The Rewatchables - ‘So I Married an Axe Murderer’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey head to San Francisco for a night of slam poetry with Charlie Mackenzie as they revisit the 1993 comedy ‘So I Married an Axe Murderer,’ starring Mike Myers, Nancy Travis, and Anthony LaPaglia. Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What would you do if you got scammed? Would you suffer in silence, or would you do something about it? Well, I got scammed once, and this is the story of what I did. I'm Justin Sales, the host of the Wedding Scammer, a true crime podcast from The Ringer. And for seven episodes, we're hunting a comment. A guy with a lot of aliases, a guy who's ruined a lot of weddings. And with the help of some friends, I just might be able to catch him. Listen to the Wedding Scammer starting October 17th.

This episode is brought to you by Adobe Firefly, the all-in-one creative studio with AI-powered image and video generation. Built for today's creative process, Firefly helps you generate, edit, and experiment fast. Because the asks aren't getting smaller. And the timelines? Ooh, yeah, still tight. With all the best creative AI models in one place, Firefly brings your ideas to life. Learn more at Adobe.com slash Firefly. This episode is brought to by the active cash credit card from Wells Fargo.

That's a mouthful, but that's because it packs a lot in. Earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases with it, big or small. So whether it's buying tickets to the game and grabbing a coffee, it earns unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases. Say it with me, the active cash credit card from Wells Fargo. Be a 2%er. Learn more at Wells Fargo.com forward slash active cash terms of play. The rewatchables is brought to by the

Ringer podcast network where you can find the big picture with Sean Fennessee. Yes, sir. You can find the watch. It's true. With Chris Ryan and the ringers Philly special. Heady times these days for the Philadelphia sports teams. Yeah, that's right, man. Some teams going up, some teams possibly going down.

My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me Vicky. So I married an expert or is next. Charlie, have you ever stood at the edge of a subway platform or someone? and you thought just for a split second, what if I pushed them? No, not really. Usually I'd follow the Judeo-Christian ethic of thou shalt not kill, but that's just me.

And look how vulnerable we are. And I could do anything to you in your sleep. Stick a needle in your... So I married an axe murderer. Readed PG-13. Sneak preview Saturday night, July 17th. All right, so I married an ex-murder. It came out 30 years ago.

Mike Myers, coming off Wainsworld 1 and 2. Still on SNL. He was a guy. Season ticket status, I think. This movie came out and it bombed. I didn't understand it. I loved it. Here's what happened, though.

As the years pass, Mike Myers really doesn't make another good movie after, what, 2002? That's the last Austin Powers movie. Yeah. Are we counting Shrek? I guess we could. But the Austin Power stuff happens,

and he kind of becomes known for that. And then this becomes this tucked away thing that then becomes the most rewatchable movie he ever made. So how did this happen? It's a really good question. I wonder if it would have ever gotten that cult status if he didn't make Austin Powers, but that there's something ironic about that because this is the last time he ever made a movie in which he played basically Mike Myers. Yeah. And he doesn't really like to play Mike Myers.

And he's much more comfortable playing characters. And this is just a guy that he's playing. He's just, I have a lot of questions about what this guy's life is. so many questions. But he doesn't, he never again leaned into it, you know, whether it was Wayne Algar or Shrek or Austin Powers or Fat Bastard or the Love Guru or the guys from the Pentavarit or any I mean, he's literally never played a normal guy since. Inglorious Bastard, it's 54.

Like, think of all of the movies that he's made. Bohemian Rhapsody. Never played just a dude. He's almost like normal guy. It's like everyone he's got a wig on or fake teeth or some accent. He's closer to Andy Circus than he is to like Eddie Murphy now, where it's like every movie he did was like this complete and total physical transformation, a character that is like, he doesn't show up and he's like, I'll be funny.

It's like, I know I've created an entirely new person that I'm going to inhabit for this. And this movie is the sort of like X and Y graph of like his trajectory up and starting to feel himself and being like, I think I'm going to rewrite this script. but a real director like a screenplay like you know a cast a good supporting cast and actually a story

I like when Mike Myers is Mike Myers he would do it on SNL too every once in a while and I don't know I almost wonder if this movie because it bombed it psyched him out

and that was it he's like I'm out never doing that again I'm never playing myself I need to hide behind some sort of gimmick and that's it don't ask me to be me

you don't what I've thought about a lot revisiting this movie was the love story in Wayne's World, which is when I saw Wayne's World, I didn't think that that is where they would take that character. Like, there's nothing in the sketches in SNL that would indicate that he would make a love story. But Wayne's World works so well.

And actually, he and Tiakura were great together. Those, some of that's some of the best stuff in that movie. So I think maybe he thought maybe I am going to be a kind of leading man rom-com lead. And so he leans into it really directly with this. And since it doesn't work, you never see him try it again. It would have been cool to see him try it again. Well, it's fascinating to think about, I'm not going to do casting what ifs, but the people who had been up and around for the role of Charlie before Mike Myers got the part. And those are all pretty typical, like, leading men, leading men with comic abilities, right?

But not, like, comic geniuses who are creating a new character every time and, like, inhabiting this person. It's basically, he's way more close to Sasha Baron Cohen. And some of the Eddie Murphy stuff where he's doing, you know, nutty professor and things like that, then he is like Chevy Chase, you know? He's a weird guy, but yet vibes with the leading lady. And he did it with Tia Carrera. He did it in this movie.

I think him and Nancy Travis have great chemistry. I feel like he did it with Elizabeth Hurley and with Heather Graham. Beyonce, not as much because I'm not sure Beyonce is an actor. but there's something silly about where it's like, I actually believe that these two people would like each other, and he's so silly, and he's bringing out this funny side for the other person. He's a good flirt, right?

He's good flirting with, yeah, that's a good way to put it. Yeah, he's a good flirt, and it's weird that he abandoned that too. I don't really understand what happened to him, and it felt like it started to get weird with 54, and when he made that choice, and I kind of like 54. I thought he was good in it.

When he made that choice, I thought, oh, is he going to go this way and become like this kind of weird dramatic actor. But then he did two more Austin Powers movies. Kind of Jim Carrey, right? Yeah. Yeah, and then he did the Love Girl, and then it just seems like he lost the narrative. He did the cat in the hat, and that was one that really did him in, I think, because he was supposed to make the Deeter movie. Yeah.

And then he got into a legal dispute with Universal. And so to pay them back, basically, he did the cat in the hat. And that movie bombed and people hated it. And so then he was like, he's not a romantic comedy lead. He's not like a kid's movie star. He's already made three Austin Powers movies. Love Guru doesn't work. Like, where do you go?

Yeah. And it sounds like he's a little bit more trouble than it's worth sometimes on set. Very controlling, it sounds like. When it got to the point when he was doing the gong show and makeup and not acknowledging that it was him hosting the gong show, that was one. It was like, this is getting now weird. Yeah. Yeah.

What happened in this guy? I've always been fascinated by him, though. I do think that movies need people like this. It's the same reason I love Sasha Baron Cohen, where people are just like, I'm not acknowledging the joke here. Like, I'm doing what I'm doing. This is my world that I've created. And he's kind of created worlds over and over again.

He's done, he's been more successful than arguably any self-styled comedy star of the last 35 years. You could make the case that just Shrek and Austin Powers alone, that's bigger than anything that's happened. That's bigger than Jim Carrey, bigger than Will Farrell, bigger than any of those people. So it's hard to quibble with. But this one is such an outlier from all that other stuff. You could also give him that 15-year run starting when he joins. us now all the way through the early 2000s. That's like, you know,

about as good as you're going to do. But for some reason, the next 20 years became the bigger part of the narrative. Like, what happened to him? Why do he lose the steering wheel? And, but I actually think that run he had is underrated now. Because, especially

the SNL stuff. Like, he was one of the better cast members, I think, in the history of the show. And I don't think he gets mentioned like that anymore because it was like, oh, he just did Wayne's World and the other one. He had a lot of good stuff that he did. I think he got, he felt too in love

with the coffee take, coffee talk lady, he felt too in love with that Simon. Like, he would just get super weird, almost like a little too weird where people need to rein him in. But I thought he did a bunch of good stuff.

Every generation kind of gets like their, their S&L cast. I think Sean's probably a little bit more Sandler Farley generation. Myers and Carvey was when I started watching. But yeah, Myers was like, Myers and Carvey were like,

that was the period of time when I would be like, mom can I I I'm staying up to watch this to one you know like yeah setth always talked about how Myers was like he loved the 10 to one sketch the sketch that got super weird and that would be like the one that he shows yeah so he he he becomes when his movies hit that sets off the whole s&l guys going to the movie's thing that that kind of launches it but he stayed on the show and he probably stayed on the show I would say two years too long considering what his profile was and in the middle of this, he puts out this movie that I had really high hopes for. And then it just kind of

came and went. I think some of that, though, is how loaded 1993 was, which we've talked about in the past. Just an amazing movie year. There was just so many choices. And you also knew if you didn't catch them in time, they were going to be in Blockbuster at some point. So one of the other things I love about this movie, it's, I think, one of the best San Francisco movies. Like, San Francisco is a co-star of this movie. And I wrote down like San Francisco movies I like, 48 hours is the king. Axe murder, Zodiac, The Rock,

Basic Instinct. Bullet. Bullet. Mrs. Dalfire, Pacific Heights, dirty hairy, body snatchers in the game. Great list. Where they all just like use the city. It's such a cool city to shoot.

You got hills. You got the water. You can see Alcatraz. It's kind of creepy. But there's also parts of San Francisco that look like, you're in Europe. That scene is it with Nancy Travis in their first date.

It looks like he's in like Rome. Yeah, where they're in a hot dog? Yeah, and they just, they use it really, really nice. So I think San Francisco is my favorite movie location place, and I say that as somebody who loves Boston. We were in San Francisco together

a few years ago, me and you, and you were very romantic about the city. I love San Francisco. Yeah, I remember that very well. This was the best San Francisco time, and I had some friends that moved out there. In the early 90s? pre-Silicon Valley.

There was still a coolness to it. A lot of young people were moving there to Portland or places like that. But you could still live there for cheap. You could get either like a floor of a house or you could rent, you know, apartment, whatever. But you could live like three, four to a place. And it was realistic. They did the real world. I think that was the third real world season.

Or second? Second. That's the puck. No, it was New York, LA, San Francisco is the third one. But it is the puck and Pedro. Yeah. So that was happening. plus like basic instinct

this movie like that this was like a run of San Francisco movies and it just seemed like the coolest place I always felt like it was like Boston West it's like it's a driving city

like in the movies it's a driving city it's like this hilly city every it's a good chase city seems real but then the view seems incredible

yeah it photographs beautifully yeah it's like it'll be like a normal like kind of beat up apartment of a cop and then he'll look out the window and he sees the bay

right yeah it's like a nooks and crannies city too there's like a little small porn part. There's like a little weird like Jack Kerouac carac part.

Yeah. Chinatown's amazing. Like Chinatown is in San Francisco is one of the best movie locations there is. Would be an amazing late career pivot for you to just be like the Anthony Bourdain of red light districts across America?

The Combat Zone with Bill Simmons? Sticky floors with Bill Simmons. Let's talk about tassels. Yeah, a lot of those movies I listed all came out in like a four-year span. Yeah. Like, even Pacific Heights, good San Francisco movie. Oh, yeah. You know, and there's always like you could shoot stuff where things are tilted.

This is also the time of a full house, which is there's like a full house shot in this movie where you see those, that row of houses. And that that was probably the first San Francisco TV show I watched. It's weird that San Francisco is so different now, where it was 20,000. 5 30 years ago. And then there's a lot of reasons for that. But because I feel like Boston is improved in a lot of ways. It's a city that made it nicer. They added the seaport.

They had the big dig. They got a neck. Yeah. But San Francisco feels like it's in shambles compared to where it was 30 years. You've been really involved in the legislative work there. You know, actively trying to get people recalled. Yeah.

I haven't been to San Francisco in like 15 years. The fact that the Nordstrom, at the bottom of the hill is just they shut it down that's like fucking amazing to me that would be like if they shut down Fanywell Hall in Boston. Yeah. He was just like yeah, Fainwell Hall's gone. So anyway, it's it made me

nostalgic. What's your favorite movie city? Well, that's a good question. I mean New York has the most movies that I love that are set there. That's like cheating though. Well, you know you asked the question. What if I was like Cleveland? I certainly love the film setting Cleveland.

I think New Orleans is good as a movie location. Yeah, but I don't like when they set things in New Orleans, but they're not in New Orleans. Like where they basically, no, they shoot things in and around Louisiana, but then they don't, they're like, this is actually Chicago. It's Shreveport. Yeah. Miami's a good one.

Miami's great. No, that's for you guys. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, all of our, yeah. Sure. Bad boys. Yeah, that's a good one. You guys are just thinking about mojitos.

Like, that's all we're thinking about. Mine's nice. London's good. London. I like Chicago. lot. Chicago's had some good ones. Yeah.

But it's weird that cities have runs. Like Chicago had that like early 80s through the mid-80s run of just like a million movies for some reason that we all love. And then San Francisco had this run from like basically late 80s through the mid-90s. You basically need directors who are probably like affectionate for that place. Like a lot of the Chicago movies, I don't know. I mean like Andrew Davis who made the fugitive and stuff like that like really like Chicago. So we set a bunch of movies there.

You know what I mean? Like, you get directors who are like, it's important for me to have it set here. Yeah, you mentioned two Fincher movies on the list, Zodiac and the game. It's like he's from the bay. Yeah. And, like, Mind Hunter is basically, like, a lot of the prisons that they do in Mind Hunter are all in Northern California. It's definitely... I feel like this movie is done with the love and care of somebody who, like, really likes San Francisco.

Like, let's go here. Let's go to this spot. We'll do this. We'll use this apartment. Let's go to this location, which I really appreciate it. It's directed by Tommy Schlamy. Yeah. We met Tommy once, remember?

Yeah, we did. Who became a pretty legendary TV director. Yeah, huge. He did not stay in the movie side, but he was like ER West Wing. He was like the main West Wing guy. Not everyone, but like a lot of them. But he created like a style of TV show in a way, obviously with the writers who wrote those shows. But the way that a lot of shows look now, he kind of invented.

Yeah. Like the steady cam following characters talking is like, that's his thing. Which was a huge issue on this. set is that Myers was like, do not move this camera. Should we start talking about that? I think we should. This was when the Myers' reputation begins.

Yeah. That he was a little prickly. Yeah. So somebody who worked on the movie said that Myers had this philosophy of if you want the joke to be funny, you have to shoot the actor directly when he's delivering the joke to you

so he can see both eyes. And that was why he said, lay down tracks, one-eye jacks. Chris Ryan feels the same way. No, that's how you do, million dollar picks. They're staring right in the camera so I can get my jokes off.

You also, you wouldn't come out of your trailer until we did black hat on the show. That's something I heard. The Meyer stuff, there's been a lot of writing about him. I don't know how much of it is he was just genuinely a weirdo and how much of it was him cultivating the artiste thing

with what he was doing. Because the fact that he backed out of the Sprockets thing was crazy, but really seemed genuine where he was basically like, Like, this idea's not good enough. I don't want to do it. That philosophy falls apart when you do like the love girl five years later.

That's the part. I can't wrap my head around it. It seems like he was just going through some stuff. Nobody could wrap their head around love guru, which, you know, if you just say he's reclusive and doesn't make anything for the last 25 years, then we're probably having a different kind of conversation about him. But instead he was like, here's what I've been working on. And everybody is like, what the fuck are you talking about?

It's a weird one. I think he, I'm sure I said this when we talked about Austin Powers, but he idolizes Peter Sellers. Peter Sellers famously so difficult on films, famously would disappear behind costumes and wigs and mustaches, but was a genius. And people were like, you know what, we'll just accept it. We'll just deal with it because what you get on screen, Dr. Strange Love being there, whatever, is so worth it that we'll deal. But he also arrived at a time where, like, there was more money on the line. you know what I mean? Like Austin Powers was a billion dollar operation ultimately.

Yeah. So I think it's harder to justify. It's also funny because in it there's, there's the 93 part where it's like you would still get magazine articles or newspaper articles that were just like immediately after a movie had come out and people being like, I didn't really have a good time making this, you know? And also in the intervening years,

I think even Tommy Shlammy and like some of the other people have been like, it was complicated and a little bit difficult, but it wasn't that bad. You know what I mean? like he is very specific. And if you're going to work with him, you've got to kind of know what he's going to do. I think that this movie actually works because of that tension, though,

is because there's still like a cool setting, you know, and some atmospheric stuff and some interesting, like, zags. And Tommy Shlammy's doing like a San Francisco movie, like you're saying. But then you also have the Mike Myers part. It's something that I wish more comedies had, which is that it has real competent filmmaking.

Like, the movie is very slick, very smooth. It's well done. It looks really good. You know, it's got energy. It's got pace. The music is great. Like, it's not just like a thrown together SNL sketch. It's not just the Apatow guy.

It's kind of riffing for two and a half hours. It's like one slow-mo walking scene. That's like they're... Right, right. Like, you can make the case of the flaw of the movie, even though I really like this about it. And it's what attracted to me in the first place is actually Mike Myers. Like, Mike Myers, like doing bits and being like, hello! in a scene where you'd be like,

no one would ever do that? He doesn't. I had that in what's age or worse. He does it three different times. And it's like, that didn't work the first time. It's really weird. I mean, I love Mike Myers more than I love the movie.

So I'd rather have Mike Myers than a slightly better movie with a less comic-centric actor. But there's something weird and fructive going on here that you can feel even while you're watching the movie. Most difficult Canadians, Mike Myers, Dylan Brooks. Are there any other ones?

That's it? Those are the only two? I'm sure there's a hockey player. We're not thinking of. Yeah, some problem. I mean, R.J. Barrett's hard on my heart, you know. Yeah, that's true. RJ Barrett's like, no lateral movement or I don't come out of my trailer.

RJ Barrett is how I feel the way McMyers feels and so I married an ex-murder watching him play. I'm like, is this guy going to kill me right now? I watched this movie twice in two days because the first time I was having such a good time with some of the scenes that I wasn't even thinking about it critically. I had to watch again. It's a quintessential rewatchable in that way. It's so, yeah. Because the, the reason why this movie gained steam as the 90s went along was just these signature scenes.

And the first 30 minutes are about as good as you're going to do for a comedy. And then it kind of has to go through the whole, oh, we have this black comedy horror type piece. And, you know, I don't think the last 20 minutes is great. But the fact that there's just like, hey, Phil Hartman's going to be in this for two minutes. Michael Richards at the peak of Seinfeld Paris He's just pop up Yeah he's just popping in for three minutes

Charles Gruden's here for no reason at all Stephen Wright Stephen Wright's gonna fly a plane Like you know it is I don't feel like movies do this anymore But this the thing is like This is basically singles Done as a Monty Python episode

Or as a Saturday Live episode Where there's like 15 20 minutes of Harriet and Charlie And then they just have like a weird sketch in the middle And like they went to like funny people And we're like What would you do in this scene Or what about this idea

And they just have like five-minute scenes that are almost like interstitials throughout the movie. Yeah, but they make sense in the movie, which I think... Yeah. There were a lot of other movies from this era where they were just Saturday Live sketches kind of patched together.

But this has... And in this one, they... Everybody, even the Michael Richards scene, which is bizarre, but it kind of makes sense in the framework of the movie. Pushes the story along. And Alan Arkin. I didn't mention Alan Arkin, who's in multiple scenes. That's the nice sergeant.

Yeah, there's like real thought and care put into... why these people are in the movie, what they're going to do. And I don't know if, like, the equivalent was down. It was some actor where they built the movie around one guy. But then it's like, Bill Hader's in it for two minutes. You know, and then Fred Armisen's in for one minute. And, oh, my God, there's Kristen, Christian Whig for 90 seconds. Like, we'd be like, what is this movie?

They just don't do it this way anymore. It's a good call. I actually wish that was the case with more stuff. I just don't think people are creative enough like that. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think what I... That's one of the reasons we live. love Superbad.

Like, fucking Bill Haders in it for, what, two scenes, three scenes? Yeah. But I read that those people are all in this movie because they wanted to work with Mike Myers. Yeah. And I assume that's true.

Which speaks to how much cachet he had at that point. I mean, Alan Arkin is like, I want to be in a movie with that guy. In 1993, Alan Arkin was Alan Arkin. You know, it's pretty crazy. He's just always at least an A-minus.

Arkin? Yeah, like A-minus is the floor for Alan Arkin. Legend. Where do you stand on The In-Laws? We did it. It was part of a movie swap episode. We did on the show, the big picture earlier this year. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. I love it. My dad's best friend, Murray Anderson, had this whole thing about how the in-laws was the greatest movie of all time. And he watched it like every six months.

So funny. He was like, this is the perfect movie. And he would just say he was like a, like a Scientologist about it. When he's losing his shit and they're doing the run on the tarmac, that's like the funniest thing I've ever seen in the movie. It's great. And all the way through Little Miss Sunshine. incredible career for him. Well, this movie, $20 million budget, made $11.5 million. Roger Ebert, like, gradually gave it two and a half stars.

He said it was a mediocre movie with a good one trapped inside, wildly signaling to be set free. Picked it apart. I don't think Roger's a big story guy. I don't know if he loved the story. I wanted to know what you guys thought of the point that he made in the review,

which was that he thought that the family, and I'm sure we'll spend a lot of time on the Scottish family, that that was the movie. Yeah. That if he had made that the movie, then you would have had something great and all of this business with,

you know, Harriet and Charlie and the murders and everything. It does feel like there are two separate movies. And it feels like one is like a vestige of the older version of the script and the other is like Mike Myers exploring like

what this guy's life in San Francisco would be like if he had this Scottish family. I would have loved to have seen that. I don't know if split screen technology was quite where we needed it to be. I think that was the biggest problem. The other problem was, I hated the colonel with his wee, beady eyes. It puts an addictive chemical in his chicken.

The dad, well, we'll do it in rewatchables, but the dad's first scene is like one of my favorite four minutes. It's unreal. Of the 90s. Yeah. It is like just thinking a plus plus. Let's take a break. Today's most rewatchable scene brought to you by the Home Depot.

Every great movie goes big, whether it's a lot. a heart swelling love story. What's your favorite heart swelling love story, Sean? Geez. English patient? A mind-bending mystery or nail-biting adventure.

What's your favorite nail-biting adventure, Chris? Raiders the Lost Ark. Home Depot wants to help you go big this holiday season with festive outdoor decor. Snatch up, bigger, bolder, inflatables, and your favorite characters of great values along with some classic decor done in new ways.

I always want to say Decker. Instead of decor? Decor. Yeah, it's one of those. it tries to trick me one of those words. You got it. I know I nailed it. Shop now and give yourself the gift of a stress-free holiday season with the Home Depot.

I always want to say Home Depot when I read it. No, kidding. The Home Depot, there's nothing bigger than that. Visit Home Depot.com to learn more. All right, here we go. The opening's awesome. Coffee shop? We should talk about it.

Following through the mug? This is a sneaky. I think the mid-90s. People just tried shit. They're like, you know what, fuck it. But it's also like a 90s time capsule. Yeah. You know, this is sort of like the real central perk, you know?

Right. Well, I was going to talk about this later, but there is like, this is the first wave of coffee house shit. Because singles had it the year before. Friends is a year later. But I was Dunkin' Donuts really until 93, 94. I don't even think any coffee house was in Boston until... The first time you went into a coffee house where you're like, you guys think you're better than me! I'll tell you this, we didn't have them in Boston.

But we had them. You know, you go to San Francisco, be like, what's this place? It's like a bar? No, what was the bookstore next to Newberry, though, that had the coffee shop in it? That place, I think, is still there. It is.

Yeah, I didn't, I wasn't a fan of that place. Really? I was a D&D guy. Okay. Why do you have to choose? That was just a D&D guy. And you wouldn't hang out at the other side cafe or anything? Like, you weren't like, you were just...

No, I was just like, Dunkin' Donuts. Just walked by being like, fucking ass. I just didn't understand it. And then eventually they kind of beat you down. Isn't like this is the real America? Like Dunkin' Donuts? This is how we really do it? It's like Dunkin' Donuts.

That's what I was used to. Cool. Then I expanded my horizon. Did you do a lot of coffee shops? No. I didn't drink cold, Ethica? No. When we were just taking a break, you were like, I bet you're a big beat poet guy sitting

in the coffee shop. Like, I didn't start drinking coffee until like 2009. So, no. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Now it's a huge part of my life. What ringer staff member do you think could have been a beat poet guy 30 years ago?

Austin Gale. Yeah, that was exactly where I was. Yeah, but just very fast poetry. Speed poetry. EPA. Jalen waddle waddles down the field. Maybe that should be

launch an NFL beat poetry podcast. That sounds like a really good idea. Write that down. Vangel got a new idea for you guys. You better be sitting down. Same day. Parlay. so the cappuccino we followed all the way through and it goes to Myers

and Myers goes there seemed to be a mistake I ordered the large cappuccino just and we're off we're gone hello we had the fair commitment established he's talking about his girlfriends he says she smelled like soup she smelled like beef vegetable soup and then it is the woman poem now like Jeff Chow was like oh that movie it's funny except for the beat poetry I'm like I am completely in the opposite Poetry is so funny. I love the Be Poetry. He could have thrown in three more. He was a thief. You gotta belief.

She stole my heart in Josie and they make me horny. Saturday morning. Girls of Cotwins won't leave me in ruins. I want to be Betty's Barney. Hey, Jane. Get me off this crazy thing called love. She was a thief. You got a belief.

She stole my heart and my cat. Is it time to start asking questions about Charlie? Or do you want to wait? Let's wait. Because we don't, yeah, I have a million questions. Hey, Jane, give me off this crazy thing called love. I'm kind of into beat poetry. I think I would have a good time.

Maybe you should host the Beat Poet football pod. We could do it. Maybe we have some space in the Spotify office. That's true. We do have a little stage. That's a great opening scene. Then we get to go to his parents' house, and it's just it goes to a whole other level. The Scottish Wall of Fame, which I wrote down, we'll talk about later.

The Bay City Rollers. Incredible. Myers leaves, and the dad goes, float away, you fairy! It just seems like for three minutes he's trying to make Anthony LePaglia break. And it works. And it works. And he just fucking laughing. That must have been the best take they had of La Paglia not dying, and that's what they had to you.

Look at the size of that boy's heed. I'm not kidding. It's like an orange on a toothpick. You're going to give the boy a complex. Well, that's a huge nogging. It's a virtual planetoid. Has its own weather system. Heed, move.

They should just put, like, the entire edited footage on YouTube. Because he's, like, legitimately, like, dying laughing. He's, like, you're giving him a complex. It is, like, a 10-to-1 SNL sketch in the middle of a movie. Yeah, right. He starts talking about the Pentechavarate? Well, it's a well-known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world,

known as the Pantavit, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as the Middows. So who's in this Pantavarid? The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschild, I'm Colonel Sanders before he went Tetsa. I hated the colonel with his wee, beady eyes.

And that smug look on his face. Oh, you're going to buy my chicken. Dad, how can you hate? Which ends up being a terrible Netflix show later. But that joke, he ruined that joke. That joke was always the funniest thing to me in this movie. When he just fires off the names. Yeah, the Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Gettys.

Not off child. Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders. I was like, just let that sit there as your own mythology that you invented. Oh, you're going to buy my chicken. The drive-by shooting of Colonel Sanders is just unbelievable. I don't even know. How do they come up with that?

They also just do so many hat on a hat things where you think it's like the end of the joke or the end of the scene. And then like Anthony DiLapaglia making out with Brenda Ficker. Right. Well, we got to talk about William, because William, in the theater the first time I saw this and after William and boy, he did, look at that head. It looks like sputnik. And oh, go crying yourself to sleep on that gargagnin, gargantranium about. All of the head jokes with William, William, move your head. Pants!

And poor William with his little weird afro. I just that is my funny bone personified it just fucking slays me on his huge pillar it's like an orange on a twist pic

that is like the perfect form in a comedy scene it's so good I do have one important question yeah how old is William and how old is Charlie

this is this we got this coming up there's a lot of undiscovered country with the McKenzie family well let's do it now Charlie's probably like 31

And then they have a 14-year-old boy. Pretty weird. And the parents seem like they're in their mid-60s. Father McKenzie is, he's definitely on in years. Sired late in life, sired a child. And Brenda Fricker, in the movie, she's only in her mid to late 40s, but she's, like, costume to look like she's 59. Yeah.

So it's pretty weird. This is, I'm just going to read this without the accents. This is the actual dialogue at one point. This is just what it says on the script. Look at the size of that boy's heed. I'm not kidding. It's like an orange on a toothpick. You're going to give the boy a complex.

Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. Has its own weather system. Like, how do you even like putting that on a page and giving that to actors? I don't even know how you react. It's just the fucking best. We were trying to figure out, though, when we were talking about this. Mike Myers says he's descended from ancient

Scottish ancestry, but his family is from Liverpool. He seems like he hates Scotland. So does he like the Scots or hate the Scots? Well, he's done quite a lot of Scottish material and Shrek is Scottish. You know, like, I mean, that may be not actually Scottish, but he... He was not born in Scotland, Shrek.

Well, he, I mean... He's Edinburgh. The next... Finding your roots with Shrek. Well, the next scene I had where he has that quote about, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. is the fucking perfect

It's so true Who's like What do you guys eat Tonight? We're gonna get some Scottish Like you would never There's no Scottish category Postmates

I do like a scotch egg Do you really? Flirting at the butcher shop Is my next scene Which also gets The Big Cahuna Burger Award For Best Use of Food Drink And the Kid Cuddy

Pursuit Happiness Award For Best Needle Drop Because it plays the The Big Audio Dynatomite song the funny montage to me is undefeated where it's like Mike Myers he's just going to help out behind the counter he's got meat and he's just going to try to be funny

with all of these coal cuts and meat that are on display and he fucking pulls it off yeah some health code violations in the mix there I don't think it's I was going to have this in what's age is the worst but just generally like just poor butchery yeah yeah mom could you call the school nurse

Even on Nancy Travis's part where they're like, I'd like a quarter inch thick sirloid She's like, ah! She's just like slapping at the thing with a knife. This, I mean, you have those three scenes basically in a row. This movie is like just on a killer pace And you think you can't get any better. And then Phil Hartman shows up as John Johnson.

Hello, everyone. I am a park ranger and I will be leading you on the tour. All of the park rangers here at Alcatraz were at one time guards, myself included. my name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicky will you please follow me I love Vicky

he's great he's the best That's a That's a classic thing where it's just like It's really funny He's like call me Vicky And then the tour keeps going And he's talking about girls And then Phil Hartman tells the machine gun

Kelly's story Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell block, machine gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a bitch. And one night in a jealous rage, Kelly took a makeshift knife for Shiv and cut out the bitch's eyes. Hey, you knew another thing about Harry and I love? And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates, took turns

pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. Machine gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system a bitch. I like when he gets mad, Meyer starts talking

and he like gives him like this death there. He tries to be like, oh yeah, I don't know really know what to do with my area. I think that's the funniest minute of the 90s for me. Phil Hartman is the Alcatraz God

to guard. A big shift knife or a shiv. And cut out the bitch's eyes. It makes me sad. I miss Phil Hartman. I feel like he's one of the biggest what-ifs, like, ever. Like, 20 years we don't have of him doing stuff like this in movies.

It sucks. He's in my all-time funny pantheon. Yes. Yes. With Eddie and Will Ferrell. Ooh, here we go. This is, you sure you want to give all this way right now? How long is the list?

That might be the entire list. Eddie, Phil Hartman, and Will Ferrell. Just for people that could just make me laugh in any situation, if you gave them any kind of line of dialogue, just how they can hit. Oh, Balooche. No, Belushi would be the fourth one. Those four, right?

Just like, they just make me laugh. And Phil Hartman, like, he's the fucking, like, who else could be that funny as the Alcatraz Guard? Like, literally nobody in the planet. He's the best. He's the best. Incredible bit. Yeah.

Just like, here's this story. This way to the cafeteria. Yeah. He's just so different from all those other guys, though, because all their comedy is about, like, them. And Phil Hartman is doing some character that is not, like, an outrageous Mike Myers character. Yeah.

He's, like, stuffed shirt guy, I guess, is, like, the best way to describe. But that bit always works. It always worked on me. It's so funny. And Farrell used to do this. Like, Farrell basically does what Phil Hartman does, where it's, like, he's being completely serious in the scene.

Right. And everybody else is dying. They can't believe how funny this is. But, like, even, like, when you watch Phil, like, Will Farrell on, like, Eastbound. Like, he's being completely serious. Right. And everybody else is like,

I can't believe Ashley Schaefer is a real thing. I also love the friendship with Meyer. I had that on one stage the best, Myers and La Paglia. Like, they really seem like genuine friends. And I like when they get Ficky. And Vickie's like, all right, guys, follow me at the start of the tour. That must have been the easiest paycheck, Anthony.

The Pagin is like, yeah, oh, man, we got Vicky. How many times have you guys been to Alcatraz? I love that. We got Vicky. This is great. Yeah. It's so funny. It's like one and four.

a chance. Alcatraz is amazing. That was another thing we loved about San Francisco, like going there and Larry and I was like, oh, let's go to Alcatraz. We went like, I think I would think I personally went three times in the 90s and I'm not even from San Francisco. You did a bit.

What was it like there? It was much like the rock. Yeah. So much fun. The Michael Richards cameo where he's with the mechanic from curb, the AMCO guy from season one. And he just is smoking and just crazy and then flips out.

Stop your job. Look at the insensitive band. That's what they're paying him for. Really good to see him. I like all of the arc in La Paglia scenes where there's like some sort of... I wish this is more like Starskin Hutch is basically the premise.

The one later in the movie... The later in the movie one really tries to... The guys upstairs are calling it. Yeah. That one is the best. It seems that the old lady that confessed to the murder of Ralph Elliott has also confessed to a couple of other murders.

I knew she would. Yeah. Right. Well, she's confessed to the murders of Abraham Lincoln, Warren G. Harding, and Julius Caesar. She's a nut-cared. A nutcase. Oh my God.

I gotta go. You screw this one up, pal, and you'll be writing pocket tickets for the rest of your life. You got that? Captain, I won't let you down. Good for you. That was so much better.

Really terrific. It was fantastic. The beginning felt pretty good. Yeah, yeah, it was great. I'd get too much on the end. No, no, no, no. It was really terrific. That's the fire.

That little bit is just great. I like when he wins her back with the beat poem, and I like when he finds out that she's the murderer. But really, like, the best scenes of this movie are in the first, I would say, hour. I like this poem sucks. That one is really good when he wins her back.

What do you got for most rewatchable? This is really tough. It's the first McKenzie scene. It's the first Stewart scene. I agree completely. That's like, that's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I'm going to agree, but only because it's longer than the Hartman scene.

Hartman scene's like a minute and a half. the first McKenzie scene it's unbelievable I want to give a special shout out to just the very like 12 second scene where La Pollya has like commandeer Charles Gruden's car and he's drumming on the dashboard

and he's like could you please stop that he's like oh is this bothering you and he's like no it's one of my favorite things it was like Charles Grosin in a nutshell I love it There's also like when Stephen Wright is like oh my God I was dreaming I was born eight and a half months.

Is it La Paglia or La Paliya? I think it's La Pala. What is it, Chris? I have no idea. Yeah. I always think you're Italian. I never knew. He's Australian. He's Australian.

He's not Italian? We can't claim him? I think, I assume his family is. He's the most Italian-seeming guy on the planet. If you watch interviews with him, it's like, it's like the deep, like almost New York Italian with an Australian accent. It's really unsettling. I might be misremembering this, so don't quote me.

But I feel like there was like a year there where people were thinking he might be the next de Niro. Is that possible? He was a pretty big deal for me. Because he was a big stage actor too. And I think there was some like buzz with him. And when he was in this movie, it was the first time he'd been in a comedy.

It was pretty jarring to see him. He's in a stretch here. Yeah. Innocent blood. Yeah. So I married an axe murder. the client really good in the client. Yeah.

And Empire Records, which I love. Oh, yeah. And then he was on that show Murder 1, which was a really good Bocco show in the 90s. But then he never really... What was his show that hit in the 2000s? Without a trace? Yeah, that was like eight years.

Then he, you know... I'm sure he did very well on that show. All right, that's it for most rewatchable scene. It's brought to you by the Home Depot. Finish the movie Marathon. That is your holiday season prep with the help of the Home Depot. They've got everything you need to add some joy to your home with outdoor decor like bold inflatables and your favorite characters of great values.

Give yourself the gift of a stress-free holiday season with the Home Depot. Grand finale, if there ever was one, visit Home Depot.com to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Spectrum Business. Fast, reliable internet means everything for your business and even this podcast. That's why I trust Spectrum Business. It keep companies of all sizes connected with internet, advanced Wi-Fi, phone, TV, mobile services, plus 24-7 U.S.-based support, millions of business owners already trust Spectrum Business. So visit Spectrum.com slash business to learn more. Restrictions apply.

Services not available in all areas. This episode is brought to you by Two Good and Company coffee creamers. Howdy take your coffee, piping hot, ice, strong, frothy. But if you love rich, creamy goodness and delicious flavor in every sip, try Two Good and Company creamers. They're made with farm-fresh cream and real milk. Each serving has just three grams of sugar, 40% less than the leading coffee creamers. Two good creamers are available in sweet cream, roasted vanilla, and lavender.

So which one are you trying first? Find two good creamers at your local retailer in the creamer aisle. What's age the best? Mentioned early 90s, San Francisco, mentioned early 90s coffee house culture. Chris, where do you stand on sensational 90s tabloid newspapers? Oh, I love them. Between the I had that many

The news The News of the World or whatever it is, yeah You think the internet killed those papers or do they still exist? I think that they're just on the internet now.

Yeah. Okay. And they also have like permeated everything. Sensitive beat poets I have. Funny actors playing multiple characters as long as the actor's funny.

I still enjoy. Same. I like it. It's really a select group of people that can do it. Who's on the list? Not many. Myers.

Murphy, Peter Sellers. Jim Carrey, could do it. Jim Carrey. Does Sandler ever do it? No, right? Sandler could do it. I just don't think he would. Yeah, every once in a while. It's not, it's a short list. Shane Gillis? No, it's, um, maybe.

Could be in his future. Here's what was on the Scottish Wall of Fame, which is age the best for me. Sir Harry Lauder, Sheena Easton, Alexander Graham Bell, Sean Connery, and Jackie Stewart. That's a five photos Sheena, Houston is so good Alexander Grandbella, I didn't even know he was Scottish

I wonder what would have these perfect photos What editions I would make Since the early 90s I don't know gosh, I don't know You and McGregor Yeah, for sure Good one Who else is from Scotland?

Who's from Scotland, Craig? Groundskeeper Willie from the Simpsons. Chris, have you been to Scotland? No. Acome. Why not? I just never got over there. Ireland.

How far is it away from England? No, it's just right up there. It's up in the north. It's got to be some reason you want to go. It's not. I wasn't... I'm in England like 30 times. Never like wonder what Scotland's like?

I would love to go to Scotland. I've been to Edinburgh. Yeah. It's beautiful. Incredible. Heard was really nice. Nice big, awesome buildings. There were some buildings.

There were some buildings. We could do the retrain spotting in Glasgow or Edinburgh if you wanted to, you know? I've never really like Scotland, but I have never really like Scotland, but I have No reason. You've never been? Never been and never wanted to go and don't really like it. I wonder if Myers' like Jedi mind-tricked me into not liking Scottish people. It's pretty fun.

They're pretty cool. I had a great time when I was- The Spots. The one thing that really destroyed me when I was there was, you know, I stayed in like a beautiful home in Edinburgh and they served their full English breakfast every day, a Scottish breakfast every day. You have to walk like 32,000 steps to work that off. And it messed me up, pretty bad.

Morewood's age the best. Cubby-webby-woom-room tea? that age the best I just thought that was funny the Queen Elizabeth Dartford in the bathroom which you see for a split second just like little stuff like that

really works when no that was in Ireland never mind I was gonna make a I was gonna just tell a story that there was when Queen Elizabeth died there was like a video of like soccer fans at a stadium chanting Lizzie's in a box so

Irish but it's a you know I put this in just for Chris for what's age the best. Drunk beer drinking dads on 70s recliners. Yeah. With bottles right next to them. Just for Chris. The movie credits in the beginning, I think, with the Boo Radley's in the giant

cappuccino cup. His age the best from like, oh, this was fun in the 90s when everybody tried to copy Goodfellas for like five years. And it's probably like a, it's probably the great shot Gordo of the movie. I don't know. The cappuccino. Yeah, I agree. I'm smitten.

I'm in deep smit. Solid. I like when people twist words like that. I know that this has probably fallen out of larger fashion, but neurotic guys in the 90s navigating the world of relationships was pretty good movie fodder. Big Woody Allen hangover from. But like Campbell Scott, Ethan Hawk, this. You know, it's like, I just, I can't get relationships right.

It's like, eh. average looking guys who can attract the hottest women in the world who are like, I don't know about this. Should I commit? Dude, Nancy Travis is right there. The double date where they're fighting over the check are like, negatory, no, negative.

And they're just, nobody's grabbing it and then she just takes it. I like when the dad says the second time they go to the McKenzie's and he's like, show the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at Niagara Falls. She's kind of stuck it in there. that it is

Charlie, we're in there, let a match when he's just basically trying to make it like Charlie's taking a shit. Could you say the birth of Dr. Evil is in this movie?

Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. The fruits of the Deveal. I think whatever. He's probably playing around with it. Yeah,

he's playing around with it. The back scratching maps I really like that's what she's the best and she's the best. She's like Golden Grape Bridge, go to Oakland. It's dangerous fault.

They had really good chemistry, I thought, to them. I like when people leave a trail of dead husbands across the country. Yeah. So Black Widow with Teresa Russell and Deborah Winger, which is a really solid movie that somebody should remake into a scripted series.

But I like when somebody's got a past and then you can look it up and it's like, wait, she lived in Miami. That's where that guy died. That's where Wayne and then he was married and the wife disappeared. Yeah. Always good. Thumbs up. I just think it's funny to imagine like her being like if she was a killer,

just being like so honest about everywhere she's been and everybody who's, every person. all the artifacts from her previous marriages. Yeah. Yeah, I had a Harriet's apartment just because it was cool. Yeah. Good set. Chotchky filled 90s apartments. The one thing that's missing is an oversized map. Atlantic City. Oh, you got one.

The supporting cast, we mentioned a lot of these people, but just Anthony La Paglia, La Paglia, Amanda Plummer, Michael Richards, Brenda Fricker, Charles Groton, Phil Hartman, Debbie Mazar, Stephen Wright, Alan Arkin, and then Sheila Kelly's in the pictures from Singus. I thought that's so funny, yeah. That doesn't talk. They must have cut her out.

Yeah. Is this the most overqualified cast in movie history? It's definitely a lot of... It's probably like, you want to come do a day, maybe a day and a half. Yeah. For Sheila Kelly, it's like, can you pose for a picture with a cat? I can make fun of you during my beat poem. So apparently,

Nancy Travis cut her finger in real life in the butcher scene and there's a couple shots where you can just see her with like a giant band-aid on her finger because she was laughing at Mike Myers and excellently chopped her finger off and they had to reattach it.

The Alamo draft house was showing anniversary showings and they lifted their no-talking role and allowed people to shout quotes at the screen. Wow. High praise. And then the last thing I had was the the Pallia

with the Serpico detective and the Alan Arkin where he's like, I thought it was going to be Serpico instead I'm fish from Barney Miller. Yeah. It's age the best and the worst. I got that joke. No way, Craig got it.

But I'm sure he could. I love the back and forth. What other words say it your best? No, I just really thought like 90s guy trying to sort out like long-term relationships. Yeah. This is actually a pretty big sweet spot for me. I mean, Mike Myers in general.

Yeah. Yeah, early 90s, yeah. Just how, because now we know we're never getting it back, right? So we got to cherish

this very short list of movies he made in the 90s. Well, I like this movie so much that I created a new category for us. We won't use every week, but I think we're going to get

some use out of it. I'm pretty excited about it. It's the Elizabeth Shoe is an Oxford Electrochemist Award for most improbable casting of a hot actress. And it goes to Nancy

Travis who plays a hot butcher. How many hot butchers have you seen in your day? Honestly, not a single one. Going down to the butcher. She's fucking smoking. How does it relate to all the other cities that she... Like, was she a butcher in every town? She's traveling butcher.

I don't think... I don't know how she winds up with the job at World of Meets or Meets of the World. Meets of the World. But it doesn't look like she's been like on a trail of like opening and closing butcher shops across the country. So this is just something she's taken up now that she's moved back to San Francisco? Or maybe she's, like, gotten a job there. She's fledgling butcher.

Yeah. But you have to learn how to do that. She's overwhelmed by her customer base. That's true. She doesn't seem to have very good knife skills. How would you do in a butcher shop? Front of house, like, fine. But any kind of like I have to get the ribs off, like not well.

You? You ever worked in a butcher shop? I'd be terrible. You really have to pay attention and it'd be just careful the whole time. I would chop my hand off. You'd lose a manacle? Yeah, I'd be like, wait, what's the red side? I do think, though, that a sneaky D-on Waiters candidate is the guy who's like, I'm next.

I'm next. Do you agree that that category should be named after Elizabeth Shue and the Saint as an electrochemist working in Oxford? Or would you have gone with Nicole Kidman in that movie when she's like a... Neurologist in Days of Thunder? I have a really great candidate. Hold on one second. I'm going to tell you. I used to have a whole list of these people. I think I did it in a mailbag like 20 years ago. By far my favorite example of this is Denise Richards in the world is not enough.

She plays Dr. Christmas Jones, an American nuclear physicist. That might be better than Elizabeth Shoe. Denise, so the Denise, what was her job again? She was a nuclear physicist. Her name is Dr. Christmas Jones. There was like a. The Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones Award. That's really good.

We had a 15-year run there of like extremely hot women who would put on glasses for one. scene and be like, I think there's an alien here. She's all that effect. There was somebody was doing nuclear fusion in one of those movies too. I want to say it was Nicole Kidman. I think she double-dipped. She was in the peacemaker. She's like

a nuclear nuclear fusion in the peacemaker. That sounds right. There's nothing funnier when it's like here's the whoever and it's just like six foot tall. It can go both ways. There's been some really funny Keanu Reeves jobs. Yeah, it's true. It's like, come on.

Yeah. But it was getting to the point where it was like, you know, the new leader of the United Nations is Shannon Tweed. They were pushing the envelope in the late 90s. The Denna Thieves Benihana Award

scene stealing location. The hotel's pretty cool. Yeah. At the end. Yeah. And I like the poetry place. Great Check Order Award was the opening credits. What's the Butch's Girlfriend Week Link

of the film for you? For me, it's the last Yeah. Like 15 minutes. It's just like, I know he's going to not get killed and let's just get to the end. Yes. And also, I think that the comedy after Groden and Stephen Wright is a lot of like, oh, my balls.

Like. Yeah, it is really slapsticky when he's being chased on the roof. Yeah. And like the accent between his fingers and everything. It's a very different tone from the rest of the movie. Woods age the worst, the pentaveret just because led to where we were. I had that too. 90s green screen?

Mm-hmm. What else do you have? I mean, the birth of Mike Myers is a diva, you know, like that. It's kind of fucked up a lot of opportunity. I think, this weekend is one of the best movie comedy weekends of all time. It's the same weekend as Robin Hood Men and Tights. It was also, it was my birthday weekend. I was turned 11 on this weekend.

And I saw both of these movies over this weekend. Did you go with a lot? I was like, is this really happening? Did you go with a lot of homies? I did. I went with friends. But I was like, I got introduced to Dave Chappelle this weekend from Robin Hood. and tights, you know, that was my first Mel Brooks movie in the theater and Mike Myers,

who I was just discovering from SNL and Wayne's World. And I was like, oh, my God. So very similar. I wasn't on a date. Did you write a birthday poem that year? Yep. Yeah, I'm going to perform it right now. Morewood's stage the worst.

Hello! Yeah. Just the, just so hacky. The guy with the bits at the coffee shop, you know? I also had the hygiene for the opening scene coffee mug. Where they basically... Oh, I had that in nip-pix. Yeah, they dip it.

They wash it for like one second. It's dirty water. It's disgusting. Wipe it down with a dirty rag. Yeah. And then hand it back to it. So glad you brought that. I had that later, but it's disgusting.

Because I watched it and I'm like, wait a second. Was that the same cup that they pulled off a table and I rewound it? And yeah, they watched that thing for one second. Got to tell you guys, when I worked in catering, I worked as a dishwasher and pretty accurate. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah. As somebody with an extensive...

restaurant background I'm gonna also say accurate I was just surprised they led the movie with it what's age the worst there's only really one truly funny grandfather

or father scene with uh with uh with uh Charlie's dad and I I just feel like you wanted more they were just sitting on plutonium basically

I mean we get like three or four scenes with him but nothing that comes We have a piper down nothing that comes if you want my body. It's all solid, but nothing that compares to the first four minutes. He's funny in every scene he's in, but he doesn't get a lot of time after that first

scene. So this leads to my next one. Could he have played darts in the bar or something? Rather than the pentaver, why didn't we just get the Stuart McKenzie TV show? That would have been great. I do think that what's age is the split screen technology. Oh, yeah. No question.

Because you can see everybody who's in the scene with Stewart is basically holding on for your life not to crack up. And then Mike Myers is just staring at a dot on a wall somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Some of the pop cultural references. Did you know who Huggy Bear was, Craig? Yeah. You've not seen a Starskin Hutch.

No. The soundtrack's okay. Oh, this is a shock. I thought you were going to flip out about the soundtrack. I thought so, too. This is very Simmons core playlists. So you're not wrong, but it's like, I just feel.

like this was such an awesome time for music that they really could have landed the plane with one of the great soundtracks. It's like they put there she goes on it twice. Four times. Right, but two different bands. But the song plays four times in the movie.

Toad the Whet Sprocket, sole asyle on the break, which is actually, I like that song. I think that Toad song, didn't it blow up off of the So I met her an ex-murderer soundtrack? Big audio dynamite. That's, that one's been on a couple movies. It was remixed. Yeah. I feel like that's a pretty

familiar one. That song came out like 1990, right? That's not a new song. The old Ned's Atomic Dustbin redoing the Saturday night. And then the big one that really feels the most 1993 to me was Spind Doctor, Two Princes. The Spin Doctors, I can't explain it. What happened?

They were gigantic for four weeks, four months. It was longer than that. It was like a massive on MTV. A pocketful of a kryptonite. I had that album. Yeah. That was probably four months. They had two songs. They were They had two songs.

They had a video. They had kind of a weird guy who did like kind of the weird kind of dance fun thing. They were like the rock version of the jam band. Like with them and blues traveler kind of popularized like. But everyone flipped on them in the exact same time. It is, it sucks when that happens, man. It was actually like when you're like,

when you're just like every single person in the world is like, I'm good. Those guys fucking suck. In what movie were like riding a high? Weren't they like a very obvious punchline? in a movie a couple of years later wasn't it like the fucking spin doctors I'm telling you it flipped it flipped instantaneously

it happened with hooty and the blowfish too but they were more because that album was so huge everybody was kind of going wait a second what happened yeah how is this bigger than the Eagles spin doctors people like yeah won't you and then one day we all looked at each other we were like this they suck get them out of here

and that was it seemed like an overreaction it's perfectly fine pop rock songs. I think they have a couple good songs. There you go. Get the doctor revival going. Maybe they'll come back.

My last what's age to worst is I just can't see Amanda Plummer as a crazy person in a movie without thinking that she's going to go, I'm an ex.

Get every fucking one of the fucking one of you! I just, when she starts yelling at the end, I'm just in the coffee shop with her and Tim Rock. I like that little sneak preview of Pulp. When is that coming?

When next year's 30. When Pope comes, that's, and you'll know we're all out of here. That'll be it. That's how we will know. It's like, oh, my God, they did the Pope Fiction Puck up.

You mean out of here? Start packing. You mean, like, depart this mortal coil? Yeah, we're all going to die. We're going to move to Scotland together. That's right. The three of us. And Craig, we're bringing Craig.

That sounds nice. What was Amanda Plummer really quickly? Christopher Plummer's daughter. Yeah. She starts her career. Can't stand her. She's kind of normal in movies. She's in World According to Garpeaks me out.

Right? She played Ellen James. and rolled a curtain to garb. She's never played a normal character at any point in her life. But she's only psychos after this movie. Yeah. Right?

She's like a needful thing. She's in pulp. She's only like, oh, she's the bad guy. It's like she's like the one-arm guy and the fugitive. We're like, oh, that guy. Don't trust that guy.

Yeah, she, I don't think she could do anything other than play crazy. I think she's, I've always thought she was too over the top. I kind of liked her in Pulp Fiction. She's fantastic in Pulp Fiction. Honey Bunny? Honey Bunny.

I don't know if you guys have seen that movie. I'm getting around to it soon. I can't imagine any other actress in the universe as Honey Bunny. That's how good she is in film fiction. No. No. No. You have to be legit crazy.

If you saw Emma Stone sitting in a diner with, like, you would just be like, oh, wow. Emma Stone with like, I felt like Emma Stone could do crazy. I agree, but there's something feral about Amanda Plummer where it's like, did she just come in off the street? You know? It's a great point. Farrow is a, you could maybe get away with like, I was going to say Julia Fox, but. Julia Fox Yeah

That's not what I think of When I think of When I think of Julia Fox Not a feral I don't know about that one Chris Uh All right Jesus Christ

How dare you bring up Bad idea In a brainstorm I guess Well you know what Sean's feelings About Julia Fox Christ

The Queen of Long Island Come on Sean went to her book signing Julia Can you sign this to Sean Yeah I love the big picture Yeah

Thanks Julia You're my hall pass I don't know. It was actually like a six-month window with Julia Fox and the things went way crazy but that's six months. Man, we really had something. You guys had Aaron Rogers line out with Julia Fox

and cooking. The spin doctors. Yeah, it was all coming together for the Long Islanders. Ron Burgundy flew to where Best, Colin is spending. I know. Ron Burgundy flew to wear

best time for a pee break. Probably like right around when they get engaged to the wedding and you can just the actual wedding. You can jump into the bathroom. Was there a better title for this movie? I have a note about this, which is that it should be so, comma,

I married an axe murderer, dot, dot, dot. How do you feel about the spelling of axe? Well, it's not how to- A-X guy or you an A-X-E guy? I believe A-X is how style at the ringer. We need to confirm that with Craig Gaines. I think it's A-X, though. Oh, I think it should be A-X-E, though.

Because? Because that's how it's spelled? How is it? When is it, it's spelled A-X ever? I think so. I think Chicago style is AX. I've never been. So would you go with a better title or no?

I don't understand the punctual, like any of the punctual. It's just, so I married an axe murderer. Is that a sentence? I don't like, so what? I don't like the title. It's like, I think it has like a little bit of a, the one about like. Right, but where's the ellipsis? I know.

I'm just saying, I think it was in this, in the manner of the day of like trying to like make a funny sentence out. Like when Harry met Sally. I guess that's a little bit easier to understand. What would your alt be? You're right that it is clearly inspired by when Harry met Sally. Would you rather call it pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities? Is that better? So I pissed into the bitch's ocular cavities.

That would be an incredible prequel about Vicki. I do really want to have like the machine gun Kelly in Alcatraz movie. Should they've done it as a flashback in the movie? I had that in unanswerable questions. Do you think that story is true? Or was that Myers just coming up with it? No. Who knows?

We've got machine gun in. Come on in, machine gun. Here he is. I don't think it's the right title. What do you think it should be? Harriet, sweet Harriet? No. Who would see that movie?

If I was like, hey, Bill, you want to go see Harriet Sweet Harriet with me this weekend? There is a great slasher called Alice Sweet Alice. My killer wife? Something like that. My wife's a murderer? It's probably... My axe-murring wife? I don't know.

I don't know. This one is memorable for some reason. It's always irked me the way that it's styled. Maybe it's memorable because the styling of it is so bad. Best quote, basically anything Stuart McKenzie says. What's your absolute favorite? Float away, you fairy. Well, you know what's a funny quote?

When she's like, what do you like about a woman? And he says, I know everyone says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size. That's a good line. Now, for McKenzie, I don't know, he'll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow. There's a huge pillow. That's probably the best one. That just kills the Paglia.

He's like done after that. He's rolled over. All right, let's take a break, and then we'll do how to take. Snoring, gasping during sleep, feeling fatigued, ask your doctor about zebbound, terse appetite. The first and only FDA-approved prescription medicine for moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, OSA, and adults with obesity. Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with moderate to severe obstructive

sleep apnea, OSA, and obesity to improve their OSA. Zetbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15 milligram injection. Zetbound contains terseptide and should not be used with other terseptide-containing products or any GLP1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pins or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck.

Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. if you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulfonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsened kidney problems. Talk to your doctor.

Call 1-800-545-9 or visit Zepbound.lily.com. This episode is brought to you by Viori. Look, I'm not a big, let's hype up workout clothes guy, but Viori, I got to say, total game changer. been wearing a lot. If you see me power walking around Los Angeles, probably going to see me wearing some Viori. Sunday performance joggers that they have, it's made with four-way performance stretch fabric. One of the most comfortable things you own.

You will wear them everywhere, I promise. All you have to do is go to Viori.com slash simmons, and you get 20% off your first purchase with Viori. V-U-O-R-I-com slash simmons. Enjoy free shipping on all U.S. orders over $75, plus free returns, exclusions apply. visit the website for full terms and conditions. Chris, you have a hottest take?

I do. I actually just kind of sneakie think that Harriet and Charlie don't have any chemistry because all of the scenes which they're getting along are montages. So we don't really get a chance to see why she would like him other than like, I guess she thinks he's funny.

But... Yeah, they have fluid energy, but not like, what would they talk about it? dinner on a Thursday night energy. And this gets into much larger unanswerable questions than picking nits about Charlie. But for me, I think that my hottest take is like, that was a charity case by Harriet in almost any other

like scenario. My hottest take is related to that, which is that Charlie is one of the 10 worst movie characters in the history. We know nothing about this guy other than he has Scottish parents and he's a beat poet. Does he have a job? Does he have a career? I had that later. Yeah, I have that. So on the, this movie's on Max.

And in the description, it says, a bookstore owner falls in love with that, dot, dot, that. It's like bookstore owner, they never mentioned. Unless the implication is that that coffee shop is Charlie's and that there is a bookstore there. There's no indication of that. Yeah. He's like, I'm going up tonight. Yeah. So he's unemployed.

He's a beat poet. And his family's insane. And he has fear of commitment. Well, he clearly has time all day to just. drive around. Just hop. Drive around and hop behind the counter

at the butcher. The cat shit. Stopping by the newspaper to drop off this ad for my parents 30th anniversary. Like, what is this guy doing with his life?

Good job, Charlie. It's funny because my hottest take is related to your hottest takes. Nancy Travis, worst taste in men of any actress in the last 35 years.

This is great. Garcia in Internal Affairs. Incredible. Fucking domestic violence asshole. Charlie, the broke poet. Jeff from the vanishing who's going away on the weekends

fucking search for his dead girlfriend. Becker and Tim Allen. It's the fucking murderers. So we have to do the total affairs to complete the Nancy Travis trilogy. There's also Michael J. Fox and greed. That's the other one. Oh, that's a good one.

Yeah. What is it about her that's like, let's put her with the fucking loser or an asshole? I don't know. She seems like a lovely person. Yeah. Yeah. She's that very specific kind of beautiful that seems very normal. Doesn't seem unattainable. I loved her. She's great. She was like one of my absolute early 90s, all-time favorites. I think she hangs well with Myers in a weird movie where Myers is like, I'm doing bits here, everybody in this normal world. I'm doing bits the whole time.

I think she keeps up and sells it great. She still looks great. She's on. What is she on now? She's on that Tim Allen show now. Yeah, I don't know what show she's on. Yeah, she's on, yeah. Last Man Standing. I think that's a little. Last Man Standing. Okay. Unbelievable career.

Little Nolan Ryanish. Yeah. Still going. Throw high 90s. No hitter is still right around the corner. But yeah, I don't know why they didn't just put her in a normal movie. She was around for a... Oh, and she was also...

She was the lady from three men and a baby, but I don't know which one was the dad. But it was Steve Gutenberg, Seleck or Dancing. It was Gutenberg. Add him to the list. Damn, destiny turns on the radio. I forgot about this one. Casting what ifs. A lot of people attached to this.

There was some Chevy Chase thing. We know for sure that the studio wanted Gary Shanling and then they backed out and there was a big dispute about that. Gary Shanling in this movie. I think it would have been a lot more neurotic. Yeah. The fear of commitment,

I'm not against it. I'm not against it. I'm not against it. Probably would have been better with Chevy though. This feels like a Chevy movie. Yeah. Yeah. Woody Allen was allegedly on board for three weeks

and then wanted a lot of money. He's way too old, and I don't know how that would work. Yeah. I 90% believe this, but Sharon Stone was supposed to play Harriet, and she wanted to play Harriet and Rose and have them be kind of an interesting flex. I love that idea. Yeah.

I love that idea. And they said no. And then she said, fuck off. Not a bad idea. I don't want to dump my girl Nancy Travis. But the crazy twin sister as played by Sharon Stone. That's a, it's a different movie, but it's a cool movie.

That's pretty good. Can you imagine Tommy Schlavey with like two stars who are both playing multiple roles? Also, Mike Myers and Sharon Stone on the same set is chaos. Yeah, that's a good point. Myers wanted Ackroyd to play his buddy because he idolized Ackroyd. And Ackrode was making cone heads at the time. Double bomb. John Candy.

I'll defend cone heads. I'm sorry. I will. John Candy was the first choice to be the police captain boss, but couldn't do it. And then Gary Busey was supposed to be Vicky. But did Rookie the Year instead and dropped out. Oh, incredible performance. And then we end up with Phil Hartman.

And then I guess this is true. Sean Connery was supposed to play Stuart McKenzie. No. That was in this is half-assed. And then they tried to get Michael Cain as well. And then he decided to do it himself. I don't know. Who knows?

I'm thankful it worked out. way that it did. Sean Connery as Stuart McKenzie is fucking weird. Thank God that didn't happen. Can you imagine if Sean Connery was just in this movie for three scenes and it made like no money? It was just like one of them. It's like the last hand.

It's like Sputnik. He was a pretty hot Sean Connery's stretch too. Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge overacting word. They knew and they let it happen. Don't you call me lady. I come in here. I give these things to you. Give me.

Oh, my God. This and me. Keep it all you got! I treated you like a son. You fucking stand me in the heart. Fuck you. Amanda Palmer. Oh, I was actually going to go

for Myers here. Oh. Just for like... Hello! Hello! Maybe a little is actually funny. Should we bring it in? Should we make it a part of the show?

Chris, just start doing it. The Hello. Just start doing it on the watch. Do it in Andy, but don't tell... Like Andy makes a pun and I'm like, hello! Yeah. Do it on Monday's watch and see... and see if he's like, Chris, what the fuck

is going on? Why are you doing this? Doing a hundred times. Andy has a little bit of hello to him. A little bit. He does, yeah. A little bit of riffage. I'm in my own movie. Hyfitz has it. I can see Hyphitz did on a fantasy football path.

Maybe time to introduce hello to Hyfitz. He'll beat a bit into the ground. A lot of regular people catching strays on this pod. No, Austin Gale's a big winner. Yeah, he's the beat poet of the ringer. I love that. Defy you away. You called out the blitz.

Give me a kiss. Oh, my God. Best that guy award. Some incredible nominees here, including the AMCO mechanic from Kurb. Or Borat's prostitute date. Who was my winner? Lunell.

She plays the cop. Yeah. I couldn't remember where I saw her for a while. Then I'm like, and then I clicked. Yeah. She has a bunch of those over the years. She was like the woman at the checkout register at the beginning of a star was born too. Yeah.

I think Sheila Kelly works as well. Yeah. I take it on. Dionne Waiters Award. This is one of the hardest Deon Waders. No, it's not. It's Hartman, but it's an incredible. I do think Richards is like on the podium.

Richards like can't believe he didn't win it. Groton's in here. Who else would you have? Debbie Mazar is perfect in her one-level team. She's just like electricuted. I like that a lot. It's got to be Hartman, though. No, Stephen Wright.

He's a nominee. Some great Diancaids. I've never done it at night. Recasting couch. I don't know. I mean, you want to get Amanda Plummer either? Yeah, you want to get Olivia Dabo in for Amanda Plummer or something? Oh, like a...

Someone a little less obvious. Yeah. Yeah, I do think that it would be better to have a head fake. Yep. Then somebody who... Davey Mazur would be a good rose, honestly. Yeah, I love to be Mazar.

So it has to be somebody around Nancy Travis's age. They're a little lower, a little higher. But it can't be somebody too famous. Nancy Travis is 62. What if it was Glenn Close? Too old. How about our girl Sandy Bull? She wasn't famous enough yet.

Very non-threatening. Yeah. Yeah. That would be pretty cool. Is Sandra Bullock 62? If that's true, that's mind-blowing. How is she 62? What do you mean?

I'm just saying, like, is she around Nancy Travis's age? Yeah, 59. 59. She is the Nolan Ryan. That's remarkable. You see her in the Lost City? She's 59? Yeah.

My word. She's just a delight. Another one I loved. She's still around. Love potion number nine? She's loved her. while you were sleeping half ascertainerate research

Myers had to put three to four hours of prosthetic makeup on to play Stewart it's so funny because all he really needs is the glasses the glasses is what makes it yeah

there's some screenwriting stuff where obviously Myers rewrote that script and put in 90% of the bits because they're all like screaming Mike Myers but the Writers Guild

gave the screenwriting credit to the guy who originally wrote the script and Myers I was pissed about it. The restaurant, the Fog City Diner, where they eat,

that's gone. The butcher shop they used for meats of the world was actually predente meats on Grant Avenue. Still exists. Do you go to like

an independent butcher for your meats? My wife does the farmer's market one. Okay. Which is really good. You're a big McCauley's guy. I slaughter all my own hogs.

That's good. The hotel is the Dunsmure house Oakland. And then the cafe is Cafe Roads. It's in the bar, Vesuvio, which is at the corner of Columbus Avenue and Jack Kerouac Alley. Still exists, apparently.

Nancy Travis married the producer after filming this movie. That fucking lucky bastard. Great job by Robert Fried. Yeah. The movie didn't make money. He seems also like a pretty cool guy. All his quotes and like the so I married an axe murderer

20 years later kind of pieces are really delightful. The soccer game that they watched Scotland won 1-0-0 and it took place in Denver Colorado on May 17th, 1992 a mile high stadium, Chris. Yeah, I don't think the USMNT.

Who was on the pitch for us, do you remember? I can't imagine, but that was a pretty decent run for Scotland in the 902. They were in the euros and stuff. Yeah. Interesting. They were salt. That's got to be early Tony Mola days, right? Sure. And then an eyewitness said that Myers

doing the woman poem took like 14 hours shoot to shoot because he kept flubbing the takes and she said I hear it in my sleep sometimes woman hold on I gotta do that again

Apex Mountain Mike Myers now I'm gonna say yes for Nancy Travis with this and the vanishing at the same time I felt like I thought her career was gonna keep going up she went into TV instead I feel like she probably did

pretty well on Becker. Oh, yeah. Like 20 million people were watching Becker every week. It's kind of crazy. Did you watch one minute of Becker? Never. Do you know what the plot of Becker was?

A newspaper editor? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. He was a hat maker. I loved Ted Denson, but I was like, we had such a good with Sam Malone. I'm out. Dr. John Becker is easily annoyed.

He was a doctor. Yeah. By noisy neighbors, a ridiculous comment of flickering streetlight. He's a talented and dedicated doctor and goes the extra mile for those in need, but he doesn't waste a chance. chance to give anyone a peace of his mind.

Oh, it's a cantankerous doctor. Dr. Becker. Oh, yeah. I'm just looking at the Shawnee Smith, yeah, from the Saw films. It went from 98 to 2004. Yeah, Shawnee Smith. My wife's mom came over like a week and a half ago because we were gone for a while and she came over with her dog to hang out with our dogs for a few hours. And I was like, do I want me to put something on TV for you?

And she said, no. I was like, no, I'll put something on. You're like, you're going to be here for like two hours because she was waiting for somebody. She's like, can you put on the Golden Girls? So I'm like, I can absolutely do that. She's 83. So found Golden Girls on Hulu. I'm like, what season?

Like one of the earlier seasons? She's like, yeah. So we put in the first episode of season two, Blanche was pregnant. What? Blanche got pregnant, Rue McLeanhan's character. The character is pregnant? The character was pregnant. And that was, and I put that on and I left.

and I don't know what happened to Blanche But it made me think like this There's no way she was actually pregnant First episode of season too About the Golden Girls First of all I like the Golden Girls It's actually really funny It's a really funny show

She and Blanche Are on the younger side of retirement What like 59? I have we talking about I don't know I had no idea That Blanche was pregnant I don't know if that's Blanche was apparently like the heartlet of the group

She was So it was apparently She's doing it again She's getting around yeah Still Getty was not getting it I'm not kidding when I say I never had seen a single minute of it before and I was just kind of like You never seen the show before? Never, get the fuck out of here.

You never watch the Golden Girls? That's a rare blind spot for you because I feel like you're really up on all that show was a huge show and it was good. I know, I just. Craig, do you ever see the Golden Girls? No. That's funny. You should do like a 400 episode Golden Girls rewatch with Karis Bob. Were you into Maud?

Like do you have any B. Arthur stock? Didn't watch Maud. Wow. That's a big blind spot for you. My biggest B. Arthur, you know, connection is Jeff Ross saying I wouldn't fuck her with B. Arthur's dick at the roast, which is, that's how I always think would be Arthur now. The funniest roast joke of all time. Apex Mountain for Scottish people? I was going to say Scotland, it's an incredible run here.

We go 1991 Teenage Fan Club releases Banwagon-esque. Yeah. We got Scotland making the Euros for the first time in 19. Axe murderer, Braveheart in 95, and train spotting in 96. What a rent. The 90s belong to Scotland. And somehow we skipped going, you and me. We mentioned, I truly think that the early 90s right around now is pre-Silicon

Silicon Valley, San Francisco, Apex Mountain. This was like the best fucking time to go to San Francisco. I loved going. I love seeing my friends there. It was the most fun. The Maroon Volkswagen Carmen Gia convertible that he had. I don't know what year that was. Is that Quentin's car too?

Is that the Hill Bill car? I don't know, maybe. I don't know. That's a really cool car. Yeah. How about Hagus? Apex Mountain for Hagas? Probably.

Never seen that in another movie. Definitely where I learned about Huggis. Did you ever have a car where, like, if it started, was kind of like up for debate every single time? Yeah, the fucking sob turbo. Yeah. Crooks. Do you miss it? I hate Sive.

That's the reason that company was. one under. The worst car company of all time. It was crooks. Oh, they were. They were crooks. Why were they crooks? Because they made bad cars. I was just reading in a novel that was set in the 70s and this guy, it's like three pages of this guy trying to get his car started. I never think about that anymore. Yeah, and I was like, this is so weird. You just press a button and everything starts.

But like back then my dad used to have to like pump the gas five times, do the lock three times, And then pray and then turn the key. I've told you that. I drove a 1980 Buick Regal to high school for a year. Every morning was an adventure, truly. My dad had an Audi in the 70s that was same thing. It was like, oh, it started. It was like one of those.

Harder to get the parts for those to that. Yeah, because you'd have like one German guy in town could do it. Yeah, we hated Audi. We thought Audi was never. And then Audi made this huge comeback. Outies are great now. They were not great in the 70s. I wish, I liked aesthetic.

I really like sobs, like to look at it. Yeah, that was how they hooked you in. Isn't this car look nice? Yeah, it does. It's cheaper than BMW. Kind of a Nancy Travis of cars, you know. And then all of a sudden, tax murder. Crooks.

Hey, go find a sob now. You can't. Weekly World News. I think this is Apex Mountain for the Weekly World News. Never seen it used better in a movie. Okay. I'll go with that. The Paglia?

Probably the TV show. Pregnant 9 gives birth. these are facts How about McEwen's export beer? Yeah, I think that was probably creative Eight bottles? You don't think that was a real beer? Oh, yeah, I don't know.

I've never heard of it. Scottish weddings, Apex Mountain? Hmm. I feel like there's got to be another memorable moment with men in kilts Oh, McEwan's is real. My bad. The Caledonian Brewing Company.

Shout out to them. That's great. Chris, taking more shots. shots at the Scotland at the Scots Why don't you just get educated? You know, get over there, get educated. You spend plenty of time in the UK. How about beat poetry and movies?

Woman! I mean, yeah. Did you ever go see live poetry in your life? I have, yes, but not with the intention of seeing live poetry, with the intention of just being out. Do you think you and I have a close enough relationship that if I was like, Sean, I'm going to read a poem today?

At a cafe, would you come? I wouldn't come No I wouldn't come I would ask I'd be so mortified Chris is Would you be like I have to watch

Reptile for a third time Like I would only go If Phoebe went She would not go Because I want to see Phoebe Watch you read poetry No Have you ever read poetry to a woman

No No But you have No I have it I've read a short I've read fiction To a woman Fiction

But not my own What did you read I think I read, like... Sounds with the lens? I read, too. The Exorcist. I was like, this is where Shair list goes.

Craig, do you ever read poetry to a woman? No, I have not. Yeah. Never done beat poetry. No. Okay. So I don't have any relationship with beat poetry. Slam poetry?

No. Slam poetry was what was big when I was in college. Yeah, slam poetry at a moment. Pickin' Nits. We mentioned Charlie not having a job. The dad says soccer instead of football. It was a little taken aback. Complete bullshit.

Yeah, he would say football. What's that about? That was a Myers mistake. What do you mean? You think that that was a studio note so the audience is going to understand? Well, he's Canadian, so I wonder if they're just like soccer. Yeah. But like, he's just like, the soccer's on.

I don't know. Okay. Who makes someone a health shake as a surprise? I would just assume my wife was trying to kill me. A lot of her stuff is weird. He has reason to be suspicious. Her health shake also looks like Kool-Aid. Yeah.

Like, it doesn't look like a, like it went into a. It's also like weird. There's like multiple jokes about making healthy drinks. Like, you know, Brenda Flickers got like the juice. Yeah. The juice tiger, yeah. I, along that point, like, from a pick and knit, like, she's fucking weird. I know she's hot, but Jesus.

Like, she's talking about murdering on the first date. She's like, what do you mean? Have I ever, like, Brutley murdered somebody? She's just like, why would you say that? I would be like, I'm not going to marry you. You're in two. You're too weird. Yeah.

She's been through some serious trauma. She's had three husbands disappeared. Okay. You guys are bagging on Nancy Travis. Poor Harriet. Nobody at the wedding from Harriet's side brought up any of the other weddings or dead husbands. Never came up, even in the reception after when everybody's drinking. Like, hey, you know that Harriet's been married before.

There's a lot of narrative threading that you could nitpick. If you're a friend of Harriet, are you going to wedding number four? Like, how many weddings until you stop? going to your friend's wedding. Wow. That's a bold question. I'd go to two. Like, if Sean got married five times, are you going to all five?

Well, you know, the thing is, I like weddings. Julia, Fox would have been a quick wedding. I don't, and I don't necessarily want to buy five wedding gifts. Yeah. But I do enjoy a wedding. Even if the first three ended in death. Have you been to any weddings? Have you been to multiple weddings for any friends?

Like, more than two. Yeah, have you been to any second weddings? No, third is the one that I'm interested. I've been to a second wedding, not a third. third isn't that that to me is the demarcation point it's like you go on a shan's wedding it's number three yeah he's married jessica chastain let's go is she's still saying she's 49 yeah i say this from the bottom of my heart if i marry jessica chastain neither of you fucks are invited come on really that's hilarious just gonna be me and jessica alone be a jessie about yeah

She's trying to figure out that EGOT. How can we get that? I can help her. I know about the campaigning. That's what I have to offer her. How far away was the honeymoon that the Paglia had to fly? I don't know. It's a really good call.

It seems like it's just a plane for an hour. Yeah, they're going to big service? The cops get there one minute after he does. Yeah. And I'm like, so you saved a minute by taking the plane. Also, they know the storm. happening, right? Because he loses power so he's like, I'm going to fly right into that storm.

That's a really weird choice. Any other picking hits for you, guys? We mentioned a lot. Yeah, I mean, like, the Weekly World News really nailed this story? Yeah. Like, how did they nail it so well? I think everyone's, you know, one out of a hundred times.

It's right. Yeah. Okay. Sequel, Prequel, Prestige TV, all blackcast are untouchable. All blackcasts that you could talk me into for this. I would also go untouchable. It would be funny if Eddie Murphy had just done this movie and played other parts himself.

He was like crossed between boomerang and this. Noddy Professor. Yeah, it's Eddie Murphy, Nealong, and Vivica A. Fox as the sister. Yeah. Sounds great. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trao, Catherine Hines, Steve Buscemi,

Sam Jackson, Frank Vincent, J.T. Walsh, or Philip Baker Hall. I just want to say, I can't believe Buschemy wasn't in this movie. It was prime early Buschemy. I could see Bishemi as Tony Mm-hmm That would have been good Or just like a two-minute

Bishemi Like as like the Guy who checks him into the hotel Mm-hmm That's a good one Just something It just feels like he needed to be in this It's so weird

Do you have other thoughts, Chris? He'd I didn't know I was working With super detective inspector This lassie has a dubious past If she is an axe murder Then she is going to jail long fucking time

wait why scottish jenkins that might be it we might be done that might be the last one why is way that might be the last one I do Scottish Wayne Jenkins

Scottish Wayne Jenkins do you want me to do like here's the back story like we have a cop like he could just be Tony Giardino I like Scottish Wade Jenkins but there's no

lot of like a little fucking times let the man cook yeah Jesus I'm just looking for logic in Wayne Jenkins, and I can't find it. That's it. You're retiring Wayne Jenkins? No, I'm just saying.

That could be it. Scottish Wayne Jenkins. I don't know how we top that. Oh, man. I could see Philip Baker Hall in this movie, by the way. Oh, yeah. As Arkin or something like that. I mean, actually, Danny Treo,

Sam Jackson easily could have been in this movie. J.T. Walsh easily could have been in this movie. Yeah. It's one of those movies. Just one Oscar who gets it. I guess Myers. Yeah. Is Hartman in it long enough?

Would that be the shortest? Yeah. I would actually give it to Myers for supporting actors for Stuart. Wow. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Mike Myers says Stuart McKenzie. I don't know. Probably not. It's probably illegal. Oh, that's illegal. Is it intriguing? Do you think there's a law? Gavin Newsom is like,

I veto this to allow Mike Myers. I'd like to ask me Academy about that. Yeah, you should. Could you be nominated? Could Eddie Murphy have been nominated for one of the Nutty Professor family members? Right. I like the idea of,

one of those characters being significantly more moving than the other two. You know, we gotta give it to them for... Probably in answerable questions. Why is meats of the world completely empty one day and completely packed the next day? Packed. Incredible question.

Packed. Zero people to like 50. Makes no sense. Yeah. And why is she the only person who's working there all the time? It's a Friday afternoon. I will say McCall's, our beloved McCalls

and Los Phyllis. Yeah. Gets crowded? It gets really crowded on Fridays. Because everybody's like, it's barbecue's time. we got to get all the meats for the weekend. So maybe it was a Friday.

What is Haggis? This is actually answerable, but I want to go through it. It's the national dish of Scotland. It's a type of pudding composed of the liver, heart, and lungs of a sheep, minced and mixed with beef or mutton, suet, and oatmeal, and seasoned with onion, cayenne pepper, and other spices. The mixture is packed into a sheep's stomach and boiled. That sounds fucking disgusting.

I also don't know if people are, like taken down haggis on like a daily basis. I think it's like an older delicacy. I don't think it's something you just like, did the haggis come in today? Like you probably have to order that, what, four weeks in advance? She's got meats of the world. So she's got, she should have those things on hand. If there's a place that would be carrying it on a regular basis. What I just laid out, is that something you would ever eat in a million years? Would you have one by the day? Did you have haggis when you would scotland? I can't remember. I can't imagine you eating that. I'm pretty sure they put it on the plate one morning because

they changed it up every morning. We were there for four nights, so it's possible. I don't know. The food was pretty intense in Scotland. Any other in answerables? Best double feature choice of this movie, Chris? I got rear window.

Another great San Francisco movie. I also had a Hitchcock movie. There's a great Hitchcock movie called Suspicion. Yeah. Starring, Carrie Grant and Joan Fontaine. This movie kind of steals from her, right? Very much, very much based on this about a woman who's married a guy and she's not sure if he's going to kill her.

And if they feel very much in conversation with each other. I always like that plot. What was that they tried to do with Bruce Willis and Hallie Barry that didn't work. Oh, Vertigo, yeah. That's San Francisco, yeah. What's the one? Bruce Willis and Hallie Berry? What's they start dating and he thinks she thinks he's going to kill her?

Is that gothic? No. It's like a erotic thriller. Bruce Willis and Harry Barry. Hallie Barry. Yeah. Perfect stranger? Yeah, perfect stranger.

Oh, perfect stranger. I haven't seen that. I like those where somebody falls for. for somebody, but guess what? They have a past. They're not who they say they are. I have the vanishing for Best Double Future Choice. Just four hours of Nancy Travis.

Let's go. The Andy and Red Zawantana Award for what happened the next day. I think the marriage gets annulled. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, also, there's absolutely zero economic stability to this couple.

No. It's like a occasionally packed, but usually empty butcher shop and a poet. The last working poet in America. Soicon Valley comes in and blows these two out. Maybe they're living in Sacramento with sharing custody of a kid 10 years from now.

Since Amanda Plummer's character is going to prison, does she get sole ownership of that apartment? Because if so, that's prime real estate. Sell that. Maybe she becomes rich, man. What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? I really like the Atlantic City poster, but I'll go with the coffee cop at the beginning. Yeah. Or the Scottish Wall of Fame? The coffee cup? The disgustingly cleaned coffee cup?

Well, just like, hey, it's the giant coffee cup. The Scottish Wall of Fame would be pretty cool to just have, like, right there. You could probably recreate that. Yeah. There was two pictures I couldn't see. I freeze-framed it. There were two that I just couldn't tell who they were. I want the bagpipes.

Mike Myers' car. Chris always goes for the car. It's like, of course the car is the answer. Okay, Mike Myers' sports coat. Like, I don't know. You guys are getting old punchy. No. Like, what's, what's your?

Guys, guys, hold it together. It meets with the world's fun. I know. It's been a long pod. We're going to get through it. The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson. Get your marriage annulled if you find out on your honeymoon that your spouse was brutally widowed multiple times. That's an annulment.

Everyone understands. Throw that marriage out. It's a very good take. Who wins a movie, Myers? Well, it's a weird one, right? Because obviously everything he gives the movie makes it so memorable. Yeah. But it bombed, and he never made a movie like this ever.

again. And so is that a win? I think... Maybe the producer married Nancy Travis got the win. I do also think, though, we get the hints of what's to come here. So on the flip side of that,

like, do you get Austin Powers without this? Without him being like, I can do both of them. I think it's a win for him because I think it's his most beloved movie now. Who else would win this movie? Like San Francisco? Oh. Want to do that? Yeah. Does that make you feel better?

Solid. Sounds great. We're back to being friends again. Come on. Myers wins the movie. What are we doing? Did you like it? I loved it. You did?

I did. I genuinely enjoyed it. So Craig hadn't seen it. No. And when we told Craig, when we told Craig that we were doing this, I was like 100% chance Craig likes this movie. I don't know why it landed with me, but it really did. It's a great concept. I enjoyed, like, their weird execution of it.

I like the, I just think, this is the first time I've ever seen Mike Myers is not a character. Yeah. It's funny. Thinking about Mike Myers, he has such like a. big impact on my life, my friends, like Mike Myers is huge. And it's literally only because of Austin Powers. It's weird to have somebody with such a, I feel like I have such a relationship with. And I'm like, to be honest, I've never seen Wayne's World. I've seen the S&L sketches. I've never seen the movies. And it's literally just Austin Powers, other than like him doing things like

Conglorious Bastards. So it's kind of weird that I feel so connected to him, but it just shows how like big of a deal Austin Powers was. But yeah, I don't know. I think I like, I like S&LE movies where it's like you have the main character and there's just like a bunch of Dion Waiters from that like that era's comedy universe mixing in. And we don't, there's no universe anymore. It feels very independent now. And it's like you don't get the like,

oh my God, that guy's doing the three minute scene. And then there's a four, you know, even in like Happy Gilmore, it's like, oh, the Ben Stiller scene. We don't really get that anymore. And I think that's why I liked it. But I also just think. What was your single favorite scene? It's the beat poetry, man.

It kills me. Woman! Whoa, man! I also think Myers is one of the best yellers in comedy history. I think it's him and Farrell are the two best yelers. Farrell's probably the champ, but it's like a seven-game series. Yeah. And like, this was fun, the Fat Bastard Connections.

Yeah. Craig, did you also like that this was like probably minus credits, like a cool 88 minutes? Oh, yeah. 93 minutes total? Craig loves a short movie. Yeah. Craig would make the town nine minutes if he had a bigger say in the producer. I would just be like immediately over.

All right, that's it. Produced by Craig Horlebeck. Thank you, Chris. Thank you, Sean. Thanks, Mike Myers. You can check this movie out. It's on Max. I think it's on a couple places,

but it's definitely on Max. Yeah. So, good see you guys. Thanks, go.