The Rewatchables - 'Con Air’ With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Chris Ryan

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Chris Ryan hijack the podcast to discuss 1997 action thriller 'Con Air' starring Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, and John Malkovich, directed by Simon West. Welcome aboard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to The Ringer Podcast Network. I'm Liz Kelly. We wanted to remind you to check out the ringer's YouTube page. We're publishing new original videos all the time, including a new This Is Us parody called This Is Bus, featuring some of your favorite ringer employees like Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion and Chris Ryan. And on Friday, we published a video breaking down the staff's favorite moments of 2018 in sports and pop culture, ranging from a star is born to the Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty. These videos and more can be found at YouTube.com slash The Ringer. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Khan Air.

Yes. After serving the last of his sentence, Cameron Poe is taking the first plane home to his wife and daughter. Today's flight is a special one. We're populating Louisiana's belt of penitentiary. These guys are the worst of the worst. Welcome to Con Air. This summer, check your weapons and say your prayers.

directed by Simon West. Thank you and have a pleasant flight. Hey, Bill Simmons here. Jay Serrano is here. Chris Ryan is here. I think this is the best movie ever made. I realized that this morning as I watched it again. Some people say it's the godfather.

Other people say Citizen Kane. I don't know. This is an amazing movie. I forgot how good it was. I hadn't really watched it from start to finish in about two and a half years. That's my fault. And it's just wonderful.

Is this everything you've been? ever want in a movie Shay? Yes, this is everything. Neither one of the movies that you mentioned a minute ago have an airplane prison in it. No. So they can be number one. It's an airplane prison. Airplane prison.

It's a flying jail. An airplane prison break movie. One of those movies has Steve Bouchemey joking about Sweet Home Alabama while it's playing on an airplane prison? Neither one of those movies have John Malkovich dropping gems on everybody or mulleted Nicholas Cage, just doing roundhouse kicks and speaking with a Georgia accent.

You know, we have this category when we do the rewatchables. Would this movie be better with Danny Treo, Steve Bouchemey or Michael K. Williams? Two of the three people from that category in this movie. That alone might make it a rewatchable's like Hall of Famer. It really might.

This is first about it. If Saul Rubeneck was in it? Oh, man. So here's the plot. Honorably discharged Army Ranger I'm in I'm in He's from Alabama not from Georgia

I don't know I'm going to get discharged So he's sentenced to 8 to 10 years in prison for manslaughter after killing a drunken man who was one of three men

who basically tried to attack him and harass his pregnant wife usually we save this for picking nits but this is one of the craziest most ludicrous moments in the history of movies Okay.

Honored guy, right? Right. Back from serving our country. Just at a bar. Just out. These three fuckheads try to fuck with them basically at the bar. Yeah. They're just known degenerate awful people.

They fall them out in a rainstorm. All three of them fight them. One of them pulls the knife. In self-defense, he punches and somehow does the Mike Tyson punch. It kills the guy. Does the nose into the brain? And. With a palm strike.

And somehow goes to jail. Doesn't seem like he had great legal representation. It seems like he's the worst legal representation of all time. The lawyer tells him it'll be tops a year. Yeah. OJ. got off. And the camera pro went to jail for 10 years. And the judge says to him.

The judge says, With your military skills, you are a deadly weapon and are not subject to the same laws as other people that are provoked because you can respond with deadly force. The lawyer should have known that. Yeah. He should have known. Are we sure he's not subject to the same law of civilians?

He's discharged already. We have to look at Alabama state legal statutes. I'm not sure. If anybody here is an Alabama lawyer and wants to write in and let us know, we had a lot of good lawyers chime in for the firm. But I'm not sure. We didn't get some good email feedback with that. First degree manslaughter.

That guy was like you're going to get four years. You'll do one. There have been other movies where that has been like a thing, like your hands are registered weapons. It's been said before. And that's like kind of the premise around the lethal weapon part of Mel Gibson, a lethal weapon. He is the lethal weapon. Right.

Right. It just feels like if three guys are trying to attack somebody and that person defense themselves, that's enough in court. Well, the problem was they couldn't find the knife. Because one of the guys picked it up. Yeah, he tells him the. But he had a witness. They had multiple witnesses talking about how they were being harassed at the bar. She ran away before the knife comes out.

She ran away to go get the guy in the restaurant. This was a misstep. flimsy premise. By Nick Cage. He just got in the car. Serial season four should be what happened in that parking office. And how the Alabama penal system, how the Alabama criminal justice is in. How it just fails, Cameron, Poe.

So he goes to jail for eight years. It's paroled. For some reason, can't just go back to Alabama has to get a ride on the flying prison jail with all of these convicts, which is also a loophole. But that's fine. The plane is called the jailbird. I forgot to mention the three people that, the three degenerates that came after him, one of their cases for not liking him was, chicken shit, because of pussy's like you, we lost Vietnam, I'll tell you that.

That's my favorite guy in the world. He throws money at him. He's like, buy me around. Yeah, buy me and my buddy. Also, I love that these people 22 years later in Alabama are mad about losing Vietnam. It's the topic of conversation with these drunk assholes. I wonder. So when I watched this movie and I got to that part,

I was offended for Nicholas Cage or for Cameron Poe. I wonder if that's an insult that people say to military people all the time. Like, is that the lowest thing you can be like... In 97, maybe. This movie does a great job of making, like, anybody who's about to get, like, killed, get their leg broken, get the crap eaten out of them. They always say or do something completely despicable right before it so that you're like,

yes! Smash the guy's. knows. This has been a recurring action theme. Somebody who's a good person who served our country, and that somehow rubs some degenerate at a bar the wrong way. Okay. It's like, how dare you devote your life to protecting us?

You think you're better than me? You think you're better than me, Cameron Poe. So it leads to, yeah, we'll hold that thought. Hold on. It made $224 million. $75 million budget. That's not bad. That's not bad. 55 on Rotten Tomatoes. A little disappointed in the general public out there.

Mixed reviews, Roger Ebert reviewing the film for the Chicago Sun Times, 3 and 4 stars. He's been on. He's got a few red on the nose. He said it moves smoothly and with visual style and verbal wit. The Ebert Hot Street continues. He's with nine straight where we've agreed with Ebert. Shea true or false. this movie was nominated for two Oscars. True.

True. Best original song. Yes. Do you want to sing it? I can live? How do I live with that? That's Leon Rhymes? No, it was Tricia Yerewood.

Oh, Trisha Yeroyne. Oh, no, Leanne Rimes was supposed to sing it, right? Yeah, they didn't bump there. It was also nominated for Best Sound, Lost to Titanic in both categories. Tough one. Tough one. Tough break. Simon West was the director of his first film.

Jerry Brackenheimer's first movie without Don Simpson. Jerry Brackenheimer just goes on a kind of murag heat check run. Oh, yeah. He goes a little ISO ball now. He boxed on Simpson out of it. So one of the things I love about this movie, it catches Nick Cage during one of the most epic rewatchable runs anyone's ever had. It's the best three movie stretch in history. Now I'm insulted.

No, like just pure without screwing it up? I was thinking seven. Do the seven. Do the magnificent seven. Nick Cage, 95 to 98. Okay. Or 99, I'm sorry. Kiss of death.

Uh-huh. Which I'll defend to the death. You don't, you're not going to hear me. I fucking love that movie. Don't you curse it at me. I love that. Season 11 rewatchable. You're not better than me.

Don't look at me like that. You want on Kiss the Death, Shay? No. Not Kiss of Death. Didn't like it or you haven't seen it. I didn't like it. Really? Yeah.

Wait. Which one's Kiss of Death? That's where Caruso, David Caruso, Nick Cage. There's no way you would have liked this movie. this one. Yeah, you got to see that one. Can I make that your assignment for the weekend? Yeah, I'll watch it this weekend.

What a time for Caruso. We don't have to get distracted. Incredible Caruso in that movie. Leaving Las Vegas won the Oscar. The Rock. Conninger. Face Off. The Holy Trilogy.

Three classics in a row. Comes off an Oscar and makes the Rock, Conair, and Face Off. That's the three. And put it on 20 pounds of muscle. Yeah. That's the three best movie stretch. But, say, don't sleep on sneak eyes, eight millimeter and gone in 60 seconds. It's coming right out there.

No, snake eyes and 8mm were like fart noise. When was the last time I saw 8mm? I watched it, I don't know, a couple years ago. Chris? I feel like you just... I like 8mm. I think you might just like it. Walking feet is especially in 8 millimeter.

Because of the machine, right? Like, that's your guy? You're going to see some things you can't unsee. It was a little too much. Chokey Feele's. Why has the rewatchables drawn you into this dark erotic place with eyes wide shut and 8mm? 8mm. is a great movie.

I know. That's what I'm saying. You can't count those two if you're talking about like his rock. It's the rock. It's the holy trilogy. It's face off.

I think the closest, the closest to him was Omar Epps. Omar Epps had the program in 1993. Yeah. Major League two. He was great. Yeah. I like him a lot.

And higher learning. Those three. I would say that kills a comparison. It does. But it's close. I mean, other people have had some. Clooney had O'Brother War Art thou,

the perfect storm in Ocean's 11. That's pretty amazing. But in there he had Spy Kids as well. He had like a cameo on Spy Kids. So that sort of taints it. Didn't Hank's have, didn't Hank's go, what was the baseball movie with Madonna? He had League of Their Own.

And then he did. Forrest Gump and saving Private Ryan, like right around the same time, right? No, it was, didn't he have, it was like League of Their Own Philadelphia, Forrest Gump? Oh, yeah. That was what it was. But Sleepless in Seattle. I think you might have had four in a row.

And then Apollo 13. You know who got close? Jennifer Lawrence. She got close. She had the Hunger Games, the first Hunger Games, and then Silver Linings Playbook, and then she bumble it at the goal line. It's tough to do three because they always make one bad one.

She did the end of the street. I think what makes this great is that he wins the Oscar and then makes those three movies. Because most people win the Oscar. Doing Raging Bull and then doing diehard lethal weapon and like commando right after it.

And his hair is just going through a variety of phases as this is happening. I think probably from the stairwell, that he was taking because he was massive or whatever PDs he was on. I don't think he's steroids. I think he's like Python blood. Like he does drugs that we don't even understand.

Special things. Yeah, it's like the essence. I'm with you on that. The essence of like a monkey. Like dragon blood? He got it. Somebody who had spent like time in a rainforest. Yeah.

Was where he got. He's really ripped and Conair. He's jacked. Yeah. They said, in one of the things I read, they said he lifted weights during like between scenes and stuff. Like he was just constantly.

I believe it. And he's like, and pull-ups all that stuff. Scott Rosenberg, the screenwriter, he did things to do in Denver when you're dead, beautiful girls, con air, disturbing behavior, and gone in 60 seconds.

And a five-year stretch, Massachusetts. That's a nice run for him. That's a nice run. Ving Rames. You talk about the great runs. Blood in, blood out. Yes.

Dave, Pulp Fiction. Kiss of death, Mission Impossible, E.R. Rosewood, Con Air. That's a nice five years for Ving. When did he do Baby Boy?

After. After. That was like 2000. So here are the inmates. I'm just going to throw these out at you, give you your reactions. First of all, I want to know how long they spent figuring out the nicknames, like how many dinners that was. Like the virus and stuff. Cyrus of Virus.

Like what should we call? We need who's our Malcovage. What's his name? It should rhyme. Like just what the process was, I would watch a documentary. Cyrus DeVirus, played by John Malcovich. A plus. How do you describe him?

A plus. What were his crimes? Oh, he's killed more men than cancer was like the big thing. Yeah. He's done it all. That's how he started. It was unclear what his specialty was. He's just a murderer.

He said he's done it all. Kidnapping, robbery, arson. Like, it just goes. Extortion. But not rape. He hadn't raped. Not a rapist. That's good.

Diamond Dog, Ving Rames, who was kind of like a Black Panther. And Denzel Washington was going to play him. The Washington's going to play him in the movie. Probably it was like the most likable from a crime standpoint of all the guys, like the most tolerable. He had some good points. He brought up. Dave Chappelle is pinball.

Lovely. Billy Bedlam. Billy Bedlam. That's the best name of the bunch. So Billy Bedlam, who then shows up in the crew and training day, right? Yes. Yeah.

That's him. Yeah. For Billy Bedlam, they say, caught his wife at bed with another man, left her alone, drove four towns over to the, his family's house or his wife's family's house. You got to do it just like Cusack does because he does it fast right here. All right. William Bedlam Bedford caught his wife in bed with another man left her alone, drove four towns over to his wife's family house, killed her parents, her brothers, or sisters, even her dog. Even the dog. That's Bedlam. Billy Bedlam. He was a good one.

And then we have the Marietta Mangler, played by Steve Buscemi. Okay. Who shows up Hannibal Lecter style with like a whole, he's got a robot mask on, and like it was clear he's not even seen daylight in 10 years. See, those people saw silence of the lambs. They saw the mistakes that those cops made. And they were like, never again. Yeah, never again. He was effective because even the other prisoners were afraid of him.

Yeah, yeah. He's getting on the plane. When Jane Rang was nervous. Yeah. And Ving is nervous. You should be nervous. Swamp thing. He was the guy who flied the plane.

Pilot. Flew the plane, I'm sorry. Sally can't dance, who will talk, We'll talk about it in a little bit. Oof. And then Johnny 23. Played by the one, the only. The rewatchable's favorite.

Danny Trejo. Great performance. Talk the introduction to the wider consciousness. Yes. He said they call me Johnny 600 if they knew the truth. That's a lot. I don't know if Johnny 23 happens if they made this movie in 2018. No, because also you're like aware of the evil on the plane.

You don't need a serial. rapist also on the plane. Right. He's not just a serial rapist, Chris. He has flowers on his arm for each victim, which is one of the most evil things. I think that's ever just been casually thrown out in an action movie. Yeah. Because later, when it seems like he's going to go after the prison guard, he shows her the arm.

And he says, I'm going to make you, I'm going to be Johnny 24 or whatever he says. It's like, whoa, this is like too intense. Yeah. Could you tone it back? Could it be, could it just be like 24 banks you robbed or 24? What I don't understand is why he didn't have more tattoos if it's really Johnny 600. Like, why are you only giving yourself credit for the ones you got caught for? Yeah, maybe those are the on the record ones.

I don't know. We'll never know what Johnny's 600. Johnny 23. So let's go to the categories. Most rewatchable scene. I think Nick Kate, the whole rainstorm, Nick Cage killing. You like the opening? I think the whole fight it makes.

be mad every time. I don't understand he's got his lawyer as the guy from Miami Vice. And just terrible advice. Plead guilty. It'll be fine. It wasn't fine at all. They threw out the thing. He gets 10 years. Super not fine. Don't plead guilty.

Don't listen to the lawyer. Just in general. That's your advice? I would say, I'm not guilty unless you're positive. Unless he's like, I've talked to the judge. Here's what it'll be when you plead guilty. I think that you would have some sort of like agreement between the defense and the how they do it.

They wouldn't just be like, let's roll the dice when the judge gets. That's what he did, though. I know. He's like, just overruled everything. He's like, nope, that deal is out of here. The reality is Cameron Poe is kind of a dumbass. Yes. When you go through the movie, he's, first of all, just get in the car, get away from the three drunk guys in the rainstorm.

There you go. Get the fuck off the plane? Yeah, get off. You don't need to be a hero. Yeah. Oh, oh, your buddy Bubba Gump might have a diabetic seizure. The insulin. I'll see you later.

Yeah. Could look for that time that it didn't see if you have out of here. Anyway, I have Nick Cage kills the guy. Cusack's scouting report for the inmates is phenomenal. Yeah. It's really great. I love it. I wish they had flashed more graphics up and we could have seen more background with each guy.

Yeah, it should have been like six minutes long. I would have watched that forever. The cons take over the plane. Have some thoughts on that. We'll save. The put the bunny back in the box. crouch fight scene Shay, you're the fight scene expert.

Has there ever been a crouch fight scene? Where you're like, you basically have to shrink to the size of... We've had close quarter fight scenes before. Yeah. But this was the first crouch one I've seen. Usually they're mushed and tight, like in Mission Impossible when they're in the bathroom stall.

Or they're fighting in like... One guys in the front seat of the car and another guy's in the back seat, like in the raid two. But never like we're just both going to dug down. Yeah. And waddle at each other. Well, I loved it.

I have written here just for Shea. Cruzito tries to escape. Quick part for my guy. When Cruz, I just call him Cruz. I know he has a real name, but he's just a Cruz for me. His name is Cruz.

When he tries to steal the second plane and chaos and is. I like that whole bone yard sequence. I like the whole like sequence where they're like trapping those guys, like the soldiers. Yeah. And then there's the plane explosion. Yeah. I like the part before that when he's explaining everything.

Yeah. And the guy's like, what's this? It's like, that's a rock. That's a rock. My bad. And then the plane landing on the Vegas strip. Yeah, right. So I got those seven unless you want to throw anything else.

No, those are good. There's a clear winner here, though. What is the clear winner? It's Kusack. Doing the introduction. The scattering point. Yeah, that's the one. You guys don't want to go honorable mention

for the long montage of him writing letters back and forth to his daughter? I do like that. Dear Casey. Dear Casey. I do like that. Dear Casey. Dear Casey. First grade.

God versus you. I like that she sent him she sent him one letter that was like two words. Dear Daddy, are you ever coming home? It probably took four weeks for the letter to get there. Also did the wife stop writing letters at that point? It was just the daughter. Casey's writing?

Pretty like loquacious first grader. There's a lot of unintentional comedy in that scene because there's one part where there's like a prison riot is writing the letter. He's like, Dear Casey, things are getting a little crazy here. I just want to check it. Meanwhile, like mattresses are going over the balcony. I think that he rolls over and covers one ear.

Yeah, yeah, that'll make the noise go down. What do you have for the most rewatchable scene? I'm going to go to stealing the second plane. It's pretty good. Yeah, I like that whole sequence. So the defense for that one is more on intentional comedy. There's just gas and propane everywhere. Everywhere.

It's basically in a band-in airfield. Yeah. They have a propane thing that is like basically the size of the new L.A. Football Stadium and it just says propane and big letter. Arizona and the plane's going toward it. And then there's more gas. There's a gas station. Can we actually also include

Colmini's car getting crashed into the tower? Yeah, that's part of all of it. And that's what I'm going with for Best Scene. I got to go Cusag. I really like him in this role. I like when he gets to play these characters where he's like a little bit smarter than everybody else.

Like in runaway jury. Yeah. I love when he's in those positions and he gets to just like talk a bit. He seems pretty fresh. by just being in this movie, but he actually is like one of the best parts of it. Oh, easily.

We're going to talk about Cuciculator. I have the cons taking over the point. I really enjoy. I have a lot of thoughts on it. Okay. Putting the things in your hand. The needle in the hand. Yes.

I don't know how much that hurts, but I would almost love... What was that show where they reenact stuff? Mythbusters. Mythbusters. Could you have done that? Could you do a Mythbusters where you, you just have people put that in their hand.

Yeah. How do you pull it out? It's deep in there. How do you get it out once it's in? Could you push it too far? Where you're just like, you're just like glancing around. They usually have like a little button on the end and you just got to get it in there. But that was like you got to respect that move because that had to hurt a ton. That had to hurt. And then on top of it, you pull it out. There wasn't blood for some reason. And then to be able to pick the handcuffs with a pin, I've always respected.

In movies, things that happen in movies that are just, just really easy to do, apparently. Picking handcuffs with a safety pan. Lecter does that, right? Animal, yeah. Throwing the cigarette in slow motion to cause a fire or a lit lighter. Just really easy. You know what to be a good rewatchables video series is us just trying stuff like that.

I don't necessarily want to try and get out of handcuffs by burying something in my skin. But I would be curious about what happens when you throw a cigarette at gasoline. Well, it was also really super windy there because Cusack's wig. was like flying around or the whole movie. But somehow, like, people are able to light stuff. And, you know, if you have a crystal form or smoker, cigarette lighter, if it's like one mile an hour wind, you have to like put your hand over the thing. But in action movies, you throw that cigarette lighter to just the gas goes,

I really like the cons take over the plane. I enjoy every part of that. I like that Johnny 23 just stays on character. He used to be like, forget this plane thing. Yeah. And they don't care anything about free. He has to prove yet again. He's a good guy.

Yeah. He's like, I can't, I can't allow this. Nick Cage's accent is great. What would Wilford Brimley doing Nick Cage sound like this? Curcy? Wait, no. This is our new favorite bit of the Ruehachman. It actually would be better if it was Malcovic.

If it was like Malcovich just being like, love your work. I move picking Nitz up. I moved it to a much higher 67 options because there were so many things we talked about the lawyers and just all the issues with that we talked about why movie bad guys

love to antagonize military heroes never really fully understood that I really want to know once or for all whether you could pull safety pins out of your hand like that if anyone's listening I think you can it's the mailbag at the ringer.com if this is on YouTube if somebody's done this somebody should definitely try this.

By the way, do not do this because I'm telling you. We're not asking your own pod if you do this or anything. The biggest and most absurd point of this movie other than Cameron Post somehow going to jail for defending himself. A plane landing on the Vegas strip.

I've been to Vegas, I don't even know how many times in my life. The Vegas trip is always packed unless it's like five in the morning. Even then it's... It's pretty busy. Yeah. There is no way you're landing on that strip without taking out like a thousand people. I would say Vegas is the Vegas trip at 5 in the morning or 4 of the morning

is actually busier than any other place in the world at 4 in the morning. Right. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where'd you stand on that one, Che? That one didn't bother me. Have you been to Vegas? We took it to June.

I've been to Vegas twice. But I don't go out of my hotel room after 10 p.m. I assume it's quiet. It's got to be quiet. They call it the city that sleeps at 11. The city that goes to bed in time for. for Kimmel. Hey, we had to take a quick break and talk about voodoo.

You're familiar with voodoo, Shea? I am not telling me about it. A streaming service where you can watch all your favorite devices, including smart TVs, Roku, Chromecast, iPhone, Android, phone, or web. Stream over 6,000 titles for free. Choose over 150,000 titles to rent or buy in up to 4K quality. Free movies refresh monthly, never gets sold. Not a subscription service.

monthly fees, rent or buy only what you want, watch as much as you want for free. They asked us, on Voodoo, they asked me to select some movies that were available on the surface day. What did you pick? So here are the movies I picked that were on there. I was just like, oh, people should see this. True Romance, Zodiac, 6 degrees of separation, 8 men out, Saturday Night Fever, American History X, singles, Mystic Pizza, the Big Chill, Running Scared, Basic Instinct,

Kingpin. The Paul Walker running scared? No, the other one. Oh, okay. The Gregory Hyens running scared. Like the first one? Yeah. The Michael McDonald's.

Yeah. I also like the Paul Walker running scare. It's a good one. I did base against Kingpin, cruising, double jeopardy. Ashley Judd, baby. A potential rewatchable candidate next in 2019. I have a lot of thoughts on that one. And finally, uh, blood sport, which I know you have a...

I just registered right now when you said blood sport. I figured. I'm on my phone. That's when the blood went to your head. That's all you need. So you have in villains, Bloodsport may or not be involved in a villains episode on your podcast. Bloodsport was definitely, Blestport was the first one we recorded and then we ditched it. Oh, it's gone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We recorded it like as a practice one. Oh. And it didn't make it? Didn't make it? No. Charlie was on the cutting room floor? Because I screwed up too many times.

And I was like, we got to record. You could maybe bring it back around, though. Or could be like your basement tapes. You are on Earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll just do it for a rewatchable. So anyway, voodoo. Check it out.

Head over to VUDU.com slash rewatchables to sign up and start watching it today. That is VUDU.com slash rewatchables. You can watch the movies with your kids, stuff like Stuart Little, freewhelly, Pink Panther 2 Zookeeper. Bloodsport. Bloodsport. Not cruising. And check that out. There you go.

Are your kids in the Con Air Zone yet? We haven't seen Con Air yet. They can watch the TNT version. I don't like the rape angle. Yes. That's why they didn't do kickboxer. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah.

We're not ready for that. How did they handle the Johnny 23 on TNT? They let it happen. They let it happen? Yeah. There would be a moment where that where Treo is just going to be. These scenes are going to be cut dramatically. I bet.

Like 2024. Hey, what's age the best? Malcovich says the title in the movie, and he says it two different times. Also, which is one of my single favorite things. Brooke Heber movies. Yeah. Welcome to the Rock. Yes.

I love it. I love one to degree of difficulty. Almost like Brooke Hunter, he read the script. Yeah. He's reading in like the bathtub. And he's just jotting down notes. One of the notes is you didn't say the title in the movie. Yeah.

Can you work the title in? Can you add something? Nick Cage has aged the best. Nick Cage has become like a punching bag now. Right. People forget the guy wanted Oscar and he was a fucking awesome action here on the 90s. He was, I did the action era championship belt for Grantland. And Nick Cage had the belt for like two, three years.

Yeah. Yeah. And he's really especially good in this movie. Like it's, there's good acting. Well, that's because he's, he's an actor first, right? A lot of the guys from the 80s were all action guys. And then they had to act a little bit, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Seagall, you know. But Bruce Willis, Nick Cage, those guys, Mel Gibson to some extent, like, those guys

were action heroes who were actors before they were action heroes. So I think it makes a huge difference. He delivers a couple lines good, like a couple jokes. Yeah. A couple post-murder one-liners. That's the-eradles them off. Why couldn't you put the bunny back in the box? That's the like secret thing about this movie, what makes it good?

Because you've got all of this ridiculous stuff happening. But the characters are like, they're played by smart, good actors. John Cusack is great. Malkovich is great. Bing is great. Steve Busimmy is great. Nicholas Cage is great. Like, they're good actors really buying.

into the role. Malkovich is 100% evil in this movie. He believes everything he's saying. He sells it. That's why it's so good. Nick Cage's hair, I think, is age the best. This is the best year for Nick Cage's hair. It was getting thin on the back, so he had to grow it out in the,

or getting thin on the top of head to grow it on the back. There's also no explanation for it. He's got it high and tight when he gets out of the army. He starts growing it out a little bit when he goes into prison. But just like why prison, why he would be like, you know what? I'm coming up soon probably for parole. I'm going to get out. What I'm going to do is grow an outrageous muddle.

Even though I'm bettering myself in prison and learning Spanish and staying out of trouble, what I'm going to do is grow this insane morris. Because that's really what I want Casey and my wife to see when I get out. My daughter I've never seen. I look like I've been like the base tech for poison for all of the 80s.

Would you, if you were in prison for eight years, would you tell your daughter not to come see you until you get out? I'd kind of want to see my kids, give me some look forward to every week. But he was in a pretty serious. serious prison. Eh.

Because he's in the same prison as Billy. Right? Yeah. He's in a different cell block. Wait, yeah. I'm here eight years. I got nothing to do. My kids are coming two weeks from Saturday.

Now I'm still looking forward to. It just depends on what kind of prisoner you want to be, man. It's a little too unselfish. Do you want to try and blend in and not get in any trouble and not do anything? Or do you want to, like, run the block? Do you want to be like, I'm like blood in, blood out? Like, nothing happens without my say-so. Well, he was keeping the low profile, but I still want to see what my daughter looks like.

My kids are going to have to make that trip. Yeah, make that trip. Sorry, this is where dad is. I'm getting out soon. It'll be great. Chappelle has aged incredibly well in this movie. And a lot more racially charged humor in this movie that I remember. Yeah.

And Chappelle does a lot of it, but it is fucking funny. Yeah, I kind of forgotten the racially charged. Yeah. I don't even know if racially charged is the right phrase. No, it's racist. Yeah, it's like with racist. It's racist. It's just like with my touch there.

Yeah, there's a couple lines Like, whoa, hey. With the like wounded knee thing. Yeah. Yeah. And then like a lot of people calling each other Negro. Yeah, that was weird. Yeah.

Here's another thing that's aged the best. Sy! Anada. He had prepared for that. So good. He's like, I just need someone to call me sigh one time. Just one time. He's just walking around.

I'm going to kill somebody. They say my name on doing this. And then finally, this really should have been most rewatchable scene. Bouchemmy and Cage, the whole, he comes back up after killing the guy in the bottom. Yeah, yes.

Can we just play this clip? What if I told you insane was working 50 hours a week in some office for 50 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off? Ending up in some retirement village, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time. Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

Bouchemie just goes to nine other levels. He does both murders are a crime of necessity rather than desire. I'm like, this guy would give the greatest TED talk of all times. Can we just hear him? He was really selling that lifestyle. Every time I'm watching a movie and somebody makes fun of somebody for having a job, it kind of hurts my feelings a little bit. I should be, I need to be more of a rebel.

It happened when I watched Heat is when they like, you got a regular type of life. I was like, that sounds fantastic. Yeah. Neil says that. You're going to go to ball games? Yeah. So what age the best and what did I miss?

Anything else? What age the best for you, Chris Ryan? Just the 90s program? Malcovich age the best for me because it's like on this run of him doing a couple of villains like in the line of fire. Yeah. And he's just really in the pocket with being the heavy. He's super funny, but he's also really smart and kind of scary in each movie. And he just really knows like exactly how far to go.

And it's such a great period of time for action movies because before they were so high concept and they were so. like everybody had to be jacked up, looking like Jose Canseco and beating the shit out of each other. But then they were like, you know what? We could probably just get these guys who were like incredible drama actors

and they'll elevate this somewhat stupid material anyway and they probably cost a little bit less money than some of these action guys who were making however many million per picture. So it's really a great performance. Well, it started with Die Hard with Alan Rickman, which we talked about when we did the diehard pod and then led to all of a sudden

John Lithgow and Malcovich and like real actor is going for these. Is this the first role you think of when you think of John Malkovich? I think of in the line of fire. It's weird. For some reason, I go to Dangerous Liaisons. Yeah.

I thought he was, like, throwing 110 in that movie. For me, it's Teddy KGB. Yeah, that's good, too. Conair is right underneath it. Like, he's those two people in the movie. What's cool about Malkovich is he looks pretty much the same in every movie, but has all these different characters

that feel different. Yeah. Like, he does have the... that in the line of fire and Conner. He like does all those disguises too. He like gains weight, loses weight, puts those fake teeth in and stuff.

But like in the killing fields, that character is not like any of the other characters he plays. Did you see him in Mile 22? Yeah. Do you want to talk about Mile 22? I want to talk about Mile 22 one day, yes. Thumbs up or thumbs down? Thumbs up, but...

With some reservations. With some reservations, yeah. Incredible way. the best for me is Nick Cage just in general. Are we done picking nits? We didn't have any one. Yeah, you only had two.

You were like, I have 67 of these and you did like one. I keep picking nits. What other nits do you have? I'm not clear. I mean, the whole movie is a nitpick. Yeah, but let's just talk briefly about dividing up operational priorities

within this sort of like the criminals, the sort of the cop side of it, right? So you've got like the DEA guy, Colomini, who's driving to sports. car and he's throwing his weight around. And then you got the U.S. Marshals guy. Yeah. And that's QZAC.

But then the military gets involved, pretty much, I think, because they've got, like, these Black Hawk helicopters chasing down the jailbird. And then you've got, like, the army involved when they finally get to the air base. It's really unclear, like, who is actually in charge of this, like, pursuit at various points? Everybody. Yeah, everybody. You would think it would have been better figured out considering, like, 20 terrible

criminals around this plane. Yeah. They had some time. I don't understand where they were all going. I mean, like, I know they were going to the... They're being transported to somewhere. So, like, a super prison, right? But, like... They were all going to, like, a new Supermax prison that was supposed to hold the worst, the worst. But then, you mean

where they were going when the cartel guy was going to get them? No, no, no, no. Like, why are the other non-terrible people on there? Well, I'll tell you what, also, the jailbird, no disrespect. It doesn't seem like a very sturdy crap. That's an old plane, right? It's like an old piece of World War II. They're like, let's just put the most dangerous guys in the world on this plane. I like how you said no disrespect.

Like, it was going to hurt my feelings. I don't understand the, so this is one of my nitpicks. Like, why do we not have a person with a gun on the plane? Well, we did. No, but like sit there, hold your gun. Not like a secret thing or in a lockbox or under the plane. There should be a person up on the little platform with the fucking rifle just in case. That's all you need.

Everybody gets their safety. I was going to do this for what's age or worse, but the guy they picked to have secretly armed with the gun basically pulled Afredo Corleone and just completely fell apart immediately. Yeah.

He did the Nathan Peterman. The DEA agent? Yeah, he was bad. He grabbed the user. He was put down! He's like sweating. He just seemed like so not in control. That's also from a time period

of like post-Miamy vice where like criminals really hate DEA agents. Yeah. It's the fucking DEA. scumbags. And you're just like, man, you guys hate these guys. Any other nipicks? No, those are the main ones.

I was curious about why don't we have a person with a gun shooting everybody when we need to. Would have made sense. Or why aren't the pilots, why isn't it like impossible to get to the cockpit? Just like knocking the door and going. What's age the worst? Mentioned the Marshall.

The Sally can't dance character is rough. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's not great. It probably would have cut that one. I got to say, even in the late 90s, that wasn't great. No. It wasn't like in 1997, we were going, you know, that character's good. It was just not good.

It's super awkward. It's weird. Another what's age the worst. How did they get rid of Chappelle at 43 minutes? You know, I was going to say actually as a nitpick, I'm not sure that that ends even as well as it does. Like, throwing a guy out of a plane at 20,000 feet is going to cause a little bit more damage. damage than what they... He should have like burst, right?

Like a water balloon. Yeah, he would have been like grotesque. He would have gone like seven feet deep into the concrete. Yeah. Yeah. He, you don't think he was just laying on a car. Yeah,

land on the Volvo and it's like, oh, everyone's waxing. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good nipic. I just was a... Chappelle really could have helped the last two-thirds of this movie. Like, just get rid of somebody else. Keep pinball.

You need the funny guy in there. I only had him for like three days. And he did like all his own dialogue, right? Like, he just came up with all his own dialogue, right? I don't think they knew what they had with Chappelle, would be my guess. This hurts, but Kusack's hair, we got to talk about it. Is it bad? It's bad.

It's the first time, his hair was kind of going back as the 90s went along. Him and Piven. And then he showed up in the, yeah, him and Piven, which is ironic because they're best friends. He showed up for this movie with this flowing mane. And there's a couple scenes when he's driving in the convertible and you just see it's like this. It's moving like Trump. Huge Trump wig, like flying around. Yeah.

It's just tough. You guys like Kusack more than I did in this movie. I love Kusak. This is also like right on Gross Point Blank. Like he's, yeah, I'm a big Kusk fan. Yeah. I feel like he.

There's something about him. In this movie, seems like it's beneath him the whole time. There's this undertone of, I can't believe my fucking agent told me to do this. They almost seem like they write it. Like, because I know that Rosenberg wrote parts for,

I think Kuzak and Bishemi. Yeah. And he was like wrote with those guys in mind. And like the whole thing is like, Colmini is like loquacious. What? What does that mean? They're all idiots compared to him?

I like him. I like him because he's the only person in the movie who I can look at and be like, oh, I could, that could have been me. Yeah, he's got the sandals on. He looks like a, everybody else was like a superhero. Here's another thing that's aged the worst. The gregarious and hilarious prison guard on the plane. Yes.

This guy who's almost like, he's like David Tell. Yeah. And one of the things he says is, my, my, as I look around, I see a lot of celebrities among us. I see 11 current affairs. two hard copies and a genuine Haraldo interviewee. All of those shows are long gone.

That hasn't aged well. And then the one part, if we can get this clip, it would be great, but I'll just happy to just do it here where he says, somebody says, there ain't no God, he doesn't exist. And Nick Hage says, I'm going to show you God does exist. And then there's immediately this cheesy 80 guitar solo.

It's like, bleak. It's so bad. That was Bubble Gump who tells him that. Oh, yeah, that part's bad. And then he walks through a gunshot. Just gets shot, doesn't even flinch. Boom, right in his left arm. And he's like, nope.

I got to say that I think that the insulin subplot has really aged poorly. Yeah. Just as like, do we actually need him having diabetic shock the entire movie? Well, it's really the only way to keep him on the plane, right? But why does he have to be on the plane? All he needs to do is be like, I can't leave the plane without Rachel Taccaten because she's going to go jump. jumped by Johnny 23. So he's just like this entire time,

Michael T. Williamson, who I really like, is just like, I need my insulin. I need my insulin. I like when he shouts, hey, man, get off my insulin during the riot. Yeah. Yeah. Another guy is on fire.

He's like, my insulin! But it does lead to maybe my secret favorite moment in the movie, which is when Michael T. Williamson gets shot, Nicholas Cage is just like, Jesus, me! This is going to be a really dumb question, and I'm just going to say it. But when I was watching this movie the first time as a kid, and I still kind of wondered this now, they didn't have a syringe to put the insulin in a guy.

Like, okay, I know you can't do this. You can't like just drink it? Yeah, that's what it was going to be. In a jam, I don't know. I mean, blood sugar is a weird thing. I don't know how that works, but. I don't know either. Somebody please answer that.

Anyone out there listening, maybe tell us if you can do that. Casting what ifs. Oh, and the other thing that. What's Age the Worst, Johnny 23? Although you could argue that was aging badly even as the movie was coming out. Casting What Ifs. Gary Oldman was the first choice to play Cyrus the Virus. No thanks.

Yeah, I'm glad that works out the way it did. Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Sheen and Matthew Broderick were considered for the parts of Vince Larkin, John Cusack's character. Because that was right when Robert Downey was trying to get the career rehab thing going, so he wound up in like U.S. Marshals a little bit after that. Robert Downey could have done it. I got to say it's a better movie with Robert Downey. Jr.

He could. No, I disagree. He does a better. I disagree. He does a better job. I don't think that's true. You guys are wrong? I don't think that's true.

No. Because Robert Downa Jr. R. DJ, man. 30% too cool for this role. He's got to be a little bit nerdy. So like when the hand shaking, when he's got the gun on camera, poe, you don't think Downey Jr. sells that.

Yeah, exactly. I need that. I hear you. I will take Downy. I don't love John Cusack. Okay. I liked him in the 80s, liked them all the way through saying anything. then kind of turned on him.

And I felt like, I didn't like that he felt like like Conair was beneath him. I could feel it in his eyes. You think you're better than me, Jacques, Cuse? Better than me?

I like this movie, Jack Cuse. And then, Tim Roth was the first choice for the part of the Marietta Mangler. Thank God that didn't work out. Oh my God, really. So you usually dip it into the reservoir dogs. Yeah, Jesus.

Ensemble there. Uh-huh. Deanne Waiter's a word. I mean, it's Chappelleau Bresemi. I don't, know if Bouchemey was in enough of this movie. I think he probably does qualify, but

I don't know if there's anyone else you put in. I think you can make an argument for Swant thing. He does a nice job. He's kind of funny. He's like a little charming. I feel like he's definitely wildly racist. Like he's that prisoner. He was in the Aryan

Brotherhood. Yeah. But he's like, I would hang out with him. So who'd you pick? For the heat check? Oh, it's Chappelle. I thought Chappelle is great. Chappelle's incredible. It's like a nothing party, isn't it? He's really No role in the movie. Department of Erections. Yeah.

The reason you can't pick Chappelle is because of the racism stuff. He didn't do it though. I guess he did the one. Yeah, he did the one. Yeah. So, I don't know. I still pick him.

Okay. Halfass internet research. Kid Rock based American badass on Cameron Poe. That's exactly what it is. That's true. That's exactly what it is. He's the human version of that song. Nick Cage did most of his own stunts.

He said, there are explosions five feet behind me, flaming helicopters, dropping right behind me, ball bearing bullets over my head. So there was a level of intensity, fear, you might say. It's kind of like my Andrew Lack.

That's a good. Yeah, it's like Andrew Lack Cross with Nick Cage. How many people died in this movie, Chase Serrano? 24. 43. Oof. Yeah, because all those guys died at the bone yard.

I think you can make a case. You can make a case like another 500 people died in Vegas. There's also just like when that happened at the end of the the movie and they're like fist bumping at the Vegas strip and they're like yeah man I got a body shop for your car it's like you guys just lost like 50 American soldiers in the desert you wouldn't be like fist bumping about

Cole Meadie's convertible yeah um Wendover Airport in Utah was the stand in for the fictional learner airfield so fictional airfield that has a lot of propane conair's climactic plane crash was

originally intended to take place at the White House Is it really? Yeah. It could have just gone right into Olympus's fallen. Brookheimer eventually decided Las Vegas was born keeping with the spirit of the film. Good call. No shit, Jerry.

Thanks. Good call, Jerry. The TV version includes a scene during the opening credits where Nicholas Cage is in prison writing letters to his daughter, which is also in the movie version. It shows a prison riot, but then Cage's diabetic friend saves him from the burning cell. Oh. Okay. So there you go. So they didn't give us the whole scene on that scene.

So that's why he's loyal to that guy. That's why he's got to save him. Guess what? The movie's two hours. I would have included the scene. Uh, yeah. I think it's a little fat at the end. So I don't know if you need more stuff in color.

How about less letters to the daughter, more being saved from a burning cell? Less insulin and less letters. Yeah, more prison riots. I wish, this is a thing watching and I wish that had happened. I wish we had gotten, I want to. I want a Cameron Poe in prison. If he's in there for eight years, give me that movie. Just that alone.

A prequel. And before that, a prequel to the prequel, I want to see Cameron Poe in the Army Rangers. I want to see that story. I want to see him in the war. So is that Powers Booth doing the voiceover in the beginning we were talking about like how great the Rangers are? I think it is.

That would be great. A Cameron Poe prequel. Also. With Powers Booth? Yeah, with Powers Booth. And not to nitpick. I would just say that what is the likelihood that Monica Potter sticks around for Nicholas Cage.

He does like, however many years he does in the Army. And it sounds like before that, he was kind of a fuck-up because she's like, I thought you went into the Army to, like, grow up a little bit. Yeah. So she's in the Army, and then the night he gets back from the Army, he goes to prison. The night. Yeah. And he shows up on a boat.

What's the likelihood that she's just like, I'm just going to throw 11 years away? I think she's married to a realtor in her area by like year four. Yeah. And she's like, sorry. Yeah. Casey's got a new dad. Maybe that should have been con air. too is Cameron Poe killing the new real estate guy.

He's a realtor and mobile. The crash site was filmed at the Sands Hotel before its demolition in November 96. And what's interesting is they called the Sands. They were like, you're demolishing this thing anyway. Can you wait a couple weeks? Because we want to film this crazy action scene. And Sands Hotel's like, sure, how much money? And they did it.

And they actually, that's how it went. somebody who was crushed to death at Wendover during the filming at the airport. Like a real person? A static model of the C-123s in the film fell on him and that's why the film's credits end with in memory of Phil Schwartz. That sucks.

That's super sucks. Bummer. They chose Trisha Yearwood's version of the song over Leanne Rhym's who was 14 at the time. She had the original song, then they weren't 100% sold on it, did Trisha Yearwood, and it became a massive massive,

massive set. Yeah, huge. True or false, John Malkovich was unhappy during production because the script was being rewritten virtually every day

and he had no idea how his character was going to turn out. It reflects in the performance. He seems a little bit disturbed. He's angry. Yeah. They're like, hey, John,

can you add, Lib? So he's going to say sigh and you just quickly say Anara and walk away. He's like, oh, Jesus Christ, we're changing this again. All right, I'm going to give you these two things.

You tell me which one you believe. Both of these are in the internet, and they completely contradict each other. Okay. Tidbit A. John Kusack allegedly dislikes this film so much that he refuses to be interviewed about it. He's been in a lot of shitty movies,

so that would be pretty crazy if this is the one he's like, I won't talk about con air. Right. Tidbit B in 2012, and I did read this link, Kusack told the BBC News website that making a second conair film, quote, would be fun. Quote, I'll do it.

But no one's offered it to me. Simon West said that he thought that if they did another con air, it should be set in space. Space con air? Yeah. Con space? Yeah. Space. Yeah.

Con shuttle. Con shuttle. They have to put the prisoners on Mars. Yeah. That's a good place to put prisoners, I suppose. I'm in. I just greenlit it. We don't run a studio, but I greenlit it anyway.

On the DVD commentary of Chappelle show, Chappelle said they. he improvised most of his lines on Connor. So there you go. Apex Mountain. I only have three people on here unless you want to throw Bishemi on here. Okay. Oh, fuck it. Let's do it him too.

Nick Hay, JPEX Mountain? Yeah, oh, by far. Is this the peak of his career? Because now he's combined. Is this right here the peak of his career? I think it's the rock, but you could make the argument that this is it. Yeah. I would say this because it made like over 200 million bucks.

Do you guys like this or the rock more? This is so much better. Really? Wow. So much better than the rock. Because it's not as quote unquote serious. I don't like Sean Connery. Connery's not that good in the Rock. It's like 30 Secret.

No. She and I have discussed it in the past. Really? Yeah. He's not that good. Just watch the Rock. Connery's not that good in it. Well, he's like an old man.

He's like, he's like, humming around like just doing Scottish accent. I mean, like. Great. That doesn't sound fun. Yeah. Okay.

He's an old man trying to do a Scottish accent. No, not trying to do. He's just like talking in a Scottish accent. He's like he's running around Alcatraz. Yeah. He's bad in that movie. I don't like it. Ed Harris is incredible in that movie.

He is. Connery kills it. He's really good. I cannot give that order. That's a great, great scene. But the thing about The Rock is, if they had never done anything at all and just let the soldiers go, like, nobody would have died. Ed Harris was going to shut it down anyway. Right.

They should have called his bluff. Right. So you don't like the premise of The Rock as much. I just don't like, I'm not a big Sean Connery fan. Okay. I like prison movies. I need as much prison as possible. Yeah.

I like when Nick Cage is like. big and beefy. He's a nerd in the rock. He's a chemical super freaks. He was miscast in the rock. I don't want that. He's fine in it. It's a good movie.

But this is a Nick Cage movie. This is the one. For me, this was like he wins the Oscar. He's for years and years. It's like Nick Cage. He's going to be a big actor. He's going to be a big actor. And he had some good ones.

Nothing great. Never really happened. You know. And then he wins the Oscar. And then he makes the rock. And it's like, all right. But then he makes the rock. con air and it's like all right this guy is a major star he's going for stardom this was this was when

i was like oh nick cage is in our life for the long haul yes which turned out to be kind of wrong because about five years later it was over yeah he started making weird movies it's interesting i wonder what it would have been like i wonder what of this generation of guys that we have now who would have been a good action star because it's kind of all twisted up because they just put on superhero either superhero clothing or like an iron man's case like a a metal suit so you don't really get that same action movie star that you used to in the 80s and 90s? You know who's in this movie now.

Who's the Helmsworth from Rush? Chris. Right? Yeah, it's Chris Helmsworth. He's kind of. Craig's nodding. Chris Hemsworth plays Cameron Poe? Yeah.

And who plays Vince? He plays Cameron Poe, but he tries to do a Southern accent and it goes badly. And about 30 minutes in the movie, just somehow the character is Australian. Who is that? Which is it?

Do you have like, Miles Teller play Vince. Oh, that's interesting. Miles Teller, huh? Not Lucas Hedges? That would be hilarious. Salome? They're a little young to be U.S. Marshals.

How about Shalame? You need older. Who is the Malchavich? Army. It's just the common by your name cast, but now it's cut air. That's a great question. Who should play Malcovich? It's a tough one.

Who would play Cyrus? Jeremy Strong from Succession. Apex Mountain, Nick Cage, I vote yes. Chris votes now? No, I'm going to allow it. Trey. Trey? No, he, no. What's his Apex Mountain then?

For his career or just like... First career. For his career. Probably Trey was tacos. What was the peak of Treyo? It's machete. Yeah, you're right. I think it's right now now that he's like a brand.

He has like all these businesses now. Yeah, he does. I think when he's, we gave him a category in the rewatchables. That's probably it. That's what it took off. No, I think you're right. I think it's probably...

It's not McQuish. It's like dangerous liaison in Sarah. Yeah. And Bouchemmy. No, this isn't his... No way. His apex. All right.

But he can be in there. That's one of the great things about this movie is it's just it caught a lot of people, but not at their apex. They were just all really good at what they were doing, right? Yeah. The Joey Pants Award presented to the actor or actress that makes She'd go, oh, that guy or oh, that girl. But you can't remember what their name is.

There's a couple nominees, Cruzito. I know his name, though. So he's out for me. MC Gaines is Swamp Thing. I bet you didn't know that it was MC Gaines. No, I did. I don't know who MC Gaines is. I just know it was Swamp thing.

Was he in the American Badass video? He looks like he would be in that video. He might have been. I don't know. I re-watched it for this thing. and I like Kid Rock at that time. Yeah. And then I watched it.

There's like a bunch of Confederate flags in there. And I was like, oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool. I don't remember that. Yeah. They show one real fast. And then there's like another guy wearing a shirt. And it's like, then it becomes prominently featured.

And you're like, wait a second. I don't remember this part. Rachel Tickatin. Ticketin. Ticketin. Or is, I think it's Ticotin. Ticotin. The garden?

I personally do not think she's a that girl because she's, I know her as her. because of Total Recall and Man on Fire and this movie, I feel like that's enough of a body of your work. Some people might not know this. But the winner is... Kind of a patron saint for the rewatchables by being a Man on Fire and this. I mean, she's fantastic.

Actually, wanted a little more for her career. Yeah. Always liked her. She's good in Fisher King. And that's Mercedes Rule. I'm sorry. See, this is why she needed better stuff. The winner, though, is Renali San Diego, who I texted to her.

earlier. He's really only been in two movies. He was in this movie as the controversial Sally Can't Dance character. Right. But more importantly, was the guy from Dangerous Minds. Yes. The little guy who ends up winning the class prize. He feuds with, what's the guy's name?

Emilio. Emilio. And then has the one-on-one date with Michelle Pfeiffer. That's really a weird scene. Yes. Where the other two don't show up and they have like a whole date and he buys a jacket for it. But yeah, that guy. Yeah, a little guy.

I'm voting Monica Potter. No, she's Monica Potter. Is she? Yeah. Because she did, she's in the Prefontein movie. She was in Parenthood. Yeah. I think she's Patch Adams.

She's in Patch Adams. She's in a ton of stuff. I think people know she's Monica Potter, though. But you didn't know what Rinali San Diego's name was. I didn't know what her name was either. I just, I saw Patch Adams like a couple weeks ago and I was like, oh, that's the woman from Conner. Holy shit.

I had no idea. What do you think, Chris? I'm going to go Potter. See? Boom. Wow. I like Potter. Boom.

To your earlier point about her not sticking around with Cage. Yeah. This is a general rule that I have. I feel like you have to stay with somebody who goes to prison as long as their sentence is shorter than the time that you've known them. Like you've got to stand up for that person. Oh. Because you think that you just owe it to them or because you owe it to them or because it? It would be dangerous to leave them

and have them be able to get out that fast. No, no, no, you all too. Like, if Laramie went to prison, like she could eat like a manslaughter charge and do 15 and I'd have to stick around. But like if one of my kids went, he can only commit like aggravated assault. Because then you turn your back on the kid?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I'm like, I'm not going to stick around for you. It's only as long as you've known this person. That's good. You guys are good for about four years. If you get locked up and you're going to start a new thing, but it's in five years, and be like, I got a gold bail.

Four years I got you. Five years. It's good to know. Craig, keep that of mind for when you fall in over somebody. Pretty long time. Oh, it's great. It's a little guy that, Craig. The Saul Rubenek.

They knew! This is so easy. I don't think we've ever had an easier winner ever. You know who the winner is. Who the winner of this one is? Yeah, there's a lot of candidates. No, there's only one candidate. Who is it?

Kohn-mini. Kohn-mini. Is it Colm or Colin? I think it's Colm. He is awful in this movie, and he dials it up to insane levels. But every scene he's in, he overpowers everybody. In one scene, Cusack overacts the overactor. When they're flying behind the plane and the helicopters,

and Cusack's like, he's a friend. He's just trying to get home to see his wife and kids. Don't fire. And the guy. I was like, don't fire. He is terrible. And he's, I think he was in mystery Alaska and he was terrible in that too. Yeah, I think it's just like, he's just out of his comfort zone here.

He's just everything he's down and up to like 10 out of 10. Not great. The QSack scene is bad. Who else would you have for the overacting? There's some good overacting in this movie. I think that, gosh, who would I put in there? I got to be honest, Treo kind of dials it up a little bit. He does.

It's the most animated he's ever been. He goes for it. He really tries to be evil on this. He goes for it. Can we nominate the soundtrack? Oh, yeah, because it never stops. I would like to nominate the soundtrack. It's doing the most.

I like that one. Would this movie have been better off with Danny Trao, Steve Buschemy, or Michael K. Williams? I guess Michael K. Williams wins by default. Or no, because it's got two of the three. And we wouldn't want to add it. Like, you know, we don't need to add anymore. Yeah, Michael K.

Kaye Williams could have been on the plane. Oh, sure. Does he play another prisoner or is he taking someone's role? He could be Osiris in your new version. Ooh. He would be, I want to see that. Miles Teller. Michael Kay Williams and Michael K. Williams and the Conair reboot.

I think he's whatever the politically correct version of 2018, Johnny 23 is. Michael K. Williams. So he's like a Bitcoin guy? He's an arsonist. He's a blockchain. He's an arsonist. Best quote, put the bunny back in the box. Boom.

Define irony, a bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song by a band that died in a car crash. Sorry, boss, there's only two men I trust. One of them's me, the other's not you. I vote for that one because it sounds like something Chez Serrano has said in his life. I have, I feel like you have said that to another human being. I've said that to several people. Sorry, boss. There's only two men I trust.

One of them is me. The other's not you. How many people do you trust? your life. Am I one of those people? I trust... I'm like QSack at the end of the movie, where I've won you over. When we first met, I didn't trust you. But now I'm like, this guy's going to burn me. And then now I'm like, all right, you're one of the guys, Bill. I like Cyrus saying...

Well, it's not difficult to surmise how Nathan here feels about killing guards. And my own proclivities are well-known and often lamented facts of penal lore. Yeah, that was great. His dialogue is really good in this movie. I'm upset that he was upset during the movie. movie about some of the, whatever. There's some great quotes to this movie. Probably unanswerable questions. This is one of my favorite ones I've ever asked.

Okay. Did they name this movie Conair before or after they wrote the script? No, before. What are you talking about? Before, this is the pitch. Yeah. It's Con Air is the pitch. And they're like, great, you can make it.

And he's like, you've got to go write this script. The pitch is Con Air, right? And that's it. Yeah. Okay. This is how it happened. Somebody was like taking a shower. he's washing his hair.

He sees a con air bottle. And he's like, oh, that sounds like a thing. It sounds like a flying prison. And then he's like, oh, shit, that's a flying prison. How many people actually died when they landed on the strip? Like in real life, how many people die? It's 580s. Hundreds.

That's grizzly. That's a grizzly question. 250. Easy. Would Nick Cage really care about saving Babyo in the female prison guard this much when he could just get off the plane and be with his wife and daughter. Redemption. I guess he's like he's redeeming himself. He's a good guy.

I don't think so. I don't think he worries about it. He should have got off and then just like made a fuss. In real life, wouldn't they have shot the plane down in the first five minutes? Yes. Yeah. Especially, yeah. In fact, Cole Minnie, Colin Minnie, Cole Minnie, Cole Minnie, him deciding not to shoot the plane

down before the lands on the Vegas strip is a fireball defense. Yeah, exactly. He goes to trial for that. Hopefully doesn't get the same judge as camera. He has the same lawyer who's just like, just take the guilty plea. You'll be fine. William Bedford, Bedford, who killed everybody in his wife's family, including the dog, did the wife live?

Did he go back and get the wife? No, she lived. So he wanted her to live with the pain of having her whole family wiped out. You did this. Another possible. Heartbreak, bitch. Another possible prequel or post-quil or sequel. This is.

William Bedlam Bedford's wife. Nathan Jones, aka Diamond Dog, former general of the black gorillas, wrote a book in prison called Reflections in a Diamond Eye. Bestseller. A wake-up call for the black community. According to the New York Times, they're talking to Denzel for the movie.

Could this just be a movie? Could Denzel be in Diamond Dog? I almost wonder whether or not they asked it was already in this movie. It's good point. I thought that might have been like a joke where they asked Denzel to play the Ving Rames role and he turned it down.

Because like the way Cusack says that, it's kind of like, it's kind of like a little bit of a shot at Denzel. Like they had told him, he should take this role, Denzel's going to be Diamond Dog. Yeah, right. And then he wasn't.

He's a little saucy when he says that line. Denzel would have been great in this. I've got to say, like, not completely unrealistic. He's never really been kind of a sidekick in a movie in the last 25 years. But Nick Cage coming off an Oscar, Cusack, Malcovich.

Now you get Denzel. Denzel would have to play Cyrus. You think? Yeah. Ooh, that would have been good. Yeah. Denzel wouldn't have done Diamond Dog, but he could have played. So he plays him as the training day cop basically?

Yeah. It's a different movie. Yeah. Different vibe. Who won the movie, Shea? It's only one answer to this. It's got to be Nick. It's Nick.

It's like a legacy defining role for Nick Cage. This was it. This was like, I'm going to be the biggest star on planet Earth right now. Kid Rock's a raise song about this. Kid Rock is going to be Confederate flags. it's going to be awkward in 20 years. Yeah. It's got to be Nicholas Cage.

I don't know who else it could be. So here's the case for Bishemi. Okay. Oh, my God. Just the case. The case for the guy with four lines. Hit me with it. He's so good in this movie that they clearly added the scene at the end

where it turns out he's playing craps, which tells me that he tested through the roof. And Bruckheimer's like, we got to get Bushemi back for one more scene. Like maybe one, maybe there's a sequel here. By the way, why wasn't there a sequel here? What do we have to do? You could have just gotten five or six new convicts. You know what you mean?

The Marietta Mangler? Yeah. Now they're trying to find them? You could make this movie every two years with new prisoners and do the exact same thing. Yeah. Introduce them all the exact same way. The answer is Nick Cage. Nick Cage, this is, I actually think this is my favorite Nick Cage performance.

It is. It absolutely is. And the one time he really put everything, all the pieces together. He was a talented guy. Yeah. The white tank top tucked into the dad jeans with the mullet. He was rocking it. Some great letters, he wrote.

Some amazing, amazing father. Dear Casey. Good lines. I'm going to bring you a bunny. Hopefully, Mom, it kept you going to first grade. Secretly kind of funny. So is this an action movie first bad hall of fame for you? Easily.

Easily. It's not Mount Rushmore, is it? No, you can't put it on. I mean, if we get four spots for Mount Rushmore, you automatically know two of them are, they have to be diehard and predator. So now everybody's fighting for the last two. You're looking for like,

you're looking for genre shifting movies. And I don't know that this one did that. Really, we went from this to face off and that was the closest version of it, but it's too close. We didn't get a lot of this. I had to think about action Mount Rushmore. Yeah.

I'll tell you, Taken might be up there. You can put Taken on there because taken started the whole, like an older actor, action movie hero can do anything thing. Because that's what happens when you sit behind a desk, Shea, you get soft. You forget to the chick that's weight of a gun. So then you've only got one spot left. I don't know if you can give it to Connor. I'm not positive on, I'm with you on Predator.

No? I'd have to make my, no, as a Mount Rushmore? It's pretty dated. Special effects are just bad. No, the special effects are pretty good, man. They're pretty realistic. From 86? Yes.

The video game bad monster vision. The lasers are good. The predators good. The sound is good. The soundtrack. All of the... Bill Duke. Jesse Ventura.

Some great body oil in that body-old biceps. A lot of testosterone in that movie. If you want to knock it off, you can do it. You can make a case against Schwarzenegger's whole body of work. After all the allegations and stuff, you could be like, we're just automatically disqualifying him. You could do that. I still enjoy those movies. Okay.

But I miss Arnold. Predators is an important movie in that role. Like in that conversation. I never thought of it as a Mount Rushmore one. Yeah. Conair. Beautiful movie. That was as fun as I thought it was going to be.

Chris Ryan Chase around. Thank you. We're coming back with one more next week. We're doing Tombstone. We're going to be putting up right before Christmas. We will see you then. We'll be watching us.