The Resilient Mind - Master Yourself: Break Free from Limiting Beliefs - Lisa Nichols

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

Lisa Nichols is one of the world’s most-requested motivational speakers, as well as media personality and corporate CEO, whose global platform has reached and served nearly 80 million people. From a struggling single mom on public assistance to a millionaire entrepreneur, Lisa’s courage and determination has inspired fans worldwide and helped countless audiences break through, to discover their own untapped talents and infinite potential.Take action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download Now⁠⁠Download Mindset App for free and listen to 5000+ of the World's Greatest Motivational Speakers and Thought Leaders: https://bit.ly/mindsetxTheResilientMind This episode was created in partnership with Tom Bilyeu. Subscribe to Tom Bilyeu’s channel for more inspiring speeches:https://www.youtube.com/c/TomBilyeu Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to Master Yourself, break free from limiting beliefs with Lisa Nichols. Get access to the Resilient Mind Journal by clicking the link in the show notes. Enjoy. There's no shortcut to the top. There's no elevator. There ain't nothing but stairs.

You got to get your glutes in action. I was on the wall this morning doing my squats. I don't know about y'all, but I was doing my squats this morning. I was doing my lunges this morning. every day I'm prepared for what's ahead of me. There's no elevator. There's no elevator. You can't Google download this.

Somebody trying to Google download it. You know, you can't follow me on Facebook and get to where I am. You're just going to see where I am. You just watch me through my window. There's no glory in that. If you watch me, watch me to inspire you to get up and do one more squat, just a little bit longer. If you watch me, watch me to inspire you to forgive the perceivingly unforgivable

and love the perceivingly unlovable so the universe can love you back like that. If you watch me, watch me so that it makes you want to be a better man, want to be a better woman. See, when I rub myself up against somebody great, it's so that I can want to be a better woman in their presence. Only hang around people who make you stand on your tippy toes. That's what I do all the time.

And then I hang around people who I make stand on their tippy toes. That's what I do. That's when people step onto my campus. I train. I'm a trainer. I'm a trainer. I'm a transformational coach. I teach people how to turn the unbelievable into your reality. That's what I do. We're going to grind.

First thing I'm going to do is say, look, get your deodorant out, put your tennis shoes on. We're going to squat. We're going to lunge. We're going to run. But on the other side of this, you will see a life that's barely recognizable. Why? Because I'm living that life. Look at who I am.

I'm a C student from Dorsey High School. I ran track. I got a D minus in speech and a fail in English. when my English professor from high school was in Barnes and Nobles and he turned over chicken soup for the African American soul, my first book, and he saw my face on the back.

He said he stood in Barnes and Nobles and started crying. Whoa. He said he knew I was a good person, but he didn't know if I'd make it because I wasn't talented in any particular area other than track. I wasn't talented academic-wise.

It didn't fire off fast for me. I learned later that it was because I was dyslexic and I had all these other learning stuff. it makes me more unique, you know, but in school, it didn't show up that way. And so I'm clear that I didn't get a hookup. And I'm clear because of that, this is available to everybody. So I'm passionate about inviting people onto my campus. Come on, get in my live room, get in my online, online trainings, deep dive in the book.

The book is like a three-day training by itself. My latest book, Abundance Now, I put everything in that. That's what my legacy will be. It will free more people than any other body of work that I've ever done, other than the abundant life live program that I do because I'm all about touching people, touching people and letting them see, touch me, let me touch you so you can see there's zero distance between us.

And I believe the universe is God says, God says when there's zero distance between you and it, it is yours. So I used to go around my girlfriend, very, very wealthy. Her husband created something that was sold. To Kimberly Clark, they did one sale for $100 million in life changed overnight for them. So I would often go to their house in La Jolla, California, and I just rub all their stuff. No, really, I've been rubbing my friend's stuff for like years.

I rub all their stuff. And because I believe that zero distance between you and it means it's available to you. So surround yourself into things that stretch you. And I'm not even into the material things, though I want to live a great life. Like, I'm not into cars. But if I got to be on the road, I want to be on the road on something absolutely amazing. You know, I'm not into materialistic things, but I wanted to have that kind of indicator that my life is right.

I'm doing the right things. as well as in less than 30 days, I take eight of my family members to Oahu for a vacation, and all I got to do is pack right, just pack right. I'll take care of everything else. My grandmother, who's 87, my mother, my father, my son, my nephew, just a ton of people. That, to me, money just buys better memories.

Money just buys better memories. It's not about the money. But listen, if I've got to have a problem, I want to arrive with my problem in a better car. I want to end my day and go to a house that reflects the type of day I have. So I just would surround myself. I get hungry for it.

I'd hunt for it. But through service. And I would be remiss if I didn't say this. I was willing to love some people from a distance. I was willing to love some people from a distance. Because they were holding you back. I wouldn't even say they. We used the phrase they were holding me back

as if they got a slingshot around my neck. But I look up half the time and I'm holding on to them trying to use them as my excuse. I'm just saying. I don't know if it steps on your toes. If it does sit Indian-style, I'm not stopping. You know, because I can use my son.

Well, I don't want to leave my son. I can use my family. They're not holding on to me. I'm holding on to them. I'm using them as an excuse to not play full out because I'm afraid if I go to the edge, I might fall. Mm-mm. No.

My son, when he was eight years old, he said, Mommy, when you go to the four, far away places that I can't go to, that I can't call you at, I get really sad. Please don't go. I could have stopped then when he was eight. But instead, I took him out of a public school, put him in a private school, went to the principal of the private school and said, I'd like to enroll my son, but let me tell you what we're going to do here. When I leave and I go away real far where he can't call me, we're going to distance learn him together. And you're going to send him away with a packet of homework. And I'm going to FedEx that homework back to you. She says,

Ms. Nichols, we don't have such a program. I said, oh, I'm happy to help you co-created. So when I went to Kenya, my son went to Kenya with me for a month. And we did all of his homework. His homework was like the everybody's project. And we fed-exed back home. We went to Swahili. He went to Swahili with me. When I went to Australia, he went to Australia with me.

And we fedex his homework. I was willing to be inconvenienced for my conviction. Like if you go where you've never gone, do what you've never done and say what you've never said, you'll become the woman and the man you've always known yourself to be. You're trying to be someone new. doing the same thing you've done, or at least going to the edge. And because most people live in the center, Tom, when you're on the edge, you feel the breeze on your cheek

and you think you did something. I mean, come on, like, right, that's, oh, you're at the edge of the box. No, I want to be out of the box. There's no box. Like, I came here to disrupt everyone watching me to make sleeping and complacency difficult, to make you mildly, to moderately, to significantly uncomfortable in any form of mediocrisy.

I don't come to keep you comfortable. I don't come to ra-ri-you. I don't come to kumbaya motivate. I come to disrupt your norm so that your abnormal can come out, so that your original can come out. Your uncharted turf can come out. I come to disrupt any form of normal. And I do it with the freedom of being liked or not liked.

Like, I love everyone here to like me. I love everyone here to like me. But my freedom is, if you don't like me, it ain't even my business. My grandma says, other people's perception of you ain't none of your business. is your job to do the best you possible. And in doing you, you inspire us because we're all trying to do each other.

If you want me to give you Oprah, I will always undoubtedly fail you. But whenever you're interested, I do a damn good Lisa Nichols. I got her on lock that if you can master you and your contribution to the planet, your unique fingerprint,

your individual breath, your DNA, you're an unrepeatable miracle, You are an unrepeatable miracle. Give me some of you. Give me your uniqueness. I'm just here to disrupt everybody's norm and give them my uniqueness. And hopefully inspire millions to do the same.

And you may not always be able to monetize your passion. It's not always about monetizing your passion. Let your investor, aka your job, I like to call it your investor. Let your investor help you do your dream. By simply stabilizing your household, letting your lights stay on because you can't be creative when the lights are out.

Believe me, I've tried. keeping food in your refrigerator. So your passion is not always for profit. Your passion is not always something you monetize. Your investor takes care of your needs and then you go do your passion. Chilani is now, it'll be 22 this year, 6'2-2-2010 pounds. So what I teach my son is to do him, not me. What I teach my son is he's going to find his best lessons in his

biggest mistakes. So don't be afraid of mistakes. So you're going into transformation now. And I love transformation more than I love motivation because it's a game changer. So I do a series of exercises constantly. It's like doing ab work. You want great abs. You can't do sit-ups one time and get it. You got to go back again and again and again and again. That's the same for self-development. You got to live in it. It's not a one-time shot. So when someone tells me, Oh, I did your workshop already. I said, oh, you think you got it all? Like, I did the same workshop 42 times, right?

And still can go back and get something new. So one, I teach people how do you get connected with you? You haven't met you yet. How do you meet you? And so there's a series of exercises that I have them do. One exercise, I'll give you one exercise, and someone's going to go home today and do this, and it's a game changer.

And it's not even pretty. So this ain't rah-rah. Because, first of all, as a transformational coach, very different than a motivational speaker, inspirational speaker, and informational speaker. Those people are there to incite you, excite your. Transformational coach is designed to go to the dark place with you, hold your hand, and coach you out into a brighter light.

That's why it's the road that's traveled. So one exercise that I have them do. And you'll notice just in this exercise, you'll see how I help get them there. So this exercise is called Expose the Lies. And I have you get about 16 blank sheets of paper. You may not fill them all up, but if you're playing big in the world like you are, you might feel them all up. and I have you write down every lie you tell yourself.

And I have you talk about just the lies around money first. You might fill up two, three pages, just the lies around money. And you can't think about it and then not write it. Because if you think about it is a lie, because the exercise is exposed the lies. So think of the lie you tell yourself. So I'll never have enough money. Money is hard to earn. I have to work hard to earn good money.

Like, that's a lie. Like, really it is. Some of you know that. You can make money while you sleep if you set it up right, right? Right? So all the lies about money that you've told yourself. Then I have you tell yourself all the lies you've told yourself about who you are as a person. Like I used to say, I'm stupid because I used to hear all the time that I was, you're almost in the, you almost qualified for the little bus.

You know, I used to hear all kind of stuff. And I began to believe it. I used to tell people, I'm a slow learner. Hold on, slow down. I believed it. So I would write all the lies you tell yourself about who you are. Next set of lies, which is why you have 16 sheets of paper. And each mindset, each category can take you two, three sheets of paper.

All the lies you tell you something about relationships. Romantic, family, friends, all the lies. My family will never understand me. That was one of my lies. They'll never really get me. I'll never have a long-lasting relationship with a man. And then all the lies that you tell yourself around your health and fitness. Then all the lies you tell yourself around your spirituality. Can I tell you it's going to be ugly?

to be ugly. People normally like, I don't want to do this. They stop. Well, it ain't going to feel good if you stop before we get to the finish line. So you have all these lies. Between every lie, you skip four lines, are equivalent to four lines in space. Once you finish that, you read all the lies again and you're going to feel nauseous. And it may take you two or three days because you've got to take a break from it, right? You finish it. Don't put it off more than four days because now you're procrastinating again. And so again, you know you. And then in between, So you write all the lies down in pencil. Very important. You write them all in pencil.

16 sheets of paper, 10 sheets of paper, whatever. Then you get a red pen and you write the truth in between each lie, even if you can't believe it yet. Now most people get stopped and say, well, I don't know what the truth is. Okay, but there is a truth because this is a lie. And every lie has a truth, even if you can't believe it yet. So now you write the truth down, you're going to cry. You're going to cry on the lies. You're going to cry on the truth.

because it's going to be exposed to you the truth that you knew, but you forgot you knew it. So you're living like you don't know your truth. Then, after you've done that, and the truth is written between every lie. Lies in pencil, truth is in red ink. You read for two days, the lie, the truth, the lie, the truth, the lie, the truth, the lie, the truth, two days at least four times each day. Because now you're training your brain, neurolinguistic programming.

So the next time the lie comes up, your brain is going naturally default to the truth that you wrote in red ink because you gave your brain two things versus just having this lie because when people say you're stupid the only thing you counter that with is I'm not stupid right that's not positive right and so now your brain is going

lie truth lie truth lie truth lie truth then after the second day of reading the lie of the truth get an eraser and what you're going to do erase the lie and now you're just left with the truth so when you ask how do I get people there I do things like that so I always tell people

watch my life and you'll be entertained step in and learn how to manage your life and you'll be transformed. Step onto my canvas. I've just finished this mega series of videos. They're not even out yet called Abundant Life. And I did them after the book, Abundance Now, because people kept saying, how do I get the stuff that you say in the book?

And I go, ah, so I did 14 videos in my home. I'm committed to showing others. I don't want to be here alone. A mountaintop don't feel good when you own it by yourself. You want company. Like you want company. We're tribal. We're community.

There's no glory in me being here by myself. There's none whatsoever. I want to bust the doors open. Every single person in this room, every single person listen to my voice, look in her face. I want every single person, bust the double doors open and go get yours. And UPS is not going to come to your door saying,

hello, I have a life for you. Please sign here. You got to go out. They're not coming. They're not coming. You've got to go out the door, put on your best running shoes, get your back strong, and go after it

and run after it like you're late for work. Like we'll run if we're late for work, run for someone else's dream, harder than we'll run for ours. Yeah, I love what you were saying about, man. You want people to cheer for you more than you cheer for yourself, love you more than you love yourself. Which is actually really odd. It's really odd to expect somebody to be more impressed with you than you are with yourself. To treat you better than you treat yourself. And then I just gotta go here.

I got a pass. I can go here. Ladies, we really do it. Men do it as well, but ladies, we're extroverted. doing it. We dump on our men and put the responsibility on you of our beauty, of our love, of our self-worth. And men manage it differently. You manage it in possessions and in money and in bank account and in status. That's where you go for that. Traditionally, there's always exceptions to the rules. Traditionally. But as women, we emote and make you have to be our self-esteem,

which is so incredibly unfair. We ask questions we don't want here to answer to. We ask questions that you only have one answer you can give us, you really don't have freedom in that answer. There's one answer I need right now to make me feel good, and I need you to give it to me. That's so incredibly unfair. And we say, we even have the old adage, oh, in marriage, I went in man, to complete me.

That's a big job. You're a lot of woman to complete. Come on. You know where you come from in your issues. That's not the truth. It's my job. And I love the dance between relationship, where there's woman, woman, man, man, man, woman.

I love the dance between love. in relationship. But it's not anyone's job to complete you. It's my job to complete me, and then it's your opportunity to complement my completeness. Just say it. Just saying. And so my job is to work on Lisa versus to ask you to give me what I need.

And I think when we get that, self-development is something we haven't jumped into enough. And I don't know about every culture, but as African-Americans, and some other cultures as well, people I've met, we mistake spirituality for self-development. And we think spiritual awareness is self-development. Spiritual awareness is spiritual awareness. And it's understanding the divine and the higher power and the God, whatever you call it, and having some place to release to. That's not

self-development. Self-development is doing that dagon work. I just talked about exposing the lies that are in your head that's running you, the chatter, the negative Nancy in your head, you know, managing it and exposing, exposing it. That's our work. and no one shows us how to do that work. Consciousness is very important, but it means nothing without action. True. We got a whole bunch of conscious stuck people.

They're conscious. They know it all. They know all the awareness. They know affirmations. But Joan Baez says that action is the antidote, antidote, antidote, antidote for despair. Lisa Nichols adds, action is the prescription for success. How can you have one word, one theory,

be the, the, the, the, antidote for something while being the prescription for another. That's a powerful something. Action. Will Smith said it when he was being interviewed by Tavis Mali. I'm just, I'm going to work harder than the next guy. If I'm on a treadmill, I'm going to die on a treadmill. Like, I get it. I was in South Africa, and this gentleman was translating in Swahili from another gentleman,

and the gentleman asked me, was I going to go to the party that night? And I said, I'll try to make it. And he went to go back and tell him, he goes, are you going to go to the party? And I said, I'll tell him I'll try to make it. And he went to translate again, he turned back, he goes, are you going to go to the party? And I said, tell him I'll try to make it. And he looked at goes, lady, there is no word try in Swahili.

Either you're going or not. Tell him. Wow. Oh, I'll be very late. Like, think about that. But in Swahili, there's no word for try. Wow. We use try as a crutch to say, I really don't want to do it,

but I don't want to tell you now. Just say, I'm not going to do it or I am going to do it. Like, I love it. I never say try anymore after that. Wow. Like bold yes or bold, no, just choose. Because no one wants to live in uncertainty and ambiguity and we live a life of ambiguity.

I don't know what I want to be. I don't know what I'm going to do because you'd never have to move in ambiguity. Instead, just say I'm afraid to leap. Help me leap. Help me leap. Help me leap. Help me get the courage to leap. Because I don't want to live a life on the edge.

Just say that. That's just the truth is sexy. And it's liberating. And it's sobering. And what I believe people love most about me is that I give them the gift of the truth. My truth first. And then in some way I want to inspire you to share your truth

and be okay with your truth. And I just tell you guys, I'm that same girl who ran track for Dorsey High School, who struggled to get through high school, who got kicked out of college because I couldn't afford to stay. That was on government's... I'm that same girl.

I'm that same girl. I don't forget her. I'm also that same woman who runs a multimillion-dollar business. I'm also the same woman who has seven bestsellers. I own both of those. I own all of it. I don't shrink to my greatness and I don't live in my saga and my sorrow.

If you can own your brilliance while owning your imperfections, if you can own your giant while owning your smallness. If you can live in duality, constant duality, the freedom will be earth-shaking. If you can live in that. See, either you don't want to be as great as you really are, and you're trying to dim your light so that others won't feel insecure about themselves in your presence.

And so you keep playing at 79 watts, when you know you're supposed to shine at 159 watts, and you keep checking the temperature of the room to see what the room can handle versus just giving the room you and letting them, if your light's too bright, then let them put on some shades. Can you give yourself permission to live in the duality of your imperfections

and your smallness and what you're learning and what you still have to learn and your greatness and your brilliance and your light, can you allow them to coexist and then serve them up to the world? To love you, to see you, to inhale you, to judge you, to leave you, to love you. You're just, some of us are just as afraid of being loved

as we are to be left. Can you give the world permission to leave you and love you? Thank you for tuning in. strengthening your mind by listening to our other episodes.