The Rewatchables - 'Stripes’ With Bill Simmons and Brian Koppelman

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and showrunner Brian Koppelman join the Army! We revisit the 1981 comedy ‘Stripes,’ starring Bill Murray and Harold Ramis. Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Brian Koppelman Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What If the Len Bias story hosted by Jordan Ritter-Kahn is the Ringer's latest narrative podcast. You can find new episodes every Wednesday on the Book of Basketball 2.0 feed. Here's a quick trailer. You've heard his name, Lynn Bias, 1980s phenom, second pick in the NBA draft. And then, cocaine, tragedy, one of the most shocking deaths in sports history. 35 years later, Bias' legacy is still making an impact. From Spotify and the Ringer podcast network, this is What If, the Lynn Bias story. I'm Jordan Ritter-Con.

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What's everyone so down about? Didn't everyone make it with a beautiful MP tonight? It's stripes. That's next. What kind of man wears stripes? Got something in a low-rise bikini? A real man who can fight his way out of anything. Hang on!

A leader of men, a follower of women. You can't go! A tough guy with a soft heart and an even softer head. I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup. Bill Murray in Stripes, rated R. Starts Friday at a theater near you. All right, my friend Brian Cappellman is here. We only bring him out for the big guns.

You're picky. I can't talk you into doing, like, irrelevant rewatchables movies. has to be the icons. And Stripes is a comedy icon for us 40th anniversary this month. I couldn't have said yes faster. This is like crucially important to me to do. Yeah, very few movies have influenced my inner psyche more than this movie. And my whole friendship with my lifelong best friend is basically just patterned after

the Ziski Ringer friendship. It just is. So, yeah, I'm so happy to be here with you. So I went to college in the late 80s. you went to college a little bit earlier than I did. And this was during the era of you had a few VHS tapes. Different people on the hall had this one, that one. Somebody had Rocky Three.

Somebody had Animal House. There was like five comedies that were in the rotation that everybody watched. Some of them have not aged that well. Others have. But it was basically Animal House, Caddyshack, Stripes, Blues Brothers, Airplane was in there. For some of us, night shift with Henry Wicker. I know it was for me and Michael King, but there was like seven ones.

Mayo win the can. Yeah, May I win the can. Yeah. And I would say of all the ones that kind of everybody had, stripes crossed the board everyone liked. There were no stripes to centers. Everybody loved it. It had different impacts for different people,

especially in a college where when you meet somebody, like when we, the first week or so when I was in Wheeler 2 at Holy Cross, and we decided all give each other nicknames like they did in stripes. And it was basically like we were just, the scene where they go around the room. And I just feel like this movie was so influential. I don't know if it is now, if you're under 35, like for your son.

I don't know if Stripes is a good one. But for our generation, it's one of the icons. It's one of the ones, though, that still plays if you show it. So like, you know, Sammy's 25 and it's 21. So my kids, when I showed Sammy Stripes at 14, it's still played where some of these movies don't play. Yeah. Because of the friendship, because of the army, like the,

monolith of the army. Because you know what never goes out of style, man, is like the two rebellious characters against this, especially when you're in high school or middle school, against this monolithic enterprise that's going to have rules and regulations that you have to follow. Was trading places, were trading places in Princess Bride? Yes, trading place in other ones. Yeah, Princess Bride trading places were big in the rotation for our college thing. I was four years. I graduated in 88. So I think I was like four years ahead of you or something. something like that or five years. So it's similar enough.

But Stripes more than any other movie, it's possible that other than the Godfather movies, Stripes is the single movie I've seen them, and The Goodfellas, those I've seen more. But other than the Godfathers and Goodfellas, I think Stripes is like the next most watched of my whole life. Yeah, 48 hours in trading places,

there are two others who could have mentioned. There's probably, I don't know, there's eight to 12, but I just feel like if you were in college at any point in the 80s, early 90s, it was the same eight to 12. It was almost like an all-star team of companies. You know, it's funny,

as great as Beverly Hills cop is, and as I'm sure both of us could quote the whole movie by memory, cop didn't really get rewatched as much, maybe because of the way the crime plot worked or there were like dead moments in it. Like we love the, that'd be a neat trick. It eventually got there.

Yeah. I think it was a little more modern. I think there was something about from that, Slapshot was another one. I should have mentioned the slap shot too, from like 77 to 83, there's a specific field of those type of comedies, which leads me to something I realized as I was working on the document for this. There's this loser hero comedy era that unfolds.

And I think it starts with the jerk. The jerk's the first one, Steve Martin, which was another one that was in this era. Then you have Chevy Chase seems like all times. You have airplane where you have Ted Stryker is just this, you know, he's got a drink. problem. He's just throwing water in his face. He kind of rallies. Arthur with Dudley Moore, private Benjamin with Goldie Hawn, Stripes, Night Shift, Billy Blajowski, Mr. Mom. And then finally, I think, Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks. It was the same kind of thing. It was this lovable loser. The audience saw something in him, but nobody around him did. And we just like, he kind of knew

his life maybe wasn't going anywhere or needed to change it, but he couldn't kind of figure out the way to do it. And we were always on his side from the first scene. And this is a specific era of movies that kind of goes away by 84. It's so, well, when was risky business made? 83. That's another one. So risky business is right in there, I think. Joel is one of those guys, too. And you know, my personal Flamingo kid, which is a Pantheon movie for me and you, that nobody knows it is like that too. But what's fascinating about, I agree with you, What's fascinating about this movie to me, especially watching it again fresh, is because Bill Murray is such an incredibly special piece of casting. And because Ramos, you know, you rarely get a guy acting in a movie who's as smart in real life as Harold Ramos or as funny in real life.

And so you get these two guys and they just this absurd concept and you can feel the way it's sort of slap dash put together in some ways and improvised. But the two of them have so much depth to them. That's the thing about Bill Murray that's so special is like that scene. And I agree with you, right? It's this loser thing. But I was 14, Bill, when I first saw this movie. I remember where I was.

So just at the point where, you know, all you think about are girls in sports, right? 14, if you're as I was then, if you are someone who had 14 liked girls, I mean, basically all you think about is sports and girls and then like, yeah, movies and music or but basically it's girls in sports, right? And that first sequence, after he gets out of the cab, and he's home with the girlfriend, it like sank so deep into my psyche, like, because it was impossible.

It's everything you thought, wait a second, like there's such a thing as this woman who's a sexual dynamo. And like I remember hearing, I have to read books on the outside just to keep up. And his whole, you know, it's a little cute. You go nowhere, John. It's just not that cute anymore. It's a little cute. I'm part of a lost and restless generation.

What do you want me to do? Run for the sermon? I don't know what I want. Just know that I don't want you. And then the girlfriend's saying like you, I need somebody. I remember my mind being blown by, I need someone who's going to develop with me and grow with me. I mean, Jesus Christ, like as a teen, I was haunted by that. because I was like, I'm never going to grow.

I'm never going to, I'll never get to be a grown. Like, I knew I'd physically grow, but I was like, I'm never going to be mature enough to give somebody what they, I mean, it was like, so you completely identify with how pathetic it is. He's going to lose, you know, they cast this woman who at the time was sort of like, seemed completely gorgeous and unattainable, but somehow was with him, and he blew it. And as a teenager, you could just relate it so hard to it. And you were locked into his journey.

the whole way. I was anyway. I think I was 11 when I saw this movie. Right. And just him having the basketball hoop indoors that he could dunk off the wall and I was like, this is my guy. This is what I'm going to do when I'm growing up. I'll have pizza and I'll have that basketball hoop and I don't really care what else happens. Also like, yeah, that apartment, the production design of that apartment and then, you know, I mean, just every little thing. It's also there's like candy for you. if you watch the shit closely, everything is hilarious. Like the ball goes through the,

I mean, this is one of my nitty, we don't have to do this now, but the ball goes through the window. And he has like the big wrench there to clean out the glass. And then it comes up through the other. It's just, I mean, it's just, yeah, for basketball obsessed person

like I was too. And hilarious. And then Russell, and then, you know, Ziski shows up and suddenly you realize, I want to be absolute best friends with these two guys. All I want is to be able to spend time

with these two guys. And you can. You get two and a half hours of spending time with these guys. It's amazing. Well, and you also, Ramos and Murray had this history because they worked together in Second City, which they just seem so comfortable together. You just kind of want to hang out with them. If there's one of the flaws of this movie is there's not enough scenes just with them hanging out. Like once we get into all the war stuff and the stuff later, it's like,

I just want to like go places with these guys. I don't even care about this other stuff. The other piece of this was the Bill Murray. So he joins us now after Chevy Chase leaves. the 76 77 season does not go well for the first year to the point that he does the new guy sketch which is kind of a famous sketch it doesn't totally work but he's basically like

I'm the new guy, I get it, you don't really you know I just want a chance I just want a chance to prove myself but then over seasons three and four starts taking off and then Belushi and Akroyd leaves season five he's basically the star of the show so we all have

you know the Bill Murray stock from everyone who loved that show. He turns down Boone and Animal House, but he makes meatballs. And Meatballs is one of those where it's like, everyone loved meatballs. Meatballs could arguably be in that the 12 movies that everybody watched in college. It was like right on the fringe.

Some people didn't like this. Not me. Not my movie that movie, but I get it. I love him, but not my movie, yeah. Then he did the Hunter Thompson movie where the Buffalo Rome, which didn't go very well. Caddyshack becomes iconic. And then Stripes. And Stripes is where it's like,

Here's Bill Murray. He's carrying a massive movie that ends up becoming the fifth biggest movie of 1981. By the time this cycle is done, he's, I think the biggest comedy star we probably have.

He probably takes the mantle from Steve Martin, I think. He's number two behind Eddie, right? Eddie's number one. Eddie's not making movies yet. Eddie doesn't make movies until 82. Oh, oh, you're saying, I thought you meant of the 80s.

You're saying just in that specific moment. Oh, yeah, yeah, totally. Yes. He takes the title from Chevy Chase and he takes the title from Steve Martin and he becomes the most bankable comedy actor. Which is interesting because his next movie is Tootsie where he's not the lead. Well, he's not in credit.

He's not a good choice. He's not been credited. Yeah. Yeah. But then that leads to Ghostbusters eventually. So when did you fall for Bill Murray? When were you like Bill Murray is my guy. He's in my life for eternity?

No, immediately. He was my very favorite thing. Like I loved Saturday Night Live so much. And Ackroyd and him were the guys that I loved the most in that. you know, when he joined. Because I was, I was 10 and 76. You know what I mean? So it was the perfect, like if my parents had plans, my Saturday nights, if I could sneak

up into like their room, because they were, let's say, downstairs or out. So they had the good, I didn't have a TV in my room, but I could go into their room and I could switch off between pro wrestling and SNL. Yeah. Because SNL would start 1130, pro wrestling would start at 12. And so I would switch off between those things. And then at a certain point, Bill Murray just, I would never miss, I would never want to miss a Bill Murray sketch. And then, and then Stripes just, that was the movie.

I literally could, I watched in the theater multiple times. As soon as I got a VHS, that was a movie that I watched over and over and over again. Levine and I would watch it together over and over and memorize every word. to it. You know, it was the thing. And that's the thing from that era, because we had way less cable channels. We didn't really have MTV yet even in 1981. It existed, but not in the way that it would a year later.

We didn't have the internet, obviously. We didn't have DVDs. Very few people you knew had VHS tapes. And if you had one, they were really expensive. So you either try to tape it off the television or you knew somebody or you paid for the $100 stripes or whatever it was. And it just, there were certain movies that if you had your seven, eight, you would watch them like 40 times. Well, did you, let me, I have a question. Did you, because this, your question is a great one. And I would say, were you, I've never asked you this all the time we spent together. Like, in eighth grade, were you getting in trouble a lot? Or were the teachers, were you getting over on the teachers? Like, were you able to fuck around with your friends without getting caught all the time? Or did people know you were a big, wise ass in class in class? And so, were you. And so, were you able to fuck around with your friends without getting caught all the time? Or did people know you were a big, and. And so,

Sometimes your parents got called. And I know your dad was in the school. Like, I know that there were reasons you probably had to behave yourself because of who your father was. But how did that play out for you? Did not, was not as much of the wise ass later. I was the wise ass fourth, fifth grade, not as much later. Right. So, but I, so for me, I was in trouble.

I was given to, I was in trouble all the fucking time. Yeah. And so in this, in this movie, when you're asking when Bill Murray owned me, I mean, it was literally when he was like, it's a little cute. In that moment, with that girl, you know, his girlfriend's screaming in him and going, it's not funny anymore, John. It's not cute. And he goes, it's a little cute. And that was all you were trying to say to your teachers or your parents or anyone else was, come on, I'm doing my best. Like, this is really hard to be like a human and a body and a person. And so I was always in trouble. And I viewed myself after that as, as him. And I remember I would act in the plays in

school. And I remember going to like the eighth grade drama guy who was great guy. And I was like, please go see this movie. Please go see this movie. And he came back and he was like, no, that's not, that's not real acting. Those guys are ironic. They're aware of that they're being whatever. And he said it. And he put words to this thing. And I was like, right, that's because your general. But for me, from my generation, that's all I want to fucking, like, those are who I am. Like they started that whole ironic detached awareness of the absurdity of your situation. And I think that's what's different about this than a lot of those other movies you talked about. Like the jerk, Steve Martin's sensibility is absurdist with a capital A.

But this is like they're playing it real and they're kind of playing it the way you and your buddies hope you'd be, which is to wise off to the fucking teachers because that's what Sergeant Hulk is and that's what the captain is too, Stillman. they're the principal and the teacher who are barking orders at you and you just don't want to fucking hear it and so you're getting detention. And this movie is all about. That's why the movie works so well.

It is that. It's everybody's life when they're 15 or 16. Again, you would have had a harder time being a wise ass because of your situation. But I just did it. And so this really meant a lot to me. I felt understood by the movie and by Bill. And then you have letterman comes in 82.

Yes. I think Murray was the first guest. Yeah. Which I don't think it was an accident, but that's when the whole ironic era really kicks in. I felt for Murray, I started watching SNL 2 when I was 10, but it was later. And they were doing those half hour greatest hits. So I started watching those. I thought Belushi was my guy.

But then Murray on the nerd sketch, that was what got me. And him giving the Nugis and that was where I was like, this is my guy. And I love meatballs. Meatballs was more for me because I was. younger. Yes. Caddyshack and then Stripes. And it was like, this is my guy.

I fucking love Bill Murray. Then he would come back. He would host SNL. He would go on Letterman. He was like, you know, really the most important guest Letterman would have for the first couple of years. He was tapping into that Seinfeld, Michael Keaton, early Tom Hanks, all those guys. But Murray was like the royalty.

And Murray was still a pretty young guy. But he had pretty much become the off-camera Bill Murray legend. I think even before Ghostbusters, where it was just like, it was clear that he was just more likable than Chevy Chase was. Chevy Chase in movies was likable, but just seemed like a dick.

And you couldn't, when you would see him on talk shows and stuff, you're like, oh, that guy's a dick. Bill Murray always kind of won you over as he was being a dick, which I think was the difference. Bill Murray,

you sensed that there was like this light inside of him. You're mischievous light. There was this light inside him. Yes. that it wasn't coming from a place of thinking he was better than you. It's just that you and him were better than all these idiots. He had a way to enlist you, bring you onto his side.

I agree with you. Look, Fletch is fucking hilarious, but I never once wanted to spend a moment with Chavez Chase in my life. Whereas to this day, the idea of getting to spend time with Bill Murray is pretty amazing. You know what I mean? Yeah, there's been multiple magazine features about it, about writers just getting to hang out with them for today.

So if him, if Ramos, who's who co-refer, Road Animal House, Meatballs and Caddyshack, directed Caddyshack. And at that point, it just seems like he was going to be behind the scenes guy. But Murray really pushes for him to be in this movie, becomes a sidekick. And then eventually goes behind the scenes and has a really great career, much like Ivan Reitman, who at this point is at the peak of his powers. And the Reitman-Ramus relationship was important because it became the successor, basically. Ramis can't be

Ramis' role can't be overstated like what he did to American comedy comedy movies you got to give him an enormous amount of credit for all this stuff as you said writing those movies directing Caddyshack

and you know when you think about the fact that he made Groundhog Day movie that people will be watching in 50 years from now and that those two guys got to do that together before are set. Like, I want someone to write the book. Before the dissent, yeah. I need someone to write the book. I still don't understand. I don't have my arms around what happened between them at all. But it seemed like it was too much professional. We did a Groundhog Day pot a while ago. So I did some deep dive on

research about it. And it seemed like there was some professional competition stuff and just a long history. Yeah. You know, where you've just known somebody before you're both famous as you're becoming famous after you became super famous and there was just a lot of baggage with both guys was my takeaway but i think i think ramus was really hurt by it and i think murray eventually kind of realized he was in the wrong because i think he was impossible on the groundhog day set i'm sure that all the research said like murray was a nightmare on the set yeah i'm sure ramus was trying to direct him and murray didn't want to be directed by at that point by him or for whatever reason but but those two guys together

in this movie are one of the I would say they're one of the greatest buddy teams of all time and they should have made like what you were saying

you wanted more of them I mean they should have made like the Bob Hoping Cry they should have made a million of those movies together right they just should have made a million of them together

and it's sad that they only made a few block it's great they made these blockbusters but it would have been great if they made 10 fast movies together. Well, the legacy of the loser hero comedy era, other than it made a lot of money and was pretty much defined a seven-year period, a decade or so passes. And then all the sons of that

generation who watch them growing up, now all of a sudden, this is Sandler's career. Sandler makes a billion dollars from this exact recipe. Tommy Boy, same thing, dirty work with Norm McDonald. Like, all of those movies from 94 to 98. And then Apatow, who's like kind of the grandson of the era or maybe like the younger, younger brother of the era. Then in the 2000s, he does his twist on it with all his movies that he makes from 04 to away, basically. And this just becomes a thing.

I don't know what the era is now for it. Nobody's really brought this back. Now it's almost like we're doing it with little kids, like good boys, movies like that. it would just feel so derivative. I guess the hangover movies to some extent. And I guess one of the writers of this, one of the writers of Stripes produced all three hangover movies.

And so that connection was really fascinating to me because I think that there is a little bit of that in there. So you have the supporting cast, John Candy, Judge Reinhold, John Dio Warno, it's PJ Sol, Sean Young, John Laracet. There's also some cameos from people like Timothy Busfield, super young ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.

There's a lot of people in this. Reitman thought the idea up. He was on his way to the premiere meatballs, which he directed. And he had an idea for a movie called Cheech and Chong joined the Army. And we'll get into the casting what ifs later with that. $10 million budget.

It made $85 million. Fifth biggest movie, 81. Can you guess the four movies in 1981 that were bigger than stripes? I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to say there would be an action movie in there. Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones won.

Well, I'm thinking 80 is the year. 80 is the ordinary people year. So this is the year after ordinary people and after Raging Bull. It's not a year I studied as well. Go ahead, tell me. On Golden Pond is two. Sure.

I saw it in the theater. Yep. Superman 2 is 3. Came out the same weekend as Raiders. Arthur is 4. Amazing. Made almost $100 million. Stripes is 5.

And then Cannonball Run and chariots of fire. That's our top seven. Chairs of fire, somebody made almost 60 million bucks. Roger Ebert said about stripes. Three and a half stars. An anarchic slob movie.

A celebration of all that is irrelevant, reckless, foolhardy, and disciplined, and occasionally scatological. It's a lot of fun. He was a fan. I love that. I love that he was a fan. Yeah.

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Get savings with yellow sale signs storewide and everyday low prices on 365 brand items. enjoy the fresh flavors of spring, save at Whole Foods Market. Most rewatchable scenes. So I just love the first 12 minutes of this movie. It's about as strong of a start as you're going to have, really the first hour. But the first 12 establishes in so many different ways that this guy is a loser, but you like him. The opening scene, he's getting a shoe shine with terrible boots. And he goes, my philosophy, a $100 shine and a $3 pair of boots.

he's parked as he comes out of the shoe shine and he's parked in front of a fire urge and gets the ticket takes a fare the guys jump out takes this old lady in her suitcase accidentally hits the balls with the suitcase which apparently really happened and then ends up driver

and dumps the keys then we're cutting back and forward with Harold Ramos he's teaching a foreign language class nobody can speak English son of bit shit we got all that and then and then Murray's coming home he's got the upside down pizza,

which he drops because they're repossessing his car. The dress from the repossession. And it's just like all the beats leading to his girlfriend laying into him. But I think it's one of the strongest establishing this guy needs to change his life that you're going to see in a movie. And the whole time I like him. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You love him because the woman is, you know,

when she says, I've never gone this way and he says, I'm sure there's lots of ways I've gone that you haven't. He is, you're just on his side. He's got an answer for everything. And one of Bill Murray's great gifts is there's no way we can tell when he's improvising and when he's on script. And so it all feels like he's such a great actor.

You know, it all feels like it's improvised. It all feels like he's just throwing it. And that is an incredibly difficult thing to do in comedies. You know how sometimes in comedies people just seem like they're going like, bup, bup, bup, bup, boop, boop, joke. But Bill Murray, it just actually seems like he's thinking of these things and saying them. He's a great, great actor. And that is like the, that's the special skill and twist of this thing is what a great actor the guy is.

Because you just love him. Have you ever worked with somebody who could add lip stuff on the fly that was better than the stuff you and Levine wrote? Very rarely. like it depends on the like as far as having a batting average that's incredibly high it's very hard to have like an incredibly high batting average at that where you really beat what's been grinding on and worked on

I will say you know like Edward made it we made a great deal with Edward at the beginning of the movie and you know and we basically said if you have a moment where you want to improvise something throw a bunch of ideas out and then if you there's a lot of line you think you can top, just go for it. You talk about rounders. Yeah, and then together,

let us together, we'll refine. And he was getting down for that. So it would be like, he would say six or seven things sometimes in a spot where he wanted to come up with something. And then we would go, yeah, that one, work on that one. Like, let's do that better. And he was great at it. But he also would only do it when he felt like he could top it. Like, for instance, snow and parogies he came up with.

And, you know, that killed us. So I remember standing by the monitors, he said snowing parogis. And we were like, yeah, yeah, that say that every time because that's better. But there were plenty of times, as there are in every movie, where you just go, just go back to what's great. But that's a great, like when you're in, that's a good process. And then on billions, just the only person who ever emphasizes on billions at all is Dan Soder, who's a great comedian.

And comedians are great at this. So occasionally we'll ask Dan, he'll never do it on his own, but some, you know, Maffee, but sometimes we'll just say to Dan, hey, at the button of this scene, just riffed. for a while and give us something, but he's really the only person. Again, because he's used to doing that in his life. Yeah, the actor training in the 70s, especially in comedy, where all of them came out of some sort of improv thing. Yes. That shifted eventually. And then I think more people are probably more likely to come out of stand-up comedy now and be a writing stuff. We're writing a TV show or movie versus, yeah. Ramis comes to visit John, which has the

dunking on the indoor hoop, a little help, the five bishops, we talked about that. The meeting everybody's scene, which I'm just going to say now is my most rewatchable. We get to meet Cruiser, Psycho, Ox. We get Lighten Up Francis. We get Lee Harvey, you are a bad man. We get the big toe speech.

I want to party with you, cowboy. Murray just taken over the movie, basically. And it's just great to be in the same room with everybody. Chicks dig me. because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you.

I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination. Lee, Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow and your friend tried to miss me. Make it with the cow? I want to party with you, cowboy.

So, you know, I made a promise to myself when I was very young, because like I said, I was obsessed in this movie from 14. And I'd promised myself that if I ever saw Bill Murray in the world, I would go up to him and I would do the whole speech. Oh, no. Chicks dig me because when I rarely wear underwear, when I do, it's usually something pretty unusual. Now I know I lose chicks to guys like you.

It's not just stories you take, you know, all that stuff. It's not just the uniform, tell. I know it by heart, Bill. And I'd always promise myself that I would do it. Years go by. But I do occasionally, when the movie's on, reaffirm it. And I once read an interview with him where he said he met a guy on a street who came up to him and start quoting lines. And he's like, and I really liked that guy because, hey, if you found my stuff funny, I probably like it might find him funny. So I was always in the back of my mind. Unfortunately, though, you got to flash all the way forward to like me as a grown man in my early 30s in the same business as him like just maybe

we made one movie so I'm like 31 years old but I'm in a nick game and I'm in great seats like the sixth row and I see in the front row there's Bill Murray and he's near somebody I know and I got check it and I'm like am I am I who I am, who I always promise myself I'd be if I don't do this. But on the other hand, if I do it, I'll be so embarrassed. And if he knows that I'm in the business, I mean, it's a career killer and you just look like such an asshole. And they're like so many people around who know me because the Knicks game, you know,

I just know all these people in the section behind me and in front of where I am. But I decide I got to do it. And I, oh, no, you did it. I go and I go, I knew one of the security guards because it was like close enough, this guy Carmine, I was like Carmine, you got to get me to the floor. And Carmine takes me around to the floor. And I walk past like a guy that I know. And then there I am face to face with Bill Murray.

And he looks at me and I look at him and I just say, chicks dig me because I rarely were under, and I did the whole fucking speech to him right there on the floor at Madison Square Garden. and he just looks at me as though I'm the craziest fucking person in the entire building like he cannot because I'm like in a I'm wearing like a sport coat

you know I'm like gonna go out on a date after I'm like a sport code or whatever my wife's with me were going out afterwards and uh but I fucking did it man I went up to him and I but I didn't I didn't identify that I was I didn't tell my name nothing but I fucking read so yeah that scene is the most

I mean, I literally memorized it and carried it around with me for 16 years or whatever to fucking tell it to Bill Murray. And he did look at me. And I said, I go, I had to do it. I promised myself when I was 14. And he was like, then I hope you're proud of yourself. And I was like, yeah, man, I'm kind of proud of myself. And then I just walked away.

Just turned around and walked away. But I did. Unbelievable. Like a lunatic. He's got to come full circle. He's got to be like season seven of billions when him and acts by like the bears. Yeah. Well, I didn't have the guts to do part two of it because I did get to, I did get to have dinner.

with him once and I did I you know years later I got to have dinner with him and like there were four of us at dinner yeah four of us at dinner five me plus four people at dinner and I told myself on the way I was like oh I'm totally going to tell him that I did that at the next game and then instead I was like so nice to meet you sir you don't I didn't do it all you did the double yeah so nice to meet you I totally didn't have the balls to be like I'm the lunatic who came up to you and I just did I but I felt I at least did the one the one piece of it so So I agree. That scene is the most rewatchable. I mean, because also you could equally have done that if Candy were still alive.

Candy's speech is unbelievable. How about Francis? Unbelievable. Every college dorm had Francis. We had a guy who we used to jokingly call Francis, where it's like, call me psycho. He'll call me Francis. If you touch my stuff, I'll kill you. Yeah, I'll touch stuff and kill you.

Oates goes just after his dad, lighten up Francis. It's so good. That whole seat is so great. I have for rewatchable, when they go to General Barnacke's house, Bill Murray and PJ Souls, who we're going to get to a little bit. The spatula? Spatula is amazing.

Apparently, all filmed the three in the morning, and Murray was improvising the whole thing and just really clicked with Souls, was just trying different things. All of that's really good. I actually like hanging out with the four of them, and I think it could have used like two more double-date somethings with them, where they're just, I just like the interactions with them.

The, the ceremony when they show up late and they do the whole thing was, as a kid, was my favorite part of the movie. Yes. Do you not have on the list, the, the, I was just the training, the first training sequence. For me, the first training sequence. That in Woods Age the best. Oh, okay, fine. Yeah.

Good. But to me, it's a rewatchable sequence because the guy's balls on the log. Yeah, all that stuff. And then I try to keep it tight. I really like when they land back in America and they do the newspaper headlines for what's, what happened everybody. Oh, that's hilarious. Which was this late 70s, early 80s gimmick that has just kind of gone away.

I think Animal House basically started it. But we have the Holkeberger franchise. Unbelievable. We have PJ Souls at Penn House. If Ziski rates the Russians, their pussies. Dream Date with Ox. News World, the new army could America survive? And then Laracap in the Arquette Command Newsie.

Oh, that's the best. No, that's the most satisfying, for sure. But don't you also think the first time you meet, for me, the first time you meet Stillman and he says, I wish it were a lufa is pretty hard to beat too. Pretty unbelievable. What introduction to the actor. Well, no, you hit, I mean, you hit, obviously, these are the things. But the training sequence and of mud wrestling. Tell me you didn't, I mean, again, for the teenage fantasy thing. Right. Tell me that that mud wrestling thing didn't seem to you like one of the most amazing things you'd ever seen in your life. So I had that in there, but I have some questions about that scene because they're, well, I'll just do it now. It's a nitpick for me. Why was the police raiding pom-poms? I didn't understand it. It's just, it's a strip joint with mud wrestling.

Why was it getting rated? Wasn't the, was the MPs rating it? Because it's the MPs who come in and take them away, right? I think that they were acting in a manner unbecoming. Oh, well, that, that scene, I mean, that's the famous John. candy scene. He holds up the bikinis, all that stuff. But that scene is, is, it's hard to understand what happened, why the two of them get to go away and not be with the rest of the troop. It definitely is a monkey wrench, but it's really funny. Yes. Um, what's age the best?

So I don't know if this was the first time we had this in a movie, but the year going nowhere, John's speech from the wet blanket girlfriend. I feel like has been ripped off for 40 years. but did somebody do it before this movie? The year going nowhere speech to the guy we like. We're like, no, no, he's going to show you wrong. He's going to go somewhere. Oh, yeah. I mean, certainly.

I feel like it invented this. I mean, we certainly got that enraging bull. Oh, that's fair. But in the comedy, you were saying like in a in a in a in a comedy. Yeah, this has been this particular girlfriend has been in five Adam Sandlin movies. Like it, it became you. I agree. No, it's going to happen.

Jack Black, what's that movie, School of Rock? Oh, no, you're right. It's coming a million of them before. You bring them in. All right, so that has the name's the best. Candy's first appearance when he's got the long hair and the cigarette. How you doing Eisenhower? It's the fucking greatest.

I'm Captain Stillman, the new company commander. Please meet you, sir. Fine looking group of men, wouldn't you say so? Boy, I hope this is the mess hall. How's it going, Eisenhower? Excuse me, stewardess. Is there a movie in this fight? I can love Jack Candy.

The Judge Reinhold era, where he's in fast time, stripes, and cop one and two, kind of underrated. Well, okay, this gets to a great point, dude. I'm so good you just brought up that moment because he's only in the movie a little bit. Yeah, Judge Reinhold. Yeah.

There are more great throwaway. This is a thing about what's aged the best. One of the things that's aged the best to me is the throwaway line that someone else would build a whole scene around or it would be the biggest punch line. But in this movie, it's like everywhere you turn, every word anybody says is fucking hilarious. Like, what are you smuggling? Furs. That is so deeply funny in the context of that. And then Judge Rydholt fully selling out on.

on no man, drugs. And then Ramos doing that fucking head bob with the strip search. That's just a little thrown away moment. It doesn't matter at all.

But it's the kind of gift that the third time you watch the movie, you're just, you know, what are you smuggling, furs, becomes something you can carry around

and say in 20 million different situations in your life. And that's the Judge Rodger, the two of them, Ramis and Judge Rineholt. It's just a beautiful fucking moment.

on film, I think. He was also on Gremlins. He was also on ruthless people. And he was in one of the, which is the Switch movie that he was in? You know, like the one that lost to Big, right? Big was the hit.

And then he was in the other one. So that's where it flips for Judge Reinhold. He's in vice versa with French Savage. Yes. Yes. And he gets market corrected by Big. And that was his chance to be like, now I'm the leading guy in the movie.

He's got some cop one and cop two momentum. He's unbelievable in Cop 2. Incredible. Cop to him and John Ashton kind of almost steal the movie from Eddie, who's at his apex. John Ashton, John Ashton is, John Ashton's a god as an actor. He's kind of the Robert Horry of comedies in the 80s, 90s. Let me tell you how good John Ashton is. He is unmiss.

That guy did not miss. He did not miss. I mean, you think about him in Midnight Run. I mean, yes, everyone can talk about John Cazale, because all his movies were great. But John Ashton was so solid in every single, if he would have been alive and thriving in the TV, premium TV area,

he's Dave Costable, he's Zelgian. He's a guy with a huge television career where he's on every one of those franchise shows. He's a CSI, you know, the third lead on every big show. Right. And timing, he was like a player out of his show. era in a way because he was so great 100% agree another would say it's the best Sean young and PJ souls great casting amazing Sean Young's first movie PJ souls right at the tail end of she had been

in Carrie Halloween Halloween like one of the most famous uh woman I think who've been in a who've been murdered in a horror movie because that's I think probably the most famous horror movie and she has the ghost sequence what's the matter Bob did I get your ghost and then it turns out it's not Bob, it's Michael Myers, and he's going to strangle you with the phone. She's in Private Benjamin, and then she's in this. And then as it happened a lot with actresses in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000, you had that five-year run, and then that's it. You just got replaced by the next person, but she was really good.

And Sean Young, obviously, you know, had an unlimited upside, and the business thought she had an unlimited upside too and then for a whole series of reasons. A legendary nightmare. Well, nobody, there's a lot of different versions of what the story really is. And nobody, we talked about it a little bit

on Wall Street. Nobody really knows. What, you know, we did the Wall Street, probably talked about a little bit because she basically cut out of that movie. But she's so charismatic and so terrific in this film. You know, just great.

And she does Blade Runner the following year. We found out in Raiders that she was up for the Karen Allen part in Raiders and had been in on all the auditions and all that stuff but didn't get it. Another would stage the best. Then we do it a few times, but Candy just fucking with John Deal, who was like the stupid guy,

just teaching him how to play poker. Let me see your hand. And then later on, he just keeps fucking with them taking advantage of him. It's just really good, underrated. You know me. You know me. I'm Mr. Vegas.

Yeah, that whole run there. I mean, you got to figure that was pretty important to me. Yeah, huge, that whole thing there. Morewood's age the best. The score. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Great sense. Elmer Bernstein, one of the greatest composers in the history of film.

And he crushed. I'm so glad you brought it up. Dun-na-na-na-na-na-no-no-no. I like when it would go low. It would come by, we get happy again. It was just, it was really good. You could tell he was having a great, time, he was just having a great time with it.

Another would stage the best. The South American deleted scene that I never knew about until it popped up on YouTube where they deleted this entire subplot where it's a bummer and it's weird that they deleted it because this was the cocaine comedy era where just weird shit would be in movies and we'd accept it. Like the best example ever is Caddyshack. There's no reason for Ty Webb and Carl the Gardner to be in a scene together. Right.

It's like, oh, he's playing night golf, and they just felt like they had to have a scene. Didn't have to make sense. We just want to see them in a scene. So in this one, Winger and Ziski, Ziski takes LSD thinks it's jamming, so he's tripping. They go AWOL, they stow away in a special forces paratrooper mission in South America, become lost in a jungle. They're captured by Spanish-speaking guerrillas. And then they escape because Murray does this whole, Cuando, Kondo, Kondo thing, which you can see on YouTube,

wins over the guerrillas. got out of it and it's like nine minutes and they all love the scene and they're like this doesn't it derails the movie we got to take it out so now it lives on on YouTube where was it supposed to go in the movie that's what they couldn't figure it out it was like does it go but after Germany before Germany like where do you what is this where do we put it and they just decided this is even too weird for the cocaine 80s yeah maybe maybe only in the sequel you could have done it yeah I agree Good that they cut that. I would say,

I think just like the whole idea of Harold Ramos and Bill Murray together age the best. Like this friendship, right, is an age the best thing. Warren Oates, don't you think, and also Sergeant Hulka. Hoka burgers. What's age the worst?

There's that comedy era, Porkies, this movie, other stuff, or they're just working in boobs for like four years in comedies where there was a lot of like peeping on women through binoculars and shower holes that now I think would be treated differently.

Just pointing it out. The final third of the movie, Ramos is Ritman, one of them is basically on the record Ritman as like, I never really landed the plane in the final act, but it's fine. People love this movie.

It was super successful. But it's like, We go from, I had this in, I had this in probably in answerable questions, but all of a sudden we're in Czechoslovakia. Stillman leads the platoon over the border. Hulka realizes that they're in a bad spot, jumps out, leaves the troops to be handled by the Soviet army, makes a Mayday call to Bill Murray and Howard Ramis, who are tooling around in the EM 50 for no reason at all, they realize they have to go save everybody

and the four of them go back and they basically infiltrate a Soviet base, rescue everybody and nobody is murdered. It is bizarre 20 minutes. It gives us, though, a line that I have said so many times in my life, which is it's like Wisconsin. I once got my ass kicked in Wisconsin,

which is for me, like I can't tell you how many times I've turned to Levine when we are making it bad, about doing something our whole lives and just been like, well, it's like Wisconsin. And then the other guy says, I once got my ass kicked in Wisconsin. And so the whole basically last third of the movie is just to give you that line and one or two other moments. And you get the, you know, where the fuck is my truck. I mean, Stillman showing off for one of those girls

wanting to show the, wanting to show the armored vehicle off and then finds out that the guys are joyriding with their women. Yeah, the last. third of the movies, a disaster of a screenwriting exercise. But the first two thirds are so good that it just completely doesn't matter. I agree it. I had the sort of portrait.

You know, before I watched it again, I wrote down portrayal of women as one of the worst age of the worst. But the truth is the two MP women are great. They're smart. They have a ton of agency for themselves. But yes, Laro Kett's character, Stillman, um,

looking at the The showering woman through the binoculars, not something that's in any way. It just wouldn't happen now. But, you know, it was the early 80s. I think in general, during this 77 to 84, the cocaine era, basically for Hollywood and comedy, things could be incoherent and it was okay. You could just kind of have a movie completely go off the rails. And there were so many bizarre things happening in movies and even TV at the time that it was

like, oh, all right, they didn't land the plane, but it's fine. Caddyshack, the whole golf course blows up. Blues Brothers, they blow up the entire city of Chicago as they deliver this check. I mean, it was just kind of what the era was like. But it also goes to how funny the movie is that we don't care. Like, you care, but there's still hilarious shit going on the whole time that all of that awfulness has happened. We'll take one more break and then we're going to do the rest of the categories. I wrote a little song to remind you, Choice Hotel.

Get you more of the experiences you value. The Can be a hotels got it all. A rooftop bar, have a ball. Bring a date, your squad, or even your mom. Book direct at choiceotails.com. All right, casting what ifs. So, Reitman had the idea at Cheech and Chong go to the army. Cheech and Chong's manager thought the script is very funny.

They pitched it to him. The comedy duo wanted complete creative control. That falls through. Reitman and his writers changed the characters to suit them for Bill Murray and Harold Ramos. And they figured they could get Ramos interested if they get Bernie. They were right. Columbia Pictures did not like Ramos' edition. They pushed for Dennis Quaid, who was married to PJ Souls at the time.

Who knew? Ramos decided he wasn't sure he wanted to be in the film. Murray said, I'm not going to be in the film. If you're not, Ramos ends up going in. The rest of his history. One more casting would have. Kim Basinger was offered the PJ Souls part, but her agent wanted a crazy amount of money,

so they grabbed PJ Souls, even though she'd just been in private Benjamin. That could have been Kim Basinger and Sean Young as the two MPs. Young Kim Basinger, it's it. If it's Basinger, it actually, she was such a star and anything she did at that era, the camera. She's too pretty. The camera, it doesn't work.

She would draw the whole movie to her because of how much charisma. Can't work. and how much star power she had then. So it was a lucky break, not to get her in it. You're not buying that she's an MP. You're not buying that she's falling for... If you are, you're just...

The camera is just only filming Kim Basinger. She was at that moment, you know, arguably the most beautiful woman in the world and also a good actor. So she had that double whammy of there was no way she wasn't just going to take over the movie if she were in it. And that would have just been strange

for what this movie is. Next category. Best That Guy, aka the Joey Pants Award. So you have John Deal, who ended up in Miami Vice. You had a cameo from Oger who ends up in Revenge of Nerds and Bloodsport and First and Ten. Donald Gibb is his name. I think the best that guy is Francis, who was played by Conrad Dunn.

I never knew what his name was. It's just like, if you saw him in anything after that, it's like, hey, it's Francis. You're just, you're Francis from that point on. So you're not going Warren Oates or Laracette? Because Larichette was not famous. Neither of the, Warren Oates was very famous. They became famous, though. But Larichette was not famous.

I mean, Larichette was not famous then, really. But now when you watch it, he's Larichette. I guess you could say in the moment he was like, oh, that guy. I think so. And also John Candy. Though we could give John Candy the heat check, I think, probably. John Candy's coming. The Vincent Hayanna, give me all you got a word for overacting.

What do you got? Oh, that's fascinating. Who do you have for that one? I had Francis, even though I like the performance, because Francis is just, he's just going for it. And I think you could make the case for him. You know, it's not a big, I'll tell you, even though he's the best thing in the movie,

the truth is Harold Ramos does a lot of overacting in that movie. Like, if you think about the faces he's making behind Bill Murray all the time, and not just next to candy too, yeah, next to candy, but also when Bill Murray apologizes, if you watch when, when, when John Ringer apologizes to apologize to Hulka after the first time he's, you know, I got a hell of a sense of humor,

anti-corporal, and then they go and pick their underwear out and stuff. And he's apologizing to Hulka. And right behind him, Ramos is just sort of like making faces and doing all this stuff. And I think you could make the argument, even though Ramos is a genius in it, that maybe he's doing a little bit, he's pushing a little bit hard to make sure that, you know, because he was the least experienced. experienced on front of the camera. Right.

In a way. The Jed Nelson Award for the people who seemed like they were in a different movie. This obviously has to go to the two Czechoslovakian armor, armed guards who are just starting there. I don't know what movie they're in, but it's different movie. The Deion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check. So runners up, Dave Thomas. Oh, yeah. He was the mud wrestling endorse.

Amazing. He's really funny. He's great in it. Judge Reinhold, very high batting average for very few lines. the guy I played Francis but it has to be John Candy him is Ox All-timer

We had some One of our friends freshman year We called Ox Basically because he just was A little bit heavy set But had the same kind of candy hair cut And we called him Oxie hated it But Ox was

You know Candy Do you feel like Candy's movie career If we played it out 20 times That we got the best version of it Because I feel like we didn't Well, he just died so young, man. But he died in the 90s.

We had old 80s with him that it felt like more could have happened. Well, like, I do think he's incredible in certain things like JFK, which someday we're going to do JFK, right? And JFK, he's incredible in JFK in that little tiny scene. I like him in Blues Brothers. Yeah, of course. And Uncle Buck is like a classic in its own way. Uncle Buck is amazing. Plains trains and automobiles?

And yeah, planes. Yes, here's what I think. Look. Those aren't pillows. I mean, I think John Candy, yeah, if you put it this way, wasn't there a time that if John Candy was in a movie, you were basically going to see it? There was for me. Like, if John Candy was in a movie on a Friday night, I was going to go.

So did he make every great choice? I'm not sure. I just wish he had had his version of Stripes. The closest was probably Uncle Buck. Uncle Buck is that, though, I think. Yeah, it's not stripes, though. I agree. There was, like Tommy Boy.

Boy, wait, planes train. is a massive cultural. Plainstrans on automobiles is sort of still, I think, a beloved film for people. Do you not think so? I just wish he had one more. I feel like we could have gotten

one more awesome John Candy movie in the 80s. Recasting couch. I'm going to blow your mind. Perfect age for this. And he did it in taps. Young Tom Cruise is Francis. Yeah, that'd be incredible. That'd be incredible.

He really would. have committed to it, right? He would have been like, I'm a psycho, I'm Francis. And he just, he would have shaved his head and he would have method acted the shit out of it, a little like what he did in taps. Then, I mean, then you got to go, Sean Penn as that guy too. Sean Penn would have been good, too, either of them. Halfass internet research. So the military loved this movie. They gave the crew a ton of access, loud than to shoot in Fort Knox. Real troops played extras, all that stuff. Oates, everyone loved on the set. He would tell stories about the Wild Bunch and they would just sit around. Even Bill Murray liked him.

He didn't really like anybody. Two people were injured during the filming. Warren Oates was grabbed by some actors and dragged in the mud. They didn't tell him they wanted a genuine reaction. And he hit his mouth and he chipped one of his teeth and was really mad about it. And then Laracette broke his nose when he discovered the M50 in a scene where he actually ran in a door. And they had to not use that take. And then every time you saw him after, he's got a lot of makeup on.

So that happened. Bill Murray, the Oh My Ball. really happened. He accidentally hit himself with the balls in the suitcase and they just kept it in. The basic training haircuts, they didn't tell the actors that was happening. So the reactions of people like Candy were genuine. He didn't know who's like getting an action. He didn't know was that at that minute. Wow. This is half-fascar. Oh, that's a Nick Pit though. We do pick a knit with the fact that Bill Murray didn't have to get the military haircut. I have that later. Yeah. Okay. I could do it now. But why wasn't Bill Murray and Harold Ramis? Why weren't

their hair? Why didn't they? Yeah. Everybody else. us to have a crew cut and those guys get to look like movie stars? It always killed me even then. Even at 14, I was like, wait, that's bullshit. I buy the rest of this, but that's bullshit. I'm guessing Bill Murray didn't have like a shitload to work with up top and they didn't want to go too far because they needed him to have his little peninsula thing in the top. It was the right decision, but I guarantee you they did.

It was the right decision, but I can guarantee you, Bill, that they did many tests. They would have done many tests along the way to see what they could pull off. And that was probably the best that they could, that was right best they could get. I don't know if this is true. This is why this is half-fast internet research. But Bill Murray and Sean Young did not get along on the set. Sean Young did not like Murray's method of ad-libbing during scenes, and Murray said, I'm never working with her again.

Who knows? Seems plausible. Don't know if it's true. This one we do know is true. John Candy invited everyone over to his house while they were filming for homemade spaghetti from his wife to watch the No Mas, Sugar Red Leonard Roberto Durant fight. Incredible tidbit. Awesome.

Just perfect. Apex Mountain. Bill Murray, I'm going to say no, I think it was Ghostbusters. Coming out of Ghostbusters, he has the most Jews sway everything he's ever going to. Harold Ramos is an interesting one. I think you could argue it might be here coming like as an actor slash director. After Groundhog Day, he became like one of the most important directors in all of Hollywood. but as a figure in the culture,

Harold Ramos was at the apex of, Harold Ramos probably for like this little moment in his life was cool. There was probably just like this one moment when he was like super cool because Egon is not cool, right? By the time he's playing Egon, he's doing something else. And of course he got much wealthier, so it depends how you define it, right? Ghostbusters made Harold Ramos wealthy for the 10 lifetimes over or whatever. But this movie made Harold Ramos a movie star, which you could say it's set up Ghostbusters.

I think so, right? I think so. I don't know. Maybe this wasn't in Zaypex. I'd think about this one. John Candy, no. Military comedies. You could even say military movies because we had Private Benjamin in this movie.

We also have Officer and a Gentleman in 82, and this was this weird era. We had Taps. We had Lords of Discipline. this was this really weird movie era with just kind of taking us under the hood with the military in all these different ways. So military comedies definitely. And I think you could make a case for military movies too. I think that's a weaker case because of platoon and stuff.

But yes. But that's a Vietnam movie though. I'm saying like people joining the army. Oh, sure. Yeah, great. Going to school to become soldiers. Yes, this is an officer and gentleman. I love that.

I love that as an idea. Yes, I love that idea. Yes. PJ Souls, I think Halloween is her Apex Mountain. It's the greatest horror movie of all time. Sean Young, no. A Blade Runner, probably. That moment in her career, Blade Runner, and then Wall Street

before Wall Street turned bad. I mean, she's amazing and no way out. She's incredible in that movie. I agree with you. I want to do that No Way Out as a rewatchable just to give her the Diem Waders Award. Laracette, no. He became a massive TV star.

Goofy closing credits. that are actually really funny. I still feel like Animal House did the best. When it turns out Buttarski was a senator, that's the biggest laugh you're going to get from those gimmick in the future credit things, right? It's Warren Oates, right? Warren Oates has to be the Apex Mount.

He's an Apex Mount, no question. Reitman, no. Mud wrestling in a movie? Was this the greatest mud wrestling moment in the history of a movie? I feel like the answer has to be yes, right? Pom-poms is like the, it's like MSG with the Sheik versus Sergeant Slaughter. I mean, getting, I mean, when Candy comes up, when, when Ox comes up with the, the, the

bonds. All the bikinis, yeah. When she comes up, when he comes up at the bottoms, it's a pretty winning moment. And they're beating the shit out of them. Yeah, they really go at them. They go out of hard. It's like a five-on-one. Picky Knits.

We talked about why didn't those guys get their head shaved. Don't understand it. Why there was a rate on pom-poms, you tried to explain. planet. Why these jackoffs got promoted to the EM50 project in Italy based on showing up late for their ceremony. Self-starters. That's the fact, Jack. They were self-starters. And the old crusty sergeants like, let's get these guys for the EM 50 project. That's tough. This is my biggest nitpick. Why was the EM 50 so unimpressive? Couldn't they have spent like a hundred grand? Yeah, they just didn't have the budget for it. It looked like a fucking minivan. It's bought, but I think they

sold themselves on the idea that that will be funny. I think when they didn't have the budget, they sold themselves on the idea that everyone freaking out about this thing that just looks like a Winnebago will be funny. But I can't believe that this one nitpick slid past you and it's going to bother you now forever. I wasn't done, but go give it. Give it to me. Can I give you one? Is it right? You might have had it. I mean, you might have had this. But as a guy who's played more room basketball than almost anyone you know, I don't know what shot he was attempting when he threw the ball through the window. I don't know.

It's not a shot. He just throws it out the window. He's trying to say he goes up as though it's a hook shot. And then instead he just throws it through that. That's not a hook shot though because it the hoops over there. It's the parabola is all wrong. It really bothered that moment. What's he doing?

What shot is he, what shot is he shooting, Bill? It would be like if Kareem did a sky hook in the finals and just threw it into the seventh row and hit or hit spike reed or something. Pat, Pat, Brian's face at the thing. Yeah, I mean, I don't understand it. It's a great one. Great point. I just had a picky niche just in general.

I would have done at least one more double date scene with the four of them. Love it. But just go to a diner and have just tell Bill Murray like, hey, we just added this. Before you're going to go to a diner, just sit in these booths and do Bill Murray stuff for like two and a half minutes. Talk about how you ended up in the army. Just give them your backstory in some way. And I, because I don't mind, like obviously everyone points out the thing about the bag underneath his head after they, you know, when they get caught and he's banging his head against the thing, how that bag is there and then it's not there. But I don't care about any of that.

This movie, that's just fine. That's perfect for it. The basketball, the basketball through the window really, really bugs me. That's the biggest. Could this, could this be remade as a 10-episode Netflix show? No. Probably in answerable questions. We already covered the last 20 minutes of the movie.

Wait, this could be made as a. Oh, I think it can be definitely be made as a Netflix show. I think it's sacrilege. Oh, I wouldn't. I don't want someone to mess with strikes, but I think. You could do it. I'm just saying I would not do it. One could make an entertaining show out of if you found the right to people.

I don't know who I watch it with. Here's what should be the Netflix show as officer and a gentleman. That one could be a Netflix show. You could easily do that. I still haven't recovered. I still have not recovered from David Keith's demise. hanging. How about naked loggia? I can't. There's a lot of scarring. There's a lot of scarring thing. If you haven't seen

Officer and Gentleman, just know going in, it's not like stripes. If you're going to go watch that movie, it's not like stripes. Officer and gentlemen, I think is like a great movie. I would give it the great. I would give it the great movie. Richard Gere is great in that movie. By the way, Apex Depper Winger, that run she had. Deborah Winger. I got no one else to go. Yeah, Debringer was at a, she was at a, she was. was ripping them off for like five, six years. That movie in Urban Cowboy back to back, I mean, forget about it. She was incredible.

David, obviously defined this performance of David Keith's life, not to be confused with Keith David, people. And then the girlfriend, who pretended she was pregnant. Oh, my God. And then all said, tough, tough one. All right, so here's my big unanswerable question for you. Is this movie better if it just ends with the ceremony? and we never have the EM50 part of it.

And we just add stuff so that it ends. The ceremony is how the movie actually ends. We add more stuff in the middle. We have more backstory with Bill Murray and Ramos and the two MPs and a little more time with candy. We have one more pom-poms excursion type thing. And then it just ends with basically they have to graduate and Murray figures it out and we have the ceremony in the movie's over.

Maybe. Maybe. I think though if we think about it, welcome to Italy gentlemen is such a great moment. Right. The moment that Hulka walks in and says, welcome to Italy channel. So you like the validation.

I like the moment they go there and he's like, welcome to Italy. But then, and then I, because I love a bunch of the stuff right then, just then in Italy. But from there, it's a disaster.

And I think, yeah, I agree. They just should have rewritten. Someone just should have suggested after the table read, like they all sat around it, someone should have been like, man, this last 30 minutes sucks. Like, what else can we do? And then they could have gotten around a table. Because I read that even that scene that's our favorite of them introducing themselves,

the original version of that didn't work so well. And Bill Murray took everyone back to his trailer. And they all sat around. And he implies in an interview I saw that they all got fucked up. and then they rewrote that sequence. And I wish they would have just done that with the end. But I love your question. I guess then you would have had to have a visit from like their parents or something

or like that woman would have had to found out that now he's like looking good and tried to get him back or something. You know what I mean? It would have been a totally different movie. Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing her again as like she's kind of got the hots for him again, but he's already down the road with PJ Souls. Yeah. Yeah, I think it could work.

What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? I got to be honest. I know I made fun of the EM 50 before, but I think it would be a cool thing to have in the driveway. Like, what is that? It's the EM 50 from Stripes. You could make that, what's that 40-year-old minivan?

Do you ever see Stripes? Well, you could make it your gaming room. Like you could set up a gaming chair in there, and that could be where you play video games. Or, yeah, for you would be great, too, because you could actually set up screens and you could go there to watch sports. Or it could be like,

like my son's hangout. Yeah, great. My son's like, I'm going to go hang out at the EM 50. I just think I'd want the spatula framed. Spatula, great one. Just framed. Or the apartment. The apartment would be great.

Like the set that was the apartment. Oh, yeah, what was that? Like a two-room studio? Yeah, that was a... So the basketball hoop would be even bad. I'd rather the basketball hoop than the EM50. The hoop would be incredible. The hoop, but if you could have just that whole setup,

because they also somehow, he's so poor, But they've got the putting, you know, the automatic putting machine. They got all that shit in there somehow. It's a pretty good bachelor pad. I have a bonus unanswerable question for you. Do it. 14-year-old Coppelman. Yes, sir.

Who was he more in love with PJ Souls or Sean Young in this movie? And now, Copplement in his 50s. Yeah. Who are you more enchanted with? Because for me, it was PJ Souls initially, but now I think I like Sean Young more. You're right. I rewatch. That's it.

That is the only way to, that is the only way to score. I like that Sean Young likes Ramis. Of course. She's like, this is my guy. I like this, this nerd.

He's got this semi-cru car, but we have this intellectual something. Well, that's that great moment when she checks, when Sean Young checks them through, and then turns around to face PJ Souls. And they have that, they like meet eyes about these guys.

And there's so much humanity in Sean Young's face. Like she feels for them somehow. She likes them. Yeah, She's a, look, Sean Young's a great actor. And so, yeah, I think that's a good answer. You're going to bring her back for season eight of billions. Maybe she's married to Bill Murray.

I think you should give her a podcast. I think you should give her a special Spotify podcast. Sean Young has a podcast? No, you should give her a podcast where she talks about. She tells the truth about all the movies she was in. Oh, man. Like Sean Young's version of events? If like a six, yeah, you do like six episodes of season where Sean Young is like,

my Hollywood. My Hollywood is the name of it. And she tells her Hollywood stories of each movie that she was in and from Sean Young's perspective. So it's almost like those wrestling podcasts where the old retired wrestlers talk about the greatest matches. If Abdullah the butcher giving his take on some match that happened in Mexico. Yeah, you know, Mil Muscarus really was kind of an asshole. Like that whole thing? Yeah. And you and I are the only ones listening to it. Me and Shoemaker, the only guys who listened to it. Who won the movie? The answer is Bill Murray. That's not even a debate. No debate about that. That's who won the movie. I mean, you could, someone could say, Ivan Reitman, but no, Bill Murray won the movie for sure. Stripes. 40 years old. Does that make you feel old? No, wait, did we do, we didn't do best quotes yet? When are we doing best quotes? Oh, I think I skipped it. Go ahead. Give me a couple. Don't we have to run through the quote? Because I think there are just so many. Can I just rattle off a few? Yeah, rattle off. And then we'll go. What do you smuggling first? How's it going? I said, just pick. which is your favorite. How's it going, Eisenhower? These my men, chicks dig me. I'm the little acorn that becomes the oak. You think I'm officer material walking tall, looking good. And then depression

sets in. How about this one? We're not parking it. We're abandoning it. I mean, how many times did you say it and your friends say that walking into a bar? Convicted? No, never convicted. I would say we got to say what didn't last so well was the obvious homophobia running through the whole film. Yeah. I would say that is not, that is a staple of that time period. And then I have seen you, I think, whether you've said it or not with the attitude of, you know, tripping on something and being like, have that removed. That's one of my favorite. I will say I've said have that removed to Dave a thousand times in my life. So those are some of the biggest quotes.

And then Wisconsin is another one. What's your favorite quote? I think, Tito Puente. I think Wisconsin's the single funniest, just quote. Just the single funniest one line. Other than the $3, Shishan. One more. I love the draft line when he goes,

you know, they stopped the draft and then Cruz says, there was one. There was one is a great, also a great throwaway quote. So do you feel old that this movie's 40 years old? Because it may be felt a little old. I don't like when I can remember seeing a movie in the theater that is now 40 years old,

because I do remember seeing this in the theater. That's the difference between being 51 and 50. At 51, you're still figuring it out and fighting with this question by 55. You've accepted it? I've accepted it. I tell you, at 55, you're no longer late week. Does this make me old? It's like, I'm fucking old.

I'm 55. Yeah, I got, you're still at that place where it's an open question. But sadly, Bill, it's not an open question. Yeah, fair. All right. It was good seeing you. Next time we'll see you where we'll be doing JFK. In person.

In person, much later this summer. And then we'll work on our 10. documentaries, Simmons versus Kauffelman. All right, my man. I'll talk to you soon. It was great to see. Thanks for you. You're the best.

Bye.