The Resilient Mind - How Words Shape Your Life - Louise Hay

Episode Date: July 23, 2023

Louise Hay, known as a pioneer in the self-help movement and even referred to as "a living saint" by the Australian media, made a name for herself with the publication of her debut book "Heal Your Body" in 1976. This book delves into the connection between the mind and body, a topic that wasn't commonly discussed at the time.Take action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download Now⁠⁠ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to How Words Shape Your Life with Louise Hay. Get access to the Mental Mastery Program and other exclusive episodes by becoming a subscriber. Enjoy. I wanted to talk tonight about the power of our spoken word. The power of our spoken word. What does that mean? What does that mean?

Are you aware of how very important your words are? How important your thoughts are and how important your words are? Very important. Now words, words, words. We use them all the time and we babble away, seldom thinking of anything. We don't even know what we're saying half the time or how we're saying things. And we pay little attention to the selection of our words. You know, as children, we were taught grammar.

We were to talk to select words according to the rules of grammar. However, I always found that the rules of grammar continuously changed, and what was improper at one time is proper at another time or vice versa. And sometimes what is slang at one time becomes common usage later on. But what grammar does not take into consideration is the meaning of the word and how it affects our lives. How do the words affect our lives? See, I was never taught at school

that my choice of words would have anything to do with what I would experience in life. See, nobody taught me that my thoughts were creative, that my thoughts could literally shape my life. Nobody taught me that what I gave out would return to me, whatever I was giving to other people. See, the golden rule, remember, was never,

meant to cause guilt. It was to show us a very basic law of life. What you give out comes back to you. Nobody ever taught me that I was worth loving. Nobody ever taught me that I deserved good. And nobody taught me that life was here to support me. Now, as a child, I remember, we would often call each other cruel and hurtful names and try to belittle each other. But why wouldn't we? look at where we learned them. Look where we learn such behavior. Many of us were told repeatedly by our parents that we were stupid and dumb and ugly, a nuisance, not good enough. Sometimes we were told they wish that we had never been born, etc. And we cringed when we heard these words, but we didn't realize how deep-seated that pain would become. Nor did we realize that we were good children and being could children, we too would pick up the same habit of calling ourselves the same things and treating ourselves in the same way. Too often we have accepted early messages of don't exist, don't exist, or conditional don't exist. Sometimes like, you know, eat your spinach, clean your room

or make your bed, and then we'll love you. And you get the idea that you're acceptable if you do certain things, but that acceptance is always according to something else, and it has nothing to do with deep inner self-worth. You get the idea that you can exist only if you do these things and you don't have permission to exist otherwise. These early messages contribute to what I call self-talk, the way we talk to ourselves. And the way we talk to ourselves is really important because it becomes the basis of our spoken word. It sets up the mental atmosphere that we operate in and that attracts to us experiences.

If we belittle ourselves, life is going to mean very little to us. And if we love and appreciate ourselves, then life can be a wonderful, wonderful present. It's really up to us. If our life is unhappy or we're unfulfilled, it's very easy to just blame our parents, or them, the famous them, and say it's all their fault. But if we do that, we stay stuck in our problems. These words will not bring us freedom.

If we do that, how are we going to find our power? Remember, our power is in our words. Our power comes from taking responsibility for our lives. I know it sounds scary to be responsible for our lives, but you know we really are, whether we accept that or not, because the thoughts we think and the words we speak are constantly creating our future. Our beliefs shape our life.

So we need to take responsibility for our lives in the here and now. And if you really want to be responsible for your life, then you've got to be responsible for your mouth. The things we say are extensions of our thoughts. Now, what is the first thing that you say to yourself in the morning when you wake up? And the second thing and the third thing. Most people say more or less the same thing all the time in the morning. how does that start your day? Is that a positive way to start your day?

Or is it grumbling and complaining? Because if you grumble and complain and moan, then that's the sort of day you're going to have. You're setting yourself up for it. What's the last thought you think at night before you go to bed? See, you're shaping your future. And are they power thoughts or are they poverty thoughts? Remember, poverty is not just the lack of money.

It can be the lack of anything in your life, any part of your life that is not flowing freely. So your normal way of thinking, are you really into poverty thoughts or are you into power thoughts? I remember when I first heard that I could change my life if I was willing to change my thinking. And that was quite a revolutionary idea. This was in New York City when I first discovered the Church of Religious Science, Science of Mind. They were the very first people that told me that. And even though I didn't understand what they meant, it sort of rang a bell. It touched what I call the inner ding within me.

You know that place of intuition? I've learned to follow that because when that ding goes, yes, even if it sounds very crazy, I know that it's right for me. So this idea was right for me. It struck a chord in me. Something said, yes, they're right. And then I began the adventure of learning how to change my thinking. You know, you get the idea and you say yes, and then you get to go through the hows.

Well, I read a lot of books. I took a lot of classes, and I explored everything I could. And I really delved into science of mind at the time, because that was an avenue that was open for me, and I found it really wonderful. And at first it was sort of easy, you know, and I grasped a few concepts, and I started to think and talk a little bit differently. And I no longer was complaining quite so much. I was a great complainer, and I was great into self-pity in those days. That was one of my things that I just loved.

I didn't know that all it was doing was creating more experiences for me to pity myself over. But then I didn't know in those days. Remember, no matter where you are in life, no matter what you've contributed to creating, no matter what's happening, you're always doing the best you can with the understanding and awareness and knowledge that you have. And when you know more, you'll do it differently. So never ever please berate yourself for where you were or even where you are. You know, say to yourself, you're doing the best you can. But, you know, we're in a pickle now and we want to get out of it. So let's find. out what's the best way to do it. Because if all you do is tell yourself that you're stupid, then you stay stuck. You need loving support if you want to make changes. I started to watch some of what I said, and I became aware of my self-criticism, and I tried to stop it.

And I began to babble affirmations without quite knowing what they meant. And a few small changes began to take place, and I started to take place. And I started to stop it. place and I started doing with the easy ones of course I got the green lights and the parking places and boy did I think I was hot stuff oh wow I thought I knew it all and I very soon became very cocky and arrogant and dogmatic in my beliefs and feeling I knew all the answers but it was my way of feeling safe in this new area that I was moving through because you know when you start to move away from some of your rigid old beliefs especially if you've been into

control forever in order to feel safe, it's very scary to move out and start trusting an affirmation. I mean, this is, you know, a thought that's going through your mind and you're trusting it to change your life? That's a very scary thing to do. So I was grasping onto things. And yet it was a beginning, it was a beginning for me, and I still had a long way to go. And like most of us, I didn't find the pathway always easy and smooth because just back abling affirmations didn't always work. And I couldn't understand why. What was I doing wrong?

Immediately, right? You go for yourself. What am I doing wrong? Was this one more example of me not being good enough? My favorite old one? I remember my teacher at the time used to mention to me resentment. And I didn't have the faintest idea of what he was talking about. Me? Surely I didn't have any resentments. I mean, after all, I was on the pathway. I was spiritually perfect. Little I could see of myself then. But I continued with my life and I continued doing the best thing I could. And I studied metaphysics and spirituality and myself as much as I could. I grasped what I could and sometimes I applied it. You know, we know a lot of things that we grasp them, but we don't always practice. We don't always practice. We don't always. always use them. And at that point, I'd been into it for two or three years. You know, time goes by very quickly. I was beginning to teach it. I had become a practitioner with Science of Mind. And I wondered now and then why my students seemed to be so stuck. Why were they so stuck in their problems? I gave them so much good advice. Why weren't they using it and getting well? Why

weren't they living it? It never dawned on me that I was talking the truth more than I was living it. It was sort of like being a parent that tells you what to do and then does exactly the opposite or doesn't practice what they're talking about. And then one day, seemingly out of the blue, I was diagnosed, that's a very scary word we hear so much of these days, I was diagnosed with cancer. And I knew too much by then to hide from myself any longer. I knew that cancer was a disease of resentment that literally is held for a very long time till it eats away at the body. You see, when we stuff things down inside of us, it has to go somewhere. And if we spend a lifetime of stuffing things down. It's going to manifest at some point somewhere. And of course,

I became very aware then what the resentment within me could be about. I had been a very badly, physically and sexually abused child. And of course I'd have resentment. Of course I would be bitter and unforgiving. Why wouldn't I? I had never, ever done any work to change it or to release it or to let it go. When I left home, it was was all I could do to just no longer think of that stuff and try to put it behind me. And when I found my spiritual pathway, I covered my feelings up or whatever was down there. I covered with a nice layer of spirituality. And I'd put such a wall around myself that I literally was totally out of touch with my own feelings.

I didn't know who I was or where I was. But after my diagnosis, my inner work of beginning to get. to know myself really began at that point. Thank God I had tools to work with. Because I know what the panic is when you're first diagnosed and you don't know what to do. But I had guidance and I had tools to work with and I knew that I needed to go within me if I was going to make any permanent changes. Yes, the doctor could give me an operation and perhaps take care of that for the moment. But if I didn't change what was going on inside, of me. If I didn't change the way I was using my thoughts and my words, I probably

recreate it again. So no longer was I content to get green lights in the parking places. I knew that I had to go much, much deeper. And I realized that I was not really progressing in my life the way I wanted to because I hadn't really cleared out this old garbage from childhood. And I wasn't living with what I was teaching. My inner child really needed help because my inner child was in great pain and I needed to recognize that and work with her. But thank God I had these tools to work with and I knew what to do. And I began a program of self-healing in earnest. One of the first things I remember I did was to begin studying and reading everything I could about alternative ways to heal cancer because I truly believed it could be done.

And yes, I did a nutritional cleansing program, which was very good for my body. I did affirmations. I did treatments. I did visualizations. I worked in every way that I could. And I also went to a good therapist who was skilled in helping people express and release their angers. And I spent a whole period of beating pillows and kicking and screaming. And it was wonderful.

It felt so good because I'd never, ever, ever had permission to do that in my life. and we also worked on understanding and on forgiveness. You know, no matter what avenue of spirituality you follow, you will find always that forgiveness is an enormous issue at any time, but most particularly when there's an illness. Even the course in miracle says that all dis-ease comes from a state of non-forgiveness. and when we are ill, we need to look around and see who it is, we need to forgive. And it's usually that very person that we think we will never forgive.

But of course, not forgiving someone else doesn't harm them in the slightest, but it plays havoc with us. It plays havoc with us. Because the issues aren't theirs. The issues are ours. So one of the things I did was I explored my parents' childhood as much as I could. And I began to understand where they were coming from. And I realized that where they were coming from and how they'd been brought up,

they couldn't really have done anything differently than what they did. They were brought up in abuse, and they continued to abuse. And nobody taught them another way to go. it was their way of life. But my growing understanding enabled me to start the forgiveness process. You know, if you're walking down the street and somebody bumps into you

and you whip around, you're very angry, how dare they do that. And then you see that the person is blind. The understanding that you have instantly dissolves that anger. And I think that when we can really begin to understand the childhood of the people who have done us wrong.

It enables us to go almost beyond forgiveness and into understanding so that we can open the doors to our own heart. You see, people who have problems loving themselves are always people who are not willing to forgive because non-forgiveness shuts that door. And when you forgive and when you let go, not only does a huge weight drop off your shoulders,

but the doorway to your own self-love opens up. You know, people will say, oh, such a load has dropped off. Well, of course, because you've been carrying this burden forever. Now, I'm not saying that we're condoning poor behavior, because we're not. We don't want to be in bondage ourselves to something that perhaps happened a long, long time ago. As my forgiveness of them grew, so did my willingness to forgive myself. Forgiveness of ourselves is enormously important.

See, many of us grow up, and we began hating our inner child for having had those experiences. And we do the same things to our inner child that they did to us. We just continue it. And that's very sad, because when we were children, and other people may have been mistreating us, we didn't have options. But when we grow up and we are mistreating our own inner child, that's very sad and very, very tragic.

And as I forgave myself, I began to trust myself to take care of me. When we don't trust life or when we don't trust other people, it's really because we don't trust ourselves. We don't trust ourselves to take care of ourselves in a situation. So we say, I'll never fall in love again because I don't want to get hurt or I will never let this happen. But what we're really saying is, I don't trust you enough to take good care of me. So I'm going to stay away from everything.

But I began to trust myself enough to take care of me. And I found it easier and easier to love myself. And my body was healing. and most of all my heart was healing. Most of all my heart was healing. You know, as Dr. Harrison says in that wonderful book, Love Your Disease, forgiveness of both the self and the parents

or dropping the past, which is what you're doing, cures more illness than antibiotics ever will. And he also says it takes a lot to stop children from loving their parents. But when they do, it takes. takes even more for them to forgive. And therapy usually revolves around the willingness to forgive. When we won't forgive and we won't let go, what we're really doing is binding ourselves to the past. And when you're stuck in the past, you cannot live in present time. And if you cannot

live in present time, how are you going to create a glorious future? Because this stuff in the past just bounces over and creates more future stuff. Therapy revolves around the willingness to forgive, the willingness to stop giving my power to them back there and accepting my own power in the here and now, making my word important rather than their word. I'm the only only one. I'm the only one. I'm the only one. person that can think in my mind, just like you're the only person that can think in your mind. And nobody can force us to think in a different way. We choose our thoughts, and these are the basis for our self-talk. But anyway, I gradually lived more of what I was teaching, and I really watched my words and my thoughts, and I constantly forgave myself for not being perfect. I allowed

myself to be rather than struggling to be super person so I could be acceptable for one day. And I began for the first time to trust life and to see it as a friendly place. And I remember I lightened up and my humor became less biting and funnier. And I worked on releasing criticism and judgment of myself and of other people. And I stopped telling disaster stories. I guess no one else here has ever done that. You know, we're so quick to spread the bad news. It's just amazing.

And I stopped reading the newspaper, and I stopped listening to the news, and I gave up the 11 o'clock news at night. I said, I will not take that into my dream state with me. And then I did a biggie. I decided to stop gossiping. And I found I had nothing to say to anyone for three weeks, until I learned there were other things.

ways of talking. It wasn't an easy habit to break. But if I would be gossiping about other people, then people would be gossiping about me, wouldn't they? Remember, what we give out, we get back. Now, I also discovered mirror work, and I did daily sessions in front of the mirror. And the most difficult, of course, was to say to myself, I love you, I really love you. Took a lot of tears and a lot of breathing to get through that one. But when I'm When I did, it was like a jump had taken place. But most of all, I was really consistent with what I did. I practiced all my waking hours.

You know, there are many, many people who will say a prayer in the morning or do an affirmation or treatment or meditate, and then they leave the house and jump in the car and start screaming at people. Five or ten minutes or twenty minutes in the morning is wonderful, and you get better results if you can be consistent all day long. I thanked myself before I went to sleep. I thanked myself for what I had done during the day and knowing that I had done the best I could.

And I affirmed that the healing process was taking place in my body while I slept and that I'd awakened in the morning, bright and refreshed, and feeling good. And in the morning, I'd awaken, and I'd thank everything I could think of, including myself and my body. And I'd know and affirm that this day would be a joy and a delight.

and that I was willing to learn and to grow and to change. And I learned also that I could make changes without seeing myself as a bad person. See, too many of us, we have to be wrong or bad in order to make a change. That's why we criticize ourselves so much. We think it's going to make a change, but it doesn't. When we can come from loving acceptance,

then the changes come much easier. And we make a change because, we want to improve the quality of our life, not because we're a bad person who has to be better. And it's a different way of looking at it. And when the doctor said I no longer had cancer in my body, I knew I'd made deep internal changes. Now I did not have an operation, I did not have chemo, and I did not have radiation. I don't tell other people to do that because I know very well that God works through the medical

profession also, and sometimes an operation is a necessary thing to have while we change our consciousness. But I decided to use the tools that I knew and to really go for it. And I was pleased with the remission, but I wasn't surprised. You know, as Dr. Bernie Siegel says in Love Medicine and Miracles, when people change, the new personality often does not need the old disease. The new personality does not need the old disease. And a bonus that I hadn't expected was that I got to look younger. And I thought, oh, isn't that fun?

And the clients I now attracted were almost all people who were willing to work on themselves. They made enormous progress. And without me really saying anything, they could sense and feel that I was living what I was teaching. So it was easier for them to accept the ideas I was teaching and work with them. And of course they got positive results. You can't do inner work on yourself without improving the quality of our life. And that's what it's all about, really. We improve the quality of our life. We make peace with ourselves on an inner level. And we learn to love and accept who we are. And then life seems to flow much, much nicer. So what is the world? So what is that?

this experience teach me personally that I really had the power to change my life if I was willing to change my thinking? Thank you for tuning into this episode. If you're enjoying the content, you can access exclusive material by becoming a subscriber. Continue strengthening your mind by listening to our other episodes.