The Resilient Mind - How To Become The Best Version of Yourself - Oprah Winfrey

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

Oprah Winfrey is a media mogul, actress, producer, and philanthropist. She is best known for her talk show, "The Oprah Winfrey Show," which ran from 1986 to 2011 and became one of the highest-rated talk show in television history. Its success helped her become the world’s first Black woman billionaire in 2003. Music: ⁠@SappheirosTake action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download Now⁠⁠  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind Podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to How to Become the Best Version of Yourself, with Oprah Winfrey. Get access to the Mental Mastery Program and other exclusive episodes by becoming a subscriber. Enjoy. What would you say to your younger self? Oh, honey, honey, honey. Oh, baby girl. What the world has in store for you, first of all, it would be relax.

It would be stop being a friend. and it would be everything's going to be all right, no matter what, you're going to be okay. There is not one thing that has ever happened to you. Not one experience, not one encounter, not one crisis, not one joyful thing that hasn't happened just to make you better and help you rise.

Every single thing you're calling in, in whether you know it or not. When you figure out that you are calling it in, when you actually start meditating or praying or doing or having a spiritual practice, which is the number one thing you need if you want to be successful in the world. You need something that gives back and nourishes you, regardless of what you call that. You need to fill your cup so that you can be so full your cup runneth over and you have enough to give to other people. If you don't fill your cup, you end up dried up. You end up tired, exhausted, and don't have enough to give to other people.

You end up resentful every time somebody ask you because your cup is empty and now they want some of yours. So your number one job, your number one job is to fill your cup and make yourself whole. Life has dreamed a dream for you. And your goal, your number one. job is to figure out what that dream is. And align yourself with the dream because the dream can not come to you unless you're willing to meet it energetically in the same place. So if your energy is off, which I say to my girls all the time, they could teach this class right now, on being in flow. If you are not in flow with God's dream for you, with life's dream for you,

If you are out of order, if you are out of sync, it cannot come to you. It will not come. Because the whole purpose of your life is to line yourself up with the purpose. And so if you are operating in fear, if you are operating in jealousy, jealousy will kill you. When you are synced up with life, life just gives to you. It opens doors. It creates experiences. It allows you to meet people. Things show up. You never thought we're going to show up. And you are doing what is the purpose of your soul being here. My life is fueled by my being. And the being fuels the doing. So I come from a centered place. I come from a focused place. I come from compassion. It's just my nature. I come from a willingness to understand

and to be understood. And I come from wanting to connect. I mean, the secret of that show for 25 years is that people could see themselves in me. All over the world, they could see themselves in me. And even as I became more and more financially successful, which was a big surprise to me, I was like, oh my God, this is so exciting.

You mean you got more than that 30,000? I got more than 30,000 by the time I was 30. So my, but what I realized is through the whole process, because I'm grounded in my own self, that although I could have more shoes, my feet stayed on the ground, although I was wearing better shoes. These are kind of cute today, too.

So I could keep my feet on the ground, even though I could get more shoes. And I could understand, I could understand that it really was because I was grounded. I've done the, was doing and continue to this day to do the consciousness work. I work at staying awake. And being awakened is just another word for spirituality, but spirituality throws people off and they think you mean religion. When I was hiring people for my company for own, looking for presidents, when people would come in, I'd say, tell me what is your spiritual practice?

And literally, people would say, well, I'm not religious. I said, I didn't ask you about your religion. I asked you what's your spiritual practice. What do you do to take care of yourself? What do you do to keep yourself centered? What do you do? And, you know, one woman started crying. You know, that's not the person.

So that's a sign. That's a sign. So to answer your question, Everything is fueled that comes from me really wanting to be a better person on earth. And this is what I know to be true. The reason why the show worked is because I understood that that audience, my viewers, the people who watched us every day and would come, and just like you all did, get tickets, and they would come with their family.

You all just came across campus, but that's good too. But people would come from all over the world just to be there with their aunts and their mothers and they'd come with their cousins and there'd be a few men in there going, what the hell? Or saying, well, I went to Oprah with you. I went to Oprah. I'll at least give me clear for three or four weeks. I went to Oprah with you.

I had such regard for that. And I just had a conversation with John Mackey, who runs Whole Foods and has written this fabulous book, you should get it called Conscious Capitalism. And he was talking about how the investment in the stakeholders, the people who you are serving, that connection between the people who you're trying to serve and sell to, is equally as important as the people who you're buying from, equally as important as the people who are, you know, supporting you financially,

as your stockholders, if you are, you know, you know, a public company. So I always understood that there really was no difference between me and the audience. At times, I might have had better shoes. But at the core, the core of what really matters that we are the same. And you know how I know that?

Because all of us are seeking the same thing. You're here at this fabulous school and we'll go out into the world and each pursue based upon what you believe your talents are, what your skills are, maybe your gifts are, but you're seeking the same thing. Everybody wants to fulfill the highest, truest expression of yourself as a human being. That's what you're looking for. The highest, truest expression of yourself as a human being.

And because I understand that, I understand that if you're working in a bakery and that's where you want to be, and that may be what you've always wanted to do is to bake pies for people or bake cakes for people or to offer your gift, then that's for you. And there's no difference between you and me, except that's your platform. That's your show every day. So my understanding of that has allowed me to reach everyone. And there's no way that you wouldn't, because that's what I truly feel. But just these three things. will carry you if you let them. First and foremost, knowing who you are.

Knowing who you are. Being able to answer this question, who am I? And what do I want? You know, many times when I go out of the country, I am baffled by that question to explain what is your occupation. I've stood there for 10 minutes. Well, am I talk shows? Well, I'm born to talk to host.

Am I a businesswoman? I'm a business woman. I'm a business woman. Am I an entrepreneur? I'm more than an entrepreneur. So I just leave it blank or self-employed. So I'm not asking for the roles that you play as daughters. I'm not asking that question.

What are the roles that you play? As a daughter, as a friend, as a sister. You're going to be a lawyer. You're going to teach. You're going to be a pharmacist. I'm asking the bigger question of who am. I? Who am I really? My answer is I am God's child. I am that which is born of all that is. I am, as Pierre de Chardin said, a spiritual being having a human experience. Come trailing the breath of the ancestors yet,

but trailing the breath of the angels. And understanding, that because I am connected to the source of all that is, all that is possible is possible for me. That's who I am. And what do I want? I don't want to just be successful in the world. I don't want to just make a mark or have a legacy. The answer to that question for me is, I want to fulfill the highest, truest expression of myself as a human being.

I want to fulfill the promise that the creator dreamed when he dreamed the cells that made up me. What do I want? You must have some kind of vision. for your life. Even if you don't know the plan, you have to have a direction in which you choose to go. I never was the kind of woman who like to get in a car and just go for a ride. I had a boyfriend would say, let's just go for a ride. I want to know, where are we going? Do we have a destination? Is there a plan? Are we just riding?

What I've learned is that's a great metaphor for life. You want to be in the driver's seat of your own life because if you're not, life will drive you. So, knowing who you really are in this space and time that we embody, that's number one. What do you want? Who are you?

Number two, you must find a way to serve. Martin Luther King said that not everybody can be famous, but everybody can be great because greatness is determined by service. Now we live in a world where everybody wants to be famous and where we admire people for just being famous. We think being known brings us value. The truth is all of that will fade in time. In three years, you won't be able to name the housewives of Atlanta.

The real truth is that service and significance, service and the significance that you bring to your service is that which is lasting. So to be able to, whatever your occupation or job or talent or gift is, Our honorees today, getting doctor degrees, two apparently opposite fields, HIV and AIDS, and the spoken word. But what they have in common is service, using the spoken word in service to community and the world,

using your knowledge and information about HIV and AIDS and medicine in service to the world. And if you look at all the most successful people, successful people in the world. Whether they know it or not, they have that paradigm of service. Everybody's talking about Mark Zuckerberg and IPO. Service. J. Z. Raffin.

Service through the word, two people, through song. For many years, I was really just happy to be on TV, and people would stop and say, oh, you're on TV? Yeah, I'm on TV. I like being on TV. It's a nice job. And it was about the time that I received my honorary doctorate from Spellman around 1993, so I don't know if that had something to do with it.

I thought of myself as Dr. Winfrey. That I went back and I took a long look at what it was I was doing on TV. And made a decision that I was no longer going to just be on TV, but I was going to use TV as a platform, as a force for good, and not be used by TV. And I will tell you, my decision to make that significant change in the way I operated on television, using television as a service, changed my career exponentially. service through medicine, service through art. Using whatever it is you produce your product as a way of giving back to the world.

When you shift the paradigm of whatever it is you choose to do to service and you bring significance to that, success will, I promise you, follow you. Service and significance equals success. That's number two. Number three, it's so simple but so hard to do. Always do the right thing. Always. Be excellent.

People notice. Think of how you notice. You go to Taco Bell, somebody gives you extra napkin and some sauce. You notice. You notice. You want to go back to that person. Because even at Taco Bell, excellence shows itself. Be excellent.

Let excellence be your brand. Everybody talks about building a brand. I never even knew what that was. When people say, you're a brand, I would say, no, I'm just Oprah. What I recognize now is that my choice to every, in every way, in every example, in every experience to do the right thing and the excellent thing is what has created the brand. Years ago, I did an ad for Revlon, for an ad they were doing called Unforgetable Women. And what I know is that when you are excellent, you become unforgettable.

People remember you, you stand out, regardless of what it is. You become an unforgettable woman, and that is what we all want. We want to be unforgettable and not forgetable. So doing the right thing, even when nobody knows you're doing the right thing, will always bring the right thing to you. I promise you that. Why? Because the third law of motion is always at work. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

That is so true in all of our lives. That's what Newton said. Seeley in the color purple said it, everything you even try to do to me, already done to you. Everything you even try to do to me, already done to you. So you don't have to worry about revenge

or getting back at somebody, making sure they pay, you just have to do the right thing, and the right thing will follow you even when people don't support it. I remember many times on my show. There are many shows y'all never saw. And the reason you didn't see them

is because I got the last vote. And I remember 2010, My team, hardest working team in television, had done this interview with a woman who turns out she was a Sunday school teacher by day and a sex addict at night. Ooh. They were like, you won't believe it. We got her going out. We got her with the men. And we get to show her and she was willing to show us everything.

I sat down with a woman for an interview that was taped. and during the process of the interview, I said, why are you doing this? And she said, oh, I want to help people. I want to tell my story, and I want to help people. I said, do you have children? She says, yes, I have a 10-year-old son. I knew right then this is never going to see the light of day.

So we got off the air, and I said to the lady, we are not going to air that show. And she said, why? My producer said, why? She knew she was being filmed. She knew what she was saying. She knows what you. I said because her son will never get over it.

Her son will never get over it. And it's not worth a rating point to me. Not worth a rating point to me to know that there's a 10-year-old boy who's destroyed because his mother went on the Oprah Winfrey show. and told all her business. You do the right thing even when other people think it may not be. And oftentimes, when you make a decision

to do the right thing, immediately you're faced with doubt. Was that the right thing? Was that the right decision? I don't know. Was that the right thing? You always know it's the right thing when in the end there is peace.

You are rewarded by peace in knowing that you did the right thing. The most important thing I have come to know in doing the right thing and making the right choices is understanding what we talked about yesterday. All of you leaving here have the potential for enormous success. There's a price that comes with that. People don't always like you. and they're not always happy for you. And if you surround yourself with people

who are not accustomed to your success, they become fearful, they become scared because you are reflecting back something to them that they don't recognize. Now they're not gonna say, you know, I'm very fearful because you're reflecting back to me, something I don't recognize. They're going to say,

You know what they're going to say. They're going to say who she thinks she is. Who she thinks she is? That only happens when you are around people who do not mean and want and aspire to the best for you. People who want the best for you want you to be your best. So my greatest advice to you is to surround yourself with people who are going to fill your cup until your cup runneth over. So when people say you're so full of yourself, you can say, yeah.

Yes, I'm full. I'm so full, my cup runneth over. And to know that once your cup runneth over, you cannot spend your life with your gallon-sized offerings, offering them to pint-sized people. You have got to surround yourself with gallon-sized people who can hang in the same company with you so that you're not offering your gallons

to those little pints out there who can't hold it anyway. Choice to change the world. I love that song. I love hearing you all sing that song. And what I know for sure is that the biggest choices begin and end with you, your internal big questions. Who do I want to be in the world? My relationship to source energy, to all that is God.

I'm not talking about what you believe in God. I'm talking about your experience of that which is all life, which is divine and universal. I'm talking about the big deal, being connected and aligned with that. When you are tuned in and charged into that, whenever you feel empty, you go inside yourself and you connect to the source and you know that all things are possible. To know that and to choose to do the right thing in service and significance, I promise you, you will create a vessel of service for yourself first, because you have to honor yourself first.

You have to give to yourself first, otherwise you have nothing to give away. You will create a vessel for yourself, for your family, your community, and the world. And those three things will not only lead you to a blessed life, I stand. as a witness, my life is so blessed, I can't even take it in sometimes. It will lead you not just to a gifted life and a rewarding life that fills you up, but a sweet life. That's what you want. Sweetness. You want it to be so sweet so that even when the storms come and they will, you'll know this too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. The storm is passing over and you shall not be moved because you know who you are.

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