The Resilient Mind - Get Unstuck for Good: The Inner Work That Creates Real Change - Gabby Bernstein

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

Let Gabby Bernstein help you manifest the life of your dreams! As a world-renowned spiritual teacher and bestselling author, she has inspired millions with her transformational approach to mindset, manifestation, and inner healing. Take action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/Download_JournalGet Gabby's new book, Self Help: https://amzn.to/3ZZqIOpSpecial thanks to Lewis Howes, subscribe to his channel here: https://www.youtube.com/c/lewishowesWatch the full interview on Lewis's page: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5xV9BTYXL4&t=96s Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to Get Unstuck for Good with Gabby Bernstein. Get access to the Resilient Mind Journal by clicking the link in the show notes. Enjoy. We manifest what we believe. So if we are stuck in a core wound, traumatized story, a neural loop of fight, flight, freeze, we're living in a way where we're so afraid or blocked because of those core belief systems, what ends up happening is that no matter how hard we try to manifest, no matter how much we deepen

spiritually or how much we hold the vision, like you said, right, and have the intention, things may show up because your focus is redirected, but then it may show up and you can't keep it or it falls apart or things just aren't in the flow. And that lack of flow is often truly because of the core wounds from our very early, early, early years. Yeah. And so my, it's funny, this is my most therapeutic book. I went and I got trained in internal family systems therapy. It's a therapy that I've used for a decade.

And with my own therapist, it's about a, it's coming up on a decade, maybe nine years. now. And then I got trained in the model and I was so moved by it that I wrote this more therapeutic book. Now, while this is my most therapeutic self-help book, it's very spiritual too, but it's probably the most important manifesting book. Not because it's got lessons on manifesting, but because the secret to truly manifesting what you desire is to heal the beliefs that block those desires. Period. Well, most people, I think, are walking through life with beliefs of being unworthy, unlovable, inadequate, not good enough. Maybe they feel worthy in one area of their life, but they're completely blocked in another. And so the areas in our life where we lack that

confidence and that clarity and that connection and that calmness that you talked about when you were manifesting the house, sort of like they're just relax, knowing it'll come if it's meant to be the places in our life where we don't have that are the places where we have the most wounds. If you were to say, okay, I'm really great detracting things into my career, but my relationships, I'm just a show, okay, well, what is the core wound that's tied to those relationships? What happened to as a child? What do you know about relationships? Was there trauma there?

And this is sort of self-help 101 or therapy 101. We all kind of understand this on a kind of in the periphery. We're like, oh, yeah, I get that. this thing happened to me and then I'm going to hold on to it. But this book is like, no, no, no, no. The life you're experiencing is a result of the roles that you play, the parts that you play each and every single day. The world is like this theatrical event that we show up for on a day-to-day basis. And the parts of us that show up are different characters in our life. These extreme parts, these addicted parts, these fearful parts. So we're really. We're really.

like lots of different actors in the show that is our life. Internal Family Systems Therapy is not about your external family. It's about an inner family of parts of us. So we have these lots of little children inside. Have you ever said a part of me gets really outraged when Marta does this? Or a part of me flips out when I can't control something. Sure, sure. Yeah, yes.

You're kind of familiar with those parts of yourself. You've been said it earlier. A part of me is really, I don't even know if you said a part of me, maybe. But you're like, I can be really impatient. Yeah, of course. That impatience is a part, right? And these parts of us, often the extreme ones, are protection mechanisms. So the controlling aspects, the managing of the day-to-day things that we have to get done,

the perfectionism, the overthinking, the playing small, these extreme roles that we play in momentary situations in our life, or really sometimes all day, every day, are protection mechanisms. So the extreme, so if you lose to your life and you're saying, okay, there's parts of me that I don't like or there's parts of me or ways I act out that feel extreme or there's behaviors that I have that I just can't kick, addiction, overeating, drinking. And you see these things that you do, these behaviors that you just don't know how to change. It's because are very, very young parts of yourself. They've been around for a very long time. They never got a chance to grow up these parts of you. Very young. We grow up where we come into this world, we're like

these perfect little people. We're so happy. Everything's beautiful. Hopefully we enter the world in a safe, peaceful way. And from a very young age, we start to experience the burdens of the world, a parent that doesn't have a strong attachment. In the case for you and myself, having sexual abuse as children. So sometimes it could be extreme traumas like that, or it could be something along lines of being bullied in the classroom or being told that you're stupid by your teacher. These moments in time are so extreme for our child brains to process. We don't have the resources. We don't have the brain capacity. And oftentimes we don't have the parents or caregivers to help us process these extreme disturbance. They don't have the tools either to teach us. Or in the case of you and me,

we don't have anyone to tell. Right. Right. Or we're too afraid to tell. Or in my case, I dissociated. Didn't even have the memory, right? And so what do we do? We build up protection mechanisms. For me, one of those protection mechanisms was straight up dissociation. Like left my body, like dissociated from reality. For others, it could be, and this is young, at a young, young age. You know, it could be, okay, this thing happened to you as a child, and all of a sudden, you go into this extreme protection mechanism of trying to be perfect because you had this shameful experience. So perfection makes you feel safe. Or you give my son, for an example. I have a six-year-old son. When he was three-year-old, he was in a Montessori program. So it was three-year-old. So it was three-year-old. And so it was a very young age, all he learned, and he was just out of diapers. And that six-year-old was sort of like, you know, who is this three-year-old? I don't know what they did with him. I mean, it was just like kind of bossy to him. And at a very young age, all they learned, like, I got to be the boss. Because that was so extreme.

This kid is bigger. I want to be like him. He hates me. He tells me he hates me. He tells me to leave him alone. It's just kids are mean. But my little boy has this thing of, I got to be the boss. So he's got this misguided belief.

I need to be a boss. So what does he do? He walks around with his Nerf gun, you know, and he walks around. Like with his shooter, he's like, I'm the boss. You know, this is like a little innocent six-year-old. But he wants to be the boss because he's protected. himself from that feeling from three years old. Okay? I watched this whole part develop in a person. So an extreme thing happens, big or small, in the case of Ollie, it was a six-year-old, right? In the

case of me, it was something much more extreme. Hopefully, Holly never has to experience that. But whatever it is, we have extreme experiences and we exile them. We exile them. Those are called exiled parts of us. Exiled parts. These are the little young, traumatized children that had nowhere to go, no one to care for them, no one to support them. And we said, I'm going to lock that up. We send them into the basement. Don't ever talk to that person, see that part of me ever again. And at three years old, five years old, whatever it is, we start to decide, I'm going to do this to protect myself from feeling this. So Ollie's the perfect example. I got bullied. I'm going to start to be the boss so that I never have to feel that fear again about bully. We have, and then lots of different

protectors. And there's two types of protectors. So you're still tracking. with me here. I know you are. I just want to make sure that the audience is still tracking with me. I'm going to take this slow. So exiled parts of the young traumatized little children don't want to feel those feelings. So they're too extreme, right? Lewis, it's like, how could a child, you can't understand it. Your brain's not able to process it. Most adult brains don't have the ability to process that. Or most parents would say, you're fine, you're fine. Just get shut down. Yes. If you even did bring it to somebody, you'd be shut down, right? Especially with, or in cases of, you know, real extreme trauma, you don't feel safe enough to talk about it. Shut it down. Then you build up these

protection mechanisms, protector parts. And there's two types of protector parts. But in my book, I really just focus on one type. So we'll stay close to that. There's managers and firefighters. And so the managers are who we talk about in the book, because the firefighters are who I want people to go to therapy to work with. But the managers are the control-free, you know, for me, I'm just going to name my managers, you know, like one would be like, knives out is another one I named, like, if you're with me, I'm like, knives are out. Like, you know, like, you destroy you.

Yeah, that's a manager. He's a manager for me. Just sort of like anxiety was kind of a manager for me. Think about it. Anxiety, right? If I'm anxious and I'm, you know, moving, moving, moving so fast, like when you first met me, totally out of my body, hadn't remembered the trauma yet, totally. scared when I was going to cry when I think about that time, you know.

That anxiety was actually a form of protection. Of course. Because if I'm an anxious state, I don't have to feel the horror and the fear and terror of that other state. So that's a manager, the parts of us that are with us all day long, managing the big feelings of the exile. Okay. And then when the managers don't work anymore, like let's say something very big,

happens in your life something extreme and the managing is no longer working, that's when the firefighters come in. The firefighters will do whatever it takes to put out the fire of those impermissible feelings. And that's when you pick up the drugs, pick up the workaholism, pick up the alcohol, the sex, the porn, the binging, the extreme addictive parts of ourselves. And those are the most extreme parts of us are the ones that are working the hardest to keep us safe from those feelings. And then there's good news. You ready for the good news? Yeah.

We all have an interparent inside of us. So those are all the young children inside, right? The exiles, the managers, the firefighters, right? The protectors and the exiles. They're all like running our world, right? Or like one trigger happens, this protector shows up. Another trigger happens. It's like protector to protector.

It's like a boxing match all day long. Exhausting. Exhausting. Why do people have burnout? Why do people have stress? Why do people have chronic pain? Of course. There's a whole chapter in the book called Body Parts,

how the body, like physical pain is a protector. Yes. Like if I have a back pain, I don't have to feel my childhood wounds. We're going to get into that. The good news is that we all have, what Dick Schwartz has coined, is self with a capital S,

and self is our adult, undamaged, resourced part of who we are. It's the truth of who we are. It's the spirit of who we are. It's the God within us. It is an energy. And self has eight C qualities. Compassion, calm, connection,

creativity, courage, clarity, commitment. I'm missing one. I don't even know. I always miss it. is C. They're all in there. So, and connectedness, I think I got to them.

We'll find the eight Cs in the book and we'll get at least. Yeah, curiosity, compassion, calmness, clarity, creativity, connectedness, courage, and confidence. You know, it's so funny. Confidence is the one I always miss. But it's the one that I often feel we're quite connected to. So I won't forget confidence anymore. There you go. So I'm going to really try to keep the simple.

So just think about it like you have an inner parent. And everyone has an inner parent. We all do. And let's just keep it simple. It's keep it super simple. You know those times in your life when, let's say, Marta came to you and she was really struggling with something. And you just, your heart was filled up with compassion. No matter how extreme the thing that happened to her, you just felt connected to her. You were a calm presence for her.

You had deep compassion for her experience. You had clarity on how to communicate. You felt like you had the courage to speak up for what was true. And that really just, it wasn't even what you said, but it was that presence alone that helped her. Yes. You know what I'm talking about. Yes, of course. That's self energy. With a capital S.

With a capital S. And the thing is that it's, it's your true self. Yes. It's your essence. There's a really beautiful quote in the book that I share that's about how self is like the sun behind the clouds. And it's there. but the clouds are just in the way. So self is always been there, right? You feel self in Shavasana, you feel self, after a long run, you feel self, we're in self right now. Like this is our creative

force, right? We're in the flow. Like we have so much connection. We have so much creativity, right? We have clarity about what we're talking about. This is self energy right here. Like if you're watching and you're feeling elevated, excited, calm, soothed, that's, because our self-energy is coming through the screen or through the audio. And so we all have it. It's that we've, we have to release the blocks to the presence of it. How many personal development programs have we sat in where someone's like, oh, you have limiting beliefs and the limiting beliefs are blocking you? Then you're like, how the f do I get rid of these limiting beliefs, right? Like, you never leave and you're like, okay, I know the playbook, right, for changing. Maybe you have a little tip here

or manifesting tool there. And look, you know, I've written, this is my 10th. books. I have nine other books with other practices, which all work, all are valuable, all have their own purpose, right, particularly spiritual practices in these other books. And they all are bringing you to self for sure. But this is addressing the actual neural redirection in the brain. Because when you practice this four-step method, what's happening is you're rewiring your experience and your relationship to these parts of who you are. You're taking all these little people inside of you that have these belief systems that are holding you back and you're bringing the internal parent of self to them to help them. So it's almost like we have these, we have multiple

personalities or memories or people in us, which is weird to say. We don't even have to say like they're just parts of us, like parts of who we are. Multiple parts of who we are. And there are some parts that are wounded, that we get to heal. And the more of those parts that we can have a a higher relationship with, a more self-to-part connection. Harmonious relationship with. Harmonious is the word, that's right. If you can create a harmonious relationship from the higher self of you to the wounded self parts of you, then things are going to start to flow better in your life. Oh, well, yeah. In every area. Well, because think about it like this. Like, my controller part, I've done so much work with her. You can gender these. You can gender.

these parts of you, they have no gender, they can have the opposite gender. It doesn't, like, sort of whatever is intuitive for you, my parts are female. So, so I have that controller part that you knew for so long, or the anxiety part, right? Even to think about where we were, maybe 10 years ago in these conversations to where I am with you right now. And how much more self-energy you feel in this moment. So it makes me so much to me that you've been there with me. It's been like, what, 13, 14 years? 14 years. 15 years, maybe it's since I've known, yeah. 2008, I met you. And when you first met me, like, I was. was like parts on fire, right? Like, like on, literally on fire. I was a workaholic. Really extreme,

really extreme. I was sober, but like workaholism. I was just extreme anxiety. Didn't know that I had trauma. So I was living in hypervigilance. I was so scared all the time. I was so controlling. I was just like, I was doing, you can still be going through hard things and do beautiful things in the world. Yeah, you still get results in life. Yeah. And do good. But you can, but you might be having a lot of struggle, right? And so as a result of this, this model and what I'm going to teach everybody today and living this and developing this and practicing this and every day being, checking in with these parts of me, checking with these parts of me, I've unburdened them. And so it's not that they go away is that they're not extreme anymore.

Interesting. So the parts that were wounded are still inside of you. They're no longer wounded. They're in their, they're in their beautifully developed chrysalis. They're in their beautifully developed chrysalis. new, for instance, the part of me there was a controller. I mean, that part did good things, right? She wrote 10 books in 14 years, right? Took action, got things done. Yes. But now she can be in the flow, right?

Like, now she can be like, I don't have to force my way to like get this thing to there. I'm like, oh, you know what, Lewis? Like, I'm going to be in L.A. Like, does that work? I'll be there. Like, I can show up with an energy. She's on top.

But she's, but she's trusting. She's not forcing. Not forcing. anything. She's just relaxed, like in the presence. So it's still like, so it's like a really great quality to have that control part present because she gets things done, but without craziness, right? Yeah, right, right. Chaos. So these parts of us that once controlled us or hurt us to try to protect us, because they all had an intention to serve us, but they didn't help the self really at our highest self. They're blocking self. They're blocking self. But they're an

attempt to try to protect us. Totally. These parts of us, when we can have a relationship, a harmonious relationship with them, through healing and mending those wounds, then we can use them for good. That's great. Yeah, you're so great at, like, digesting and bringing it back. Yeah, it's beautiful. That self right there in action, clarity.

Clarity is one of those qualities of cells. So you have such a good job of listening, thinking, pulling it together, and bringing it back. And it sounds like we could, you know, by doing the self-help work, and by following this four-step process that we're to cover in a second and just going through the book, it sounds like when we can start to have a different relationship with these parts of us that have caused us pain and suffering but also try to protect us. If we can start to have a new relationship by mending those relationships, it can get a lot better.

But it doesn't mean those things can come back at some point if we don't keep having a relationship with them in a healthy way. So you might be six months, I feel better, but then something triggers you and you go back to the wounded part of you that says, I don't feel safe. You need to control this. You need to protect this. You need to be a perfectionist in this moment, whatever it is, hyper vigilance. And so it's a constant relationship and a conversation of checking in. It sounds like. It's called the check-in process. Okay, cool. All right, here we go. And I like that because everybody has a few minutes to check in, right, or a few seconds to check in throughout the day. And the simplicity of it being this four steps of checking in with the part makes it such that, you know, you can have this relationship to the part rather than why are you doing this? It's why the pain, right? That's like what Gabramata always says, like, not why the addiction, why the pain?

And so by every moment when you notice a trigger or you have this space in your body to like see, oh, you know, I'm out of alignment right now, in those moments checking in are these moment-to-moment experiences of presence with bringing self to these parts. So I'll break it down for you. So the protector that's freaking out, right? She's freaking out because something isn't going the way she wants, right? So she's the freaking out protector. Actually doing a lot of work with her in therapy right now, so it's nice. And I do IFS therapy, so of course. And she's having a freak out, like, you know, some email isn't good or like the things. aren't working as fast, it seems not working as fast as possible or if she feels like she has a

burden belief, right? This freak out girl, her belief is if I don't do it, nobody else will. Zing. And so she is maybe just like, and she has, also has another, and I'm cursing a lot, but just bleat me, okay? But she has another phrase that she says. She's like, what the fuck is going on here? And when I think about her, I think about, okay, so let me give you the check-in process. So let's say I notice she's coming in, she's showing up. And I'm like, uh, oh, I notice her. I have enough awareness to be like, she's here. She needs help. So I need self to help, self help me. I'll say that again. I need self to help. Self help me. I, you know, have that awareness. I choose to check in. Step one. Choose to check in because, remember, parts are like little children. So if you try to force

something on a little child. Like if I try to go to Ollie and say to him, bro, what the hell is going on? You seem upset. Let's talk about it. He's like, no, mommy. Like, get away, mommy. Right?

So there has to be some buy-in. Okay. So there's some buy-in and I'm going to choose to check in. So is that the adult self choosing to check in or is that the child self choosing to check-in? It's both. Okay. So it's the choice is self-like quality. But the part has to make.

the choice. So it's like what you say with your son, if he's not willing to reciprocate, like saying, let's talk about what's going on and he's like, no, screw you, mommy or whatever he's saying, then that's not a check-in. Both parts need to check in. Yeah, it has to be my presence of self and his willingness. Williness to receive or talk? Openness, yeah. Not that your son would say screw you, mommy, but I'm just saying like, you never know. Yeah, yeah. You never know. It was 16 years old. They might say things like that. Who would say screw you by you? Yeah, yeah.

So choose to check in. So you have this awareness that the parts triggered and you're saying, okay, I'm going to choose to check in right now. So you, you, step one, that's it, choose. And if you know that you feel that buy-in, like, okay, the part's ready to go, we can keep going, right? Choosing to check in is also just sometimes even having the awareness that you need to check in because that's like step one. Step two is curiosity. Become curious. these are all C qualities, remember, right?

So it's like acting as if. And so the curiosity is start, so I'm in this place where the, this manager is up and she's like, what the fuck going on here? I have to do everything. Nobody else will do it. And so I choose to check in with her. And I become curious and I start to notice the feelings and the thoughts and the sensations inside as you're asking her questions, like, where do you feel that in your body?

And she's like, and I'm not breathing. And there's tension in my tension. chest and I start to say, you know, what kind of thoughts or sensations? And her thoughts are like, what the fuck is going on here? Why is this happening? And I ask her for any images or visions. And she shows me my six-year-old self in my dining room with my pigtails and I'm screaming, no bumps, no bumps. Because the only way that I could find control in this out-of-control life that I had was to control the bumps in my pigtails. To make your hair

look perfect or to right. Right. And so she's, so this girl that's now, this adult that's screaming, what the fuck is going on here is the little girl I says the vision she shows me. The little girl screaming no bumps with the pig tails. So I start having all the, I flash out this information about her. You can see I'm like, I could tear up as I think about her. And that connection, can you feel that connection I'm having with her right now?

Yes. That connection shows me that there's some self-energy here. Okay. And so as soon as just start to feel some kind of connection to that part, the third step happens. And by the way, you can spend as much time as you want in curiosity. You could just ask more questions. Let the part speak. The parts want to speak. Step three, compassionate connection. So I can look at that little girl and I can ask her, little Gabby, what do you need right now? And right away, she'll speak back. say, you know, at times she said things like, I need a mom. Or I need to rest.

Or I need to play. I need to scream. I need, you know, they're just speaking for what they need, right? I need to speak up. I need to be heard. And so the little voice gets to speak up and say what they need. And once that response comes through internally, the fourth step is to check for see qualities of self.

So you scan your inner system and you ask yourself, do I feel any connection? Yes, right now in this moment, I just did the check in with little Gabby and I feel connected to her. Do I feel compassion? Holy, right now I feel so much compassion for her. Do I feel clarity? Yes. She just showed me. It's a little girl, right? She showed me exactly where she was. I feel clear what she needs. Do I feel calm? I feel calm, even more calm right now just having done that check-in process out loud with you. Connected. Oh, yes. Courageous, much more courageous. Clarity, I think I said. Confidence. I got confidence. The one that you're remembering now, confidence. Creativity. Yes. Check for C's even if you just have one C quality of self show up.

You feel a little bit more calm. You feel a little bit more compassionate. You feel a little more connected. You've done the four steps. You've done the four steps even if you just get to check in, to choose to check in. Just even the decision to check in for two seconds is the check-in process. Because if you're not starting step one,

then you're just going to stay in fight or flight, you know, control-free anxiety or whatever your manager is doing. Your manager won't have enough of a pause to pivot because the manager is, we can become blended with the managers, which means we believe that we are that, right? Those times in your life when you get so worked up, right, and you're so, that you're like, I am the only one that can do this. Or, you know, the only way to live life is to fight back and tell everybody else that they're wrong. It's the only way to live. And if anybody challenges that, like, they're gone. Right. So we're blended with these parts.

Right. So the only way to start this check-in process is to slightly unblend by choosing to check-in. Interesting. Because otherwise, you are those parts in that moment. Yeah. And there's going to be plenty of times when we're so blended that we can't do the check-in until two hours later, two days later. So you can reflect. You take a nap and sleep.

Yeah. You can check in hours later. You're out of the environment. Most of the time when people start this work, they're going to find themselves in the next day being like, ooh, what happened there? And then just check in, right? But you should start with little, that's why I want to work with managers, because this is about a process, right? It's like making it a habit. Do it with the small moments, right? So like, just this morning, you know, like, or yesterday, right?

I arrived in L.A. I was like kind of overwhelmed by the energy. I didn't love like the view out of my hotel room. This sounds like a luxury problem, but like the energy is really important for me. Yeah, you're staying on a wall or something. I'm staring at like a chase bank. I was like in this.

And then you're like, you know, I want to have a good vibe right now. And so I was seeing that controller come in. And she wasn't too bad, but she did ask my assistant to call five other hotels. And like, you know, very lovingly asked, you know. And at night, and I, she's like, I don't want to ever come back to LA. Like, she's like, and so instead of like, actually, I did fire off an email to my prior team. It was like, cancel an October trip. And then I was like, chill.

Yeah, okay. So I came back and I rewrote an email. I was like, don't cancel the October trip. And then I checked in with her. Wow. Right before. Wow. Okay.

And so she wasn't like, that's just like, this is the day to day thing that normally we're just acting out in these ways and we don't actually, maybe we come out of it because we just got some logic. but we never tend to it. And so I was like, oh, what do you need, honey? And so I just checked in with her and I just heard her and she's like, I just want to feel like warm and safe and I just want to feel like I've got a good energy around me. And what do I need right now? I need to find the right place to land when I get here. And I need to just sort of sort those things out. And I started to feel calmer as I checked those seed qualities. And so this is where the manifesting comes in. Okay. So she's, She calmed down last night, okay? She slept great. That's good. She woke up. She's like, I'm going to see Lewis today.

She worked out. It was like 5 a.m. because I'm on East Coast. I was like, let's go work out. I was feeling great. I sat down here. I makeup done. It was like super chill.

And I'm like, you know, I think my makeup artist who you met Christina. And I was like, you know, Christine? I'm like, I had this whole job yesterday. I'm like, all I really want is like high vibe energy, super connected. I want to find my hotel in Lowe. I have to be out here all the time. I want to just make it my home, like leave a toothbrush. Like, I want that.

And then, like, I'm coming back in October and I really want to have, like, a retreatie vibe for two days because I need to write when I'm here. And it's a weekend when I'm here. I'm like, this is what I want. And I was like, it'll happen. Like, the universe is going to deliver it. I call our mutual friend Jeff Krasno because I was like. Oh, he's got an amazing place. Because I got the hit.

I was like, you know, she's called Jeff, right? He's got the whole commune. But I wasn't even calling Jeff. It's a sanctuary. I was calling him about something totally different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I call Jeff and I'm like, hey, what? And then I was like, oh, you know what?

And then I was like, oh, you know what? I'm like, because you call me about getting on the podcast. And I was like, hey, what, bro? I'm like, wait, when I come in L.A, you're going to be doing a retreat in Topanga. And I was like, wait a second. I'm like, let me come for two days in Tepa. Like, is there a place for me to write? And can I like come do yoga with Skyler?

And can I like, you take your class and eat food with you guys. And he's like, of course you can. And I was like, and then I was like, wait a second. So I just found my two days, my little retreat to go write. right and then I look at my calendar I'm like wait a second I have a podcast interview in tapang on Friday so I'm showing up in Topanga and then I'm on the phone with jeff and he's like you got to call robin burs in she's in L.A call burs right now she's staying at the Soho house I was like wait a second I'm a member at the Soho house there's a soho house here yeah and all the time I thought

there's no hotel so I'm like hold on a second so I call rob and she's like get in the hotel I call the hotel there we one room left get in the hotel I was saving so much money going over to this other hotel that I want to be with with one of my best friends tonight I find my hotel that I want. I mean, it sounds like a stupid luxury thing, but look how fast the manifesting was. And then boom, I was in the flow. Here I am. And I've got this whole next trip in October totally sorted with the trip to Topanga, the hotel that's going to make me feel safe, the community I want to be with, the creative space to do my writing. Now, did a controlling type A person make that happen? No. A creative, calm, connected.

curious, right? Compassionate. We keep forgetting curiosity is self-energy. Curiosity. Compassionate. It was just like curious, right? Curiosity said, let me call Krasno and see if he can do a podcast. And then let me ask me about Topanga, right?

Hello? Sounds stupid, but that, that, but my makeup artist was like, that all just fell into place like a domino in 30 minutes. Like that feels really weird to me. I was like this is how. That was right before I came out. Wow. And so like, but that whole like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

working out the details, that's how life is meant to be. We're meant to be in the flow and the awe and the synchronicity of self. Yes. You talk about in one of your books becoming a super attractor, how can we become a super attractor by applying this method? Because it sounds like you applied the method and you wouldn't have been able to figure this out if you were in stress and control and manager freak out control freak mode, you know, that little part of you is back in that. Like it needs to be a perfect picture. shakedails or whatever. So how can you attract abundantly without managing the parts of us that are wounded? So we wouldn't want to manage the parts of us. We want to bring self. We wouldn't let self help them, right? Just for language purposes.

So it's not managing them. Right, because managers are managing. You can't manage the managers. Yeah, you can't manage. That's correct. Managing the managers is like when the firefighters come in or, you know, that's right. That's managed. You're really getting it. It's so cool. People might have to listen to this. episode twice or read the book, right? Read the book, right? It's all there. So there's no way that you can manifest effortlessly unless you have tended to these protector parts. Because you might have a lot of things that you can create in your life, but you're up or limiting yourself. You're going to hit ceilings, glass ceilings. You won't be able to break through certain levels. Yeah. Because your sheer will can get you some of the way there, you know, whatever. And you may have a little bit of

moments with that creative flow comes in, but then you just sort of block it again or, you know, but to live in the flow, to say it and it will be this morning, I would like a retreat center and a home base in L.A. And 30 seconds later, clarity and curiosity, call Jeff, get curious, bo bo, bo, but bu, but because manifesting isn't about just sitting around. Nothing happens. You're doing. But to be a super attractor and to be a co-creator, you have to dwell in the energy of creativity. You have to be calm. You have to be faithful, right? You have to be connected. You have to be courageous to take the action with that flow energy. You have to be curious about what's possible.

You have to be creative, absolutely creative. Creative, creative, creative. You cannot be judging yourself. You have to be compassionate toward every part of who you are. And so we are all super attractors. We all have self in us. We all have the ability to live with ease no matter what. what our circumstances might be, but there are absolutely some of us who have far more privilege than others. Let's be real about that, right? Like for those of us that are in Western cultures, those of us who can watch this podcast right now, we have privilege. And those of us who have that privilege, it is our responsibility to do the self-help work, to clean up our side of the street, to get more flow in our life, because in that flow, we can serve more people.

Thank you for tuning in. Continue strengthening your mind by listening to our other episodes.