The Rewatchables - ‘Fast Five’ With Bill Simmons and Shea Serrano

Episode Date: April 1, 2019

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and Shea Serrano reunite with Dom and Brian on the streets of Brazil to rewatch the 2011 action hit ‘Fast Five’ starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Dwayne Johnson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Coming up, we are going to do Fast 5 with Shea Serrana. Here we go. Has it feel to be on the other side of a wanted poster? Fast five coming up right now. The men were after are professional runners. Don't ever let them get into cars. We just jumped to the top of the wanted list. We got to keep running.

Running ain't freedom. You're going down, Toronto. Big mistake. All right, Chase Serrano is here. He's actually on the phone. We know this movie so well. We know each other so well. worried about not doing this in person. We can do this anywhere. We could do this

dangling from a helicopter. It doesn't matter. This is the greatest movie. I think of all time. Is it the greatest movie of all time, Jason Rana? Every time I watch it, that's what I come out of it feeling is that this is definitely the greatest movie I've ever seen. I just wouldn't change a thing. I really wouldn't. It's just a tour to force from beginning to the middle to the end. It's perfect. The Rock's Edition is perfect. Everything about it is it's age perfectly. I loved it when I saw it. I like it every time it's on. I jump into different scenes. It's really everything I've ever wanted from an action movie. So let's start here. One of Hollywood's greatest reinvention movies ever, right? So explain to America where the fast franchise was from one through four and then what happened in this movie.

Okay, so one through four, the first Fast and the Furious movie, we're going to build this all out. That's the skeleton for everything that came after it. Too Fast, Too Furious, that's part two, which is a great title, of course. Too Fast, Too Furious. That introduces the idea of Brian teaming up with somebody else to defeat somebody that he can't defeat by himself. Yeah. Tokyo Drift, Part 3, that makes the game international. Fasten the Furious, excuse me, Fasten the Furious brings Dom back.

because Dom wasn't in two or three. But it brings Dom back, and it takes all three of those ideas, and it turns the volume up on everything. And then Fast Five comes, and it's like the crystallization of every great part of those first four movies is what Fast Five serves as. It's like the catalyst for six and then for seven. Fast Five is the one where they just made everything possible after that.

There was nothing you couldn't do after Fast Five. It's the one where they knocked out the roof of the, house and just said, what if there's no roof? What if we take this premise and we remove all the limitations of it? Because really the first four, the first four are car movies. Ultimately, the DNA of the movie is, all four of them are, it's people racing. It's street racing culture and variations of things off that theme, but the cars are always the center of it. This is a fast five is a heist movie. and they blow up not only the locations, but just the parameters of what we thought the series was.

And sometimes that could be a dangerous thing to just say, all right, we're reinventing this, we're making this way bigger, and we're kind of changing what you thought this was. But in this case, it was brilliant, and it was kind of by design, because when Vin Diesel came back, they basically saw this as a trilogy,

four, five, and six. They knew they were going to make three movies, and they knew it needed to be bigger than racing and just cars and all the stuff we loved about Fast One, which we did a rewatchable was about, by the way. But I think that it succeeded like it did and it worked as well as it did is just really hard to pull off.

This probably shouldn't have worked, like I would say even 60% as well as it did. What's the biggest surprise for you when you rewatch this movie that just, how did that work? The biggest surprise is that it turned this into a legitimate movie franchise. When you got to part four, it was like, I don't know, I don't know, guys. We might need to pull the plug on this. It was still fun.

It was great to see Dom back. We had that. That's where we got the Dom versus Brian fight when Dom calls the last number that Letty called because he thinks that she's dead and it calls Brian's phone and he fucking flips out. Yeah. Like we had some big, some big important. moments in there, but it didn't feel like it was going to do anything new, didn't feel like there was going to be something we hadn't seen before. And then you get to Fast 5, and it just becomes this

global, like it's a global heist movie with the introduction of the Rock, who is so important to the franchise, we needed that character in there. It just all feels incredible when you watch it. It's a legitimate good movie. There's like no joke here. It's not like a ha-ha, like a roadhouse type of situation. This is a fucking good movie to watch. It's a really good movie that also manages to keep a couple things that I love about the franchise in general, namely the unintentional comedy. It's still, we'll get to a couple of the scenes later, but it never forgets who it is. It never forgets that at some point in the movie, I'm going to need an out-of-now-where Vin Diesel monologue. And I'm going to need a scene where

where he's staring off in the distance and then slow motion turning to the person who's talking to him seven times in the course of two minutes. It keeps its DNA in a lot of ways and it has the rock who I don't think has ever been bigger in a movie. I'm just talking like physically.

It looks like he worked out for eight hours a day for the Vindiesel fight and was just like, hey, in this movie you're going to fight Vin Diesel at some point. He's like, really? And at that point, just started eating like 30 raw eggs a day. Taking all the creatine he could find.

And he's just asleep on some machine that is still moving his biceps. So he's getting electromagnetic, whatever, waves getting thrown through his muscles. He's just massive. And this was really, I like The Rock. I thought The Rock was a movie star. I always felt like the Rock was a movie star, even dated back to WWW. This was the movie where it was kind of like it unleashed the rock decade, you know, where it was like, oh, yeah. Oh, the rock's like one of the biggest stars we have.

It didn't really fully feel like that until this movie. You agree? Yeah, I would agree with you there because this felt to me like they nailed exactly who the rock should be in movies. Yeah. This was a character going forward. It was a little sketchy before then we kept like, we would get close to it when you had something like, like, I'm forgetting the name of it. Was it Walking Tall? Well, yeah.

When he plays the show. Like we kept getting close to what he should be or could be in the movies. And then this one showed up and it was like, okay, he is a mythic figure who just beats up everybody and he doesn't care about anything except the mission at hand. Like that's great. We don't need rock. We don't need the rock acting. We don't need the rock giving a monologue about his deceased daughter like in San Andreas. We don't need that.

We need the rock to be big and to fight. and that's all. So his movies, like, if you just look at the five years before this, Grid Iron Gang 2006. That's good. Yeah, I did enjoy Grid Iron Gang. But he's at that point still going for the, I'm crossing over, I'm a football coach.

You know, it was like his version of Dangerous Minds, basically. He does the game plan. He does get smart. He does race to which mountain. He's still kind of in that. He's doing kids movies still. He does Tooth Ferry in 2010. He's in the other guys, and then he did faster, which is a movie I liked.

I didn't love it. I don't think it was, you know, really the kind of movies he should have been doing was like Shooter with Mark Wahlberg. Like that just should have been, every type of script he was looking at should have been a script like that. But he does Fast Five and all of us kind of go, oh, oh, this is what he is. And then from that point on, it becomes the rock decade. What's funny is when you see him, when you watch the other guys, he plays partner cop with

Samuel L. Jackson and they're like the super cool cops and they say bad words and they crash their car into buildings. And it's like a joke that he's playing that character. And then they just do that very seriously in Fast 5 the next year. And yeah, just like you said, when you watch it, he has a line where he says, give me the vegetables. That's a line that the rock says in this movie. And it sounds like the coolest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. life every single time. So this movie, obviously, you me and Adam Carolla, I think like these type of movies the most out of all human beings.

I would put us at least in Mount Rushmore. I don't know if the fourth person is. And I actually saw Fast Five with Adam Carolla. But, you know, we want great action scenes. The perfect action movie, we want five or six great scenes. We want a believable premise. We want some unintentional comedy. And we need at least one or two testosterone heroes because that's what we grew up with.

Your favorite action movie of all time is Predator, right? Or it's like one of the top three? That's up there for me. I don't think it's my favorite, but it's definitely up there. But that's like a classic testosterone movie that we grew up with. The 80s were First Blood and Predator and Running Man, all these. This movie feels like whatever this generation's, whatever's happening, it feels like, It feels like there's some lineage with the 80s movies that we love

because everything crests in the absolutely incredible fight scene with The Rock and Dom, which we're going to break down, which the movies leading to it. I remember being in the theater, it's like, are they going to give us this? They're circling around it. Is this going to happen? And then it happens.

And it's two minutes long. And it is just delightful. Could you have thrown in one more car? car race in this movie? Would you have one more? I don't want to see any other car races. They got every single part of this movie, right. There's no, like you mentioned earlier, there's not one piece of this movie you can change.

I'm with you there. There's not, I don't know where you slide in another car race. That makes it feel better. I would have, I would watch it. I would watch a 12-hour fast five cut. And then, and the remaining 10 hours, the extra 10 hours. Could it all be car races, sure. But I don't think we need it.

Well, and then we didn't mention Justin Lynn directed this, who did at least one of the earlier ones. He did the Tokyo Drift, right? I think so. I can't remember. He did Tokyo Drift. I can't remember if you did Fast 4. This movie has a certain style to it.

And almost a recklessness with the action scenes that it establishes pretty early with that train scene. Where when that train scene happens, and that's pretty early in the movie. And you're just like, you're just like, Oh, okay. So everything's on the table for this movie. I think it's interesting. We've circled around this topic. I don't remember if we talked about it when we did the Fast One Pod.

But this is the movie. Fast 5 was when I think we all looked at each other and realized that this franchise was going to be in our life for 20 to 30 years. And maybe even more than that if they figure out some sort of succession plan with Dom. And maybe Dom's son becomes the lead and they find the right actor for. for that. But I think this was the movie when I realized this was the James Bond of my generation. What do you think of that analogy? I think that's probably fair. I definitely like this more than the James Bond franchise. But if you're just talking about longevity and like this is just going to be a part of your life for a good little while, yeah, for sure. I had not, prior to this watching,

I had not considered like how important this was along the lineage of action movies. You mentioned the rock and the dom fight. Like that's important for a couple of reasons. But I think maybe the biggest one is that there was a definite period where we went, okay, in the 80s, you're just going to fucking be as big as you can. Just be a big muscle man and fight a bunch of green berets. And then we like streamlined everything and everybody got sort of smaller and skinnier. And then we got like that period of dark action movies where they tried to be kind of serious.

And then somebody was like, hey, let's fucking bring the big guys back. That was fun. And then we got them like, it became like a big thing, man. I fucking love this movie so much. Well, and they also, the technology got better. There's just no way they could have done the incredible 20-minute safe scene, which we'll get to it later. I just don't think that scene is happening in 1986. I just don't think they had the equipment,

the know-how, any of that stuff. They just would have been blowing stuff up. But I think this was the movie where I realized that there was a chance. I probably saw this. I was like in my early 40s when I saw this. That there's a chance these movies would be happening for the rest of my life. If you told me, if you told me they're going to release 30 Fast and Furious movies over the next, you know, over the course of 50 years.

I might actually believe that because I don't know if I don't know if this idea ever peters out. What would you, if I gave you the over under of 14 fast, furious movies in our lifetime, would you go over or under? Oh, you absolutely have to go over. This franchise has already made over $4 billion. It's not going anywhere. There's no way. There's no way they don't keep making it.

We got the Shobbs and Haws spin off. We have the all-female version that's coming that Venn mentioned. It's just going to keep spiderwebbing out. This is like a car version of the Marvel universe. They're going to keep coming, and they should. So Universal did some research. Universal intended the series to eventually evolve from street racing to heist films with car chases.

They were looking at like the Italian job. They were looking at the French connection. And they had always targeted Fast Five as being the transitional movie once they decided to do the trilogy. They knew they were going to do Fast Four. Fast Five was going to be the transition movie. And then it was going to start getting wackier and whack here. And the universal chairman at the time, Adam Fogelson, said, can we take it out of being a pure car culture movie and into being a true action franchise in the spirit of those great heist films made 10 to

15 years ago. Adam, mission accomplished. You did it. Congratulations. Thumbs up. Really well done. So this movie was released in April 2011, $125 million budget. It made $625 billion. It was the seventh highest grossing film of 2011, 77% of rotten tomatoes. Roger Ebert, three out of four stars. Good for him. Richard Corliss of Time considered it, and I quote, Maybe the first great film of the post-human era. I don't even know what that means, but I like it. First great film of the post-human era.

So there you go. Any other big picture comments you want to make before we go to the categories? Because we got a lot to hit here. I think we should go straight to the categories. I will say I was surprised that you didn't start with the Brian and Dom. We need two precision drivers. I thought we were going to do that line.

I thought we were going to act it out. I had been practicing. Maybe we can get to it later. Oh, let's get to it later. Let's hold it. I'm ready for it as well. All right, let's get to the categories. All right, it's time for the nominees for most rewatchable scene presented by Slink TV.

If you need to refresh your memory on the nominated scenes from Fast 5, which we'll get to it in a second. Or prep for next week's rewatchable major league. Wow, that's going to be a good one. Look no further than Sling TV. Sling has them both in their deep library of new and classic movies, current shows, and of course, live sports watching your TV phone or taboo whenever or wherever. they've broken the TV model, the traditional one anyway. They've broken the bundle.

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Sling.com slash rewatchables. promo code Ringer. Offer available to new customers only. Availability may vary by location. Other restrictions apply. Now, for the nominees. I mean, picking a most rewatchable scene from this movie. I don't know how we do it.

Let's start here. The opener. The gang frees Dom from the prison bus. This is just a great scene. I have some questions for you. The problem is, usually when we do the rewatchables, we have nitpicks and probably in answerable questions that we do later in the movie. It's impossible to wait on those when we're also talking about these scenes.

because there are unanswerable questions just inherently in the scenes and nitpicks. So we just, we're going to have to, like, jump the gun on this. Here's my question for you as an action movie, aficionado like myself. Anytime they're transporting prisoners in an action movie, it's always on some highway that has no other cars on it. And there's never any police protection at all.

It's always just this bus going down some long highway with no signs of life. for 20 miles. Why do we do it this way? And where are they going? How far is this prison away from wherever Dom was, whatever the charges were laid? Why is he on some bus in the middle of nowhere? Do you have any explanation for this? There's never an explanation for why they do it this way, but I love that they do it this way every time. I feel like the guy who drives the bus has to be asking these same questions. You're putting me on the bus with 40 felon. You're putting me on the bus with 40 felons with 40 murderers and it's just me and a guy and a guy with one gun.

This is not going to work out. It's not going to work out so great, guys. Like, what's going on here? And yeah, we get that long stretch of highway where there's just nothing out there. It's like they tell them, just drive to like the most dangerous part you can for like 45 minutes and then come back. And then if anything happens, nobody will know for hours. If I'm the prisoner on one of those buses and I see the long highway with nobody on it,

to feel like we might actually get out of this. I was like, oh, this is great. All I see is highway. I don't see any other cars. We might get out of this. One of the little things that they do in those scenes that I love every single time is the bus crashes, the prisoners are our escape. We flash forward to like the cops are there. And somebody always says, they're all accounted for except for one.

And you know that last one is going to be a motherfucker to catch. Like they did it in Halloween with Michael Myers. Like Michael Myers got out. Ben Diesel got out. Right. Good fucking luck catching those guys. They're all counted for except for one. The other thing, and I remember in the theater, people laughing.

I actually remember this. They have the TV reporter reporting live from the bus crash. We just saw the bus going 60 miles an hour flipping, I don't know, 85 times. And all these people. And it's like just a bus. And there's just all these people crammed in. And she makes a point of saying there are no fatalities. Like really?

No fatalities. is. They don't have seatbelts on buses. Somebody's going through a window. These guys are in handcuffs. They can't even put their hands up to brace themselves from a fall. Throw in like two fatalities. All right.

So that was one rewatchable scene. The next one, the train heist. Oh, we should mention with the prison bus thing. So the movie starts, Brian O'Connor in four, he hadn't really crossed over yet, right? It still, there seemed like there was a chance that he still might be able to be an agent? I don't remember. I don't remember how four ended. Yeah, that's the thing of four.

He's still like kind of trying to catch Dom a little bit. Right. So in five, he's out. He's just decided I no longer want to fight criminals. I want to help them. I've gone from trying to put criminals in jail to trying to free 40 convicts on a prison bus. And that switch just happens between four and five somehow. So he's on the dark side, quote, of course, from that point out. And because he's in love with Dom's sister, which once again shows

when you really love somebody, you'll do anything, including flip a prison bus. Were you okay with the whole plan of the car veering at the bus and then Paul Walker's car angling it the right way to tip the bus? You like all the physics of that? Yeah, that's like that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a scene right there that shows how much, how precise. No, is that the word? Precise. I like Precise. All right.

We'll go with precise. That shows how precise they are when they're driving those cars. Like, that's a crazy plan. Yeah. They just say, all right, Mia, just fucking go 100 miles an hour straight at the bus. It's going to turn. I'm going to catch the corner of it with the back of my car and it's going to cause the bus to fly.

I don't know if that works. I don't know. But I love to watch. Can I give you a... I have a controversial take here, and I'm going to just throw this out here. Yeah. But I think you're going to be with me on this one.

I'm kind of upset that they broke Dom out of prison. I would like a Dom in prison movie. Not for his life, but give me like a year. Give me two years. Let me see what that looks like. It's a great call. You could argue if they had consulted us, the movie should have started with Dom in prison,

getting in a huge fight with a whole bunch of inmates, and then them deciding they actually have to move him to a different prison for his own safety because he's declared war against the skinheads or something. But at least we get the fight. Yeah. I'm in. I'm with you. I love it.

Next rewatchable scene, the train heist. So there's a job. Got to get a job. Got to make some money. And we should mention Vince, our friend Vince from Fast One, who we actually felt like was underrated and got a raw deal. He's positioned as kind of the semi-bad guy in Fast 1 because he's Dom's friend

who's a complete dick to Paul Walker. But yet it turns out he's totally justified because Paul Walker was an undercover FBI agent. Somehow he's somehow... 100% right. So anyway, Vince is back. He's living in Brazil in the favelas. Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster show up.

They're on the run after they free Dom. they have a job. They've got to get these cars off a train. And what ensues is one of the craziest four-minute scenes of all time leading to all the cars. First of all, I read in the research, Justin Lin, didn't want to use CGI for this movie or as limited as possible. So the car is jumping off the train and zooming off. That's actually real. Those are the real cars.

They had stunt drivers doing that, which I was impressed by. but it all leads to a fight scene on the train, FBI agents getting shot. Not Dom's fault, of course, although it kind of is because they're doing this job with FBI agents on the train. And then Brian jumping onto Dom's car and then them driving off a mountain

and would you say like a 300-foot drop, 350? Yeah, that's 350 easy. They should have, if we pick Nitz, they should have exploded when they hit the water. If you're up that high, hitting water is like hitting concrete at that point.

And not to mention the car that they're landing on in the water. The car is a factor. I'm not sure they don't hit the car. Okay, so a couple of things here. Number one, we're going through the most rewatchable scenes.

Your first two picks are the first two scenes of the movie. That's how incredible this movie is. Yeah, yeah. You could do every chunk of the movie is a rewatchable scene. But when they're, doing this train thing and they get to the part where Brian jumps off and he's on Dom's car

and Dom just punches it off the cliff and they do that sort of slow motion shot where the car sort of sort of starts to fall away from Brian. Yeah. I remember like losing my breath in that moment. Like, oh, like you do one of those situations and I couldn't believe it. And then you watch them and they fall and they splash in the water and you're like, okay, these guys are invincible now. This is going to be fantastic. But what a fucking start. What a start. It's the scene where they're basically telling us, from this point on, the Fast and Furious series is going to get more and more ridiculous. So just come with us.

Don't take it personally. These guys just survived a 350-foot drop. They're fine. They pop right out of the water. They're not winded. Nobody's like, ow, my ribs, my foot. They just come right out. They just landed perfectly.

Just like carved right into the water. That's great. And it was DEA agents, by the way. It was DEA. I know I forgot that. Sorry about that. All right. So the third scene, we're not even close to being done.

The most rewatchable. The favela chase scene. Woo-hoo! The rooftop scene, baby. Oh, my God. It's so good. And I read a little how they filmed this. It was really complicated to film.

They had to film it in Puerto Rico, not in Brazil. And they had to have, you know, because the real people are living there. So they had to figure out all these different ways. to shoot it and where to put the cameras and not have the cameras move. And that, everything about that scene is amazing. Some highlights, that's where Rock and Vin Diesel finally lock eyes on each other.

That's where Vin Diesel, on the run, runs into the Rock's partner. What's her name? Elena. runs into Elena who's chasing him and they kind of, people start shooting at them and they end up in some sort of

like close body contact and Dom locks eyes on her and that's it. She's just ready to leave everything because that's the kind of power Dom has. You're trying to arrest him, but if he looks at you

the right way, it's over, you just want to help him. You don't want to arrest him anymore. Every single person who has tried to arrest Dom has in one way or another falling in love with him. Right.

It happens with Brian. It happens, Atlanta happens with a rock. He's supposed to be an impenetrable mountain. He falls in love with him. At the end of this movie, he decides to help with the heist. Is this Domainz just has special powers? That scene is really great.

And I think what I like about it the most is just how unique it is because of the favelas. Like just the way they shot that, it's so cool. There's just never been a scene like that. I love when Paul Walker and Brewster, they do the jump and they fall through the – Yes. They fall through the house. And the bad guys, everybody has guns. Nobody shoots in the house.

They just were kind of so impressed by the jump. They just let it go. And then somehow everyone ends up together. Somehow they run into Dom at the end. It all works out. It's great. So that's the third scene. Fourth one, a personal favorite.

This might be my answer for favorite most rewatchable scene. The balcony barbecue scene. After everybody finds out that, Brian's girlfriend is going to have a baby. And the screenwriters and producers clearly said, hey, around the 45-minute mark, we're going to need a Vin Diesel monologue. So just work that in.

So they're hanging out of the balcony. Out of nowhere, Paul Walker goes, what do you remember about your father, Dob? Just out of nowhere. I don't know. Any scenario, you and I can hang out for 10 straight years, and I wouldn't ask you that question.

I don't know what man would ask another man that question ever. What do you remember probably your father, Dub? Okay, first, I don't like that you're laughing when you're talking about this scene. I'm already mad about that. Second, the guy who asks this question is the guy who just found out that his wife, girlfriend, is going to have a baby and he's thinking about how he wasn't around, his dad wasn't around. Like, this is a great moment. This is the one part where you and I lock horns every time.

And we had the same argument during the Fast and the Furious rewatchable as the first one. This is my favorite scene of the movie. I'm in with this scene. I just think it's ridiculous how it started. Okay, but you like this scene because you think it's so funny that Vin Diesel is having this serious moment. I think Van Diesel is a phenomenal actor in these specific moments. This is where we fight. He's fantastic.

I want to talk to Dominic Tureto about being a father any day that he will allow me to because I think he's just going to have some really insightful things to say. The memories he has of his dad, it feels like he's really talking, but he's probably talking about his real dad right there. I have no idea. It's so great. It's so moving.

Well, the most important thing, and the reason that I think the screenwriters really wanted to do this scene is the way Vin Diesel pronounces the word father. He says, see, there you go. There you go making jokes again, Bill. He goes, father. And there's this one part where he's like, what do I remember about my father? I remember everything about my father.

Everything. Like he almost like, it sounds like he's drunk when he says the word father for some reason. It's just an incredible scene. I love watching Vin Diesel seriously act. Now, we might love them for slightly different, those scenes for slightly different reasons, but I think we love them just the same. I love serious Vin Diesel And I think one of the keys with this series

Is that they will always try to work those scenes in Whether they make any sense or not This one actually did kind of make sense, I guess Because he did find out he's a fight I love it What do I remember about my fada? Next scene Also more Vindiesel

So The warehouse, it's all coming together They invite the team to go do this big heist they're going to rob this drug dealer. Everybody comes in. I have more questions about this later in the in the pod. And then everybody's getting along. The team chemistry is really great.

It's like the opposite of the 2019 Celtics. Everybody's just kind of vibe in. People are making fun of each other. And Vin's looking at the whole thing like a proud dad. And then finally, they all gather around. And he goes, toast. Which I like what somebody's about to get. of a toast and they just say toast and that's a sentence?

He's like, toast. And then he goes, money will come and go. We know that. The most important thing in life will always be the people in this room right here, right now. Salude me familiar. And that's really when this franchise goes to another level and family become, this is the movie that cements the whole family thing. The family of Brian and Dom's sister

are going to have a baby, this extended crew of wackos and people that would never come together. They've come together as this family to rob this drug dealer. And it's like Fast Five really realizing what it was at that point. It's a family.

Yeah, we got pieces of it in the first one. But there were a couple of things Dom does that makes you feel like maybe we haven't written this all the way out. Yeah. Like when he has the, a great speech about I live my life a quarter mile at a time. And that's the one time he says he doesn't care about the, you know, I don't care

about the bills and the mortgage or the gang and all their bullshit. Like, I only care about this. And then, but then we get the Jesse moment later on when Brian thinks that Dom is going to go kill everybody and he's actually going to try to rescue Jesse. And he's all I got or I'm all he's got. Yeah. And we got the traces of it. But yeah, this was the moment.

And when he delivered that and it touches you, you're really feeling you like, okay, this needs to be the center of every movie going forward. And then he does the Salude Me Familia. What language is that? Is that Italian? That's Spanish. Spanish? That's not Italian?

Yeah. No, no, no. But Vin Diesel's not Spanish. He's not Spanish. No, Vin Diesel's Mexican. He's Mexican? Dominic Torretto is Mexican. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if that's true.

I thought he was Italian. But in my head, Dominic Torretto is Mexican. I assumed he was Italian. You're probably telling him. the truth, but I'm going to lie. Who knows? I mean, that's part of the appeal of this series. We have no idea what his background is. So basically every ethnicity

can claim Dom Torretto in this movie. Absolutely. All right, next scene, we're going to hold this for later, but Dom fights Hobbs for most rewatchable. I have a lot of thoughts in this, but let's push them to later. Okay. Underrated, most

rewatchable, the ambush. Always forget how much I enjoy the ambush, even though everybody on the Rocks team dies. Basically, Hobbs loses every man he has, but that's a great scene. It's really exciting. Tough work trip for the rock right there. It's bad. We're going to dive into him a little bit later, too.

Okay. The bank vault heist and driving the bank vault through the streets of Brazil. I'm just going to leave that there. And then finally, the ending when they open the safe and they see how much money is in it. And then that song starts playing. And it's just so it's just the best. In your opinion, what is the most rewatchable scene of this movie? I think, okay, I have a question first.

When you talk about the Salumi Familia scene, are we including in that, are we including the team, get the team together montage? No, that's different. We can also, that could be its own most rewatchable scene. Okay. My vote is going to be the let's get the team together.

You love those. You love when the team gets together. I love when the team gets together. I love a movie scene that I can pull it up on YouTube and watch it. And it's like under two minutes long. And I get all the pieces I need. And I just feel like a part of it real quick. I really love that.

My second pick, though, if we need a longer one, I got to go with the, I got to go with the favela chase. It's really just, it's really intense. It's really exciting. We get right there, that's the first time in the movie. We get the sense, okay, we've got Dom, Brian. everybody in the middle. And on one side we've got Agent Hobbs. And on the other side, we've got Hernandez and his team.

And they're all trying to catch or kill this group of people. Because they're running from everybody at this point. Yeah. That's really to me very, it's very exciting. And the part you mentioned when Elena and Dom are like in that little alleyway, and it looks like they're trapped. And then Agent Hobbs' team comes across the roof and just fucking mows down everybody. Right.

And we had not seen that in a fast movie yet. We hadn't seen just flat out a bunch of murder. It had never happened. And that part, you go like, oh shit, the stakes are for real this time. These people might really die. That's how I felt watching it. I was like, holy shit, this is unreal. That's going to be, that's my vote.

What are you going with? I feel like you're not picking that one. It's tough because I think the best way to think about most rewatchable is you're flicking channels. And it's two minutes before the scene you. know it's about to come on, how excited you would be at that moment. So I think I might be with you on the favela chase. Okay. If I'm flipping channels, T&T, and I see they're in Brazil, and I know it's about to happen,

I think I would be the most excited for that one because it's such a great four minutes. Even more than the rock fight? I love the favela chase. My other choice would be the bank fault scene just because that was such an amazing scene. I remember being in the movie theater having no idea that was going to happen. You had no clue.

No clue. And it was one of the all-time, how the hell are they doing that scenes? Where you really just were like, how are they doing this? Because it didn't seem like CGI. It really seemed like they were really just destroying all of Brazil with this bank fault.

That's exactly true. Even watching it now when I watch it the other day, I was like squinting trying to see where the CGI is and they do, they have like those quick shots of the car being pulled to the side by the safe. And you're like, I think they're, guys,

I think they're really pulling this fucking vault behind the cars. It's unreal. When I was watching it, Bill, I was watching it with one of my kids and we were just sort of sitting there talking and he knows these movies. already. We've gone to see him. But he was getting up to leave. And I said, hey, they're about

to do the rock fight. And he was going to go play Fortnite as he does in the evening. I said, hey, they're going to do the rock fight. And he didn't say any words. He just laid back down on the couch. And I was so fucking proud in that moment. I was so excited because he knew exactly what I was talking about. And he knew he was about to watch something special. I don't think there's a right answer. I really, it almost seems like it depends what mood you're in that night. If you want to see two guys fight, I would pick the Rock Dom scene. If I wanted to see $20 million of Brazilian property get destroyed and 100 casualties, I'd probably pick the bank fault.

It's really up to you. Everybody wins. What's age the best? So for me, and feel free to throw into your own after every. I only have a couple because we hit a lot of them. But the Rock is a free agent acquisition for Fast Five. We talked about it earlier, but for a what's age the best, this is like Durant to the Warriors,

but like the happy, fun version of it, right? They're just adding a superstar. All it does is make the movie better. There's no fallout. There's no like, there's no the teams going through a rough spot. Or he's fighting with Draymond Green. I mean, they did him and Vin Diesel. They'd get a little snippy with each other,

I think, on social ones. But just a benevolent, awesome free. agent acquisitions. That would be my first one. Second one, Vince's dramatic return, especially having watched the other movies so many times, him coming back, him getting his feelings hurt because Dom was bad about the whole, you didn't tell me about the chip, that one of the cars had a chip, and him slamming Dom's concept of family.

It's tough. That's a tough scene where he's like, how's your family now, Dom? Where's Liddy? And it's just like, it just cuts deep. Oh, it hurts. It hurts. That was so bad. Come on, Vince.

I can't believe he said that. That's really like, that's a thing you don't say. And he said it. I couldn't believe it. He could have said any sort of terrible thing to Vinn, but when he insults VIN's concept of family, that's the worst thing you can do to VIN basically, other than insult maybe his car.

Oh, man. Gogh Goddow for a what's age the best, who's not like one of the most famous actors, We have. She looks unbelievable in this movie. I wrote that on my notes. The scene when she crashes, the dealer's beach club hang,

or the bad guy when he's on the beach and she's in the bikini with Han, and she's like, I got this, and walks over in slow motion. I think that put an entire generation of 13-year-olds through puberty, that scene. It does every year.

Every year, a new group of 13-year-olds goes through puberty during that scene. whoever thought of the idea that the bank fault would drag through the streets of Brazil and destroy everything in its patch, well, tied to two cars. The behind-the-scenes person who thought of that, that person, I would just be bragging about that all the time, right? Yes. Yes.

You'd be like, hey, this is my friend, Shea Serrano. He's one of the producers of Fast Five. You would just immediately interrupt and say, I thought of the bank vault scene. You just be telling random people Coffee places, restaurants, bars That would be your calling card And then another what's age the best

I did this one just for you Dom's explanation for what he wants With the team, with his team Because when they decide That we're going to need a team Which is always a staple of any action movie Is the police coming to get Dom right now? I hear sirens in the background.

Do you hear that? I'm looking and I feel like they're coming to get you. We got some fast and furious going on in action outside of my office. This is perfect. If they arrest you, me and Fantasy and Jason Concepcion are going to free you out of the prison bus because it'll be on a long deserted highway and we're just going to flip it and get you out. Dom's explanation for what he wants with the team.

Here's what he had. First off, a chameleon, someone who can blend in anywhere. A fast talker, someone who could bullshit their way out of anything. surveillance, someone who can break through circuits, guys to punch through walls, utilities and weapons, someone who ain't afraid to throw down, and then two precision drivers,

guys who don't crack under pressure, guys who never lose. How do you, do you feel like, where would you rank him on the GM scale with what he wants from his team? Like Bob Myers, Darryl Morris?

Yeah, this is, This is an A-plus performance. He knew every single part of his plan and every single person he needed for that part. When I'm watching it, he makes the thing about, oh, behind the, you know, we're going to need somebody to punch through those walls. Yeah. He was literally talking about we need somebody to open a wall. And he knew that like fucking days, weeks ahead of time. It's an unreal performance by him.

He knew exactly what he needed. He went out and got it. He's great. The Daryl Mory of. advice. Anything else age the best for you? No, you mentioned the ones that, that, that I was going to say. So I think we're all good there. I mean, you could pick literally anything. Everything in this movie is cool. It's the best. Okay. Yeah. It's all great. What's age the worst? I love this movie. So it's really hard for me to even come up with anything. But we talked about Dom and Brian

surviving the 350 foot waterfall. Probably not that realistic. Did we, did we pick? winners for what age is the best? Did you pick one? Oh, I guess we didn't. Oh, for me, it's the rock as a free agent acquisition. Oh, okay, okay. Just like, just adding him to this franchise was so smart, you know. It really was the best version of Durant to the Warriors. But I like when, you know, TV shows will do this from time to time. And sometimes when they don't, usually the TV show dies. But, like, you take a show like cheers in one of the great sitcoms ever. Cheers should have lasted five years, but then they got rid of Shelley Law and they brought in Kirsty Alley. They made Fraser bigger character and they were able to extend it by twice as long as it

should have gone. The Rock extended the fast franchise. I think if it's just the same people over and over again and then Paul Walker tragically dies during seven, I don't think you could keep this going. I think they've done a nice job of bringing in A-list signature blood to keep, you know, kind of keep the train moving. So, yeah, that's fair. And the rock doing that and then eventually becoming the most famous person in Hollywood. That sort of made it okay for everybody else to want to do that too. Like that was in Fast 5. The Rock was in there.

Cool. I understand it. By eight, by part 8, fucking Helen Mirren is in there. Right. An all-time great actress who does very serious, very like unbelievable work. And she's like, I want to be in a movie where they fucking fight a submarine with cars. And she just came and did it. Yeah, I think you're right.

The rock planting that flag means everybody else is now on the table. True. What's aged the worst? The water splash. So the dramatic buildup of diesel versus the rock has aged the worst for this reason. It just, we know that we've had a decade with this movie. We know how we just know that that's part of the movie. But it's kind of lost its luster when they added the rock to the cast,

how exciting that was. Now nobody would remember this. But in 2010, it's like, what? The Rock's going to be in Fast 5? There was like a real electricity about it that has kind of faded away because this movie has been on for eight years. What's age of worst for me is,

how was Dom so wired into the Rio straight racing scene? This was the movie where the leap of faith of Dom is just so connected in all these different cultures. But meanwhile, he was just this dude who lived in LA for, you know, the first three decades of his life, how did he know, how does he have all these Rio connections? He's hiding from the police in these favelas. So how does he know, like, the big street racing thing and how does he have all the connections

and how did that happen? No, I disagree. I disagree with you on this one. Because when fast, when the fast and furious ends the first one, he's like, I'm, you know, he's, he's in the wind. He's going on the road. And then we find out through like the, the, the, the, the back channeling of the other movies that he is in South America already. He goes to Mexico first, and then he's just sort of down there. And again,

we're talking about Dominic Toretto, who if you look at him, you fall in love. He becomes that figure wherever he goes. It doesn't matter. He's in Brazil for two weeks. He's running shit. Okay.

This is yet again why he should have been in a prison movie. Absolutely. He could have been running a maximum security prison. Hobbs might be the worst FBI D-E-A agent of all time. You brought this up in Fast One, and I just think we don't have to go deep dive into it, but loses Diesel and the whole team in the favelas, which is almost impossible.

He's sneak attacking them, and he's got AR-15s and somehow loses them anyway. Can't figure out where their warehouse is forever. finally gets them oh goes to the street racing thing lets them go and does the I'll see you soon thing finally goes to their warehouse and arrest them and then gets ambushed and loses his entire team then decides to join the Vindiesel and the crew

in their heist because for revenge against the drug dealer it didn't even totally make sense and then strikes the deal with Dom I'll give you 24 hours the money stays here not realizing and that the safe had been switched. And then his laughing at the end, like, wow, that guy got me. It's like, everyone on your team's dead.

Everyone's out of your team's dead. You just let the guy go and you lost all the money. What are you good at? So, yeah, Hobbs. Yeah, he's got a tough two weeks ahead of him when he gets back to America going house to house explaining to all of the families that he led his team into an ambush. It's 20 members who are now dead. And what's worse about this is,

like all of those people, the last thing they remember of Hobbs is getting beat up by the guy he's trying to chase just in front of everybody. Well, and then... It's a tough stretch. How about this? Go to the warehouse. Dom just escaped with all the money at the end of the movie. You know where the warehouse is.

You've been there. You have fought with Dom there like two days before. Go to the warehouse. That's where they took the vault. Where else do you think they were to take it? Hobbs. Get your shit together. There's an implication there at the end.

end of the movie when they do like the, the end of credits scene, and they reveal that let he's alive. Yeah. And so he clearly didn't catch Dom after those 24 hours. He gave him a 24-hour head start and then started trying to chase him again. And then the next time we see him, he fucking has no idea where Dominic is. He's like, that was a mistake. I should not have given him that window.

He's, yeah, he's filing, he's filing the report to his boss. And he's like, how many people on your team died during this? 30. how many million dollars, how many millions of dollars of damage were caused to downtown Rio? $38 million. Did you lose the money from the safe? Yes.

Where are the criminals that you're trying to catch? They're gone. I don't know. It's like, great. You've been promoted. All right, so that's age badly. And I'm going to say it lags for like four minutes during the ocean's 11 part. There's a way to tighten it where it's just,

like there's one stretch where it's like, all right, give me some sort of something. And then finally, where do you stand on Elena? I'm pro Elena. You're pro Elena. Give me the case for her. I'm pro Elena. I'm pro Elena. We need that blood in there.

We need the young cop with the haunted past who wants to do the right thing. And then we want to see her become like part of the crew as well. She's a smaller version of Brian O'Connor. I think physically, I think she looks like she might be like 5'1. That was the toughest thing for me. Because I think they had to cast somebody short because I think Vin Diesel is secretly short. So they had to have somebody that he would tower over. Yeah, Vin Diesel is like 5 foot three.

All right. So what stage is the worst for you? Would you add anybody else? No, I think I think this is going to be the first time in the history of the rewatchables that I am not picking a thing for what age is the worst

because I love every single part of this movie and there's just no and like everything has a purpose even if we talk about the logistics of them falling off of the cliff and splashing into the water and not getting hurt that's the moment that we know

okay these people are becoming almost superheroes because in the beginning in the first movie they're just sort of fist fighting and that's it. And then by the seventh one, a building is, a parking complex is crashing down on Dominic Toretto on his head and he just walks away from it. Like, we needed that moment to establish, okay, there's nothing that can happen here. So I'm going to disagree with you.

There are no parts of this movie that aged poorly. I'm going to say Hobbs's performance as whatever his job was, this age the worst, because he is abominable, as much as we love. of Hobbs. Casting what ifs, I only have one. According to Vin Diesel, the role of Hobbs was originally developed for Tommy Lee Jones. Nope. On his Facebook page, Diesel noted a fan who had a desire to see Vin Diesel and the Rock and a film together. And then him, Vin Diesel and Justin Lin redesigned the role for The Rock.

So there you go. The Dion Waiters Award for Biggest Heat Check in this movie. Who would you give it to? Oh, you know who it is? It's the guy in the police department that Roman Pierce goes in to try to talk to when he wants to put the box in the vault. Yeah. It's that guy. It's that guy.

And he just starts, you could tell he just learned how to be an actor. They maybe pick somebody and they were like, oh, hey, we need a guy. Just say these lines. Because he just starts screaming out of nowhere. He was really going for it. He was going for an Oscar. It's got to be that guy. I don't even know what his name is.

I was going to give that guy the Saul Rubinick overacting. a word. Okay, that's fair then. So Eva Mendez, she was in Fast 2, which I know you love. Is Fast 2, you have that not ranked as the lowest of the franchise, right? No, absolutely not. What's your lowest ranking one on the franchise?

The lowest ranking Fast and the Furious movie is the one that has not Dominic Torretto and not Brian O'Connor and not any of the other people that we know from the series in it. It's Tokyo Adrift. It's a good movie. Sure. It's fun, I guess. But it doesn't have the family in it. It doesn't have that part. Yeah, you need that part. So Eva Mendez is in the closing credits. She comes in, out of nowhere. And I remember in the theater, like, when they showed Lettie, it was like an audible gasp. It really was. It was like,

people were like, oh! But she's in there for like a minute. She flirts with the rock. She leans over the desk. and then just drops a bomb. And I don't know, if it's an NBA box score, she plays two minutes and she gets off like three-threes and grabs five rebounds. It's a great job by her. I would give it to her. Or the other one is, I think Vince is a Deanne Waiter's category candidate here, right?

He's only in like four scenes. Has the great monologue? He's a definite, I mean, if we can include Vince, then it's got to be Vince. All right, let's give it to Vince. Because he does the Letty line. One of the first things, he says when he gets in that argument

he reminds everybody that Brian was a cop. He never listened to me. Not when I told you he was a cop. Not now. You never trust me. Look where it's gotten us. Look at our family now. I can't go home.

Your sister suck him this life. Like he's still holding on to that. He was really swinging. I like Vince a lot. Half Fast Internet Research. The first trailer for Fast 5 was released on Diesel's Facebook page on December 2010 in what's believed to be the first ever use of this marketing approach. At the time, he had 20 million subscribers.

And then the other people in the cast all did it on their Facebook pages. And there was this ground swell from that moment out for this movie. Very smart. And laid the groundwork, basically, for how people would start marketing movies this decade. So good job by them. The production originally intended to film on location in Rio de Janeiro. Puerto Rico came in, offered tax incentives, totaling nearly 11 million. So they filmed mostly in Puerto Rico.

Did you know this? Did I ruin it for you? No, I didn't know this. I don't care where they filmed it. You tell me they filmed it in Philadelphia. It's fine. I have a question, though. I hear the thing about the city's offering tax incentives all the time.

What does that mean? I have no idea what that means. I think it means basically you just save money in the budget if you film there. So you save $11 million, basically. I like when I ask a person what a thing means. And if they start with, I think basically, I already know that they don't know what to talk about. Talking out of my ass. So they contributed $27 million to the Puerto Rican community.

So good job by the Puerto Rico government. They made some money in that one. The rooftop chase across the favelas was filmed in Puerto Rico. 420-foot cable camera rig was used to allow for a fast-moving bird's-eye view of the action. Cameras on crane set up on roofs and alleyways. That's an amazing scene. I would watch a documentary of how they filmed that scene. For the bank vault chase, they used a series of camera cars, including crane-mounted cameras

on a Porsche Cayenne and a Subaru Impraza with a steel cage built around it that allowed for tracking shots. The Subaru's driver occasionally collided with the vault a couple of times, which is why there were sparks. When you see the vault, there's sparks as it's being dragged along.

I have a revelation for you. The bank vault had a car inside it. What? So, yeah. They had a car inside it. There was an actual vault. It wasn't. Isn't all CGI?

No. It was a real vault. It was a real vault. He didn't want to use CGI. Holy shit. So they had a real thing and they had a mock-up that fit around a truck that could be driven inside the vault to give the illusion that the cars were pulling it. They built six versions of the 8-foot-high vault and over 200 vehicles were destroyed by the vault during the filming. So there you go.

Tyrese was committed to Transformers, of the moon at the time they decided to make Fast Five. So he flew between Puerto Rico and Atlanta to do both films at the same time. Tyrese, like the Dian Senators of our lifetime. Thank God. The brawl scene? Do you like Tyrese in these movies? He gets a bad rap from a lot of people.

I love him. I think he's perfect. Those people are assholes. They can go fuck right off. Tyrese is the best. The brawl scene between The Rock and. and Dom required several weeks of rehearsal and more than a week of filming

by the actors and their stunt doubles who incurred several minor injuries. That was according to the half-ass research. I mentioned how Justin Lin wanted the cars to be carried on the train and the train scene to jump out of the train at full speed. So that actually happened.

They used 1972 D. Tomaso Pantera, a 2007 Chevrolet Corvette, GS Roadster. and a Ford GT40. They did not use a genuine Ford GT40, which cost a few million bucks. They used a replica. The stunt involving the flatbed truck

slamming into the moving train, remember that one? No CGI. That was real? That was real. The collision nearly derailed the train, as you can clearly see in the scene. They actually almost fucked it up

and it almost derailed the train. We have to, from like here going forward, we have to figure out, we have to find out on the internet whenever Justin Lynn's birthday is and we have to just pray toward whatever city he lives in every birthday of him. Well, he's back.

He's back for Fast 9. Oh, I know. 100% no, but this is unbelievable. Like all of this information, I thought all of this stuff was CGI. But to find out they were doing it in real life like Mad Max style, but with Fast and Furious,

fucking unreal. Shout out Justin Lynn forever. Forever! Galgado's character's name, Giselle, never mentioned in the film that once. Now, I don't know if they mentioned it in Fast 4. Maybe they did, I don't know. Who knows?

This one amazed, this is the last one. This one amazed me. Michelle Rodriguez, as they were filming Fast 6, did an interview and she said, she didn't know about the twist ending to Fast 5 with her in it until she was in the movie theater, watching the movie, and saw herself, and realized that she was back.

how excited to think she was? That must have been like, Kaching. She was almost as excited as I was when I saw that. Michelle Rodriguez,

as Ledy, is responsible for like two of the best six fights in the whole franchise. She's responsible for the three, for like the three

best driving scenes or like stunts. She's unreal in every aspect. Bringing her back was a genius part. It might, it might prove

to be more powerful than when they brought the rock on. Like long term, I think that might be the case. It was great. Perfect in every way in this movie. Love her. All right. App, Apex Mountain. Vindiesel, I'm actually going to say yes. I think this was Vin Diesel's Apex Mountain. I think this is his best start

to finish performance in a fast movie. I think he's one of the biggest stars of the world at this point. He has a follow to go toe to toe with. I enjoy his performance. the most and the movie, this was when it became a a a trillion-dollar franchise. So I'm going to say yes for him. What do you think?

Yeah, I'm voting yes for you for all of those same reasons. This was the moment that you knew. Paul Walker, I'm not sure because you could argue like the 2000 range when he hit pretty big with Fast 1, but then also, right now, you know what, Fast 5, this had to have been. And this is when he's, you know, this is the buddy cop movie for crossed with heists. And he just knows he's going to be in this for as long as he's alive, which is unfortunately not that long.

But I would say fast five for him to say the best version of the best franchise he was ever in. The Rock. I think I'm not going with this one for his peak. Oh, no, you know what? I'm lying. Yeah, you're right. What about the Rock? pick a, no, not the rock, not the rock.

So what is the Rock's Apex Mountain? The Rock's Apex Mountain is as right before he did, right before he did skyscraper and Rampage, before those movies came out, that was the apex of the Rock. So mid-2000s. Yeah, we thought, we thought they were going, that he was going to be, we thought those movies were going to be good. We thought there's no way the Rock can make a bad movie. There's certainly no way the Rock can make a bad movie

where he's fighting gigantic animal monsters and he's trapped in a building and he's doing like a bigger version of diehard and they ended up being that great but the lead up to it, the lead up to that summer that was when he was just everywhere and undeniable. So like 2016 he does Central Intelligence and Moana

he's got fast eight coming and people are talking about how he should run for president and he's got the biggest social media presence of any celebrity. Yeah, I would say that's bigger. How about cocoa butter? Would you say this was Apex Mountain for Cocoa Butter? Because he's got 10 pounds of it on his arms in this movie. Yeah, this is a good movie for Cocoa Butter.

Is that what he puts on? Who knows? He just buttered up. I don't think Apex Mountain really for anybody else. I think that would be it. I wonder whose idea it was, because this was a great pool by this person. This is maybe the second best idea behind the pulling the bank vault. I wonder whose idea it was when they were filming this movie.

They were like, you know what we should do? Fucking make the rock sweaty in every scene. Every scene he's just sweat on his forehead. He's so intense. And I don't know why he's sweating at night. But I guess go for it. It's because he was working out 24 hours a day. Okay.

The Joey Pants Award goes to the guy who plays the billionaire drug dealer. Wachim Delameda. He's one of those guys. He's been in a lot of stuff. You don't really know where he's from, but he's been in a lot of stuff. As soon as he's a bad guy in Desperado. That's how I knew him. And I showed up.

I was like, oh, shit, Boucho's back. Yeah, I knew him from that. I knew him. He was in 24. He's a bad guy in 24 during when 24 was actually really good, one of those seasons. Mm-hmm. Great bad guy face. So we're bringing this category back just for this movie.

Who would have been the best edition of this movie? Danny Treo. Steve Buscemi, Michael K. Williams. I mean, I don't even think we need to really answer this, but I thought it's clearly Treo should have been in this movie. I kind of don't know how he wasn't in this movie. It's upset. I disagree.

I disagree. I think you need Danny Treo is a little too gruff. A little too gruff for this movie. We need for, we need somebody slick. I think we need Michael K. Williams here. We need somebody who is like, he could have been the bad guy. He could have been a bad guy's henchman. Because like the main bad guy muscle that we see, the guy who's left standing in the street after the big shootout.

Oh, I didn't love that guy. Yeah, that guy was kind of. No, no. I didn't love him. Replace him with Michael K. Williams. And now we've got some. Oh, so now it's like, it's basically Omar. Omar's in that role.

Yeah, that would be pretty good. Picky Knits. So Jordana Brewster, she's pregnant in this movie. she's gained zero pounds. I always love in Hollywood when they gain, how long? The lady, of course, knows, just watches her need for three minutes.

How long did your husband know yet? And meanwhile, she's been pregnant three months and is in just perfect shape. I love when movies do that. Another picky nits, when you're getting the team together, like if I call you and I'm like, actually, you're a bad example

because we could call you and be like, we need you in LA and you'll be like, I'll be there, I'll see you at 6 o'clock. We have had that exact conversation. You actually have. You're probably a bad example. But if I called you and I said, I need you in Brazil and I can't tell you why, but I need you there in 48 hours, isn't, at some point, aren't you going to be like, what is this about? Why do you need me? What do I bring? What clothes should I bring with me?

What do I bring? Do I need to how much cash do I need? Do I need to? Are we staying for two weeks? Like everybody's just like snap your fingers. They're there. Okay, why am I here? I never understand why they do it that way.

But I thought it made me think like, so the team shows up at the warehouse. They're all kind of introducing yourself talking, talking, I'm this person, I'm that person, feeling each other out. And then Vin Diesel comes in and does the classic action movie line. I see you all met. And I was thinking that there's certain lines that can only be said in an action movie,

and I think I see you've all met is one of them. Here's a couple others. Don't worry about it. You're going to want to see this. We're going to need a team. And I heard about you. All four of those lines are also said in this movie. It's like this action movie Mad Lips.

You're Shea Serrano. I've heard about you. We're going to need a team. All right. So that's another picky net. The train heist is ludicrous. I love it, though. It's just like, the train should have derailed

and they should have died in the water jump. Other than that, it was realistic. So how did they get the Wi-Fi signal in the Brazilian warehouse? I can't even get a Wi-Fi signal in my bathroom in the second floor of my house in Los Angeles. So how do they get Wi-Fi there? Do we ever figure that out?

They have a very strong Wi-Fi network in Puerto Rico slash Brazil. How does Dom's warehouse stay such a secret in Brazil? Nobody knows this warehouse, this giant warehouse is there with cars zooming in it out. A fake bank vault being wielded by a truck. Where are they getting this stuff? Are they getting from the Rio Home Depot? I like that. I like what, that's like another cool little thing they do in these movies is they, they just don't, they were not going to explain it.

So they do the whole, oh, I, I had a life before I met you. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you were like a good, got it. A safe salesman. Rock and Dom have one of the most brutal two-minute fights anyone's ever had in a movie. No bruises or cuts afterwards. Not a one. Not even like a little shiner and underneath somebody's eye, nothing.

but Hobbs decided to join them for the final heist. I love it. It's absolutely ludicrous. Why? Because he wants revenge? What? Yeah, the guy killed his whole team. You got to take him out.

You need to. Do you tell your boss at that point and be like, hey, my whole team got wiped out. I'm going to be back at two days, but at first I got to help out on this bank heist. Yeah, that was a big one. Did you catch, I didn't catch it in the movie theater. Oh, let me ask you first. Yeah. When you watch this the first time and they're doing the big fight and they show the Dom with the wrench and he smashes it down,

did you think that he had crushed the rock skull or did you know there's no way he did that? No, it was the rock. I never thought he hit the rock. They're not killing the rock. The rock's not signing up to a movie to die. The second part. is did you notice or pick up on how they were basically recreating the thing about Dom beating the guy to death. I mean, not to death, but beating him with a wrench.

The wrench. And like that becomes the thing that he does with the rock. But he pivots at the last minute. Like, that's cool, man. That's a good movie making. That's like a cool little thing. So I did not, I probably did not notice that the first time I saw it. But definitely after watching all of these movies a thousand times, it's undeniable.

this time around. How did they swap the safes? They had a 10-second window. The second safe comes out of the truck. They're unhinging stuff and hinges stuff back up. I just, I needed a little more, I needed a wide, wide camera shot of just how they did that. It seemed, it seemed pretty, pretty amazing.

All right, best quote, it's got to be, I'll see you soon, Torreto, right? Tomato. I'll see you soon. All you won't. Is there a better quote? No, probably not. I like Brian's smiling after Dom gives a hole we need two precision drivers.

Yeah. Guys who don't crack. I like him giving that little smart and say, yeah, you know we got that. Most importantly, we're going to need two precision drivers. Guys that don't crack under pressure. Guys that never lose. You know we got that. Like, that's great.

That's a great Paul Walker moment. He's so handsome in this movie. He's so likable. Great haircut. He just, oh, man, a perfect haircut. All the shouts to Paul Walker. There's also a quote in here.

I'll just won't even give you the context where somebody says, running ain't freedom. Just want to throw that out there. All right. Yeah. Could this be remade as a 10-episode Netflix show? No.

Don't mess with this franchise in any way. We will kill you. No chance. Probably in answerable questions. What happened to the other two Brazilian dudes on the team who won money, who then went to Monaco, and we have no idea if they won on roulette or not. They just left us hanging. What happened?

Did they win? Did they lose all their money? No, I think they try to make it look like it's going into green, but I don't think it went into green. One of them ended up winning. They gave the other one their half back of the money, and that was it. But what happened to those guys? Why weren't they invited back for Fast Six? We just got rid of them?

What about Familia? What about my family? They show up later on. They show up later on in the, yeah, yeah, they got like quick little thing. They don't become a substantial part of the team, but they pop back in. That's bullshit. I don't know if Dom treated them correctly. Why not rob the first drug dealer and just be done with it?

Because they have that first one where everybody's in there in their underwear, making drugs, and they come in, they break. And that would have been like, I don't know what, 10 million? How much would they have made from that? That looked like several million dollars. I mean, you figure they've got 10 or 11 stash houses and each house has somewhere around $10 million. Yeah, they burned up $10 million to get, I guess, to the big money later on.

But yeah, maybe call it a wrap after that one. Maybe just Dom, Brian, and one other person, they just robbed that first stash house and then they're off. Split the $3 million apiece. Might have been safe. for bet. What would have happened at the end if the safe went over the bridge? And I wonder if they thought about it. Because it comes very close.

If the safe goes over the bridge, it pulls the car over the bridge with them and sinks to the bottom and that's it. But then again, there's nothing in the safe. So I guess it doesn't matter. It could have been a good twist ending, though, where they think they just lost the money and the rock thinks the money's gone. Then they have to send the scuba divers to go get it. But then actually, it's in another safe.

I got two more. Okay. Was there a bigger mistake in the history of movies than not spinning off Han and Giselle into their own movie? That you can think of. That was tough. Han, Han is such a great character. I love Han.

We, yeah. But I think he's a complimentary piece. I think he has to serve in that role. He's like a Clay Thompson type character. But. Where he can get hot and carry a scene or two. But I don't know if he could carry a team for a full season. I think Han and Giselle could have been the Netflix show.

Maybe there's still time. All right, here we go. Last unanswered question. What do you score the fight if it's boxing? Dom versus Hobbs. What's your score? What's your round? Is it 10-9 for Dom?

Oh, it has to be 10-9. It might even be 10-8. I mean, we've got to knock down. He's basically knocked out at the end of the fight. he's just sort of laying there. He's not moving around anymore. He's not trying to get up. He's not doing the thing where he's like pretending like he still wants to fight.

He has had enough. He has gotten beat up enough to know, I don't want this anymore. It might be a 10-8 fight. Well, you're not going to believe this, but I wrote down every sort of thing that happened in the fight. I did a copy box punch numbers. Dom landed 11 punches. Hobbs landed five. Dom landed four elbows,

Hobbs landed three. Hobbs landed five kicks. Dom only landed one. So more kicks there. Dom's never been a kick. Dom's never been a kicker. No, he's not really, Vin's not really athletic enough

to pull the kicks off. Dom had seven takedowns or tackles. Hobbs only had five. Craig, the producers, really enjoy, like, just in awe of what's happening right now. Hobbs missed a punch or had a punch, Locked five times.

Dom six times. Hobbs had one head butt. Dom had two. Hobbs had an arm bar, no arm bars for Dom. Hobbs had the sleeper hold, which almost got Dom there. No sleeper hold for Dom. I think it was closer than we realized. I think the ending skews it.

I have it 10-9. I don't know. I feel like if you get the guy, you have him in a rear-naked choke, and you also have him in an arm bar and you don't finish. And then the fight ends with you almost dying. The guy choosing not to kill you, I can't give you nine points for that. I'm sorry.

So supposedly... Statham in the Rock is a 10-9 fight. Dom in the Rock is a 10-8. So supposedly there was a lot of negotiation for how this could go because the Rock did not want to have his ass kicked in the movie. Oh, I can't even imagine how long they argued about that.

And I think that was one of the reasons this lasted for a week. And I actually think they spelled out exactly how much violence from each side was on there. So they made sure one guy didn't have too many of this. So if you actually lay it out, it was pretty even how they did it. But then the end they made it so that Dom, you know, I wonder if the rock, even at the 11th hour, was like, hey, what if he's going to hit the monkey wrench, but I stop him and then people jump in. I wonder if, you know, he really does, like, lose the fight. He couldn't have been happening. Yeah, he loses the fight and then, and then Dom has to save him later on again.

Yeah. It was a tough stretch for the ride. He was definitely angling. He was definitely trying to come up with a different way to end that fight. I have to imagine. That's his whole thing. He's like the unbeatable guy. Well, I also had, for unanswerable questions, how did they film the dumb rock scenes

where it made that seem like they were almost the same height when the rock in reality is like eight inches tall. Like if you actually watch this movie carefully, there's a lot of carefully constructed can. You never see their full bodies facing each other. It's always like there's something in the way or the camera's looking up or they cheat all these different ways

to make it seem like they're the same height, which I enjoy. There's only like one or two times during that fight. And so when they're right in front of the cars, It's like one of the clear times you notice it where the rock is coming down to get to get dumb. But yeah, all the rest of them is really, they did a really good job.

You have no idea that they're that small. The same thing happened to me with Josh Brolin, who in my head has been like 6'6 his whole life. And then in Sicario 2, they do these like wide shots of him walking across a room. And like, oh shit, this guy's like 5'8. Is that a gigantic head? I think what they haven't listed at a...

Six, two. They have him listed as 510, which means in real life he's 5.8. No, man. Who won the movie, Shea? The Rock. The Rock won this movie. Wow. Because the Rock took this role and spun it into the career that he has now.

That's who he is now. That's the character he is now. He has all of these great iconic lines. He has the whole some bitch thing. Yeah. He's probably gotten like a four or five best lines. of each of the last few movies. It's the rock.

It's the rock. He showed up, planted that flag, and really just became that fucking guy. Dom was already established. And pulled off from a credibility standpoint that we still feel like it's a good thing to have him in the movie that he's competent. And meanwhile, he was the worst FBI agent of all time.

The worst. Yeah. There's a part in the Hobbs and Shaw trailer when they're on the plane. And he mentions like he saved the worst. world four times or something. Yeah. And in my head, I'm like, no, no, you, Dominic saved the world.

You didn't save the world. You fucking had to be rescued or you're going to die in the streets of Brazil like a dog. Right. If Dominic Torretto doesn't show up for you. After he kicked your ass. And then in, what was it, seven? He's got the broken arm the whole time. He's like barely in that movie.

Settle down, Rock. But I do agree. I think he won this movie. I think he invigorated the franchise. He, pushed his whole career to a whole different level. He's the best. He's the one guy who, my youngest son, he's six years old.

But when he sees The Rock, he knows that he's like, oh, that's my favorite guy. More than me. That's my favorite person, The Rock. I love him. I love him the Rock. You're worthy number two. Shea Serrano, this was a pleasure. This is one of the great movies that's ever existed.

And you can watch it on Sling. Don't forget, Sling.com slash rewatchables. 14 day, free trial. You can watch this. You can even listen to the podcast that we have on there. Shea, it was an honor. It was a privilege. Salude me, familiar.

I knew it. All right, have a good one.