The Resilient Mind - Let Go Of Your Old Self & Embrace The New You - Lisa Nichols

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Lisa Nichols is one of the world’s most-requested motivational speakers, as well as media personality and corporate CEO, whose global platform has reached and served nearly 80 million people. From a struggling single mom on public assistance to a millionaire entrepreneur, Lisa’s courage and determination has inspired fans worldwide and helped countless audiences break through, to discover their own untapped talents and infinite potential.Take action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download Now⁠⁠This episode was created in partnership with Tom Bilyeu. Subscribe to Tom Bilyeu’s channel for more inspiring speeches:https://www.youtube.com/c/TomBilyeu Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to Let Go of Your Old Self and Embrace the New You with Lisa Nichols. Get access to the Resilient Mind Journal by clicking the link in the show notes. Enjoy. I'm in Englewood, living off Arbavida. I'm on government's assistance, and I run out of money, and I had to buy pamper's for Giuliani. And I had $11.42 in the bank. And I remember wrapping my son in a towel.

for two days. You know, someone said, because when I tell the story, I always get teary-eyed. And someone said, do you fabricate the tears because you've told the story so much? No, I'm a mama. Every time I tell the story, I feel it again. I remember the second day, like you said,

I had my hand on Jelani's stomach, and I said, don't worry, baby. Mommy will never be this broke or broken again. And that day, what shifted for me was I was willing, and I don't know if this is going to sound crazy, I was willing to completely die to any form of me that I had been

so that I can birth the woman that I was becoming. The reason why a lot of people won't become who they want is because they're too attached to who they've been. And you hear it all the time when people say, I've always been this way. Okay, well, if that's working for you, keep doing that. I knew it wasn't working for me any longer.

I had hit my version of rock bottom. So I was willing to let go of everything and everybody. See, another reason why people won't get there is because the doorway is for you to fit through. You're trying to carry everybody else through because you're trying to be rescue 911, and you got to rescue you first. I am much more valuable to my family and to my community

because I was willing to let them go. Go through the door myself, teach myself, learn myself, condition myself, and then come back and get them. I'm much more valuable to them now. But I had to go through a window time of 10 years of judgment. You leaving us hanging out with white people all the time. You going to these crazy countries. We don't know what you...

I have to be willing to allow. my conviction to make me inconvenienced. See, we want to grow, but we want to stay liked by everybody. I was willing to be my own rescue at the risk of your approval. Most of us aren't like that. Facebook is example. We want to be liked. Well, I woke up and I liked myself today, so your like is extra.

My job is to like me first. I was willing to say every day, Lisa, you like you? Lisa, are you proud of you? Lisa, are you playing full out every day before I checked in with anybody? else. That's lonely, by the way. Why won't most people do it? Because it's scary and it's lonely. So what did I do? I was willing to find people who had what I didn't have, who were living lives that I wasn't living, who believed things that I didn't know about, and I was willing to become their student. I got up every day and I ate a slice of humble pie. See, when you get to

this level, even me 10 years ago, you can get caught up by reading your own fine print. See, whenever I hear people reading my bio, before I came on and you read my bio, I'm in the back going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I don't want to ever think I arrived. That bio is old. You should be interested in my future old. That's my bio, what's my bio, what's my future old? What are you doing? What am I, who am I becoming for 2020? And we get caught up in our bios, we get caught up in our status. I never allowed that to stop me. from going and sitting at the hymn of someone and saying, what do you know about wealth?

See, because there's three forms to money. It's through relationship to money. We learn how to earn it. We learn how to keep it, and we learn how to grow it. Well, I learned how to earn it because my theme song was, I'm a hustler, baby. And I want you to know, everybody with me.

It ain't where I've been, but what? Where I'm about to go. So I was singing that song. That was good. They know, they know, right? I was singing that song when I was working out of my closet as my office, I was in a walk-in closet where you really couldn't walk in,

you stepped in and turned, right? And the clothes rack, you know how you have the hanger rack, I had pant hangers in the closet, and I had manila folders clipping on the pant hangers. Those are my client files. And I would sit there, and I put 299 mirrors that you get from CVS. I put them all around my closet walls so that I can make my office look bigger.

I worked out of that closet office for four years singing that song. And ain't where I've been, but where I'm about to go. I knew that. I knew how to make money. I don't know how to keep it because ain't nobody had none of my family. So keeping was an issue. Growing was never an issue. So I went to people who knew how to make it, keep it, grow it.

I went to people who was about serving others to the highest level. See, I make a lot of money because I serve more people. See, all your success is on the other side. out of service. People trying to make money. If it begins and ends with money, it's going to be a short-lived victory. But if it's about transforming lives, then the wind keeps going and going and growing and growing. So I went to people that knew what I didn't know. And I killed my ego every day. Murdered my she-go every day. Because I got a big she-go. I mean, come on, right? Every day, Tom.

And I got hungry and I learned. I went to the same training 42 times. Yes, I said 42. Some folk will stop because I've been there already. I learned that already. No, I wasn't there. I wanted to be able to finish their sentences. I want to know what you know.

I want to walk like you, talk like you. And then I want to then embed me in it. But success leaves clues. We're just not picking them up. I was the only African-American person at this conference. I was one of two women at this conference. I was one of two women at this conference. Within the last 29 sessions, I led the conference.

But I was willing to be the student first. So that's what I did, number one. And number two, I looked at every toxic behavior in my life. Everyone. You see me go behind my own black curtain. People don't want to tell on yourself. You're trying to protect. You're trying to do four things.

You're trying to protect, prove, hide, and defend. if you wake up every day and say, I have nothing to protect, I have nothing to prove, I have nothing to hide, I have nothing to defend. Now, who do I choose to be? Because your energy is consumed with protecting, proving, hiding, and defending. But if you let go of that, then now you're in creation. Every day I told myself that. Every day I got in the mirror and I said three sentences. And I gave each sentence seven different endings.

And at times I was crying so hard I couldn't understand myself because the ending, the sentence was so difficult to say. Every day I looked in the mirror and said, Lisa, I'm proud that you. And I found seven different things to celebrate Lisa for because we are under-celebrated. Because you want someone to celebrate you more than you celebrating yourself. You want to hear thank you from others more than you thanking yourself. You want to hear other people say, I love you more than you say, and I love yourself. You are teaching the world. I set this on Oprah.

And when I set this on Oprah, she said, oh, my God. I believe the exact same thing, so I knew I had one thing right. The world is looking at you and following your example of how to treat you. How to treat you. They're following your example of how to treat you. So how you treat you, the world's going to follow your lead. So I had to start treating Lisa better because I was everything for everybody but nothing for myself. And so every day I got in the mirror and I completed three sentences.

Lisa, I'm proud of you for. Second thing, Lisa, I forgive you for. That one took me down daily. Because I'd had a son with a man who was now in prison, my biggest nightmare, my greatest nightmare. I had been in a relationship that turned mentally and then physically abusive when my son was three years old. I made money but lost it. I was on government's assistance. I was on welfare.

I was on WIC, women, infant, and children. I got a lot of forgiveness that I had to do. But I was willing to forgive myself every day. And every day I said the same thing for like six months until it got easier. And then one day I went, Lisa, I forgive you for it. And that thing didn't come up anymore. I was like, ooh, okay, on to the next. Seven different endings.

And the last thing I did every day, last sentence, is Lisa, I commit to you that. Because we make bigger commitments to other people. If I commit to y'all something right or die, you can bet your last dime that I'm going to be there. I'm going to show up. You're going to get two times. But I would make commitments for me, for myself, and I wouldn't do it. I eat my weight. That's interesting.

So I started every day celebrating Lisa, forgiving Lisa, and making a commitment to Lisa. And then I was willing to invest money in me. I love this story. I was willing to invest money in me. Literally. Literally. Literally.

I worked at LA Unified School District. And I knew I couldn't stay there because they needed a degree. I didn't have a degree. They didn't seem happy. I want to be happy. So I would have my son at daycare during the day. I'd work nine hours. I'd pick them up from daycare, take them back to my office.

I take a 30-minute break from 6 o'clock to 6.30 to go get them. I start working from 6.30 until midnight every day at my office on me. Every day. Put my son on a little primary color blanket, something to occupy him. Give them toys that I took the batteries. out of so he'd be confused for a little while, trying to figure out, I did not work, and I'm sure I'm serious. And I did it every day, every day, every day. I stopped going out to dinner, I stopped going out dancing, I stopped getting my nails done, stop getting my hair done,

and every two weeks when Ella Unified paid me, I wrote a check to my dream. And I wrote in the memo line, funding my dream. And I would mail the check to the bank, Wells Fargo. And I mailed a check to myself every two weeks for three and a half years. My family thought, you know, that I was smoking on drugs. Like, she ain't going out. She's not, she eating beanies and weenies all week. We think she on drugs, but she's not getting any smaller, so maybe not. And, um, and I went to the bank after three and a half years. This is the story you're talking about. I walked in the bank. I said, I'm just going to check and see where that. that account is because I wouldn't open the statements because my mother used to say when I was

growing up, girl, this money burning my pocket. And I'm like, I think money hot. Thank you. Thank you so much. And it goes away fast. So I'm not going to open the statement because I don't want to know how much money I have because I didn't have a healthy relationship to money. I didn't even know a relationship with money. So while I'm at these trainings, they just kept saying saves. I'm like, okay, I'm a save. I didn't need the money that I was writing checks for because it was the money I used on my nails and my hair. And then every check I wrote to myself, I made a challenge with myself that it had to be 5% more than the next check. Wow. Than the previous check. So I didn't really know how to calculate the 5%. So I'm like,

well, I'll just add $30. I'll just add $60. I really didn't know anything about it. Then I went out and got a second job. And I started working in the evenings less on my business and more out on jobs so I can write a bigger check. So I learned how to live on $31,000. That's all I was living on $31,000. We can make it. We got it. I sold my Ultima. I had at the time. I bought an old, export, explorer. You know, I just, I just skinny down. I moved out of my three-bedroom house. I moved in with a roommate. She smoked even, and I was like, okay, I'm going to put towels under the base of the door, y'all, you've got to be inconvenienced. I put towels on the base of the door so the smoke couldn't come in the room with me and my son.

We slept side by side in the same bed. Went from a three-bedroom, you know, three-bathroom, two-story to a roommate, you know, because I was willing to write a check to fund my dream. And I kept writing funding my dream, funding my dream. Funding my dream. And I walked in in the Wells Fargo, three and a half years later, and I gave her my name. I said, hi, my name is Lisa Nichols. And she's like, you've funded my dream lady. I was like, yeah?

So all these tellers came running around, the manager came around, because I guess everybody had processed a check or two. And they were like, we all been wondering. Like, everybody wants to know, what's the dream you funded? And I was like, I don't know, but it's going to cost some money.

I think I got a little money, man, to find a dream. And so I said, I just came to get my balance and to see where it is, because I haven't opened any of the statements. They were like, what? I said, no, I haven't opened any of the statements because money burns my mama's pockets

or it might burn my pocket, so I don't want to spend it. So she wrote the balance down. You know how they write the balance down and she turned it and passed it to him, and I looked at it, and I said, no, ma'am, my name is Lisa Shante Nichols. This is my social security number.

I don't even want that money. because y'all going to want it back and I don't want to get in trouble so can you just give me my account? You know, because I didn't know anyone in my family that had $5,000 in their account, $10,000 in account. So when you write down that I have $62,500

in my account, that's not mine. So they all teared up. Like, everybody started crying. They're like, no, it's yours. I look down at my son, Jelani, who was five years old now, and I said, Jelani, I think life is going to change for you and mommy.

Oh. My son said, Mommy, can we finally go to McDonald's? So, because I've been making them homemade Big Macs for a while. I was like, Mama can make you a better Big Mac than, you know, Ronald McDonald. So, because I was willing to inconvenience my entire life. My entire life. I was willing to disrupt my entire life to buy my future, to buy my possibility, to give my dream a chance.

See, we're not supposed to tuck our dreams in on the pillow when we get up in the morning. We're not supposed to leave them at home and go and fulfill somebody else's dream. We're not supposed to do that. That's not what we're wired to do. That's not who we are. Your human spirit doesn't care about the economy. The human spirit doesn't care that my son's father went to prison. The human spirit doesn't care what's happened to your family.

The human spirit doesn't care about the past. You may have been molested or your family may have been broke or, or you may have been. may have been betrayed or you may have a divorce. Your human spirit doesn't care about any of that. Your human spirit simply says, what's our command for tomorrow? What do you want to create? It's not keeping score. Your brain is keeping score because your brain is designed to keep you safe.

Your soul, your intuition, your human spirit is designed to make you sore. And when you get to the edge of that stage, I want to get up right now. Can I get up right now? whatever you want. Think I'm going to tell Lisa Nichols, no? Come on now. When you get to the edge, your brain will always tell you to step back.

It's always going to tell you to step back because you can fall. Always, it's going to tell you step back. Because before you fail, the last time you did this, you saw someone else fail, you could hurt, you could be off work. It's going to tell you, it's designed to keep you safe. So you have to be willing to play between your brain

and your soul. And on some days, You've got to just listen to your soul. And you've got to say, I'm a leap. I'm going to get to the edge. Most people are at the edge. And you're standing at the edge and you're watching everyone else fly.

That's pit my ride. Watch my cribbed, all this stuff. You know, watching people's lives on Facebook. You're at the edge. Watching someone else live. Wondering what it's going to be like when you jump without ever jumping. And I'm just here to tell you jump. Because only three things can happen.

You're either going to jump and fly. Are you going to jump and fall on something soft? Are you going to fall down hard? Either way, you're going to get back up. You already know you got what it takes to get back up. Your greatest fear is not that you will fall. Your greatest fears that you will live a full life and never fly. That you never leaped.

You're not afraid of dying. You're afraid of dying before the world sees who you really are. Before they really get your fingerprint, before they really feel your breath, before they really get your contribution. before they really feel you. That's what you don't want to happen. You don't want to leave this place

without us knowing you were here. All I'm doing is giving my dream a chance. And I'm not extraordinary. You don't get off the hook. You don't get to be a lot off the hook. I'm an ordinary woman who chooses every day to make one more extraordinary decision. Thank you for tuning in.

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