The Resilient Mind - How To Love Yourself - Louise Hay

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Louise Hay, known as a pioneer in the self-help movement and even referred to as "a living saint" by the Australian media, made a name for herself with the publication of her debut book "Heal Your Body" in 1976. This book delves into the connection between the mind and body, a topic that wasn't commonly discussed at the time.Take action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download Now⁠⁠  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind Podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to How to Love Yourself with Louise Hay. Get access to the Mental Mastery Program and other exclusive episodes by becoming a subscriber. Enjoy. I don't want to be fat. I don't want to be broke. I don't want to be old. I don't want to live here. I don't want to have this relationship. I don't want to be like my mother or father. I don't want to be stuck in this job. I don't want to have this hair, this nose, this body. I don't want to be lonely.

I don't want to be unhappy. I don't want to be sick. What you put your attention on grows. These statements show how we are culturally taught to fight the negative mentally. Thinking that if we do so, the positive will automatically come to us. It doesn't work that way. How often have you lamented about what? what you didn't want. Did it ever bring you what you really wanted? Fighting the negative

is a total waste of time if you really want to make changes in your life. The more you dwell on what you don't want, the more of it you create. The things about yourself or your life that you've always disliked are probably still with you. What you put your attention on grows and becomes permanent in your life. Move away from the negative and put your attention on what it is you really do want to have or be. Let's turn those negative affirmations into positive affirmations. I am slender. I am prosperous. I am eternally young. I now move to a better place. I have a wonderful new relationship. I am my own person. I am filled with love and affection.

I am joyous and happy and free. I am totally healthy. Learn to think in positive affirmations. Affirmations are any statements you make. Too often, we think in negative affirmations. Negative affirmations only create more of what you say you don't want. Saying, I hate my job, will get you nowhere. declaring I now accept a wonderful new job will open the channels in your consciousness to create that.

Continuously make positive statements about how you want your life to be. However, there is one point that is very important. Always make your statements in present tense, such as I am or I have. Your subconscious mind is such an obedient servant that if you're a very important, that if you're If you declare in future tense I want or I will have, then that is where it will always stay, just out of your reach in the future. The process of loving the self. As I have said before, no matter what the problem, the main issue to work on is loving the self. This is the magic wand that dissolves problems.

Remember the times when you have felt good about yourself and how well your life was going? Remember the times when you were in love and for those periods you seem to have no problems? Well, loving yourself is going to bring such a surge of good feelings and good fortune to you that you will be dancing on air. Loving yourself makes you feel good. It's impossible to really love yourself unless you have self-approval and self-acceptance. This means no criticism whatsoever. Oh, I can hear all the objections right now, but I've always criticized myself.

How can I possibly like that about myself? My teachers, parents, lovers always criticized me. How will I be motivated? But it is wrong for me to do these things. How am I going to change if I don't criticize myself? Training the mind. Self-criticisms like these are just the mind going on with old chatter. See how you've trained.

change your mind to berate you and be resistant to change. Ignore those thoughts and get on with the important work at hand. Let's go back to an exercise we did earlier. Look into the mirror again and say, I love and approve of myself exactly as I am. How does that feel now? Is it a little easier after the forgiveness work we have done? This is still the main issue.

self-approval and self-acceptance are the keys to positive changes. In the days when my own self-denial was so prevalent, I would occasionally slap my own face. I didn't know the meaning of self-acceptance. My belief in my own lacks and limitations was stronger than anything anyone else could say to the contrary. If someone told me I was loved, my immediate reaction was, why? What could they possibly see in me? Or the classic thought, if they only knew what I was really like inside,

they wouldn't love me. I was not aware that all good begins with accepting that which is within oneself and loving that self, which is you. It took quite a while to develop a peaceful, loving relationship with myself. First, I used to hunt for the little things about myself.

thought were good qualities. Even this helped and my own health began to improve. Good health begins with loving the self. So do prosperity and love and creative self-expression. Later I learned to love and approve of all of me, even those qualities I thought were not good enough. That was when I really began to make progress. Exercise. I approve of myself. I have I have given this exercise to hundreds of people, and the results are phenomenal. For the next month, say over and over and over to yourself. I approve of myself. I approve of myself. Do this three or four hundred times a day, at least.

No, it's not too many times. When you are worrying, you go over your problem at least that many times. Let I approve of myself. become a walking mantra, something you just say over and over and over to yourself, almost non-stop. Saying I approve of myself is guaranteed to bring up everything buried in your consciousness that is in opposition. When the negative thought comes up like, how can you approve of yourself when you are fat, or it's silly to think this can do any good, or you're no good, or whatever your negative babble will be, This is the time to take mental control.

Give it no importance. Just see the thought for what it is, another way to keep you stuck in the past. Gently say to this thought, I let you go, I approve of myself. Even considering doing this exercise can bring up a lot of stuff, like it feels silly or it doesn't feel true, or it's a lie, it sounds stuck up, or how can I approve of myself when I do that?

Just let them all pass through. These are only resistance thoughts. They have no power over you unless you choose to believe them. I approve of myself. I approve of myself. I approve of myself. No matter what happens, no matter who says what to you, no matter who does what to you, just keep it going.

In fact, when you can say that to yourself, when someone is doing something you don't approve of, you will know you are growing and changing. Thoughts have no power over us unless we give it to them. Thoughts are only words strung together. They have no meaning whatsoever. Only we give meaning to them, and we choose what sort of meaning we give to them.

Let us choose to think thoughts that nourish and support us. Part of self-acceptance is releasing other people, people's opinions. If I were with you and kept telling you, you are a purple pig, you are a purple pig, you are a purple pig, you would either laugh at me or get annoyed with me and think I was crazy. It would be most unlikely that you would think it was true. Yet many of the things we have chosen to believe about ourselves are just as far out and untrue. To believe that your self-worth is dependent on the shape of your body is your version of believing that you are a purple pig. Often what we think of as the things wrong with us are only our expressions of our own individuality.

This is our uniqueness and what is special about us. Nature never repeats itself. Since time began on this planet, there have never been two snowflakes alike, nor two raindrops the same. same. And every daisy is different from every other daisy. Our fingerprints are different, and we are different. We are meant to be different. When we can accept this, then there is no competition and no comparison. To try to be like another is to shrivel our soul. We have come to this planet to express who we are. I didn't even know who I was until I was. Until I was, I began to learn to love myself as I am in this moment. Put your awareness into practice.

Think thoughts that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make you feel good. Eat things that make your body feel good. Go at a pace that makes you feel good. Think for a moment of a tomato plant. A healthy plant can have over a hundred tomatoes on it. In order to get this tomato plant with all these tomatoes on it,

we need to start with a small, dried seed. That seed doesn't look like a tomato plant. It doesn't taste like a tomato plant. However, let's say you plant this seed in fertile soil and you water it and let the sunshine on it. And when the first tiny little shoot comes up, you don't stomp on it and say, that's not a tomato plant. Rather, you look at it and say, oh boy,

Here it comes and you watch it grow with delight. In time, if you continue to water it and give it lots of sunshine and pull away any weeds, you might have a tomato plant with more than a hundred tomatoes on it. And it all began with that one tiny seed. It is the same with creating a new experience for yourself. The soil you plant in is your subconscious mind. The seed is the new affirmation. The whole new experience is in this tiny seed,

and you water it with repetitions. You let the sunshine of positive thoughts beam on it. You weed the garden by pulling out the negative thoughts that come up. And when you see the first tiniest little evidence, you don't say, that's not enough. Instead, you look at this first breakthrough and you say with glee, oh boy, here it comes, it's working. and then you watch it grow and become your desire in manifestation.

All good begins with accepting that which is within oneself and loving that self which is you. It took quite a while to develop a peaceful, loving relationship with myself. First, I used to hunt for the little things about myself I thought were good qualities. Even this helped, and my own health began. to improve. Good health begins with loving the self. So do prosperity and love and creative self-expression. Later, I learned to love and approve of all of me, even those qualities I thought were not good enough. That was when I really began to make progress. Exercise. I approve of myself. I have given this exercise to hundreds of people and the results are phenomenal. For the next month, say over and over and over to yourself.

I approve of myself. I approve of myself. Do this three or four hundred times a day, at least. No, it's not too many times. When you are worrying, you go over your problem at least that many times. Let I approve of myself become a walking mantra, something you just say over and over and over to you. yourself almost non-stop saying I approve of myself is guaranteed to bring up everything buried in

your consciousness that is in opposition when the negative thought comes up like how can you approve of yourself when you are fat or it's silly to think this can do any good or you're no good or whatever your negative babble will be this is the time to take mental control give it no importance just see the thought for what it is, another way to keep you stuck in the past. Gently say to this thought, I let you go, I approve of myself. Even considering doing this exercise can bring up a lot of stuff, like it feels silly or it doesn't feel true or it's a lie, it sounds stuck up, or how can I approve of myself when I do that?

Just let them all pass through. These are only resistance thoughts. They have no power over you unless you choose to believe them. I approve of myself. I approve of myself. I approve of myself. No matter what happens, no matter who says what to you, no matter who does what to you, just keep it going.

In fact, when you can say that to yourself, when someone is doing something you don't approve of, you will know you are growing and changing. Thoughts have no power over us unless we give it to them. Thoughts are only words strung together. They have no meaning whatsoever. Only we give meaning to them. And we choose what sort of meaning we give to them.

Let us choose to think thoughts that nourish and support us. Part of self-acceptance is releasing other people's opinions. If I were with you and kept telling you, you are a purple pig, you are a purple pig, you are a purple pig, you are a purple pig, you would either laugh at me or get annoyed with me and think I was crazy. It would be most unlikely that you would think it was true. Yet many of the things we have chosen to believe about ourselves are just as far out and untrue. To believe that your self-worth is dependent on the shape of your body is your version of believing that you are a purple pig. Often what we think of as the things wrong with us are only our expressions of our own individuality.

This is our uniqueness and what is special about us. Nature never repeats itself. Since time began on this planet, there have never been two snowflakes alike, nor two raindrops the same. And every daisy is different from every other day. Our fingerprints are different, and we are different. We are meant to be different. When we can accept this,

then there is no competition and no comparison. To try to be like another is to shrivel our soul. We have come to this planet to express who we are. I didn't even know who I was until I began to learn to love myself as I am in this place. am in this moment. Put your awareness into practice. Think thoughts that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make you feel good. Eat things that make your body feel good. Go at a pace that makes you feel good. Think for a moment of a tomato plant. A healthy plant can have

over a hundred tomatoes on it. In order to get this tomato plant with all these tomatoes, tomatoes on it, we need to start with a small dried seed. That seed doesn't look like a tomato plant. It doesn't taste like a tomato plant. However, let's say you plant this seed in fertile soil and you water it and let the sunshine on it. And when the first tiny little shoot comes up, you don't stomp on it and say that's not a tomato plant. Rather, you look at it and say, oh boy, here it comes and you watch it grow with delight. In time, if you continue to water it and give it lots of sunshine and pull away any weeds, you might have a tomato plant with more than a hundred tomatoes on it. And it all began with that one tiny seed. It is the same with creating a new experience for yourself. The soil you plant in is your

subconscious mind. The seed is the new affirmation. The whole new experience. The whole new experience. is in this tiny seed, and you water it with repetitions. You let the sunshine of positive thoughts beam on it. You weed the garden by pulling out the negative thoughts that come up. And when you see the first tiniest little evidence, you don't say, that's not enough. Instead, you look at this first breakthrough, and you say with glee, oh boy, here it comes, it's working.

And then you watch it grow and become your daughter. desire in manifestation. You then think about criticism, and you realize that as a child, you received a lot of criticism. And that little kid inside of you only feels at home when it's being criticized. Your way of hiding from this had become creating a smokescreen. Perhaps you see the next step as affirming, I am willing to forgive. And as you continue to do your affirmations, you may find that cigarettes no longer attract you, and the people in your life no longer criticize you. Then you know you have released your need.

This usually takes a little while to work out. If you are gently persistent and are willing to give yourself a few quiet moments each day to reflect on your process of change, you will give. get the answers. The intelligence within you is the same intelligence that created this entire planet. Trust your inner guidance to reveal to you whatever it is you need to know. In a workshop situation, I would have you do the following exercise with a partner. However, you can do it equally as well, using a big mirror. Think for a moment about something in your life you want to change.

At the mirror, look into your eyes and say aloud, I now realize that I have created this condition, and I am now willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that is responsible for this condition. Say it several times with feeling. If you were with a partner, I would have your partner tell you if they really thought you meant it. I would want you to convince your partner.

Ask yourself if you really mean it. Convince yourself in the mirror that this time you are ready to step out of the bondage of the past. At this point, many people get scared because they don't know how to do this releasing. They're afraid to commit themselves. until they know all the answers. That's only more resistance. Just pass through it. One of the great things is

that we do not have to know how. All we need is willingness. The universal intelligence or your subconscious mind will figure out the hows. Every thought you think and every word you speak is being responded to and the point of power is in this moment. in this moment. The thoughts you are thinking and the words you are declaring at this moment are

creating your future. Your mind is a tool. You are much more than your mind. You may think your mind runs the show, but that is only because you have trained your mind to think in this way. You can also untrain and retrain this tool of yours. Your mind is a tool for for you to use in any way you wish. The way you now use your mind is only a habit, and any habit can be changed if we want to do so. Quiet the chatter of your mind for a moment and really think about this concept.

Your mind is a tool you can choose to use any way you wish. The thoughts you choose to think create the experiences you have. If you believe that it is hard or difficult, difficult to change a habit or a thought, then your choice of this thought will make it true for you. If you would choose to think it's becoming easier for me to make changes, then your choice of this thought will make that true for you. There is an incredible power and intelligence within you, constantly responding to your thoughts and your words. As you learn to control your mind by the conscious choice of thoughts. You align yourself with this power. Do not think your mind is in

control. You are in control of your mind. You use your mind. You can stop thinking those old thoughts. When your old thinking tries to come back, saying it's so hard to change, take mental control. Tell your mind, I now choose to believe it is a becoming easier for me to make changes. You may have this conversation with your mind several times before it will acknowledge that you are in control and that what you say goes. The only thing you ever have any control of is your current thought. Your old thoughts are gone. There is nothing you can do about them except live out the experiences they cause. Your future thoughts have not been informed and you do not know what they will be. Your current thought, the one you're thinking right now, is totally under your control.

You know, if you have a little child who has been allowed to stay up as late as it wishes for a long time, and then you make a decision that you now want this child to go to bed at eight every night, what do you think the first night will be like? The child will rebel against this new rule and may kick and scream and do its best to stay up. out of bed. If you relent at this time, the child wins and will try to control you forever. However, if you calmly stick to your decision and firmly insist that this is the new bedtime, the rebelling will get less and less. In a few nights, the new routine will be established. It is the same with your mind. Of course it'll rebel at first. It does not want to be retrained, but you are in control

and if you stay focused and firm in a very short time the new way of thinking is established and you will realize that you are not a helpless victim of your thoughts but rather a master of your own mind let's do an exercise letting go

close your eyes take a deep breath as you exhale allow all the tension to leave your body. Let your scalp and your forehead and your face relax. Let your tongue and your throat and your shoulders relax. Let your back and your abdomen and your pelvis relax.

Let your breathing be at peace as you relax your legs and feet. Is there a big change in your body? Notice how much you hold on. If you are doing it with your body, you're doing it with your mind. In this relaxed, comfortable position, say with me, I am willing to let go. I release all tension. I release all fear.

I release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of all old limitations. I let go and I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life. I am safe.

Repeat this exercise several times. Feel the ease of letting go. Repeat it whenever you feel thoughts of difficulty coming up. It takes practice for the routine to become a part of you. Place yourself in this peaceful state first, and it becomes easy for your affirmations to take hold. You become open and receptive. There is no need to struggle or stress or strain.

Just relax and think the appropriate thoughts. I assure you it is this easy. Physical releasing. Sometimes we need to experience. of physical letting go. Experiences and emotions become locked in the body. Screaming in the car with all the windows rolled up can be very releasing if we've been stifling our verbal expression. Beating the bed or kicking pillows is a harmless way to release pent-up anger, as is playing tennis or running. A while ago I had a pain in my shoulder for a day or two, and I tried to ignore it,

but it wouldn't go away. Finally, I sat down and I asked myself, what's happening here? What am I feeling? It feels like burning, burning, burning. That means anger. What are you angry about? I couldn't think what I was angry about.

So I said, well, let's see if we can find out. And I put two large pillows on the bed, and I began to hit them with a lot of energy. And after about 12 hits, I realized exactly what I was angry about. It was so clear. So I beat the pillows even harder and made some noise and released the emotions from my body.

And when I got through, I felt much better. And the next day, my shoulder was fine. Letting the past hold you back. Some people tell me they cannot enjoy today because of something that happened in the past. Because they did not do something or do it in a certain way, they cannot live a full life today. Because they no longer have something,

they had in the past they cannot enjoy today. Because they were hurt in the past, they will not accept love now. Because something unpleasant happened when they did something once, they are sure it will happen again today. Because they once did something that they're sorry for, they are sure they are bad people forever.

Because once someone did something to them, it is now all the other person's fault that their life is not where they want it to be. Because they became angry over a situation in the past, they will hold on to that self-righteousness. Because of some very old experience where they retreated badly, they will never forgive and forget. Because I did not get invited to the high school prom,

I cannot enjoy life today. Because I did poorly at my first audition, I will be terrified of auditions forever. Because I am no longer married, I cannot live a full life today. Because my first relationship ended, I can no longer be open to love. Because I was hurt by a remark once, I will never trust anyone again. Because I stole something once, I must punish myself forever. Because I was poor as a child, I will never get anywhere.

What we often refuse to realize is that holding on to the point, past, no matter what it was or how awful it was, is only hurting us. They really don't care. Usually they are not even aware. We are only hurting ourselves by refusing to live this moment to the fullest. The past is over and done and cannot be changed. Even when we grunge about the past, we experience our memory of it in this moment, and we lose the real experience of this moment in the process. Exercise, releasing. Let us now clean up the past in our minds. Release the emotional attachment to it. Allow the memories to be just memories. If you think back to what you used to wear in the third grade, usually there is no emotional attachment. It's just a memory. And it can be the

same for all the past events in our lives. As we let go, we become free to use all of our mental power to enjoy this moment and to create a grand future. You just listen to How to Love Yourself with Louise Hay. Continue strengthening your mind by checking out our other episodes. Don't forget to follow and subscribe.