. Self-development is doing that dagon work. I just talked about exposing the lies that are in your hands.

that's running you, the chatter, the negative Nancy in your head, you know, managing it and exposing, exposing it. That's our work, and no one shows us how to do that work. Yeah, that's a really important distinction. That's really interesting, and I think that people cloud the issue in their own mind by, because Ryan Holliday, who's been on the show, talks a lot about how merely defining your dream, your goal, your whatever, can be intoxicating enough that you forget to actually go do the work.

Yes. And I think that there, and I'd never thought about it until you just said that, but there is a sense of connection, wonderment, when you can tap into spirituality that is... Consciousness. Yes. Consciousness is very important, but it means nothing without action. True. We got a whole bunch of conscious stuck people.

They're conscious. They know it all. They know all the awareness. They know affirmations. But Joan Bias says that action is the antidote, antidote, antidote for despair. Lisa Nichols adds, action is the prescription for success. How can you have one word, one theory, be the antidote for something while being the prescription for another? That's a powerful something. Action. Will Smith said it when he was being interviewed by Tavis Mali. I'm just,

I'm going to work harder than the next guy. If I'm on a treadmill, I'm going to die on a treadmill. Like, I get it. I was in South Africa and this gentleman was translating in Swahili from another gentleman and the gentleman asked me, was I going to go to the party that night? And I said, I'll try to make it. And he went to go back and tell him and he goes, are you going to go to the party? And I said, I'll tell him I'll try to make it. And he went to translate again, he turned back and goes, are you going to go to the party? And I said, tell him I'll try to make it. And he looked at goes, lady, there is no word try in Swahili. Either you're going or not. Tell him.

Wow. I went, oh, I'll be there at eight. You know, like, think about that. that in Swahili, there's no word for try. We use try as a crutch to say, I really don't want to do it, but I don't want to tell you now. Just say, I'm not going to do it or I am going to do it. Like, I love it. I never say try anymore after that. Like, bold, yes or bold, no, just choose.

Because no one wants to live in uncertainty and ambiguity, and we live a life of ambiguity. I don't know what I want to be. I don't know what I'm going to do. Because you'd never have to move in ambiguity. Instead, just say, I'm afraid to leap. Help me leap. Help me leap. Help me leap.

Help me get the courage to leap, because I don't want to live a life on the edge. Just say that. That's just, the truth is sexy, and it's liberating, and it's sobering. And what I believe people love most about me is that I give them the gift of the truth, my truth first.

And then in some way I want to inspire you to share your truth and be okay with your truth. And I just tell you guys, I'm that same girl who ran track for Dorsey High School, struggle to get through high school who got kicked out of college because I couldn't afford to stay. That was on government's, I'm that same girl. I'm that same girl. I don't forget her. I'm also that same woman who runs a multi-million dollar business. I'm also the same woman who has seven bestsellers. I own both of those. I own all of it. I don't shrink to my greatness

and I don't live in my saga and my sorrow. If you can own your brilliance while owning your your imperfections. If you can own your giant while owning your smallness. If you can live in duality, constant duality, the freedom will be earth-shaking. If you can live in that. See, either you don't want to be as great as you really are, and you're trying to dim your light so that others won't feel insecure about themselves in your presence. And so you keep playing at 79 watts when you know you're supposed to shine at 159 watts and you keep checking the temperature of the room to see what the room can handle

versus just giving the room you and letting them if your light's too bright, then let them put on some shades. Can you give yourself permission to live in the duality of your imperfections and your smallness and what you're learning and what you still have to learn and your greatness and your brilliance and your light? Can you allow them to coexist

and then serve them up to the world? To love you, to see you, to inhale you. to judge you, to leave you, to love you. You're just, some of us are just as afraid of being loved as we are to be left. Can you give the world permission to leave you and love you? So thank you so much for coming on this show. Y'all can breathe now. Where can they find you?

You can go to Abundance Now Online.com. Abundance Now Online.com. And that gives you access to my book, but it also gives you access to some tools. I don't just want you to pick up the book. I want you to pick up the book and become a student so that you can have the transformation. So I give you a lot of free things when you go there. But most importantly, you step on my campus. I want you to step on my campus.

I want you to find ways if it feels good. If it doesn't feel good, learn from someone else. But if it feels good and I speak your language, then step on the campus and give yourself that chance. I would invite you to, we don't even have it out yet, but when it comes out, you'll see abundant life. When the abundant life program comes out, run to it, run to it. It's that, it's going to be that game changer. I just believe it with all my heart. And so I believe that on the other side of it, when I sit down, my grandmother says,

when you get my age baby, you suppose to, she always calls us all baby. When you get my age baby, you're supposed to sit in your favorite rocking chair and tell the story of your life. But when you're your age, when you're your age, when you're your age, you're supposed to make sure the story's going to be good to tell. And I just believe that the Abundant Life program helps to make sure that your story is going to be good to tell. So go to AbundanceNowonline.com. You just listen to I Am My Own Rescue by Lisa Nichols. Check out our other episodes and continue developing your mind. Don't forget to follow and subscribe.