The Rewatchables - ‘The Martian’ With Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan science the sh*t out of this episode after revisiting the 2015 hit ‘The Martian,’ starring Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Jeff Daniels, and Chiwetel Ejiofor. Directed by Ridley Scott. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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My team must have thought I was dead. Surprise. No matter what happens. Tell the world. Tell my family. But I never stopped fighting to make it home. The Martian, RAPG-13. All right.

We have a. four-person show for a movie that has been shockingly rewatchable. It only came out five years ago. It's a rare modern rewatchable. Van Lathen is here, Sean Fentasy, Chris Ryan. And we're going to talk about a movie that got shut out at the Oscars, but did get nominated for seven of them, is one of my favorite Matt Damon performances.

Sean, I'll start with you. Is this the most entertaining science fiction movie? Whoa. Damn. Yeah. I was going to give you a heads up. I was going to ask you that, but I thought it'd be more fun to horrify you and take you by surprise. I mean, that's just really strong. Like, that's just a, that's a bold claim for the last hundred years of movies.

You think this is more entertaining than Apollo? Well, I'll give you the candidates. Ban, pay attention. This is really important. I am. I'm listening. I'm saying entertaining. I'm not saying best.

I'm saying entertaining start to finish. Our candidates are aliens, Terminator 2, Blade Runner, Children of Men, under the skin, gravity, the Matrix, Mad Max Fear Road, Edge of Tomorrow, Inception, and the original Terminator. I don't think 2001, as great as it is, is necessarily an entertaining romp. Depends on if you've dropped a tab of acid or not.

That's a real question for 2001. Where are you at in your trip? I can think of several movies on that list that you just named that are more entertaining than The Martian. And I love The Martian. I agree. I love the march. So what do you guys have?

Give me your most entertaining. You didn't even mention Minority Report, but I would say Minority Report is a more traditionally entertaining movie because it's a thriller. I'm definitely going under the skin, man. That's just like a laugh at a minute. That's just like a thriller eye.

I mean, Terminator 2 is more entertaining. Terminator 2 is, that's like an all-time classic. That's in the 100, is that in the 100-greatest movies conversation? So I don't think the Martian is that big. Chris, Terminator 2 is also my answer. I think that's the goat for me in this conversation. I think that there's, that's like a, you're massaging sci-fi. Is this the most entertaining space movie?

I think it's in, I think it's neck and neck with probably aliens and Apollo 13 for me. Okay. Ben, what do you have? I'm asking a question here. So when we say space movie and sci-fi, we are just completely disqualification. find anything Star Wars. So none of those movies count. You guys are counting those fancy.

Because I would say, I would say that the Empire Strikes Back is more entertaining than this movie and then many of the other movies that were on that list. And if you're talking about space, then obviously Star Wars fits in that. And I'd say that Empire Strikes Back

or I like Return to Jedi as being just as entertaining this movie, if not more. I agree. Yeah. My point is it's not the most entertaining, but it's very freaking entertaining. And what I like about it is it's a start to finish ends in one thing. There will be no sequel. Just a movie that somebody created from scratch from a book that was written within the last 10 years. And there's no attempt to say, hey, we're making nine of these. It just kind of comes and goes. And I don't feel like we have enough of those. Chris, what's your favorite thing about this movie? That it's about movie making, I think. It's essentially about problem solving and ingenuity and doing your job and being excellent at your craft.

This is a guy as a botanist, but somehow uses all the training that he has to live in indescribable, unbelievable conditions for such a long time waiting for his rescue. And I think that it's kind of like a testament to Ridley Scott, who's like the ultimate visual artist and sort of pros pro when it comes to directing. And he gets to make this this kind of like really like you're saying like you don't see these anymore, but these like kind of standalone blockbusters without any theme park possibilities, without any action figure possibilities, without any happy meal possibilities. But everybody on this movie does their job at their absolute maximum capacity. Like the production design, the cinematography, the special

effects. The music's great. Every actor is just delightful. The only thing I have, the only problem I have with this movie is it's like the least dramatic drama. I mean, there's just never a single moment where I'm like, man, I hope Matt Damon makes it. I hope Mark makes it. It's like he's gonna make it.

This is watching the highlight reel on SportsCenter. You know the result. To that point, I think what I love about the movie is that despite what you just said, the stakes are still astronomically hot. If any character in the movie, were three IQ points dumber, he dies.

Like any character from the top to the bottom, right? And that's very rare in a film. If she doesn't see him move in the thing, if she's not good at her job, if his whole crew, if they're not as brave as they are, if he is not incredibly, there's so much problem-solving done by every single character.

It was really, if the Chinese don't get involved, what kind of thing, that's how you know this is a fantasy. The Chinese and the Americans are working together. If they don't get involved, you know what I mean? So if anyone drops the ball, he dies. And so just watching that all play out is kind of what I love about the movie the most. Sean? Yeah, I mean, Van is tapped into my brain.

This movie is an incredible relic of the Obama era in American history. I mean, it just feels like a completely different time. It's a movie that's dedicated to faith in a government institution. It's a movie that imagines a world in which the United States and China can collaborate to save something. It's a movie that values science and intelligence over everything else. It's truly like it valorizes the people who are the smartest people. And it does not feel like we live in a world where that's the case right now. And it's also like the ultimate star vehicle.

And it's also, you know, I just realized. this last night watching it. I was like, this is the first Zoom movie. This is the first movie we've ever got where it's basically just people looking at each other on screens and communicating and not just Mark Watney, but also the other astronauts and also Benedict Wong's character. Everybody

is just in-screen communicating and it kind of foretells what's coming in the future. Well, it's funny. This movie gets beaten by the Revenant in the Oscars, which is a weirdly similar movie in the sense that it's a star chewing up

scenes by himself, which doesn't happen very often. As you guys know, I love Tom Hanks and Castaway. I did cast away by myself for the rewatchables. This is, this definitely taps into that DNA, and I think The Revenant did too. You talked about how it's a star making. It's a star performance. There's not a lot of actors that could have pulled off. I'm in Mars. I'm talking to some camera. I have no idea if anyone will ever see these videos. I'm going to crack jokes. I'm scared, but I'm not going to be too scared because I'm the hero of the movie. Like, it's really a movie Tom Hanks makes probably in 1993 and you go through these checkpoints of people who could have been in it, who could have been in it.

Van, how many people could have been in this part? Like, I feel like Denzel could have done it. Matt Damon, Leo, Danzill, Matt Damon, Leo, Hanks, because you have to, you have to have to have a comedic confidence in the role that it's very hard for a lot of actors to like pull off because this guy, the reason why he doesn't, the reason why Mark Watney doesn't succumb to panic is because he knows

that he has in his head what he needs to figure everything out, right? And he's lighthearted about it. He never really shows, ah, until the one part, right? So I'm trying to think, you really, maybe Will, maybe Will, could have pulled it off. Peak Will Smith could have probably pulled it off.

You know what I mean? Smiling a lot through it. Like what, are we talking like 2001 range, Will Smith? We're talking, I am legend. Yeah, yeah. As if he hadn't had enough of being by himself, you know, let's get him to do some pull-ups up there on Mars. Yeah, Will Smith could done it.

I'm with that. Will Smith definitely, just guys like that who can ride that line between giving you a fine active performance and giving you the star charisma performance. Maybe Tom Cruise, maybe. Chris, what about Pacino? I was actually thinking Irishman-era Pesci. I got the potato

and the bike get in I think Pacino could have done the I've got potatoes turning into shit I've got a transformer that doesn't work I had been saving this for you

but I was going to say it's just like you know who's looking at us NASA Hello motherfuckers Okay motherfuckers Time to refuel. Sean, what actor does this movie go the worst with?

Oh, man. What heat check actor who's like, I can do this, I'll be the Martian, and it just goes wrong. I don't think this is a good vehicle for Jim Carrey. Yeah. I think you, because the whole movie, right, is that, and I think what Van is saying is right, too, which is that Mark is persisting through this time because he knows he has to perform for the camera, right? Like he's doing these diary entries and he's looking at the camera all the time. And that's keeping him sane.

If you turn a camera on Jim Carrey, his face starts melting and exploding all over the place. And he would just go way over the top. And you need like, you know, Damon has this kind of calm, sly, subtle sense of humor that really carries the movie. I have one for you guys that I think would have been really fun. I don't think it's as good of a movie, but I think it would have tapped into something that I really like about him. Sean, hold your seat here. Adam Sandler. I know.

It sounds weird, right? On paper, but it's like... NASA! Gabago! No, no, no. Not that, Adam Sandler. I'm talking about the punch-drunk-love type of, funny people type of...

I'm actually going to take this movie completely seriously, Adam Sandler. The hump you'd have to get over is, do I believe this guy is one of the smartest people on the earth? We'd never seen it. Damon had this DNA from Goodwill Hunting. where I'm like, oh, I mean, he crushed it at MIT. I totally think he could figure out the botany thing.

Botany is a good, is a good, like, expertise for him because that's not over everybody's heads. Like, astrophysics, you know, any kind of like deep, deep math, your average moviegoer is going to be like, I stopped paying attention to this in eighth grade. Like, what are you guys talking about? But this is just farming and gardening. I mean, he's just like, I know how to make soil, you know,

and then making the water stuff, all the things that he does are pretty understandable. you kind of know, okay, like he's making water. Like, that does make sense to me. It's not like he's, like, sitting there with, like, a graph chart and, like, you know, an abacus or something the entire time. I don't know. If we're going to do Sandler, I would want to see him do the Uncut Gems character.

Just because I would want, I would want him to have, like, a crippling sports gambling addiction and have to wait, like, four months for the results of the Celtics game to get back to him. Like, he's just, like, he sends a message to his bookie and then he has to wait. four months to find out if they beat the jazz. I think 1994-5 range Lawrence Fishburn would have been really good too. Yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Because I think he would have done some stuff. Tarantino's in my head with Fishburn ever since we had that pod with him and he was talking about how he should have been one of the greatest actors. Because I do think ultimately this is a great actor part. Yeah, but remember, the actor needs to be able to float. Totally. You got to float in this one. And Lawrence Fishburn is very.

very, very strong on screen. Every time he's on screen. And with this one, you kind of got to be able to float, laugh back with the audience a little bit, tongue and cheek, wink, wink, disco music, I'm about to die, all of these things, you know what I mean? And Lawrence is, er.

You know what I mean? It's Ike Turner, dog. I don't know if Ike Turner survives in space. Daniel Day Lewis would have not worked. I don't know what his version of this would have been, but I don't know if I would have enjoyed hanging out with him by himself. as he looked into a camera and talked.

Who knows more about potatoes than an Irishman? I mean, Jesus. There you go. Fair. So Damon, this is an important movie for him for the whole kind of the piece, the three decades of Damon, because he makes departed in 2006 and Born Altamatim in 2007. And then from 08 to 14 really only makes one memorable moment. movie, Contagion, which he's in an ensemble cast for that, but had a lot of misses, you know,

and he was somebody that we all liked, but, you know, had a couple times there. Like, we bought a zoo and things like that, where you're like, oh, that one didn't work. And then you go the next one, oh, that one didn't really work either. And this comes at a really important time for him because, you know, other, if, if this doesn't happen, you're looking at like a 12-year run, this ends up being one of his defining performances. Van, who do you have Damon versus Leo? Leo in almost every category. What you mean?

Okay. Like, overall? Yeah. I think Leo's the best version of Damon. You know? I think, first of all, I have a lot of, I love Matt Damon. And by the way, I like Matt Damon. It's weird.

I like Matt Damon more than I like Leonardo DeCaprio. As a dude. Because as a dude, as a person, as a guy, you know what I mean? And by the way, I think you left out behind the candelabra in that, which I really enjoy. the HBO movie with him and Michael Douglas, the Liberace joint. I really enjoyed that movie.

I think that's in the early 2010s. Yeah, I think, but I really like that. He's real funny in that too. Yeah. Really great. I thought he was really good in that. But anyway, so no, I got Leo because, I mean, by every sort of substantial metric,

Leo kind of lapsed Matt Damon, man. Like, every metric, you know? I don't know. I disagree with that. Really? I think Damon's really good. I think Damon could do

the regular guy thing a lot better than Leo could. I think Leo could do the artsy-fartsy Oscar bait kind of part. The fundamental difference

between them, I mean, there are many, but the fundamental one is I think that Matt Damon is pretty indifferent about being

the lead actor. I think he's happy to be a movie star. But Matt Damon probably wouldn't make the revenant. Like, I don't think Matt Damon

wants to be alone in a movie. I think he likes acting with people. people. I don't think Leo would have done Ocean's 11. Yeah, exactly. Matt Damon would be happy to be in Contagintagint. He's happy to be in Candelabra. He's happy to be, he obviously doesn't get a chance to act with a lot of the people in the Martian that lot much, but he's in a movie with a dozen deep bench. Leo is down to do like, I got to wear this makeup, the entire movie, and I'm doing an accent and there's

like a whole bit or I'm going to fight a bear. Like he's fine being alone in the wilderness and making it kind of like, I'm in every frame and I'm carrying this movie. Sean, if you switch, if you switch Leo and Damon with the Revenant and the Martian, what happens? The Martian still works and the Revenant still doesn't work. I mean, that's just generally how I feel about both those movies. Either way, it doesn't even matter who's in those parts. I don't know.

I mean, this is like, it feels like a slightly false equivalency. Like, they're around the same age and they're both white guys and they're both handsome and they're both movie stars, but they've both been after completely different things. Like, Leo has never participated in a franchise. Matt Damon has been in the Ocean's 11 trilogy, and he's made four born movies. Yeah. You know, Damon has made more of an effort to be an action star. But Damon, to Chris's point, has also been willing to just show up in the final third of Interstellar being unbilled.

He's willing to do a cameo in Thor Ragnarok. Like, he has a different relationship to start him. He's like inside effects, you know, just like for a minute, you know? Takes himself a little bit less seriously than Leonardo. DiCaprio does. Yes. But I think Leo, to his credit, taking himself so seriously, consequently, has meant he basically only makes great movies. You know, he's had some Jay Edgar misses here and there, but for the most part, if there's a Leo movie, it's probably going to be damn good. And Damon is more experimental. And I love that about him, and I get a kick out of seeing

him in anything. And this is one of his few movies where he owns it. Like, he is the movie. And the movie without him, it cannot go. It needs somebody with his powers. but I don't even see them as the same. They're like comparing like Paul Newman and Clint Eastwood to me. Like they were after different pursuits as movie stars. Well, he didn't win the Oscar because Leo won for Revenant. I actually think this might have been Damon's best chance to win the Oscar. Because the other time when he got nominated for Goodwill Hunting and he was great

in Goodwill Hunting, like really great. But that's Nicholson as good as it gets. Nobody's beating Nicholson that year. That was like the LeBron 2020 NBA. finals where it's just like, this is happening. We'll make this happen. And if it's not totally happening, the refs are going to help make it happen. It's fucking happening.

LeBron's winning this title. That was Nicholson that year. Nobody was beating him. And now Damon's, you know, he's I think he's 50 plus now. So now he's dancing into that. If it happens, he needs like his version of the verdict, basically.

Which is what ended up happening for Newman. But he's going to need that older guy. He's going to have to age into the Red Oscar part. So we learned that Van Vance is, van likes more serious actors. That's what I learned from this so far.

You're a serious guy. No, I mean, I like it. Not even to that degree. I think that like, to Sean's point, Leo makes such destination appointment movies, right? Yeah.

Have you seen Wolf of Wall Street? Have you seen Inception? Inception. Like, have you seen these movies? Oh, you got to go see this. Have you seen once upon a time in Hollywood? Have you seen these movies?

Something that if you don't, you can't be in the nerd circle, film guy circle, if you haven't seen these pictures. And Damon just doesn't make those types of movies. He makes a lot of different, great kind of movies, but he doesn't kind of, the stakes aren't as high, like high leverage films. He doesn't really make those.

But it's always fun whenever you see him. Chris, do you consider Sean the president of the nerd circle or is he like Secretary of State? Sean, what was the role that Damon was going to do in Manchester by the sea? Was he supposed to be the lead? Yeah. So that would have been his Oscar shot. That would have been his Oscar shot.

But I bet that would have been a different movie. I bet that would have felt different. But that was a case where... He would have a crush that. He could potentially win an Oscar for producing before acting. Like, that was his choice as a producer to say, I shouldn't be the lead. Casey should be the lead in this movie. He's better suited to it.

I'm too old for it. And the movie will be better if it's not me. And, like, credit to him for knowing that specifically. And, you know, he already has an Oscar. He has a screenplay Oscar. It won it very early on. If you could, if you're in a desert island or if you're on Mars and you could only have the DVDs of Damon or Leo,

who would you rather have? Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. To me, Matt Damon. Because, dude, I made more fun movies. I could get through my time just watching the talented Mr. Ripley. I love that fucking man.

Yeah. There you go. Over and over and over. I still ride for Matt Damon. I'm going, Leo. I just want to watch Body of Lies and Blood Diamond while I'm on Mars. Blood Diamond. Wow.

Let's talk about Ridley Scott quickly. Let's. This is the, if Tom Brady won a Super Bowl at age 50 on like the L.A. Chargers, we'd be like, wow, how'd that happen? Ridley Scott. I don't know how, what was he like, 73, 74 when he made this, but I was looking at his IMDB. He has an iconic movie in five decades. And I was trying to think, Sean, the five decade club cannot have more than five directors in it, right?

Here, he's got Alien in 79. He's got Blade Runner in 82, Thelman Louise in 91, Gladiator in 2000, and The Martian in 2015. Five decades of movies that will last. in all kinds of different ways. Scorsese is obviously in there. Other than that, Spielberg. Spielberg. Spielberg. Yeah. Hitchcock.

What Spielberg's iconic movie for this decade? I mean, Lincoln? The Post? Fuck that. No. No. That's wrong. That's not true. How many Lincoln conversations have you had? Lincoln was a big fucking deal. What are you doing?

Like Lincoln, like Lincoln was, like Lincoln was, I don't know what you're saying, dog. Lincoln was a big deal. Like, what are you doing? Fuck that who talks about Lincoln? Wait, what was the last Lincoln conversation you had? I don't know what to say, but Lincoln was a big deal. That's a kind of guy won the Oscar for portraying it. Like, it's a big deal.

That was like a million-dollar baby to me. I saw it once. All right. All right, fine. I'll give him Lincoln. So Spielberg. Sorry. I mean, we just did a big Hitchcock podcast on the big picture.

And like he literally in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s had major movies. But you're right. And we talked about that exact idea, how there's almost nobody through five decades had. Did Kubrick start in late 50s or early 60s? 50s, 70s, 80s, 70s, 80s, no 90. I mean, it gets, yeah, 90s with eyes by shut. Yeah. So Kubrick.

Doesn't get any more iconic than that. Yeah. If I's wide shut makes it fucking Lincoln definitely makes it So if Ozwise shut is Yeah for sure All right

So we'll do a Lincoln rewatchables I'll watch it again Chris do your Lincoln You do a tremendous No no no Anyway Ridley Scott Holy shit

You just look at those five And there's some other great ones in there that I really like But um Black Rain Someone to watch over me? You went on that one, man? Yeah, of course.

Mimi Rogers thrown 99 with like change up and sliders. He wasn't supposed to direct this movie. It was supposed to be Drew Goddard. He produced it. He was going to do it. And then he ended up getting something else. It was adapted from a 2011 novel by Andy Weir. And we should just mention the cast.

It's hard to remember a movie that crushed this many parts. and it's a really diverse cast too, which I think in 2020 probably would have made more sense than 2015. It was a little ahead of its time in that respect. Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wigg, Jeff Daniels, Michael Pena,

Sean Bean, surviving a movie, not dying in the movie, I think for the first thing he's ever made. Kate Mare, Donald Glover, Mackenzie Davis, Benedict Wong. Just a really great cast. Dion Waiters is going to be a...

Deon Waiters is going to be a lively category for this. But, Chris, you love movies when there's famous people... Doing bit parts. Yeah, in four scenes. Just kind of chewing it up. Yeah, there's an absurd amount of talent very far down the bench in this movie.

I mean, there's people... And also, Ridley Scott has traditionally been... I mean, you go back to Black Hawk Down, very good at... catching people a year before they blow up. So if you look at the cast of Black Hawk Down is essentially every big actor that would be in movies for the next 10 years after Black Hawk Down, with the exception almost of its star Josh Hartnett, but like Eric Banda is in there. Tom Hardy's in it, Orlando Bloom is in it. It's like all these people who would wind up blowing up right after that. In this movie,

he catches McKenzie Davis, who I don't know if she's like a movie star, but has definitely become kind of like a huge actress. And Donald Glover, like pre-Atlanta, just getting like three or four scenes all to himself. When you talk about getting somebody earlier, people mistakenly say he did that with Joaquin Phoenix and Gladiator. But we all knew he blew up in a millimeter two years before. Yeah, that was when.

Eight millimeter was his finishing school. Eight millimeter was his breakthrough, his magic, his leap. Yeah, Finn, are you in on the eight millimeter podcast? Love it. Oh. Now streaming on Amazon Prime. Now let's do it. Oh, my God.

Eight millimeter. Love. Oh, my God. This is fantasy's worst nightmare. I try to make Kalika watch it. She walked out. She walked out of the living room. You hear people walk out of the theater.

She walked out of the living room. I love that movie. I don't understand. Mrs. Davis. The film is real. It's real. All right. We're doing it.

I'm locking it down for the 2021 schedule. 2016 Oscars really quickly. Spotlight wins. Spotlight will be coming up out of rewatchables later this year. They knew, Chris. They knew! And they let it happen!

Bill, we should do 8mm the day after the vaccine drops. That should be like, welcome to 2021, baby. All right. Pump yourself full of regeneron and let's listen to 8 millimeter. Best actor, Oscars. Leo wins.

Eddie Redmayne for the Danish girl. Fast Bender as Steve Jobs. I still don't know how that one happened. Matt Damon for the Martian. Can you name the fifth person in this category? 2016. Yeah. Sean knows.

Who is it, Sean? Brian Cranston. Brian Cranston in Trumbo. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brian Cranston. Not a strong category that year. Best Picture. Spotlight wins.

We also had the Big Short, Bridges Spies, Brooklyn, Mad Max Fury Road, The Martian, the Revenant, and Room. In retrospect, not a bad... This is a really good movie year. Not a bad class. Really good. Yeah. Really good. We were out of Grantland, but we hadn't started Ringer yet, and we kind of missed out on some really good movie fodder this year, Sean. Yeah. If we revoted on this one, I think Fury.

Road would have won. Like if there was a revote, because that movie's reputation has grown so much over time. But this is like a pretty stacked list. I mean, the Revenant might be the worst movie that was nominated that year. Yeah, never watch it again in life. Vow out to myself.

I'll put myself through it once in the theaters. I'll never do it again. I might as well just stand up in the wall and let people kick me in with nuts for two hours. I'd never do it. You would rather, you would rather watch Room again before Revenant? Oof. Well, room I only the room, I don't fuck with movies like that. and kids and being all exploited and shit like that.

Like I can watch that on the news. But Room I only halfway saw just to say, oh, she's a great actress. Okay, cool, moving on. So I didn't really even see that one. But yeah, the Revenant was like, it's crazy, man. The bare scene alone is like, why am I looking at this? I think...

I agree. Well, we all saw The Revenant together. We did. I think the thing that's gotten lost with the Revenant, it was a cool movie theater movie. That colors and the light and all that stuff. I think on TV, it just loses some of it. The Martian, a really cool movie theater movie, that's also a really cool watching at home.

I told you guys, I watched this with my daughter last night who had never seen it. And she was like freaking out. And I think what's interesting about the movie I noticed last night that not one person dies. And she was just convinced this person was going to die or that. And when Sebastian Stan goes out to fix the thing, it just seems like he's going to die, but he doesn't. Matt Damon doesn't. Nobody dies. Not one death, which has to be a record for a size.

movie. Sci-fi movie, I mean, it's kind of hard to believe they didn't like just kill off one astronaut, but they're, it's, it's this weirdly feel-good movie. Even when he's swearing on text, we don't see like the F-bombs and all that stuff, you know? Like it's, it's very PG-13. It's not our, which I, I respect. It's a good choice. I mean, this is like a big time mainstream old-school movie. It's like a crowd-pleasing family movie that, celebrates something that I don't know it just feels like a different wholesome time you know like to the point

I was making at the top like it's just there are not a lot of movies like this now it's very aspirational like as a movie like it's kind of how you will want things to go you know what I mean like even there's little things about the movie like what time period are we in we're obviously in the near future it's like 2035 I think is when the book is set

at least right so it's like but they never give you a direct it's like a lot of just things for you to kind of wrap your arm around like you When I was in the theater, I sank into the movie. I was like, yo, man, about 20, 25 minutes in, I'm like, this is fucking great. This is good. I thought this was going to be some nerd shit.

But this has heart, charm, all of that. It's almost Disney type shit. Seven Oscar nominations. Sean, 91% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Means nothing. 108 million dollar budget. It made $630 million. That's another case for a Damon.

over Leo, his movies have printed money. If you just added up movie grosses, he destroys Leo. He does. He makes more movies, though, right? Yeah, he makes, look. Yet, his shooters have to shoot. Right. He's like the Tyler Harrow.

He also shares, you know, some of those movies are Clooney movies. Some of those movies are Brad Pitt movies. You know, when when Leo's doing this thing, Leo is the man. He's by himself, you know. He's nobody's Anthony Davis. He's the dude. Yeah, that's the thing.

Leo does not have a downsizing or a suburbiccon on his CV. You know, Damon's got some L's too. Well, Jay Edgar was one of the worst movies I've seen in the last seven years. So he's got that. Coming up, we're going to do the categories taking a break. Let's take a break to talk about Fanduel. Got to tell you about same game parlay. on Fandil sports books.

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out of just about everything, it fucking gets right into it. There's no 15 minute set up. There's no people playing backgammon in the spaceship and backstories and spending time on Kate Mara. Oh, does she kind of like this astronaut? It's like, no, we're in for a minute,

and then they're doing their mission, and there's a storm, and Matt Damon gets taken out, and we're off. And that's it. I don't think movies do that enough. If this was a Netflix series, they would have spent three episodes before the storm. it just would have kept going and going and like, oh, and then heading into episode four, he would have gotten hit.

But the storm scene, Van, your worst nightmare being on a storm in Mars, or is there, are you scared of, is there anything else that frightens you more than that? As rocks and satellites are flying at you and you're in a fucking suit? Well, here's the thing, I don't like to fly, right? We have a couple phobias before we get there. Before we get to Mars, let's get to Tulum or Cabo, which is, you know what I mean? So I don't really like to fly. So, yeah, and that's, like, when I watch the movie, I'm like, yo, these guys not scared. He wakes up with the suit blinking impaled by some piece of shrapnel.

And he's just like, okay, let's take it out and get to work. And that's kind of the thing. And even, like, when Sebastian Stan says, and they do little things to set up these characters, when, like, they're getting ready to decide we're not they're going to leave or not. Sebastian Stan goes, hey, Mark's dead, let's go. Yeah. You think that that makes him a crass in any regular movie. He's like the callous type of dude right there.

But no, he's just a fucking astronaut who realizes that we'll going to lose somebody else. And like, we got to get out of here. So they didn't pigeonhole any characters until these like stereotypical depictions of people that they normally do. They do have that one brief moment of banter when they're kind of doing whatever experiment they're doing before. hits where you get, it is established that Mark doesn't shut up. That Mark likes to talk shit, that Mark likes to joke around. And that makes it so that

when he becomes the first space vlogger, it completely works. And he's just like, I guess I'll just chat. Let's just do it. Well, I was going to say this for later, but let's do it now. Jessica Chastain, she leaves him behind.

And the lesson, as always, don't fucking trust Redheads. I don't know how to, I don't know how much more clear we need to make it with this movie. But it's just true. Yet again, another redhead letting sit. No, I'm just, Sean's going to go redhead. I'm just, I'm fucking with Sean.

My wife is a beautiful redhead. She's the most trustworthy person I know. How dare you? I dated a redhead for three years. They're fantastic. With that said, she does kind of ditch him. Oh, yeah. Like, it's kind of hard to recover from.

And I always forget when I rewatch this movie, I'm like, I kind of don't like you. I feel like you could have done more. You're just like, you just, you just were like, fuck this. You can kind of see him stumbling. And she's like, ah, fuck it, we're out. I think she made the right call. I think that the chances of survival when you get hit by a piece of machinery on Mars are low.

And it is like a blinding storm. They have to abort. The thing is going to tip over. She's just, everything in this movie is just doing the math. Look, in Rocky 4, Apollo dies. at Dragos' hands. Not Stallone's fault at all, not Rocky's fault. But he should have thrown the towel like three seconds sooner.

And he's fucking tormented. He's driving around in his Lamborghini, takes a fight in Russia for no money. Chastain just kills Matt Damon. She's good. It's like, hey, are we heading back to Earth now? What do you mean? You're acting as in? I didn't even see any tears.

It was 74 and clear. It was a rock storm on Mars, Doc. They had to smash. They had to get out. I mean, you're acting as if there wasn't a lot of choice in the matter. How about one tear drop? Anything? Moist eyes?

There's a super funny moment in the movie when later on when they learn that Mark is still alive. And they're on the ship and she's like, oh, I left him behind. And then all the other crew members are like, no, no, you know, it was all of us. We all did it. And then she was like, I'm the commanding officer. I left him behind. And then no one says anything. They're just like, yeah, that's kind of true.

You bailed on him. Bailed on him and unapologetically, too. They get back in the ship. She's like, hey, where'd you guys put the chips? I'm a little hungry after the store. Is this in the director's cut? I did not see the chips. I don't like that she did that.

Next rewatchable scene when he blows himself up. And it has the quote. So yeah, I blew myself up. So, yeah, I blew myself up. Best guess. I forgot to account for the excess oxygen that I've been exhaling when I did my calculations. Because I'm stupid. He has some good deadpan stuff there.

But the blowing himself up thing is funny. Next one, when he starts texting with NASA, he figures out some sort of fucking number thing. There's like five moments of this movie where I'm just like, I'm not smart enough to know what's going on here. I'm just going to trust the movie. I like the texting. His potato farm exploding is an awesome scene. And heart-breaking. So gut-wrenching, too.

Yeah. Gut-wrenching. He's been through all of this. And do they ever explain exactly why it all went to hell? But, like, that's his entire. He's rebuilt humanity on Mars. And in the blink of an eye, it's gone. He did.

Didn't he, like, he stopped checking the calibration? of whatever the oxygen with the other stuff was in there. And it was kind of like his fuckup, I think, right? I know that I don't know anything. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think that's. Next rewatchable scene. A near and dear to my heart.

The montage. You know I love montages. It's a couple in this. This one, the David Bowie Starman montage, is fucking awesome. What a great song choice. A song that, especially when you use a 70s song, it's usually been in like five other movies.

And, you know, Scorsese is always guilty of this, right? It's like, really, Layla, you're doing that one again. Bill,

no one has ever said that. No one's ever criticized Martin Scorsese for using a Layla. He knows like 11 songs. They're all good. 10 Rolling Stone songs at Layla. That's a sound check about a stones. Yeah.

Guys, just, let's move on. That's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, you're,

your two takes, have been Lincoln sucks and Martin Scorsese music is mad. I didn't say Lincoln sucks. Do not put that on me. We got to keep, like the good, just listen to the Goodfell's soundtrack. It's not just Rolling Stone songs, I promise you. He's got a command of American popular music from the 50s through the late 70s.

Trust me. So should I listen to the Goodfellas soundtrack when I watch Goodfellas or when I watch the Irishman when he uses all the songs like that? You tell me. I really like the Starman montage. Kudos to David Bowie. It's an example of this movie being very on the nose and it working. There are very few movies.

To your point, every movie that ever shows the Vietnam War has given me shelter. And you're just like, please give me a break here. But to put Starman in a movie about an astronaut stranded in space is like really difficult to pull off unless you have everything going for you. and they have it. Van, you're a montage guy. Love montages. It's crazy that you say this. When I think montages, I think, you know, Goodfellas, I think movies like that.

I love montages. Montages, to get you to the point, let's speed it up. We got to go. You know what I mean? Like, give me a couple of scenes. Give me a song. We're out. You know, on to the next thing.

Love montages. My single favorite montage ever is Boogie Nights, right? As Dirk Digger's career is starting to take off when he filmed. Spanish panellonis. Just the whole, the music, everything. It ends up in a disco. They're all doing this like, this coordinated disco song.

It's just like everything you want at that point of the movie. You mean when Paul Thomas Anderson directly lifted all of the film techniques he took from Martin Scorsese to make Boogie Nights Bill? Why didn't you say this to him when we did our podcast with it? I would be bringing that up. Well, to his credit, he literally says it on the commentary for Boogie Nights. He's like, here's me stealing from Martin Scorsese again.

Listen, he used Rolling Stones at Leila too much. It's irrefutable. Nobody could argue this. Scorsese leaned on, though. He could have picked other songs. Two more rewatchable scenes, the rescue. Way to go, Iron Man. Back, plus it.

Got to say, could he use like 40 seconds more of the reunion? When he finally gets into shit. It's a very abrupt ending. It's, I would, the only Martian two, I would have been interested. interested up into that point was the trip home. And just Mark coming up to those guys and be like, hey, remember when you fucking left me up on Mars? I think I'm going to take your dessert then.

Thanks. It's like they told, yeah, they told Richard Scott, hey man, could you shave five minutes? It's like, ah, fuck that. I'll just cut the reunion scene. And then it just got cut. But I wanted the scene where his mask off, he's eating his first cheeseburger.

And then he has the moment with Chastain where she kind of looks at him. and she's like, I'm sorry. They just kind of needed to have a moment that they never had. And he just goes classic redhead shit. Right, right. Right. No, but they needed that 30 seconds. I don't know why they didn't have it.

It seemed like such an easy scene to put in there, especially since he was all emaciated by that point. And at the end of the movie, Damon does a good job of at least intimating it. there are some psychological things that are starting to happen with him. Yeah. He's getting a little bit loopier.

He's been by himself for a long time. He pets a machine before he leaves. You know, all of those things. And I would have seen a little bit of that workout between those. His calorie intake is so low. Like, you just start losing it. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Your vitamins, like not getting any vitamins at all. Your body just probably starts breaking down. So that the last thing is the ending. I like what they did with this hair. Like, even though he's, quote unquote back, he definitely doesn't look the same. He looks kind of

slightly damaged but not totally damaged. He's pretty slow when they start it. He's pretty diesel. And then by the end of it, he's kind of got like Brad Pitt, Benjamin Button body. So this is at the end, he says, the other question I get most frequently is when I was up there stranded by myself,

did I think I was going to die? Yes, absolutely. And that's one you need to know going in because it's going to happen to you. This is space. It does not cooperate. At some point, everything's going to go south on you. Everything's going to go south. And you're going to say, this is it.

This is how I end. Now, you can either accept that or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem. And you solve the next one. and then the next.

And if you solve enough problems, you get to come home. All right. Questions? Dan, good life advice there. Absolutely. The character had to have supreme confidence. He had to, like, rely on himself and still be willing to work together with everyone else.

Think about how much it took for him to reach out and reach across the aisle and get all everybody together to help him. But the main thing about Mark Watten, Mark Watney is one of the biggest G's in movie history. One of the biggest gangsters, he does not panic. He never panicked. Every time I watch this movie, I think, yo, at this particular moment is when I go, fuck it. I'm going to spend one day eating all the potatoes and I'm going to die full.

You know what I mean? But he never, ever panicked. He knew that every problem has an answer and that's what saved his life. Well, the lesson of this movie is that last. monologue. Get to work. Do the math. Solve a problem.

Solve the next problem. And just keep going. Castaway has that kind of lesson at the end of it's just like live it day by day and wait. And one day that sale is going to come in and your life might change. But you got to keep going. It's weirdly kind of the same lesson. Damon's saying solve the problem, get to the next one. Hank's is saying Castaway

kind of keep the faith you never know what what the next day the sale might bring in you disagree that's not the message of Castaway at all what's your message

from Castaway the message of castaway is these holes ain't loyal you mean I'm on I'm stranded ain't nobody found the body you know what I mean

I'm stranded I'm looking people I'm spearing I've turned into goddamn Swiss family Robertson I'm I'm spearing fish I've turned it to savage man to get back to you.

And when I get back to you, you wouldn't miss the big. Like, on some real shit, I do all of this just to get back to you. And you're doing all of this crying. Yo, either we're going to drive away in the rain or you're going to stay with Law Unorder SVU. Make a decision.

But she, she, and she wasn't loyal. Shout out of her telling me about the... Van missed the movie. Because they set up in the beginning, he's supposed to be with the redhead at the end. The whole point of the movie is the red. head at the end. Now, there's a case where the redhead's actually a nice and supportive character, unlike Jessica Chastain, in The Martian, just leaving Matt Damon for dead. Oh, you're back. Cool.

Sorry, left you for dead. What do you have for most rewatchable scene? I got the rescue. Can I just throw in a nod for Donald Glover explaining? Oh, that's mine. Absolutely. You know, him like being like, here's how we're going to save him. The Pernell method. Okay, let's pretend that this stapler is the Hermes, and you are... I'm sorry, what's your name again? Teddy. I'm the director of NASA. Cool, Teddy, your Earth.

Right now, the Hermes is headed towards you starting its month-long deceleration to intercept. But instead, what I'm proposing is we start accelerating immediately. To preserve velocity and gain even more, we don't intercept with Earth at all, but we come close enough to get a gravity assistant and adjust course. I love that scene. It's super funny. It's obviously a great showcase for Glover, but it's also a perfect example

of what makes the movie good, which is like, for the most part, it makes science super legible. It's like, this is what they're going to do. We're going to make Jeff Daniels stand over here. We're going to make Kristen Week stand over here.

And then Glover is going to cook in between. And him being like, what's your name again? And he's like, Teddy, I'm the director of NASA. I'm the director of NASA. Yeah, he's like, great. Here Earth.

Yeah. Right. I was going to hit that in the, on waiters, but we covered it. Chris, what do you have for most watchable? I really like the making water and like the early stages of the farming and the rations

and stuff like that. So like that sequence in the beginning where he really gets to work, I think, is sort of the soul of the movie. I like rescue scenes in general, and I think that rescue scene is incredibly well done because you know Matt Damon's not going to die because he's Matt Damon. He's the star of the movie. He has to come home. But I always feel like he's going to die when I'm

watching. The difference is that all the stuff that they're doing, the spaceship is like, beyond my comprehension. They're like, let's just blow the airlocks and use that atmosphere as thrust and all that stuff. I'm like, sure, that sounds right. The farming is actually makes sense. He's just like, I need fertilizer.

I need water. I need this. Like you, it actually is pretty legible to see like what he's doing back then. See, I disagree because when I saw the movie the first time, I was saying to my wife, like, they got to blow the airlocks.

It'll propel the shit. No, I didn't say that. Sorry, no, I'm saying. There's a certain point in this movie where to me, speaking to the rich per nail scene where the drama on earth supplants what's going on. Oh, for sure. For sure. He's waiting. All he can do is wait.

Right. And what's happening with all of them and what they're doing, that becomes the movie after a while. And that's why Donald Glover is so integral to it to me. This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list. Not

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What's age the best? The title. Good title. Good title. The Martian. I remember even seeing it before

the movie came out was like Matt Damon, the Martian. I'm like, I don't know what this is about but this sounds

great. Growing the potatoes we mentioned for what's age the best. So this is from Wikipedia. Being the mission's

botanist, he improvises a garden inside the hab, using Martian soil fertilized with the cruise bio-waste and manufactures water from leftover rocket fuel. He then plants the crew's unused potatoes. That's what happened. I had no idea of watching it. It made no sense. Like, what he's using their shit? What's going on? But, you know, that's why he was a great botanist. Another one's age the best, Chastain's love for 70s disco music. It's just like a funny wrinkle that probably could have gone wrong in the wrong hands, but it didn't. Another one's age the best. This is the movie, I think, if you wanted to isolate one movie, that officially made Hollywood realize they should stop doing the 3D thing.

That people didn't like it that much, that this wasn't the next big thing, that people actually were like, ah, this kind of sucks. Why? Because it was a 3D release and no one really liked it or because they saw it. No, they kind of pivoted more toward 2D with a couple three-D showings, but it was really the 2D that carried it. And if you had said five years before, would this have been an awesome 3D movie? We're like, oh, yeah. And what they realize is that people just didn't really want 3D movies that way and they just wanted normal movies. I mean, I hate 3D, so. Yeah, I think all of us did. But Hollywood thought for five years that we were going to eat it up. I have two more Wood's age the best. Two things that I love just in

movies in general. Van, I love when someone has to stitch themselves up. Oh, love it. Me too. It's never not worked in a movie. Every time it's like, oh, the shot of like the giant wound. And then it's like, oh, this is going to hurt. And it's always a great two minutes. Damon's done that a couple of times. I think he did it a couple of times in BORN movies. You know, he's got to get the bullet out.

I think it's either first blood or first blood part two. Yes, first blood, the first one. Yeah, when he does it the whole thing. Every time because it's like, hey, man. Because, you know, I'm going to be honest with you. If I get cut that deep and the urgent care is closed, I'm gonna cry myself to sleep. I can't see myself stitching myself up.

You're like, you stitch your own self. So every time I see it, it works. And in that scene, by the way, that scene where he's taking that thing out, we didn't talk about it, but whatever the shrapnel is, that to me was the most tense scene of the entire movie to me.

Yeah. Like he's there alone, performing a medical procedure, stapling himself doing the whole nine, nah, it was amazing. Well, you know, he puts the thing back together because he's trying to make sure none of it was still in his body.

Which I thought it was like, I noticed that like a fourth time I watch this movie. The other thing I love in movies and it's done perfectly in this movie, when there's the huge control room and something good happens and then it cuts to the control. The mission control celebration is the best.

It's the fucking best. Houston, this is Hermie's actual. We got him. Oh! What's better than mission control celebration? Oh, is a huge kid. I was trying to think what the first one was. Was it war games?

Oh, that was, yeah. It happened. Is right stuff have mission control? I think Wargames was before right stuff, though. But in general, if there's a big control room, I want everybody celebrating at some point. Even if it turns out they were wrong and the guy died, I still enjoy it.

But this one was a particularly good control room celebration. Anything else age the best for you guys? What do you got, Sean? Gosh, I mean, you guys hit so many of the things. Yeah. I would say Sean Bean. I mean, I think that there really is no other character in this movie who's like, this is fucked up. And he doesn't do it that much, but he is the only character who really expresses like, you know, anger about a situation in this movie where he's like, you guys should have told these people, you know, like, I'm in charge.

he has like a little bit of like an argument with Vincent about who gets to run the flight crew. And absent of him and absent of his performance, which is a little less like rah, ra, go get him, we can figure this out. I don't know if this movie is as good. Well, that would be another what's age the best. I like any time, like if I said to Van right now, hey, Van, I'll expect your resignation at the end of this podcast. Anytime it's the I'll expect your resignation at the end of the dot.

That, that. It's always good. It establishes like, all right, now this other guy, he doesn't fuck care. He's getting fired anyway. He's going to really go. It's like weirdly a bad tactical move by the boss. Because when the thing's not done yet. But I think it's like a show of strength.

I never understood that. Like that happens in a wire way down in the hole. Wire way down the hole, Van Lath and Jamil Hill here on the ringer. Where Karketi says to Burrell, he says, you know, I expect your regeneration. and Burrell goes, fuck you. Fire me. You know what I mean? Make the whole big deal about it.

And that's what, that's what if I was Sean Bean, I'd have been like, no. Like, fire me. And then I'm going to go public. I'm going to tell everybody, you ain't even want to go get them. You didn't want to do the Rich Pernel somersault. Like, you didn't, you know what I mean? So, nah, but I love it because it's always like a power play from the guy in charge. Like quit yourself, kill yourself.

You think the Texans did that with Bill O'Brien? He's like, I'll expect your resignation. at the end of the season. I know, motherfucker. Fire me right now. What's age the worst? Other than unloyal redheads. Jesus.

China helping the U.S. It's just really weird. Five years later, I got to be honest. Like, it's just, it jumped out. Am I wrong? No comment. All right. You want to talk about, like, the trade war?

Like, what kind of conversation do you want to have here? It jumped out, is all I'll say. this movie won the Golden Globe for Best Musical or Comedy. And people were so dumbfounded and outraged that they actually changed the rules after this happened because this had been this long thing of people submitting to the Golden Globes for Best Musical or Comedy when it was obviously a drama. And this was the one where everybody was like, what the fuck? The Martian's not a comedy. Once upon a time in Hollywood, just won Best Musical or Comedy. Is that really a comedy? There's category fraud in that bullshit award.

show every single year. That's a funnier movie than The Martian. It's definitely funnier, but is it like classically a comedy? No, I hate the Golden Globes are terrible. Sebastian Stan, I have this as what's age the worst. This is such an obvious Mark Ruffalo part,

and he was probably just like three years too old. But if this is like 2003, Mark Ruffalo, he's definitely in that part. Bill, this guy has the least to do in this movie. I know, I'm just saying. He shows up twice. Classic Mark Ruffalo part. I don't agree.

I don't think I do either. That's fine. He was busy doing spotlight. I can't change how I feel. You're really jousting on this one, Bill. You really came in hot. I'm coming in hotter right now. What stage is the worst?

Kristen Wigg, why is she in this movie? Yeah. This was on my list. You're right. This is like a tonal mistake, I think, her in this movie. She doesn't have the register to be in the room with, whereas Glover does. Like, Glover knows how to do comedy, but he can do it in a way that feels dramatic. I don't think Kristen Wigg has that in her toolkit.

And so she's in a scene with Sean Bean and Jeff Daniels. And it's like, why is this person from an S&L sketch here? Right. And it feels like she's going to start playing one of her S&L characters, like the crazy aunt that jumps through the window at the end of the sketch. You keep expecting here to become Kristen Wigg and she's just playing it straight. She just doesn't really weird.

I don't ever get the impression that she is like a public relations mastermind. So why is she in the room when like the most consequential decisions ever made in this history of humanity are happening? Like she doesn't even seem to have like a real like, she's not like adding two cents here. She's just like, you guys fucked up. But let me know everybody else is serious and has all this gravitas and brings all of this shit with them. And she's kind of like,

we lost the astronaut, our bad. That's like a terrible scene. You know, she just never kind of stuck around and made it believable. I was going to do this later, but for recasting couch.

Carrie Washington in the, you know, you guys know I love Carrie Washington, but Carrie Washington in this role, making a couple like kind of those disappointed Carrie Washington faces or confused, those couple faces that she has,

I just think would have really worked. Carrie Washington also would have been amazing in the war. rooms, the mission control celebration with the, like eyes welling up a little bit. Oh, she would have cried. She would have brought up some. Yeah. Right.

But I also think that character needs to kind of side-eyed Jeff Daniels a couple times, where you're at least like, all right, this person knows Jeff Daniels is a fucking scumbag. But I don't know what Kristen Wiggs doing in any of these scenes. I didn't really understand that. Any other what stage is the worst for you guys? Yeah. Well, I bet we all have this one, which is the.

the sense that a government agency would feel in any way compelled to level with the American public. It's like that moment where Kristen Wigg is like, we have 24 hours to like let people know about this and those guys are all like, okay, well we got to do it. Like let's put out a statement

along with it. Do you do you guys think that the American public would care this much about this story? No. I had that for nitpicks. I think they've invented a world where they do. Yeah, in 2035, and I think they're imagining like, you know, eight years of Hillary and just like eight years of whatever else comes after that.

And it's just like everything is coasting along. You know, and then like we have the time and brain space to just be like, gosh, I'm so excited about this guy on Mars. It's like balloon boy. You know? In a world in a world where we think about how much this mission must cost. You know what I mean? So in a world where the taxpayers would be like, yo, we're cool with spending. a trillion dollars, two trillion dollars

to send somebody to Mars and that, like, maybe. Maybe, so I think maybe they've invented a world where but today, no, you can never do that. Like, we're trying to put bombs on the moon right now, Space Force. So who, like, who, you know, it's not, it's completely different. Trump would have been like, let him die. I thought it was weird that, I thought it was weird that CNN was still exactly the same as it is in 2015.

It's just 20 years later, we still have cable TV watch the same way. Can I ask you guys something? What did you think of Teddy's press conferences? Oh, weird. Like, kind of like a weird vibe, right? Like, nope. Mark Watney is dead.

Just like, all right. Just like a little bit of bedside manner for the American public here. It comes in a very interesting Jeff Daniels moment where he's only playing direct assholes. You know, he's a direct asshole in the newsroom. He's a direct asshole in Steve Jobs. And he's a direct asshole in this movie. He's like, he's firmly in a lane at this point

where he can only play guys who shoots, and are rude. Best. Oh, casting what ifs. Kate Blanchette was the original choice for for Lewis. For Lewis. Jessica Chastain's role.

But she had a scheduling conflict. So Ridley Scott went through Plan B. Jessica Chastain. Cape Blanchett would have been interesting. I don't know. I actually like where they landed with Chastain. What you're really trying to do is figure out whether Cape Blanchette is a redhead or not.

Well, would she have had to dye her hair to try to carry the evil redhead thing? The other one was the Drew Goddard thing that we mentioned. Best that guy, aka the Joey Pants Award. I got to go with Benedict Wong because whenever I see him now in anything, I just, he's the guy from the Martian. Anybody else you would have? I know Van will rock with me on this, but he is definitely from the MCU. Like he is in the Doctor Strange universe. That's where we know him from.

Any other candidates for this? I think that's probably... I think that's it. Exema is unpredictable. But you can flare less with ebbglyse. A once-monthly treatment for moderate-tiss disappear eczema. After an initial four-month-month-longer dosing phase, about four-and-10 people taking ebb-glis,

achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing. Emblis, Lbcglycz. A 250 milligram per 2-millimeter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults in children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema. Also called atopic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical topical topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebbglis. Allergic reactions can

occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with ebbglis. Before starting ebbglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Ask your doctor about ebbglis and visit ebglis.com or call 1-800 LilyRX or 1-800 545-5979. Yeah, that's fun. Bits and Hannah, give me all you got a word for best overacting. God bless him, but it's Glover. It's Glover, it's not Glover, for sure.

It's not even close. I know we're coming at this backwards, but we can't come into a firm launch date with this many unknowns. It's all right. All 25 models for launch will take 414 days for each Mars. They vary slightly in restoration, and the fuel requirement is nearly identical. Not good time to launch, is it?

Yeah. Earth and Mars are really badly positioned. Heck, it almost be easier if you own. Almost easier to what? I need more coffee. Well, he's also the winner of our next category, probably the D.N. Waiters Award for Best He Check. Yeah, it's interesting. This has only happened a few times in the rewatchable is where someone wins both. Who won the Triple Crown? Didn't somebody win all three?

Best that guy, give me all you got. And Dan Waiters? I think Chong Lee. I think Chong Lee won all three. Glover Clearly got the script and he's like, I'm only in four scenes. I'm fucking going for it. They will remember me when they watch this movie.

And it's great. He's really good. And it's actually he's different than Earn. It's not, you know, he's an amplified version of a Donald Glover experience. But it's a good character. I love him spitting the liquid into the waste basket that has holes in it.

That's just like genius psych gag. Recasting couch. Who did you guys have for the Kristen Wig part? I have Carrie Washington. I always did that. Carrie Washington works. Maybe because it was the same year, but I keep seeing,

I just blamed on her name. I had it in my head from Steve Jobs. She played the role like the other lady should have. Did she wonder, Kate Winsley? Kate Winslet. Yeah. I keep seeing Kate Winslet from Steve Jobs. You know how she played that role?

She was on his ass and, you know, she was in charge of his public face. Like, I see how I keep seeing her right there. I think you could have made the case for Kate Winslet as Commander Lewis, too. Oh, yeah. It's not bad. It would have been fun. I say this with love and respect and acknowledgement that he was just on my podcast. This isn't my favorite Jeff Daniels' performance.

I wonder. if like we had I don't first of all it would have been an interesting Tom Hanks

performance passing the torch right I just kind of would have liked to have Tom Hanks in the movie but I don't

I don't know who would have been better as Jeff Daniels was he supposed to am I supposed to not like him yeah because I kind of like

I half not like him but I don't I'm not like fuck that guy that guy's a fucking asshole he never totally got there for me in this

I think he's supposed to be one of the villains of the movie, really. And it's because of the way that, like Chris was saying, he talks in those press conferences and the way that he makes the decision to not make an attempt to rescue him until Sean Bean's character. Like, he has to be a foil. You have to be like, I don't trust whatever this guy says, because he's only trying to protect the reputation of NASA and by proxy his own career. So who's the right actor for that? Because I don't feel like Daniels pulled it off all the way. What are you looking for? Are you looking for somebody who feels like a little bit more like a pilot?

Because like you could go with like Jeff Bridges, you know, like you could get somebody who's like got a little bit more cowboy to him or you could get somebody who's a little bit more of a bureaucrat like fucker, you know? It's to me it's like a Tommy Lee Jones part. But he probably would have been too old for this. But like also he's too surly. Yeah. Because that guy to become the director of NASA, he's not a bad dude.

He just cannot afford the whole movie is about us caring about one astronaut. That's the whole movie. If we don't care about one astronaut, the movie don't work, right? He is the one character that can't afford to care about one astronaut. Yeah. So it makes him kind of,

but he still has to have some sort of charisma to the point to where you understand why he's the top dog there. How about Pat Riley? I was just going to say, what about Ed Harris, who should play Pat Riley in a movie?

Ed Harris is good. Ed Harris works. Ed Harris works. I want this guy, Teddy needs to be Pat Riley, basically. Charismatic, handsome, and would absolutely cut somebody's throat. Throwing his rings on the table.

Yes. Half-ass internet research. We mentioned a lot of those stuff. It was filmed in Jordan and Hungary. Apparently there's a famous giant sound stage in Hungary that they film a lot of these movies in. So shout out to Hungary. NASA actually assisted the filmmakers.

They liked this movie. So they got a little involved with the science and technology. Matt Damon filmed his solo scenes for five straight weeks. A real potato film was installed on the studio lot with potatoes at all stages of growth to be used for filming. And then Chris, you mentioned earlier, Andy Weir said the story was set in 2035 when Tom Brady will be playing for the Jacksonville Jaguars. LeBron James will be back in Cleveland for the fourth time trying to win a title. So there you go. Apex Mountain.

Interesting Damon conversation here. I'm going to say no, but wanted to mention it. What is Matt Damon's apex mountain then, if not this? Is it good? Well, hunting, is it? It's later. It's got to be probably the firstborn movie that becomes a monster. Yeah, I still think it's born.

I mean, we've had five years since this movie, and I don't know that Matt Damon is necessarily, like, you know, made the most of whatever slingshot gravity momentum he got from Martian. We almost need a special category where it's like the post apex mountain apex, where it's like the I Still Got It Mountain, like the LeBron 2020. You thought I was done, but I'm really not. Watch this. Anything we can do to make anything we can do to make Apex Mountain more confusing. I think we got to do it.

I don't really have anybody else for any actors in the movie for Apex Mepx Mepard. I think everybody's either already at a good point in their career or headed for better things. I think it's Apex Mountain for potatoes. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, what about botany? Yes, definitely. Oh, certainly botany. Yeah.

Like, if you had a botanist in your life, like, let's say Van, one of his high school buddies became a botanist and this movie came out. You'd be like, yo! Yeah! It's your time! It's your time! My G is your time, bro. They finally respect.

I don't know a botanist. Mark Watney is the only botanist I know. Botanis everywhere. Their tinders are just like exploding because all of a sudden it's like a search term. It's like, oh, you're a botanist? I just saw the Martian. Mars, possibly. Apex Mountain for Mars?

Not been a lot of great moments in Mars history, you know? It's total recall. What are you guys talking about? It's total recall. Yeah, you're right. This is right. But is that Mars's Apex Mountain or is it just

the line, the famous line? Because what happens on Mars, you know, it's okay in the movie, but like the Martian is Mars. I think that the idea of Mars becoming like Amsterdam is pretty like Apex to me. That's much like the total recall

like represent like the execution of it Mars. I guess I can see what you're saying, but I think I'd go I'd say total recall is Mars is Apex Mountain. Picket's Nets. So apparently, marsh and soil has since been found to be toxic to both plant and animal life. I think there's a few picking nuts here. So that's kind of problematic.

They do feel like microbial organisms have the potential to live on Mars. So if you're scoring at home, if you're microbial organism, that could happen. So the big flaw in this movie is the storm in the beginning. because apparently the atmospheric pressure on the Martian surface is so low that it would be akin to a very late breeze. And the author of the book that this was turned into a movie, Andy Weir, he said this was the biggest inaccuracy of the story, that they would not have a storm like this on Mars. I had, wouldn't Damon have lost more weight, but they do sneak that little side shot of him. And I think that he's, it's a body double because Ridley Scott,

Damon's like, I'll lose the weight again. And Ridley Scott's like, no, no, no. Because he almost died to encourage under fire. But so he's the body double for that. It looks like the guy that they had in seven strapped to the bed. Oh, yeah. It's rough. Chris liked that one.

I got to say as a nitpick, I still don't totally understand Donald Glover's plan. And I feel like I'm a. relatively smart guy. There's a couple moments in this movie where I'm just like, I'm not smart enough to understand that. I still don't understand the plan. And I've seen this movie five times at this point. I still don't totally get it. Do you guys 100% understand what the plan was? Well, I think a lot of it is because of the first rocket blows up. Right? So like when the first one goes, the test rocket that they try blows up, they need to basically have an extreme plan, but they can only use the Chinese rocket once. But I mean, there's like a gravity pull and that

Yeah, there's like, it's basically like they're using the Earth's gravitational pull to slingshot the spaceship back faster. Because they don't have to wait the six months to mount the, like, the actual mission. It's already up there. My only knit to pick right there is why hadn't anyone ever thought about that before? That seems like a pretty awesome way to get around space. If you can just whip around stuff. That was actually, when I was watching the movie last night, I was thinking the same thing.

I was like, why did it take Rich Pernell to have to come up with this idea. Like, there's hundreds of people working on this right now, and it's been happening for weeks and months, and no one thought of this, but it doesn't make sense because of the way that he describes it, whether it is scientifically

valid, I have no fucking idea. One thing I didn't get, let me know if this jumped out to you guys. Does it seem like tarps become amazingly handy in this movie? Apex Mountain for tarps? Well, I was just like, I was under the impression.

that space was very hostile, you know, that it's hard to live up there. And apparently you just need a tent. Apparently you need duct tape and some plastic. And you can just like seal the wall and seal your helmet. I've been watching space movies for quite some time. Usually people just explode

when they come into contact with space. So I was just really surprised by the amount of fixer-upper stuff he was able to do with some tape and some tarp. Well, it's a classic movie where somebody says something, expositionally and you're like, I guess that's true. Like in that case, somebody says like,

well, the atmosphere in Mars's orbit is so thin that he only needs to put a tarp over the nose of his space module, and he'll be fine. And so once you hear someone say that, you're like, well, of course that's true. I have no idea if that's true, if you could survive that, but they just make you believe it. You know, back to Apex Mountain for duct tape.

Duck tape in movies is usually somebody's going to die or get kidnapped. There's never like benevolence duct tape moments. The duct tape is like heroic in this movie. It's huge. It's like the coconuts and castaway. Come back mountain for duct tape. Come back mount.

Best quote, I like when he does the whole monologue about that ends with Mark Watney, Space Pirate. I'm about to leave for the scaparrelly creator where I'm going to commandeer the Ares 4 lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this and they can't until I'm on board the Ares 4. So that means I'm going to be taking a craft over in international waters without permission, which by definition makes me a pirate. Mark Watney, space pirate. And I like what he brags about colonizing Mars.

It does the in your face, New Armstrong. There's a lot of funny quotes like that. Yeah, I love how often he says, here's the rub or, you know. Yeah, he's good. He's got good dialogue, good sarcasm. My favorite one is the Chihuah Tales, Are You Kidding Me? You think he means it like, are you kidding me? You know?

Or like, are you kidding me? I think it might be the second one. Really? Uh-huh. Could be the first way. Are you kidding me? Yeah, could be the first way. I love that.

How do you think he means it? Are you thinking he means it? Like, are you kidding? because he could mean it the other way. You know what I mean? I love that little scene. Yeah, I also love when Sean Bean and Benedict O'Brien explained at Chilatel about how they have to take the front of the spaceship off

to get him going fast enough. And he's freaking out. And then Sean Bean's like, he hasn't even told you the bad part yet. There's also the whole, the great like, Mission Elrond, Elron method thing with Sean Bean, who's in the Lord of the Rings movies, you know?

It's a great shout. I really like Chewy Tell. Are we sure he's having the career he should be having? Hmm. Has he got enough good parts? He's really good in this movie. And I actually think it's kind of a hard part. Because I have to like him.

I have to trust him. He has to be appropriately confused at the right time. He's going to be a little sarcastic. He's got to get mad a couple times. He's kind of like the Don Chieidel of Britain. You know what I mean? I like that. He's in a lot of big movies, gets all the things.

You know what I mean? He's like my man Don. You know, I like him. Could this be remade as a 10 episode Netflix show? Please know. Probably in answerable questions. Where was Mark Watney's family? What was going on with this?

This is the number one question. What the fuck? It's a combination of that and is Mark Watney like immediately hits the dating pool when he returns. Or does he need like five years to like get, used to being back on Earth. Van, this is, I feel like you have the answer on this. I mean, I got, first of all, here's the thing with Mara Watney.

When he comes back to Earth, he is the most famous man on the planet. Okay. So if this is the 60s, he's doing Tang commercials. You know what I mean? Is the whole nine, he's made astronauts cool again. Mark Watney is hanging out with Scarlett Johansson. Mark Watney is doing all of these things. What they don't tell you is that the scene with Mark Watteny and the

kids, you know, at the end of the movie, it actually happens about five years later after Mark Watney has spent four or five years hoeing all around. Oh, I like this. You know, from coast to coast. It's Mark Watney. Mark Watney is the biggest deal. All of his Mark Watney, he's had to do his thing. And so now he's like, you know what?

I'm done with that. Now I'm going to come back and I'm going to teach other kids what to happen if they're in a once in a gabillion situation. Well, there's two other possibilities here because it's established very early on the movie. He might be annoying. Yeah. Right?

Yes. Yes. He might be just one of those guys that you have fun hanging out with for two hours. But wouldn't mind leaving on another planet? Yeah. Push comes to shove. It's like, yeah, fuck it. Also, like, possibly could he have been gay.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. We'll never know. Ridley Scott just wouldn't tell us. There's no deleted scene. We know nothing about his background. We don't know if he, did he have a roommate?

Did he have a living girlfriend? He's into his parents. This was a big criticism of the movie for people who didn't like it was that there is essentially no character development really across the board. Like we just don't know very much about these people. But I would make the case that that's kind of what makes it good. You know, it just makes us like locked into the mission of the movie, which is this guy's got to find a way to survive and NASA's got to find a way to save him.

And that's really what the whole movie's about. And it's okay to not have to, like, I don't give a shit if he has a roommate or if he's gay or if he has a living girlfriend who he's afraid to commit to. Like, too often those details like bogged down a movie with like fake detail. It's like, oh, let's make sure the audience gets more invested in him. It's like, this guy might die on Mars. That's enough. We're good. Yeah.

They could have given him a Helen Hunt picture to stare at every once in a while just as an homage castaway. Next, unanswerable question. Is this the only sci-fi movie ever? where nobody dies. I actually think it probably is. I mean, we'd have to go. That's why it's unanswerable. We'd have to go through

hundreds of sci-fi movies. I think it's probably the only one of the only ones of consequence where nobody dies. Right. Next, unanswerable question. If there is CNN in 2035, are Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo

still on it? Don is. Don is, right? Chris Cuomo's probably gone at that point. Gone where? Is Aaron Burnett still on it? I don't know. Chris Cuomo might very likely be

the vice president of the United States or something like that. I don't know, man. Do we have a Wolf Blitzer hologram? Would it be good, bad, or super weird to be married to an astronaut? That's my next answer to a real question. Because they go on a three-year mission at one point. Like, I remember I went to the NBA finals for two weeks. weeks and my wife was pissed about it for like a month after because we had two small kids.

But I guess, all right, I'm going to go to Mars. I'll see you in three years. It's aggressive. I feel like you go to Mars, you're setting your family up for the rest of their lives, though. Because like fans say, you just get that Tang money coming in. You know, you just, those tang checks never stop once you get back from Mars. I'll tell you this. I guess it depends on who you are. because I think my father would have loved it if my mother had been an astronaut

going to Mars for three, five years at the time. I think he'd have been super down with that. So it depends. You know what I mean? A lot of people, I think I think Tristan Thompson would love that. If Chloe were an astronaut, I think he dig that. There's a lot of people out there who I think would be into that.

The question is, do the astronauts have IG? And they're like, hey, I saw you get tagged in this where I saw you like this photo. I'm kind of like a couple of light years away, so this is kind of awkward, but like you're making it a little hard for me to concentrate on my botany when I see you out every night, you know?

Right, yeah. We're getting somewhere because my dad, my dad married an OBGYN. Kind of like an astronaut, yeah. Well, it kind of is because there would be like every three weekends. She was just on call the whole weekend. Deep exploration.

And let's just say, Let's just say when she was on call all weekend. My dad wasn't exactly like, oh, God, what do I do? He's like, cool, I'm going to watch sports all weekend without being judged. And it was like watching and being, I'm like, man, that actually would be pretty good to marry, to be married to an OBG way in. You have the relationship, but then you also have these 48 hour windows to do whatever the fuck you want. Married to an astronaut. It was like, cool, I'll see you in three years.

Right. Yeah. I'll let you know. how it goes over here on Earth. How long was he on Mars? This is actually answerable. Isn't it 533 days? A soul is a day?

He has to be up there. Yeah, soul, is a sole day? Because he's supposed to be up there for four years, right? Well, that's why this is unanswerable, but it's actually answerable. Because they make it souls. He was there for 772 souls. I'm sorry, he was there for 568 souls

which equals 578 Earth Days. I don't know how they came up with that. Craig Horlebeck has helpfully shared a detail. A soul is slightly longer than an Earth Day. It is approximately 24 hours and 39 minutes. Right. So it's an extra 10 days, basically.

So there you go. Why did they call it, why didn't they just call it days? Or the mega days. maybe it takes long Mars days Who won the movie That one's pretty easy This is no-brainer

It's Sean Bean Would you If they had a deleted scene Where Sean Bean just gets beheaded At the end of this movie Would you go for or get sick? I actually The Martian sequel I want

Is Bean and Damon swap roles Beans just like Day 4 I'm fucking eating potatoes again. Fuck this. Fuck. So we all have Damon for who won the movie? Yeah.

Of course. All right. Any last words? No, Bill. Let's do Lincoln. Let's watch Lincoln together, man. Watch Lincoln right now. Do I need to watch Lincoln again?

I watched it once. Daniel DeLuis was great. It was appropriately weighty and it won some Oscars. But I don't... Have we talked about it really since? No, not. really, but I just don't think it's a movie to be completely fucked over, which is what you did.

So I don't, that's kind of the thing. But you go through the Spielberg by decade, it's like Jaws. E.T. What was that, what was him for, saving Private Orion for the 90s? Or would you go shin there? I guess you have to do both. Or Jurassic Park. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. I don't even know.

You have to pick one of those three. 2000s. What do you have? War to Worlds. Minority report. And is Monique in the first decade, right? Munich. Yeah, that's fair. All right. Fine. You guys are right. So nice to have Van here to also back up obvious movie opinions

in defiance of you, though. It's just fantastic. It's like I have ammunition in artillery. It's incredible. He called you the king of nerd. What'd you call him? Nerd movies? The Nerd Circle. The Nerd Circle. No, I didn't say, I said I am a part of Nerd Circles. Now, Sean would like to be a part

of my nerd circle. Bro, come be a part of the nerd circle. I'm most disappointed. Let's screen Lincoln in Nerd Circle. I'm going to watch Lincoln this weekend. I'm most disappointed. Chris didn't back me up on the Mark Ruffalo point. That's my favorite point I had for the whole podcast. I think that would have just been a complete waste of Mark Ruffalo's time, honestly.

2003, Mark Ruffalo? It's not like the dude was in 13 going on 30. This movie came out five years ago. That was my point. It was a 2003 Mark Ruffalo part. It was before he made it. Okay. What does that even mean?

That's like, why is it Roy Scheider in the Martian? I don't know. Why is it 2003 Mark Ruffalo in The Exorcist? It's like, I guess. He would have pretty good in the exit as a priest. Yeah, that's true. Can this be a special podcast where we just time machine Mark Ruffalo in a different movies?

Around the different eras. Mark Ruffalo just wanders across the Casablanca bar. All right, you can hear Van on the Wire. way down in the hole, which is currently going through the best TV season, in my opinion, in the history of television, The Wire Season 4. And you can hear them on higher learning. Yeah. He's got both of those. Chris Ryan, you're still cranking out the watch, right? Twice a week, man, just like donuts.

And you pop on the big picture with Sean every once in a while. I can listen to that one as well. And if you want to hear the old rewatchables, the entire archive is on Spotify, all 150 plus. Guys, a pleasure as I was.