The Rewatchables - ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Mallory Rubin

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

You can now watch full episodes of the Rewatchables on video! Ringer Movies, our new YouTube channel, is home to all things video for ‘The Rewatchables’ and ‘The Big Picture.’ Subscribe here! All The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Mallory Rubin need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and they’re fine after rewatching the 1982 classic ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ starring Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Phoebe Cates. Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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where you can find our YouTube channel, Ringer Movies, that has the rewatchables, a big picture and some other stuff. You can also find Mallor Rubin on House of R. That's the name they gave me. Chris Ryan, the crankmaster himself, Mr. Crank. And Daddy. There's something about being called Crankmaster with this movie that I'm not comfortable with. The Watch.

My name is Bill Simmons. We're doing Fast Times Ridgebun High. We got the bug when we were talking about Jerry McGuire recently. So now, Fast Times. Finally, here we go. Is this necessary? That was my skull. Is this proper?

What is it that gets inside your heads? Is this educational? No, but it sure is fun. Hey, bud. Let's party. See, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, where only the rules get busted. Rated on.

Start Friday, August 20th of theaters in your area. Check newspapers for short times. All right, Chris Ryan, Fast Times. Yeah. Yeah. Mallory. Yeah. It's been a while for you in the rewatchables.

Since you brought the house down in Forrest Gump, right? We did you do one since. War the Roses. Yeah. War the Roses. That's right. The raunchy teen movie era, era near and dear to my heart, since I was a teenager as these movies were coming out. I was...

I'm older than you, Chris Ryan. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that on the podcast. I wanted you to paint a picture of Bill Simmons, 1982, with Porky's in this coming out. Just wanting these movies to come out. Just wanting these movies to come out. every week. Yeah. Early cable.

Super early VHS. Like not like you might have a birthday party where you went to somebody's house and maybe they would have fast times. They'd be like, oh my God, they have fast times. But this was, I consider Caddyshack to start this. Okay. So Animal House 78. Caddyshack, which I don't think is considered a teen movie, but it really is if you look

at it. But then we get to 82 and it's this recipe of. comedy, boobs, people trying to get laid. Yeah. And that's the really... That's it. And bank robberies. If they would ever just put a bank robbery in forkeys.

And heists. But that was it. And that was just the way it went for years. And then at some point it kind of morphed into the John Hughes type of teen comedy. But this is like, it's the most inappropriate era. It's also obviously near and dear to my heart. And a lot of good music, too. What's your relationship?

This was the darker, older sibling to Breakfast Club. So, like, I think I probably was introduced more to the John Hughes stuff, like Ferris Bueller and Breakfast Club and 16 Candles. But it was like Fast Times was the tape, like you said, it's like the tape somebody's older brother had, you know? And it kind of reminded me watching it now. It made me feel like I did. So in 82, I was, like, really young.

But, like, it's like that feeling of being in middle school and like kids in high school seem impossibly older, like so much older than they actually were, but you're like, these guys are like in their late 20s. They party and have sex, like, and drive. And I'm just like such a child. And that's what it felt like the first time you watched Fast Times because it was like so, it was so real and so dark.

And there was stuff, there was stuff that happening in Fast Times or I was like, I don't know what that is. Like, I don't know what an abortion is. I don't know what oral sex is, like when I first saw the movie. I exactly felt that way. There were like three things in this movie. I didn't even know how to process or understand them. There was also a danger with this movie, Mal, where kids, I was in eighth grade when this came out.

Like, some kids weren't allowed to see it. Yeah. So it was like, okay, I'm not allowed to see it. Let's go to the movies and see this other movie and then immediately sneak in the fast time. Right. So everybody saw it. And I don't think they knew it was going to be as big as it was. I think it did fine in box office, but it was the tale of it, I think that mattered.

But what do you remember about it? Cult classic to the state. So this movie came out four years before I was born. Fair. So it's actually for me something that I saw after the high school sex movies or coming of age, romance stories that were like the defining movies of my time. Like we just said the 99 draft and we talked about a bunch of them. American Pie, Ten Things I Hate About You, Cruel Intentions. Those were the movies that I was watching in middle school.

Those were the son and daughters of this movie. Exactly. And then you start catching. up on the coaching tree and realizing what came before. So I saw Fast Times. I saw Dazed and Confused. I saw, obviously, much more like Chase, but America Graffiti. All those movies for me came after the movies that were, like, releasing contemporaneously to when I was growing up.

Which I think it's not then quite the, like, oh, my God, this, like, taught me what a blowjob is, which it sounds like was your personal and very meaningful relationship to the film. Change my relationship to carrots, that's for sure. I've got some notes on the carrots that will, I'm sure, come up throughout the podcast. today some thoughts and questions. I thought about bringing carrots, but then I was going to do that too. I was going to do that too. I was like, maybe if we were filming at home on Zoom, you know, but.

This era, Porkies was the six biggest movie of 1982. Yeah. Following E.T. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Rocky Three on Golden Pondon and an officer and a gentleman. Porky's was six. What a year for you? Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, this is your polter guys came out. First Blood.

you know, there's a bunch of them and taps with Champan. So I think of this era, it's Caddyshack, it's fast times, it's Porky's. Last American Virgin is a huge piece of this that just kind of died, but the same kind of recipe of somebody who wanted to fall in love

and had their heartbroken with really good, well-placed music. That one had James Ingram at the end just once, as he realized his buddy had cockpocked him and stolen the girl he loved. And he's just driving away crying, and it's like,

I gave my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough. Because here we are back where we were before. This is incredible. You're just knowing. I'm thinking about it. Losing it with Tom Cruise. Private school with Matthew Modine and ironically Phoebe Kates. Yeah.

Betsy Russell on the horse, important teenage scene. Class with Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy. That's right. And Andrew McCarthy starts dating Rob Lowe's mom. That's one of the most absurd movies ever made. But they're just cranking these out left and right. And then all of a sudden, John Hughes is like, I will take your corner. And then when's Meatballs?

Like, there's also... Meatballs is earlier. Meatballs is 80. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Meatballs, it's like Animal House Meatballs, Caddyshack, leading to all the rip-off movies. It's really interesting to see what Hollywood, generally, Hughes specifically, probably saw in fast times.

And we're like, let's take this, this and we'll see that other shit out of this. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, like, dude, there's stuff. in Breakfast Club that is transgressive or is a little bit edgy and stuff like that, but it's nowhere close to what's going on in fast times. And concerning the amount of movies

it must have influenced, it's crazy how rare it is to see a movie get as push things as far as fast times did. But those impermissible qualities, like that's the meta aspect of it. Like the things that the kids in high school at the mall are doing in the movie and you're like, do they have, okay, I saw one,

I saw one, good night hug between Mama Hamilton and Stacey. And then the parents are just M-I-A. Curtis mentions Papa Spacoli to Jeff once, but like the parents are not present. Demoson's like working with his dad in the garage. In the garage, right. And so the kids, the teens, the high schoolers

are getting up to all of the things that they can do outside of the view of supervision. And when you're watching fast times, it feels like that. Like consuming it is for you what doing all the things. But that's also what childhood kind of felt like that. back then, right? Like, your parents were just not around as much as they are, I think, in

kids' lives today. It is a dominant theme in these 80s movies. And I always wonder, like, where are the parents? Because it's always like, oh, yeah, mom and dad are away for a week. Brad and I are watching the house for the weekend. What about all the other times? Like, I don't want to leave my house with Ben for like four hours. Ben will be like, when you guys coming back, I'm like 45 minutes from now, even if it's three hours later. You go back, there's an octagon that's been built. I already have some stories on this. But yeah, back then it was a lot of kids just not being anywhere where their parents were.

Partly because they didn't have the internet. So if you were home, you're either in your room listening to music or you're in the living room watching TV with your parents. Nobody wanted to do that. So they just get the fuck out. That's why malls became so important. Yeah. And this is one of the big themes of this movie. This is like the rise of mall culture.

which then leads to some of the movies we had in the 90s celebrating this era of mall culture, like mall rats, like Chris Ryan favorite. Yeah, and it's also like really brought back the era of like kind of having a job that you just did to keep busy more than anything else and that that was something parents were just like, you got to get out of the house. Like, I don't really care what you do,

but like you better come home with like 50 bucks at the end of the week or whatever those kids were getting paid. And you wound up working at pizza places and ice cream shops and taking tickets at movie theaters. And if it was all at the mall, and it was basically a big hangout. But that's one of the things that's so great about the movie

is, like, at no point does it feel like any of them had to get a job because their parents made them. It's like their pursuit of freedom. Yeah, right? Financial independence, like social independence, whatever the case may be.

And they're the ones convincing each other. Yeah, six more payments. Right. Fast time came out in 82. There's a whole story behind this movie with Cameron Crow, our guy. We just did Jerry McGuire. But he goes undercover. He's writing for Rolling Stone.

He goes undercover at Claremont High School in San Diego, even though he was an adult. And read as a year of high school and writes a book about it. Unbelievable. And they decided to turn into movies. So he writes the script. But one of the things about this movie and some of the other ones, we've talked about this in the past, which is like the crazy talent pool of actors. Oh, my God. In the early 80s that are just all over the place.

We talked about this with risky business. Yeah. This movie, it doesn't launch Champan because he's in Taps the year before, but Nick Cage is in it. Eric Stoltz, Forrest Whitaker, Phoebe K., Anthony Edwards, Jennifer Jason Lee. But then Valley Girl is happening separately, and that has Nick Cage,

and the risky business is happening with Cruz, the outsiders is happening with Swayzee, and it's just this talent boom. The Brat Pack is forming, and I don't know what it is. It's like when you look at the NBA or whatever, NFL with quarterbacks. Why are there so many quarterbacks for this three-year stretch?

This makes no sense. I wonder whether there's something connecting it to the kids of that 80s America being an upwardly mobile or like having purchasing power and Hollywood recognizing that. Like, oh, kids want to see themselves on screen. Yeah. Let's pump these out like all year long, but especially over the summer when they're out of school.

And like... And thank God. Yeah. And then that, but that's like... You know, in the 70s, I don't think you have as many, like, high school movies because people, I think, I don't think that that was a demographic that was getting marketed to as much. There was this era that Sierra and I have talked about. You missed it. I was old enough to be babysat by some of these kids, but it's from, like, 76, probably to 83, where people just left the house and they drove around.

Yeah. And that movie, this movie captures that, too. Like when Spicoli and Jefferson's brother. Yeah. And they're just driving and they're just fucking getting loaded in the car. Like, that's what people did in 1981. You're just like, I'm just going to go from point A to point B in the town I live in. And we'll drive and we'll play music and we'll get fucked up.

Maybe we'll end up in a parking lot. And that's how you killed like a Saturday night. Yeah, but that was like you can't get into a bar. So what do you do to go hang out? And it was like, but even when I was growing up, we would drive to Cherry Hill, New Jersey and go to the mall. Or we would go to mini golf somewhere in New Jersey. and we were just, but it wasn't like we were mini golf aficionados.

Just passing the time. Yeah, we're just trying to kill a night. But you could also get fucked up in your car and it was okay. Yeah. It was like, oh, CR crashed his car and shit. He was fucked up. Like, oh, man. He's going to pin it on the rival school. But like, you have a scene when Rat and Des Moan show up at

at Stacey's to hang out in the pool, right? And it's like, yeah, a hot day came to help you with your math homework. The idea now of two people who are sort of tangentially kind of in your life, showing up at your home to spend the day with you without announcement or invitation is inconceivable. I was thinking about it.

I'm going to start doing that just showing. I'm just going to drop by. You would love it. It's like I'm screening a movie. Hey, Craig, did your generation ever just get in the car and drive around to kill a Friday night, or is that era just over? I think we did that. We used to go to, like, Park 7-Elevens, uh,

stuff like that, people's garages. And yeah, we would definitely sit in cars. But it could never be like, oh, Johnny's had 20 beers. He's going to have to take us home. This is hilarious. No, not really. That's kind of what 1981 was like. Yeah, but that was before Mothers Against drunk driving.

All that shit. I feel like a lot of that stuff got hammered on us, like pretty hard. Not in this, not in the era of this movie. No. Like Spicoli, basically, they crash a car. A bunch of shit happens. He sideswipes other cars. He's like, whoa. And then somehow gets a car.

cars where else the next day and it's fine. Yeah. The movie doesn't judge the behavior at all. Caddyshack was like that too. So, 1982, Sean Penn. I know him at this point from Taps in this movie and then bad boys. And after that threesome, I would just bet he's going to be the biggest star in the world because there are three completely different parts.

He's so good in this movie, it does not seem like Sean Penn. Yeah, I mean. It has no correlates. relation to any other character he's played in his entire career. It's also hilarious to watch somebody doing a method, a method version of acting for Spacoli. I mean, like, usually you're just like, oh, yeah, you would do my left foot or, you know, Robert De Niro and Raging Bull.

This guy's like a stoner. He's basically, like, Wooderson or, like, a bunch of other, like, iconic kind of rebel kids. And he's fucking treating it like he's playing... Incredible. Henry V. It has the same lasting impact on our shared history. though.

Honestly. Yeah. Like Spicoli walking in to Mr. Hans' U.S. history class

with a bagel in the waistband of his jeans, that is cinema. Yeah. Yeah. It is. This is just an iconic

performance. Spicoli. The other thing that's worth mentioning about Spacoli, which is really fascinating to go back and watch is like,

you know, there was still like regionalism in American culture. And this was a West Coast movie. That was a West Coast character. Like, we did not know.

Oh, I had no idea who that person was. Yeah. The East Coast. Having a guy wear a Baja and a turtleneck and checkered vans, I was like, these guys might as well be wearing, like, a clown suit. I've never seen this before. I almost put this in what's age the worst,

Spicoli, not the character, but just he's been ripped off so many times since 1982 that it's like, oh, yeah, Spicoli. I've seen that character, but you can't overstate that this character did not exist in movies or television until Spacoli. The original authentic article. Also, the checkers fans are timeless. Yeah, well, he made them timeless. Yeah.

I can't think of any other character before this. Because I tried to rack my brain. I'm like, there had to be somebody. And I just, you know, not like this where it's funny, but also like this wholly distinct character. He's just, he's great. The soundtrack is unbelievable in this movie, too. Incredible.

Can we do Amy Heckerling for a second? Yeah. Can I do the soundtrack? Sure, man. Jesus. I thought you were going to. See, grabbing the steering wheel. No, I thought you were going to say, like,

we'll do that needle drop. I have Heckerling. No. I just, this movie starts with We Got the Beat. Yeah. Yep.

It goes to American Girl. The American Girl drop. And then it comes right into Jackson Brown, somebody's baby. It's just those are the first three songs of the movie.

We, uh, blingo boingo is in here. The moving and stereo, one of the best car songs, one of the best early 80s songs. Led Zepp is in here. Jingle Bell Rock. It's,

it's way up there for soundtracks. Unfortunately, for the actual soundtrack, like five of the best songs don't exist on the soundtrack. Yeah. Because they couldn't get the rights. Yeah, because is American Girl in it?

In the actual soundtrack? Yeah. American Girl's not on. Moving and Starr is not on. We got the beats not on. Cashmere's obviously not on. But that was a big part of this movie because it was like that early 80s,

like the soundtrack, Valley Girl, that was what sold Valley Girl. But there's still like little remnants of the 70s. So it's like, Desmond's like, you got to listen to Led Zeppelin 4. You know, like they're still talking about classic rock, which I guess would have just been rock.

back then. This was a really, one of my favorite areas of music from like 78 to 82. Like the beginning, punk, new wave. It's not, like, New Order and the, the, and those bands aren't, they're not even close Depeche Mode, The Cure. Yeah. They're not quite there yet, but it's not classic rock either. So you have, like, the stones have, like, tat.

That's when the stones have some of my favorite songs. Demone has, like, uh, some girls are emotional rescue poster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elvis Costello's in there, and it's just getting weird and there's some punk mixed in. and blondies at their peak. I enjoy that music. All right, do your Amy Heckler. I just, watching it this time, I was just struck by, like,

this is such a different movie if a different director does it. And what an amazing touch. She has... Like David Lynch? Like David Lynch. And, you know, she's basically done this twice in her career, which is amazing, where she's made, like, a perfect high school movie because another one she does is Clueless.

But the similarities with Clueless still. Like, this is a movie that's, like, a lot about manners and a lot about, like, miscommunication. I just think she has such a great touch with honestly some of the most controversial scenes of this movie could go so fucking haywire. Yeah. If you're not like, hey, they both have to be naked or like we have to like shoot this from like an even handed perspective. If it was more exploitive, I don't think we would even be doing this on the pod. You know, it would be porkies basically.

One thing I was struck watching it, I don't know how many times I've seen this movie. But watching it from the prism of like just knowing teenage girls because I went through it with my daughter and a lot of her friends just have a different perspective. This movie is so good with the two girls, the relationships with them, and then the Jennifer Jason Lee character. Because when I was growing up, this was like a Spacoli movie to me. Yeah. Right. And it was I didn't really care about the relationships as much. It's Stacey's movie. And then as you get older, you're like, oh, this is Stacey's movie. And then when you actually become a parent, you're like, this is an amazing movie about Stacey. Yeah. So I went through all the journey. Give us your Stacey thoughts. I have lots of Linda thoughts

coming up later. But yeah, I agree. to me, like, Spicoli is the comedy gold and, like, the highly memeable quality and obviously this, like, iconic performance that is just genuinely exceptional, but it's always been Stacy's movie to me, and maybe that's because when I watched it for the first time I was a teenage girl.

And so it's always felt like she was the primary protagonist and, like, Spicoli and Brad are sort of alternate point of view characters, even though Sean Penn Dunst is, like, the lead billing and the movie and, like, the poster, etc. the clueless comp and the fact that Amy Heckerling was able to pull this off twice to Chris's point. Like I think I have seen, I haven't seen Clueless in a while, but I think over the course of my life, I've probably seen that movie more than any other movie because when I was a kid, I would watch it every other weekend.

Like for years on end because it just felt like indelible and essential to that time in my life. And I think for people who were a little older than me, that's probably what fast times was for them. And so to be able to give that to multiple generations of young people watching a movie is, like, unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, she and Cameron Crow are not that much older than these kids when they make this movie. Right. Which is pretty rare. Right.

People in their 20s don't usually get an opportunity to make a movie. But when they do it right, like Linklater or Spike Lee or Cameron Crow and Amy Heckerling here, like, they really nail it because they feel connected to those kids. I think that that point about, like, where they are in their lives. Am I right that Amy Heckerling was like maybe 27, 28 when you were making the movie? So to your point about how the film doesn't feel judgmental, you were both saying a version of this, like you're close enough to that experience that it feels like the formative defining years of your life. Well, and they make Dimon the bad guy. But barely. But you're not far enough away that you're looking back and saying, how could we do these things or like how dare people behave this way?

You understand how it shapes the course of your life, but still kind of with like, a little bit of longing. Like, there's a mythology to high school from the people who made. Yeah, the fact that they don't judge the characters at all is, I think, like what CR said, in the wrong hands,

this movie goes sideways in a bunch of bad ways. Yeah. It's funny because she made Loser, which is a movie I really wanted to like, and my wife actually loves it, but it's a really frustrating, weird movie with a great soundtrack

and it has a lot of the same beats of Clueless, and it just didn't totally work. And part of it is because of the character, Mina Sabari, is the lead. Yeah. And it just, the recipe's there and she just can't land the plane, but it makes you realize how hard it is to do clueless in this movie. Yeah. Like, it's just not going to pull it up.

Jennifer Jason Lee is a really special actress, too. Oh, my God. Unbelievable performance. I was trying to think of, like, the best. And it's weird because it's like basically every seven years, or six, seven years, because you have this movie, say anything Ione Sky in that movie is kind of the late 80s version of where this character is in a lot of different ways. older. Then you get to clueless. Mean Girls, I think, is a good one. Like, for that feels very 2004. When you just think of movies that feel like they're in the exact year when you watch it. Yeah. You know, Mean Girls, to me, feels like such a 2004 movie. Then you go to EZA with Emma Stone and

like 2010. It's another one. But every six, seven years, you get a really special performance where you're like, oh, that girl is definitely going to be famous. And now it's probably you for you. Yeah. Right? Like, that's kind of depressing. But true. Great performances. It is probably the sort of definitional high school thing, even though those people are not high schoolers anymore, like, obviously. But I liked that. I thought Edge of 17 was really good.

Yeah. I love that movie. Adventureland we did on the rewatchables. There's been a lot of these. And when it's in the right hands, you usually need to have the actress to help pull it off. And sometimes the movie just doesn't have the right actress. Yeah. Well, it's the performers, but it's also how the characters are written.

and conveyed. Because, like, to your Stacey question, part of what I love about the movie is that the girls are just as horny as the guys. Like, they have agency and they're active drivers of the things they want, which becomes more normal over time, but is not always what you would necessarily expect

to find in a movie about, like, sex-crazed dudes who just want to, like, watch girls suck on carrots at the cafeteria table. But Stacey's like... Sorry. Yeah, he's like, yeah. You need a minute. Cheers.

Hold on. Let me think about that one long and league again. I think that's the key part of this movie is that they flipped it. Yeah. But. The way that they're talking about, like, how much comes out when a guy has a orgasm?

A court. That's how guys talked. That's the same kind of, like, misunderstanding that guys would have back. I got to say, though, as an eighth grader seeing this movie, though, I was like, wait, they talk about this stuff too. Like, it was really like a revelation.

I didn't know they talked about it. How was I going to know? And they're also, like, lying to each other. to each other. She's like, I thought you said he lasted for 40 minutes. He's like, oh, yeah, that's right, 40 minutes. Yeah. Yeah.

And you're like, okay, is Lindo, like, embellishing the truth to make Doug sound cooler and superior to, like, lame high school boys? Does Doug exist? Right. Is Doug fake? Is he a figment of creation? I had that coming up later. Yeah. There's some evidence.

There's some hardcore evidence. Why do you think Phoebe Kates was in a bigger star, CR? Oh, my God. Uh, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know what. she was, I mean, we were really curious to go through and find out, like, what parts she might have been up for. I stuck into the theater for Paradise with Willie Ames a year later. A Blue Lagoon Ripoff with Phoebe.

I think she had a lot of regrets after the fact about that movie. But, yeah, I just think people really liked her. And for some reason, it just, she got typecast because she also was in private school. It's pretty impossible. Then you can't get out of it. To go from being, like, when you look at like Jennifer Jason Lee's career, for instance, like, that is astonishing that she is still. like she's on Fargo last year or this year or whatever year.

She's hateful age. She's in Fargo. Yeah. To go from that. So she's basically... Mao was out on her after single-way female because she killed the dog.

Mal never recovered. Even if it was an actress and it was a fake movie. I thought we might make it through one rewatchables without mentioning some terrible fate, be falling an animal. But no. You know, actually when they're going through

the Wednesdaysian and her out are going through the photos, we do get the casual, needless mention of the dead family pets. Could have done without it. Nothing made my wife more upset in a movie ever than the puppy pushed out the window and single-wave female.

And I include all other things that have happened in all other movies. It was the most tragic thing that's ever happened. Awful. That poor puppy. Anyway, I interrupted you. No, I was, I think we were trying to figure out what happened to Phoebe kids. Well, she got married to Kevin Klein and then she had kids. And I think she just seems like she's had a chill life.

She was in that weird Alan coming movie when he's married to Jennifer Jason Lee, ironically, and they have the party. Came out in the early 2000s. They have like this party and like, all hell breaks loose. and people start getting in fights with each other. She was in Gremlins. She was in Drop Dead. Gremlins is a big one.

Yeah, so that was her big one. The anniversary party. Is that what you were talking about? Yeah. Interesting movie. Her and Kelly Preston, want to redo those careers. So when you watch Stranger Things, which obviously is set in the 80s. Yeah.

And we've got, you know, sequences that are set at a video store and you walk in and it's like, there's a cardboard cut out of. Linda of Phoebe Cates in the bathing suit coming out of the pool in this movie, right? See, I needed, I needed Mao to bring this up because we need to talk about it. Okay, great. I'm prepared. You could do Great Shot Gordo this time. Actually, a few other contenders for Great Shot Gordo, but they also all involve sex.

The, really all of Stranger Things season three, like the setting at them all, obviously that's not, like, you know, horny and sexed up like this, but the pool sequences with Billy, like the number of nods and allusions to specifically Phoebe Cates in fast, and and how defining that would be for a generation of young people. Like, Brad jerking off in the bathroom, fantasizing about Linda, wet, drenched, stepping out of the pool, unbuttoning, unlatching, unfastening her bathing suit top. Her red bikini. This is, like, one of the most iconic stretches in the history of film, and I would like to ask you both today.

Is this the moment? the number one moment in the history of cinema that young men getting to know their own bodies and also cinema history have jerked off to over the course of time. Puberty H-D-H. Is this number one?

That's a good question. I'm so glad you brought this up and I didn't have to, so I didn't seem pervy. I think it's the most important nude scene of all time. Wow! Yeah, I do.

Oh my God. I didn't. I was prepared for this, so I'm trying to think like... That's on you. you, honestly. In the research, the actual research

on the blockbusters in the video stores, they said that this movie got paused so often on the Phoebe case. The tape started to wear on the VHS tapes when you rented it.

Yeah. It was the, I don't know what it would be another one. I mean, there was like famous nude scenes, like Lacey Underall and Caddyshack. You can go all the way through.

Yeah. Jamie Lee Curtis in dirty places. This was the famous one. Yeah. But it's weird because you also have to watch Judge Reinhold, working off. So it's a gamut of emotions.

Great, Shane. They've got you guy to fucking, is wearing the Pirates hat or did it take it off? Can you guys keep it down? I've got some work to do. Indeed. Yeah, Brad's got some work to do. Lundice sitting on the diving board. Oh, my God.

Were there not locks on doors in suburban homes in Southern California in 1982? Apparently not. It's going on there. Apparently not. Go to your bedroom, Brad. They just let everything roll right off their back there. Like, you know what we caught Brad jerking it? But it's okay.

Well, just like, maybe there are Q-tips elsewhere in this house. Yeah. Yeah, it feels like there was no follow-up scene. This is great that there wasn't social media because, like, Brad would not have lived this down. Yeah, tough one for Brad. Hashtag, hashtag poolhouse jerker, like, hashtag. But it's like we talked about in the past, there just wasn't a lot of porn back then and there wasn't a lot of nudity. All right.

Counterpoint. Have you seen Spacoli's bedroom? There wasn't a lot of porn. Every inch of his wall is covered in naming women. There was a nudie mag. There was no internet. There wasn't an internet, and like tapes were hard to come by. So the fact that did.

So you hear. Any nude scene in a mainstream movie carried pretty extra weight. Yeah. You know, that's the case. Craig, what are your thoughts? You want them now or do we want to say this? No, we'll save it for later. So Cameron Crowe said this movie was not very highly regarded by Universal.

And they didn't really know what they had. and there hadn't been a lot of success with high school movies. Fascinating. A lot of squirming in the seats during the screenings among studio executives. Universal executives, Ned Tannen and Sid Scheinberg, said they were worried about putting the future of the studio in the hands of movies like this. And then Ned Tannen said,

that's what Crow said, I'm putting the movie up or cutting the theaters down to 200. The movie came out. Everybody loved it. It became this belated little mini-hit. And then came. I mean, part of the problem with this movie was cable, some of the funniest lines get leaked out, cut out. You have Brad cleaning the mare in the bathroom and it just says eat crap or something.

Instead of what it really says. But yeah, this movie, the VHS was the big, but mid-80s, once VHS really became a thing, this went to a lot of them. It was really crazy because it's like they basically released this in the western part of the United States. that was it like because you know obviously it's set in san fernando valley but they put it out like in california with the intention of putting it on tv and putting it on video like immediately after and it just kind of caught on so even though it wasn't a huge box office sensation it definitely made its money back and more and then it obviously had legs going going forward but there's a really cool amy hackerling story about her it was in slate where she's like i was basically at my apartment and somebody called me

and was like you have to go down to a movie theater right now because it had been out for a couple weeks and she goes down and everybody is saying the dialogue back to the screen. And these are already people who have seen it like three times or whatever. And it's already becoming a cult classic. Well, people wonder sometimes why we have the rewatchables. Do they? And you know how that's saying about how? Well, like, why do we care?

How do we have so many movies? And there's a saying that you never love a movie as much as you love the movies when music when you were 13. Yeah. So just this summer as I'm turning 13, May 28, 1982, Rocky 3. Poltergeist is after that. E.T. The Thing. The best. Blade Runner.

World Accord and a Garp. Night Shift. Officer and a Gentleman. Last American Virgin. Friday 13th, Part 3, 3D. Saw that in the theater. I bet. First blood. You might have heard of it. Yeah.

And then we get to The Verdict 48 hours And obviously fast times But like I don't know There's not an accent These are most of my favorite movies

I don't know how we haven't done Word of Carnar Garp yet Where do you stand on that movie? I'm a fan of the movie End of the book We haven't done Blade Runner either by the way That's we're saving that one For what

That's like a two-parter I might not have to be on that one We're standing ready Am I like a sci-fi nerdy enough for that one? No, we should have replicant Bill do it. I was thinking the Star Wars anniversary is, would it be

weird if I hosted Star Wars with you and Vand but I just, I just tried to neg the entire movie? Yes. It would be weird. We could just battle about it? It's like, oh, we're in the desert for 10 minutes. Ten minutes. That would be amazing. Last act

of the rewatchables is movies you don't like but you know we have to do. So you're like, ah. All right. I'm like Draymond on Inside the NBA. Just ragging on players. I like Star Wars. It doesn't seem like he does. It's a rough hang.

Chris and I are ready for Blade Runner. We're ready. Fast times. LA is ready for Blade Runner. Five million dollar budget. It made $27 million. Sherman Oaks Galleria. Roger Ebert.

Do you know this, Craig? No. Get ready. Buckle up. Ladies and gentlemen, put your seatbelts on for Raj. Get into crash positions. Did people use? seat belts in 82? I don't know.

Definitely not. Roger, but one star. Rough. We all make mistakes. We air. Here's what he wrote. How could they do this to Jennifer Jason Lee? How could they put such a fresh and cheerful person into such a scuzz pit of a movie? Don't they know they have

a star in their hands? I didn't even know who she was when I walked in a fast time at Ridgemont High, and yet I was completely won over by her. She contained so much life and light that she was a joy to behold. And they And she and everybody else in this so-called comedy is invited to plunge into offensive vulgarity. I wonder if you ever rethought this.

Okay. Fuck you rush. That is just a wild thing. It's an all-time fucky rush. I don't understand it. Well, he walked it back, right? Did he? Yeah.

I think he did a later one where he's like, oh, I missed it. I was like one of those. I will say that those guys. Teenagers have sex. We're so prolific and we're probably writing like two to three reviews a week and we're watching like four or five movies. Like, I bet I could see sometimes you go and you're like, fuck this and write a one-star review. We're like, I'll never have to think about Sean Penn again. But it's like kind of weird to basically write your review from the perspective of Mr. Hand.

Are you all on dope? Yeah. But Roger was pretty young at this point. That's what's weird. I'm not like Raj doesn't, you know, Rodge wrote Valley of the Dolls, right? Yeah. That's bizarre. I'm surprised by that.

Gus Pitt. I'm surprised by that. Really hurt my feelings. We'll get over it. Raj, you know, never once in well. Even the grades could miss one. One star. How many one star movies have we done?

It's like the third one. From him? It's like barely. From him. Yeah. One star is shocking. Yeah. One star is like there is nothing redeemable about this movie.

Shoot it straight to hell. Yeah. And on that note, we'll take a break. This episode is brought to you by Spectrum Business. Fast, Reliable Internet. everything for your business and even this podcast. That's why I trust Spectrum business to keep companies of all sizes connected with internet, advanced Wi-Fi, phone, TV, mobile services, plus 24-7 U.S.-based support. Millions of business owners already trust Spectrum business. So visit

spectrum.com slash business to learn more. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list. Not one more. With Carvana, it is. Just go to Carvana.com and to your license plate or VIN and get a real offer down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises, just an experience you can trust. Like your offer? Accept it. Schedule pickup and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today. Pick up fees may apply. All right. Most rewatchable scene. The intro is unbelievable. The credits. Yeah. One of the better opening credit scenes.

Yeah. And the way it shot, we just cut. And I'm like, oh, Miss Pac-Man. Oh, and we're just going around pizza, get all the day. It's the ultimate 80s mall. I just love being there, and we got the beats playing by the go-goes. Fantastic music. You establish the setting that this is like the hub, the clubhouse given scale at large.

But it's a short movie. This is a 90-minute movie. Yeah. And to be able to, in the span of mere moments at the top, not only establish, This is kind of the flow of the social circle. This is how the kids spend their time. But who everybody is and what they do, right? Like, we get to see the Perry's pizza parlor pleasure den crew.

We get to see Des Moans scalping the tickets. We get to see how, like, rat looks across the mall and longs to be there. There's so much that we understand about the characters and their dynamics and the things they crave immediately. It's incredible. Between this and the next scene, which is everybody arriving at the first day of school, it's like there's more in those two scenes than a lot of movies have in the entire. entire runtime. I really, well, I have this coming up later.

First day, Mr. Hand's class is the next rewatchable scene. Sorry, I'm late. It's just like this new schedule is totally confusing. I know that, dude. Mr. Spicoli. That's the name they gave me. You're ripping my car. Yeah. Hey, bud, what's your problem?

No problem at all. I think you know where the front office is. You dick Unbelievable Yeah, I know that dude Mr. Hand where he's standing I'm Mr. Hansi are I'll get to him later

Oh Intriguing Ooh The Spacoli versus Mr. Hand is obviously the most important relationship in this movie The Goberyokic Yeah

The blowjob carrot scene I wrote down Mm-hmm Yeah slowly in and out you got it I ask you something and you promise not to laugh sure

when a guy has an orgasm how much comes out a quarter stuff no I'm just kidding just practice really really funny payoff really really funny scene and

we've seen a lot of scenes like this in cafeterias this is probably the best pulled off start to finish comedy scene. When you say Best pulled off. Best pulled off.

I like that a lot of the stuff that happens in this movie feels very easygoing. It's obviously very important with the characters but even when Stacey and Linda

get caught by like the rest of the cafeteria of what they're doing, they're just kind of like laughing along with it too. Yeah, everyone's on the same team. Yeah. They're a little embarrassed.

It wouldn't be like being taped on a cell phone now and be like, oh, I'm putting this on Instagram. Like my fake Instagram.

On his cell phone. Brad, Brad breaking up with Lisa with the mayor that says big hairy pussy on it. Iconic. Arguing with a customer about a refining guy fired.

Incredible. Awesome four minutes. I thought Brad was right. About the... Guy like 97% of the breakfast. Oh, that guy's like the original. I want to speak.

speak to the manager. He was obviously running a con on Brad. Definitely. Which is like, I just was a little undercooked. Ridiculous. Yeah. Also, do people still do the best thing you've ever had guaranteed or your money back? No, I think this movie ruined it. I love the exit from Brad, like, banging on the door, Arnold, you know, hope you had a great piss. You know, I will say there was an era because I remember Wendy's had an all you can eat buffet. And it was like competitive to be like, fuck you all you can eat. I'll be here for six. I'll be here for six hours. Just eat.

This is like literally a curb plot. No, I know. But like even like in the 80s. So like the idea of it being like if you don't like it or if you don't think it's the best breakfast you've ever had return it, I could definitely see some of my friends and I like being like, yeah, I didn't think it was the best I ever had. So I'll take my $2. Papagino's used to have an all you can eat pasta night.

And we used to take house. Oh my God. And there was like chemicals in the tomato sauce. So you're kind of high after like the sixth plate. Was he like mixing and matching? They would have, they add like little meatballs. No,

it was just basically like $6.99 all you can eat. And then we would each, we would all have like two plates. Yeah. And then we'd stay another hour and a half his house just kept eating. And they don't do that anymore, right? They started a pizza night,

but I think we ruined that because we ate all the pizza. Olive Garden had that. But I think they stopped. I think it's just all as many breadsticks as you want. I think Olive Garden still has the breadsticks. Yeah, right? bottomless breadsticks. Olive Garden should bring it back.

Was there anything that made you nostalgic about the fast food restaurants in this movie compared to what we have now? Of course. Yeah. And I don't really know what's different about them. Well, the mall food court was amazing. Yeah, I mean, less so Captain Hooks. The fish place? Yeah, that seemed not great based on Brad taking one bite and having to throw it out of his window.

I used to my dad and I would go to the McDonald's in the 30th Street train station in Philadelphia. as like special treat. Like we're going to go to get McDonald's tonight for dinner. Yeah. The all-American burger, definitely. It's like, and that also feels like so, like, so, very like American graffiti. Right. So central to like a high school experience.

You go, you get your burgers, you get your fries. Spacoli gets kicked out or yell that because he's not wearing a shirt, etc. Wonderful. Next thing I have. Demone's five-point plan. I have that. Same. First of all, rat.

You never let on how much you like a girl. Strong start, actually. I actually agree with that advice. Two, you always call the shots. Kiss me. You won't regret it. They're starting to get a little dicey. Now three, act like wherever you are. That's the place to be. Isn't this great? He's kind of like mining, is it? Four. When ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the ball for you.

It's a classy move. A lady will have the linguine and a white clam sauce and a Coke with no ice. No. Strong. Out. That's, we're now in a Harrison Bucker's term. Yeah. Now we're like, I know you're going to get a degree.

Mike DeVote's five point plan. Co-written with Harrison Bucker. And five. Now, this is most important, rat. comes down the making out whenever possible put on side one of Led Zeppelin 4 That's where it really falls apart That's incredible and then the cut

Is there ever been in the movies or in real life A guy who's like I have a five point plan And it doesn't sound like the work of Hannibal Lecter Like this is basically the early version of the dentist system And it's like No guy who's ever like here's my fourth. foolproof plan, the game, this. That guy's never hooked up with a girl.

Yeah, he's always going to get arrested for scalping Ozzy Osbourne tickets. I agree, but also like the alternate read on it is like from a certain point of view, you look at this and you're like, is this just Tony Stark? Right down to the left Zeppelin? Yeah, exactly. There is

like a billionaire playboy energy to it. Spacoli crashes Jefferson's car right into the football scene. Yeah. The football scene was a really important scene. I don't know if it's gained or it's lost impact over the years, but it made me so happy for the entire 80s. And I remember using it as a pop culture joke for columns for years about like he was like Jefferson after his car got totaled.

He's just like annihilating. And they're clearly filming these poor stuntmen. We're just like, okay, in action. And he's just killing the next guy. It's really fun to watch. It's also the first time we were like, is Picolia genius? Yeah. Not the last time, though.

Not the last time. Next scene. Uh-oh. Wow. Oh, my God, Chris. She's getting up from the pool. The pool scene. I agree with Mal's take that it is refreshing and watch two guys just show up at somebody's house and it wasn't like a misdemeanor.

Yeah. It's like, hey, guys, what are you doing? This entire sequence. Guys, what are you doing there? End? I think as soon as you had to text... Social media? Yeah, texting.

I think texting. Yeah, there's no excuse to, like, show up without knowing if someone wants to see you. Like, back when kids were just riding their bikes to each other's houses in the neighborhood, before you're driving, you're still doing that all the time, but now it's like, are you around? Up through, like, Blackberries and starting to text better, I still would just be like, at 5 o'clock, there would be, like, an email thread that was like, hey, we're going to go to this bar at 8 in New York. and it was just assumed you'll be at that bar until two.

Yeah. And people will come and go and go get pizza or come back or go to the movies and come back. But like this bar will be the central location. Right. So just come and go as you please. And texting made it a lot more like, I'm 15 minutes late. Actually, it's busy here.

Do you guys want to meet somewhere else? Right. All that sort of stuff. Right. Yeah. The poll sequence, like even before the guy show up and before Brad gets there and before the, iconic Phoebe Kate's stretch.

The rate your mate magazine quiz part of it is also, really underrated part of this wonderful stretch of the movie. Like, do you always climax with Doug? Do you always climax with Doug? Yes. I think so. There's no high school boy. Do you always climax with Doug?

Yeah. I think so. Like, it's just the best. I also like the house It's like such a classic Valley House Yeah The pool is like almost inside the house It's so close to the thing

And it and it's just sunny And it just fell valleyish to me This is a weird thing to write My rewatchable's notes But the abortion day scene is really good Yeah It's just well handled The Stevie Nick song is good

It's Brad showing up there It's like Brad's first redeemable act in the movie It's like ah what a good brother Yeah I'm glad he's looking out for. That's also like the, I don't, I don't have any siblings, but that is like a really awesome, like, sibling moment where it's like, yeah, you guys aren't like friends, but like at a point you'll look out for the person. And there's a few of those, like hiding flowers, right, et cetera. Like the fact that this is a big brother who's, again, not judgmental, he's not preachy, but he's like, you can kind of come to me if you need to make sure that mom and dad don't like know about Ron Johnson's any flowers.

Please don't tell mom and dad. And he's like, obviously. Yeah. There is still that like, hey, we are siblings. He's more like, I want to pound, like, I want to kick whoever did this is ass. Yeah. Yeah. In the deleted scenes, there's a couple more with them.

There's where the relationship's a little deeper. Yeah. They cut it out because, you know, this was 90-minute movie era. In and out, just like DeMond. Mr. Hand shows up at Spicoli's house. You wasted a total of eight hours of my time this year. And rest assured that. That is a kind of estimate.

Now I have the unique pleasure of squaring our account. Tonight, you and I are going to talk in great detail about the Davis Agreement, all the associated treaties, and the American Revolution in particular. It's just really funny. Like, oh, my God, what's going to happen with this? You took eight hours of my time. Yeah. The robbery? Yeah.

My shit, headlitz. No towels, man. Hamilton. right into the closing credits fantastic I like the movies and I don't know this movie didn't start it

I don't know if Stripe started or who started it but where they have the cards at the end of what happened everybody and they're making fun Animal House maybe started it takes away the Z-Won-N-A award but yeah yeah yeah yeah

you can't speculate as much but the closing montage is fantastic what do you have for most rewatchable now well you can't believe you don't have Mike and Stacy fuck in the changing room on here makes me too uncomfortable

it's not rewatchable what Yeah, I don't like it. What? The camera hovering over Demone's quivering lilac socks as he comes in 0.2 seconds? Like, I really got to go, Stee's. I really got to go. Didn't you feel it?

That's like maybe the best line of the movie. I think I came. Didn't you feel it? It's like this, you can't have the movie without that moment. It's unbelievable. Didn't you feel it? She's like, uh. That's your most rewatched scene?

No. No. I can't believe we went through the category without mentioning it. I had it in a later spot, but that's fine. My most-re-watchable scene is the pool scene. Okay. Absolutely. Yeah, it's the pool scene.

The only one I have that you didn't have is rat's date with Stacey. Yeah, the not-horse date. I have that, too. And sitting in the big chairs. Can we just get two more coax? Yeah, they keep ordering because he doesn't have his wallet. I always love that. Great stuff.

Woods age the best. 90-minute movies. Wild. 90-minute movies set over the course of a school year. school year is Craig were you just in disbelief I need to go back to a different time the 80s man

every movie was like an hour 40 It's just so awesome It's amazing They do Their first day of orientation It's fucking Christmas Like 15 minutes later It's like 90 minutes with credits

Yeah Yeah Mall movies Yes Also Yeah We should have had like Five six eight more mall movies

And I don't know What everybody was doing The mall is a setting It's just absolute perfection So then the third thing I have is 90-minute mall movies which takes the best. What do you, FCR?

Oh, man. Judge Reinhold doing a monologue into a mirror with the graffiti that says big hairy pussy. That's my great shot, Gourne. I got to say, the record store in the mall licorice pizza.

Yeah. That's where we hear the five-point plan. Yeah, and Linda and Stacy's older younger sister dynamic is great. Like, their friendship is, you don't like it. No, I do. I think Linda was leading her astray.

I really like it. I've got some thoughts coming up in the... Okay. ...what's age is the worst on some of the specific counsel. Would you have for what stage is the best? We had a lot of them. The soundtrack, the genre, the girls being just as horny as the guys, the mall as the setting. The cast, Spikoli.

Oh, the notebook. Getting glimpses of, like, kids who have notebooks that they're writing in by hand. And DeMone actually has abortion written on the note... Do you remember what's right below it? Rod... Abortion, $75. Right below it. Next line.

you aren't $60. Like, to get to glimpse that, and then we get to see Stacey's notebook elsewhere, and she's, you know, writing out all the different versions of, like, Mrs. Stacey, Des Moan. I know. And the pro-conless for Desmond and under Convergent, question mark. Just wonderful stuff. Absolutely wonderful stuff.

The end credits the runtime. Yeah, we've hit it all. I have some more. Mike's room. The posters. Take a second here. Devo, Elvis Costello, the tattoo you poster is incredible. So for the entirety of, like, my life.

Teenagers' rooms never look real. Because you watch a Law & Order episode and they go into some guy's room and he's got like a helmet poster up or whatever, like a tool poster and it's like, this kid didn't listen to Tool. Like, what are you talking about? Or it's just one poster and that's it.

And it's like, Des Moan's room maybe the most realistic teenager room I've ever seen. Right down to the mini bar stocked with Kalua. This would have been a good list. But you know what? That Kalua was the key drink because it tasted sweet. Yeah.

Absolutely. Almost famous. The kid, Williams room is good, too, with all the music posters. Mike DeMone, I had for Wood's age the best,

just the Hall of Fame slees. Yeah. Where you kind of like them, but these, ah, fucking asshole, I hate this guy.

But you're kind of like, you can see why other people. Did you have a bookie in your high school? I have no comment. Is that where you learned about the 14 boys' spread? You think they're going to revoke your fucking

diploma? No comment at all. Wait, I have a lot more Demone questions for this, though. Okay. What's age the best? Those VW vans?

Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. The guy code? Not in enough movies. Where Domeone, it's like you just know he's a scumbag Because of how he handled the whole thing. Yeah.

And they mentioned the guy code. I don't remember if the guy code had been in a lot of movies before that. But this was a very important guy code movie. But he violated it. That was the point. Then he also lets him off Scott Free at the end. This is a picking knit for me. I don't think rat forgives

Dumont that quickly. Rats got everything going for him, you know? I don't think it is either. I love when the kid says about Jefferson, wow, does he really live here? I thought he just flew in for games. Amazing.

I love also the little Demone thing is Demone insisting him and Jefferson are tight. It's like, that's my man. My God, I hope to pick out that car. And then the, Damone says, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her?

Which was advice Cameron Crow got from Glenn Fry. Is it really? And put it right in the movie. Right down to member of the honor roll. Like listing member of the honor roll is one of his qualifications is so funny to me. I love that. What's age the best, you're not going to be surprised.

Sean Penn and Stoltz and Anthony Edwards were actually smoking pot in the van as they exited for the prom. Yeah, method acting. They method acted the shit out of that. And then Spicoli's surfing title fantasy Which ends up with Stu Nahan Or the Rocky movies adding to his legendary IMDB

But it was supposed to be Johnny Carson Which is a Woods Age the Best that Johnny Carson said I am turning that down And Ed was like, yes sir, turn it down Spicoli's room I also like But then the last one I have for Wood's Edge the best Is they all sniff the Xerox copies Which is the thing we did in the 80s

It had a certain smell and it made you like a time tiny bit high. Yeah, because it was from the ditto machine. Yeah. Yeah. It was like doing a whip it,

but probably, probably safer. Incredible. Great shot Gordo, who'd you have? Do you know what I had? I thought that was the pause that gordo. Remind that gordo.

Dennythee's Benihano Award. Did you have a, did you disagree with that? Great shot gordo. I mean, that's the, I think that's the, big hairy pussy was one of my nominees. And I think also the,

From Stacey's perspective, shot of stereo guy Ron Johnson, like, like transforming into a bassist because he arches his neck and head at the point is genuinely, genuinely wonderful. Dennethys, Benny Hanna, where it seems still in location, obviously, the mall. Has to be. Kid, Connie Pursuit a happiness to where Best Need a job. American Girl. I got American. I think it's American Girl.

Yeah. And then. It's so sick when he's pulling into the parking lot. Unbelievable. Yeah. Big Cooner Burger where best use of food and treat. the pizza delivery because we get to see the pizza The pizza looks good.

Taylor Negron. Oh yeah. Okay, Taylor. The pizza is nice and greasy and it's like looks good. Double cheese and sausage. Butch's girlfriend were a weak link of the movie. What do you got here?

I actually don't have a weak link for this movie. I think that... I have one to carry it for all three of us. Okay. What do you got? What do you have? I'm afraid to say it. I think you're going to be mad at me.

No, go. You've already mentioned that the Jefferson football sequence is an important part of the Bill Simmons canon. I didn't say it was a good football sequence. It's not even that that part I actually really like, right? You're trying to track the tackles and the sacks. Like watching the opposing Lincoln players Twitch on the ground. It reminds me now of like the murder football sequence and bottoms.

Yeah. I actually love that scene. I love the spirit bunnies mentioned. But there's not been enough sports in the movie to have that sports presence. It's like it feels to me very like high school. the jocks, the sports. We've got to check that box to flesh out what the complete high school experience is.

And I actually think the sports stuff that is in there is so great. I want a little bit more of it. Like seeing Spicoli and the bleachers at the football game is an unbelievable moment. Yeah. I just want more of that. Yeah.

So you wanted like a Friday night pep rally before the game. Just like a couple other moments where, yeah, they're at games. We only in 90 minutes, Mal. I have to rip through this thing. We had to get nine months of school. Well, you should, the sequel prequel answer should be like Friday Night Lights, but at Ridgemont with these characters. Jefferson just reconnoe.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I want to see them in the gym shooting hoops for a few minutes before the rat Demone locker room fight, you know? My weak link. To pump Mike DeMone. Like, what the fuck? You're a ticket scopper. You're a cool kid on campus. But this is why it's genius. What the hell? So I have my premature ejaculator Mount Rushmore. Can we make a pyramid? Yes, we do. Can we make a pyramid? No, it's a mount I came too fast more.

Forrest Gump, obviously, which we broke down in detail. DeMone Mountain. Mike DeMone. Jim Carver and Ice Storm in the key party. Hoping on Joe and Allen there for about four pumps. And that was it. And then Jim Levinson, American Pie. That's right.

That's it. I think Forest is George Washington. Number one. Forrest is MJ. Yeah. Number one. I think Mike DeMone's probably Kareem because he was kind of a little bit villainy. Jim Levinston, American Pie, definitely LeBron, and then Jim Carver and Ice Storm, I don't know who he is.

What do you think would happen just to you, to this company, if we took what you just said and put it at the top of your Yokic pod tonight? And we're going to get to game six in a minute. But first, the all-time Mount Rushmore premature ejaculators. So I was trying to think. Those were the four of my head and I tried to Google it to see if there was more. And just some horrible things came up. Yeah. What was the exact search for me?

I used premature ejaculator movies and then that was a mistake. Jesus Christ, Phil. You got to have that banner somebody. That was a mistake. Yeah. Listen, there's some porn fetish sites that came up. Frankly, I was surprised by it. Oh, my God.

So then I added Forest Gump. I used my iPad, Forrest Gump. I put Forrest Gump, Mike DeMone, premature ejaculator movies. Oh, my God. It still didn't work. Yeah. There's really, there wasn't, I was disappointed. Well, if anybody's listening or watching on YouTube, they can leave in the comments, some of the great premature guys.

How was, how did a beach report not do this during the bleach report list era? They couldn't have done a top 20? A slide show. Different photos. It's possible that it exists. It's just sort of a very competitive SEO field. So who lasted longer, Forrest Gump or Mike Domeone? Oh, DeMone.

DeMone. DeMone. Yeah. DeVos she like raises a nipple. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. And that's it.

Forrest was like under a second. Yeah. Forrest is just like... There's no penetration for Forrest. I don't even think Forrest understands what's happening. That's what was just a problematic situation in none of itself. But, Demone at least is like...

Demone makes it onto the court. You know, he throws the powder up in the air like LeBron, walks out on the court. Too pump Mike DeMone. Is it two pumps? I don't know. You think it's like one? Yeah, I think we're at like just the tip.

You should Google how many pumps for Mike Demons? I'm going to do that later. I knew Matt would enjoy it. Watch this Google stuff? Oh, no! It was a mistake. I should have been more specific. I was moving fast and it just was a mistake.

Some things came up that I can't see. Why is there so much rushing on my computer now? I'm going to Google stuff on Twitch for the next hour if you guys want to watch. I was like, oh my gosh. I was like George D. George D. Hartcraft. I was like, oh, my God. Unbelievable. What's age is the worst?

Going back to high school undercover as an adult, I'm pretty sure you can't do that anymore. Yeah. That's of a moment in the time. Yeah. For sure. So this might just be me personally. But Jennifer Jason Lee post single-wave female, she's so traumatic in that movie as a character that when I see her in other movies, I can't unwind the character.

You could probably say the idea of. having a 19-year-old be nude multiple times in a major Hollywood movie probably wouldn't happen. So what's age the worst? Well, it just is like... Pretending to be a 15-year-old? There's a real like, are these Game of Thrones characters?

Yeah. Quality to all of that. Yeah. 1982 abortion, $75 in a ride. That was one of the themes of this movie. I don't know if it's aged that great. I feel like we've had more dialogue about the concept sense.

I would say that this. movie just like takes abortion at face value like in a way that's $75 at a red lots of movies afterwards are like really dancing around or can't say it out loud like yeah like knocked up it's not like knocked up like gets into it the way that this movie does yeah definitely smoking's upstairs to the left in the movie theater CR was like you have it like fucking I love 1980 can you imagine CR's like let's go to the movies up and to the left oh my God what do you have

For what's age the worst, Mel? My first what's age the worst is Bill Googling guys who came to quickly movies. No, there was premature ejaculation movies. And for some reason, I didn't add stuff. Oh, my God. I did it too fast and bad things happened. Movie characters who were bad at sex.

Meta, I did it too fast and bad things happened. Yeah. Next thing you do. I premature Googled. Okay. Here's my first, what's age the worst. I agree. I think the Linda, Stacey relationship and friendship is really nice.

They empower each other. They support each other. I think that some of the actual counsel that Linda imparts to Stacey is lacking, right? And some of it is like, if he says anything remotely funny, just laugh, like that stuff, right? Or Stacey, what are you waiting for? You're 15 years old. Okay. we would be derelict in our duty if we made it through this podcast without saying out loud

that Linda's blowjob advice is lacking. It's lacking, right? Here's what she says. I wasn't prepared for this. There's nothing to it. It's so easy. Relax your throat muscles. Don't bite.

I mean, okay. And slide it in, push it slowly in and out. You got it. Now she's using the skinny little carrot, this feeble little carrot. Right? Malad, what are you doing next film room before? Poor Doug. Like, Doug must be a pencil dick.

This is a, if Doug is real, which I'm not so sure, then we've learned something. Something troubling here about Doug. And so has the entire cafeteria for Doug, right? Go get a cucumber or something, right? No, no commentary. You don't have to make eye contact with me. It's okay. No commentary on, like, tongue technique or.

varying pressure or pace. It's just like you're supposed to be a friend and a guide on the journey of life. And this is just simply not sufficient counsel. I'm sorry. I just want to say I'm so glad Van isn't here because this could have been the final rewatch of his episode. Yeah, she doesn't offer any advice on the balls. It's not sufficient. You're right.

It was a rudimentary lesson. Terrible. Do you know what my next, what's age of the worst one was? This moment right here. Switching to sake. Oh, yeah. I had that down too. What does switching to Sanka mean?

Was that tea? Decaf? The decast. The decath. I can't remember what Sanka was. Sanka's like the sob of beverages. I think Sanka respectfully probably tastes like old barbecue coals. Yeah.

I don't ever remember having Sanka. What else did you have now? You have more Linda stuff? Jesus Christ. I'm good. You sure? I feel like you have one more in there. No, no, no, I'm good.

The Pat Benatar look is aged the worst. Yeah. Even though it in the moment was tremendous, but I don't know if anyone, like, there's no way Craig knew what that meant. I knew what that meant. Scalpers? Mm-hmm. Scalpers and bookies.

Yeah, scalpers and cookies. The internet really wiped those guys out. Why does Perry's pizza look so gross and awful? The pizza looks terrible. It's like Detroit-style square pizza and it looks like there's no cheese on it. It just looks gross. Yeah. So, wait, but Perry's isn't what Spacoli gets delivered.

No, Perry's Pizza is where the girls work. Yeah. So he's going to a rival shop. Yeah, of course. He knows. He knows what to order. He doesn't get pizza than they. Just all this talk of pizza.

How about Wood Sage the worst? Teenage girls named Linda. I love all the names. Linda. Linda. Lisa, Stacy. These are these. It's a great call.

There's no Linda's. If you're born named Linda, you're just immediately 40. Yeah. Yeah. I knew, I knew A. Linda once in my life, but it was an adult. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. My aunt Linda is my godmother. She's 78. Yeah. See, there you go. Everybody's got an old Aunt Linda. There's

a Nancy Wilson cameo in this movie that they kind of zoom by. She's the girl in the car who sees the Judge Reinhold is driving by when he's like... She's got an unusual, not like her typical heart hairdo, so it's hard to recognize it. When he has somehow forgotten that he's wearing a pirate hat. Yeah.

And then this is a big one. He often does. Maybe we should just have a rewatchable's category called I'm older than you. And then I do something like this. But DeMone has these circle pins with band pictures on his jacket. Okay. He had two and it was like, I don't know who the bands were. This was a big thing specifically in 1982 and 1983. They're not bands.

Yeah, but they were bigger though. Oh, like bigger ones? A little bigger. But I remember I had a U-2 one and I had men at work. but this was like a thing and then it just went away and it never happened again but for two years

this was the thing people used to put band pins on their career bags jackets they still do the fashion in general is great yeah great what's age the worst

there was a 1986 television series titled fast times and they got Ray Walsston and Vincent Skiavelli to play hand in Vargas and then Patrick Dempsey was Mike DeMuh did not last

this isn't the research I'm sure you guys saw this that for his masturbation scene, Judge Reinhold brought a large dildo to work with, unbeknownst to the rest of the cast, and that's why Phoebe Cates' look of horror and disgust is so real.

I don't know if I believe this. When you were researching this, did you Google large dildo movies? I did Judge Reinhold Dildo. I just did large dodo pool scene, and nothing came up. That's because your computer's been taken over. Oh, my God.

And then there's a way worse poolhouse sex scene. where she shows everybody naked, including him, and she was really wanted every, and they gave it an X rating, and they had to cut some. Yeah. They weren't ready for Cox in 1982, apparently. Any other, what's age of the worst?

We're moving on. Okay. What do you got for the Ruffalo, Hannah Rubinich Partridge overacting word? They knew, and they let it happen. Don't you call me, lady. I come in here. I give these things to you.

Give it all you got! Give it all you got! I treated you like a son! You fucking stand me in the heart! Fuck you! I got Kelly Moroni, who's the cheerleader, who's like, we're going to kill Lincoln next week. All right!

But the runner-up would be James Rousseau. Oh. Yeah. Interesting. I had Mark Ratner getting mad at Desmond in the locker room. He tries to dial it up a little bit. I don't know if he had it in him. We weren't dealing with Pachie.

know on this one. Interesting. You're a bad friend. Was there a better title for this movie? No. Can you dig it a word from most memorable quote?

Relax your throat muscles. It's no huge thing. It's just sex. It's kind of semi-theme of this movie. I had what Jefferson was saying is, hey, you know, we left this England place because it was bogus.

So if we don't come, if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, Pronto, we'll just be bogus too. Pearls of wisdom from Spicoli always. All I need are some tasty waves of cool buzz, and I'm fine. The Sierra thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Fordhoutest take a word. Mr. Hand's a pretty good teacher. What?

Yeah, I mean, like, Spacoli by the end of the night is spitting out stuff about Jefferson. I feel like he was for U.S. history in high school is getting pretty deep into some legislation that I frankly didn't know about. and I think that maybe we got away from what worked in American education and we should have more Mr. Hands less Montessori. I don't have kids. I don't really know if mine is the hottest take

but it does pair interestingly. It's like a foil take to yours which is just that I think Spicoli is a genius and a scholar. Like he's presented as adult but when he says isn't it like our time? Right?

isn't it? He has a philosophy on life that is keen and astute and, like, he is able to identify something essential about the human experience. And to your point about him rattling off true facts about history, I don't know, I was watching what they were all filling in on their multiple choice bubbles on whatever those forms used to be called. And he was writing Jeff and then doodling circles around it and all lines. So I don't know that he was absorbing that insight necessarily from Mr. Hand. I think he just understands life. People on Ludes should not drive. right? You already noted that he's able to pull off the car scam flawlessly. If we don't get some cool rules ourselves pronto, we would be bogus too. Is like his view on the world and his view on history does nothing to do with Mr. Hand. Mr. Hand didn't teach him shit. Yeah, but he thought of who Jefferson was. He knew what truancy meant. When Mr. Hand said truancy, Spicoli knew what that meant, which I think tells us.

So your thing is, your hottest take is Jeff Spicolini as Steve. secretly smart. Yeah. Genius. I think I'm going to win hottest take this round. We should have, we should have Craig decide who had the best hottest take every episode. Ron Johnson. Audio sales.

Child Predator. Yeah. Is that a hottest take or just a fact? 26 year old guy. That's a fact. Eating meatball subs by himself in a mall. Yeah. Kidding on teenagers?

How old are you? Oh, I'm 19. Are you sure you're 19? Also, he's like, let's go to my high school baseball dugout. Yes. That. He doesn't have his own apartment? He goes to the point, which is where it's established.

Because, like, Brad asked Lisa about it. That's where the high school kids go to hook up. Yeah. Predator. Yeah. Ron Johnson. Not just the stare at a salesman. Deserves to go to jail.

Then sends flowers, memories of you, Ron Johnson. It's like, she's not dead. You can just call her. Also, this is a pick-a-knit, but how did he know where she lived if she didn't tell him where she lived? Yellow Pages? And met him at a secret location, so she wasn't. in front of her house. Ron Johnson.

Casting what ifs. You mentioned the David Lynch thing. That was who Universal recommended and they decided to comprehend. It would have been a much darker movie. It would have been a much darker movie. It's astonishing alternate history that I can't wrap my mind around. You can just see like a quart of jizz flying around in this one.

David Lynch got his kids off. Yeah. I see, I thought this was a crazy one. Justine Bateman was offered Linda Barrett and turned it down because she had family ties. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Because she was another iconic 80s.

That's where we got the name Mallory. Yeah, Mallory. Think about that. Maybe you're not Mallory. That would be great. Perhaps my parents would never have seen Mallory on family ties and would have picked a different name. Maybe they would have been Linda.

I think she would have been a good Linda, though. Me too. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Two other massive ones. Yeah, two massive ones. Nick Cage was supposed to be Brad Hamilton. It was too young.

They decided he was too young. And then, so there's a Matthew Bradrick piece of this. Yeah. That the correct version of it is that they really wanted them in the movie and couldn't figure out a part. But then as the years passed, it morphed into they wanted them as Spicoli. Yeah. And I don't think that part's true. I think they really liked them and they couldn't figure out where to put them. And then Penn read for Brad and Spicoli, I think, which is funny, what if, like if he plays Brad.

Interesting. The big one for me was Jody Foster. Stacy. Yeah, did you believe that, though? Well, I believe that she was like,

it was offered to her and she decided she was going to stay at college. It would definitely be a weird role. She's obviously also not afraid of doing pretty, like, boundary pushing stuff. Like it in L.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Other people auditioned, Ali Sheedy, Meg Tilly, and Ralph Machio. And then they offered

Fred Gwyn the role of Mr. Hand, but he thought the movie was too nasty. Fred Gwynn, Herman Munster back in the day. Eventually, it was in my cousin, Vinnie. And that's it. Best that guy award, would you go with Taylor, Taylor the Pizza Guy or Vincent Skiyavli?

Vincent Ski-Vell. Okay. Mr. Vargas, yeah. Who then just continues to play this role from that point on. Dionne Waiter's Award. Is Mr. Hand eligible? I think he's in too much of it. I got much.

Whitaker. Yeah, I have Jefferson. Rousseau or Stoltz. I have Stoltz. Stoltz. Quietly great. He's so awesome. Quietly great.

I vote for Jefferson. And another Clint Howard, Stoltz, is just in another Cameron Crow thing here. Right. Yeah. Well, I think that's why he's a Cameron Crow. I think that's how it started because he was in it. Recasting Couch.

I don't love Brad's girlfriend, and she's been in a bunch of movies from the 80s, and I never got it. It was one of those. It was like, you know, Derek Carr. It's like, eh. So who do you think is the... Can you think of go nine and eight?

Like, why don't we got a real quick? quarterback here. Kelly Preston's right there, guys. It's a bunch of good ones who could have had. I don't know. I just never got it with her. She's in, she has some big roles in the 80s. Okay.

It felt like she's just getting put in the Dana Wheeler Nicholson category with you. What did you have? For recasting couch, I mean, I just was obsessed with the lynch part. So I was just thinking about that. Tony Romo or Chris Collinsworth or director's commentary.

I'll do the Romo and then you're going to do Collinsworth Yeah Go ahead I can't wait for this Brad's going to the bathroom Jim He doesn't want piece of choir for no reason Jim That window looks right out of the pool Jim

Would you have, Bell Roma or Collinsworth Jim She said Doug last 20 to 30 minutes Jim But she previously said 30 to 40 minutes Jim I'm going to hear your Romo in my fucking nightmares. It's Tony Robo that I. Oh, Mike, you got to pay for your half of the abortion.

Stacey's being reasonable. Oh, my God. She just needs a ride. No, she's just around $75, Mike. That's a deal. Have faster internet research. Mall scenes filmed at Sherman Oaks Galleria. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. After hours. Poor Collinsworth. The high school scenes took place at Van Nuys High School. So Crowe based Mark Ratner on this student, Daddy hung out with Andy Ratbone, who then wrote a lot of the Four Dummy's books, which I thought was interesting.

Jennifer Jason Lee, she worked at the Sherman Oaks Gallery Perry's Pizza restaurant for three weeks to get ready. So apparently Perry's Pizza existed. Not there anymore. Not sure what happened to Perry. Phoebe Kates was a teen model who appeared on the cover of 17 magazine four times

and then went into acting. And then Lana Clarkson is in this movie as Vincent Ski-Avelli's wife. Yeah. She's the lady that Phil Spectre, murdered. Sorry. 21 years.

It's not funny. Please cut that. It's wrong with you. I honestly didn't know that. That was who it was. And I was like, I thought she was going to be in like born or something. We have to keep it. But yeah, she murdered by Phil Specter.

When is this pot running? Did you know when you scheduled it, it would be the last episode? The last episode. Maybe we'll save it for the last one. Oh my God. She's in the credits courtesy of Phil Specter International, which is weird.

That's dark. Yeah. Let's take a break and regroup. This episode is brought to by Whole Foods Market. Spring is here, so celebrate it with fresh, juicy, seasonal produce and some very tasty limited time flavors. New Whole Foods, Market Peach, Apricot, Rose, Italian soda.

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problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia if you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulfonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor. Call 1-800-545-99 or visit Zepbounds.lily.com. All right, Apex Mountain. I'm not not giving Sean Penn, but what about young Sean Penn? So what would this be? Where's the TAPS?

Like 81-85 Sean Penn. Oh. Yeah. Would you go here or bad boys? Is at close range in? It's too late. After. Yeah.

I go this. Yeah. I think this is a bigger of bad boys. Yeah. Phoebe Cates. Yes. Probably, yeah. Jennifer Jason Lee, no.

But what is it? She's a hard one for Apex Mountain. I'd probably say Did she win an Oscar? Ever? I don't know the answer. It feels like she's been in our lives for like 100 years.

Single-way female was a big movie. What about that Jason Patrick movie? Rush? Rush was awesome. She was in backdraft. Early 90s, I felt like was her moment. It's somewhere in there. Masturbation scenes?

We've probably done better. No. Van Halen tickets? I'm not Googling it. I'll tell you that. Van Halen tickets? Scalping in movies? Scalping movies I have.

Yeah. Mall movies? It's this mall rats. I think it's this for mall movies. Okay, I think so. Valley movies? So this are boogie nights. Yeah.

Boogie nights ones. How about the 1973 AMC Gremlin? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Jefferson's car. 1979, Chevrolete Camaro Z-28. Yeah. Yeah.

Tom Petty's songs in a movie? Free Fallen and Jerry McGuire? Free Fallen, what's that? It has to be free fallen. All right, it's time. Cruiser, Hanks. Well, Hanks. Wasn't it offered to Hanks?

Isn't Hanks in the mix for Brad? And then he winds up doing Bachelor party? It's a tough one. We've never had a Cruiser Hanks where there's no star of the movie. So it's almost like you got to go with Brad. I like to think about like Cruz playing Spicoli because Cruz and Penn were like neck and neck right around here. I think, I don't know if he could have done it.

I almost think Cruz as Ratner would have been more interesting. He just could have gone Joel Goodson-ish. I mean, Cruz's DeMone would have been amazing. That would have been incredible. Oh my God. He wouldn't have done the two-pump Mike though. He saw that part of the script.

He's like, I'm out. Tom Cruise has to last. Until Stanley Kubrick was like, let's revisit that. Yeah. Yeah, it's Hanks. I think it's Hanks as Bradford. Yeah. Score is 5 to 5.

Great. Wow. Racehorse Rock Band Wrestler Fantasy Team name All American Burgers I got Ron Johnson Audio consultant as my racehorse

My racehorse is The Attitude Oh The way that's The attitude Picking Nits Why didn't Rat go for it With Stacy after the first date?

What happened there? I assume he creamed his pants And had to run out of there They didn't do the forest gum Like he didn't do any convulsion though I rewounded it to see. It seemed like he was trying to play cool,

but I just didn't understand his motivation. I think he's just very nervous. Right. Like he liked her too much? He was not expecting that sex would be on offer, right? She's immediately, like, in the bathrobe. They're in her bed, and he's just simply not prepared. So he has to whip out, if not his penis,

then the story about his sister needing the car. No comment when the tape deck was stolen about how mad his sister would be. So, yeah, he just, seems to be panicking. What was the age difference between Linda and Stacy and would Linda actually hang out with Stacy?

I think Stacy's supposed to be a sophomore and Stacy is supposed to be a junior or a senior? Stacy's 15 and a sophomore and yet Linda's a couple years older?

Linda's in Brad's year, right? So Brad's his last year so he's a senior but she's talking about her fiancé Doug so why is she engaged? But she's got to be a senior

because she's the letter right about how Doug is not coming to her graduation, right? Right, so she's a senior because it doesn't exist. sophomore. The age gap and

it's not that I think they wouldn't be friends, but like they seem to only be together. Like they're the other girls they're hanging out with at Perry's, but they're sitting together at lunch. It does, yeah, like...

I feel like she would have other friends. Her own friend of like really hot girls in her class that would just hang out at the cafeteria. What do you have, CR? I just think Demone's got to have more of a cash backstop, you know? Like, he's operating on a lot of credit

for a kid in high school. And he's got like all these chits out with these kids he's just like, hey man, remember Van Heelan? And it's like, you gotta have $75 bucks if you're Mike Demone, right? Yeah, you have $700 under your pillow. Yeah.

I mean, who knows? Maybe he's propping up his dad's garage with it, but, and then just, rats not getting over, Demone, getting Stacey pregnant. That's the big one. Just rat for giving him way too quickly. Way too quickly.

We already talked about, like, why would Ron Jodzza go to the point specifically? This is a little, one is a little bit more serious, but I do think Stacey seems quite calm about being pregnant at 15. Little too, like, matter of fact. You're absolutely right. Yeah.

But watching it, it's kind of refreshing to see, like, people kind of take life as it comes. That part, absolutely. I feel like we're missing, like, a scene. Yeah. Where she is a little bit more. So I think they have the scene. I think it was one of the deleted ones. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Would employee of the month? Brad Hamilton be fired for that interaction with the customer. And who did he beat out as employee of the month? They had like three people there. I know.

And half of them he's brought on. Like it's like he... Was the Lake Halimar won AFC North player of the month like 19 times? Get out of here. Get out of here. Two and five in the playoffs.

Adam did ask me to mention as a blue oyster cult enthusiast, he was offended by the notion that Des Moan would not have been able to move the blue oyster colt tickets. I do feel like the popularity in early 80s.

82 might have been away from Little Oyster Cote, though, a little bit. But I obviously respect Adams. So there's some... Picking Nits. There's some picking nits with the Led Zeppelin song because it's not on Led Zeppelin 4. It's on physical graffiti.

Yeah. And Cameron Crowe said there was a publishing snafu. So they had to get that other song instead. But then people who were die-hard Led Zeppelin fans took it as a joke that he thought Led Zeppelin 4 was... that he just basically had the wrong album. Here's my biggest one. I can't believe you guys didn't mention this.

I was going to give it to either of you. You both missed it. I feel like you would have had it five years ago. Why does Linda have enough carrots for a family of 12? Did you feel like we would have had it five years ago? When we were all at our peaks. We have Christmas scenes. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Yeah. And then we have the big football game. Yeah. The fucking football season ends in like early November in California. There's a lot of like season. We're not even close. We're like three.

like that? We're like three months after the football season. Because football season ends at Thanksgiving, basically, right? Here, it's like, yeah, mid-November. They play Thanksgiving football on the East Coast, so I don't know. I'm just saying. This is October, November for football. All the football stuff should have happened in the first part of the movie, and they just

missed it. Yeah. It's been annoying me for like really since the early 90s. They also have like the hot summer swim day, right? Just you and I, just since we missed that? Listen, I missed it too for years. I'd like to make sure that I give you all the much. I was where you guys were.

I was scheduled to make, though. I don't want to, I don't want to, like, take anything else from this company. You didn't notice that, though? It didn't occur to me. Because this movie isn't, like, conventionally structured where it's just, like, it has, like, a date, like, a second act. There's something about the way it's sequenced where it's, like, you know, the, the rat, Stacey date. We know that they're going to the pool. They're crashing her house to go to the pool after the date, right?

If you mess up a date, try again. So we know that that's actually happening in the right order. It's not like the scenes have been flipped, but it's like, 100 degrees in swimming weather. Well, it's the valley. But a minute after Christmas, even the valleys. I think there's like a Spikoli part of the movie that they kind of rearranged to go earlier and later in the movie, but it takes place earlier.

I was too distracted by Linda and Stacey slicing the giant salami at Perry's with the with the rapper on. While they're talking about how long guys can left. Yeah. Yeah. Art Linton, who was one of the producers' movie and wrote that book. that's really fun, which I have, and I looked through last night, all excited

for the Fast Times chapter, and he didn't have it. But he did have one page on it, and he said how, on the set, it was clear Sean Penn was stealing the movie, and they were, like, putting in more scenes with him. Yeah. So that made me wonder, like, the football stuff, maybe they move that stuff up because they want more Sean Penn. I like

reading that in movies, because we watch these movies and we watched them. We're like, oh, man, so well-crafted. And then Art Linson's like, yeah, we've fucking, we told Oh, Cameron, like, write three more Spicoli scenes. That kid's great. Sequel, prequel, prestige, TV, all black cast, or untouchable. Universal wanted us.

Spacoli goes to college follow-up immediately, and Sean Penn said no. Oh, man. Man of integrity. That would have been an amazing movie. Wow. Like an important... But it's also like, you guys think Spacoli could have gotten into college? Yes, I do.

I do. Well, now... Yeah, I do. You think he's goodwill hunting. He's like... He's like a Rhodes Scholar. He owns Facebook. now.

Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Traos, Sam Jackson, J.T. Walsh, Byron Mayo, Harling Mays, evil laughing

Ramon Raymond, who just can't seem to win this category. Or Philip Baker Hall. Even laughing Ramon Raymond is just laughing. Right? Right.

But he's evil laughing, though. Oh, Spacoli! I had... I'll try this. I thought Wayne Jenkins, if he had been

working at All-American Burger. God damn. I was working with Bobby Flee fucking secret sauce You better lock down Lisa pretty sooner you're going to be flipping burgers Love fucking time big boy

It'd have been a while So I was just like trying to dial it off Incredible Fantastic I love it every time God damn Brad Just want to ask her Who gets it?

Penn Easy No Jennifer Jason Lee No it's Penn Momentum Okay Probably in answerable questions Let's do it. Did Doug exist?

No. I think no. I don't think so either. I think you're right. I think it was a boyfriend from camp situation. So why did she fake up? Why did she fake having a boyfriend? To Mal's point and to your point about like why doesn't Linda have any friends her age? Take a step outside of it. And it's like, Linda's this weirdo who's a fabulous, who's made up this college boyfriend and has no friends her age and her grade because they're all like, Linda's fucking crazy. But she's gotten Stacy into her spider's web.

and is like, yeah, this is how you do blowjobs, and this is how long guys last and how much they come, and it's all bullshit. All of it, yeah. I don't know. There's a deleted scene early on the movie when another girl comes up to her in a mall and asks Linda for her advice on sex,

and she gives her the advice. So I think they were trying to establish that she was this kind of guru. Also, she was freaking hot. Like, how were the guys not after the whole year? Like, the football quarterback wasn't going after Linda? I do think that's possibly part of why Doug could exist as a figure. It's like keep everyone at bay, right?

Oh. Oh, yeah. That's why, like, nobody goes further. The veil of Doug. Right. The veil of Doug. Right. I like that.

Maybe. That's great. Maybe. I had a possibly unanswerable question specifically for you. Yeah. Do kids still sneak out of the house after bedtime or is like, find my iPhone killed that? Great question. Do they just negotiate?

Like, look, I want to go to this party. Right out the window in the front yard, too. Yeah. you have Life 360 or any of the Find My iPhones, you kind of know where your kids are at all times, which is non-negotiable if you're even decent parent. Unlike the Hamilton's. Well, I'm just saying in 2024, I think it would be hard. Yeah.

Do you think kids still should be able to sneak out? Do you think it's good for them? I mean, I'm in the micromanaging parent era, so we just have fear of all this. I think the worst case scenario is about as bad as it can get. Right. Obviously, yes. But you know what I mean? But I think what kids can.

do is just leave their phone sneak out Jack's nodding Jack's like yes that's what we fucking do The You leave the phone behind They think you're asleep and meanwhile you're out You're phoneless you're basically like you're raw

dogging it. No kid is leaving their phone You're hailing cabs for cats Or you get the second phone Yeah Oh the burner that's Burner phone all right My only other possibly Probably answer for a question was

What was Jefferson's final stat line against Lincoln? Yeah. So I had a... Did he play college ball? Oh, there's... Did he play in the NFL? He's going to Miami. Yeah.

USC. I think, I think... Early 80s. She's... No, it's like Miami and Nebraska. He's the guy's coached Miami. He's Miami and Nebraska. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Tom Osborne. Yeah. I had a football question based up that. They say the line was 14 points. Yeah. This was the game of the year. So Ridgemont was favored by 14. I think DeMov threw that all at the end.

There's like a little fine point. print for Arnold. And it was five to one odds with a 14 point spread, which is weird. It's like an adjusted line. Yeah, I didn't, the gambling in this movie was really weak. It turns out Timo might not be.

No wonder he didn't have any money. Best double feature choice. I had either Valley Girl or Last American Virgin. You want to stay in this year with that kind of theme would be one of my picks. American graffiti just because it's she heckerling acknowledged that that was a huge

touchstone for her. Yeah. I would either do American graffiti or like, dazed and confused for the high school stoner tie. Not clueless? Do the fast times clueless combo? Oh, that's nice. I mean, maybe. You know, on the heckerling front, that would be nice. But they feel, they feel

distinct. The Indian Red Zawatne Award for what happened the next day, they told us. What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie other than my Google history from last night? Your iPad? Yeah. I really like the kill. Lincoln t-shirt. Me too.

And all the Kill Lincoln, like, Assassinate Lincoln merch. It's really good. Yeah. Tasteful. I would want, I think Spacoli's checkerboard

Vans Slip Ons. Oh. Yeah. Do you have those? I don't have the checkerboard ones. I, over the years,

have had van slip-ons, though. You know, I had that in half-assed. He got the vans going, basically. They credit this movie as like launching vans, which I didn't realize.

I would have Jefferson's varsity jacket with the 33 on it, obviously, because I love the number 33. Birdmaster. Yeah. But I thought the jacket was cool, too. That would be a good thing to have in the closet. The coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson. I have one, but what did you guys have?

Do you ever relax your throat muscle? I want you go first. Lock your door. Lock your door. You know, Brad taught us that. Yeah. Does anyone knock anymore? Spicoli taught us that, right?

He's like, Curtis, I don't hear you unless you knock. There's a lot of, like, invasion of personal space across the movie that could be easily avoided by simply locking the door. Oh, I was just going to reiterate Spacoli's point about Jefferson. We did our own rules, dude, or otherwise. My best life lesson, which I actually took from this movie, was how to cheat during exams. This was a... Oh. We didn't hit this in the what age, yeah, what's age for best?

Especially in college where you, if you wore shorts, you could tape a cheat sheet to your leg. You could also do, like, the sunglasses. Yeah. The glasses is a big one. The sleeves having it like this, but then having like the quarterback roll up. Yeah. The fucking Tom Brady play sheet. Yeah.

I even graduated to hiding the notebooks in the bathroom. And can I go the bathroom and go in? You were allowed to go the bathroom in the middle of an exam? Well, this was, yeah. Yeah. Different era. I think I did that once or twice with, but the, The cheat sheet on your body, I feel like this movie invented that.

And it was a great life lesson. Do you say the cheating was rampant in your school or were you like? Cheating was rampant in the 80s and 90s. Interesting that Bill is willing to reveal the exact methods by which she would cheat throughout high school, but not comment on the act of bookie. Yeah. What's up with that? Fascinating.

It was more college. I don't think we could have cheated in high school this way. College was a little looser. Okay. But listen, you got to do what you got to do. College is a fun time. You don't have time to study the entire. time. You're just trying to get through it. Who won the movie? Penn. Yeah. C.H. Craig. What do you got?

Love this movie. Fascinated me in many ways. I still think high school is just my high school will forever be my favorite canvas for a movie. What I loved about this movie was how they depicted like men and women. Their maturity levels. I thought it hit really well on how if you think about it, this whole movie, the women are constantly opening up and talking about sex. The men do not talk. about sex. They just imagine it. Yeah. And they're like, I have a five-point plan. Yeah. And it's all posturing. Yeah. Every like 16-year-old woman in this movie is three years more mature. And every 16-year-old man in this movie is like three years under mature. And I just, I thought that was so perfect how every time it was like Spacoli imagining himself with like beautiful

women after a great surfing day, Brad, you know, imagining Phoebe Kate's coming out of the pool. And the women were just like, no, we're going to do it in real life. Like we're going to actually talk to these guys. And every time a guy was talked to, he's like, I got to go. which is just like such a great way. It's honestly very accurate. And then the other thing this movie made me think of is that, man, we really, my era did not have movies explain sex to us, like, at all. I can't even think of one.

Like, I guess we had Superbad. But Super Bad, it's like those guys are talking, like, in a way that's not actually practical at all. And it's about the two of them being friends more than it is anything else. There's no nudity. There's no sex in that movie, like, at all. There's nothing. It's like easy A, I guess.

but that movie's like borderline PG and the way it's kind of filmed. We didn't have anything. Yeah. Even movies like Breakfast Club still deal with like interesting themes. And I just feel like my specific spot from, I don't know, I was 13, I think,

when Super Bad came out. That whole era of late 2000s, just we had nothing. Yeah. I wonder if the internet spooked people where they're afraid to put stuff like that in a movie in the same way. We had like John Tucker Must Die,

which was kind of a movie about sex a little bit, but like we didn't have anything. Geez, tragic. Did you like Champagne? Yeah, to be honest, I was kind of like, this is a lot. Wow. But you kind of, you warm up to it. It's also one of those things where it's like, this has been...

I've known about this my whole life, and it's hard to watch anything and have it live up. To his point, I think it's something where it did feel like on the day they were just like, this guy is out of his mind cooking. We have to just add... Because like all of his scenes, most of them are not connected to the rest of the movie. Yeah. Right. Interesting.

So, Craig, in on female empowerment, sexual empowerment, agency, out on one of the greatest performances in the history of cinema. 80s movies. I love that it's like blowjobs and weed. And now euphoria is like human trafficking and scalping. I was supposed to be euphoria in the locker room fight scene. It's like if this were euphoria, literally there would be 31 visible dicks. Yeah. And then these guys would like beat the shit out of each other and sleep with each other.

Did you guys think the ending was kind of weird? I don't know. I don't know why, but just like the movie ending on Brad preventing a robbery in a convenience store. That felt very 80s. Like, the movie's over now. Like, it's like they did because there's no story to this movie. But I kind of like, like, these movies are very like raw and kind of awkward. They're not like slapstick at all.

They're situationalally funny. Like, dazed and confused. There's like no plot to these movies. There's I really like. But yeah, this movie just kind of was like a guy tries to rob Brad and he saves the day. And then Spiccoli's like, nice one. And then it ends. Thematically very rich, Craig.

It should have been, the movie should end with Brad and Stacey's parents coming home from their night week vacation. Wait, wait. We took the school year off. Yeah. Wait, there's, what happened in the pool house? Did you guys sleep the pool? Yeah. How about the couch in the changing room? You guys, I wanted you to do on Apex Mountain just like high school movies.

Oh, man. It's not for me. I mean, I think D's still my Apex Mountain for high school movies. I don't think it's the Apex Mountain for High School movies, but I think it's probably the most influential of all of them. Yeah. Yeah. So it's basically like Dr. Jay. Yeah.

Right. It set the tone. Yeah. And Dazed is Jordan. So Dazed is number one in all of your book? To me. I'd have to think about it. I think Breakfast Club is really important.

Dazed and Ferris Bueller, but Ferris Bueller's not really set in high school for the most part. Breakfast Club did the best job of hitting five specific types of people in high school in all of the ways life was affected them in the mid-aged. I think the characters are a lot stronger in Breakfast Club. It goes deeper. Just bear your head to sand. Wait for your fucking crumb! That's it for the rewatchables. Thanks to Craig Orobeck.

Thanks to Jack and Gahow as well. And don't forget about Ringer Movies YouTube channel, which is humming these days. We're all working on it, and we'll see you next week.