The Resilient Mind - The Secret To Becoming The Person You've Always Wanted To Be - Marisa Peer

Episode Date: November 14, 2025

Marisa Peer is a world-renowned therapist, best-selling author, and speaker specializing in rapid transformational therapy (RTT). With over three decades of experience, she has helped thousands reprogram their subconscious minds to overcome limiting beliefs and achieve success.Take action and strengthen your mind with The Resilient Mind Journal. Get your free digital copy today: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download Now⁠⁠This episode is brought to you in partnership with The Icons by Motiversity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXi_ZdT8sQY&t=131s Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Resilient Mind podcast. In this episode, you will be listening to The Secret to Becoming the Person You Have Always Wanted to be with Marissa Pier. Get access to the Resilient Mind Journal by clicking the link in the show notes. Enjoy. All of my client's greatest pain was the lie they told themselves. Your mind has no choice the strongest force in all of us as we must act in a way that matches how we define ourselves.

So your mind's job is to make your thoughts real. The job of your mind is to listen to your thoughts and to start to make them real. And it doesn't have any choice in there, but you have a great choice. Your job is to think better thoughts, which makes your mind's job easier. You were thinking, I'm not going to succeed.

Everything's not going to work out. If I start that business, it will fail. If I write the essay, it will get a bad mark. So I'm just going to procrastinate here. You know, procrastination and self-sabotage is nothing more than a reaction to a thought that I'm not enough. Is that really the basis of RTT to rapid translational therapy, to have people change their narrative, whether they do it on their own or they do it through a therapist? What's the basis of the treatment?

Well, I think for most of us, we make a belief without realizing that that belief turns around makes us and then we have something called confirmation bars. We now look for proof that that belief is real. So I could have a belief. I'm painfully shy and I can't speak to people. I've made a belief, but that belief is making me now because I stress about speaking to people I might blush. I avoid situations. And now I'm looking for proof, the confirmation bias. Look, last time I spoke, I went bright red. I got all tongue tied. That person, I could see they weren't interested. I felt like an idiot, so I better make sure I carry on not speaking. So you have to switch it. I've made a belief. Why don't I change that to, I can talk to people, other people do it. I have two ears

and one mouth. That means I should listen, more, talk less, but I can engage with people. If I can talk to my friends or my pet or someone, I can talk to people. I'm making a different belief. And that different belief is making me. Now I'm looking for confirmation bias of how I Oh, I spoke to a guy in the store and they were engaging. I spoke to someone at a bus stop and they were engaging. And if I can speak to one person, I can speak to many. And I can learn. I can go on YouTube and just learn what makes a great speaker. So listen, if you're prepared to tell yourself a lie, which is if I look at cake, I gain weight, everything I touch falls apart. No one in my family has ever done anything. I've got the depression gene. We don't even. even know if that's true. That's probably a lie. When the people say, I've eaten like a horse all weekend.

No, you haven't. You didn't have a nose bag on. I'm assuming you peed occasionally. So you didn't really eat non-stop like a horse or weekend. Let's change that. So if your lies, I gain weight by looking at food, you might as well say, I got a super fast metabolism. My body is a fat burning machine. Is that true? But it doesn't matter because saying you eat like a horse is also not not true, but here's how it works. You've got a belief. You've made it, it's making you, and you're looking for proofs, and make a better belief. When people say, oh, I got a memory like a sieve, why not say I have an amazing memory? I can't sleep at night. Sleep comes to me. Changing the first bit, the thought means that you change the feeling, means that you change the behavior.

And people say, no, it's amazing. I just thought a different thought, and everything changed on a So your mind's job is to make your thoughts real. The job of your mind is to listen to your thoughts and to start to make them real. And it doesn't have any choice in there, but you have a great choice. Your job is to think better thoughts, which makes your mind's job easier. So when you understand your mind's job and you understand your job, so let's imagine you're saying to your mind, if I get dumped one more time, it will kill you. me. If one more person ghost me, that's it. It will ruin my life. If one more person rejects me, I'm just going to never go out again. Now your mind's job is to make you act in a way that

avoids rejection, probably becoming very solitary, not asking for anything. But if you were to say to your mind, hey mind, you know, I love connecting. I'm finding love and love is finding me, your mind's going to do a different job. If you say to your mind, what I would give for a week in bed, I just want to lie around doing nothing. Your mind is like, well, I got to act on that. You're thinking of thought, I need some time off. I need to lie around on the couch doing nothing. And now your mind can give you the flu or chronic diarrhea

because it's listening to a thought, which it must start to make real. But if you would just think a better thought. So if I said to my mind, I want attention, I'm lacking in tension, I need to be noticed, I might get chronic diabetes, diarrhea or explosive gas or a nervous twitch, I'll definitely get attention. But if I just say to my mind a better thought, I'm worthy of attention, good attention, and I get good attention because I'm good at my job and my boss notices and people notice, then everything changes on a dime. Because we have to remember something. The mind has no choice but to act on our thoughts. We have an

incredible choice to think better thoughts. And if you could look in your body and see the inflammation, the stress hormones, the cortisol you create from thinking negative thoughts, you would never do it again. So we've got to remember our thoughts and not our thoughts. They're a blueprint that our mind, body and psyche are trying to make real. And if you could only think better thoughts, you'd give your mind an easy job. I think that's going to resonate with so many people. I think about our channels and some of the things that people are working through and just hearing it said so clearly your mind's job is to turn your thoughts into reality. Yeah. And it's got no choice in that.

No choice. But you've got the ability to change those thoughts. Yeah. That essentially feeds the machine. You know, when people think icons, oftentimes they think, you know, Hall of Fame athlete, movie star, we think people who have transformed an industry, which is you. So, you know, after doing a bunch of research into your story, what you've done, I understand the impact you've had on the world. How about your own story?

Do you ever feel like the narrative in your head needs to be worked on? How does this impact you? You're a person just like all of us. Do you ever need to offer self-treatment to yourself? Yeah, you know, a couple of months ago I was lying on the sofa and heard myself so I'm chronically tired. And I thought, but that's not true. you are tired and you need some rest and some water, but you're not chronically tired. So I'm still

aware that occasionally you have to take, this is driving me crazy. What am I talking about? I'm talking about being at the airport and my flight is delayed by seven hours, which happened recently, but hey, I've got a laptop, I'm in the lounge, I can get lots of work done. And so I do occasionally have to check myself and take out the words chronic. This is chronic stress. Where I don't say that. I said chronic tiredness. This is driving me and saying, what am I talking about? I'm talking about a delay at an airport. Does it really matter? I'm talking about I've got all this workload on, but I can just cancel it. It's really not that important. You know, I see, you say that my kid is driving me crazy, but they're not. They're an age appropriate baby. And in a blink of an eye,

they'll be gone. It goes so fast. And then you'll think, oh, you know, all that time I spent getting stressed about my kid doesn't put do up lids. They get peanut butter smears on the fridge. They leave mess everywhere. Now, here I am. Well, I'd give anything to have those kids back smearing peanut butter on my lovely stainless steel fridge. So I think what helps me a lot and helps many of my clients is to do this. This challenge I have now, because I try not to say problem. Is it someone else's fantasy dreamt or would they love a husband who leaves his underpans? on the floor, a kid who never shuts, I go in in every cabinet door is open. A kid who doesn't understand that laundry goes in the basket. Is there someone in the world to go, I would love that

problem? I'm just about to spend all my money on IVF. I've just mortgaged my home for IVF. I give anything for a messy husband or a messy wife. And so that really helps you to think, wow, is my problem someone's fantasy dream come true? And also, I learned maybe 30 years ago to change my story. You know, my story was interesting. My mother when I was pregnant told me that when she was pregnant, she was having an affair with my father's best friend and that she really wanted me to be his baby. When I was born, she was so upset. She turned her face to the wall. She cried for a year because I was the wrong baby. She didn't tell me that until I was having my own baby because she was telling me, you know, she said, you cried for two

years because you must have picked up my disappointment that you were the wrong baby. I wanted a piece of this guy. I couldn't marry him, but I want, and you weren't his and I was so upset. And for a while I felt this tremendous sense of shame I was the wrong baby. And my mother in the 60s was having an affair with someone else. Then later I thought, wow, I could reframe that because my mother told me that both men were in the maternity ward when I was being born. They both picked a name for me. He picked the name Candy. And for now, if I would never recognize that name, I hated that name.

And Marissa was a kind of a weird name when every kid at school is called Janet and Sarah and Claire and Pamela. And here was I, Marissa. But later I thought, that's actually really cool. If two men wanted me when I was being born, I should have known that when I was 20. have dated all those idiots. I've got, hey, no, no, no. When I was being born, two guys wanted me. Two guys were waiting for me to be theirs, and they both picked a name. So I switched the shame and the embarrassment. It's actually kind of cool. But that's the thing. You get to edit your story, upgrade your story, rewrite your story, change your story. People say, but I was abused

when I was a kid. How can I edit that? Well, that's horrible, horrible thing. So people might say to me, but that's easy for you. I was abused when I was a baby. I was physically abused. Sex, mentally abused. How can I reframe that? Well, I would never diminish how horrific that is, but you're an adult now. You don't live with those people. You have the power to make better choices to say, no one's putting their hands on me. I will never do that again. And so our job is to look at our story and think, well, if I retell this story every day, am I keeping it going? Why don't I change it? Because you do have the power should you want to to edit your story, rewrite it and change it.

Thank you for tuning in. Continue strengthening your mind by listening to our other episodes.