The Rewatchables - ‘The Sandlot’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Mina Kimes

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin and ESPN’s Mina Kimes lose a baseball signed by some lady named Babe Ruth after rewatching the 1993 classic ‘The Sandlot’ starring Tom Guiry, Mike Vitar, and Patrick Renna. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer podcast network, where you can find a new podcast called R2C2 with C-Sabathia and Ryan Rucco. You can also find a new Ringer NBA show on Mondays with Logan Murdoch, Raja Bell. Coming up, heroes get remembered, but legends never die. The Sandlot next. All right, it is Ben Simmons week here on the rewatchables. We're doing the Sandlot today, and we're doing Teen Wolf on Wednesday. My kid's foot is in a cast.

He's just playing video games all day, losing his mind. I'm like, can I do some rewatchables you might like? And he requested the Sandlot, his favorite movie of all time. I think, is it, where is it for you guys? Is it in the top five? I'm with Mina Kines of Mallory Rubin here. Top five for you? Of movies, of movies, period?

Yeah. Or like from our childhood. It is in the top four childhood baseball movies, meaning movies that are about children playing baseball and that came out during my childhood. But that's a very specific genre. I would say that I have my overall Mount Rushmore of baseball films, which we've talked about before, you know, Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, the Natural League of Their Own, you know, Moneyball, a couple others just missing the cut.

My kids' baseball movie Mount Rushmore, all from the 93-94 era. Rookie of the year, obviously. Little Big League, a classic. Angels in the outfield and then the sandlot. That's my kid's baseball movie, Mal Rushmore. Mina. It's definitely on my kid movie. I'll widen my scope a little bit.

Kid movie Mount Rushmore. And it's interesting to hear Mallory like lay out what was a golden age of sports children's cinema. Yeah, an important time. Not just baseball movies, right? Mighty Ducks, little giants, big green, ladybugs. I mean, just in a four to five year period, all of those. movies came out. I think Little Big League is the one where Ken Griffey Jr. is a villain, though, right? I remember being upset about that. Which one was the one where he broke his arm? That's

rookie of the year. That's rookie of the year. That one's good. That's a special movie. My theory on what happened was they ran out of ideas for sports movies somewhere around like 1989, 1990. They did every version of the Rocky movie. They did every sport. They just did every, they took it as far as you can go. And then they kind of looked around and said, hey, what about little kids. Bad News Bears did really well in 1976. The sequel did well too. What if we just start making little kids movies? And

a lot of them are pretty good. And I don't know, Mighty Ducks versus Mighty Ducks too. There's been arguments about that, which is superior, but I think both they're good. We have, in this movie, Benny the Jet also ends up in Mighty Ducks too, the rare hockey baseball. It's kind of the Omar Epps of

child sports movies. But I didn't really realize the power of this one until my son started getting into it when he was like six or seven. And he knows every line. It just hits all the notes. It's innocent. It's flawed.

I think it's probably the best one. I got to say, I would put it first out of all the kids' sports movies. The only other one I would put near it is bad news bears of breaking training, which I think has held up just wonderfully and centers around an entire team driving in a van from California being driven by a 13-year-old. Right. And just finding his estranged father.

They play in the Astrodome, and it's just gone, it's gone great. Mallory, does this movie make you cry? Only, yeah, a couple. Well, not in the way that I typically do during movies, but I do get emotional a couple, a couple times. It just kills me when the fence falls on Hercules. I can't stand it. I can't handle it. I wish it didn't happen.

I actually think that it'd been a long time since I'd seen the Sandlot. And I'm not sure if it's just the product of my generally failing memory as I age or if this was the product of me repressing something bad happening to an animal in a film. But I had kind of forgotten about that part of it, how the pickling sequence ends there, at least temporarily. And it was very painful to watch that. I also just the entire sequence with Mr. Myrtle at the end is very emotional. Very emotional. James Jill Jones, a baseball movie crossover for him. He did field of dreams like three, four years earlier.

We have a couple Field of Dreams crossovers in this one, of course. Chick Gandalfe, becoming the babe. Right. You two are a whole generation younger than me. When this movie came out, it was 30 years. It's set in 1962. So it's like basically 30 years later. The mystique of Babe Ruth, I think, still really existed in the early 90s.

And he was the greatest baseball player of all time and stuff. Mina, for your generation, is there still? like does Babe Ruth still kind of have that impact or was it fading by then? You know, the, so I was eight when this movie came out, I'm 34 now. And Babe Ruth was kind of his, the legend of Babe Ruth was concretized for my generation by this movie. And in the way a lot of, there's a lot of things in this movie that became important to kids my age because of the movie, which we can talk about all those things. but I don't think I cared about Babe Ruth that much until the film. And then rewatching it, it struck me that this is a group of, I guess, fifth into sixth graders.

It's 1962. And they're talking about a baseball player from the 1930s, which is kind of weird. That would have been like me that age talking about like Johnny Betch or something instead of King Griffey Jr. So it doesn't really, it's a little strange that they're so nostalgic for him. Yeah, you would have thought they would have moved on to me. Mickey Mantle by now. I guess the comparison would be like kids right now with Michael Jordan. Right. So it almost like if the last dance had come out about Babe Ruth in 1993. But yeah, I just think baseball, especially in 62, the babe, I think lingered. He's the most

famous athlete of the first half century, right? So he lingers in a way that I just think there's no comparison to now. Like we basically had Michael Jordan for this generation. I don't think it was nearly as big because back then it was like baseball, by far, the number one sport. There's some football. There's not really basketball, like 1962. Bill Russell's kicking ass, but basketball is not taking off. He had hockey's a regional sport with like six teams. So the bay, but it was almost like those like Portland, how Portland only has the blazers.

And all the people care about them like four times as much as a city with multiple teams. Mal, how do you feel about the baseball in this movie? The baseball that the kids play, the baseball history that they tap into all of the ball. As a baseball purist, how are you feeling about it? You know, I found myself assessing the Saber metrics of some of Benny the Jets' managerial tactics, of course, hard not to think about how he's positioning his defense, etc. You know, I do think we could spend multiple minutes breaking down whether he is actually safe when he steals home. as an adult Dodger. But we can maybe save that for picking nits or unanswerable questions.

Let's definitely circle back to that. It seemed like he was out. I'm the instant replay review. I actually called them out. Yeah, I agree. I have some notes on whether that holds up in the instant replay era. In general, there is this central element to opting into the story of the film, which is that it's not actually about how they're playing, right?

It's not about, like we hear from the adult Smalls narration, the game was just eternal. It just went on and on and on. Are they even keeping score? It's not really about the strategy or the tactics. It's just about, one, being out there with your friends, two, soaking up summer, and three, letting Benny practice as he makes abundantly clear multiple times throughout the film. He just needs a nine-man team. He needs to be able to rotate positions. He needs to get into his fungo routine and hit the ball wherever he wants to to perfect all of his specific batting approaches.

I do like the way that they inject real world baseball history into the movie. It feels like a very delicate and precise balance. And, you know, Mina and I are the same age. And this came out April of 93. April 93, yeah. Right. So I'm early in. in elementary school. And I love baseball already. I know who Babe Ruth is proud son of Baltimore,

right? I've heard stories from my dad. But just like little things, seeing all of the penance in the various bedrooms or trophy rooms or Bill's study, it was enough to intrigue you. It was enough to make you feel educated and want to learn more, but it never felt overwhelming. And I actually think that's a pretty hard thing to pull off. And one of the things that I enjoyed most about rewatching this movie as an adult and one of the things that I think appealed to me most as a kid. If you care about baseball, you really feel like you're soaking that up, but it never felt like encyclopedic and in its heavy-handedness. Well, think about the timing, right? April 93, Mina, we're 15 months away from the lockout,

strike. Was it a lockout or a strike? I can't remember. Whatever happened, baseball stops. Yeah. Baseball stops in 94. comes back and eventually has the whole steroids era. So baseball's still pretty innocent at this point. You also have at this point, Griffey, I think, had already played with his dad, right? In Seattle, on that whole, you have that whole arc. You have Frank Thomas is hitting it big. You have this whole new generation of people that we loved.

And it just felt like baseball was unbreakable. And movies like this made so much sense. and now the last 27 years and you think of all the damage even right now where we may not have a season now I watch this movie I'm like man remember we just love baseball

and we didn't pick it apart I think this was before Griffey went to Cincinnati Oh it's well before But this was a peak time to be a Seattle Maris fan The early 1990s right Beyond just Griffey

but yeah it's a very purest interpretation of baseball even cutting to what Mallory said about the structure of the film and the fact that very little baseball is actually played in it. I don't think you ever see like an inning, a completion of a play, like the way it's shot. Even when they have the showdown with the bad rich kids.

The Tigers. That's like an act two right in the film. And it's totally besides the point. Like the other baseball movies you mentioned, Ricky the Year, Little Big League, there's a big game or like a playoff or just there's no sense of winning or losing in the sandlot. Which I think is, that is the purest view of like the extreme purest view of baseball is that it's about process and enjoying it and the game and how dare you try to make it shorter and, you know, increase offense or whatever. And the sandlot, which of course is a childhood as reimagined by an adult, I think is like an encapsulation of that view.

Mallory, is this a kid's movie or a sports movie? Both. You had to pick one. I see no reason why they need to be mutually exclusive. You know, I don't like to pick things. Pick one. Is it a kid's movie or a sports movie? Because I actually feel like it's more of a kid's movie.

If you made me pick, I would say that it is a movie about childhood and about the nostalgia for something from your youth, something specific, but also kind of amorphous, like this sensation of what summertime and youth was. It actually, obviously, this was never something I had thought about when watching it as a kid because this comp I'm about to make didn't exist at the time. I found myself thinking a lot about Stranger Things when I was rewatching it the other night. I was thinking about Stand By Me because we just watch it, but same kind of thing. Like kids at age.

Yeah. Like obviously Stranger Things is. I cannot wait to talk about the parenting in this movie. Totally irrelevant. But, you know, obviously Stranger Things is there's a mythology and play and there's a fantasy element to it that is not present in the San lot aside from the legend and myth-making around the beast. But that sensation of, you know, you could feel the sun beating down on your skin. You can like smell the chlorine in the pool and the sunscreen lotion. You could almost hear what your own neighborhood ice cream

truck would have sounded like when it pulled down your street on a summer afternoon. And that aspect of it feels timeless. And he turns out. And he turns out of it. in a way that many other elements of the movie do not at all. And so that is why ultimately, if you movie pick, I would say it's a movie. It's a kid's movie and a movie about childhood more than anything else. Baseball is just the vessel. I agree. I think Stranger Things comparison is really apt because it's much more about like a group of kids than any one kid.

There's not really characterization, right, or interiority. And I also think it does the same thing Stranger Things does, which is it captures that feeling when you're a kid, when living. Literally everything is the most important thing in the world. Right. And everything is life or death. And the stakes are so high. And it's like, this is a movie about a ball going over a fence.

That's it. And these kids turn it into like this great adventure of a lifetime. It's obviously a distorted memory. But I remember that. Like that's what I was nostalgic for when I watched this movie. Is that feeling of a kid in your world being so small? And that sense of belonging that you get from whatever specific thing in your life or your neighborhood, your town.

gave that to you, right? And I think so many of the things that hold up well in the film, baseball is certainly at the heart of the movie, but it's those elements of baseball. Again, it's like, what makes you want to come together with people who you love or you want to get to know and share something and celebrate something? And this idea of mythologizing your heroes, building legends, building myths, and taking something like, you know, again, there's the the Hercules name comp between the beast and the babe, taking something that you would see and you would revere when you witnessed it elsewhere in the world

in Major League Baseball or anywhere else, and then trying to miniaturize it and apply it to your neighborhood and your life by, like, breathing that kind of aura and essence into something around you. There's like a never-ending story element to that that I just love so much to. It's so fun.

I really like, and this has only happened a couple of times with these kind of movies, the kid who is just so much better than everybody else, like kind of the legend in the making where all these kids revered Babe Ruth, but they also kind of revered Benny the Jet. And bad news, Bad News Bears and the sequel had that too with Kelly Leak,

where he was just the coolest kid. And he's driving, and the first one, he's driving around a moped. He's smoking Sigs. And the second one, he's driving the van. He's just cooler than everybody else. Right. They do a really nice job with Benny the Jet,

where he's cool than everybody else, but he's also not a dick, and he's like, weirdly thoughtful and really looks out for kids, looks out for smalls, and then you guys have some other thoughts on Benny and the Jet. I'll stay out. Stay out of the way. Meena, any thoughts on Betty the Jet other than what I just said? He's an empath, and it is remarkable to watch, and perhaps unrealistic for a child to be that mature and empathetic. Mallory, before we talk about our childhood feelings about Benny the Jet. Like, what are the standards here? Because it's obviously inappropriate to have this.

Like, I want to speak as eight-year-old Mina, who this is probably my first cinematic crush. I'd say typically on the rewatchful, there are no standards, right? Yeah, turn off the creep sign. You guys are talking as little kids now, not adult women. Okay. He was flawless. And as an adult watching, totally holds up. Not disappointed at all.

Yeah, he's, I don't think it is exaggerating to say that he is like a formative seminal crush for a person of a certain age. He was a very important figure in our lives and our peers' lives. Very important figure. Even the way he dressed, man. As Mallory and I talked about this, we both basically dress now like kids in the sandlot for realizing. Definitely our current wardrobe. Stripe shirts, jeans, like sneakers. Chuck tailors.

via Madewell. But Benny, like, first of all, I don't know how he played and ran in those jeans, but like the open shirt with the Dodgers hat and the cuffed jeans. Like, I feel like I dated guys in Williamsburg in like 2008 who dressed like that. He looks so cool. Yeah. Yeah. The look is timeless.

Well, you also had Jared Ledo in my so-called life like a year later. Jordan Catalano. You had the non-o-formative crush. There's this whole generation of crush guys. And many of the Jets got in there, even though he was young, even though he was illegal. But I think for the 14 and under generation, definitely was, you know, iconic. But I feel like young boys also had like boy crushes on him. Oh, no question.

Like any, I'm sure your son was like, this is the coolest kid I've ever seen in my life. He even is like a dad to them when they go to the carnival and he's like, it's on me. I'm like, what are you like? a year older than them? This doesn't make any sense. Well, he also has the ability to walk around while carrying extra hats and gloves in his ass. He could just pull them out randomly, whoever needs a glove or a hat. So the movie was inspired by a childhood experience of the brother of writer-director David Mickey Evans because he had some older boys, wouldn't let him play baseball with them. They lost the

ball over a brick wall. He tried to get on their good side by retrieving it for them, but he hopped the wall, found a giant dog named Hercules, and got bitten. So he turned that into basically a movie. Came out in April 93, $7 million budget, made $34 million. And then VHS and DVD sales estimated to be at $76 million. We had a couple sequels. Do we acknowledge the sequels? Where do you stand on the sequels?

I'll be curious to see what happens with the Disney Plus series. I can't say that the Sandlot 2 is a big part of my personal Sanlott experience. It was a funny... It was a funny sequel virginity loss for my son who just assumed... It's like, the San Lot 2, that'll be great. I love the San Lot one, not realizing that sequels are really never as good as the original, but especially in this case where you have none of the guys from the first movie. There's like a James Earl Jones cameo.

And then they made a third one with Luke Perry that... I don't think we talk about. Roger Ebert, three stars. Compared the movie to a summertime version of a Christmas story and told a whole story about this Benny the Jetplay and said, quote, I realized how completely this movie had seduced me with its memories of what really matters when you're 12. Raj getting deep. It's a great, a great, Raj review.

He has a couple real, real bangers in here. Lust is balanced by terrors. I mean, if that's not childhood in a nutshell, I don't know what is, right? That's the essence of a coming of age tale. Memories are sharper, colors or brighter, events are more important than a life can be changed forever in the course of a sunny afternoon. It's interesting to hear her I made so much money later. I guess it's not surprising, given that it's kind of a timeless kids movie. I'm sure the VHS sales were like off the chart for decades.

I think half of that money has to come from substitute teachers wheeling in the teachers. TV, right, during class. Sandlot, October Sky, remember the Titans. There's like a specific genre. I watched it many times in elementary school. There's a, it hits that blockbuster run, where blockbuster from basically 90 to 99 is unassailable. So it has that. Then it has the, you bought it in VHS, but then DVDs become a thing. And you're like, well, I got to get it on DVD. So kind of doubles up on that. And a movie you can really throw on for any, anybody, I would say, age maybe four and a half to five. As soon as kids have the attention span to watch a movie, if they like sports at all in any way,

they'll like this movie. Because it's little kids trying to pull off something. That's always going to work as a movie. We're going to take a quick break then we're going to do the categories. Let's talk about Blue Apron. Home cooking matters now more than ever. Blue Apron takes the guesswork out of dinner, and we mean more than just deciding what to eat. You can know your ingredients are being prepared and packaged.

With the highest attention of quality and safety and with their commitment to transparency and reducing waste, Blue Apron has your back in more ways than one. Feel good about your food and your environmental impact with Blue Apron. The first meal kit to partner with how to recycle, which is committed to transparency and reducing waste over 85% of Blue Apron packaging packaging is recyclable. 41% of the packaging materials are made from recycled content. also the first meal kit company to transition new drain-safe of fully recyclable ice packs. So feel good about your choices.

Create delicious meals at home with Blue Apron. You know what's fun? Cooking meals in your own house, so you don't have to go anywhere right now. Prices start as low as $7.49 per serving. And again, you don't have to leave your house. They'll bring the food to you. Stay at home. Do that anyway.

Don't sacrifice flavor. Don't settle for boring meals. find comfort in the kitchen with Blue Apron and enjoy delicious home-cooked meal. Check out this week's menu and get $30. Repeat, $30 off across your first two deliveries when you visit blueapron.com slash rewatch. Once again, that is blue apron.com slash rewatch. Blue Apron.

Feed your soul. All right. Most rewatchable scene in the sandlot. I have seven nominees. Wow. Are there even seven scenes in this movie? Yeah, it's like... Well, three really matter

and then the other ones I threw in. The first Sandlot scene, I just like when he does the... When Smalls joins the sandlot and he's a disaster, but it is it, don't be a goofus, don't be a goofus. Okay, I'll get it. Get it.

Don't be a goofus. Don't be a goofus. Don't be... When he makes his first catch, when Benny hits the 220-foot rope right into his glove, and then he... immediately learns how to throw. It's a miracle.

He couldn't throw the ball two feet and threw like he was missing an elbow or something. Like he'd had the worst time of giant surgery ever and just figured it out immediately. You ever have a paper out? I helped the guy once. Okay. Well, tuck it like you would throw a paper. When your arm gets here, just let go. Just let go. It's that easy. Yeah, but Benny just again, he has a sense for these things. He was able to unlock whatever. ever was inhibiting smalls by saying, you ever had a paper route?

You know, like this is the thing. You tap into something that's already a part of who you are. And that way it doesn't feel like this monumental hurdle, this new thing you have to learn. It's already there inside of you. You just have to find it. And his, Benny basically did what his stepdad couldn't do, right? Who, by the way, is a terrible dad played by Dennis Larry. And I am convinced hit him in the face on purpose.

So he could stop playing catch with him. Oh, my gosh. It's an early 60s day. I think the early 60s dads were just a little different. Not good hangs. Rough hanks. Rough to be married to. Rough if you're a little kid.

Didn't really care about anybody. Next, rewatchable scene, you mentioned the big game against the rivals. I actually wanted a little more from the scene, but I really liked it. They really could have built that up into a 10-minute monster scene. But it's a surprising swerve where you think they're going to get their asses kicked

and it actually goes the other way. They just kill that team. It's also just a remarkable show. going from Ham. That's what it's about. Yeah. The buildup to the actual game, the trash talking between Ham and Phillips has a couple what's aged the worst contenders in it, which I'm sure we'll get to in a few minutes.

But when you actually get out onto the diamond and Ham is just back there, like channeling a Bull Durham spirit from an older generation to distract the batter, get in their heads, The way that he's able to just manipulate the strike zone and the batter's eye, it's so funny. It's great. You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards. The heater. Here it comes. I tell you.

Strike three hero. Is that your sister out there in left field? Naked? She's naked. Shut up, Porter. Hey, hey. Hey, I'm just trying to have a little friendly conversation. What major league player would you compare him to?

Like a John Crook. Like an early Pudge Rodriguez crossed with John Crook? I went to a Dodgers game. I told you guys this. And it was Sandlot Night, which I didn't know. And the original cast members that haven't been arrested, which is a shrinking group. Showed up, which we can talk about.

It's coming up later. Tough stuff there. But Ham, the great Hambino was there. He looks exactly the same. Like, I'm sure he gets recognized all the time. And I thought his performance aged terrifically. Like, the line deliveries, so good. He's like great kid.

Like, the rest of the kid actors are not very good. He is excellent. And in that particular scene, he has the shaved dog line. about like if my dog was ugly you, I was shave his butt and tell me to walk backwards. It's hilarious. Like, yeah, he's so good in it. And I thought based on that scene in this movie

that that was part of being a catcher, like in baseball. You just talk trash the entire game. Totally because of this performance. Yeah, now if you did that, you'd be admonished for trying to make baseball more fun. They'd probably suspend you for two days. smalls next scene smalls homers with the babe ruth ball which is this great moment but then realizes oh shit

we find out he doesn't know who babe ruth is which i just refused to believe in 1962 that's like not knowing who elvis is it's completely unless he was like the kid in the room just living in like a cellar and not having no human contact i just don't see how he was just completely oblivious to babe ruth makes no sense but it has some good quotes in there where I think Ham says The Great Bambino The Sultan of Swat

The King of Crash The Colossus of Clout The Colossus of Clout The Greybrew And then less than a god more than a man It's just it's quote central for that scene The pool scene not It's one of those things that loses its shock

value each time you see it. And now it's kind of like, eh. But first time I thought, I thought was effective. The triple vacuum explosion I have. And then, and then Benny steals the ball from the beast. I have that as the seven when Benny finally pulls it off at the end. I'm missing anything? So amazingly, we've gone from, oh my God, you have seven picks. Are there even seven scenes in the movie to I think I have five that you didn't mention just now. We'll put two good ones. Well, I love the legend of the beast sequence, story time. Camp out, you know, in the tree house. The Smoor's lesson, that you're killing me small's line.

Of course, an iconic moment. Yes. Yeah, that should be in there. Just the essence of summer friendship and childhood right there. And I think the actual retelling of the beast origin story from squints is just, I mean, it's obviously like so deliberately campy. overly stylized, but it is just really fun and effective. And I think given the spirit of the exercise, it is fun to rewatch because of how much is playing out on screen as the audio is

playing. You know, this is kind of grainy black and white footage, these exaggerated angles and facts about how many kids have been eaten and everything. And then, you know, the squints, and he grew big. And he grew mean. I just, if that's on, I'm going to stop and watch for a few minutes. I think, you know, you mentioned, Bill, this is, I'm not going to count this as one of my additional picks. It's supplemental. You mentioned the vacuum sequence. I think the entire ball retrieval sequence really holds up. And much like, you know, the whole spirit of the movie has a little bit of a, which character, you know, which member of the San Lock Crew are you and which one do you want to be friends with? There's that. You could apply that question to the ball retrieval sequence to,

like, which was your favorite, which would have been the one you tried? Like, maybe Mina is the the bungee jumper. You know, I am personally very fond of the Smalls erector set attempt, you know, the moment when the beast comes in and snaps the ball from midair's fabulous, but also the amazing erector set. Oh, remarkable. I mean, for 1962, those kids were really stepping it up. Well, he, so that's part of what I like about it so much is, you know, to go back to the earlier part in the film where Smalls' his own mother shames him for being inventive and smart.

And to see him bring that out. with all of these kids who didn't accept him at first and how all of these aspects of his life are kind of coalescing very organically in that moment. I actually think that's like really I don't want to overstate the poetry of it, but like kind of impactful quietly. What other scenes? Benny and Small speaking to- nine scenes. We're good. Benny and Small speaking to Mr. Myrtle, the Babe Ruth dream sequence. I have it coming up. I have it coming up and what stage the best. Mena, what do you have for most re-watchable?

I have, okay, so I love the scene where he's integrated into the team and Benny basically hits it directly to him because it was like that perfect display of both skill and empathy that we've been talking about. And in one scene, you learned everything about this person. And I got emotional because watching kids be nice to each other makes me emotional because it's so rare because they're terrible. And so that I think also was when my crush was concretized. But the peppercorn scene, which I'm sure will get. too when we talk about things that have aged poorly. For sure. There are moments in that, though, that are absolutely hilarious. The performance from Squints, when he turns and looks at them, I died laughing again. And then, of course, was aghast for reasons we can talk about. But it's so funny.

Like, his performance of it is so, so funny. It's, I don't know. I laughed a lot. Oh, also, the dip scene, which neither of you had mentioned, Actually, because I'm a plea, and I think physical comedy is funny when the kids are all puking at the carnival, at a tequila. And it's going so stupid, but I laughed. My only thing, the only reason I didn't include that is it, it just, this movie rips off some other movies pretty shamelessly.

And that's a pretty blatant. We need our stand by me, puke scene. And they kind of just worked it in. I don't know. It was only like seven years after it. I have for most rewatchable. I love when he hits the homero with the Babe Ruth Bell and that whole reaction and them just going, all the beats, all the quotes, them trying to figure out how they can get it back. I just think it's really good.

It's a really good five minutes. What do you have, Malice? I think that's a good pick, too, because I think the other main contenders spawned directly from that. You know, the ball retrieval attempt, Benny Pickling the Beast, which is painful for me, as mentioned before. and then the ultimate conversation with Mr. Myrtle and realizing that this person who, you know, again, like one of the, I think, subtly powerful things about the film is that you have these moments where like there's a little bit of a boo

Radley to kill a mockingbird thing going on here. You know, these people in your neighborhood who you think you can't approach and are made to be a certain way in the story. stories that children tell and there's something really hateful and wrong about that. And seeing that they could just go in there and have a conversation and then he can invite them over to talk about baseball with him once a week. And it's just like a person who wants to have a conversation about a thing he loves. And I really like that emotional note at the near the end of the film. So all of those are kind of looped together in my mind, even though it probably covers

40 minutes and five separate scenes. The 27 Yankees ball is a pretty nice exclamation point. Great stuff. And they're like, Luke Eric. Uh, what stage the best? Mentioned the legend of Babe Ruth. The smores monologue is kind of a thing with kids. These are smor stuff. Okay, pay attention.

First, you take the gram. You stick the chocolate on the gram. Then you roast the mallow. When the mallow's flaming, you stick it on the yellow steaming. You stick it on the mallow. chocolate. Then you cover it with the other hand.

You cover it with the other hand. Yeah, me too. Then you scoff. Like this is one my son knew by the time he was eight. We would make Smoors. He would do the whole monologue. I think that's lived on. I think it has had a whole new YouTube life.

And it's just going to keep going. Yeah. I think when it's the iconic Smoors monologue. Like does it have competition? It's an incredible scene because the way it's set up, ham is kind of like he has like a station, like he's a caterer at a wedding, like, you know, at a saviche bar is like all set up there. It never explains it or anything. I wrote down a list of things that this movie taught me about as a kid, again, eight years old,

and smores was number one. I didn't know smores were a thing until I watched this movie. What a great thing to learn. So many things. smores, tree houses. I'd never had a tree house. I thought it was amazing. Telling a scary story

while holding a flashlight under your chin. Time-tested kid trick that I did not know. Did you not watch? Are you afraid of the dark? Too scary for me. I also wasn't allowed to watch scary things. The word bitching. Cannonballs.

The scene, which we skipped over, where he, you know, he tells you think I'm sexy, and then cannonballs into the pool. I thought that was hilarious as a child. And then Pickles. this movie, first of all, they say, and then I got in the biggest pickle of my life, maybe six times in the film.

At least. For two minutes. But much like Babe Ruth, I think it imbued upon a generation of children that pickles were a thing that happened all the time in baseball and are a huge deal, which are not. I just very quickly, before we move on from the smores, I just want to say.

It's a wonderful scene. I love it. However, you got to let the chocolate melt a little bit, more. Agree. You just have to. Like, you're, you're, you're heating the mallow, as he says. And then he just, he puts it on, assembles it, and then bites right in.

Like, let that soften up. Let that all really come together. I, I just, it pains me to think that that was Smalls' first bite of a smores before the chocolate properly melted. I knew Mallory was going to restrain herself during the Ben of the Jet conversation, but I knew the smores conversation. you would go all out on that one. The thing with s'mores is that so rarely does it actually come out perfectly

because everybody gets so excited to eat the s'more, they don't do all the little tiny things that make it like seven times better than it is. But people just want to rush the s'more. It's like, oh, the marshmallow looks melted and then they're eating it. You can't rush the spores. It's about the effort in the process. Yeah. Right?

It's, yeah, good-bye. Thanks. For what stage is the best? I just have, I wrote Wendy Pfeffercorn down because it's just that classic old school, the one beautiful person, the one beautiful person in the town or the lifeguard or the person who works in the drugstore. And all these movies have it, right? This one who like, it kind of ascends over everybody else and becomes this legend. But I like the name Wendy Pephricorn, I thought was a really good.

Oh, man. Remember, remember that girl that work does the lifeguard? Wendy Pfeffricorn? Like, I don't know how they come up with that, but I like the name. Should we save our follow-ups for what's age the worst? Or should we just do it all right now? No, no, we're saving it. Same it. Okay. We'll get to. Ham Porter, aka the Great Hambino. Yeah. It's amazing he didn't get nominated for an Oscar. I think it was totally, could have been totally justified.

He is in a different movie. good in this movie. He's like Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam. He's carrying scenes at a time. And it's kind of hard to believe he didn't become a bigger star. He's like amazing. Like when I say my son loves Ham Porter, like this is one of his favorite characters ever. He's got the right insults. He's got that mischievous twinkle in his eye. He's a good athlete. I just love him. He's revelatory that I wrote actually in my notes. Ham walked so Jonah Hill could run. can't have Jonah Hill without the proto Jonah Hill, which is Hamports. And the world wasn't ready for him to be like an A-list star, despite his obvious acting talent at the time. But the world's ready

now. We got Hill. We got Rogan. And it's a shame, honestly, because you're right. The performance is, it holds up. It's actually the best performance in the entire film. Wait a second. So you're saying Ham Porter paves the way for the Jed Apatow comedies. I like it. I expand the take. I love it. No, it's great. Because you're right. If the whole Jet Apatow infrastructure is in place in the 90s, Ham about four years later, he's in Superbad. And then it's just going. And Ham's a major star. He is a plus Lister. He is in so many films where he's dating women who are way too attractive for him in this alternate universe where he becomes a thing later. He's excellent. Great job, Ham. I also have, I just really like James Earl Jones.

He has a very high P.E.R. for me. Anytime he pops in a movie, I'm happy. He's just been really good in a lot of different things, and he's had such a great career. But in Field of Dreams, he's so angry when you first meet him the first couple times. And then when the switch flips and he's like happy, he's happy, Terrence, man. I just like hanging out with James Earl Jones, so it made me happy to see him. And then the other one I had for What's Age the Best.

I love that Kenny's rocking the Kansas City Monarch's hat. Yeah. It's a little subtle, but it's like they did a nice job with that. I still don't understand why Kenny was he officially pitching what was going on with him. Like he's at the mound, but Benny's hitting fungos. Like I didn't really understand that part, but I liked how he looked. Yeah. The monarch's hat is great.

And, you know, the filmmaker has given some interviews over the years about the Thelonious Myrtle character, Jamesville Jones' character. and obviously he was a player in the Negro League. So having that incorporated into the film is, you know, important, obviously. And there's a New York Times Richard Sandmere article from, I think, from right when the film came out back in 93, where they, he explains the kind of, because there was confusion around the comment about, oh, George. And, you know, obviously, Jackie Robinson. broke the color barrier baseball in 47. And a couple of quotes from that article, I think, are illuminating. What the film does not explain is that major leaguers used to barnstorm in the offseason with players from the Negro leagues, according to John Hallway, a Negro league historian.

Ruth, quote, Ruth played against Negro leaguers in Cuba all over New Jersey and out west in Kansas City and St. Louis. I just figured he was basically Josh Gibson, even though he wasn't Josh Gibson, but somebody like that. The Myrtle. I found it really confusing in the movie, Malory. I mean, the explanation makes total sense, but there's the scene at the end I guess we're kind of, this is what age the worst for me, when Myrtle's sitting with Smalls

and he's like, yeah, and you know, I was excellent, and then, you know, what happened? And Small's like, you went blind. I'm like, no, wait, what? I thought he was going to say you're black, right? And you weren't allowed to play, and so it was kind of a faint that I actually found confusing. And then when they cut to him, like the photos of

him, you see he's not wearing major league jerseys and the explanation does make sense. But, you know, the film is pretty whitewashed. Yeah, you wish that that had never, yeah, you wish that that had been incorporated and addressed directly more fully in the movie because it is such an important part of the history of the sport. I think they probably had that conversation and looked at each other and was, and we're like, this is a movie about smores and and a crazy dog with superhuman strength. And maybe we'll avoid the Negro League subplot. I'm with you guys. though. I think they easily could have addressed it in like 30 seconds.

Easily. Like, I was the star. We used to have the Negro leagues. You know, blacks weren't allowed to even play baseball until 1947, but we were hoping every year we would have that chance. I was like you could have, it was 22 seconds. It's done and you do it. Right. But the other, I mean, that, there were a few moments in the film where you I know it's supposed to, it takes place in like the valley or something, suburban LA, I think. I couldn't tell. I don't know if we really got a, answer. Something Dodgers related, though. So somewhere in California, but I don't know where.

Yeah. I think it's supposed to be supposed to be in San Fernando Valley, though, they film it in Utah. I mean, the scene at the pool, I was thinking about that because there's only one non-white, or one black kid, because Benny is Rodriguez, on the team. And I was thinking about that. Okay, this is 1961. You know, a lot of pools around the country were not integrated. This was before the Civil Rights Act. So, again, it's not necessarily a rewriting of history because this is California, who knows, but it did feel like, okay, we're just not going to address any of this. This is an idyllic town. Race is not a factor here and then later on in the film.

I have for Woodsage the best Ham Porter, aka the Great Hambino. I think it's 27 years since we met this spectacular human being and he gets better every year. What do you have now? I think, you know, on the ham front, just nicknames in general. It's a great movie for nicknames. We already talked about that genre of early to mid-90s, kids baseball and kids' sports movies and the Sanlott's place in that. I think that's probably my pick. I would also just note the film's fashion again, which Mina already brought up a couple times.

You know, the retro tease very in vogue right now, pair of jeans, Chuck Taylor's or P.F. Flyers. Wonderful stuff. Love that. What do you have, Mina? I really like the music, even though it was incredibly on the nose in every scene, right? Like the peppercorn scene, this magic moment, green onions when they're playing the bad kids, tequila, wipe out for the chase scenes. Like these are the most obvious music choices, but like when you're a kid, they're also the perfect music choices. And when I hear them now, some of them remind me of these scenes.

score by David Newman, cousin or Randy Newman. All right, I have some what's age the worst. Same. The narrator, I think, is bad. And there's a reason the narrator's bad. It was the writer and director, David Evans. Like, spend the extra $10 and get, like, Tim Robbins to come in and do, like, whoever you need.

Get somebody with a cool voice just to come in for three hours and bang out the lines. are you doing it? It's such an easy fix. And half of those lines are, we were in the biggest pickle I had ever seen. Right, right. I don't know why they did that. Another would say it's the worst. It's a bummer that nobody became a breakout star from this cast. This is a more fun movie of like Leo DiCaprio is the sixth lead. And then you're like, oh my God, Leo DiCaprio, I can't believe he was in this. It's so crazy. But just it's one of those movies where nobody ends up being that person. We don't even get like a Fred Savage or even Thomas Ian Griffith went on to do American Pie after Rookie of the Year, you know.

That's weird. Another what's age is the worst. This is a weird one. But Karen Allen as the mom, it was a bigger deal in 1993 than I think it is now. Because you're talking 11 years after Raiders of the Lost Ark. You see Karen Allen. Like she was still, she had a lot of, a lot of weight at that point and gave the movie like real credibility. And now it's weird, 27 years later, Dennis Leary, I think is more kind of known, you know, from the last 27 years and say over the female lead of Raiders in Lost Dark.

I think since you're mentioning mom and stepdad Bill, we can talk about the parenting more generally in the movie for a second. Yeah, let's do it. My goodness. So obviously, in general, the, oh, go play with your friends, like off-hands vibe is just of the time, right? Very familiar. Even I think to people my age and Mina's age, like go ride your bike with your friends for a few hours. I'll see you at dinner. Okay, fine. It's a couple other things specifically. Obviously, Bill ignoring Smalls and Smalls having to just like keep back. asking him to teach him how to play catch. It's just heartbreaking. And then Small's his mom, making him feel like a loser for being smart. I just can't.

This is so rough. I was appalled watching this. Like, Scotty, have you made any friends yet? No. Why not, honey? Well, give me a fucking day or two, mom. Like, this is like, it's real like I'm trying my best, Jennifer territory to me.

That scene where she's like, we don't want this to be like last summer, where you stayed indoors and did science all day. In 2020, if a kid stayed indoors and did science all day, Paris would be fucking slow. They'd be like, oh, great, I have a STEM genius here. Don't play baseball. Exactly. She discourages him from doing smart kid things. He says, face it, I'm just an egg head.

She says, honey, you'll always be just an egghead with an attitude like that. I hope that when Smalls invented his tech business, his app, way down the road and cash in for billions, he didn't give a cent to his mother. But he was derailed. He just became an announcer. If she hadn't pressured him to play baseball, he probably would have founded Facebook. Here's the thing. He's too early.

He's too early. He's too early. He's too early. He's just right out there in his booth. You know? So I think maybe he has another income stream coming on the side from his like personal inventions. That's my pet theory.

What do we think happened to Smalls' dad? Was it a divorce? Or was it like guy got hit by a train? Died when he was young. Died when he was young. He said he died. Yeah. Oh, I missed that part.

Any number of tragedies could have be fallen. The family. Dennis Lair is just stepping in? Yeah. Well, barely. He was like, all right, I'll marry you. I just don't ask me to spend any time whatsoever with your child. And here's a-

angry when he calls him dad. Yeah. Well, you know, like at least he had time to take a oozing, graying steak out of the freezer to slap on his kid's face. Oh my God. That had that as what changed the worst. Put him steak on a black eye. That would never happen now. It's like Haggard. Tee can get arrested by dragon meat. Awful. Yeah. We mentioned the Erecter set, the catapult. It just seemed a little too elaborate for 1962. The Babe Ruth dream, that guy just didn't seem like Bay Ruth. Plus, he had the Field of Dreams backstory from four years earlier where I'm still thinking he's that guy. And it's like,

you're not Babe Ruth. Come on. This is my son's what's age the worst. The picture of the Sanlock kids at the very end, they show that great color picture of them. And he's like, why would that picture be in color? Wouldn't it be black and white? And I was like, that's a great catch,

Benson's. Because he's right. They wouldn't have that picture in color in 1962. There's no way. And then we had Wendy Pefricorn, the name in what's age the best. I guess, I don't have to spend 20 minutes on this, but I guess the pool scene and roping the lifeguard into making out

with you maybe in 2020 would have some ramifications. I texted Mallory. I really don't want to talk about consent vis-vis when you prefercourt. It's fine. But it definitely would not fly today. In particular, the part where he grabs her head is the part where I think I was like, oh, damn, I didn't remember that part. And then he's tricking her into the kiss.

for it. This is the thing. I think ultimately, you know, there's the, the, the tricking her into the kiss, horrible, obviously. The narration really adds to the cringe factor. You know, he had kissed a woman and he had kissed her long and good, like the skin crawling listening to that, really yikes stuff. And, you know, again, you guys, you guys have both mentioned things about that general pool sequence that you like. And I think, I think most of the pool sequence is very much in this tradition, like, Fast Times Linda. Yeah.

Even Billy from Stranger Things more recently a direct homage to the fast time sequence, of course. It just, when you're watching it in 2020, the way that all

concludes just really, really, really does not age well. Tough. Well, then they circle back near the end. They're like, Get married.

Nine kids. Wendy kind of gave her a wink, gave him a wink or whatever. A great lesson for kids. Thanks. That seemed like you kind of don't really buy it, by the way, some of the stuff, like when the boys are like, she knew exactly what she was doing. I'm like, I don't really see those kids being there, like emotionally yet. It felt a little bit

like they skipped a beat, I suppose. They seem younger. Casting what ifs. The older and the younger Benny were played by Real Life Brothers. That's right. Yeah. Really? Pablo Vitar and Mike Vitar. I don't know. I think it's Vitar. I don't know how to say it. The casting directors originally wanted the kids to be nine and ten years old. They started casting, realized that was too young. Up did a couple years. And then if you want to go super intense, the guy who played yeah-yeah-yeah, originally read for Bertram, didn't get Bertram, wasn't the first choice for yeah-ya, kid who was cast for yeah-ya, got sick. And that kid came in late. So he wally pipped him. Best that guy, aka the Joey Pants Award.

So the guy's name is Art Lafleur, the guy who played Babe Ruth, who was also the guy in Field of Dreams, who was like the sarcastic. I think it was the guy who said what a Dick Ticob was, or they wouldn't let Ticob play. That guy's name is Art LaFleur. I'm giving it to him. What about him for that guy? Patrick Renna.

I feel like when you see him, you know, on like a CSI episode or something, you're like, oh, that guy. What has he been in? I don't know if he's that guy, though. I just think he's ham. I don't think he's that guy. You see him and it's like, hey, it's the great hambeino. Like he's almost transcended that guy's status.

That's fair. That's fair. The Vincent Hanna, give me all you got a word for best overacting. Squintz dows it up. Squintz is going for it. And that's will it be for the rest of his life. Because when Mr. Myrtle asked the cops how long he had to keep the beast chained up like a slave, He said until forever.

Forever. Pim for another category. Okay. Interesting. Well, I'm so glad about 10 rewatchables ago, we added the Brandy Booth Award for Best Performance by a Pet. I give Hercules 10 out of 10 chewy's. I think it's a tour to force.

Remarkable. He's this terrible beast. And yet when the fence lands on him, as Mallory pointed out, it's really sad and you're like, no. But he isn't this terrible beast. That's the thing. No. He's taking the balls because he just wants to play fetch.

He just wants to have this interaction. It's like so heartbreaking. He just wants to hang out with the neighborhood kids. He just wants to play. Like the way he sits there so peacefully watching their game and his little t-shirt at the end. I love it. What a remarkable dog.

The scene where he licks, Scotty, is really cute. Because you know he's going to. and then he delivers like a full, full, like, Beethoven-style lick. And it's perfect. By the way, I'm going to go with adult smalls for the overacting. Oh. Yeah. That's great.

Good call. Arlesa. I like it. That guy hasn't gone on too much. English Mastiff. That was the dog. Apparently, this kind of merges with half-ass internet research, but five, five of them playing her because of the heat while they were filming. Deion Waiters Award for the best heat check.

This is Squintz. Well, but he's... Is he just in too much of it? They're in the movie a lot, the kids. It's tough to... We're in weird territory with the Deion Waders thing because if it's somebody who's not in the movie that much, you got to give it to James Earl Jones.

If you're giving it to one of the kids who's not a central character, but is a side character, it's probably squints. I don't know what the answer is. We're still living. litigating the rules and the rewatchables four years in. I think James Earl Jones is really good in that scene, though. Do you think so? I just like him. I know we like him, but I recently

watched the movie Best of the Best. Oh, yeah. Eric Roberts. As me to. Yeah. James Earl Jones is so bad in it that it got me questioning. Is he actually a good actor or does he just have a cool way about him? What a take. It's unbelievable. I don't know where to go. Oh, my God. I'm so This is like an hour and a half in, so a lot of people hopefully... I did not think we were going to get a James... Moonlight Trump! I'm sure he's good on this pod. He's so charismatic.

See, here's the thing. I think no matter what movie he's in, what role he's playing, just the charisma is infectious. There's this magnetic pull where you are sucked into the scene. And that's just not something that... Not an ability that everybody possesses. You knew Babe Ruth? George?

I sure did. And he knew me. He was almost as great a hitter as I was. I would have broken his record, too, but... You was blonde. Yep. I used to crowd the plate so the strike zone almost disappeared. Pitchers hate that.

That's the way I played. 100% all the time. I love it. He's not great and best of the best, but I like that he's in there. That movie is on, it's on one of the streaming services. I noticed it. sound like HBO Max or Peacock or one of those. Have Fast Internet Research.

This movie was originally called The Boys of Summer. The author of Boys of Summer, Roger Khan, said, no, you're not calling it that. Threatened to sue and they had to change it. I'm actually glad it's called The Sandlot. We mentioned two of the actors in this movie starred in D2, The Mighty Ducks, which is for our friend, Remember Brown, the godfather of sports movies. the Vincent drugstore that scene when Smalls first goes to the sandlot

was also used in Halloween 4 and Halloween 5. It's a gamut of movie locations for that. The chewing tobacco from the carnival scene made out of licorice and bacon bits and they had to keep filming and filming and the kids eventually really did get as sick as they were supposed to be in the movie

because it was just disgusting. I saw beef jerky as well. Beef jerky. was one of the props they used. Delicious. Mr. Myrtle shows the boys a photo of himself with Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig obviously retouched. Real photo, though. Jimmy Fox.

The person who was in there was Jimmy Fox, who later became the model for a league of their own. So there you go. It all comes around. The real-life squint sued and won and then got reversed in the court of appeals. But his name was Michael Polideros. Childhood classmate of the writer-director, David Mickey Evans. Rough one. Claims Squintz was based on him.

Was derogatory? Caused him shame and humiliation. I guess because of the pool scene? So anyway. Definitely not at the time. He won. I thought he was so cool. Yeah, he won.

He sued 20th Century Fox. He won. And then they overturned it. Did you know the plot for the Sandlot 3, heading home? No. I do know that there's a, that they kind of turn the, you know,

another like, what's aged the worst contenders, the main insult being you play ball like a girl and they kind of turn that on its head and introduce a prominent character. I just about to guess, I bet there's like a girl character. I think that's in San Juan,

too, though, right? I'm not sure about the Luke Perry vehicle. I can't say that I've seen these sequels. And it's Wendy Peppercorn's daughter, thus, you know, canceling out. the sins of Sanlet 1. Well, the plot of San Lat 3,

Luke Perry, stars as Tommy Santa Santorelli. He gets knocked back to 1976 from 2005 and relives his childhood. It's a time travel movie. It's a time travel movie. I love time travel movies. Oh, I might have to check this out, honestly. Apparently Squintz is in it, too. The guy reprised his role of script.

The actor. Oh, okay. Well, you mentioned a movie arrests. So Benny, A.K. Mike Vitar, felony assault. He was a firefighter. Conflicting reports on what was going on. Somebody was handing out Halloween candy who seemed creepy and things escalated. The guy who played Smalls, Tom Geary, headbutted a cop.

He went to jail. And then Mike York, who is another one in the crew, he had a suspicion of domestic assault. rest. I actually was worried it was like five or six. So we're still less than 50% with the cast. If you're looking for silver linings. Matt was horrified. Oh, no.

If anything, is a real never meet your heroes moment for girls of a certain age. Once I tell that, I was upset. Apex Mountain. Every kid in this movie? Yeah. Every kid in the movie. Yeah. That's right. The director as well. English Mastiff's? I think not necessarily English massifs, but I think specifically swinging dog balls. You know, the very, very, very prominent testicle cam that we have throughout the Benny Pickles, the beast sequence, the number of shots where her...

An interesting decision. It's just a lot of dangling dog dick. Just a lot of it. A lot of dog genitals. They could have CGI'd the balls, made them a little smaller. Speaking of CGI, like all the special effects or quote unquote special effects, everything about the dog is insanely. It's so poorly done. Like the sound effects sound like they're coming from a different movie, like playing in a different TV somewhere.

Which you can make an artistic case for it. Well, it's a kid, it's a kid's memory so everything's amped up. And of course, a dog can't throw something over a fence on its own. But I don't think that was the, I don't think there was a lot of artistic, you know, reasoning behind. The only, I'll attempt one devil's advocate counterpoint. This is a generous interpretation. But, you know, what are they, what movie do they run through during the chase scene? It's the wolfman. So I do think there is this element of kind of heightening the terror of the beast that you perceive. Right. But, you know, also the effect just wasn't very good.

For Apex Mountain, would you go little kid baseball movies? Or do you think it was Bad News Bears and Bad News Bears Breaking Training? I still think that's the answer. Bad News Bears was a phenomenon in the 19th. I think it made probably like eighth or ninth highest gross for that year for baseball movies, spawned a couple sequels. So I feel like that has to be it, but I had to mention. A league of their own was really big for my generation, another popular substitute teacher choice.

that actually... But that's an adult movie, though. Yeah, well, kids, we were allowed to watch it. I'd actually be interested in rewatching that and saying how much of it was appropriate for children because I watched it a lot as a kid. But, I mean, I have generational bias. Apex Mountain for Swinging Dog Balls,

or was there another movie that did it better, Mel? That's my pick. I'd have to re-watch Beethoven for weighing in. I still love Beethoven. I mentioned Sierra Leyen. Smalls. Could any little kid really be that bad at baseball that didn't have like some sort of disorder? Like, could you be a 12 year old boy and not be able to throw a ball two feet?

But he can't throw it. He can throw it ultimately. Initially, the first time he has catch with Dennis Leary, he just basically drops the ball as he was throwing. Like, I've never seen that in my life. You can take, believe me, I have a son who plays different sports. I've seen some unathletic kids in my day. There is nothing remotely comparing to that. He just needs to find the confidence.

Maybe he just has a yips. Yeah, there you go. Well, Dennis Leroy never makes any effort to actually, he just keeps saying, watch it. He doesn't teach him at all. He doesn't teach him at all. The narrator says Hercules lived to be 199 years old. Yeah. So I did the dog math on this. It's seven, yeah, it's 28, 28 and a half, something like that.

I'm positive that an English Mastiff couldn't live to 28 and a half. I've never heard of any dog living in 28 and a half. I don't know why they did that. That was stupid. Speaking of the dog. All right. So the dog's in the backyard all day on a chain. And his only parent is a blind guy.

That backyard should be covered in shit. I mean, covered. It should have dog shit landmines everywhere. The ball should just land in shit when you hit a home run. There's no, who's picking up the shit? It also never walks him, right? No. Otherwise, then they wouldn't know something about him.

That dog is living a pretty miserable life. Yeah, Mal, any PETA concerns on the... I think that Hercules and Mr. Myrtle probably have a very special bond and are both misunderstood by the cruel forces at play in a suburban neighborhood where the bias settles in before you give anybody a chance. And I think it's distressing, and I'm glad that they both got to show their true spirits at the end of the film. I am sure that Hercules, you know, do I love that he's out there all day, chained? I do not.

Do I love that he's out there in the beating son all day? No. I'd like to think, you know, look, we saw that he buried 150 baseballs in one neat little pile. Maybe he's learned a certain bathroom etiquette that he discovered on his own. He seems very advanced to me. And again, he's mature, you know, 28 by the end of things. I mean, he's had experience. You know?

I have another take that just occurred to me about Myrtle and Hercules. If I was Dennis Leary, okay, so I'm the stepdad, and my kid comes back and he's like, hey, dad, I have this 1927 Yankees ball that a strange man gave to me. I have to see him once a week, but it's yours now. I'd be alarmed. Yeah, the parents again. That's a good car. They're not asking any follow-ups. Speaking of the ball, it is slight nickpicked.

So they spell Babe Bruce's name wrong on the ball and you think it's going to pay off. But then it's just never addressed again. It almost feels like a deleted scene or something. But they add the E to the end. It's like, oh, this is going to backfire. It's like a red herring. It's like the Russians going into the woods and the Sopranos. It's just never, it takes you in this direction.

That's just never addressed again. I don't know if it was intentional or not. That's one of my nipicks too because I think that even though Benny's not necessarily portrayed as a brainiac, he is such a student of the game that you would think he would know how to spell Babe Ruth's name. He was smart in his own way. Well,

emotional. Emotional. Emotional. His eyelashes were so much longer than I remembered. Cut that. That's weird. Mallory, more nitpicks.

What do you have? I have a few. Okay. I'm sorry to bring this up. I just... Oh, no. I cannot believe that none of those boys had ever seen a Playboy magazine.

I cannot believe it and I don't believe it. In 1962. It's just, it's not, it's not possible. What was the tree house and the general clubhouse and really the whole Sandlot experience for if not to share porn with each other and go like, look at it? I, you know, I just don't, I don't believe that young boys in the 60s did not find a way. By the way, especially creepy youngsters who were saying pool honey. which we have not talked about yet.

Right. I just don't buy it. I just don't buy it. Fair point. They didn't know how to look for porn or make s'mores. Who were these kids? There's just no way. I mean, they're popping into drug stores multiple times per day to buy, you know, candy and baseballs.

Especially given that they're so horny for Wendy. So on one hand, you've got this information. Then on the other hand. These are kids who've gotten their hands on chewing tobacco. We know that one of that Bertram, he ends up getting lost to the drug craze of the 60s. These kids had Playboys. That's,

I'm sure of it. Okay. There should have been some baseball cards in that tree house, too. They could have thrown in some 1962 tops, couple packs. I'm glad you, I'm glad you brought up a baseball card because I have a new pick on, on the Hank Aaron card.

Now, I know this is a dream sequence, okay? But even in a dream, you cannot convince me that Ben, would give away, even to Babe Ruth and even in her dream, a Hank Aaron rookie card. This is the summer of 62, okay? Which means even if we're not factoring in the 62 season and the stats that Hank would

have accumulated during that season, from 54 to 61, he had 253 home runs. You don't give away that rookie card. You just don't do it. Benny! It's a dream. Obviously, he's not dreaming about women because he's never seen porn. Oh, my God. True.

And then speaking of precious baseball memorabilia, Bill, Papa Bill, you have a signed Babe Ruth baseball and you don't put it in a protective case of any kind. Like this little stand that it's on is horseshit. Put it in a glass or a plastic case. Like, treat that the way to shit. I don't think they had that in 1962. I think it probably, it's probably how they did it back then. I was legitimately creeped out when the mom is like, you know he doesn't like it when he touches your stuff. I was like, yeah, he bit him on purpose. I knew it in the beginning. Like there was something so creepy about Bill. And I was struck by the memorabilia room because, like,

ultimately the film is about memorabilia, right? Yeah. And that is an extremely 90s thing because memorabilia was peaking around then. You would know more about memorabilia than me, Bill. But I think it was like the peak of cards. and all of that, right? In the early 90s, yeah. It started to take off mid-80s,

and early 90s was when it got over saturated. You would never have a signed baseball or a sign card or something be like the pivotal object in a movie right now. Even though they still have a lot of value. It just doesn't carry the same weight in the public imagination.

Should Google what some of those items are worth today. These people just giving them away, left and right. Could be cashing in $150,000, et cetera. Relatedly, by the way. Another nitpick here. Did I miss something?

Why does Smalls go to get the signed baseball to play with? We know he has another baseball because he and Bill played catch with it and then hit him in the face. Why doesn't he use that one? I don't understand. What's he doing? Yeah, that's tough. What's he doing? I don't understand.

Speaking of the baseballs, do we really think an individual baseball cost 98 cents in 1962? My son and I were doing the math on this. I don't know. That's a good question. That's like, what is that, like $15 now for one baseball? Another nitpick, when they get into James Earl Jones's yard and, you know, meet him for the first time, no one ever tells him his fence fell over. Okay, this is. He's blind.

He has no idea. This is a huge problem for him. Missed Blina. Not only that, they don't repair it. In the final sequence, well, before we get to the future sequence at Dodger Stadium, when Smalls is telling us what life every character went on to and they're vanishing from the sand lattice. He talks about them.

They're just playing in front of a gaping fucking hole in the backyard. Nobody offers to fix that fence for Mr. Myrtle. What is that acceptable? Horrible neighborhood etiquette, especially when they bonded with it. They could build an erector set, but they can't put the fence back up. Exactly.

It's terrible. It's pretty indefensible. Terrible stuff. All right. Best quote. I mean, you're killing me, Smalls, became the iconic quote from this movie and it still said. I haven't had anything yet. So how can I have some more of nothing?

You're killing me, Smalls. Classic. And it's still a thing. Mal, give us three more. You're limited to three. Okay. I do love the Babe Ruth dream sequence. inspirational pep talk.

Let me tell you something, kid. Everybody gets one chance to do something great. Most people never take the chance either because they're too scared or they don't recognize it when it spits on their shoes. This is your big chance and you shouldn't let it go by. That's a great one. And of course, there's also the heroes and legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die, quote, in that same sequence.

It's a good one. I do love when Mina's least favorite actor, James Earl Jones, is regaling the children with the tales of his life and his glorious achievements. And he says, baseball was life. And I was good at it. I just love that. That could be in the natural, that kind of line. Baseball was life.

And I was good at it. Real good. And then one day, a high fast one and pow, lights went out. It's a good one. Yeah. That's a good one. I'm going to take a while to recover from the James Earl Jones, me and a few. dude.

God. This is my most cancelable take so far. And I guarantee the Ravens victory. I don't know. You did on this very podcast to talk about Benny the Jets' eyelashes. So that's, um. No,

that thing is cancancel. That's going to be cut, so they're going to be confused when you're saying. You're channeling the spirit of your use. Okay. Wait. I have two quotes. Yeah.

Um, that haven't already been brought up. One is one that I did not understand as a child, but understood as an adult, which is when Ham calls Scotty an L7 weenie. Come on, Benny, man. The kid is a L7 weenie. Yeah, yeah.

Oscar Meyer even. Foot long. Dodge your dog. So as a kid, I was like, L7. What is it else? And Google didn't exist then. Not even Alta Vista or dogpiles. I had no way of finding out what an L7 weenie was.

It's a square. L7 weenie. So I enjoyed that. And then I enjoyed the part where they're talking about the beast. And I actually forgot to write down who says it, I assume ham, but maybe someone else. And says, we're clearly dealing with a superior intelligence here. I just thought that was so funny. Great stuff.

I'll just say that being compared to a Oscar Meyer or a Dodger dog or some other delectable culinary delight, I would think that was a compliment for what it's worth. Could this be remade as a 10-episode Netflix show? Well, we do know that Disney Plus is making a movie about with the original cast. I'm fearful. I'll just lay it down there. I think most people will give the first one a chance unless the reviews are terrible, but odds are not great. Probably in answerable questions. Smalls ruining the Babe Ruth ball more or less defensible than Cameron ruining his dad's Ferrari and Ferraris Bueller. If you said that what was a more aggressively hostile act toward a parent? I don't know if this was aggressively hostile. I think it was just foolish and misguided. I don't think Smalls did this because he had ill will in his heart.

I think he's a sweet little guy. I'm like Cameron, who's a terrible son. He was basically the Benendez brothers before we had the Benendez brothers. I, all right, since I've already been canceled twice on this podcast, I agree, and I've never seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Oh. Oh, man. Wow. All right.

That's your homework assignment. Why didn't Betty become a huge star in real life? What was that kid missing? Apparently an empathy gene based on his later arrest. But I don't know because, like I said, he was perfect. Maybe some kids, they just grow into adults and they just lose the magic. Maybe it wasn't what he wanted. Who knows?

Yeah, he became a firefighter, but again, problematic firefighter. But his performance, I thought, was pretty good, too. He's not a bad actor. He's not ham, but he's fine. They're all lost in ham shadow. Ham's blowing everyone else. It's like Joe Pesci and Goodfellas. He's just blowing people off the screen.

What kind of baseball career did Benny the Jet have, Mal? All right. They play 12 seasons, 15 seasons. Like, let's really break this down. I spend so much time thinking about this. and it's hard to figure out because you have kind of the player comp question but also the time frame question.

Like, when are we, where are we in time? So he's coming into baseball early 70s coming out of like the deadball era where if you were an outfielder who could steal some bases, they didn't really care about on base back then. you know, I do think he could have, like maybe he's on the Oakland A's with a 310 on base, but like 50 steals, but he's been thrown out 28 times. And he's like one has one of those kind of careers.

So the announcing that we get in conjunction with the steel of home is they say the Jets lost a step or two. So clearly this is like the end of his career, right? Which makes me think 15 years, right? Last moments of glory. Clearly, then he had longevity and sustainability. Despite that, the comps that I had in mind for the type of player he is, they don't sustain. These players did not sustain their success. I kind of viewed him as like a 2011 Jacoby Ellsbury type or like Grady Seismore before the injury bugs derailed his career.

Like 20 some homers, 30 some steals. That kind of 20 homer 30 steal potential because we know. that he has power. So his nickname, his moniker, the sobriquet, the legend builds up around the speed because of the pickling. But we know that he's a power bat, too. So I don't want to lose sight of that. Brought in to pinch run, can seal home. Clearly his speed is the defining characteristic.

But he could hit homers. He had a power bat. That's why I was confused, because he's brought in a pinch run. Yet then we're also told that he's old, which doesn't quite square. Most of the movie is said in 1962. So even if it's, I guess, the movie came out 93, but even if it's like the 80s, he's probably in his late 30s,

if he was 12 or something at the time. I don't know. I just think if you're a ballplayer and you have that Keith Hernandez-esque mustache, look to you. You've had a long career. There's no question. Like, he still carried himself.

I like the Grady Seismore thing. I was thinking Brady-Iner-Iner-thing, if the mysterious 50 homer, whatever the whole might have happened chemically season hadn't happened. Not sure what you mean. Not sure what you mean. First half of the 90s, Brady Anderson. No, that's a pure and important part of Baltimore Royal's history.

And I'm not sure what you mean. Like he's hitting 290, 13 homers, 29 steals. Yeah. Like one of those. A couple gold gloves, maybe like two or three. Yeah. I read, I don't know how reliable the, the San Lot Wiki is. And again, I don't know what happens in the ensuing installments that counts as legitimate canon. But I did see on his

San Lot Wiki that he went on to manage the Dodgers. Not sure if that's canon. How is that in there? I don't know. It's just in there and there in the wistory. You can, you can put fan fiction on a Wikipedia. Well, I'm going to add my own Benny the Jet also married me to Kimes and people will just think that's how the movie So Bill you mentioned You mentioned Tommy Lassorda But that gets us to another unanswerable question

Yeah Smalls is just up there in Chavez Ravine Calling Games Yeah So I gotta know Is he dead? Yeah What happened to Ben in this scenario?

A little biased He was sick Right A little biased Is he maybe calling games for I don't know Another feed or something, an alternate.

No, he's, he's based there. He had all his, you know, bobblehead. You know what's funny? This was such, I had this written down. This was such an easy fix. You just make him Vince Gawley's partner, and then you get Vince Gully to be in the movie. Vince Gully, he would have been in any movie.

He's in like 10 of them. But you make him like Vince Gowie's... Vin doesn't need a partner, though, you know? And then it's like, I'm here with Bob, blah. And then he can start. Set up Smalls. As always, I'm here with, what was Smalls' his first name? Do we even know?

Scotty. Touch of their similates. Scottie. Scottie Smalls. I had one more, Ben, in the Jet Baseball question, Mal. Because you think 1962, these kids are 12? Well, we know that I don't think they're all 12 because there's the line in the opening where Small says that was like a rough way to wrap up fifth grade. Right.

So that would make him 10. 10 or 11? Well, Benny's older. I mean, he's already, Benny's already gone through puberty, so I'm going 11. 1962, 11. So he gets to the league, let's say, 1973. Okay.

So now, and he's got a 20-year career because the sandlot's in real time. So maybe he's early 40s and his sandlot, whatever. My point is, comes in the league in 73. He's had some real success in the, by 7980s, probably an all-star team. but they didn't know what happens in the early 80s in baseball. Cocaine. It's everywhere. Does Benny the Jet have a couple dark moments?

He's got the mustache. This is an easy one. That's suspicious. Did you see the mustache? Did we think he was in one of the drug scandals? I say yes. I have no evidence at all. I'm going to say no only because we hear so often that baseball was Benny's entire life.

Now, maybe that meant he did anything he needed to to hang on to his youth. to hang on to that sense of possibility. But I think he was just, I mean, in some ways, he was the L7 weenie. Like, he was really the square. Again, I loved Benny when I was a kid, but he just really only thought about one thing ever. And so I think baseball was just such a pure ambition to him

and such a sacred thing that I think he tried to stay clean. That's my hope for Benny. Did he only think about one thing, though? Because if he really only cared about baseball, would he have been so nice to Smalls? I mean, they could have found a knife player anywhere and a guy who knew how to throw a baseball throw back to him.

I feel like he had a real human side to him. I also feel like he definitely did Coke. He came out of it, came out of it, cleaned up, and then ended up on that 1988 Dodgers team that won the World Series. It had a big role down the stretch of her, Hershizer and Gibby. Read it on San Law Wiki.

Good redemption story. This is a tough. fun, who won the movie? Because instinctively, you want to say Benny the Jet. What are you talking about? But I had to be honest, the great Hambino is really overpowering. And I don't know, it's a toss-up. At gunpoint, I'm saying Benny the Jet, but it was closer than I expected.

I'm going with Hammer or Hercules. Wow. Yeah. They're the real standouts, especially on a rewatch. You know, Benny's the thing you long for and you think about when you're you're a young person, but when you return to it as an adult, Ham and Hercules, just stealing scene after scene. They really are.

Easily could have been a spinoff with just the two of them. Oh, surprised. That would have been a better sand lat too. Who do you have, Mina? It's not too late. I'm going to go outside the box, even though it seems like a two-man race. And I'm going to say the sport itself. I had that same.

It's an argument for baseball for baseball's sake, right? And, you know, the kids don't care about winning or losing. And today that's participation, trophy culture. But they really, truly don't care, which is weirdly believable, even though that would, like, seem to be getting so worked up, I'm spitting. It would seem to be, like, unrealistic that not a single one of those kids was like, you know, let's play a game. We're pretty good guys. Like, let's challenge another team once in a while.

But they never do. They're all just happy to play. And, you know, that's sort of the point in the movie. They say it's America's pastime, you know? Well, you knew who I knew she wasn't going to say there, James Earl Jones. That's true. Apparently fell really short in best of the best in this movie for Meena. Bill, what is he good in?

Have you ever heard Darth Vader utter a line, Mina? I find your lack of faith disturbing. I did read some where the kids were really excited because he had just come off playing Darth Vader to meet him, which I found very... Before we go, I rarely do this, but producer Craig, who doesn't like really any of the movies we pick on the rewatchables,

but was out of his mind excited for this one. Craig, big week for you. You're excited. Yeah, one thing I feel like that you guys didn't mention was that this movie created, I would think, a top five or ten Halloween costume of all time for movies. So many people are squints

and Wendy Peppercorn, which may not have aged well. Is that true? Everyone in college. Really? I said a couple. What? Yes, so many people in college are Wendy and Squints for Halloween.

I did not know that. And I am toxic. It's actually huge. Distressed. Just like Google it. Amazing. I had no idea. Yeah.

Because it's really easy to do. They get the glasses. The girl wears it like a red thing. And you have like a wiffle ball bat and you're done. Craig, who won the movie? Benny or Ham. Ham. What was the great Hamino's wrestling career like?

Oh, he definitely was at least. least an intercontinental champion. Might have even been in a WrestleMania pretty high up in the card, but not main event. I think it was strong. Ham stuck with everybody so much. The s'm killing me. He has every iconic line in the whole movie. Yeah.

I'm with Craig. I think Ham wins the movie. All right. That's where we go. Hey, thanks for listening to the rewatchables. Mina, you did like four straight hours of media just now. I'm really proud of you. I didn't know if you're going to hold up, especially on a Monday. I just love this movie. So much, man.

It's great. It just makes me relive things. You know, there are heroes and legends. Mallory, I'm very proud of the restraint you showed in various points in the podcast. I thought it was a new, more mature side of you. I'll be releasing the director's cut with my other 47 pages of notes. Craig, thanks, as always. You can check the rewatchables on Wednesday because we're coming back with Teen Wolf.

So you got two days to watch that one. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to listen to the Ring of Podcast Network. Mina, anything to plug before we go. Just my podcast, Mina Kime Show featuring Lenny. It's a football show.

I've never been invited, but I heard it sounds good. And then your new ringer, your ESPN NFL show too. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be on NFL live starting in mid-August. Check it out.

Assuming there's a football season. Knock on wood. All right. Thanks, everybody. This is fun.