The Rewatchables - ‘A Few Good (Re)Men’ Live From L.A. With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Live from the El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles, The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey are in the business of saving lives. They revisit one of the first movies they covered on 'The Rewatchables,' nearly 300 episodes ago, Rob Reiner’s ‘A Few Good Men,’ starring Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, and Demi Moore. Written by Aaron Sorkin. Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm Matt Bellany, founding partner of Puck News, and I'm covering the inside conversation about money and power in Hollywood. With my new show, The Town, I'm going to take you inside Hollywood with exclusive insight on what people in show business are actually talking about. Multiple times a week, I'll talk to some of the smartest people I know, journalists, insiders, all of whom can break down the hottest topics in entertainment to tell you what's really going on. Listen now. This episode is brought to you by Adobe Firefly. the all-in-one creative studio with AI-powered image and video generation. Build for today's creative process, Firefly helps you generate, edit, and experiment fast. Because the asks aren't getting smaller.

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services, plus 24-7 U.S.-based support. Millions of business owners already trust Spectrum Business. So visit Spectrum.com slash business to learn more. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. All right, you're about to hear a live rewatchables that we recorded on July 27th at the L-Ray Theater in Los Angeles. We did this on short notice. We did this because why not? We're almost at 300 movies. We're going to have the 300th movie on this feed a week from today.

But to celebrate 300 movies, we decided to do a live podcast. Me, Sean Fantasy, Chris Ryan. We have a special guest that joins us about an hour plus into the podcast. And we did a few good man, a movie that we already did six years ago, but we didn't have really any of the categories for it. So we had to just blow this out. Redo it. And you're about to list to it. Here it is. You want to investigate me, roll the dice, and take your chances. A rookie lawyer. Do you think Santiago was murdered? It doesn't matter what I believe. It only matters what I can prove. A feared colonel. Don't ever question my orders in a battle for truth. I want to slam dunk this guy. Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Demi Moore in a Rob Reiner film.

I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! A few good men, rated R. At theaters December 11th. Hello. Couldn't get into Hopin' Armour tonight, huh? That's Chris Ryan. That's Sean Fennacy.

I'm Bill Simmons. We are going to do a few good men. You guys know we're doing that for the movie, right? Yeah, okay. You announced it before him. Yeah. I don't know, I'm old. I can't remember what I did five minutes ago.

Are we not doing Barbie? So the first rewatchable we ever did that was a non-sports film was a few good men, which me and Chris Ryan and Amanda Dobbins did August 10th, 2017. Yeah. Which feels like 20 years ago. It sure does, yeah. I think we only had like four categories. The pod was how long?

Like an hour? Yeah, it's like 50 minutes, but we also spent like a long time explaining the rewatchables. And we didn't invite Sean And he was mad for like two months Because he loves that movie Yeah, no, you were, it was mad It was problems in the locker room Was I podcasting in 2017?

You might not have been I don't think I was Yeah So we We started with Heat Which was, what was December 2015 And we did that for my podcast And I just emailed CR one day

And I said, I just Heat's 20th anniversary She was just a whole Heat podcast And CR's like, when, where Let's do it And Had to get it all And we did it.

We put it out into the world and had no idea if anyone was going to like it. I remember feeling the most ambivalent about that pot of probably any pot I did for the first eight years. It was one for us. Anyone going to listen to this? Yeah. And people were like, heat, that was awesome, man. That was really good. It's always really cool guys coming up to you on the street.

Be like, hey, brother, heard the three heat with men. Yeah. You got to the bottom of it finally. All right, so a few good men. This is a few more good men? The re-few-good men? What are we calling this? The re-good men, yeah.

The re-good men? Yeah. What do you guys think? The few more good men? A few more good men, okay. You guys have thought about this, huh? Sean Fantasy. Is this the single most famous courtroom movie?

He hates when I ask him questions. He doesn't know that I didn't tip off. The single most famous courtroom movie? Yeah. No. What is? What is it? Twelve Angry Men is a more famous movie.

Nobody says 12 Angry Men. You think we get... You Philistines can fuck all. Are we selling out the L. Ray for 12 Angry Men? I don't know. For the purposes of this conversation and the rewatchables, this is my favorite courtroom movie. CR?

Yeah, it's my favorite courtroom movie. For sure. Yeah, there's no courtroom in cruising, so it has to be this. Does he too have a courtroom? No, actually it doesn't. It's all in Panama. When we did this the first time with Amanda, she called it a verbal action movie,

which I thought was brilliant. And I was thinking, like social networks probably in the panthe office. Same author. Google Hunting. What are the other verbal action movies? I mean, almost every courtroom movie is a verbal action movie.

Is it not? Men making arguments to each other? Glenn Gary, a lot of the playwright, when you get a theatrical production transferred to the big screen, I think you call that a verbal action movie. Heats 's a verbal action movie and an action movie. That's why we love that. That's why we love that.

I'm so interested in what I do and what I live, what I live, lady. What would you say black hat is? That's actually just like a journey to the center of the soul. Yeah. By hacking. So one thing about this movie, which came out 30 years ago, December of 1992,

it was a basic cable movie and a pay cable movie where you really couldn't tell the difference. They cut out like a couple swear words on T&T, but for the most part exactly the same, right? It's not like you're losing anything on T&T with this movie. Would you lose like who the fuck is William? You know, like you lose some of the... You lose like four F bombs and a couple slurs that, you know,

probably not a bad thing anyway. This also span the Blockbuster era to the Netflix era. This did VHS, DVD, Blu-ray, and streaming. You don't usually read the formats. Well, it's amazing this movie's been around so long. It's basically done everything. LaserDisc, I guess it missed Laserdisc. Probably, yeah.

They put on beta? Yeah. So did it feel data to you when you watch it? Not at all. Not at all. I think partially because of the runtime, it still feels so, like, quick and fast. And there are some P-breaks and stuff,

but I do think, for the most part, it's just blazing, and then you get that last half hour where you're just mesmerized. Do you guys feel like it was dated? Yeah, it's a right answer. Sean? Not at all. No. I love this movie. One thing I love, we've been doing courtroom month, and this movie is basically a puzzle, right?

We have hot shot Daniel Caffey. Cruz really exploring the studio space for the first time playing a young hot shot with a chip on his shoulder who can't, A little twist for him. Yeah. Who's got a dead dad in his background, and he's just never done this before. And he's got to put together a puzzle that we're just getting the pieces.

And so all these different court movies we've done, this is the most fun, I think, for how they set it up, where it's like, we'll give you this one. What does that mean? Then it goes here. And then it just keeps going, keeps going, keeps going. Yeah, I think that there's another part of this that's just like, it's actually not that much of a mystery.

I mean, it's very obvious who's committed to crime from the beginning. It's almost like Colombo in that way. It's like Jessup ordered the code red. So you know that in the 15th or 20th minute or whenever they first go to Cuba. And then the whole part is just like how is he going to get him to get, how is he going to realize this? How is he going to reveal this? And when he realizes he can play on Jessup's hubris and his pride and his like sense of like his own importance, that's like the best part. I think he knows what's happening the whole time, Kathy.

I think he actually, he's trying to find the way to win the case, but he actually knows the first time he sits down with Jessup. He's got a pretty good handle on what happened. As soon as he sees what kind of a character he is and how he responds to Joe's question about the code read, it's clear early on and we're supposed to know, but we don't want to accept that the case has been solved for us, and this will come up.

Roger Ebert noted this too. And whether or not we think that's a good thing that we basically know what happened in this story all the way through. It still leads up to probably one of the most thrilling final 15 minutes we've ever seen in a movie. But most of the courtroom movies we've done are we already know the truth. It's about getting to it, right? Like only primal fear is the reverse. And we're in Washington, D.C., which, as you know, is one of my favorite movie locations.

Every time I go to Washington, D.C., I always feel like I'm in a movie, like, see the mind. I made you think about things that happened. Let's talk, Cruz. Have you considered running for office? Let's talk Cruz. Yeah? Sean, is this the best Cruz performance of all time?

Oh, no. Is this it? Have we peaked with Cruz right here? I think it's his best movie star performance, which is relevant to an ongoing debate that we have been having on this show. We don't have to do it. I had it saved for later.

I don't think it's his best acting. I do think it's his most mesmerized. Do you have a best acting job in mind of what Cruz's best acting is? Is born on the Fourth of July? I think born on the 4th of July, Magnolia, or probably, Jerry McGuire. Jeremy McGuire is the fusion of the movie star crews and the great acting cruise. Cocktail?

Not cocktail, no. It's amazing a cocktail. You guys laugh. You guys see Dead Reckoning? What about for you, Chris Ryan? I think Oblivion is his best work. I think it's the cruziest cruise performance. That's where I landed.

What do you mean by that? He's just completely over the top in all the ways that I love about Tom Cruise. You think it's this or McGuire? McGuire, he's kind of, he's more control. Is he more recognizably human in a few good men or Jerry McGuire? He's just a maniac at this movie from the moment it starts. He's hitting softball line drives 140 miles an hour. And somebody comes over and he's just got the sarcasm button on and he's just thrown one liners.

I just love all that stuff where it's like anyone else. They're just like, how about you shut the fuck up, Kathy? And it's just like, he's just like drilling guys. I know the law. Relax, Tom. I think this and Cocktoe are the two where he just goes for it the most. But I think in the, by the mid-90s,

he starts bringing it back a little bit when he's in McGuire, he's in Eyes Wide Shut, Magnolia, even Vanilla Sky, which I kind of dig. He's scouting it. Yeah, I've been scouting Van Nukeye Lately. I don't know what the fuck happens in that movie, unfortunately.

I still, I still can't tell you, but I like you. it. So he's doing the arrogant, sarcastic, cocky swagger guy. He's doing the magnetic guy. He's doing the chip on his shoulder guy. And as always with Cruz, he just has people around him who are just there to serve Tom Cruise and to just make him feel better about coming through in the last 30 minutes. That's like me with CR. I'm his Joe Galloway. C.R. Who could have played Daniel Caffe in the last 35 years other than Cruz? I have one person that I think could have done it.

Are you asking me to think of more contemporary actors or just like the like since if you could. I'm saying from 92 on who else could have done it? Because like to me, this isn't a Hank's part. Yeah. Issa Ray? Downey. Downey, interesting. Is he too old by 92?

What do you're downy? Well, I mean, you'd like to get him after U.S. Marshals, like kind of on the. Like that? Yeah. On the upswing. Like Downing when he's off the rails a little bit, Downey? 1992 is the year of Chaplin Academy Award nominated. Yeah.

I had like mid-90s, Damon, like somewhere in the Goodwill Hunting rounder. He's got to be a little bit older. Kathy's supposed to be in his late 20s, right? Yeah. I didn't know lawyers could be that young. Like, you ever get a young lawyer? Like a really young lawyer?

Like a 14-year-old daughter? No, but like he's like out of college, out of law school, into the Navy, about to go to private practice. It just feels like it's a really accelerated education. And then within five minutes he's got the head of national security.

Yeah, and he's just like, I got him in a fucking vice. This guy's dead. Yeah. This was the cruise run of Top Gun and a Cocktail to Rain Man, Days of Thunder, a few good men. Far and a ways in there born the 4th of July. But for the most part,

he basically plays the same guy five times. Yeah. If you could tell me any difference to Daniel Caffe and Maverick and Young Flanagan and Cocktail, whatever the Rain Man guy's name was, And Cole trickle, they're all the same guy. Cold trickle stays with thunder, yeah.

Steve Rain, man, that was his name. Steve Rain. So you don't think Best Cruz's performance? I think he's electrifying in the movie, and I have a lot of takes about that. I'm sure we'll get to it. I just think born on the Fourth of July is like a different kind of performance.

And all of those movies are basically defined by the fact that it's like Cruz trying to overcome his youth and his exuberance, and he's usually got like an older father-figure in it. And this, it's like the best one he ever gets. Yeah. This one is a little different, though, where I feel like he is sarcastic and cocky and a hot shot, but also the smartest guy in the room? Well, they definitely tell him that all the time. They're just like, he's just like, he's like an okay lawyer who seems to please a lot

of stuff out and they're just like, you're the best lawyer I've ever seen. Your Supreme Court father lawyer would have no business going against you. Well, he's also, how long are we with caffeine in this movie? Like six months? Oh, I don't, how long is the trial? I thought shorter than that. Yeah, I thought the Jag Corps, they moved through it. They speed it up.

Not a girl to be seen for caffeine in this. That's the one thing. Well, he's got his softball going, you know? I was starting to get thrown in the trial. In season. I don't know, Joe comes over that one time. She's batting his eye, batter eyelashes. He's got to watch the non-plus.

He's like, there's an Orioles game on Joe. He's going to say Twins-O's. Jack Nichol's. in 1992 was our most famous actor. Yes. Correct. Over Pacino, over De Niro, over anybody.

And I remember I graduated from college at this point, I was living in Boston. The fact that he was in a movie with Cruz was a huge deal. It was like, oh my God, this is happening. And they were using like the Hannibal Lecter Hopkins. Like he's not in the movie that much, but when he's in, it's important.

What else do you remember, Chris, about it? I remember early on, that there was like in Premiere magazine and the word on the street was that like there is a big scene in this movie. There is the like that you kind of knew you would get a little bit of a taste of Nicholson but they were saving him for Game 7.

Like they were going to bring him in and it was going to blow your mind when you finally. Because the play was around and people, I think this was like a hot script. Yeah. There's more of him in this movie than I remember. Yeah. You know, when you revisit the movie, he has three significant sequences.

I don't think he's the end waiters eligible. No, he's in it. No, he's not. Too much in it. It's like over 30 minutes, yeah. Sorry, Jack Nicholson. To settle for your 12 Oscar nominations. This was his 10th Oscar nomination.

Did you look at his 80 to 92? I know you love runs. Have you looked at that run? Well, he moves into this weird... He does. He loves runs. It was like, did you go check out that vintage car, you know? Did you go check out that Porsche on a lot?

Obviously, I did see R. He moved into this Emeritus, role. Yeah. Like he's in broadcast news in 87. He leads an ironweed. He's in Batman.

He's got the big, you know, over the top. When are we doing ironweed? Never. Two Jake's disappointing. Man trouble disappointing. He kind of needed a few good men. Like by 90s. I don't think he like needed it.

Well, you know, he was like sitting in port side at the Lakers game. Everybody's like, you're amazing. Lakers were done at this point. And then he follows this up with Hafa and wolf. which is one of the worst movies of the last 30 years. It is an abomination.

No, it's awesome. Him and James Bader are werewolves. It's fucking awesome. If you guys want to drop some gummies and watch Wolf, you're going to enjoy it. This was his 10th Oscar nomination. 12 and all. Twice as Benny is Amy Adams.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe she'll catch him. one day. That would be amazing. If Amy Adams had like a Players Tribune letter, he's like, I'm chasing that ghost sitting court's side

for the Lakers. He's going to keep cranking them out until I get there. So they do this speech. She's playing like fucking Oppenheimer and Oppenheimer too. Is she in Oppenheimer? She's not. So the speech,

Rob Reiner has this story and some of you probably heard it, but, um, he figured they would shoot the Jack speech at the end and they would use a stand-in for when they cut to the cruise. They film the cruise part. They filmed the shot of like Demi Moore and Pollock. They show the jury.

So they got to film like eight versions of it. And Jack insists on doing his speech every time. And does it perfectly. And Ryan starts getting worried that he's going to run out of gas. And he's like, do you want to save a little bit for when we've got the camera on you? And Jack replies, Rob, you don't understand. understand. I love to act. This is like when you get mad if I do an episode of the watch earlier in the day before

rewatchables. And you're like, I don't want you all used up. There was one time I caught you in the third pod. I was like, bummed out. Yeah. It's like, see. See, CR. And he said, he said every time it was just a home run. And apparently everyone on the set was like, holy shit. Jack Nichols Day. It's like a famous day for it. Kevin Bacon and Kiefer Sutherland, we're both like, oh, that's what it means to be a movie star. That's what it means to really give a shit.

We'll get into later who won the scene, which I can't wait to discuss. This cast, Cruz Nicholson, DeBee Moore, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Pollock, J.T. Walsh, Kiefer Sutherland. Our first glimpse of evil Kiefer Sutherland? Yeah. Well, he's not that great in Lost Boys.

Or stand by me. Yeah. I guess. Always evil. Yeah. Cuba Gooding, No Wiley, and Chris Gass. This was based on Sorkin's 1989 play, directed by Rob Ryan. The play is cool.

You can see, like, a preview of it. Like, you got to download or whatever, but it is actually really entertaining to see, like, all this stuff from the script in different ways in the play. A little different, too. Yeah. A little different from the movie.

The background on Sorkin, Bartender, and his sister was a U.S. Navy Jag and was defending a group of Marines who had nearly killed a fellow Marine in a hazing. He's like, hmm. So he starts writing the play on cocktail napkins. He's bartending at the Palace Theater on Broadway.

This is probably the best, this is way better bartender story than mine. And then writes the play, finishes it, sells it, sells the film rights, and the rest is history. There's a little William Goldman catch with this, though. Our guy, William Goldman. Did it pass? Did it pass and came up with the idea for the flight

logs and was like, What if he makes the flight disappear, which when you watch the movie, it's like a huge part of the movie, and Sorkin loved it and put it in the play retroactively. Did you know that story? Yeah, but I thought that Goldman's big note was that the flight logs would not show

that they had erased the flight, that there was no evidence. Yeah, that sort of was. The airman and everything. Like in the play, it's very different. In the play, there is a smoking gun. But in the movie, there is no smoking gun. He just, Kaffey is just such a brilliant interrogator that he gets.

that he gets it out of Jensen. Goldman, great notes. He was the one that told the Goodwill hunting guys dumped the whole second after the script

they go on the run from the CIA. He's like, dumped the second part. They're like, okay, William Goldman, and then the rest of his history. Sorkin,

just the first movie he's ever done. Not bad. Solid start. Yeah. Does Malice, which Chris and I love, American president,

95, and he's off. You guys ever seen malice? Malice is bad shit. I did I get cut out of the malice appreciation society. It's happening right now. Which one of the three of us is the biggest sorkman? Well, Amanda Dobbins is the biggest sorkman.

I'm really big. Sean likes reenacting the scene from the newsroom where Don informs everybody that they killed bin Laden. He does that on every flight. I'm actually flying on Tuesday. I'd like to be the first to inform you. Yeah. I loved the newsroom.

That's a true story. I was working at Grantland and wrote a whole piece about how much I loved the newsroom. you don't like Westbrook. It's just like... Some can cook and some cannot. You'd only been with us for like a year and I gotta be honest.

I was like, Sean, it's pretty weird. It's pretty weird. It's up with this guy. He's a Jets fan. He loves the newsroom. I am what I am. Ten years later, we're still together.

He doesn't get nominated for this though. That's crazy. Neither does Rob Reiner. But Best Picture Nicholson Film Editing Sound. wasn't went to anything. Rob Reiner is on a heater at this point. He's in the Princess Bride when Harry met Sally. Misery. He started Castle Rock, which created Seinfeld, which printed billions of dollars. And this was his only film that got to $100 million in box office.

Where do you stand on him as a director 30 years later looking at the library? He's made some of my favorite movies of all time, and he has absolutely no distinguishable style whatsoever. There is not a single thing he does as a filmmaker. I'm like, that's a Rob Reiner shot right there. Classic Reiner. Just close up on the main actor. He's very good at point in camera. Rob, love your work. Thank you for your contributions.

No, I mean, but he's an old school kind of guy, obviously a Hollywood family. Carwiner is his father. He's all in the family. But he just is the ultimate relationships person, right? Like, everybody wants to work with him. His sets are a lot of fun. And he had great taste in script for in scripts for 10 years. He was a big TV star in the 70s and all in the family, and I think that.

I think when you've been a star, you know how to deal with the stars a tiny bit better. Kind of like Chris. Best picture, Unforgiven wins. Are we good with that? Unforgiven, I'm good with winning. You're good with that one? Yeah. Did they ask you before they gave it to them?

Yeah. I was working for Pricewaterhouse back then. Are you good with Hackman over Nicholson for Best Supporting Actor? Because that happened too. I think it's, I'll allow it. Yeah. I mean, I think it's like, they're totally different things. Hackman is an example of like underplaying and subtlety and Nicholson is just like turn it up to 11.

How about you? They had already given him one of these for terms of endearment, one of these like, yeah, you're like the fourth lead, but you're the best part of the movie kind of performances. So maybe they wouldn't have given to him for as good as it gets like five years later. And that's not as good as Jessup. You guys always argue this stuff like there's a logic to it though. Yes, I can solve their problems. Hackman or Nicholson, what would you go with? Yeah, so that's how I feel, too.

It would have been an interesting vibe if we had done an unforgiven rewatchables today. $40 million budget made $243 million. Not bad. Rotten Tomato Sean, 84%. I don't subscribe to that service. This is a tough one for our guy, Roger Ebert. Two and a half stars.

Yeah. You know, even the Great's missed sometimes. Imagine being like, meh at this, two and a half. He said Rob Reiner's A Few Good Men is one of those movies that tells you what it's going to do, does it, and then tells you what it did. I wish more things did that. The flaws are mostly at the screenplay level. The film doesn't make us work, doesn't allow us to figure out things for ourselves, is afraid we'll miss things if they're not spelled out. Just a direct assault on Sorkin.

Jesus. The audience reacting to that review is like a man is down in the 50-yard line. Oh, oh. Injury jazz. Oh, dear. We're going to commercial. This episode is brought to by Whole Foods Market. Spring is here, so celebrate it with fresh, juicy, seasonal produce and some very tasty,

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So which one are you trying first? Find two good creamers at your local retailer in the creamer aisle. All right, we're going to do the categories. The first one is Most Rewatchable scene. We have a couple new categories tonight. He made up up there. He did not prep us for those.

Most watchable scene. Nicholson's first scene? I just need to be transferred out of RSC. Sincerely, PFC William T. Santiago, U.S. Marine Corps. P.S. In exchange from my transfer off the base, I wanted to provide you with information about

legal fence line shooting that occurred the night of August 2nd. Who the fuck is PFC William T. Santiago? Private Santiago is a member of a second with Tomb Bravo, sir. Yeah. Well, apparently he's not very happy down here at Shangri-La because he's written letters to everybody, but Santa Claus asking for a transfer. And now he's telling tales about a fence line shooting. Matthew?

I'm a poll, sir. You're a poll. Who the fuck is PFC, William T, T, H. why are you making him sound like Alec Baldwin from the departed? I should have worked on this beforehand. Who the fuck? Do you have a Nicholson? No, I don't.

Like I do a Nicholson impersonation, no. I can do Kathy doing Nicholson probably, but I can't do that. I love when he serends his, he briefly serends the position in Cuba. Then he gets mad. I think our officers have responsibility to train young William. We're in the business of saving lives. Sounds better.

And then he pulls J.T. Walsh over. He's like, Matthew, we go back a while. Yeah. That's fucking brutal. I've elevated faster than you. If that's a problem. I don't give a shit. Yeah.

Our guy, J.T. Walsh. Next scene is the outdoor lunch with cigar chomping Jessup. I want to tell you something. And listen up. Because I really mean this. You're the luckiest man in the world. There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen,

than a woman that you have to salute in the morning. Promote them all, I say, because this is true. If you haven't gotten a blow job from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by. Colonel, the practice of code reds is still condemned by officers on this face. Of course, my problem is I'm a colonel, So I'll just have to go on taking cold showers until they elect some gal president. I didn't answer to my question, sir.

Take caution in your tone, commander. I'm a fair guy, but this fucking heat is making me absolutely crazy. Sean, what were they talking about for the hour before lunch was wrapping up? Like, baseball talk? I assume it was the O's, right? How was Baltimore doing that? No, they were talking about Cuba stuff? Lionel Caffee integrating the public school system

No, it's lunch. When they get through all of lunch and it ends And Jessup's like, yeah, and then they were surrendering to CNN crews. Because that's like an hour long lunch. And Kendrick's there, who's basically a psychopath. Yeah. I just don't know what they would have small talked about. Was Desert Storm happening at this time? Oh, maybe that was.

You think there's like some George Bush? Oh, they were talking to Norm. Storm and Norman? Storm and Norman. Yeah. It's very true. Yeah. It's like that Storm and Norman is a fraud. that's when he does the

you know it just hit me if you haven't gotten a blowjob from a superior officer you're letting the best go by and he's like my problem is they have an elected a female president

and you hear Kendrick in the background just laughing this is the only time he laughs the entire movie this is like you finally hit

my funny bone and he just gets madder and matter and then he does the investigate me you roll the dice take your chances see Danny

I can deal with the bullets and the bombs. He does that whole thing. I love this scene. I think this is my second favorite scene in the movie. Well, this is the Navy Whites scene, right? Oh, yeah. And the Harvard mouth.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like the shark comes out. It's amazing. This is not my second favorite scene. Not your second favorite scene. All right, tell us when we get there. Next one. It's Sean's second favorite scene in the movie.

we make that a permanent category? We could add it. This is Chris's second favorite scene. Kathy interrupting Jack's playing the game. Yes! Yes. Jack just walking off the court and leaving a pickup game. Smiling Jack Ross, the Tom Gugliata

precursor. If anyone ever did this in real life, it would be like the Tom Jonoovich from a Washington punch. Like, you just can't do this ever. It's the one thing you can't do is leave a game. It would be the malice in the palace. It would be unbelievable. We get Marketsons gone.

There is no Marketson. And they just go back and forth. Right to Cruz going to see Harold. Our guy Harold Dawson. And that's when Harold gives them that you're such a coward. I can't believe they'll let you wear a uniform won't salute him. Yeah. Some strong Harold.

We got a lot of Harold stuff coming later. Wolfgang Boddison. Yeah, we're a legend. Wolfgang Boddison stuff. I threw in the opening statements here for rewatchable just because if you're in courtroom month, I just love opening statements. I get disappointed when courtroom month doesn't have an opening statement. And Danny's so casual.

He's just like, that's just not true. Yeah. Lawyer. Well, Ross's opening statements are the first time where someone explains everything that's going to happen in the movie where he just says, this is what Kathy's going to do. He's going to say this happened. He's going to say this happen. Then he's going to call an officer to the stand.

He's going to try to smear them with these accusations. He just kind of spoils the movie. Yeah. But we don't want to believe it because we don't want to be on Kevin Bacon's side. so we choose not to believe it as we're watching it. The story I've just told you is the exact same story you're going to hear from Lance Corporal Dawson, and it's the exact same story you're going to hear from Private Downey. Furthermore, the government will also demonstrate that the accused soke the rag in poison

and entered Santiago's room with motive and intent to kill. Now Lieutenant Kaffey is going to try and pull off a little magic act here. It's going to try a little misdirection. It's going to astonish you. It's going to astonish you with stories of rituals and dazzle you with official sounding terms like Code Ritt. You might even try to cut into a few officers for you. He'll have no evidence, mind you, none, but it's going to be entertaining.

And when we get to the end, all the magic in the world will not have been able to divert your attention from the fact that Willie Santiago is dead, and Dawson and Downey killed him. These are the facts of the case, and they are undisputed. I'm kind of half-rooting for Kevin Bacon this whole movie. I know I'm not supposed to. Bacon also, he knows how to have like a work-life balance. Like, as soon as it's over, he's just like, great fucking job, Danny.

Let's get beers. Yeah. I'm going to go arrest Kendrick. Can he do that? Like, is he just like a prosecutor? I love the, these are the facts of the case, and they are undisputed, because he says it twice. Kevin Bacon is the number four guy in this movie.

Yeah. It's about as good of a number. I was thinking basketball team-wise. This is like... Sure. Like Jalen Brown, number four. Who is? Oh, no.

Wow. He asked me how Hardin was going upstairs. I had to get him back. I was making a Sixers joke and you just absolutely beat me and sit by throat. Look, any time you can give your number four guy. 70 million a year you gotta do it

who says no how do you think Kevin Bacon's handle was you think he could dribble yeah we never got to see you're a number two guy wants to get traded to the clippers it's probably eating right now um next scene the

the mess hall redirect he's double fisting hoagies right now the mess hall redirect um which turned in the chapter that discusses code reds I just follow the crowd at Chowtime, sir. And then the Kevin Bacon, he got me face. Yeah.

Pretty good stuff. And then the happy hour afterwards. Nice job on the redirect. Yeah, we love in court movies when the two sides, when they kind of respect each other. That leads to Markets and in the car, which I have a lot of questions for it. A couple more scenes.

You're a lousy fucking softball player, Jack. We got to put that in there. That's one of the most rewatchables, right? I'm not saying this to intimidate you. I'm being your lawyer. here. Thanks, Jack. And I want to tell you that I think a fucking bunch of you are certifiably insane. This code of honor of yours makes me want to beat the shit out of something. Don't you dare lump me in with Jessup and Kendrick just because we wear the same uniform. I'm your friend and I'm telling you. I don't think your clients belong in jail, but I don't get to make

that decision. I represent the government of the United States without passion or prejudice. My client has a case. Here you go. Now I want you to acknowledge that the judge advocate has made you aware of the possible consequences involved in accusing a Marine officer of a felon. without proper evidence. I've been so advised. You got bullied into that courtroom, Danny. By everyone. By Dawson.

By Galloway? Shit, I practically dared you. You got bullied into that courtroom by the memory of a dead lawyer. A football player, Jack. This coat of water makes me want to beat the shit out of someone. Like, Cruz, settle down, buddy. You got bullied into that courtroom, Danny, by everyone.

By Dawson, by Galloway. Shit, I practically did. dared you. You got bullied in that courtroom by the memory of a dead lawyer. Brutal stuff. Yeah. Not as brutal as the Jalen Brown comment, but really bad. Same kind of thing, though, yeah.

You think he'll carry this through the rest of the pod? Yeah, I need some time to recover. I think you got a couple of years. Kendrick's. I got Kendrick's testimony. Yeah. angry Kendrick I have drunk Tom Cruise

he told Kendrick to order the code red he did that's great why didn't you say so and of course you have proof of that oh I'm sorry I keep forgetting you were sick the day they taught law at law school you put him on the stand and you get it from him

oh we get it from him yes no problem we get it from him Colonel Jessup isn't it true that you ordered the code red on Santiago listen we're all a little eh I'm sorry your time's run out. What do we have for the losers, Judge? Well, for our defendants, it's a lifetime at Exotic Fort Leavenworth. And for defense counsel, Kathy. That's right. It's a court marshal. Yes,

Johnny. After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kathy will have a long and prosperous career teaching typewriter maintenance at the Rocko Colombo School for Women. Thank you for playing. Should we, or should we, or should we We not follow the advice of the galactically stupid. Wow. This is my second favorite scene. Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid? The Rocco Globo School for Women.

Yeah, what is the Rocco Club School for Women? Aaron's sork and shit. Just like him looking in the yellow pages and be like, that works. This scene is insane. Yeah. It's borderline kind of scary for Joe Galloway there for about two seconds. Do you want to talk about whether how familiar Cruz is with the experience of being inebriated? I'd love to.

Yeah. So he drinks like most of a, what, a fifth of Jack, right? He's driving. No big deal. Yeah. And fucking instantaneously soberes up. As soon as it like occurs to him that he, he has to do this because of the memory of his dead lawyer. And I just don't know that I've ever seen a guy act drunk that way.

And he's drinking like that little thing of Jack DeNus. Yeah, it's like, yeah, just a little hip, hip flask. One thing guys who are drunk are really good at are giving coherent monologues. That's one of their best skills. So it's a good scene to me. Also, Joe doesn't know that Kendrick killed himself. She assigned the two. Markinson, yeah.

Yeah, or Markinson. that she assigned the two people to watch his hotel room and still this is news to her that this happened. There's no Twitter. There's a pouring rain. Thread on Markinson. X, yeah. It's pouring rain the whole day.

Yeah. But she is like, she's leaving Kathy's place. He has a whole 10-minute scene with Kevin Pollock. And she's like a block away. drunk drives to go chase her down and she's just walking in the rain aimlessly down the street. Everything about this is great. Is it already time for are we sure Commander Joe Galloway is good? No, we're a while away.

Are we sure Joe Galloway is fast? All right, last scene. My pick, Cruz versus Nicholson. 21 minutes long. It's like a prize fight. Cruz wins the first round. White in San Diego Pack. Whoa, got them.

Jessup. 10-8 second round. Like there's a knock. He's like, please tell me their lawyer has to pin their own to a phone bill. And Cruz does the... Danny, I love Washington. Deer in the headlights face. Yeah.

What do you want to talk about now? My favorite color? Yeah. Cruz wins the third round. I'm not done with my examination. Sit down. And then Jessup wins the fourth one. We follow orders or people die.

Are we clear? You ever served in an infantry unit, son? No, sir. Ever served in a forward area? No, sir. Ever put your life in another man's hands? Asked him to put his life in yours? No, sir.

We follow orders, son. We follow orders or people die. It's that simple. Are we clear? Yes, sir. Are we clear? Crystal. Colonel, I've just one more question before I call Airman O'Malley and Hermann Rodriguez.

If you gave an order that Santiago was a... to be touched. And your orders are always followed. And why would Santiago be in danger? Why would it be necessary to transfer him off the base? And then Cruz comes back. Big round for Cruz in the fifth.

Why the two orders? The fundamental question of the movie. Why are the two orders? Why did Santiago have to be transferred off the base? The eyebrows are going nuts. Yeah. He's doing this thing. Why?

Why? Why, Colonel? Why? But he is in a full-blown whisper. He's whispering while he's having a seizure. But the jury needs to hear what he's saying and they can't hear him. Because he's whispering

to Jack Nicholson. It's very weird. And then that you can't handle the truth scene. Colonel Jesser, did you order the Code Ray? You don't have to answer that question. I'll answer the question. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth.

Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's going to do it? You, you, Lieutenant Weinberg, I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death while tragic probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties. You want me on that wall.

You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time or the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide

and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to. Did you order the code red? I did the job. Did you order the code red? You're goddamn right, I did.

Just one of the great, this is, now the whole concept of this podcast, the rewatchables, is come home, there's like 45 minutes. I'm like, oh, this is on. Oh, shit. This is one of the all-time. Oh, we're going to be in the Jessup speech? Yes. I'm staying.

Yeah. And Nicholson, wow. What is the greatest moment of his career if it's not this? I want you to hold it between your knees. Five easy pieces. It's a pretty good one. Easy rider. Well, I think that's like an interesting thing about this character.

Going through the door and the shining. Yeah. Shining, that's good one. He never played an authority figure, really. he was always the rebel. He was always the guy who was operating against the system. And this is a rare time. He was the joker.

He was an anarchist. He's never a guy who is trying to hold the system in place, like operate out of a deviance. He's amazing. But he's still kind of like rebellious, because he's like, I actually am not subscribing to laws. I'm not subscribing to what you think the Marine Corps should be doing. You don't think Jessup should have been canceled?

Yeah. You don't want the truth because deep. down in places you don't talk about at a party is you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. That was the acoustic Jessup performance. Either way, I don't give a damn

what you think you're entitled to, and then Cruz comes right in. So this is my second most rewatchable scene. My first most rewatchable scene is the next scene where Downey doesn't understand that he's been disallowed underby discharged. He's like, what happened? I think this is

in the running for greatest cruise scene ever. Yeah. It's, I don't. This is like a top five rewatchable scene flat out. Like, watch it on, I'll watch it on YouTube just to see you, cut these guys loose. Yeah. Like, it just fires me up to see him do it.

I mean, here's the thing. Cruz wins. He wins. He wins going away, in my opinion. He beats Nicholson. Yeah, I think so. Not obviously in the movie, his character beats Jessup, but watching the scene, when I watch it now,

when I was a kid, I had the same thing that you were describing, which is leading up to the release of this movie, the conversation was, there's an amazing Jack Nicholson scene to end this movie. But when I watch it now, I'm watching it for Cruz. I'm watching it for, and when it went bad, you cut these guys loose, you had Markinson's, you know, sign the phony transfer order,

you doctored the log books, all that. That is my favorite part of the movie. I think Cruz wins, too. I agree. What does everybody else think? Yeah. Cruz. Amazing.

Democracy. What's age the best? Did you have any other rewatchable scenes? Anything else that we didn't talk about? I really like when Joe goes to see Cruz for the first time and he's hitting ground balls. 130 miles an hour? Yeah, yeah.

To Sherby? No, that's when Matt Craven comes and they do the first plea bargain. But when Joe comes, that's the first sign of Yoohoo, which is not a sponsor of the podcast tonight. I love that scene. What's age the best? Give me one, CR. I have a whole list. Of what age the best?

Yeah. Well, you know what? Honestly, the movie ends at the end of the trial. We don't have 10 minutes of like, hey, man, great job. Your dad would be really proud of you. And oh, that's awesome, Joe. And maybe we can go on a date after this or not, you know, whatever. And Kevin Pollock's like, I'm going back to my job, not doing anything, you know? Bloomberg's like, my daughter's finally spoken a word.

There's no CODA. I think that's amazing. It's just like, I'm here for the trial. The trial's over. The movie's over. I have a bunch of stuff, but I love the rollercoaster Caffy Dawson relationship

that really hits rock bottom, but then we end with a really corny scene that just gets me every time. Ten hut. Harold? You don't have to have a patching your arm to have honor. And then Wolfgang Bill Odison

just fucking goes for it. Yeah. Ten hut! There's an officer on deck. That one always gets me. I love bacon in this point of his career. where he's like, you know what, I'm probably not Tom Cruise,

but you know what I can be? Scotty Pippin. Yeah. That's who I am. Yeah. That's who I am for the next 20 years. That's what age the best. It's Kevin Bacon coming to this realization.

I am overqualified to be Jack Ross. Right. But did he ever say that to anybody? I think he knows that. It's a good one. There's some Jerry McGuire Rod Tidwell foreshadowing with Cruz and Cuba Gooding in the courts.

together. So Sorkin creates his trademark in this movie of the two characters walking down the hallway. The Wauk. The Wicty Banner, The Walkin' Talk with Jack Ross and Kaffee. Semi-evil. Is he the best? Purely evil or semi-evil? I think he's deeply racist and probably a misogynist.

And also a war criminal. So, yeah. On those three, I mean, you know, those categories, he checks all the. boxes. I like all you Navy boys. Every time we have to go somewhere to fight, you fellas give us a ride. Just a great thing.

And then him on Santiago. Hot take. He's dead because he had no code. He's dead because he had no honor. God is watching. Jesus. That would be fucking if Kendrick had been like, Hot take.

Coming up next. I'm going to tell you why Santiago's dead. Is that what you will say when the Celtics trade the Jalen Brown contract? No. All right. Do you want me to start doing Jets jokes? I expect nothing less.

Cruz's Nicholson impersonation was not scripted. So they genuinely were laughing when that happened. Do you believe that or do you think that's a story that Tom Cruise told people to tell? I think to me more is pretty sincere. Joe Galloway does not laugh the entire rest of the movie. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

You know what was pretty is aged the best, but I can't tell if it's like an age of the best or is aged out of existence. is lying on the couch, holding a baseball bat, watching a baseball game while wearing a sick Hawaiian shirt, and probably thinking about, like, the baseball game. And not being like,

I wonder if Mitch McConnell had a stroke today. That's so weird. I better go check YouTube. And just being completely fucking, yeah. That's how I watch baseball now. That's the best. I agree. Are you okay?

Yeah. Kathy's 1963 Chevy Impala Pretty nice Airman Cecil O'Malley and Anthony Rodriguez Most impactful characters who never had a line

They don't speak They didn't even get paid We should have put them on the marquee for sag They didn't even get a lot The Ringer This is coming up next This is

This should be in half-ass trivia But it's what's age the best for me originally Kendrick was the one driving the Humvee when he picks up them and they're in the whites and he couldn't drive the extra wide vehicle, Kiefer's other one, and actually hit Marines on multiple takes. And they had to exchange it for Noel Wiley

who could drive the car better. Do you think that's why he did 24? Is that true? Yeah. Where did you find that? We got a crowd. I got to do some research for this one. Did you call Kiefer on that?

that one? I didn't. Not surprised. Child actor. What else do you have for what age is the best, Sean? I think Guantanamo Bay is the site of corrupt action. You know, that seems like a pretty... Best? Well, it resonates. Yeah. Yeah. It works. It plays. But there's not everything about it plays. I also have early 90s crews for me, just aging the best because he's... We still love Tom Cruise, right? He's like a relative who comes to Thanksgiving and you're like, oh man, Uncle Tom's here. Geez, don't ask him about whatever. Yeah.

But he still like him. You know, he had some good times with him way back when, but kind of hope he doesn't get going after that second glass of wine. After that fifth of Jack. Yeah, I'm just like, oh man, don't ask Tom about, you know, CGI. This is you in the pocket of Big Hanks right now. All right, quickie awards.

The Big Cahuna Burger Award, Best Use of Food and Drink. the Baltimore crabs. I like, they're like smashing crabs. Uh-huh. I would say that in the U-hoo. I have a, Caffee thinking at the monument

getting the Den of Thieves, Benihana, scene stealing location award, and the Great Shot Gordo. I like the wide shot. You doubled it up. Yeah, let a white shot at D.C.

The Vincent Chase Award, named after Adrian Grenier and Entourage, are we sure this character was actually good at his job? So, Dawson. He engaged with his mayor and shot across

the enemy lines. Yeah, so he almost starts World War III. And then he's asked to give a code red and kills a guy. And then he's, you know, Downey's not exactly a rocket scientist. At no point does Dawson ever point out to anybody that he

was the only one in the room when Kendrick ordered the code red? Are we sure Dawson was good at his job? At being a Marine or being a defendant? Just being anything. I mean, Joe Gallo says he is a poster child, like a poster marine, so I take her word for it. You do, huh? Yeah.

We're bringing back the Unintentional Comedy Award, which was in the first rewatchables. I'm going to give you the following choices. Drunk Tom Cruise, which already won. We already have the award. Cruz hitting softballs way too hard. He'd clearly never held a softball bat before, ever. And just extras getting murdered. Adam's apple

ball sated them broken fingers he just has no idea what he's doing oh my god Kendrick laughing after the blowjob joke we mentioned smiling Jack Ross leaving the pickup game and then randomly anti-Semitic jessup

when he's like you lieutenant Weber it's like whoa this got dark really fast drunk drunk cruise wins any other unintentional comedy for you I mean there's a lot of unintentional comedy

but I think I have it filed away for later categories it's really funny to me that the funniest person in this movie is the least funny person in the movie? Chris Guest is in the movie. He's like, I am an internist. He's like, yes. No.

There's no Chris guest whatsoever in the movie. The Tom Sizmore action is the juice award for Best To To To Tome Moment for a non-star. Kevin Pollock just chewing out to me more. Yeah. They were bullies. Just,

goes right into them and leads her to say the, because they stand on a wall, and they say nothing's going to hurt you, not on your watch. So you're a super big fan of Demi Moore's performance. Well, he, that's a 10-8 round for him. All right, let's do it. The Butch's Girlfriend Award Weeklink of the film.

I actually enjoy how miscast Demi Moore is in this movie, and I think if it was a serious actress, I don't think the movies is fun to watch. So, like, if it was aiming to watch. So, like, if it was aiming. Adams. But let's say Julianne Moore is Joe Galloway.

She's just playing it straight. Is the movie more fun? Probably not. Well, Julianne Moore, when Weinberg says all that to her, she could go, Don't call me lady! In the myriad of featureettes

that I watched after watching this movie, there's one that talks about every single actor and everybody is interviewed. Sorkin has interviewed, Reiner, has interviewed, Cruz, the whole lot. And they go through character by character. They talk about for five minutes why Kevin Pollock was perfect for this movie,

why Kiefer Southern Lin was perfect for this movie, how much they nailed their parts, how they came to play every day because Jack Nicholson raised the level. And I kid you not, Rob Reiner is like, here's the thing about Demi Moore in this movie. She had to audition for this part, and she got the part. And that's pretty much all he says. Wow.

And it's like, Demi Moore was a big star at this time. Right. And she had to audition in a movie full of movie stars. that definitely did not have to audition. Well, she just spends the entire movie being like, Kathy, you're the best. I was going to, I asked when we originally did this, I asked Amanda if she set back the

woman's movement, won three or five years in this movie. It is this character that existed for a long time and faded in the 21st century, the emotional support female lead. Yeah. Who's just there to kind of bring our hero home and look at them glowingly,

and that's why they're there. I mean, Cruz has a litany of of like Gene Triplehorn in the firm. Oh, yeah. Just people are like, man, I can't believe I got to marry you. What's that like? I have no idea.

Do you think they have chemistry, Demi Moore, and Tom Cruise? I don't think that they are unwatchable in any way. I just don't think they have any sexual vibes going whatsoever. I just think she's been saddled with Sork and Dialogue, which she is not equipped to deliver. So, like, she just never feels like a human being because she's not that kind of actor.

I think she's another good movie star, but Cruz is delivering on this work in dialogue, and she's not. It's like, it's really awkward watching her in this movie. We're going to win. It's like, all right. I strenuously object. That part's tough.

Yeah. But as this movie ages, I kind of like it. Like, it is a fun wrinkle that it's just like, man, this was kind of a miss. Can co-counsel just tap in whenever they want like that? I don't think so. What's age the worst? You're under arrest, you son of a bitch?

I just don't think he's saying that to Jess. I think Judge Julius is taking the gloves off. He's like, you guys, whoever leaves wins. Sean mentioned Christopher Guest as Dr. Stone. You thought that age the worst? What is this performance? It's really weird. Did you want like a funnier internist from Guantanamo Bay?

Christopher Guest, why is he in the movie? Because he's buddies with writers. I mean, it's obviously, you know, they did this as Spinal Tap and their friends, but it's a very weird, like, it would be like if I cast you as Dr. Stone, I'd be like, let me find the funniest guy I've ever met and make him be boring. It's such a weird choice. Very strange. Kathy has a Nintendo on top of his TV. That's aged fantastically. That's how every fucking guy got down in the 92.

I wrote down Luther, the newsstand guy. That's pretty tough character. That's absolutely horseshit. That's some of the dumbest shit ever in a Sorkin movie. Yeah. Where they're just repeating aphorisms at each other. And he's like, I like old black men. I'm a progressive young man.

Guess you guys didn't go to enough magazine stands in the 90s? What was the name of your guy? My guy. This movie has a clue board game reference that I'm not sure anyone under 35 would get. Are you still play Clue? Yeah. People know what clue is. All right, fine.

Should we do the movie clue on the rewatchables? See that? You're all cut off. Ebert's review has this, too. As a What Stage the Worst? He wrote, The movie doesn't think the audience is very bright. It's just a personal attack.

You mentioned Downey. We did nothing wrong. We did nothing wrong. He's just a complete idiot. I have more questions about him later. How? He perjures himself. He's just,

like, ah, yeah. Markinson's suicide letter, which ends. Jesus, Phil. Hold on.

I'm going to land this plane of a pro. We've got 300 of these. You're going to land it like Denzel in flight. I'm going to land it.

I'm going to roll it. We got it. Give you a second. Writes this whole letter to Santiago's parents, which ends. And the truth is this. Your son is dead

for only one reason. I wasn't strong enough to stop it. Always, Lieutenant Crane and Matthew H. Markinson. What? Always. Yeah. You're about to put a gun in your mouth. That'd be amazing.

Always for about two more seconds, Lieutenant Markinson. I just don't get that at all. Holy shit. Yeah. That's a good one. The ending just has the end in big capital letters. Yeah. I love that.

You like it. It's the end. No, that's awesome. My Great Shot Gordo is the last. Last shot, pull up, seeing him standing in the courtroom by himself, and the end, because it's like a movie that could have been made in 1935, 1965, 1992. It's a beautiful ending.

It's a guy who's seen Oppenheimer three times. Six days. Great film. All right, let's talk, U-hoo. Wait, let's talk, what? For what stage the worst? Caffe doesn't shake the U-Hoo before he drinks it. Does somebody want to try the U-Hoo?

I'm not going to drink it. But. And Chris, you pointed this out six years ago, but he finished his softball practice and just immediately-guzzles the Yoo. Which is like how I used to behave when I was 14, but not when I was a lawyer. Is Kathy like 12 years old? Yeah. It's like a Josh Baskin thing. The clothes of this movie are very early 90s.

It was a rough era for all this. They've come back, though. Like Joe's whole outfit is in the mix, the high-waist jeans, right? Kathy has some horrendous shirts. Yeah. They look like Super Bowl Media Day, like some of the sports writers. I feel like I dress exactly like Sam. Like Sam wineberry?

Yeah. I put this in what stage is the worst. Cruz said he modeled his performance on his friend, the Church of Scientology chairman, David Miskavage. Yeah. That one is still clinging to the Wikipedia page. According to the book going clear, it's something Ms. Kavich bragged about to his friends.

Wouldn't you? That I was Daniel Kaffey. Yeah. Kind of wish I hadn't read that one. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. It sure is.

So is this. I'm about to bring the crowd down. So Sorkin took this story from the real-life incident we mentioned earlier. Lance Corporal David Cox, nine others, tied up a fellow Marine, severely beaten him for snitching to naval criminal investigators. He was acquitted and later honorably discharged. In 1994, he mysteriously vanished, and his bullet-riddled body was found three months later and the murder remains unsolved. Is that on our conspiracy?

Did you find that? In the Wikipedia. So when you were working on this last night and you were like, I found this nugget. I'm going to share this with 400 people. It's going to go great. It was found dead and nobody knows how it happened.

That age the worst. Any other what's aged the worst for you guys? Yeah, I got a few. We don't get to see Cruz play five on five hoops. He's supposed to be in that Jack Ross game, but he's too busy at Cuba. But I like getting Tom Cruise in a five on five basketball game with Kevin Bacon. So what sports have we seen him play? Well, he plays basketball and cocktail. He plays football and oblivion and war of the worlds.

He plays cornerback in all the right moves. It's like sauce gardener in that movie. Sauce Gardner. We save it softball drive. He wishes he was sauce garden. What else has he done? Top Gun volleyball. Top Gun volleyball. Top Gun. The two. football, football? Oh, double football. Double football?

Dogfight football. That's what they call it. Yeah, gymnastics is a firm. The gymnastics in the firm. Tumbling? No, that was stunt double. I think in more of the world's... Pool and the color of money.

Oh, billiards. Yeah, we're kind of that. Bare knuckle boxing and far and away. We're the world's tough throwing motion for Cruz. Yeah. Yeah, wasn't great. I have a couple others, though.

just everybody after four days of like so-so legal work four people coming up to Kathy and being like, you're the goat. It's kind of like NBA Twitter after like three games of the season where they're just like, is Tyrese Maxie the MVP who says it? Oh, and it's like, no, he's not. He's not.

Trust me. And so like just watching Kathy for like not really do very well in the opening parts of the trial. You should have seen yourself today, Daniel. Yeah. And Sam's like, you would have busted your dad's ass in that courtroom. That's the inch of the worst.

Show don't tell, you know? Needing to defend our position against Cuba is kind of a funny one. We don't think of Cuba in quite that way. It's not 4,000 men trying to kill Jack Nicholson. More formidable than the Top Gun Maverick opponent? Well, who knows? Who can say, right? With the country of...

Yeah. Ron Berger, the flu to wear best time for a pee break. First eight minutes. Yeah. You're fine. Just come in minute nine. Hit start. Yeah.

Take a league. Nine minutes in. Grab some pretzels. For me, it was whatever the crab date is with Joe. I'm just like, what is this? That's electric shit. Are you kidding me? Where he's like, you need to prepare yourself for the fact that we're going to lose.

It's good. You'd rather watch those guys warm up as Marines. I want to see the code red in action. That's what I want to see. You know, in the research, it said cruise practice cracking crabs for four months. He actually became a crab fisherman. Yeah. Was there a better title for this movie?

I think Code Red is in the mix, right? Yeah. How about two orders? No, that gives it away. Code Red? Yeah. Is that Code Red or a few good men? What do you think?

All right. How about Best Porn Parity Title? dishonorable discharge or a few more good men. Best quote... I feel like nothing but the truth is a good... Porn name?

Different title for this film. Nothing but the truth would be a pretty flat, I'd probably skip that. My stage name, my stage porn name is the truth. It's not Jonathan J. Kendricks. Best quote, obviously, it's you can't handle the truth, But we also have, so this is what a courtroom looks like,

and the hits just keep on coming, nobody likes her very much. Don't I feel like the fucking asshole? I have no responsibilities here whatsoever. My favorite, though, is there is no Marketson. Marketson is gone. Yeah, I love that one. This movie has so many quotes. I was writing for ESPN back with my figures work.

I did 50 of the quotes for an MBA, like free agency, something in 2003. It was perfect for it. It seems to be a piece of writing that's really lived with you since I know. I'm going to do a full reading of that column right now. Stephen A. Smith, Hottest Take Award. See how you have one? Yeah, I know we're doing this live, but this is a little bit of a work in progress, so I wanted to see if how it lands.

Yeah, all right. Oh, this is like when Chappelle goes up. Just working with the crowd. Yeah, don't record this, Craig. Is Danny Caffey the Jimmy Butler of Law? bad locker room guy constantly undermining authority distracted by outside endeavors for kaffy it's softball for jimmy it's big face coffee but he is fucking nails when it matters most you know i like it also the other one is just like are we sure that this case is that big of a deal

like it just feels like some bullying that got out of hand and the grand scheme of things that the Marine Corps have done? Your hottest take is that Santiago deserve to die. No, no, no. It's just more like, they act like they've like saved democracy in that courtroom and I'm kind of wondering if it even warrants like a mention

in the Washington Post. My hottest take did private Santiago deserve to die? I don't know. Did it save lives? Like, you could argue it did. I don't know. You're not a big snitch guy. Not big on snitches. That guy had no code.

He had no code. Unicor, blog, country. Yeah. Do you have a hottest take or no? It's a little hard to top Santiago, deserve to die. Well, you know, I said that I think Cruz won the scene. I also think that Cruz should have been nominated for Best Actor, and I also think he should have won,

and I think this should have been the first of his three Academy Awards that he has not received. Well, that would have helped. Do you think the Scavich should have given him the award, like, and just been like... Well, we know that he's given him many awards since. for his service, so I'm not worried about that. Oh, I forgot to do this. It's a new award.

It's the Father Robert Duval Award for Best Unexpected Candleau. We don't know these, by the way. No, Chris Guest. Just out of nowhere, Chris Guest. Father Robert Duvall. Yeah, an invasion of the body standards. He's just a priest for 10 seconds for reasons that are being unclear. Just wanted to throw that in there.

Casting what ifs. So Gene Hackman turned down Jessup to do Unforgiven. Good move or bad move, Sean. He wins the Oscar for him forgiven. Obviously, a good move. They went to Hackman before Nicholson. Apparently they did. You know who else they interviewed?

Jimmy Woods. James Woods, and then they yanked the offer when Nicholson said yes, they were like, never mind. Sorry, Jimmy. James Woods would have killed us. James Woods would have been good. Yeah, he really would have. No, Nicholson did.

condoning the public persona of James Woods, but he was an amazing piece of shit. When they landed, Nicholson, Reiner said it was like landing Babe Ruth. So, Demi Moore dropped her $3 million asking price down to $2 million because she was coming off the triple box office failure of the butcher's wife, mortal thoughts, and nothing but trouble. Nothing but trouble is a tough one, yeah. I'm going to drop my asking price from three to two.

was her reaction. A little like James Hardin right now. Stuck on the Sixers. Yeah. For $35 million for one year. But she was battling two actresses. Do you know the two? I don't, but I was just thinking of Aaron Rogers

dropping his asking price to go play for the New York Jets. Thank you to Aaron Rogers for doing so. Jody Foster and Linda Hamilton. Ooh. It's really hard to imagine Lyndall Hamilton being like, you're so important. It's a different movie. Yeah.

It is. But you could have jousted with him better. She's tough. She's breaking out the guns at one point, too, right? She's fucking smashed that crab with a fist. Yeah. She's in a tank top for that scene. She wouldn't even break the scrap.

I don't know. The crowd's going to really react to this next one. Originally cast as Sam Weinberg. Jason Alexander. Yeah. And then Seinfeld renewed for season two. Had to drop out. Kevin Pollock.

I bet that's been financially adventuited. just to Jason Alexander. He's fine. I think Weinberg's better with Jason Alexander, though. As much as I like Kevin Pollock. Disagree. Disagree.

Why? Also, aren't you glad you don't have to watch a few good men and think of George every time? Oh, that's fair. That's a solid point. There's something kind of squirmy

about Jason Alexander. You know, I think of him and pretty woman. It would have made Weinberg more interesting. Do you think that it would have been cooler if Larry David had been Sam Weinberg? That would have been awesome.

My kid, can't talk yet. I don't like it. Wolfgang Bodison was working for Rob Reiner as a location scout, and then Reiner, for some reason, decided he was perfect to be Harold Dawson, and all of a sudden he's acting with Cruz and Nicholson. This is a thing that actually happened. You can't overstate the craziness of this story. Yeah, never acted before.

It's a heat check from Rob Reiner. Yeah. He's like, I'm Rob Ryaner. I'm put my location scout in. They come to him and they're like, Rob, we got an extra mill, because Debbie dropped her asking price. You can have anybody. And he's like this guy.

He's, but I mean, he's good. He's good. Dawson is good in this movie. I think James Marshall's good. It's just a... Yeah, but he's an actor. Like, Wolfgang Boddison has to go toe to toe, you know, the...

With Cruz. God, core country. That whole speech with Cruz. Yeah. And he holds up his end of the... Unit core God country. Oh, sorry. What's your code?

What years did you serve? Primarily nom, but... You know, like, yeah. The Tom Cruise Award for Most Valiant attempt to emulate a normal human being goes to Tom Cruise. The softball scenes, which I watch carefully and delightedly. So this time around, I actually did wonder, can you imagine if you're on the team with Daniel Kaffee?

He's like, we're going to do batting practice for our rec softball league. And I'm going to hit a bunch of like, do people really fucking shag grounders? It's like a bar leak, right? Do you think he ad libs? Let's go, let's get two. On one of his hits, or is that in the Sorkin's script? I do have to share with the audience that when we were up in the green room, CR said that if he played in this league, he could hit 280.

Oh, easy. He did say that. I could switch hit and fucking hit 280 in this league. And also, this was back before dorks ruined baseball, so it wouldn't be like my Opie. Yeah, you're on base percentage by 310, but you'd hit 280. Well, Cruz also wins the Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge Overacting Award for Drunk Tom Cruise. Also, miraculously sober the next morning cruise. He's fine.

That's that guy. J.A. Preston is the judge. I actually didn't know what his name was. Prescott. Prescott? Prescott? I still don't know what his name is. Might be Preston. Well, I don't mention him, but the winner is.

in the beginning, one of the three guys interviewing Joe Galloway was that guy who played the 902-0 rapist, Garrett Slane. Talk about it, that guy. I have no idea what that guy's name is. Yeah, there's some nano-2-0. You're leaving one on the table, though. Which, who is it? Sam and Danny's boss is Zander Berkeley,

who also plays Ralph in Heat, which people remember is the guy who's bawling my wife. But you cannot watch my television! Is, in your mind, is Michael D. Lorenzo fit the bill for this from New York undercover who plays Santiago? I think he's Michael D. Lorenzo.

Do you got, are you guys huge Michael D. Lorenzo fans? Yeah, that was a big shit. It was, but I knew Malikio was named like from the day I was born. Never, I couldn't never remember his name. This episode is brought to by the active cash credit card from Wells Fargo. That's a mouthful, but that's because it packs a lot of. in. Earn unlimited 2%

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forward slash active cash. Terms apply. This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list. Not one more. With Carvana, it is. Just go to Carvana.com, and to your license plate or Vin, and get a real offer down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises, just an experience you can trust.

Like your offer? Accept it. Schedule pickup, and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today. Carvana. Pick up fees may apply. Diane Waiter's Award, if it's not Jack Nicholson, who is it?

Is it Kendrick? It feels dirty to say Kendrick. No, he's really good in this. Free casting couch. If we just had Will Smith and Brad Pitt as Dawson and Downey, is this a better or worse movie? Let's start up. If Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were just in the jury,

wouldn't that be cool? At the time of their careers, it's realistic. And Brad Pitt could have played Downey like Floyd and Cheroamance, and it would have been the same character. Hell. Wait, you think we're going to be. Floyd would be downy. Yeah. That would be amazing.

But here's what I got for Joe. My runner-up choices were Julianne Moore and Gina Davis. My winner is Angela Bassett. And I think she would have been fucking awesome as Joe Galloway. Yeah, the crowd agrees. Thanks, guys. Appreciate that.

Half-Fast internet research. We've done most of these. We didn't do that. Cruise was paid $12.5 million. Nicholson, $5 million for 10 days of shooting, $500,000 a day. Jalen Brown numbers. It's Jalen Brown numbers. It really is.

Is that? 500? It's close. Nicholson was bad that Columbia Pictures moved the film's release date to direct to compete against his other film, Hoffa, which was bad. Hoff is okay.

They wouldn't let them shoot at Camp Pendleton. Blue by that one. Do you like it? Yeah, Hoff is good. He got nominated for... Golden Raspberry. What's that? Hoffa was kind of the Hardin of union leadership, though.

Was he not? No, he got a lot farther in the playoffs than Hardin did. Jack Nicholson and J.T. Walsh were in Hoffa and a few good men and became very good friends. And when he won his third Oscar, he dedicated to the memory of J.T. Walsh. Oh, that's nice. They turned out, Markinson and Jessup, they linked together. How many movies do you think Kevin Bacon has played a character named Jack? Four. Four.

Five, six. Frost Nixon, my dog, skip, Apollo 13, this movie, Quicksilver, and Friday the 13th in 1980. Quicksilver is sick. Is that the cycling one? Yeah, the bike messenger one. Yeah. So Pollack has done a lot of interviews and podcasts about this movie,

and he said there was a Godfather night at Tom and Nichols. I shudder to think what that could mean. He said they screened the Godfather in their home theater. Oh, nice. It was followed by an Italian feast, and then they watched Godfather Part 2. That's a long night. That's like a nine-hour night. It's like eyes wide shut.

It's light work for me. You would have done that? Hell yeah. What a great night, right? Who cooked? Should you have Cruise night and just do Godfather 1 and 2 with an Italian feast? Me and Tom? Yeah, two of you.

Hell yeah. I love that. You think Tom listens to the rewatchables? No. And I think of all the things we've said about him, he's going to zero in on that. They're like, I have to have dinner with Sean. Sean, been listening for years. Your episodes are my favorite.

I want to come over and watch The Godfather with you. So I did the research on the two baseball games that Cruz, Kathy's watching this movie. Yeah. The first one is a Braves Padres game. Dave Justice hits a homer to tie on the bottom of the 10th. Padres win 11 to 10. Atlanta goes on to lose the 91 World Series.

Heartbreaking. Two. Second one, Minnesota, Baltimore. It's a Kirby Bucket. Rick Aguilera blows the save. Randy Milgan, game-winning double, which we see on TV. And that's the end of a twin streak. Minnesota wins the World Series.

A few good men, determining the World Series. Apex Mountain, Demi Moore, no. Oh, I have one more piece of Internet research. Sorry. What do you got? There is a New York Times article about how at one point in the 2010s, there were a bunch of lawyers in Connecticut

who were claiming to have been the inspiration for Daniel Caffee. And it was like right at that edge where you could get away with shit like that and no one would really investigate it. So there's a guy just had a website. He's like, you may have seen a few good men. That was me.

If you get in an accident, I will defend you. And in the New York Times, is like, is that true? And he was like, he just took it off his website. That's pretty sick. People should do shit like that more. I was the inspiration for cruising. Now I work for Bill Simmons.

Apex bound for Nicholson, no. What is? But what is? It's probably Chinatown, right? He's got cuckus-ness in Chinatown back-to-back. It's somewhere in there. Yeah. Jesus Christ, what a combo.

Ironweed? You'll, I mean, you could make the argument. Broadcast News and Batman is when he's, like, the biggest star? Code Reds, I'm going to say yes. Marching bands performing, whatever that song was, yes. Guantanamo Bay, no. Kevin Pollock, yes. Yeah.

Sorkin no. J.T. Walsh? No, blue chips. Blue chips. We owe it to him. You-hoo? Yeah. Until tonight.

Bacon, no. Rob Reiner. Seinfeld just got picked up. Castle Rock is humming. I'm going to say yes. Did you read that Goldman was like on retainer at Castle Rock? Oh my God. Castle Rock was just thrown.

He just like kept in office and they're like, Bill, could you come in and just fix this for us on every project they worked on? Amazing. How about softball practice? Definitely cinematically. Yeah. I hope that there have been better softball practices, but. Wolfgang Bodison. Yeah.

Yes. Tom Cruise? I feel like we've already decided as Apex Mountain. I think it was Jerry McGuire. Yeah. Which you should have won the Oscar for. Best Racehorse Name. Oh, I have some more Apex Mountains.

What do you got? Lactic Acidosis. And it's definitely Apex Mountain for having only two books at your bedside, the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and the King James Bible. Best resource name. Code Red Jessup or Mark. Johnson's gone. The Rocco Colombo School for Women?

Let's do the Mallory Rubin Award for Did This Movie Need a Better Sex Scene? Or a sex scene. So, TriStar executives instructed Sorkin to make several changes to the story, including a sex scene with Caffeine Galloway. Sorkin was traumatized by it. And an unnamed executive gave him the note

if Tom Cruise and Demi Moore aren't going to sleep with each other, why is Demi Moore a woman? And he responded, I said the obvious answer, women have purposes other than to sleep with Tom Cruise, was super upset about it. Famous good women character writer Aaron Sorkin. But we got to figure out that this movie needed a better sex scene. So we're bringing a special guest.

We've made up, Megan Markle. Come on it. No. Mallor Rubin, come on out. Bill, you want me on that wall? You need me on. This podcast just went for PG-13. a rated R.

Mallory, this is the word is named after you. Did this movie need a better sex scene or a sex scene? Absolutely. What are we doing here? Like a lot of high-stress days? How is everybody relaxing?

Jack Daniels in softball. Kathy is just like me watching too much of the Orioles to have any sex at all. You know? It's tough. The only sexual thing in the movie at all is the Jessa blowjob story. So barring what would be certainly the winner. A deeply erotic tale.

Yeah, what's aged the worst, which is like a daydream sequence where we get to see that in full. I don't think we have too many candidates, but I think we have three possible options for a cafe sex scene. Okay. So. Four options for a cafe sex scene. The first is just like a rando, right? Sure. They're at his apartment all the time.

This is where they're working the case. Somebody leaving. Or like you find a bra, some sexy underwear. It leads to an awkward conversation, right? When Joe, Joe goes to put the bat in a closet, there's somebody hiding out in there, right? I think that the Joe Galloway, Daniel Caffey option is actually number two on the list of most enticing. but we should obviously talk about it because I think there's one clear spot in the movie

where it could have happened. Yeah, the date. It's after the sexiest thing that people can do together and that slice their hands open and douse their bloodstream with old base seasoning eating steamed crabs in the Mid-Atlantic, right?

You smell great after, you feel great after. It's the purest high you can get. Who doesn't want to go home and fuck after that? You're anybody north of Baltimore? I don't know. I'm a child of the Mid-Atlantic, so it seems logical to me. What's the third sex scene? Okay, I think this is actually the winning candidate,

and I'm excited to discuss this with you all. Kathy and Aunt Ginny. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Puppable tension. There's a vibe there that, frankly, does not exist between Kathy and Joe, right? It does not. Why is he so flummoxed and so flabbergasted when he meets her?

He loves farm girls. Yeah. Yeah, well, some role play, right? I'll be Uncle Goober. Yeah, Uncle Goober, exactly, out in the barn. Maybe, like, after they're out celebrating, I mean, I guess it's kind of a bummer note at the end, but, you know, they weren't charged with murder at the end of the day.

There's something to celebrate, right? What do you think? Do you ship it? So Gina Davis is Aunt Ginny. Like two scenes, she's calls it in. Like Chris Cass, how Chris Cash shows up. I think she was busy with a league of their own. at this time. Yeah, probably.

All right. Mallory's going to stay and do the rest of the pod with us. Because it's time to pick some nits. We already covered, did cafe and the team need this much softball practice? I've never heard of softball practice for adult men unless it's like an actual league. Can you imagine trying to explain to your significant other? Like, oh, this is just practice. It's like you have a game? Well, not technically.

Every game ends 8-7 when a guy blows out his Achilles, but we need to practice. Yeah. Picky Nitz. It took the dream team of Kaffee and Weinberg and Galloway six weeks to realize that Santiago wasn't packed for a six-am flight. No, he knows the first night.

He knows the first day, right? It's just, it's a jog his memory when he goes in his car. He doesn't realize that this is something he can latch onto during the trial as what's going on here? I think it's only when he realizes that he can use the phone records, that he uses those two things together

to make a point to Jessup. They have a whiteboard with every conceivable thing. Yeah. It's like, oh, the bat was near my clothes. Now I know. It was a little bit of like naming the ringer whiteboard. You know, you remember that? Oh, yeah.

A lot of good ideas. Dark one. No bad ideas in a brainstorm. Hey, another nitpick, just Sam Weinberg, just a mailing job by him? As a lawyer? He didn't really be in the case. Yeah. Couldn't prep his witnesses.

What good did Sam Weinberg do in this entire trial? He's late with O'Malley and Rodriguez. Yeah. I think the nitpick, though, it's actually kind of the other way, right? My nitpick there is with Joe and Kathy. Like, why don't they boot him from the case? They're begging him to stay. Danny's like, I need you for your excellent witness prep,

even though one of our star witnesses hasn't shared the most vital piece of information with us. And I need you for your research. But every third line out of his mouth is saying that he thinks these guys are monsters who belong in the seventh circle of hell. I might say, thanks for your work so far. got it from here. Nip picks. Why in the name of God

was Downey testifying? What the hell is going on there? They put Downey on the stand and before Dawson? Yeah. Downey who can barely communicate? I think they thought it would be like he would be sweet.

They would be like, oh, he's an innocent. Love to put a sweet innocent on the stand and then fuck everything up in our case. That's crazy. Then Jack Ross Tomahawk on him. Yeah, he's dunked on him. That's tough. And also, why did Dawson not testify to clean up Downey's mess?

I think that's just cut out of the movie. Because they do reference at some point that they might want to put Downey on the stand again before they go to Dawson. So he's clearly supposed to take the stand and we just don't see it. Damn, they robbed us of another Wolfgang Boddison scene. Why did Jack Ross wait a week to arrest Kendrick or maybe even more than a week? Because at the end, he's like, I got to go, I got to go arrest Kendrick. Kendrick wasn't arrested the moment Jessup admitted he ordered the code red? Yeah.

What was he doing? Like, just going to the movie and hanging out in bars? Reading the King James Bible, you know? I hate to be a party pooper, but apparently conduct unbecoming a United States Marine is not a crime in real life. That's, that maybe it should be. And he's like, yeah, well, I was feeling it. There's, I wanted to ask the panel about this. So Todd McCarthy reviewed this for variety, and he wrote,

Sorkin delivers the goods in potent fashion and manages the nifty trick of making the audience feel as though it has experienced something considerably more sobering and profound than it really is, which sort of gets to your point. Like, what did they really do there? But guys like Jessup just don't do what he did in real life. Like powerful men who've been in power for 30 years don't get into court rooms and say, like, you're goddamn right, I committed a crime. Yeah, right. But it's like, then you get into the whole, like, what if, like, they, like, they just ran out of the building and diehard? Like, then there wouldn't be a movie, you know, like.

Definitely. Yeah. But. Jessif would have, like, nine lawyers. They would be like, you don't have to answer that. Don't do that. Right. Yeah.

Like, Aaron Sorkin based a lot of this on real events, but at the end of that story, the colonel wasn't like, I'm guilty. Please don't ask me. There's also, like, Jack makes, like, 32 sustained objections, and Danny just, like, blows by them. He's like, no. What do you got now? For picking nits, okay, you guys have hit on a lot of the food-related stuff already, but I am curious, like, genuinely, you know, I think about nutrition and wellness a lot. How is this guy alive?

Day? Yeah. As far as I can tell, his entire diet is, I mean, he states, I only have you who and cocoa puffs at home, even I have more in my pantry and fridge than that. Okay, if you want to eat anything else, you have to bring it. He eats popcorn that has been sitting out on an open bar table. Okay?

He orders a beer. Doesn't care at all what kind it is. I think he wants Jack's beer. I'll take a beer. Drinks Jack Daniels and he touches every single donut on that office tray. Takes one, takes a single bite of it and then throws out the rest. Crazy. Wait, on that pick and Nick quickly?

Yeah. We didn't talk about how he orders a beer, and this is the all-time movie trope where they just bring a beer. Yeah. It never happens ever in real life for somebody's like, I have a beer. How would you feel if you said I'll have the usual? Oh, that was another one from recent we watchful.

A couple other food things. I guess technically you could say that oregano is a condiment, but I wouldn't, and I find it as an editor by trade, alarming? It's a seasoning or a garnish that trips me up every time. Sorkin will just straight up be like, this sounds better. Does it? I don't know. I think he's just like, I don't know. That would have been my pick for the P-break, so I don't have to hear him call oreganoa condiment. And then you guys already talked about the time that Tom Cruise spent on the steamed crab technique and how to crack it. I have genuinely, I mean this sincerely, this is not hyperbole, never seen

anything more offensive in a movie than the way Joe Galloway is. work in those crab legs. That is just not how you use a steam crab picking ice. How did you just say as my blood streams into old bay seasonings? Are you sure you know how to do crabs? Yeah, you eat them with your hands. You use the knife for like technique, not to actually shovel the crab morsels into the back of your throat.

I think she's so, she's so sexually frustrated. True. Just waiting for Kathy to notice. On the sports front, I think you guys have talked a lot about the softball. It's valid. It's deeply distrified. to watch him in the BP. Not enough talk so far about what Tom Cruise is allowed to do in this movie with a Nerf

basketball hoop. Yeah. How did this make the final cut? Like shoot eight shots at two seconds? Eight shots, but he's only makes four of them. He misses four from point-plank range. He's missing shots from like half a foot away. It's absolutely astonishing.

A few more picking hits, Rapid Fire. If somebody in this case Barnes told me that, if you were wearing a white uniform, people might shoot at you and try to kill you, I would take off my white hat. It's just a thought. I would not continue to drive around with the white hat on top of my brain.

It's fine. I guess they're often around other people who are in JAG or the Marines or the Navy, but it does seem like they're very routinely shouting deeply sensitive case information at each other in public places. Yeah. Yeah.

the bar, the basketball court hallways, softball fields, the bleachers where Joe stands with her back to the people taking batting practice, another deeply confounding thing in the movie that I don't understand at all. Ever heard of a code red? What a pity. Oh, man. This kind of goes to mind does anybody give a shit about this case. Like, we're all the guys on that softball team like,

Kathy, what the fuck are you working on? Sure we need some glove work, man. Come on. I need you to tell me to look the ball into my glove. Yeah. Do you guys think it takes our guy Danny too long to notice that Markinson is just sitting in the back seat of his car? He's not, like, leaning over. He's not hunched down.

He's just like a six-foot-something guy standing up in a trench coat. Cruz is the best at reacting to that, though. Like, he really fully commits to there's a guy in my back side. Yeah. Like, he would have been great in a horror movie. That seems like something that has happened to Tom Cruise. like he's never drank before but maybe a guy shows up in the backseat

of his car every once in a while. But maybe he's done it to someone so he knows what kind of reaction I got to say Mal, hearing you talk about crabs is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard about it. Thank you. That was grotesque. Sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. To me this isn't untouchable. I'd be mad if they're wrong. What is it?

It's fucking prequel, prestige TV, young Markinson and Jessup. Oh, what? Vietnam War coming up through the ranks and if that was a problem for you, I don't give a shit. And it's just like

their rise through the Marine Corps. What streamer? Fantastic. What streamer? Make a bid, man. What streamers are left? MGM Plus, let's go. Crackle?

Let's fucking dial it up. That's also wrong. It's all black cast but with a white Dawson and a white judge. Do you nominate yourself as the white judge? I do.

And you'll be telling Michael B. Jordan, like, tread carefully now. The colonels shall refer to me as your honor or judge. I believe I've earned it. Yeah. Just want to ask her who gets it. Nicholson? Yeah.

Sorkin? Not to Roger Eber. But then it's like, does Bill Goldman in the back? It's like, hey. Best part was me. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Treo, Catherine Hahn, Steve Buscemi, Sam Jackson.

J.T. Walsh, who's in the movie, or Philip Baker Hall. Probably Catherine Hahn, right? That's it, right? There's at least a couple people here who don't know our podcast who have no fucking idea what just happened. That'd be weird if they came to the show.

Every time you do that, I feel like Benny Safty and Oppenheim. Probably in answerable questions. Are we sure Marketson killed himself? I was a good question. I was on a conspiracy board the other day. They were saying they never found the body. Oh.

Parkinson's a ghost. Interesting. Did Markinson only kill himself because of Santiago's death? Or was there some other stuff going on? Like he had buried some other things? Yeah. Or was he just... How did he get a gun in the hotel room?

He's being guarded. He has all his uniform? Part of his dress suit. Maybe he did it because he thought Seinfeld was going to get canceled. I like that theory, though, that maybe he faked his death. Because he does repeatedly say, like, you're not seriously going to put. put me on the stand, are you? And also he does counterintelligence.

Yeah, exactly. What did you think of Markinson's dinner of Chinese food and Budweiser heavy? I think, you know, given again the region, it should have been a nanny bow. But on the Markinson front, why don't they submit his, not to be too grim, but like, why don't they submit his suicide note as evidence? It feels like it should have been part of the case. Yeah, a lot of questions about. Are we sure he killed himself?

That's great. And then Danny's like, no, no, I'm going to go with the code red. I think I think I got it. Wait, who got the letter? The family, Santiago's family. But do they actually? Oh, they don't know. Right.

They don't know. They actually like, does he mail it? No, Markinson must have like written the letter, we see the letter, and then presumably he sends the letter and kills himself. How did it? He like dropped it in a mailbox. This is the thing. In 1991, you could just go down to the quarter and put a letter in the mail.

But he couldn't leave the room. Railing Givens and the marshals were out front. to him and it was covered in blood and they couldn't mail it. And unfortunately, they never got to read it. What state was Kendrick from? Well, certainly down south. Yeah. We were saying Alabama or Mississippi. Alabama? Okay.

Yeah. Do you think Jonathan Kendrick was at the Capitol on January 6th? Keep out of bed. Does Kendrick have... I think he was in the break. I got SEC podcast, but it's on the war. room network. You think he's ever done a segment with Finebaum?

He calls a lot. Wait, if he's from Alabama in your head cannon here, is he Roll Tide or War Eagle? I think he's an Auburn fan. It's got major War Eagle energy. Better face, the Kathy, should I keep going,

a Jessup face, or the Jack Ross, oh my God, he just ordered, he just admitted the code reds. Is that a new category? No, just better blank face. Jack Ross, it's an amazing reaction. Tremendous. Yeah. They have the guy next to Jack Ross

who doesn't have any lines and I'm not sure why he's there, but he's in the two-shot. He's playing with his pencil the whole time. They two-shot him over and over again. This is for Chris. What position did Kathy play in softball? Shortstop.

I think he assigned himself shortstop. He's like, I'll pitch, I'll play short, I'll bat forth, no big deal. Yeah. I had the same instinct, and the rest of the team is pissed off about it. Yeah.

Fucking CAFE keeps putting himself at short stuff. It's either shorter center, but he's spending so much time on groundball defense that I think it's got to be in the wind field. But he doesn't have the cannon for the hot corner, right? No, he's no Gunner Henderson. Can you really make a flight log disappear? Can it just disappear? In the 90s, yeah. Okay.

Yeah. We have the FAA here with those. What other inansibles do you have? What other what? Unanswerables. Oh. Anything? I do want to know what Jessup's punishment would have been.

Like, would he have gone to prison? Yeah, would he have been stripped of rank and discharged? Like a dishonorable discharge? Yes. Do you think he had to go make porn? Is that what you're saying? Colonel Jessup, you have been sentenced to several porn films. Yeah.

Quite certain I've earned it. With a lady president, you know? MPs guard the colonel. I don't think it serves any time. I have 11. I think I'll cut down my list of unanswerable questions, but I have a bunch. Give us your best three. Okay.

Well, boy, best three. Do you think that Jessup has in fact ever ripped the eyes out of someone's head and pissed in their dead skull? That would be in my prestige TV prequel. It's so specific. What else? Good start. How many DUIs do you guys think Kathy ends up with? Yeah.

How many does you rack up? You're really thinking about this? I mean, yeah, we're in the multiples. I think you can blame. Early 90s, it was a little looser back then. Yeah. At least two. I have a lot about the case and the strategy.

Like, is it actually better to have people think two Marines killed another than to just blame the doctor? But the one I'll go with for case logic is, why don't Kathy, Joe, and Sam call the one witness who could have instantly sealed it to the stand? Tom, Jessup's clerk, the door guy who is there and hears every crucial conversation that he has. That's really good point. He's like, Tom, opens the door immediately. He's hearing every single thing that is transpiring in that room. He's always there when people are coming and going, including them when they're down in Gitmo. They see him.

They never think, let me bring to the witness stand, the guy who hears everything Jessup says. Could have gotten us one more Josh Molina scene too. Yeah. Bill, I would like you to adopt more tell the president we're relinquishing our position in Cuba type behavior. Like, just call Jeff. I would be like, Jeff, let's sell the company to Barstool. No, no, I believe we can wait on that one. I had, what happens if Jessup just never admits the code red?

What happens to everybody? I think Danny Caffy gets disheartened. Yeah. Yeah. So that might be better. What else even could happen? Maybe he doesn't get court-martialed. Kathy?

You think Jack's just like, it's okay? Ample warning. Yeah. Right. He goes three for four. with two doubles the next day? Yeah, if they need him for the semifinals on Thursday. Is the court martial outcome worse than the one that probably happened,

which is that Kendrick hired somebody to kill him without a doubt? Like without question, puts out a hit on Kathy. What's your best double feature choice for this movie? Mine is American president. Oh. A double sork in it. In honor of Dobbins. It's a happier ending.

That's a hashtag Dob mob pick. Yeah. Love it. Movie is super mid. What do you have, Sean? Oppenheimer? Do you want nerdy double features? Yeah.

Go super nerd on us. Paz of Glory. Stanley Kubrick's incredible courtroom drama. He didn't make it. You didn't have to applaud him. I'm proud to have written the source material that that that 1957 film is based on. And I think the Cain Mutiny is probably the best one.

That's probably the best military courtroom. movie that's ever made. Bin Laden episode in Newsroom. What do you have now? I think you would either, I would either do a Tom Cruise double feature, so I would do Top Gun and this movie, just two of my all-time faves, or if I was feeling

more inclined for a legal drama double feature, I would do this in presumed innocent, which we're all just waiting, though. Come on. The only movie that, like, features an actually explicit Harrison Ford's sex scene. Is that true? It's a very short list, yeah.

There's a lot of movies where people say they want to have sex with him, but very few where we get to see him pull his pants down and fucks him on over a desk. Force awakens. That's not how the force works. Witness? Oh, come on. No, he watches her take the sponge bath in Witness,

and they dance to say. Are you talking about Harrison Ford fucking now? Sure, anytime you want. Yeah. This is Sierra's getting uncomfortable. Sean's getting super uncomfortable. This is just like every Monday ringer meeting when Mal starts cooking about two hours in. What is your double feature?

American president. The Indian Red Zawande Award. We're almost done. What happened the next day? They want to be here. It's okay. Do caffeine and Joe, what happen? Let's walk through the next six weeks with them.

Do they run in? to each other like a little like victory dinner does she propose I feel like she proposes she shows up with steak knives

right keeps going with the steak knife good good steak knives and a steak and she's like let's cook this thing and he's like

I'm watching the O's like I'm drinking yoohoo yeah she shows up Kathy is making furious love to Sherby she's like oh

okay What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? This is so easy. Can I guess yours? Yeah. Jack Ross's Georgetown Supreme Court tank top. The Supreme Court tank top. I was looking at it on eBay yesterday.

I'm proud of all. Wait, game worn? Game worn. Yeah, Kevin Bacon's pure sweat. Soaked into it. Is it not Kathy's bad? It is Kathy's bat. The Tom Cruise varsity jacket is also pretty chill.

Would you get the car or is it too much of a beater? I like the bat. What's funny is since we started doing this category, all of a sudden these Hollywood auctions have started, and you can actually get all the things from all these movies. The Shawshank Bible went for, I think, $400,000. How much are the sheets from basic instinct? Game worn.

What if I just bought Jessup's dress uniform and just sat quietly in my house and did the speech? Shalone. Would that be weird? The Markets who would probably be weirder. The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson. I think it's you don't have to have a patch on your arm

to have honor. Okay. You love that moment. What do you have now? I mean Unicor, God, rewatchables, right? Okay. Yeah. Who won the movie? Tom Cruise. Go ahead and Zag.

And Ginny? And she'd be. Superby. It's got to be Tom Cruise. Unanimous? Bill? Yeah. Where you go?

Audience? I forgot to ask this and probably in answerable questions. Chris had a theory backstage that Tom Cruise is being carefully shielded when he gives interviews now. Can you go on this? I just,

I do wonder whether he has really horrendous CTE. And it just doesn't seem like he's talked in a movie for more than two sentences. If you go back through the last five years, since Edge of Tomorrow's the last movie where he is like a guy who's not just running, like he actually was supposed to be a PR person.

He talks in that movie. But ever since Macquarie Mission Impossible's and Top Gun, which I think really did him in, he's just like, movies! Every time. You were talking about his red carpet thing. He's like, Brick Tamlin. Watch the red carpet interviews from Dead Reckoning, where someone has to be. asked him a question and he like pulls his body way back and starts looking up at the sky,

like the sun is too bright or something. And he can't answer questions. The question is like, what are you going to see first, Oppenheimer or Barbie? And he's like, ah! You'll go to the movie theater and you'll go into a movie. You'll go from one theater to the other. And he doesn't answer the question. And it's the easiest question of all time.

So, CIR's theory is that Cruz has done too many. stunts. Yeah, I just don't think a man of his age is supposed to be in an F-16 at all. He's late 50s, early 60s now. His head got slammed against the seat, like, so many. I thought happy about it. But when you watch him in a few good men, he's, like, just dropping, like, five pages of dialogue, like, without blinking.

And then you see him in a big talk show guests. Yeah. See, come in, super charismatic. Yeah, you're right. He's, like, carefully shunned about you. And now he's, like, propped up to do an AMC, like, welcome to the movies thing, where he's like, thank you for seeing this on a big screen. and that's all he can handle.

If he did a few good men 30th anniversary interview, it would just be like, oh, trial! Oh, Nicholson! He's now older than Nicholson was when he made this movie. Oh, Jesus.

Which only makes Dead Reckoning more nuts when you think about it. Can you imagine Jack Nicholson riding a motorcycle off a clip? He'd probably be like, that's Friday night, man. I think, that's it. I think we've wrapped it up. A few more good men or a refue good men, whatever we decided

on this. It was really fun to do this. The last time we did a live podcast was at Sundance in 2020, about six weeks before the pandemic. And we did once upon a time in Hollywood. And a day later, Sean got super sick and was sick for eight days and was like, I've never been this sick before. We still don't know what happened. I think we have an idea, though. And then we did. And then we did contagion. Yeah. And then we... Yeah.

My apologies to America. But we... But we were like, man, that was fun. We were going to do more of these. And now it's, I don't know, three and a half years later. But we're going to be doing a lot more live pots for the big picture, the watch, the ringerverse. And this is really fun. Thanks to Elizabeth Berman for setting everything up for us.

And thanks to everybody for coming out. This was a true pleasure. Thank you. All right, that's it for the live. A Few Good Man episode. It was produced by Craig Horlebeck, as always. Thanks to the Ringer video team as well. Thanks to Elizabeth Fairman.

And we will see you for the 300th next week.