The Rewatchables - ‘Alive’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Craig Horlbeck

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

If we’re going to die, we’re going to die rewatching. The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Craig Horlbeck bundle up and head to the highest altitudes of the Andes Mountains to rewatch the harrowing and biographical survival drama film ‘Alive’ starring Ethan Hawke and Josh Hamilton. Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm Matt Bellany, founding partner of Puck News, and I'm covering the inside conversation about money and power in Hollywood. With my new show, The Town, I'm going to take you inside Hollywood with exclusive insight on what people in show business are actually talking about. Multiple times a week, I'll talk to some of the smartest people I know, journalists, insiders, all of whom can break down the hottest topics in entertainment to tell you what's really going on. Listen now. This episode is brought to you by Adobe Firefly. The all-in-one creative studio with AI-powered image and video generation. Build for today's creative process, Firefly helps you generate, edit, and experiment fast. Because the asks aren't getting smaller.

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There's no more fantasy. Now what are you doing, draft? Returned into the Ringer NFL Draft show, yeah. Bryce Young or Justin Fields. What do you do? I think you stick with Fields. I'd go, Bryce Young. Two more years.

Rookie contract. Chris Ryan, you podcasting still? What's going on? No, I've kind of stepped back from it. Who you have? You've scaled back? Yeah. It's too bad, man.

I missed a watch, right? That was what it was called way back. Yeah, you know, but we have some other TV pods you can rely on. Okay, good. Yeah. Ring her Philly special? That's right. Popping on there too?

Yeah. Okay. My name is Bill Simmons. We're about to, um, we're about to cannibalize each other and do the rewatchables. We're cannibalizing the feed. We're cannibalizing the feed, literally. Alive is next. Either we're safe or we're dead.

There is a place beyond fear, beyond pain, beyond the very limits of human endurance. A place where the human spirit. to save ourselves. Becomes the most powerful force on earth. Get up to a 10 steps! This is the true story of 16 of the most courageous people you'll ever meet and how they stayed alive. All right. So we're going to have a lot of fun on this podcast.

We should mention that this was a pretty brutal incident that happened 50 years ago that started the movie alive. Yeah. And yet it somehow became a rewatchable. It's over two hours. There's long stretches where you're wondering, why didn't this go faster? Why didn't they cut this scene? It's fucking riveting. And it's been on for 30 years.

And every time it's on, I'm kind of like, oh, where are we? Is Ethan Hawk decided to kind of take the conch? Is his sister dead yet? Yeah, yeah. Is he like ready to step up yet? And the plane crash is amazing. And it just has these pockets of awesome filmmaking. You felt the same way, Chris Ryan, which is why we're doing this pot.

There's two reasons why this is great. First of all, in 93, so I was like a kid, these guys were around my age when this, you know, when this came out. So like the characters all felt like people I could be or people I knew. But there's another reason why I think we're doing this. Is alive a secret sports movie? Oh, interesting. Because obviously you think that because it's this rugby team that's crashed in the Andes Mountains, this Uruguayan rugby team. This is a real story.

But it follows all the beats of a sports movie. You know, like it has these. So the hike is the big game? Rag tag group of individuals who have to pull together to overcome adversity and the championship game is the hike. But there's all these things in there that I'm just like, man, every time this is just like watching Remember the Titans or something, where you're just like, oh, yeah.

And then it's the darkest before the dawn. Losing Gary Burtier is what, deciding to eat their friend? But you know, am I wrong? The avalanche is when Gary Burtier's car crash. No, I think it follows a lot of the beats. And the big thing for me is it's a what would you do movie? Oh, yeah. So it's a sports movie crossed with a, all right, at some point you're watching this going, what would I do?

I'm super hungry. When do you start looking at the pilots? Should we explain why Craig's here, aside from his Sterling podcasting ability? Craig did a great job on Mission Impossible Fallout, so we put him on another 10-day contract for another hosting. I'm on a two-way deal. Also, Craig had the hottest take in the history of the hottest takes podcast, which I hope you guys have listened to about altruistic cannibalism. Right, which is what this movie is showcasing.

Yes. Sure. This is altruistic cannibalism, right? I know there was a lot of, I know in the real story in the 70s, when these guys came back, there was a huge outcry against them because of the cannibalism thing. Like the church renounced them. The media was very negative towards them. But then once they described, as I did on the hottest take, no, listen, we did this

because it was necessary for the greater good of the people. Yeah. Everybody kind of came around to it. Yeah, 29 people died in the point. Lane crash. 16 survive. And it would have been more if the fucking avalanche,

that's like the one of the things that kills on the shoe is like, really we had to throw the avalanche on top of these guys? Yeah. But that's like the sports movie moment where you think it's going well

and then it's like in Hoosiers, that's when shooter kind of falls off the wagon. It's Barringer hurting his knees. Yeah. Like in Major League. It's, yeah. So it's based on this book alive, the stories of the end is survivors.

Uruguayan rugby team crash in October 13th, 1972. The kind of movie they don't really make anymore now I feel like it's a documentary. Well, they made, Ron Howard just made the TIE, the kids getting stuck in the Thai cave.

Oh yeah. I didn't want to watch it. 13 Lives. Are you saying they don't make it because they don't want to remake a harrowing true story or just this style of story, like the cannibalism.

I think that the true harrowing true story feels like it's kind of fading away. Maybe it's, It's giving way to, like, the superhero movies. There's another reason for that, though, is because if this had happened today, like, the 24-hour news coverage of this situation and the social media coverage of the situation would make it so that you felt like you were experiencing the movie in real time. But for us in 1993, I hadn't even heard of this story, obviously, but, like, you could do Apollo 13 or whatever and be like, yeah, see, like, this is what it was like that day, you know? And it was like, there's only the TV coverage. There wasn't this sort of saturation.

So it's just one more thing that Twitter and social media has ruined is we can't make true stories. Well, so I watched that Hatchet, Hitchhiker documentary last night, which I thought was pretty good on Netflix. And that story was 2013. I didn't know about it. And I was most surprised that I didn't know. We were pretty busy in 2013. But it was a rare case of like, this story's crazy. I can't believe I didn't know about it, which is basically what this plane crash is.

But I think Chris is right. For the most part, we know these stories in real time. the characters emerge. Elon was tweeting at the submarine captain from the Thai rescue. It was just like I was aware of what was happening. When this movie came out, had you known about this Uruguayan plane crash

prior? I had no idea. I was mostly, I think this was like weirdly like a movie because it didn't do great at the box office. Right. But it was like it's so right in between like it's not a horror movie. It's not really an adventure movie

because they don't really move until the last 30 minutes of the movie. It's like kind of all over the place. And so I didn't know about the real story and I think that a lot of people kind of miss this just because if you're like, yeah, it's alive and it's like, how are they alive? They ate people. It was a little bit of a thing when it came

out. And I remember because I bought all those premier magazines because I was glad I did because they didn't really talk about it in the January issue when this came out because this came out 30 years ago. But in March they used to do this shot by shot thing. And the shot by shot thing of the plane crash. So I

I think it was kind of a respected movie. I think it did, what did it make? It doubled its budget. Yeah, it made 82.5. I do feel like it was kind of a thing. But for me, I was excited because I liked Ethan Hawk. And all I knew from Ethan Hawk really at that point was Dead Poets Society. I had season tickets on all those guys.

And then, you know, he was in White Fang, which I thought was good. Yeah, he didn't make explorers. Like, he was like a thing. And they tried to promote this, at least at the time, a little like with the school. ties, Dead Poets Society thing where it's like we had these really good young actors. What's funny is really none of them made it. Josh Hamilton, he's our kicking and screaming guy. I mean, I still have Josh Hamilton's still my guy.

I still have the stock. There was a Vincent Spado Sons. Oh my God, yeah. He was in that John Sales movie, City of Hope. Like he was like really, he was a thing. So in 93 he was in Alive. He was also an Indian summer, which is a truly terrible movie. that's kind of fun to watch.

That's the big chill kind of one, right? It's a big chill rip-off where it's like these eight people get back together at summer camp. It's kind of a fun watch, but it's awful. I would be interested if you and Liz watched it, Craig, if Liz actually might like it, because my wife likes it, but it's bad. All right. But it's like, oh, we love, and these two used to date,

but she's in love with this other. It's like one of those movies. And then he did the Ascent, and he did the tie that binds in 95. And then the Spanosz was done. Yeah. he kind of gets blown off the screen by Hawk in this movie. It's a tough one for him because he's supposed to be the captain. It's like baked into the story, right?

Yeah, I guess. It's like, Ethan Hawks in a coma for the first half of the movie. And then when he wakes up, he's just like, I'm fucking running shit now. Like, here's what we're going to do. Which kind of ties back to your sports movie. Yeah. Phenomenomeno? It's like the captain, everybody thinks is the captain.

And then like the real underdog who comes in and actually takes a hold of the game. Yeah. Yeah. The other ones, really nobody else made it. Bruce Ramsby. There's a lot of that. Nucci. He had a lot of cups of coffee.

Michael D. Lorenzo's on New York undercover. Yeah. Yeah. But for the most part, didn't really make it. So, Craig, you didn't really know about this movie, right? No. So I watched with my daughter and my wife. My wife knew what happened.

My daughter did it. My daughter's kind of a cyborg. We call her the cyborg. Like, no movie makes her cry. She's not phased by anything. And we're watching the plane crashes. She's kind of watching, and she's kind of on TikTok. And at some point, I think it would have a...

Ethan Hawks like, well, maybe I'll eat the pilots first or whatever. And I was kind of like, oh, what's my daughter? Wait, what? My daughter, still no reaction. And then when they had the conversation about whether they should, that was when the head kind of popped up. And it was like, wait a second. What are we doing?

I thought like she plays soccer. She travels with her team. Like this would be like a real like. Did she watch yellow jackets? Same thing. Yeah. She did watch. She like yellow jackets.

But you knew the cannibalism was coming. That was one of the reasons. So you didn't tell Zoe at all that there was cannibalism. tell her at all. She had no idea. And she wasn't phased, which made me think like, is the cannibalism overrated? No one can be phased at that. When you're that, we've seen too much on the internet now.

True. You can swipe through TikTok for 10 minutes and see like cannibalism to like somebody marrying their dog. Like you could just see everything. Yeah, I almost wanted to see if she was going to search for five tips for eating your friends. There's a big difference between cannibalism for survival and ritualistic cannibalism that's in horror movies.

I'm actually not a big watching people get like their thigh meat eating in a horror movie guy. It's like one of the only things that nauseates me a little bit for some reason. But in this, it looks like they're just eating like jerky. Yeah, jerky. Human jerky. I mean, honestly, I don't know if this is a hot take, but the cannibalism in this movie

pretty tasteful. It's tasteful. It's relatively tame. I mean, in real life, they ate the lungs, the hearts, and the brains as well as just the, like, the thigh meat of these people and they didn't show any of that. Yeah, I didn't know that from the research. I didn't know, like, kind of how deep the cannibalism went.

In real life. In the movies, it just seems like they're pulling pieces of turkey off somebody's butt. Yeah, but you do have to start to ask the question of like, how long would that sustain you and how much thigh meat is there? Right. I mean, we're getting in pretty gross territory, I guess. Listen, this is why we're doing the pot. But it's like, unless you, I knew that too. But in the movie, for some reason, I'm just like, they're just eating like turkey jerky the whole time.

Yeah. And it fuels them on their trip up the mountains. Well, and in the research also, the avalanche, they almost got lucky because of the avalanche because they were running out of people to eat. And the avalanche killed like eight more people. Right. They would have had to just, it would have been like the law of survival. It would have become Lord of the Flies and they would have had to start killing each other off.

Well, they have that line where he's like, this is when we become animals or whatever he says near the end, which I thought was a good point. I think, look, this is going to be, I'm sure this is one of the more controversial we watchable picks we've had. But I don't know of another movie quite like this movie that spurs more conversations when you're watching it after. Both, like, I think it's amazing that those guys made it off the mountain. Like, it's probably like the most amazing. I can't believe you survived this story. But then the what would you do factor of it is the most fun part of this movie.

Yeah, it's interesting to see, too, also, like, because this Uruguayan rugby, like, I think they come from a religious school. Yes. It's a Catholic school. And there's a scene where, like, because they're a Korean rugby. like one of the guys is just like holding his crucifix, you know, through his sweater and it's just like, I can't do this. Yeah.

Having not been raised Catholic and not thought much about this as a sin, for me, it's like a pretty like it would be like the second night. I'd be like, what's, like, why? Is that pilot dead yet? And Anato, your sister just died. No, I mean,

I think it would just be like, as soon as the reality set in that they weren't coming to get us, and there's some great stuff with this, like, what would you do if you thought you were being rescued? Yeah. Where you eat all the chocolate and you drink all the wine and stuff. But yeah, like, it's funny to look back on it and just be like, I think it would probably be pretty quick to be like, yeah, I guess we have to do this.

Well, I also think that now, especially nowadays, like, we've seen so many other crazy feats of human beings and what people go through to survive, that I think if this were to happen again now, everybody would, I think, would be a lot more practical about the situation and would understand. Well, also, like, six weeks from Joe Rogan recommending this as a diet. It practically is. A carnivore diet is very popular. I wish I could have recorded, though,

what would you eat a conversation we had with my wife? Oh, really? During the movie. She had a lot of thoughts. Like what part of the body? Well, we all decided if the four of us crashed and we had to eat, like we would want Ben because Ben has the most fat muscle. Okay.

And she was like, we could feast on Ben's butt cheeks for at least two days. Was Ben there for this? No, he was upstairs. Did you let him know what you guys had decided as a family? I think he's got the most like meat and muscle. Yeah. But wouldn't Ben also be the number one draft? Yeah, they'd be eating me and it would suck.

I have no ass. Yeah. You'd be done with my ass in five seconds. Your contacts would freeze. Yeah, I'd be dead first. But Carrie said, my wife said, I'd go for the earlobes first. They're like beef cheeks. That was the actual quote.

This is why this is a great movie. What other world would you say anything like that in real life other than when you watch it live? It's so much easier to talk about it in an arms distance. It's so easy to imagine yourself, but when you're actually there, I have no idea how I would actually feel. But it is a good point. Like earlobes would be good, right? The hang, they chop them up? I thought that seems like it's all cartil.

You want to go all protein, I think, right? But you don't get anything good out of the earlobes? I don't think so. Well, there's also a problem with, like, seasoning and cooking and stuff like that. They basically ate it all raw, frozen raw, and then they start kind of sunbaking it. They dry it on like the metal sheets. But I didn't understand. So they had lighters, right?

Because they're smoking cigarettes the entire time. Somehow they had seven cartons of cigarettes. The cigarette thing is almost as important to me as the cannibal. Why did they not try to cook any of the meat if they had fire? I know. Maybe they didn't want the smell of burning flesh was probably like a turnoff. But you're not burning this. I mean, again, we don't.

I don't know how far this podcast is going to go. We're going to take it the whole way. The scene where they're about to go off on their final trip, right? And that's when you finally get to see like real chunks of meat, like sirloin steaks that they're putting into the bag. Yes. That, if you cooked over a flame, I think would be pretty similar to a cow meat, to beef, right? I don't know.

But like, I don't understand why they- Hannibal lexon. Rogan? I don't know why they all just opted. There was no conversation about eating it raw, which I thought needed to be there. Well, so there's like a, there's an element to this movie, because it's Touchstone, right? It's a touchstone. Well, and they made a whole point of we were being respectful and discreet with how we did stuff.

And I almost kind of wanted the other version of the movie. Apparently they all love the organs. They almost, because this is Kathleen Kennedy and Frank Marshall. They almost advertised the movie as like a, like a cannibalism movie and like leaned into it as like a like almost like a wink wink. But I don't think they did. No, it was like a survival, like a team survival adventure. It was like, it was like not unlike white. Fang or not on like...

That's fine. But let me tell you something. I was there in 1993 and it was like, let's go to the movie where they crashed and they tried to... Was cannibalism teased in the trailer

and the promotion of this movie at all? Yeah, I think it was just like these kids had to make a crazy decision on the mountain. Yeah. The thing is, the cannibalism part of this movie is basically like seeing the shark from Jaws

for the first time. You know it's coming. Yeah. It's like, it's going to happen. They're going to have the conversation. This movie's too long. two hours seven minutes probably should be

you guys think it's too long I just think it's a little slow for being 207 in the middle it's too slow it's like we get it they're cold they're running they're hungry there's a lot of them

standing like huddled up outside of the plane just kind of looking around I think the best parts of the movie are when they're all congregating and trying to like discuss what they should do yeah the religion conversations

you know does your soul leave your body I think that stuff is like easily the most compelling part of the movie yeah I totally agree and I also think they kind of missed on some of the actors. I think if this was like a schooltize

Dead Poets Society kind of cast even like characters like Roberto and Tintin if you had like there's a good casting whatever for one of them but like there was so many good actors. If you get like Cole Houser and Matt Damon like if Houser's on there or Affleck or like what if Leo DiCaprio was on there?

Like they just kind of missed on two of the actors and I think if we had more because the best part of this movie is Ethan Hawke in the second half of the movie. It's like what you could refer, like, school ties is very much this, like, a starting line movie where it's like, all the actors are pretty much like emerging and at the same point in their careers.

And, like, if he would give him me odds, you know, you know, like, there's a chance, Michael D. Lorenzo, I mean, he didn't wind up being on New York undercover for a long time, but like, like, there's, the guy who plays Carlitos, I could have been huge, you know what I mean? Like, there's people in here that, you know,

you would have bet on, but yeah. It's amazing, Damon wasn't in this movie. Who would have loved? like starving on a mountain more than Matt Daniel. Oh, I know. He does that encourage him to fire. Multiple times. But yeah, I just wish there was one more person other than he thought.

Ethan Hawk. So he this is where his run of a live reality bites and before sunrise and then he becomes a, I don't want to say an A-lister, but maybe like an A-minus lister, Chris? Well, he's an indie darling. Yeah. But he's not quite

a movie star. Like I don't think that the movie star or movie star stuff really happens for him until Tray Day. Well, and Gattaca, I think, is the first time he's headlining

like a giant movie. Yeah, well, or maybe I should put it in other way is like he's a young, a young actor up until training day, and then that's where

it feels like he becomes like an adult man actor. Yeah, and he's, he's awesome in this movie. He's really, really good and I think has a lot of the best moments. I think Ethan Hawke could

sneaky wind up at the end of the day having eight, eight, rewatchables? We haven't even done any of the before movies. No.

$32 million budget made $82.5 million. Ebert, two and a half stars. Didn't like it. It wasn't really well reviewed. There are some stories you simply can't tell. The stories of the Andest survivors may be one of them. Bill's like, challenge accepted. Yeah, I think it was missing some of those stuff.

Raj kind of likes in movies. Yeah, I think. There wasn't enough, like, social dynamic, I think. I think they could have, like, explored. See, this is where he and I disagree. is like, I do think that they did a really good job showing the, like, the way that the social hierarchy of the, of the guys, like, really emerged. Like, I always, always think about, as much as you're like, oh, like,

when would you start eating people? It's like, would you be the guy who was smoking cigarettes and getting a tan all day? Would you be the guy who was trying to, like, figure out a way to work the radio? Would you be, like, the medical assistant? Like, what would your role be? Would you be the guy who's just cold and complaining? Yeah. I just feel like it never culminated.

I agree with you. Well, the avalanche culminates. The foundation was set, but I do feel like I wanted to see more of them actually coming to terms of who makes the decisions and why. I didn't feel like there was ever, other than that one the captain scene, it wasn't great.

With Antonio, I don't think there was a lot of real social dynamics in the movie. You know what the problem is? It was such a real life story that they couldn't really fuck with. I think if you're making this as a fictional thing, the Lord of the Flies thing is a way bigger piece of this.

Like, whose team is this? Well, look at how every fictional treatment of this kind of thing has happened. Yeah, it is always two people facing off, everybody picking sides, somebody killing somebody. They couldn't do any of that stuff. We'll take a break. We'll do most rewatchable scenes. This episode is brought to you by Viori.

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Call 1-800-545-99-9 or visit zepbounds.lily.com. All right, most rewatchable scenes. The plane crash is unbelievable. It's amazing. Mother of God No Oh shit

Are we supposed to fly that close to the mountains? Am I very full of grace Lord is pretty blessed that all among women What are the best plane crashes for you in a movie? I have that discussion So you think it's number one? Well I think so it's I think Fearless

The Jeff Bridges movie is really good Castaway is obviously great The Grey has an awesome one Oh Remember that? Oh, with Liam Neeson? We saw that in the theater. Yeah.

Yeah, that was a good one. That's a great plane crash. Flight, even though they didn't crash a plane. That's the pilot mostly, but it's pretty fucking incredible. How about the Sully movie? The whole thing was him landing. I guess it's not a plane crash.

Yeah, but you know he's going to fucking land it. So it's just kind of like, I don't know. The turbulence in this jarred me, to be honest. I think it was probably more scary to me than actually having to eat human meat on a mountain. I'm not like the easiest flyer. I don't love flying. And the turbulence in this movie,

really rocks you. They spent nine days filming it and those guys all had to take motion sickness stuff to survive. But yeah, I think for me, I still feel like the castaway plane crash is the best one.

It's just so, every piece of that is just so well done. When him holding onto the thing, one of the pilots telling him, you know, you're going to be safe and then all of something that thing hits his head and he's bleeding. And it's just like,

it's the worst version of how that would go. Having said that, the back of the plane opening up and the people and the seats going backwards is fucking harrowing. I also love cutting back and forth. I love cutting back and forth between the passengers and the pilots. And you can just see both happening at the same time. It's also the

worst and this is kind of grizzly is just like what it would look like when you crash with the seats coming on flying forward and the guy who does like the head first leap into the wall and the woman getting her legs broken. It's like, oh my God. Like it's bad enough to think about crashing, but It's really bad to think about what would you be like if you crashed.

What's a life lesson from this movie? Don't sit in the seat in front of the wall. No, that guy didn't have his seatbelt on, so he goes flying forward. But all the seats compacted like a pancake at the end. So you think you want to be in the middle. I guess you don't want to ever be in the back of the plane. The back of the plane always loses in movies, right? You want to be middle to front.

The back always breaks off. Right, you're right. It's an amazing, amazing plane crash. And for 1993, like even more impressive. And when it starts, like the plane looks really fake. Yeah. Flying and you're like, all right. And then it's like, oh my God, this still rocks.

Like flight fearless and this, I think, are my three favorites. Should we be this low to the mountains? One of the things I learned in the Premiere magazine piece was they used stuntmen for the back. So when they got ejected from the back, that was like a real thing that happened. And they were on cables and they really wanted to make it. Like those guys got shot out into the sky. so amazing stuff more scenes that stood out

I would hesitate to call these rewatchable figuring out how to treat the injured passengers is always the triage scene yeah that's always those are always good in war movies or any sort of accident things where they're just you're making things

in the fly and it's like that guy's got a bone sticking out of it like the back of his shoulders yeah like well no say we'll get to him in a second I like when he pulls like the metal thing out of that guy's stomach Yeah, them going to this one kid who has six months of medical school experiencing treating him. And they're like, you're now an ER doctor.

Yeah. The, they think they've been rescued, but not really, is always a good gimmick in a movie. The false celebration. Yeah. It's like having the 7-3 lead in the sports movie. It's just an immediate, that scene where Antonio finds out the food is gone. And he's just like, it could be a land rescue. It could take weeks.

I will say, I did like Antonio's style of always staying positive. Yeah. They didn't see us, but that means that could be a land rescue. Like, oh, he dipped his wing. Like, good news. They're coming back. Yeah.

I actually think that is a great way to keep people, you know, at bay. I'll remember that if we ever crash in the mountains. Keep it positive. When Spotify's flooding from the next rainstorm tomorrow. Though we've got to eat scene is just epic. If we do this, we'll never be the same. If I had a wound that was rotten and it needed to be washed out,

wouldn't you do it even though it's disgusting? Yeah. I would. But I wouldn't eat you. Shut up. Sorry. Do you believe that we have a soul, and when we die, our soul leaves our body? I don't know.

I'm not a priest. Okay, all right. Look, I don't want to talk about this. Neither do I, Gestava, but what we have to, we're starving and we're trapped. Now, if the soul, if there is a soul, leaves the body when we die, then the body is just a carcass. This is the beginning of the end. What's out there in the snow is just me, Antonio.

I was just ripping off jokes during this scene. I'm not a... great person. But I was trying to make my wife laugh or this. And Zoe's just like blank facing it.

She's just like, huh, okay. Yeah, she's like barely intrigued. But I was, I was making jokes like when the guy ate the butt first,

please don't make me the butt of your jokes. Like, I was just like going all in on the corneous jokes, but they were lined up like it was a buffet. I had some questions about,

so is cannibal, is cannibal incest? Like, can you eat? Like, if it's like your sister, like she's off limits, right? The sister's off limits. And his mother, they don't eat the sister or the mother. And that's true, apparently. That's the rule, right?

They never ate her. Oh, they never ate them ever. No, no. It's the rule? Really? Like, among cannibals? No, he's saying, like, medically. If you were related to the person, would you want to eat them?

Oh, I thought you were saying from a health standpoint, can you ingest your own? No. Oh, I don't know. I don't think that that's the problem, right? No, just mentally would you want to do it? No, I wouldn't. I think the best. Either eat the pilot than like your sister.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's how I feel too. I was going to ask. Do you think they, that's definitely what I was going to say. Do you think there was ever like a creation of a rankings of which people they wanted to eat first? Like did they ever kind of.

And what were the characteristics? Like was there a draft? Like were they like, okay. That's right. We're going to eat Andrew first, right? What is the big board say? Yeah. Was there a scouting report?

Who was the Bryce Young? I can't think of a podcast. It's like the podcast. It's like a few suited for Ben Solac. But I would love to hear like a three-minute Ben's. so like monologue. I'd be like, baby, when you get these guys and you got a little bit of chubbiness on the thighs, that's what you want, okay?

Now we're cooking with gas. Or would you want somebody who was, like, healthier? Yeah. Like, you don't want the smokers first. They're all smokers. It's 1972. Yeah, they're all smoking. It would be kind of great to, like, be like, you got to eat Paul Newman from the verdict.

It's just like, this guy is fucking 300% bushmills. I just wanted to see Knessa, like, how did he decide to eat who he ate? first, you know? Well, and then the best part is that, it's like, Kness is like, I'll go first. How amazing would have been if he had done that, eaten the piece turned around, and then everybody was like, actually we're good, man.

It's like, never mind. Or like, what if like, like, right then the helicopters came? As he's cutting in. They take a photo of him. The first thing that they see is like the mountain rescue guys are like, we're here. They're like, oh,

I swear this was necessary. Wow The avalanche scene's really good Love it when something A disaster on top of a disaster The double disaster Well filmed too I mean that looks really real

The guy that way Like what's that noise That sounds like a train When they go to the first hike When they bring dumbass Roy with them The radio guy Who is basically We have to say it

Is the Cokehead from Superbad? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's at the party. He's singing in the back room with Michael Sarah. Did he make that connection? It's kind of the same guy. Like, I feel like he became the guy for Super Bowl. That's great.

It is really like what would have happened. I just do Coke in the valley. And that scene when the two are ahead and then it's like a snowstorm, then you see Hawk carrying, dumb ass, where I gave that the great check order award as well. But that was really good. In real life, I'm not sure Ethan Hawk could carry like a 10-year-old boy.

Yeah. I mean, he's not a giant guy. I think all of these guys weighed like 110 pounds. Yeah. Yeah. My personal take is like, Roy, I'll see you later. Good luck. You couldn't fix the radio.

I hope you think it. Yeah. What was good about the last two days with you all? Let's see. Let's see how much you want to live, buddy. Nando and Kness on top of the mountain. All right. We'll get Tintin.

We're going to send him back down to the plane. We'll take his extra food. You see, you see where the sun's going to set? That way's west. Into the west of the green valleys of Chile. We're going to die, you know. But if we die, we're going to die walking. When he calls him up.

And he's like, over there. And it seems like they're going to be rescued. He's like, you know what it is? It's impossible. He has that whole Ethan Hawks speech. Yeah. Really good stuff. We're going to die walking.

The rescue. scene was really good too. Yeah. The helicopter. I know it didn't happen in real life this way, but... Beautiful music.

With the guy, like, right, with the door open the helicopter, doing the fist pump, like, in real life, you're probably not supposed to sit on,

you know, in the, in the Andes with the wind floating around with, like, hanging outside of the... Yeah, that's, Ethan Hawk level stuff.

Ethan Hunt, sorry. That's Mission Impossible. Right. Ethan Hunt stuff. So, this is kind of weird. Like I said this to Craig

before we started recording, but for me, it's the first Malcovitch scene. to be affronted by solitude without decadence or a single material thing to prostitute it elevates you to a spiritual plane where I felt the presence of God now there's the God they taught me about at school and there is the God that's hidden by what surrounds us in this civilization that's the God I met on the mountain Oh, interesting.

Because when I... Just the cigarette smoke? I remember seeing it because he's smoking. No, it gives the movie like a different vibe, though. It's like a really different tone setter to think about, like, it's essentially these these ideas that come out of it about like finding a different kind of God or a different kind of religion out there in this incredibly almost biblical situation. And also the writing is just beautiful.

So like the script was written by John Patrick Chandley who's like this accomplished playwright. And I just think it's like such a cool curve. ball. Like to have, and Malcovich was a big fucking deal. He was. In 1991. He's headlining a Quinn Eastwood.

He's in the line of fire. Yeah. And he's just like, it's just like, oh, is Malcovich in this movie? Like, I mean, you have to put yourself in the mindset of like, this movie starts, you don't, John Malcovich is not listed in the credits. It's not like advertised. I had that in what stage is the best, but you're right. It sets the table as like this moral dilemma.

Yeah. Immediately. Yeah. And it leads right into the plane scene really well. Which is, I mean, when is moral dilemma not worked for a movie? It's like the It's like the Number one thing you can pull off

For the movie is to have some sort of like legitimate What would you do more of the Loma? What do you have for most of you watch? Bustina, I think I had the plane crash. Me too. Yeah. Okay. Because they set it up really well

Like that all that stuff that's happening And there would be such rowdy shits before it And just the little bits of like Hey, switching me so like Josh Lucas is like Let me sit by the window You know? Like if he had sat by the window, you would have died It's like all that stuff is great.

What stage is the best? the score and the music is really good. I think it's really the kind of, one of the things that makes the movie go. The main theme is gorgeous, yeah. Chris, this is a great cigarette movie. This is a classic A-list. This makes me want to have a cigarette

after I watch it movie. This may be an ignorant question. So why did a bunch of 19-year-olds have like thousands of cigarettes on this plane? This is the question. It's just like everything is running out except for cigarettes. So I just,

guess that for whatever reason, so they were coming across the Andes, wherever they were, they were like, cigarettes are cheaper here. So we bought a bunch. But it does not make any sense why everything else runs out except for cigarettes. And those guys just have darts every day. For 70 days. Yeah, for 70 days. So I had this and in answerable questions. Let's do this. Yeah. It's 45 people total and would have to die right away. So it's about 20, 20 something left. Seems like they're smoking three packs a day, two packs a day?

I would say that they're probably on average a pack a day. I guess it seems like Nando doesn't smoke. Let's give them a pack a day for fun. So 20 cigarettes a day. So it's 20 packs a day. That's a carton. Right. For 70 days.

So that's 70 cartons of cigarettes. 1,400 cigarettes. Yeah. And they're also using cigarettes as like cupcake candles and Like they just seem like they're just like That guy Bobby Francoisle Like goes through fucking three packs a day

Just by himself sitting on the seat And getting tan Were they cigarette smugglers? That's why I'm wondering Whether or not there was like a duty-free situation Hmm Have you ever had a cigarette birthday cupcake Chris Ryan?

No but let's look for November and do that So much fun What cigarette would you go with? Like what kind? Yeah Well for my birthday Maybe I would do something special Like a Marlboro Red

Or like a Dunhill or something? Oh, Dundhill. You go, nice. The cigarettes, probably the highest ratio of characters smoking in a movie that's for the rest 30 years. But here's another answer. Would you really want to keep smoking at that altitude?

I was going to ask. Yeah. Because your lung capacity is so diminished anyway. Maybe it makes you, like, more buzzed. Well, doesn't it repress your hunger? Yes. Very much so. That's why you're just sucking those things down.

That's why Jennifer Aniston's coffee and cigarettes for 35 years. It's also probably the only thing That makes you feel good. I'll tell you something straight up. If you would, if this had happened to me back when I was at 10 a day and we'd run out of cigarettes, you would have thrown me off the mountain. That's how annoying I would have been. Yeah.

Detoxing from cigarettes, like that would have been like. It's worse than detoxing from food. It's terrible. Yeah. I felt like the cigarette stealing. You would have been like, we have to kill Chris. We're going to eat Chris. We're just being a fucking assail.

Cigarettes should have been a bigger part of this movie. Oh, yeah. Where's the last curtain? She said that one guy in the mountain like, what? What do you mean? They, more what stage is the best. They filmed the movie in sequence, so the cast would look skinnier and worse for where as it went along

and the fish are coming in, which I thought, I was like when movies do that. I like any movie where one character says to another character in all seriousness, hey guys, it's okay if you eat me. I know I'm in the right place with the movie. How many movies are there? I don't know, maybe less than five.

If you're going to eat me, make sure you clean your plate. The decision not to do accents was really important. every time they make a movie like this it's like these guys are from Uruguay Uruguay Uruguay Uruguay Uruguay So let's have them talk like this

And it's like no actually let's not Let's just Because they'd be talking in their native language Which is a language we wouldn't have in the movies So just have them fucking talking American It's like the British thing Where they're just like these guys are like When they make World War II movies

And like all the Nazis are British guys And they're just like let's just have In Valkyrie Like let's just do them British accents. Yeah. Yeah, why do they do that? Why do they switch it? Why do they think Germans should have British accents? Because it's like dozens of movies where they've done that. Yeah. I mean, I think that they were just like, we want to cast British actors. And also like there's a thing that happens to where I wish it's like Hunter October, which we still haven't done is a really good

example of this where like at a certain point there's like a trick that they do to switch over so that it's like now everybody's speaking English. Now there are a bunch of like Russian. Now there are a bunch of Russian accents going on in there, but essentially right around then, Sean Connry abandons being Lithuanian and is just like, oh, like, on ping only. That's why we haven't done the movie yet. It's so egregious when he just drops the accent, I just

can't get over it. Morwood's age the best. I like when the guy announces Alberto is dead when he does that. Have your attention. Alberto, Bloto is dead. The guy who almost falls into the sinkhole that's really like the end of the mountain. Shot Cordo. That's like a pretty

real cave. Yeah. Then Michael Rooker saved him. Oh, wait, I'm getting my movie's confused. I just wrote down, I love Plain Crash, Lord of the Flies, hierarchy shit. Yeah. I have the depiction of the social order that emerges like leaders, healers, lazy people. It's like Antonio? Are we sure

he was a good leader? Like... Yeah, this type of disaster movie plays. Yeah, just every time. Nando's saving Kinesso from falling off the mountain. Just like, yeah, you know that scene's coming. It's like, oh, these guys do a lot of hiking. Who's going to be the...

Danny Nucci was in Alive, Crimson Tide, the Rock, Eraser, and Titanic in the span of five years. Eraser. Just ripping it off. Racer made a lot of money. He was kind of like almost, like if he had just gotten the Bronx Tale part instead of that other guy, maybe it happens for him, but it never really happened. And then he just kind of became one of those guys. It never really happened for the Bronxdale guy, right?

Well, he had issues. Oh, okay. Antonio, his whole speech of, Am I still the leader of this team? Yeah. Am I the leader of this group? I don't know, are you? I'm the captain of the team.

Is there still a team or a bunch of cutthroats now have to do each other in? Spano dialing it up. Do you feel like you're at the top of our work chart? I am. Literally. Do you think that how much ringer,

like, man? hierarchy would transfer over to the mountain. Great question. Do you think it would be like you and Jeff would be like Antonio and Roy? And like me and Sean would be like Knessa and Nando? Well, first of all, fantasy would be the first one stealing food. He'd be the first one who's like, I'm getting off this mountain. We have no team anymore.

This is every man for himself. There's a Chilean film screening. Lambly. He's like, we got to get off this road. It's only 40 miles west. Paul Thomas Anderson just released a movie. We're getting off this fucking mountain. Yeah, I think all that stuff goes away, which is why this movie, but then yellow jackets really dials into it.

Yeah. The hierarchy of a team in New Jersey versus a hierarchy out here is going to be two different things. Yeah. Yeah, and do you think being the leader of a team, like a team captain, does that translate at all to being a leader of men? No. We found out the answer was no, because Antonio did a bad job. I like when the guy says, your expedition will succeed.

I had a vision that whole when they're about to leave. I was like when people say they have a vision. I saw green grass. Yeah, it's really like, you can't lose because if you turned out you were wrong, they're going to die anyway,

but if you turn out of red, like, I told you, I saw green grass, and that's how goes. What other, what's age of best you have? I love how Nando slowly breaks down Knessa about continuing to walk.

Yeah. Like over the course of that last like 45 minutes. Almost tricking him into it a time. And he's just like, I don't know, like, doesn't seem like the radio is going to make it back. We should just keep going. Like, oh, look, I got these quilts. They feel great. We should just keep going.

Like, I don't know about you, but I feel strong. Let's keep going. Even when he's at the top of the mountain at the end and Tintin is halfway up, but he doesn't really see the peak yet. And he stops him and makes him go down to get Knessa to say, you got to get him to come up here. And Kness asks, did you see where you, did you go to the top? And he was like, no. But Nando swears it's something to see. And so he's just like, oh, Christ, like, he's another Nando trick.

Anything else? What's the best for your crack? I really like the married couple. I thought... Oh, I'm Leanna Douglas, yeah. Yeah, I thought they did a really good job. And, like, actually, we're, like, one of the real emotional pieces of the movie. That'd be like you and Liz.

Just stable? Liz ain't touching human meat, let me tell you. Not happening? Not happening. She'd be like, is there a vegan option? The Big Cahuna Burger Award for Best Use of Food or Drink. Well, this is kind of... I'm going to go with the wine.

I was going to go with the toothpaste. Oh. And it's always funny to think about what we... taste amazing if you hadn't had toothpaste in 60 days or whatever. This is back-to-back rewatchables of people just guzzling wine straight out of the bottle. That's true.

True, we're on a streak. I don't think Miles lasts long on the mountain. I think you kill Miles before you even think about cannibals. You're just like, this guy has to go. I had this for probably in answerable questions, but what's the combination of no toothpaste, 1972 cigarettes,

and human flesh for morning breath? Is that just a whole new level? I mean, can you imagine with the fuselage of that plane smelled like after a while. Oh, I, so I have... It's gangrene. Well, because I have bad eyesites.

So I have a really good nose. And I, my wife and I always talk about that. I just have really... She always calls me like the super nose. I can always be like, what's that smell? What is that? Fucking Spider-Man? What are you talking about?

Yeah, I'm like a bat. But I always think like, that's what would kill me the most. It was like, God damn, the fucking Bial and Alberto. I'm surprised they let the gang green guy kind of take up so much real estate. Yeah, the gangrene guy's got to go. You've got to be like, hey man, we have this other setup for you outside.

Come with us. And then you're just dumping them down. Super comfortable. Gangrene guy, there's no worse smell than gangrene apparently. I have never had the pleasure, but yeah. Yeah. The Denna Thieves Benihon Award for Scene Stealing Locations. Got to go with the Andes.

But it's not really the Andes. They filmed it somewhere else. I like those big sprawling ski mountain, but not really cool places. Butch's Girlfriend Award for Weeklink of the film. We mentioned him before. Roy the radio guy. Oh, I have a different one. Oh, what do you have?

The mechanic. Oh, I had him for the Judd Nelson New Jackson Award for guys in a different movie. What the hell is that guy doing in this movie? What about the radio? Can it be made to work? Not without batteries. Well, are there batteries or not? The batteries are in the tail, and the tails got!

He was really, he's really like supposed to be comic relief, I guess, because they keep doing the bit where he's ranting and then they all walk away from him. Yeah. But I have to say, character-wise, that Jose Ziniga, I think is the guy who plays it, but like, character-wise, I was like pretty psyched that he got taken out the avalanche. Batteries are in the tail, and the tail's gone! Did not like that guy. What's he doing? What's age of worst? Just this story.

Ethan Hawk, refused to grow a beard for the movie. This is incredible shit. He maintained his goate. That was it. Did he have that level of cachet? No, but it's a perfect movie star move. All these guys have beards and look the same. And it's like, to this day, you're like, Josh Hamilton, which one was Josh Hamilton?

The one with the beard. It's like everybody had a beard. But fucking Ethan Hawk had a cool goatee. Just like fucking Troy Wood. Yeah. We've had a couple of these now with people finding out in the research that actors refused to do stuff. Yeah. And this was a really good one.

There was a whole thing in Fallout with the mustache. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Ethan, you're going to grow the beard? Nah, I'm good. Yeah. So you're going to have a goatee? We have no razors or shaving cream on this fucking mountain.

No, me and Rick Linklater are going to go to Austria soon, and so I got to have a goatee for that. What a fucking flex. Another at what's aged the worst. This was a really good big screen movie. I saw this in the movie theater. Really, really, really, really, really cool, like big, wide sprawling. It's just, you know, on the, TV is just not the same.

Kinesse tells Nando, he sees a road to the east, but they go the other way. They had a 2005 expedition that recreated their whole journey from the crash site, and they found out it was a road, and they fucked that up. Yeah. And then also just like the idea that all those other supplies were just three hours away the entire time. Like there was more chocolate, more toothpaste, all that stuff was just three. Now it wouldn't have to sustain them probably to the extent that they didn't have to eat each other,

Yeah, far be it for us to criticize the people who had just been thrust in the situation, but it does feel like they needed somebody asking questions. Like, what's the other part of the plane? Where is it? Like, they didn't have enough strength to even walk up a mountain, right? Yeah. To walk up one hill. They were also misled, right?

The pilot incorrectly informed them where they were. So they were turned around and like with the way they wanted to go was it was actually the wrong way because of what the pilot told them. I think Alberto was right when he was like, go to west. That's where the green mountain, the green valleys of Chile are. but the pilot thought, the reason why they crashed is because the pilot

had misnavigated, I guess. Yeah, he turned north way too early. Although there's another reason why they crashed, which people got to. Ron Burgundy flew to word. Best time for a pee break. After Antonio gets mad,

you can basically disappear for eight minutes. Nothing really happens other than more of the same. You can come back, you're not so much. Let's take a break. Oh, go.

Sorry, I said two other what age is the worst. Go, let's hear them. Well, so one is just crossing the Andes to play college rugby. I just feel like that's, I mean, maybe play a little bit more of a local league, you know. But number two, how good were they? Was this like a huge matchup? This is one of those funny things where I'm glad you're here, because you don't know if you know this.

But it was fucking scary to get lost before the internet. When you would just like, even if you were like, if you were on like a road trip with your parents and they would get like super lost, that's where like divorce started getting talked about. And like, it would just get really dicey there for a while where you were just like, yeah, I don't know where we are. I guess we have to go find a pay phone to like call to find out. But if you didn't have a map, like, you were really screwed back in the day where you were like, I missed my exit. I'm fucked. It's so true.

And even now, like, the sheer panic in 2023, if you, if you like leave your phone at home or like you're on the internet and you're just like driving your car at such low stakes, but it's legitimately scary. It's like, it's like a brain disease now at the point where like if I go on vacation, And even in a beautiful place, and, like, the Wi-Fi isn't working. I'm just, like, this trip is ruined, like, somehow. You know what I mean? Because, like, I'm not going to be able to find out what the best cafe is five blocks away. Yeah, I mean, I'm still using, like, Apple Maps to get to a location I've been to dozens of times. Yeah.

And if Apple Maps shut down, I'd be disoriented. I'm like, wait, how do I get there? It's like, I don't even think about it anymore. I went to Acapulco, 1999, with my mom and stepdad and my best friend, Jeff Gallo. I knew you were going to have a story. And we got lost. Yeah. And we were kind of, and we didn't have anything, and it was like, go that way, go this way.

And there was this one road. And my stepdad was like, we should go that way. And we started driving down. And it was a little dark. And it was like, where is this going? And my mom was like, stop. Don't keep going that way. I have a bad feeling if we keep going this way.

And he turned around and then we end up finding the right way. My friend, Jeff, always just joked about it. Like, if your mom doesn't stop us, man, we're just not here. Right. We don't have kids. we're not married, like your mom saved us. We have no idea what was down the road. If this happened today in a plane crashed in the Andes,

wouldn't you still pretty much be in the same situation? I mean, your phones would be useless. I just think that there would be, I mean, a lot of... We'd have better satellite stuff. Yeah, there would be better satellite stuff. There's probably better radio communications. You're being digitally tracked. So, like, they could probably be like,

this is where we lost the signal. The only plane that's disappeared in the last, like, 15 years was the Malaysian Airlines flight, but that was a hoax, as we know. Well. No, I'm kidding. Whatever happened. Joe Rogan, come on it.

What happened to that? Close to when I did a podcast about it. There's a couple of different theories. Yeah. About who might have done that. That'd be the next. Well, that'd be a movie. We're going to take a break, come back with...

What's where we come? Oh, okay. Yeah, I have a good one coming back on. Did you, wait, did you see that when that... Because Kevin Clark just told me about this, when the Malaysia flight went away, when it disappeared, they were like, And when it crashed, they were like, they asked the Taliban, like, did you guys do this? And they're like, man, if only, we would have loved to.

Right. But like, yeah. We can't take credit for that. This episode is brought to by Whole Foods Market. Spring is here, so celebrate it with fresh, juicy, seasonal produce and some very tasty limited time flavors. New Whole Foods, Market Peach, Apricot, Rose, Italian soda. Perfect for a picnic or brunch.

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Accept it. Schedule pickup, and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today. Carvana. Pick up fees may apply. Was there a better title for this movie? What do you got, Craig?

Miracle of the Andes is what this is kind of referred to as. Makes it sounds like more sports movie. Yeah. Alive. That's better than Alive. Alive sounds like a horror movie on Shutter. I can't decide. The thing about Alive is that there's something about it

that almost suggests what happens. It feels visceral a little bit. Miracle of the Andes feels like, it's just these guys just banded together and they made it work, you know? It's almost like a misnomer. That's a good one, though. I have a couple other possible titles.

Snow Feast. Oh, my God. Snowburgers. Human sushi. Cannibal Airlines. No. Human jerky. Human jerky.

Best quote. What's so great about hope? If we die, we're going to die walking. That's your sports movie moment, Chris Ryan. That's the one. That's the best moment in Cannibal Airlines. Human sushi. This would have to be a series from the director of Cannibal Airlines.

human sushi Jesus Christ It would be funny if it would be funny if they did the die hard on a blank but it was with somebody who was like This alive thing worked out Let's keep making this Alive on a submarine

Alive in a skyscraper Each one is same beats What do you got for Steve Niz Smith Let us take a word Well my favorite quote is just Roberto are you ready to go out there And cut flesh from a human body and eat it.

Really is just like direct. I didn't have a hottest take of this. No? Not really, yeah. I mean, my hottest take is essentially

this is no way Craig didn't have but this is a sports movie. I have two. One, you can go listen to my hottest take about altruistic cannibalism,

but I didn't think they got into cannibalism enough, as I said earlier. I think they should have kind of shown the, kind of the nastiness of it. I just think you have

people barfing in the aisles. Yeah, maybe I'm just desensitized now. My second hotest take is a bit more abstract. Part of me and there's nothing to do with cannibalism it has to do with the crash itself

and like what they went through. A little bit of me wants this to happen to me. Yeah. To know what you would do. I just think that I'm so, I worry about so little now. I'm incredibly privileged.

Everything's so easy now. It's like I, I'm probably never going to have anything close to this. I want to know what I'm capable of. I'll tell you something right now. So the other, this is what Tom Cruise said. like 20 years ago

and look at that fucking guy So two nights ago there was actually a flash flood on my street so I live on a street that's at the bottom of two hills pretty much and there was a flash flood

and my wife drives a mini so she was out of town but I was like looking out in the window and I was like that water is like this seems like the moment before I see the mini

float away you know like you're like Stallone and daylight so I was just like you know what and she like owns the car so we was like I was like

this is gonna be such a fucking nightmare if this car floods or something like that and I just have to put it like in the driveway on higher ground. So I like go outside. As soon as I go outside, the fucking water is up to my knees. And it's like rushing. And I was just like, first of all like in my head, I'm like, I'm the idiot who needs to get rescued from a thing that didn't, you didn't really need to be there for. But the other thing was like I haven't felt more alive than like two years. Right. This is fucking awesome. Like, and I'm like moving two cars

around and like, I'm like, there's another guy driving. I'm like, we got it, brother. We're doing it. You know? The amount of adrenaline that we feel nowadays is probably 10 times less than people 100 years ago. Of course. When people go on Survivor and they're just like, I fucking found out something about myself. And they're on TV. Like, imagine what it would be like to be in this situation.

Yeah, I want to know if, like, I can handle the moment. I want to be in one of them. I just feel bad if Nando's listening to this and he's just like, you guys, you know what I want to do fucking record podcasts. This is why we should have mountain lions and cougars and all that stuff just roaming around L.A. Just once a week, or once a year, everybody should just be, like, dropped on an island for a week without anything. Well, this was the purge, right?

Well, basically what they did in the purge where once a year, you're basically, let's go. Yeah, but I like it. Like, it's like outward bound, mandatory outward bounds so that we all realize, you know what, maybe like, let's just not argue about, like. Yeah, like, even the smallest scale of that is just like, no technology for a week.

What do you do? Right. I would love that once a year, a social media pandemic. My hottest take was very similar to yours. I felt like they could have dialed up the, eating part a little bit more. I was so interested in the science of what they chose to eat and how they did it.

I know they're being respectful. I'm sure they tested this movie as shit. Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Like what the best parts? Was there a bad part? Was there like, oh, I thought that was going to be better? There was no real discussion about it after they ate it. There was not that tasted weird. I don't feel good.

I just felt like you're all on a team. Like, you're probably going to talk about it a little more openly. And I bet in real life they did. Maybe in the movie they felt like it was off. Casting with ifs, there's really only one great one. Roberto is supposed to be,

or Canessa was supposed to be Brad Pitt, who got auditioned but did a bad reading, so he gave him to Josh Hamilton. I think that Brad Pitt could have done... He should have been Tintin. Or he should have been Nando. Josh Hamilton works...

Nando? Yeah, Josh Hamilton... Well, I want... You're Bump and Hawk? I want Pitt in the movie, but I don't think he needs a huge part. I think Hamilton's good in a... his role as kind of the like secondary. The big miss for me or the recasting thing would be Affleck as Spano's part.

Oh yeah. Affleck would have been a great Antonio. Just like, come on, guys. Pull together. Yeah. That's good. Mallrats era Affleck, you know. I had a, let's skip ahead of recasting couch, whether this is a nice Leo stage where he could have probably pulled off being one of the,

one of the younger guys maybe, something like that. We could add Leo and the Andes. I just wish there was one awesome star who wasn't a star he had in the movie, whether it was Brad Pitt, Leo, any of those guys, Affleck, Damon. It would have been fun to have one of them in there.

The Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge overacting award. They knew and they let it happen. Don't you call me, lady. I come in here. I give these things to you. Give it all you got! This and me.

Keep it all you got! I treated you like a son. You fucking. Damn me in the heart. Fuck you. I have Ethan Hawk right after he wakes up from the coma. Oh, good. That's a good one.

Yeah, he really, he comes out fucking hot. Yeah. Just shooting 38 footers. Like, settle down, Ethan. It's a long game. No, no, no, no. Forget your mother. Forget your mother.

Your sister's alive. She's alive and she needs her. But she's hurt. She needs her. She needs her to take care of her. Where is she? I'm going to get a rest for her. She's been on the matches.

Where are she? For her she? What did you have? Is that how it works where you're coming out of the coma, but then if you get bad news, you almost go back into the coma, but then they're like, but you have good news,

and he's like, I'm coming back out of the cold. It's just really weird 30 seconds. I have either Roy or the mechanic. Mechanic is out of control. Yeah. Mechanic is like in a different film. Deranged.

That's like he already has... He's already eaten human brains and has mad cow disease. Best that guy I would. word. You mentioned Michael D. Lorenzo, aka PFT William Santiago. Yeah.

From a few good men. But those super bad guys better. I didn't even catch that. Jack Knowsworthy is another one. Josh Lucas? Josh Lucas? He's on the plane. He's Josh Lucas, though.

I feel like people. Deanne Waiter's Award. It's tough because everybody's in the movie to say metal link. It's got to be Malcolmidge. Yeah. I also shout out to the screaming lady. My legs!

Shut up, lady. I'm in agony. Oh! Oh my God. They get mad at her. I like everyone else is exhausted and can hardly talk, and she's yelling at, like... I know.

They definitely probably escorted her out of the plane. The half-ass internet research. The real Nando was technical advisor to the film. Shout out to him. The real plane crashed on Friday the 13th, which I thought was weird. The film's location was the ski town of Panorama and the Canadian Rockies. It took a fleet of five helicopters, take the crew and the cast every day.

They would have done green screen the shit out of this now. The human error stuff with the actual plane crash was they thought they had passed Carrico and were supposed to turn north and head into Santiago. So it was human error. And they hadn't passed yet. There was a storm. They turned north way sooner and just turned right into the... Not only that, with the plane.

So the plane was called the 78 Fairchild FH-227. 23 of the 78 Fairchild planes crashed. Saw that. That's like, if you go 23 for 78 in baseball, you're like on a crazy hot streak. You're probably getting

a $10 million contract. There was also the heaviest snow there in like the last 50 years so they couldn't find the plane. Yeah, but those two pilots are just like, ah, we'll just make a left at this mountain. In 2005, An American hiker stumbled across the wall of Eduardo. That is fucking crazy.

30 years in the snow. It had film, cash, identity papers, and a jacket. And they've been buried for 33 years. I have a question about Nando being a technical advisor. Yeah. You live through this. You come through it. Do you make the rest of your life about writing a book about it,

being a technical advisor on it? The Michael Ruziani. Or do you block it out? Or do you just say, this like I'm going to cover your guine football for the daily newspaper I don't want have anything to do with this. In the 70s I feel like it's a lot easier to just kind of forget about it and avoid it

2022 you have a podcast and like you just start the media tour begins right you're on every TV show yeah there's a documentary that you narrate you have a 10 part podcast yeah you could go one of two ways we saw with Michael Rizzini he became America's house guest for 40 years

he was just the US Olympic hockey 1980 guy so the script was kicking around since 1980 apparently there was a very very inappropriate

Mexican adaptation called survive in 1976 but was inappropriate about it it just bum people out so everyone stayed away for another 17 years yeah maybe they cross the line I don't know not like this pot

we warn people coming in for the scene they decided whether you eat the dead, the actors all fasted for two days so they could feel hungrier when they had the conversation. Wow. I personally think they probably didn't need to do that. You could probably have that combo anyway. So you mentioned

the other one was the avalanche gave them eight new bodies of food and probably kept everyone else alive, which is pretty interesting. Apex Mountain. We talked about plane crashes. Yeah, plane crashes. It's definitely in top three. Ethan Hawk, no. Survival movies?

Survival movies? I think. think it's up there. Castaway, though, right? Castaway wins, but it's brought up. Do you consider the Revenant a survival movie? I haven't seen it since we saw it. Yeah. We sat in the theater.

It's like, wow, they fought that bear for 50 minutes. When it comes to survival, castaway aside, I really prefer the group survival movie that to like the individual survival movie. Yeah. Cannibalism movies. What are the other ones? Well, they're horror movies. Yeah.

Right. So it's like the Chalomay movie that just came out. Bones and all, like, Cannibal Hall. Doesn't usually work for a mass audience. Is this really, like, the only non-horror cannibalism movie? It's probably. I can't really think of any others. Well, you have like the, what was that play?

Sweeney Todd, the chef and he used to, is the musical, but he's actually a cannibal. And Hannibal Lector, I've never seen Sweeney Todd. I didn't. I didn't either. Is that right? Sweeney Todd's about cannibalism? I thought he just cut people up with his street razor. I didn't know that.

But then I thought he made food with him. Oh, wow. I haven't seen in a while. your Guyan rugby movies definitely for sure Josh Hamilton no Neandis is a location definitely

not a lot of Apex Mountain for this Cigarette smoking movies No I mean it's not even close to the verdict You know what I mean like What's your Apex Mountain cigarette movie Wow Shit you just dropped that on me Want to answer next time we do a pod

Well I mean Apex Mountain for cigarette smoking And filmed entertainment is probably Mad Men for me I think we might have talked about this when we did Goodfellas. Oh yeah,

because it's all the different styles of smoking that happened. De Niro, like that's when he took cigarette smoking and then the shot of De Niro

while Cream is playing smoking and thinking about killing the guy is like, the most Corleone and Godfather too has some really

good smoking. He has it kind of like elegantly, right? Yeah. Best racehorse name Tintin, Knesso?

What do you got, Craig? I thought about Tintin as well. Nando? Not bad? Yeah. You know? Not a lot of others.

I guess, oh, my legs wouldn't be a good horse name. I'm in agony. Oh, it was like the Will Ferrell. Please, I'm badly burned. I'm badly burned, but I'm still alive. Shame on you for not saving me. Pickin' it's. I have a lot.

Why didn't they take the clothes off the dead people? You'll eat the dead people, but you won't take their clothes? Everybody's freezing. They do it. They take the jacket off of Nando's sister when she passes away, but that's it. Well, the mechanics. steals it, right? Yes, originally. Right. They, I

assumed that they were like, let's bury the dead or put them outside, because we're going to get rescued in a week. And then, or we're going to get rescued tomorrow or whatever. And then when it becomes apparent that they're not going to get rescued, all those clothes are completely frozen and soaked. So, I think they would have a lot of issues with,

I mean, I'm sure they did with frostbite, hypothermia, the clothes being wet from the snow and then freezing. It's just like, they're doing a lot of gambolling around in the in the snow. I know. What's incredible about this movie? It happened in real life though, so we know. Is if, yeah, like I was just going to say,

if this movie wasn't a real true story, I would have a ton of nitpicks about how they survive, but it's incredible that they did. Like, using these like makeshift snow boots. Yeah. I have no idea how they all... Like, what if it wasn't a sunny day that day? You just, like, have no water.

I can't believe they live. Could you just eat the snow, though? I don't get that part. I think that you get some hydration at eating snow, but not like you do what you would from drinking water. Got it. Also, that cabin, the fuselage. fuselage how do you say that?

Eight by 11 feet. There's 28 of them living in there. This is the most incredible story. But you need 8 by 11 feet so it's like basically the studio one right now. Yeah, honestly, not very different. And 28 people slept in here. But it's probably also like the only way they lived

was body heat from that. Right. Maybe that's the name of this movie. Body eat. Body meat? Body eat, yeah. This is a picking-in-it for me. This movie's two hours and seven minutes.

Hawk and Hamilton they're finally like let's keep going and like 10 seconds later it was like hot points in slow motion there's like a scene missing Yeah there's They botched that

That's like they're also The best thing in the movie The two best people in the movie So you're kind of like If the second half of the movie was their trip But then I think that they wait a long time And I like how Ethan Hawk

Comes in as the gear change In the middle of the movie But he's in a coma For like the first 40 minutes Right Yeah I would have had a scene With them walking

And talking about the people they lost or like some abstract combo, something, where it's like they're connecting on some level and then like, wait, what's that? And we have a moment. I know. They run into a guy in real life, right? When they're on their journey, Nando and Kinesa,

I would have liked to have seen them actually like wave down the guy on the horse and have all that happen. Yeah. Yeah. The final rescue scene in real life shows the pastors being surprised by the helicopters, but they actually heard on the radio. that they found, they were coming back. So they knew they were coming.

So they could have played that either way. I think probably the helicopter fist pump was better. I like that more as a viewer. But them listen to the radio and be like, wait, what, what is that? That could have been fun to. I wonder if it ever occurred to them to, like, just not mention the cannibalism part.

I believe they didn't at first. Oh, really? Yeah, I think they kind of underplayed it. And then it came out. And then there was this backlash, so they had to address it and be like, hey, listen, this was an necessity. I wonder who blew it.

Who snitched? Yeah, who is the cannibalism snitch? They were like, yeah, you know, the cigarettes turns out you can smoke them for 70 days. What did you guys eat? Ah, we a lot chocolate. Just having some chocolate, yeah. Yeah, we had some energy bars. You know.

Chocolate pairs well with some types of meat. Killed a couple lions out there. Yeah, lions. Yeah. Where were the animals on the Andes? It's too, too fucking cold. Too brutal. Nothing?

No, there's no animals. Okay. agitation. Canessa is shown sitting by Nando in the rescue helicopter, but he actually never made the trip. He was so debilitated by dysentery. Oh my God. That he could no longer walk.

What is dysentery exactly? It's basically like, it's not food poisoning, but it's a stomach, you know. Isn't that what they all had on Raiders at the Lost Ark? Yeah. Yeah, it's like when you it's when you get like a disease in a yeah. It's terrible diarrhea.

Any of their nipicks? This is another one that's more broad, why do they call off search parties just in general? Like, they stopped after seven days looking for this plane. Yeah, why not? I think they're like, they're dead. But like, wouldn't you still want to like, at least let's get eyes on the plane and then we can call it off?

Well, I think it's supposed to be the same kind of idea of like this thing was only three hours away and yet it felt like it was like a thousand miles away. It was like for the planes, they're like, we could search all of the Andes. I mean, they actually couldn't find the Malaysia plane. Like they were searching like the Andes forever for a week. like we can't find it. These guys wouldn't have lived.

We're calling off the rescue. I just think it's such a, they called it off so quick. Like, I would think it was eight days, they called it off? Like, wouldn't you want to just keep doing, is it that much of,

big of a task to just fly once a day, look down, check out when the cloud's clear? I'd be really mad if, like, nine days, like, how about 30? Yeah. Or especially when the snow stops.

Like, yeah, maybe we'll circle back. Yeah. It's like the worst conditions. They couldn't see that through the clouds, so the planes couldn't see them. Maybe check again when the, when the sun.

opens up. Sequel, Prequel, Prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. It's probably untouchable. I was thinking how funny it would be if this was just an all black cast for no reason. Because they're all talking

in American anyway, but they're from Uruguay. So at that point, like all bets are off. You're just throwing all kinds of people. Yeah, Jonathan Majors is Antonio. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins? Oh, God.

Treo. Catherine, Don, Steve Bersheve. Sam Jackson, J.T. Walsh, or Philip Bakerhall. God damn! I thought you would go for the... No, I was here with Mr. Sushi Chef. Leave some for the rest of us. A little Frank's Red Hot or something. I don't know why I'm adding all these extra flourishes.

Wayne Jenkins never talks about bonds. What episode of the rewatch was what we stopped doing for Wayne Jenkins? I'm never going to stop. I'm not stopping until one day we're just. doing it and fucking Bernthal walks in. He's with us? Yeah. Okay. Just want Oscar who gets it. I have the

Hawk and the score as the finalist. Don't worry, Nando. We didn't eat your sister. Don't be a fucking baby about it. Hawk or the score? Hawk. Wait, what's the question? Oscar. I'm going to score.

Score. Hawk's good, but he does dial up in that one scene. Probably in answerable questions. Mine, we're all about the cigarettes. Mine was about trying to, why do they cook the meat? Should Nando have been captain all along? That, I would love to see the first take segment on that.

Coming up. I don't know. Seemed like a better leader to team respected or more. Jumping off the captain, Antonio, for a second. Did he hear Roy have something going on? Like, why is Roy just like, I got to follow Antonio? around and do everything he says. They just fucking crashed a plane.

If you're Roy, aren't you just like, yeah, how about you fucking take care of that yourself? Antonio, I'm not like your assistant. I think Roy was like partially brain damaged from the crash. Should they have thrown in one snow rugby game sequence to lighten it up? They were peeing in the rugby balls.

They couldn't do that. Because they couldn't pee outside. Their urine would freeze immediately. That's right, because they had the bottle in the plane. They peed inside the rugby balls and then poured it out. Oh, that's disgusting. You're right. I agree with you.

Like, did they do anything for fun over the 70 days? Another amazing scent for the fuselage. Oh, my God. I mean, at that point, the smell's so bad, you can just put anything in there. It wouldn't even matter. Yeah, I had a lot of questions about them. Bill Simmons and his superhuman sense of smell is overwhelmed. Where did they take a dump?

There must have been like a porta-potty setup outside of just like a giant pit in the snow. I would imagine that's 50 feet away or something. Although they probably also all have dysentery because they're like, oh my God, new underwear. Oh, God. Yeah, that part is to me is almost darker than the cannibalism is the pooh-pee situation in the 11 by 8 plane

where you can't go outside. I will say, to Roy's credit, you know, like, the first, I think when I was watching it just now, like the last time I watched it, I was like, so they really thought Roy could like fix this plane transmission plane radio because he set up his brother's stereo. He would have seen like

Mark Cuban making broadcast.com stereos back then were really complicated. Like, dude, fucking Yeah, good funny. They're going to pick anybody. The speaker wires to go into the right thing and you had to ground everything.

So maybe Roy was a little bit of a genius. More in answerable questions. This one's for Craig. Once you eat human flesh, can you go back? Is there a line that is just, that's it? I was wondering if When Canessa and Nando get back, do they not touch red meat? Like, are they vegans now?

Are they vegetarians? I don't think in South America in the 70s people really. Just soups, salad and cigarettes? Yeah. Yeah, like, does he, like, gag at the side of a steak now? I'd probably be on a pretty heavy Cheerios diet for a while. Heavy grains? Yeah, just like carbs.

A lot of binding foods. Sure. Best double future choice for you, Chris? I'm going to go with Fearless because it's a, underrated movie anyway. Peter Weir's plane crash movie with Jeff Bridges and it's also about the aftermath of a plane crash. Yellow jackets? Does that count? Can I say

that? No. I can't. Yeah, it's a double feature. It's not going to watch this and then watch 10 hours on yellow jackets. I don't know, 127 hours? Just really dig into it. Oh yeah. Wow. That's good. Good. Look, you just pulled it out your back pocket. That's another movie like this movie where the him cutting his arm off is the shark from Jaws saying, you're like, I know, this is coming. Right. You kind of like secretly can't wait. I think it would be easier for me to eat another person

that would be to saw off my own arm. Oh, I think so easily. 100%. I mean, he used like a small pocket knife to do it. Yeah. That's like the most gruesome thing you could ever do. I have Castaway for double future choice. You have the whole team element of being trapped alone and the individual.

And I think that's a good combo. And it came out after. Would you rather be on the Castaway Island or with the guys in the Andes? I want to be the Castaway Island. You're going to be alone? Well, are you just talking about Geographic location? No, the entire experience.

Yeah, you want Castaway. Yeah, you can go fishing and shit. Yeah, you're fine. Part of the issue with them is that they were in the most arid, lifeless place in the world to say nothing in the fact of what the elements were doing in them.

I'm an extrovert. I'd probably drive myself nuts on that Castaway Island. You just find a volleyball. Start talking to it. You're good. Yeah, a piss-filled rugby ball. You know, I think,

whatever the draft picks are for where you want to be, Alive is last. Yeah. That's number one. I would not want to be in that situation. I'd rather be on the mountains than straight in the desert, though. Fair.

The Andean Red Zawantanae Award for what happened the next day. I just wrote down showering. It's a long shower. Maybe some teethbrush. And then some frosted flakes. Yeah. Head to sweet green. You know?

Yeah. Have a smoothie. All that must have gone to hospital, right? Intravenous fluids for quite a while. I don't know Then go see the French connection Smoke some cigs What piece of memorabilia

Would you want for the movie? I thought it was cool That they all had like Pretty cool aviator glasses The red shoe? I had the sneakers The red sneakers That's good

That piece of glass Their knife So not the rugby ball Not the rugby ball What's your coach Finstock award For Best Life lesson Or do you want me to take it?

Go ahead Just start eating start dating sooner. That was my big lesson. Don't wait. You know where it's heading once you find out they've called off the search party? Yeah.

You need strength to get the fuck off that mountain and you just got to do it. You don't need four days of debate that you don't need. Whatever it takes. You're to land in the same spot four days from now. You just got to suck it up and go. Do whatever it takes.

Yeah. Or mine would be, while you have the energy, take the trip right when you land. You know? In the first week, It was winter and it was bad. True, that's true. So, like, I think that they, and I would feel really dumb dying on a walk three days into plane crash

if the helicopter came on the fourth day. You know what I mean? I think the one thing they should have done in retrospect was try to find the other part of the plane, knowing that there was more stuff in there that could have helped the group. We didn't talk about the sledding. That actually seemed really fun. But dangerous. Like, I don't know, like, there's no brakes on there.

that sled. You're going on a mountain. I would have been on that sled every day. Do it in a frozen pee at the top of the bottom. I would have turned it into a game. That would have been a whole new sport up there, that sled game. Oh, no, because for your extrovert, you could start at a sledding league. Yeah. Start keeping advanced analytics. Obstacle courses?

I mean, those guys work. What's your true sledding percentage? Competitive crazy rugby guys, right? They would probably have gotten competitive with the sledding. Yeah. Yeah. Who won the movie for you guys? Talk.

I have Hawk as well. Yeah, me too. Are you glad we did this? Yeah. Yeah, me too. We're talking about as a movie, not as the human experience. This is actually like a very like OG rewatchables for me where it's like a movie from the 90s that was on a lot and that I watched on video a lot and that was just like a really cool coming of age movie. And also a debate with your friends or your college roommate or whatever as you're watching.

But do you know anybody who would be like absolutely not? I'd rather die. Probably. Do you think fantasy would rather die? I think he... No, I think he would have stolen all the cigarettes and taken off. He's off with the carton. Fantasy is too determined.

He would have done anything, I think. So you think it's a matter... He's like, Dano DeLewis has come back to acting. I'm out of here, guys. What would be the worst piece of news? What would be the thing that you would be like, I can't believe if the Celtics won the finals? Like, what if we crashed during, like,

the Eastern Conference championship? Oh, like, some sort of news that would drive me crazy. What's like the biggest pop culture event that you wouldn't want to miss? Trying to think. This is a great question. Hatham Bloom is assigned Trevor Story to an extension. Trevor Story's Tommy John surgery was successful. Probably something Celtics related, like that they trade.

It would be more that they... Wouldn't get the finals or something? Yeah, they traded for some awesome guy or they moved up in the drive. They get Zion. Yeah. For you would be Brock Purdy. No, not Brian. Kenny Pickett,

Kenny Pickett 10-year, $200 million contract extension. You're like, this guy's in my life. George Pickens sets the touchdown record. George Pickens turned into

like Jerry Rice. He already is in my eyes. I think it would be like finding out that heat too got greenlit while I was on the mountain. Imagine if we were on the mountain. Just greenlit?

No, if they were yet, there was just a deadline story about it. Imagine if we were on the mountain but we had the radio, fantasy's already left with all the cigarettes. and we find out that Heat 2 is awesome. Yeah.

Heat 2 has come out and it's going to... And it's like incredible. It's better than Heat 1. Yeah. That'd be tough. Tough one for us. All right, we told you this is going to be a weird podcast. This is also produced by Craig Horleck.

Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Chris Ryan. One Word movie month continues next week with a much more congenial, happy movie. I promise. We'll see you that.