The Rewatchables - ‘Toy Soldiers’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt sneak down to the basement for a shot of mouthwash before rewatching the 1991 action film ‘Toy Soldiers,’ starring Sean Astin, Wil Wheaton, and Louis Gossett Jr. Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So visit Spectrum.com slash business to learn more. restrictions apply, services not available in all areas. The rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer podcast network, where a few times a year we bring in this guy, Kyle Brandt, to break down some Oscar winners from the 80s and 90s, and I don't even think we've done the 2000s. This is the worst one we've done yet. I can't wait.

Toy Soldiers is next. Terrorists just took over their school. The students have no weapons. Do you with me or not? Cush with you. And no way out. We'll get everybody killed. It's too late to back out now.

The only chance they've got. We're really going to do this? We bet. Is each other. Toy Soldiers, rated R. Starts Friday at a theater near you. All right, Kyle Brandt is here. We keep up in the bar when we do these.

We've got Seagal. We've done Stall. We've done Stall. We've done Stolone. We've done Schwarzenegger. Not a lot of Aston yet for us. I think this is the first one. But super excited.

How you feeling? Bill, I mean, I'm feeling great. I got to tell you, I'm a little bit fucked up right now. I had a little mouthwash before we started. So, like, I'm flying with Eagles, baby. It's good stuff. That is a classic boarding school trick. The, uh, replace the mouthwashment.

I was like they moved that one in there. That's incredible. This was the diehard in a blank era. Yep. Which we've covered in other pods. Die hard hits in 88. They start trying to figure out what other locations can we do die hard in. Toy Soldiers merges the die hard concept with,

Dead Poets Society. I don't know how they do it. The unintentional comedy is out of control I watched with my wife last night. She was just like, are they, do they know they're doing this stuff intentionally? I'm like, no, that's the beauty of toy soldiers. Will Wheaton is like, you know, I think maybe I'll use a New York Mafioso accent. They're like, you go, Will, you do your thing. This movie has aged even better than I expected. I watch it every couple years. But what is it about this movie that just has made it age so well in 2023. Look, the formula's great. It's dead post society meets diehard with a healthy dose of red dawn.

And then it's like, here's the thing, though, it's an R which really earns its R rating. And it's got so many things that a growing boy needs. You got violence, sex, profanity, masturbation, drinking, smoking, just a little bit of sports. And in the final act of this, you've got the army, you have the drug cartel, and you have the mafia showing up as well in this critical post-goodfellas, pre-sopranos window. And then the Sean Ashton piece of it is massive. We all grew up in one way with Aston, and we get to find out, like, imagine if Rudy, instead of being a working class dork was a privileged dick, and Aston kind of kills it. Ashton kills it. And the distance between

Toy Soldiers and Rudy feels like it's about 12 years. It does. It's two. Really, it's like two. But he, I don't know how they cast this movie. I don't know if they moved everybody kind of closer to his height or what they did, but he really does seem Bruce Willis seeing this movie. Dare I say, I think he's kind of great in this movie.

I think he is the full leading man. He's driving Humvees, dude. He's fighting guys. He is ripped. The Willis thing actually is spot on because he's got like the same amount of chest hair. He wears the tank top at one point. He even has the sleeveless frayed gene jacket. He looks like he's in double dragon. Like, Aston is good here. And I can't believe there's not been an Aston rewatchable. As you know, I listen to every episode. This is the first one, and there's a lot to talk about

with them. That's true. We have not done the Goonies and we have not done Rudy. I think Rudy's happening at some point this year. I think he does a lot in a movie that if he's not good, this movie immediately is just destined to not even cable. It's on like, it's on Fubo or Tube or whatever. Fubibibu. Is it Fubi and Tubo or vice versa?

But it's just, and it may be some Pluto. But I think this was on HBO and Cynamax and TNT for, I'm going to say 12 years. Yeah. And this is when it's the rewatchability of this movie that you really start picking up stuff.

Like the villain, who I know we're going to talk about. Like the cast of character there's a guy named Yogurt who has, he might have just been like the director's kid or somebody they pulled in who was an extra and they gave lines, who's prominently involved in major scenes, who's never seen again.

And I've always liked boarding school movies. What is it about like Senate of a Woman, Dead Poets Society, you name it. I like being in the boarding school. It's like a confined place. It's happy. It's outdoors. Class was another one with Roblo.

I just like being in that world. I did too, and I wasn't in it. I went to massive, massive public high school. My window into boarding school with school ties and dead poets and all those things. And it always just feels like they're having a good time and they're constantly busting balls and they got that kind of loose tie. They got a study for this test, but like, screw it. Like, let's just go find beer and like find the woman. There's always this dick professor and let's go mess with them. And I do think this movie, because they have the R rating, they get to do things that other boarding school movies can't.

like their little banter as a crew is so blue and so R-rated. And it's like there's at one point when they're sneaking through the hole to go into the secret basement. And one of them's like, hey, speaking of holes, anybody have a sister? And you're like, damn, that's the least subtle thing I've ever heard. Like, no, but I do have your mom's number. And it's just, it's wild. And it seems like you get to go to college before you get to go to college. Like they get to go to college twice.

I always kind of been jealous. Yeah, there's like a prequel aspect to this where I, totally would have wanted to see a couple soccer games and maybe a school dance and just and maybe somebody goes home with somebody for Thanksgiving. There's, there's an hour that could have done as as deleted scenes. Really good premise, by the way, for this movie is as cheesy and ridiculous as it is. But like, I kind of believed it. You have a Colombian drug lord. He gets taken and he gets extradited to America. His son is pissed off about it. He wants revenge. He knows the judge's son is at this boarding school. He's like, let's go in, we'll take,

we'll grab the kid, and now we have something to bargain with. Kids not there because they get rid of the kid because there's, you know, Lou Gossett, headmaster, think it ahead. But then he's like, ah, I got some other heavy hitters here. Maybe I'll use these kids as the bargaining chips. I've never seen more files just combed through and hand it over to a leader. It's like, Who's this kid? And the guy, Michael, Michael Champion, just has every file at his disposal right there at the right page. But I believe the premise. You're in, right?

Oh, way in. And I'm not sure why there's one American guy amongst the group. I think maybe they just need someone who's good at filing. I don't even know if that guy's a terrorist. He might be just a receptionist or like a temp. Because he's constantly hitting them. He's like, history of asthma. I got it right here on line five document.

He's been the infirmary three times. Like, I think that guy might be a receptionist. But we're going to dress this up, Bill, because people are going to want to belittle this movie. There's some real important things going on. You were just mentioning, there's this beautiful poetic thing where you have these preppy, like, privileged kids, and a lot of them seem to hate their dads. And they're being held hostage by someone who's doing it for the love of his father. Like, Luis Khali is a terrible dirtbag, but he loves his dad, man. He was going to do it all for his dad.

There's a lot of things that work. And out of nowhere, when you think, all right, I think I get this. movie, you know, in swings Jerry Orbach just collecting a check to be the mob leader. And you're like, we have mafia stuff here. It's this movie rules. Yeah, he was a real actor back in the day. Well, we had history with a couple of the kid actors, too, right? Ashton has the Goonies. Everybody knows who he is by the time this movie comes out. And it comes out, I think, 91. Then Keith Coogan, he'd bounced around. He'd been in a bunch of things. He ends up, he's an adventure and babysitting eventually. But he's, he had a nice.

little run there. And then Will Wheaton, who was in Stand By Me, which is we've already done on the rewatchable as one of the great kids movies. But now it's a different Will Wheaton. And when you talk about the legacy of Toy Soldiers and the reasons, like top five reasons I love this movie, everything Will Wheaton is doing in this movie is just fantastic. And I don't think for the reasons he thinks, I'm sure there's some choices he'd take back. First of all, this dangling cross-eering on the left ear, which I think was supposed to be edgy in 1991. You want to talk about the accent? Let's go.

Is it like he saw an Andrew Dice Clay comedy special and was just like, that's what I'm going to do right here? Like, why didn't anyone talk him out of it? I have some research on this later. Really? But I just, his name's Will Wheaton. I mean, he looks like he should have been like one of the kids in the breakfast club.

What made them think he was going to pull off Joe Hitchie? Trotto with a mafioso accent. Yeah, there's one scene where he goes, hickory dickory doc, the terrorist went up the clock, oh! And he smokes a cigarette over his head. And what's great about the accent, you can do a bad accent. It's fine. It happens all the time.

Yeah. What really makes it bad is the inconsistency. And when you dial it up to 11 out of 10 a few times, like, come on, we can get a gun, we can take these terrorists. Like, dude, that's not the same guy in the last scene. Where are you going with this reason? But he did his best, I guess.

I don't know why he was cast other than he's a likable guy. And I don't want to split hairs here, Bill, but I know that people will scream at us. I believe the earring, which I consider like the third lead of this movie after Aston and Gaza. I believe it's an onk, which is like, I don't think it's the Barry Bonds Cross. I think it's an onk. And it's one of my favorite parts of the whole movie. I would rewatch it just to watch the earring. I found a long feature about this movie that had a lot of details.

God only knows what's true. but I'm going to read from it. Wheaton threw himself into the role. He prepared by creating an autobiography for his character and also rented all the Godfather movies. He also attempted to give Joey a New York accent a request from director Daniel Petrie. And Wheaton said, this is the actual quote.

I was only 18 and didn't think to actually study up on a specific one. So I just did what sounded right in my head. mission accomplished imagine what you thought especially if you're not if you're from California or something what you think in New York accent is at 18 it's just like you said it's the stupid

cartoonist dice clay oh hey and it's not so he's watching like the Colmenza scene and the godfather he's like why don't you tell that girl you love her and he's like oh I'll write that down so anyway

they needed him because he was a recognizable name I'm not sure that's the part he should have played. We also have, I really like the crew. The other two guys, I don't think have been seen again. We have the black guy's good. And then the guy who's like Mario Lopez turned it down six days before the shoot and they had to scramble and get somebody else that kind of looked like it.

He's just in a tank top and underwear with a very serious look on his face for two hours. And I like him. I'm in on him. He's got cool hair. He's got a cool look. He spends most of the movie in his panties. And like he kind of just does the thing. I will say for the guy, I don't remember the character's name, the black guy.

Like, I bet he was laughing at Will Wheaton's unc earring when the wardrobe guy gave it to him. And the wardrobe guy's like, wait until you see your glasses, dude. Why don't you put these on it? They're just as bad. Yeah, the reason we can't remember his name is, I'm not positive they ever said his name. I guess his name was Hank. Don't know. Do you ever remember them saying the name Hank?

No, they're not. The names I remember are Billy and Yogurt. I think, I think yoga were the only one. And Joey Trada, don't forget the great Joey Trada. Yeah, so that was Hank. And then the other guy was Ricardo. I guess they said him because the bad guy said him. Let's talk about the bad guy.

Okay, let's go. So Louise Callie, he's dipping into a couple different bad guys, right? There's just a little, there's a hint of Thomas Ian Griffith, Carat Kid 3, stealing that. He's pulling that over. Is that Terry Silver? Yeah, Terry Silver. Okay, I got them. There's a little, like,

watch Scarface a couple times and tried to craft a character out of maybe some people, Robert Loge's crew. Yeah. And then other than that, a lot of freelancing from our guy, Andrew Davali, who I'm pretty sure is not Colombian. I'm more, the last time we talked about,

we did sudden death. Yeah. And we did a scale for villains. and I had Toy Soldiers guy as a 1 out of 10 for the scale and I had Powers Booth as a 3. I think I'm going to flip that. I think I'd like him more than Power's Booth. I thought he had some moments.

Yeah, the unintentional comedy pieces with him, there was no unintentional comedy with Powers Booth. I think this guy I'm going to jump him. So now I have Powers Booth as a 1 out of 10, Passenger 57 guy is a 2 out of 10, and I think Toy Soldiers is a 3. What was your list? I know you're working on it.

You want me to go from 10 down or 1 up? Let's go from one up. Go from one up so we get the drama. I got a choice so just got one. Okay, make the case. Why was he the worst? All right. He messes up the fundamental thing and what you got to do here. So in the Hans Grubber formula, you got four chapters that you got to hit. You got chapter one is the entrance, which he nails. He's very violent opening scene. You know he means business. Chapter two I'll come back to. Chapter three is when the plan isn't going right. Then I have to pivot and it's blow the roof and all that. He's good at that. And chapter four is that. final battle when the good guy kills you. He's good at that. Chapter two, though, is the most important. That's when you got the ballroom and it's time to dance. That's intimidation time. Yes, it's usually the first time you're speaking to the hostages. Here's what I'm about. Here's what's going to happen. You think of Hans Gruber's, ladies and gentlemen, and he's like, oh, cool. This guy is talking to some terrified kids and the acting is bad. The thing that we keep

talking about where he screams at the end of sentences. I think he totally whiffs on chapter two, which is the most important chapter. I think the other problem is that he raises this voice out of nowhere and you don't know when to expect that he's going to do it. You have seen these orange wires running

throughout this building and outside. These are wired to explosives. If any one of these wires is cut, the explosives will go off automatically. If any of the individual explosives are tampered with, they will explode! So, don't touch the wires.

It's like Austin Powers is making fun of. If you touch the bombs, they look like, oh, that was fun for one scene. And then at the end of the movie, it's a, it's a, I told you what would happen if one of you escaped. I told you what would happen if one of you escaped? Did you think I was kidding? So, that's him. So he's my two. Well, he also, I got to say he does pull off the,

I'm going to punish you, Sean Astin, for not reporting back for the counter 92 in time. With the antenna or that pointer. Yeah. There's a split second there where you start getting worried. It's going to be a scene from Oz. Because Sean Asking is thrown on the table. It's like, what's going to happen here?

But now he's just going to hit him with a metal rod. But it is, I was frightened there for a split second. Well, we got our rating. We can do whatever we want. Like you can make him sadistic too, but thank God. He just whips the crap out of him. So let me fly through it. So I got sudden death.

I got three with our guy Powers Booth. Number four, I have speed two with Willem Defoe, who puts leeches on his body. Five, I have Speed One with Dennis Hopper. Six, I have cliffhanger with John Lithgow, which we've also done together and rewatchables. Seven, I got under siege, Tommy Lee Jones. Eight, I got General Hummel on the Rock. Our guy, Ed Hart, amazing. And then number nine, the closest thing I think, Bill, to Gruber,

Gary Oldman, Air Force One, is an absolute maniac and terrifying and scared the crap out of me watching that movie. And I think he would have killed the guy's daughter if Harrison Ford doesn't tell him to make a call. That's my scale. That's a really good one. Thank you. And Rickman is 10. Rickman's 10. Yeah, Gruber's 10.

I think Tommy Lee Jones and under siege is my nine. He's great. He's great. It's really good. It was such a nice Tommy Lee Jones. run there for a couple years. I don't know if you've seen the fugitive or have heard about it.

It's a Harrison Ford movie. We're in Chicago. Just marveling at Tommy Lee Jones in that movie. Like just a nothing part. He's amazing. That's the same direction. That's how he got it. You know, the Air Force One, or rather,

the under siege, Andrew Davis, I love this guy. I'm doing this movie called The Fugitive. You've got to be Gerard. It's the best. I'm higher on Lithgow and Cliffhanger than you. And I'm a little higher on Hopper. and speed only because of the running part when he has to run and it's like his body just gets

weird when he slips around corners. I don't know how they had to edit that. I'm not sure his legs worked. But I think that's a pretty fair list for the most part. So you have Toy Soldiers guy as the worst. Yeah, the worst. I just like I dislike Powers Boot the most. He does have that one part at the end when it's falling apart when the plane doesn't work and he does that kind of like, And I don't know if that worked or if it was the worst thing he did in the movie. And I'm still debating it 32 years later. I like that you're taking up for Powers. In all the episodes you and I have done, Bill, there's been two people, two characters

we've not liked that people have given me shit for on the street. They said we were too hard on Powers Booth. And then ironically, they said we were too hard on Booth and Teen Wolf. So it was Booth and Booth. And I'm like, I'm not a Booth fan. Oh, wow. Pamela. I don't care.

I'm not in the Booth hive. What was the case for Booth and Teen Wolf just out of curiosity? I think she's grown next door, likable, and she's smart and cute, and I'm like, that's great. I'm here for Pamela. That's who I want in the closet. Yeah. Sorry. I'm going to go never seen, when you're never seen again as an actor, probably a bad sign for

how he did the movie. So this movie was based on a book. Are you aware of this? No, not really. A 1988 novel by William P. Kennedy, which now I'm going to have to get on eBay, I think. I have no other recourse. Orion bought the film. It's directed by Daniel Petrie,

who had done, he had produced some stuff. And I think he had written one of the Beverly Hills Coppals. The first one. Yeah. $10 million budget. It made $15 million.

Hmm. But probably a lot and rewatchable. I don't, I don't remember buying this on DVD because it was always on. So I don't, I don't think I ever actually spent real money on it until the Amazon rental last night.

some disappointing news from our guy Roger Ebert, though. One star. What's it got? Hey, Craig, how many times have we done a one-star movie on the rewatchables? This is less than four, right? Yeah, easily. I can't remember a one. I think this might be the first one.

It's very possible. He said, since the plot of the movie is utterly predictable, we hope at least for some cleverness in the gimmicks. here the movie is so disappointing that I wonder if the screenwriters were really trying. First of all, that's a personal attack. I felt like some of the scenes were actually pretty well written. And you know what, Raj?

Nobody wants your snooty. You know, this movie wasn't good enough for you. It's a little too reminiscent diehard. Obviously, Aston didn't connect with them at all. I don't know how my feelings were hurt. Yeah, Rod, you saw them yogurt switching the microchips to turn a nuclear bomb into an airplane? No, get out of here.

You didn't see that shit, Rod. rest in peace what about you got the mafia and the columbians and the fbi i'm i'm left cold where's my popcorn all right so we are going to do the most rewatchable scene it's brought to by the home depot every great movie goes big whether it's a heart swelling love story or mind-bidding mystery or a nail-biting adventure and home depot wants to help you go big this holiday season i like going big on holiday seasons with festive outdoor decor snatch up bigger bowl on inflatibles and your favorite characters at great values along with some classic decor done a new ways. Shop now. Give yourself the gift of a stress-free holiday season with the Home Depot. There's nothing bigger than that. Visit

Home Depot.com to learn more. When do you think Toy Soldiers was set? What part of the calendar year? Soccer, so maybe like October, early October range? Yeah, I think the season, the school year is pretty new. So I think it's mid-October, autumnal, almost like where we're sitting right now in late September, we're in this. What's the soccer team's record? maybe like four and two? Listen, based on that guy's kicked in time with Sean Ashton breaking the glass on a very, very plus shot,

I think they're five and one. I think they have a star striker, five and one. Yeah, okay. Most rewatchable scene. Yeah. I just wrote down, Billy's gang has a mouthwash basement party. Let's go.

This better not be mouthwash. Trust me. Trust me. Asshole, this is mouthwash. No, it's not. It tastes like mouthwash what the hell is? four parts 100 proof vodka two parts peppermint

for that mouthwash flavor and one part cream to mint to make it green that's the beauty of this concept it looks and smells and taste just like mouthwash we can keep liquor in plain sight in our dorms right and the best part I sold eight bottles of this stuff for 35 bucks a piece we're rich no you is a genius

we learned about the rules of prep school etiquette they kind of gave up on this bit but we did learn wait until you're rem it falls asleep to jerk off and don't fart in a basement with no windows. Two decent things to know, but they could have kept going for longer that. We also get Lou Gossa Jr. and Oscar winner tapping into the phone and overhearing phone sex and making a disturbed Lou Gosser Jr. face. This scene's really fun.

It's a really fun four minutes. I'm wearing black lace bra and panties. Would you let me to take my bra? Yes. Yes, please. I got some thoughts on Lou Gosser picking up the phone for later. It also starts with that cool device where Aston bangs on the radiator and that signals his friends

before cell phones. Like that was kind of cool. Yeah. But like you get down there and they he's got booze and there and you're like, all they're just going to drink in the basin. That's funny. He's like, no, now it's time for the entertainment. And then he hacks the phone line. Of all the like the great parties, Bill, like the weird science party and the Teen Wolf Party like I respect what these school ties boys are doing down there in the basement. That's like that's a really and they're smoking

sigs and busting balls. I love that. hang and I want that drink so bad. Yeah, dead poets, they go to a cave. Yeah. School ties, they basically just like danced in the shower or whatever the hell they did. This was easily the best boarding school hang. And a really important because it kind of established all the relationships. You could see a little give and take, but I enjoyed that part.

Next one. I mean, nothing better than the roll call. Let's go. Come on. After the hostages has been taken. We get Louis Cala versus Joey Trada. Immediately. It's like, okay, let's go.

This is Hagler-Herns. What are two of the best actors we have? We get him asking Ricardo if he speaks Spanish, and he says no. And then he says, put a bullet in him in Spanish. And he's like, no, no, no, wait, wait. So tell me, Ricardo, are you a Mexican? Mexican-American. They speak Spanish.

No, not really. Sackalo by four and make to speak Spanish. No, wait! Wait, what? You don't speak Spanish. I'm sorry. I do speak a little Spanish. I thought you didn't speak Spanish.

I speak a little. Bang! It's good. Great stuff. Then Ricardo gets kicked, and we get Billy immediately trying to get to, like, the terrorists, which, like the hockey fighter being pulled back by the three referees. There's a lot of good stuff happening.

in the scene. It's great and it establishes all the characters and it sets up the Wheaton I hate my father thing later in the thing and it's tense as hell. I just listen if I'm being completely honest I this is when you know I gave the guy at two on the gruber scale. I wish

it was a little more. I don't feel like they're that scared of him. These kids would be terrified. As he's not scared at all. I feel like you just dial it up a little bit. Yeah there's at least cut a finger maybe that's a move like take an earlobe he's got it's hard to be scared when there's not a lot of physical threats and your henchman your

your main guy is basically like an accountant he looks like he's like in backstage at the oscars about to hand somebody the best supporting actor he's got i couldn't help to think bill as i'm watching like you got you got r lee ermie just sitting there on set like in the director's chair could be just like let's take five and r lee take us through and like your father's chairman of the republican reserve bullshit i bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose like You got to give it to him here. Like coach him up a little bit. It's a little underwhelming.

I think if they could have taken our notes, I also would have had the sniveling crying kid, basically like Fresh Fish and Shawshank. Oh. I would have had the one like crying ninth grader. And it seems like our guy, Louis Callie's going to come over to see if he's all right. But instead he like makes it worse and humiliates him.

It definitely needs like two more things like that. How's that horse mind doing? Dad. Yeah, we need one. It's like that. It just can't make the first night. Perfect. They kind of gloss over the phone booth teacher getting shot, too.

Executed. We have a murder there. Like pull that guy in and bring him in the middle of the room and be like, remember this guy? Your social shot his teacher? Yeah. This is what happens if you fuck with him. Too much homework. Do I get an A in his class now?

Next scene, Will Whitten, which I sent you and Craig this video last night when this is, he, Wilming decides to get a little mafia on the crew, right? Here's what we got to do. We got to do the, we got to do the... Craig will play the clip. So we make some noise and we get him in here. And then we jump him.

Then what? Billy, he's got a fucking machine gun. With a fucking machine gun, we can shred these fuckers. And then his buddy makes the, makes a, oh, I guess it does running the family joke.

You know, this machine gun stuff must run in mafia families. You're sort of a bitch. Joey! Ow! Joey! Come on. That was a joke, okay? I'm your friend.

I can call you a fucking laugh if I want to. And Wheaton jumps over. Yep. And kind of jumps him and then throws like a series of one inch punches at him that I can't believe they didn't do a retake. He's not punching him. He's not slapping. him. I don't, his arms are moving in the way a punch might go, but it doesn't look like that

a while. And then they pull him off. It's like, ah, you got to get him off. He's going to kill him. Yeah. And it's, and his hands are just kind of tapping his hips. It's one of the weirdest scenes, I think, in the 90s. They pull them off like it's, it's a UFC guy hammer fisting someone into death, whereas the punches are so pathetic. One of two things happened, Bill. Either it was the end of a long day of shooting and they're like, we got a rap. Or they did many takes and that's the best that they got them. But you're right. It's one inch little rabbit punches and they're like, whoa, Tyson's in the stands punching people. It was, it's not like that. I can't believe they do another take and I can't believe the guy that Keith Kogan, the guy that he jumps. I can't believe it's like, well,

just it's okay. You can punch me in the arms. Like, you can throw a couple. The whole thing is great. I love that it establishes his hot Italian temper that's going to circle back later, just in general, great stuff. Next one, I mean, this is great. Billy escaping is just great stuff. This alone should have gotten a half star from Raj. This at least pulled it to one and a half.

Nothing better than the guy trying to time the escape with the two bodyguards and the guns and waiting and then like basically running for your life. Like, how is that not a great two minutes, Roger Ebert? Come on. think it's also something there's a sweetly, sadly authentic about it is that when he gets that gun,

he's got the drop on the guy who's going to shoot him and he can't handle it and it goes up in the air and that's how it would go. When Willing dies, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, that's just how it would go. So Billy escapes gets jumped by the dude with the

whatever, the guy called a gilly suit. Like, you're talking about the army guys? Yeah, for some reason they're there like anybody's going to even come out that way. Yeah. And then he's got to convince them that he's got to go back within, and we get the shower thing.

There's just a lot of suspense there for 10 minutes. I think my favorite part, though, is that Gossett, who's like, this kid's the biggest fuck up in our school. He's been kicked out of three schools. All he's done is bust my balls, give us shit, et cetera, et cetera. And then he tells the FBI like, no, no, if it's Billy, I trust him. It's like, what? What do you mean?

Because he sold some mouthwash to some ninth graders. Right. Now he's earned your trust in a hostage. crisis. That's a big part of the diehard formula is there's always someone on the outside who's like, no, no, no, I got a feeling about this guy. Like that's, that's Al Powell talking about McLean. Like, I think he's a badge. Like, I remember it also in Passenger 57, there's Tom Seismore's in it, and he's on the ground and they're making all these plans. And he goes, whoa, whoa, hold on. That's John Carter on that airplane. Like, he can handle this. Like, they always stick up for him.

But then this point is like a 16-year-old idiot. And he's like, he's got guts. I think he can pull it off. Really? No, that's Philly. He sold eight bottles of mouthwash for 35 bucks. This guy can pull this up. Somehow he makes it back, does the shower thing, and then gets a red ball put in his mouth and gets molested by Lewis Kelly. Next one I have, Joey doesn't want to leave.

We pull Mafia-Columbian deal. They're going to pull Will Wheaton's character out of the boarding school. He doesn't want to go. Doesn't want to leave his friends. And then what happens the next two minutes is one of the funniest. moments of the movie. For some reason, he surprised attacks the guy

is taking about. Does like a big heavy chop. It's like, judo chop! He does the Austin Powers, hits him with the gun. And then doesn't seem to have a plan and just kind of runs out like Rambo? And does the thing

and then shoots up in the air as he gets shot to death. What was he thinking? What's happening here? Well, it starts off with, I think my favorite five-second into the movie and it is some real rewatchable as the action is the juice where you're in

close up on Wheaton and it's fuck my father and fuck you and he kills that line. Why me? Because we respect your father. Fuck my father and fuck you. Like that's why we hired Wheaton

but he kills that line and then he's just going to go, he's just going to like commando the whole thing. He's going to kill every terrorist. We're going to disarm them and he can't even get off one shot and it's just gone. It's a tough moment. Can I give you a rewrite suggestion? Yeah.

Like maybe he kills one of the guys and, like, there's a way that seems 90 seconds longer, and we're kind of thinking he might be able to pull this off versus how pathetic it ends up being. Yeah. A little hope. Yeah, so what happened with Joey Trada? Well, stole a gun and just immediately got shot to death

within like two seconds. I mean, he had a better shot at that guy. That guy wasn't even looking. And he fires like three bullets at him before the guys even firing back. I don't know. I felt like they did Wheaton kind of wrong in that scene. Yeah, he didn't need like an 80-yard touchdown, but like he can move the chains a few times, you know? Yeah, give a couple first down.

Maybe he clips the guy and then they jump them. Like, it's, it was really, it's a sad death, though. Like, it really is like, oh, damn. And he's lying there on the steps like that and they close his eyes, which is another action movie throw. But I would have liked to see him at least. get one, one skin on the wall. It's, it basically was a Zach Wilson scene.

He's just scrambling to the right and throwing out of bounds and then finally takes the sack for the safety and you're like, ah, couldn't you have let him scramble for like eight yards? One other part I love with this scene is the, our guy Hank, now that we know his name. Hank holding back Billy. Oh, yeah. Putting his hand over his mouth for some reason.

Uh-huh. Which, and he's just swinging him in the air with his hand with his mouth like, why are you covering his mouth? How is that going to help things? But that part is pretty funny. As a parent, Bill, my kids are pretty young. Sometimes my son will do that to my daughter if she's talking back to us because he doesn't want her to get in trouble.

And he knows she's going to put his hand over his mouth. He thought that Billy was going to say some shit that was going to get him shot. Yeah, maybe. Smart. Maybe Hank. Hank wins this whole movie. I'm a big thing. You like Hank.

Billy's switching the chips coming out of. I always love it. This is another action movie trope. Go on. When people can crawl through the ceilings and they're just like perfectly, it looks like the maid was in there like the day earlier, just dusting everything out. There's no spider webs. There's no rats.

There's no rat shit. It's perfectly lit. I just don't know where events exist like that in real life. But in action movies, you can always just like, all right, we'll go right here. And you just have a lot of light. You know exactly where to drop down. And I like watching guys. 140 years old.

It probably riddled with asbestos and rat shit and all that, but it's pristine. Pristine. Like the maid crew is there the night before. I like when people dangle from ceilings or then have to climb back up. Because I think it's a little harder than maybe the movies give it credit for. I think I'm like 50-50. I'd be able to pull it up. Well, he looks good doing it.

It begs the question at like a different conversation, Bill. Like, what kind of athlete are we dealing here with Aston? Like, we know the Rudy piece of it. But like when he jumps up, it's definitely not a stunt double. He looks strong and spry. Like, I'm really impressed with the guy. Yeah, well, he also, the running scene was impressed by the running. I thought like he actually looked Tom Cruise level, like, legitimately fast.

Running, sliding, diving, getting up through water. Like, I think As well. Yeah, the sliding was good. Pretty good. Driving, driving the Humvees? Yeah, man, let's go, Sean. I didn't know you had that in you. Would Rudy have been more fun for you if it was just Billy Tepper

as Rudy, they merged the two movies, and Billy Tepper went to Notre Dame and became the first guy. It would be great. And maybe he ends up going there after he doesn't get kicked out of his fourth prep school. It might, the expanded Rudy world

may come together. It would have been a lot more fun. I think that's a better movie. The ending, the model plane, the motto playing going off is fun in the reaction. But then the ending's pretty good, too. The Where's Billy?

It's another thing I like in these movies. Where is he? Where is he? No, he's going to run from the back. There he is. Oh, group hug. And then the movie just ends. We don't have that last scene of, you know,

Billy in class two days later or him trying to pull some last thing over Lou Goss at nothing. We're just done. Helicopter shot. We're out. So what was your favorite scene? I like any time there's a roll call and they're lined up and you come out. And the way that he hits them with what their parents do and their parents always do really

impressive stuff. And you can see him getting a bigger, bigger idea. And then some of them are kind of ashamed of their parents. I love that scene. But I will say that thing about that device, you talk about the writing of this movie, that device about if one of you leaves five of you die, if two of you leaves 10 of you die.

I remember being genuinely sweaty palm terrified when I was younger watching this movie that he wasn't going to get back in time. Right. No, you're right. That's a good call. The roll call, I'm trying to think how they could have extended it made it better.

We could have this sniveling kid. I would have liked to have heard a couple more jobs of the dads. I know. Those jobs were great. Was there like a Channel 4 sports anchor? This is set in like Virginia? Like that was George Michael's sports machine? Was his son there? I love that show.

The Redskins GM at the time, like his son. Like I just would have left here more. I could have got 20 more jobs. Yes. Your father hosts Jim Roma's Burning on ESPN. He has takes. He has his final burn. Stand over here.

Like just anybody from sports. It would have been great. your father is George Michael, the George Michael. Not the singer, not the singer, but he pushes giant button and plays highlight Mike Madano. My, my, my, your father's Warner Wolf. My favorite as well as Billy escapes. So that's it.

Once again, today's most watchable scene brought to by the Home Depot. Finish the movie marathon. That is your holiday season prep with the help of the Home Depot. They've got everything you need to add some joy to your home. with outdoor decor like bold inflatables and your favorite characters of great values give yourself the gift of a stress-free holiday season with the home depot a grand finale if there ever was one visit home depot dot com to learn more when do you get your tree just out of curiosity uh the day after thanksgiving we go to a lot you're a day after thanksgiving guy oh yeah love it

I want to be a day after Thanksgiving guy, but I feel like I'm a Sunday night if the Sunday night football is not good guy. And then I'll go with my wife, but if the game's good, maybe she's just so long. What are going to get to tree? Well, Panthers, the Texans are on Sunday night,

so let's go then. Let me check the schedule. All right, what's age the best? Any movie that starts in Baranquia, Colombia, I'm in. Let's go. Come on. Like, you just showing me that graphic. I'm like, good, done. What else is going to happen?

throwing judges out of helicopters, I've been in for a long time. Just a fun device to watch anyone getting thrown out of a helicopter. I think Scarface maybe was the Neil Armstrong of it, but in general, the bad guy, hey, come on in the helicopter and then knowing somebody's going to get tossed out.

I like seeing the judge outfit, though, really pushed it over the time. The guy flying with the judge cape. We mentioned this, but that they will explode. A kid named yogurt. We have that. I wrote down Will Whitten's accent,

earring, and general demeanor. The score is really good in this movie. My wife pointed it out. Great score. Solid. I think it's like a B plus. Yeah, and it has to be because there's no music.

I don't know what you have coming up for needle drop. There's really no pop music at all. I punted on it. Yeah. I also thought for what's age the best, there's some good gyrating shooting victim stuff in here where the bullets, when the guys do the jerk up and down with their hands up. Like, I really thought they put some TLC into that.

I like the plan to figure out where the terrorists are that our big six put together with coloring and maps and portraits and just really elite. Like, you know, this school got a bad rap. It was the Regis school, which would be called the Reject School. I don't know. I was impressed by the kids. Don't you think when the FBI and the Army got that folder, they were probably like, holy shit.

Look at this. This is our whole battle. I heard this guys. They're walking the park. Wow. It's really impressive. I like, if we expelled you, that would make four prep schools in four years.

You try them for the Guinness Book of World Records? I feel like that specific line has been in like seven action movies that we like. You try and be next to those two fat twins on the mopeds and the guy who we even. metal and the fingernails lady what else do you have for what stage the best phone sex lines yeah listen it's the worst in some ways but it's the best if you're listening and you weren't alive back in the day these commercials would come on or you'd see in the newspaper and it was like one 900 not 800 and it'd be like 399 first minute 99 it's additional minute and everybody tried to call it and if you were smart you would be sleeping over at your friend's house and

you go into his guest room and use their phone so it didn't show up on your parents phone bill. And it's like there's a woman there and it's probably a sad story. She's probably got kids to feed and stuff. But she started asking what your name is. And like it was, we didn't have anything on our phone. There was no erotica, pornography, none of that. Maybe a playboy. And then if you were really crazy, dial the phone sex line and they did it. They had the playboy under the mattress. Oh yeah. Can I ask you guys a question about the phone sex? Go on. Yeah. What's up with, I don't think kids do this anymore. I never did it. What's up with people doing it as like in a group?

All right. Well, was that a thing back in the day where you guys like looking at playboys and on phone sex lines as a group? Like, I don't really understand that. There was a lot of groups enjoying pornography back then that. Yeah, why? What's up with that? Well, because it was a communal experience. There wasn't a lot of porn.

So you shared it. It was like a buffet. Craig. But you weren't, you know, participating in anything. No, no. You were just watching. It was just, it was just interesting. Bill, isn't it fascinating?

this must be so strange for Craig. I had that he said, what age is the worst, porn with your buddies. I promise you, Craig. Someone got a VHS tape and you would go in the basement and like five guys

we would just sit there and watch hardcore porn. And then what? It is. And then, listen, if I'm being honest. Then you'd put in like Commando. You put in Commando or like

sometimes Craig, like some of the guys would sneak off. And I'm telling you, you'd get weird. That's where I was asking it last night. It struck me because it's been a while because I'm like, this is a place day,

a full basement, just a bus. owners. Like, what's the next stage of this party? That's how desperate everybody was to see a nipple. That's what the 80s and 90s were like. It's just the way it was. Sorry, Craig. All right, thanks, guys. You can't judge. The Big Kahuna Burger Award for best use of food or drink.

Spitting in the sandwiches always gets me. Yeah, and they do it. We got a casino. They do it. The spitting in the sandwich. But, I mean, I got to go. I got to go with the drink in the basements. We got four parts of 100-proof vodka, which is wild. I mean, Tito's is 80-proof. Two-part schnapps, one part creme de mence. I feel like those lightweights who never drink after one cat-pool of that would have been blasted. I had it for picking nits. Like, they would be way more drunk after the 100-proof vodka stuff. But I liked it. Yeah, you're right. It's like half a sip and you're half way there to be like a zombie.

Yeah. Dennethitheeves, Benihana, where a person stealing location, probably the boarding school. I don't really, we don't have a lot of options here. I said specifically the dorms. Like, they got a basketball hoop. They got a YouTube poster. Like, I was trying to make out a lot of their posters in the background. I did that as a Jose. And I saw U2 and I think Burton snowboards.

And that's all I could make out. I have a poster I noticed for what stages are worst. Okay. Okay, good. Great shot, Gordor Award. I do like the ending group hug with the helicopter shot, where they go Affleck with the, uh, all of a sudden it turns in the town.

It's pretty solid. You know what I had, Bill? I had the judge. getting thrown out of helicopter. That's incredible. I feel like they spend 10% of the budget on that shot. They got somebody falling shooting up at the judge. Like, was that necessary you could have just shot?

I mean, why did you have to go with that? It's like, it's Bodie and Utah scene, like skydiving. I thought that was amazing. Yeah, that's a good call. The Vincent Chase Award for, are we sure this character was actually good at his job? Everybody running the FBI when they're just like, no, Billy, all right, all right, fine.

Lou Gossett vouches free. Go back in. Sounds great. We'll be totally able to explain this to your dad later. Terrible. Just nuts. The Butch's Girlfriend Award for Weeklink of the film, that's not Will Wien's accent.

So they kind of gloss over this, and it is the early 90s. We didn't really understand computers, but it was something. They immediately realized that the same chip for the paper, for the airplane thing, and the terrorist remote control, it's just going to be a perfect max.

if you just swap those. Even in 1991, I didn't understand this. In 2003, I'm more confused. It's very convenient. I think you hit on something earlier. When I was a kid, I thought that switching microchips was going to be a much bigger part of my life.

And I've never done it. It was like that quicksand down power lines. That's all we learned about as kids. And I've never come across quicksand or down power lines, let alone replace some chips. So it's a lot. That's a great point about. quicksand. Always. I think that was in like 8% of the shows I watched. There was a quicksand episode.

We're like, oh my God, that looks like I've never, where are the quicksand stories? Like we have Instagram and TikTok, all these different places to learn about weird shit. I don't think I've seen a quicksand clip. Does it exist? I don't think it exists. It's like when I was a kid, I still don't know how to do my taxes as an adult, but I can tell you how to survive quick quicksand. Like I learned as a child, I was educated. And then in like, And then we watch Princess Bride and there's a quicksand scene. So I think it kind of exacerbated it. Like you were afraid of it.

There's no quicksand out there, guys. It's just, it's not happening. Yeah. Craig, do you have any quicksand? Like, does your generation have quicksand experience? Not at all. The only quicksand thing, you know, Indiana Jones, quicksand, that's like what were my mind goes?

Yeah, quicksame just went out. We need to bring quicksand back. I mean, I'm pretty sure quicksand doesn't even really work. I don't, I think quicksand was like really dramatized. by movies. I'm pretty sure it's actually not really a deadly issue. But we've had, I don't know, 50 movies about like an underwater dive or some sort of dive gone wrong. We can't, I can't rent a movie called Quicksand with like Kate Bosworth or Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ice Cube. We could do a Quicksand movie.

Quicksand movie we can workshop in two minutes. I'm going to have to go on Quicksand Reddit and see what those folks are saying. I don't. Our quicksand. If there's a quicksand Reddit, that would be unbelievable. Let's take a break on that. Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? Zepbound terseptitide may be able to help.

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Learn more at Wells Fargo.com forward slash active cash terms apply. All right, coming back, there is a quicksand Reddit. I'm not sure it's what we're thinking because it just not really sure what's going on here. It seems a little kind of foreign pornish. All right. There you go. If you want to check that out later, our slash quicksand. What's age the worst?

So from a 2023 standpoint, no internet, no cell phones. This is a completely different movie, actually makes me wonder if there's remake potential with this movie in the internet cell phone age. But it is weird to watch like nobody has it. So I mentioned the posters. I did freeze frame and went frame by frame. What do you got?

Billy's Room had a Pogues poster. I don't know what that is. The Pogues was an Irish band. Okay. That I know about because Jacko, my Irish roommate, loved the Pogues. and I'm just trying to figure out why anybody in this boarding school

getting to know these characters would have like the Pogs because we know Will Whelon, like he's deep mafia. Right, exactly. He's basically a Corleone. So he's not a Pogs fan. He's in a Sinatra, that's it. Right. The rap pack, a little Dino Martin.

And I think it was just those two in the room. It was just Billy and Will Wheaton's character. So that means Billy must have been the Pogs fan. So that tells me, me, Billy's half Irish? I was left with a lot of questions. The other possibility is the set director just grabbed the poster. Did the Pogs have a hit or like something that is played to this day or they were

a suit indie or something? They were very, very hardcore Irish indie. But it was a lot of like, it was kind of like a crazier version of the drop kick Murpies. Yeah. And they had a lead singer who was like the most drunk person who would ever go on stage. That sounds cool. Yeah.

So maybe that's why he liked him. I don't know. but I'd notice that. Michael Champion, who is the henchman, being in a Colombian gang, I just, was he,

I'm just trying to retrace the steps here of how he ended up in this movie and how they didn't think we were going to notice. Like, shouldn't all of his gang have been Colombians? And if this guy was the one non-Columbian, how did they meet? Was this guy,

how did he end up there? How did they, end up working together? What were his qualifications? I just have a lot of questions, Kyle. Well, typically, this is a good question. Typically in this pattern, you have your one outlier who is your computer technology expert. Go back to die hard. Very slick Eastern European terrorist. Then there's an American black guy who's in charge of the computers. Why is he in that group? He has a special set of skills. But the one I'm seeing from Champion is like, again, just the filing. And then he does counting too. He counts in files. So I think he's a special set of skills. I think he's a special set of skills. I think he's

basically like an accountant. That's all he does. And then he gets blown away the second he tries to get violent at the end. So you think they found him on like the 1991 zip recruiter? Or he's like, I need a filer slash basically a secretary who can look tough and a vest.

I have been reviewing your LinkedIn. It says you are silent with files. I'm going to take a school. I need you. I need you. Have you ever held a gun? Morwood's age the worst. Why is? the trading place is Butler in this.

All right, go on. Like, he should be on an island with Ophelia and Billy Ray. Denholm, Elliot, Marcus Brody. It's just a bizarre casting, and I'm not sure what he's supposed to be doing in this movie,

and he doesn't really offer any insight, counsel, leadership. It just seems like his one role is during the day to bring the kids out and read them books and give them some semblance of some sort of teaching infrastructure.

Yes. I just personally, if that was me at that point in my career, I'm probably trying to figure how we can get out of this hostage crisis would have been my number one goal. I don't know. But I just don't understand

why he's in this movie. Why spend your budget on the Denholm-Elliott character? I just didn't get it. You often have conspiracy theories about how these movies are financed. The fact that Denholm came in and they're like, oh, and then there's one scene where we're going to hit the shit out of you

with the walkie-talkie. He's like, that's kind of beneath me that's undignified. The fact that Orbach was in it, he shows up for a nothing part. Like, there must have been some sort of financial deal going because this is Denholm-Elliad post-indy trilogy. Like, he's a known guy to people who like movies like this.

And his part is kind of ridiculous. Might have thrown a check at him. Well, I'm glad you mentioned Jerry Orbach, uncredited. Is that true? In this movie. Yeah. And that's a what stage is the worst. First of all, what do you think you're too good for the movie?

Jerry Orbach, he's in crimes of Mr. Meeners right around this point. Like, he's having a good career. and I don't understand, was he embarrassed by the movie? Or was it just like he did it as a favor? I mean, he basically, if you really study his parts, he's in two scenes and they easily could have filmed both scenes in like, what, four hours? So maybe the original Albert Trotta didn't work out and they had to bring in some more Italian people?

I don't know. What do you think? Well, I do have a theory on this. Back-to-back credits in this same year for Jerry Orbalt. he does toy soldiers his next film is a major motion picture called out for justice with stephen seagall in which he also has a nothing part and he shows up he's like uh do you know you made a mess of this thing and we got to find richie and then he walks up it's it he's obviously collecting checks are doing favors that's a hell of a back to back but zero parts from a venerable theater actor who's done all

the dick wolf stuff like everybody knows him and these are nothing parts it's got to be a check or something i don't know Because he's in crimes and misdemeanors in either 89 or 90. And that's, I think that movie's elite. Like, we're going to do that on rewatchables at some point. And then you should just go from that to uncredited Albert Trada and Steven Segal. Like, I just don't understand it. What other what's age of worst that you have?

Uncredited in the sense that Spacey is uncredited in seven. Like, we have to keep it a secret that Orbach shows in this. Like, people's minds are going to be fucking blown. Jerry O. I don't know why he's uncredited either, but two quick ones. You mentioned the 2023 piece of it. All right. In this entire film, there are two females.

The first one is pushed off a balcony in the first 30 seconds to a gory death. And the second one is a phone sex operator. So, like, that's rough. And I think if you were to remake it, I think the school is co-ed. I think Billy has a girlfriend. I think there's all sorts of other things going on. But that is a tough one. And my other one, Bill, is like, well, wait, hold on.

on that. We easily could have, the head of the FBI could have been a woman. Yes. Lugac's character or the Denholm-Holmeliate character, one of them could have been a woman. Yeah, it's a Dame Judy Dent shows up, like she kills it. There's nothing there. I wonder if that's a record for a mainstream movie

to have two female characters. Well, I guess there's some in that one scene when they're meeting with the parents. We get to see some moms. There's a mom who stands up and says, we don't have rich people. You're right. And she's probably an extra. She doesn't have a character name. But there's no female actual character who speaks on camera.

The only one is the phone sex operator who talks about her lingerie. It's like unheard of. It would never happen. Yeah, you're right. And then just the last one, maybe we're seeing this through like the lens of school violence and stuff. But like the tone is off amongst the student body. They're being held captive by ruthless killers.

They're like kicking the hacky sack and playing Frisbee and they're busting chops. Like, there's no tension at all. Even the point when Denholm is trying to teach the class in one of the terrorists walks by, he's like, oh, don't look at them, pay attention to me. You're like, you're talking about FDR. I'm fucking terrified. This guy has an A-G-A-walking by me.

There's no palpable terror. They're still kicking the soccer ball around. I don't think it's realistic. I had that as well as like the, you know, since they made this movie, the school shooting epidemic that happened. And I think people would react differently when in 20,

this is getting dark, but in 2023, I think it would be a little different than, oh my God, there's some terrorists with machine guns, which I think is the reaction. I'm with you.

I think people would be way more scared, especially, you know, at a boarding school, it's ninth graders. Those kids are 14. And it's like, they're scared anyway. It's like the fifth week

of the school year. And now we have 12 Colombian terrorists walking around with whatever. I don't know, there's definitely a lot of quiet. They gloss over some stuff in this movie. Mm-hmm.

Ron Burgundy Flute Award, best time for a pee break. There is no best time. This movie, just this humming. If you're buying in, you've got to buy in for every scene. There's not a section where I'd be like, all right, you can back off here.

Every piece of this is rich in some way. Did you have a moment you would have jumped out on? I think he can get a quick one. Post Will Wheaton death, Aston's crying on the floor of his room, And it's just very sad. And like, you know, Sean Asson's acting his ass off. But like, that's just such a downer after that.

I don't need the guys crying and hugging each other in their underwear and all that. It's just everything is weird about it and sad and depressing. So that would be my only one. Other than that, it cooks and you need every scene. So I like that scene because it's, there's some funny elements to it. There's a kid sitting on the other bed who's just staring at Sean Ashton as he goes through this book. Two people are in their underwear. Yep.

And, you know, this was in some of the research, too. I think as the years past, some of the underwear scenes have been interpreted a little, you know, maybe people have taken some liberties. I think what they were going for was this was Virginia. It's hot people. But I got to say, it was a little underwearish. Especially like that was the banana hammocks era of the kind of underwear. It wasn't even a boxer shorts era. This was like you're basically wearing Speedos. It is a little odd. it's noticeable. Like I did, like my wife and I are both like, man, a lot of underwear shots with discount Mera Lopez. I think they're just going for guys being dudes.

You walk around on your underwear, you don't give a shit. But it's what you're on is accurate is that I probably did that in college, but I had giant boxers on. That was at the time. It's the speedo fruit of the loom briefs. It's very revealing. And like, it's very sexually charged. So I think they're just trying to be like,

these guys don't care. They're comfortable to college kids or high school kids. Yeah. Was there a better title for this movie? Obviously not. But I do want to mention in Germany, the title was Boy Soldiers. Then I'm back to the underwear. I like Toy Soldiers better.

I don't want to hear my soldiers. The Judd Nelson New Jack City Award for Is Someone in the Wrong movie. You could make a case for Will Wheaton in this. Right. Make it. Make it. Or. I don't want to officially say this is a new category.

I just, I want to test drive it. The Will Wheaton and Toy Soldiers Award for most egregious miscasting. We don't, we never have really had a miscasting award. Yeah. And just whoever thought like they could sneak him by as, as the son of this hardcore John Gotti type son, Joey Trotta, the mafia's next generation. It's just bizarre. I don't even blame Will Wheaton for it. You did nothing wrong.

This is on the producers. No, and it just occurred to me, the guy who should have gotten it, and I don't know how the chronology lines up, I just listened to rewatchables of Bronx Tale. C in that movie would have been amazing in that part. Right. If C is in that part, it's like, oh, my God.

Yeah. I get this. This guy could definitely be running the mafia. Like, there's no piece of Will Whiten in this movie. You're like, I could see. There's some Michael Corleone here. No. I could see it.

maybe that's why he got shot to death. The Dr. Richard Kimball Inappropriate Body Award, which we don't get to give out that often, but discount Mara Lopez and Hank are both fucking Jack. They're like 16. Then there's that other scene.

They go to get advice from the dude doing the sit-ups. The guy's like 34. He looks like Franco Columbo. I don't understand the bodies of this movie. I'm sorry. I should take a step back as a Rwashables fan. I wasn't aware of this category, but it's fucking awesome.

That part where Richard Kimball gives himself the shot in his rock hard ass, and he's got abs like John Bastile. I was like, dude, what kind of HGH are you on Doc? What's Provasic doing to you? I didn't know this category exists. It's a perfect category. Thank you.

We don't get to use it that often. Best quote, the school gets taken over by terrorists and I'm still on pots and pans. Really solid. I like it. All right, so a hottest take a word. I don't know if you did a hottest take.

Oh, I got a hot stick. I'm in for a sequel at a girls boarding school that I wish it happened in like 1994. And I think it would have been incredible. And you could have even talked to me in it. It's like perfect Reese Witherspoon range, maybe even a little early Sarah Michelle Geller. But we just, we run it back. Now we're in a girls school. Girls headmaster, the whole thing.

And maybe it's like female and male terrorists or however we want to do it. But we're just, we're basically back. It's toy soldiers to. Greenwich Academy or whatever we want to say. I'm in. I would have watched it. That's my point. Boy soldiers to diehard poet society. That's what we're going to call it. Or school dies. We're just going to keep going with the prep school thing. It's a great take. Mine is, I know something Bill, you're always really observant about in these movies is hairstyles.

I think they were setting to cast this movie and they got their villain and they got their hero. And they're thinking, this is some action movie. Let's look at around in this early 90s, who are the biggest up-and-comers in action right now? What if we pair them against each other? Sean Asson's hairstyle is exactly, exactly Martin Riggs from Lethal Weapon. And Colley's hairstyle is exactly Steven Seagull from his first movie movies, down to the ponytail and the tie. It is like the two of them. They're like, let's just go with Riggs and Gino Filino, and that can be our good and our bad. It's so obvious if you look at it. That was the hot hair at the time, and they went with it.

who else had that hair? Because I feel like Larry Bird invented it around 86 to 87, and then people drafted off his fumes. But one guy that jumps to mind, one of the bad guys in Roadhouse had it. Oh, Jimmy. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't, because then Yager, Yarmir Yager on the Penguins, he pulled off this new advanced, and everybody, he scared everyone off, then everybody just moved on another hairdoes. But there was a moment there. So it's like, it's a little thick on the top. You have to have full head of hair.

And then you need it to go in the back. Because the, Adam Baldwin, what was the guy's name in Bad Boys with Sean Penn? Viking. Viking had a version of it too where it's got to go, you got to go down the neck, but it's got to have some girth. Yeah. It can't be like stringy. It's almost got to be like afroi in the back and puff out. And it's got to seem like almost it's accumulating from the ears to the neck.

And I don't think a lot of people can pull it off. Frankly, I don't think Ashton got enough credit. It's an incredible breakdown. There's a lot of density. There's hair spray, not gel. There's blow drying. You want a really deep pull who has it? In the movie, just one of the guys, her wacky brother has it.

Oh, Billy Jacoby. Yeah. That guy has it. Is this your audition tape for just one of the guys? Because it's on the list. A big fan. I didn't realize. Big fan.

It's an unbelievable movie. Oh, my. I can't, if we do just one of the guys, that might be the one that breaks Craig's brain officially. Craig, you've never seen just one of the guys, right? No, I haven't even heard of it. Okay. Yeah, we, that might be the next one, Kyle.

We might have to lock down. Just one of the guys is drinking buddies with a movie called Soul Man with Steve Thomas Howell. Those two movies get fucked up at the bar together. Let's do that. Soul Man, I think, has been extinguished, though. Like, so, soul man, even in the 80s, we were like,

Whoa. I think this crosses a line. This is like 87. Yeah, I don't even think you could find Soulman. Just one of the guys, though. Wow. Yeah, it's great. I think the little brother in that movie is in the behind Eddie Murphy, obviously, but maybe number two for funniest person in the 80s. That's a take. That's your Stephen A take right there. That guy, you would have thought after that movie, that guy's like, what's next for Billy Jacoby? I don't know where it goes from here, but it's going to be great. Buy it stock. Funnier than Bill Murray, the Dan Ayfroyd.

Is he the next Bill Murray? Is he the next Chevy Chase? Who is he? It's somebody. Casting what ifs. Yeah. So John Schlesinger was supposed to be the director. And then he dropped out to do Pacific Heights.

I love that one. I can't kill him on it. I kind of like Pacific Heights. I do think that was a solid move. So Coogan got hired first. And then they auditioned a bunch of people for the Billy Roll. And this is in the research. Coogan was already cast, so he sat down opposite Aston because they're buddies for his edition.

And he said, quote, Sean brought it. He was on fire. Actual quote. Can see it. Like, it just like, it just immediately. Couldn't miss. And then Corey Feldman wrote a book where he said how he auditioned for toy soldiers and it seemed like he was in for one of the parts, but he said he was not in the right place. And they'd have said, decided to look another way. I don't know what Corey Feldman part would have who he plays in this movie. Because it's not the Wheaton roll.

Maybe it is the Wheaton roll. It's Wheaton or else. It's all you got. I mean, I think he was too old for yogurt at that point. He and him were coming off the rails, I think, a little bit once you round into the 90s. It's sad, you know. But now he does a really impressive music and dancing,

so he's on the bigger things. I'm not against an alternate universe where toy soldiers exist with Corey Feldman as the billy part. I mean, it's easily going to be one of the worst movies ever made if that happened, but I'm not against it. The Roughlo-Hanna Rubinick Partridge overacting word. They knew and they let it happen. Don't you call me, lady.

I come in here. I give these things to you. Give it all you got. Give it all you got. I treated you like a son. You fucking stab me in the heart. Fuck you. Louis Callie, like, just lock it down.

I don't even know. Let's go. I think Wheaton takes a little run at it for a second. But Collie just swats him, like, Matumbo. He's like, no, no, no. This is my award. That's what I put here. The screaming, the everything.

At the end, he's coming unhinged. And he has that brutal gunshot to the head that they really spent some special effects money on. Yeah. They put some globs and blood on Sean Astin's Permfro, whatever the hell he had going. They got it right out there. Yeah. Billy Jacoby. What a fucking genius that guy was.

Best that guy award. Well, we have Mason Adams, Michael Champion, and Arley Ermi. And I don't even know who wins. It might be three winners. Yeah, I think Arly Ermi is Arly Ermi.

He's in too many things at this point. Yeah, you're right. Good call. Yeah, I think it's champion. You know, I love champion in total recall. He's always running around with Ironside. He's got that tracker. Like, he's playing the same role, basically.

Yeah, he was a staple. The Dion Wader's Award. Joey Trott his dad, maybe? I don't know. I don't even. or Louis Colley's dad, one of the dads. I think it's Orbach. I think he has two scenes and you're kind of intoxicated because he's famous.

Oh, this is no accident. It's worse. My son hates me. Yeah, my son hates me. Recasting couch. So I hesitate to do this and I feel like he's been thrown in a few recasting couches. But this is like a perfect Leo DiCaprio age right now. Let's talk about it.

Leo is yogurt? Oh, is yogurt. I guess he can't play Billy. Because he's like 15 at that point. Yeah. He's like too young for Billy. He's also 15 and he looks like he's 10. You know, he just, that was the magic of Leo.

So I would think right around 91 is growing pains. He would have to be one of the younger kids. I don't, he can't do the action piece. He's not driving the Humvee. He's like, Billy, there's no way. So he'd have, he'd have, you only roll with him for yogurt and it's kind of beneath him. They'd have to flush it out. Not against it.

I was trying to think who else could be. Joey Trada. I think you nailed it with the Bronx Tale kid. I think that's the right age for him. I like it. What about for our guy, Collie? I just feel like, you know, you say who's going to replace him?

And again, I'll go to Zach Wilson. They're like, who's going to be the backup? Who's better? You're just like, just fucking anybody. Just a warm body. Just give me any Spanish-speaking actor. If you had a really young, Leguizamo, if you had Andy Garcia. Oh, Leguza, that's good.

Like that's a much, much better movie. I'm way into that. There's a lot of guys you could have gone with. I would have loved Leibazoma. It would be a madman. Did you consider Stephen Bauer here? Is it too close to Scarface? Bauer can do it.

If Bauer could do it. I like Bauer for sure. It's not that close. Jimmy Smith had just been in running scared like five years earlier, but maybe that's enough distance. Smith is great. L.A. law is way behind them.

That's the idea I was searching for him. is good. I like that. All right. Half-ass internet research. So the scene where Billy eats a banana and throws the peel in the trash was improvised, Lou Gossett ran with it.

That's the magic of those two great actors. They filmed the helicopter stuff in San Antonio, which I thought was funny. There's a real Regis School, but it's in Manhattan. This fictional school was located in supposedly in Virginia. The kid who got named yogurt, that was a real-life story where they were all traveling in a van

on a way to begin filming, and the kid was eating yogurt, and the vehicle hit a bump and covered him in yogurt. They started calling him yogurt, and they just went with it. They changed his name in the movie to yogurt, and that's how he became yogurt. Yeah, the actor's name is Sean Phelan.

So Petrie blames the R-rating for Toy Soldiers, heard at the box office. Yeah. Yeah. Aston said, Keith Coogan and I grew up together because their dads were both in the business. We've always known each other and Coogan said,

he's like a brother. And then Aston said, he also was excited to work with Will Wheaton. Aston said, I really wanted to stand by me. I really loved that movie. He went for the River Phoenix role and River Phoenix was like, get the fuck out of it. That ain't happening either, dude. No way.

Then some Keith Coogan research. He had more success with Don't Tell Mom the Baby Sitter's dead, which was... Dishes are done, man. Pretty beloved early 90s movie. Yeah. It's Applegate, like early peak for her. And then it says, but a dispute

over billing in that film and the firing of his agent would plague Coogan for the rest of his career. He would never recapture the level of success. I don't know what happened there. What do you have for a body count for this movie? It's actually pretty low, I think. I'm not going to start counting. I know the security

guard. I'm going to say it's 12th. 18. What? Really? 18 people in this thing? Body count. Everyone always goes low on body count.

Yeah. Damn. That's a lot. All right. We'll take one more break and then come back for Apex Mountain. Want your kids to learn and play every Sunday for free? Plenty kids is using sports and evidence-based wellness coaching to help kids build confidence, resilience, and the tools they need for life's challenges and opportunities.

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by Two Good and Company coffee creamers. Howdy take your coffee? Piping hot, ice, strong, frothy. But if you love rich, creamy goodness and delicious flavor in every sip, try Two Good Encompanied Creamers. They're made with farm-fresh cream and real milk. Each serving has just three

grams of sugar, 40% less than the leading coffee creamers. Two good creamers are available in sweet cream, roasted vanilla and lavender. So which one are you trying first? Find two good creamers at your local retailer in the creamer aisle. All right, Apex Mountain. I mean, the great thing about this movie is probably nobody except for the guy who played Louise Callie. Sean asked him no. Luke Austin, definitely not. The guy won an Oscar, the iconic officer and gentleman performance. Will we know. Jerry Arbach, definitely not. Boarding School hostage movies?

I'm going to say yes. Hell yeah. Can't even think of another one. Throwing judges out of helicopters, yes. Boarding school kids bonding in banana hammock underwear. I'm going to say yes. Thumbs up. Whatever, those Sean Aston shirts that he's wearing,

are those like cut off Marlboro Man shirts? How would you describe those? I had it earlier as double dragon chic. He looks like he's in an old and intent. game. It's a, it's a look for sure. But yeah. Old, Nintendo Sheik. Just punching and kicking and

throwing knives. That's what he looks like. So we're going to run this on Monday. I don't know why you wouldn't dress like the Toy Soldiers guy on Monday to promote the rewatchables that night. I'd be happy to do that. The cut off Sean Ashton. I'm like, Kyle, what's happening?

And you're just like, guys, big rewatchables today. I thought I'd dress in character. And why do you have a bottle of mouth wash with you? What is that about? Best racehorse name? I kind of like Joey Trotta as a racehorse name. Joey Trada sounds fast.

Toy Soldier? Toy Soldier Works. I have 100 proof vodka. I'm in on that. Bill, I think it's important. I did have One Apex Mountain. Oh, okay. Cool-ass teachers or educators in movies.

like, is there anybody cooler than gossip in this movie? They zag so hard from the Dick Prep School disciplinarian that like every time he catches them, they're spray painting cop cars, they're defacing school property. So I was like, ah, these kids these days. And then when he catches them with the booze at the end, he's like, you think you're the first one to drink out of mouthwash?

I used to get fucked up back in the day too. Like, no one is that cool. And then even the Denholm Elliott character is like, don't be so hard on them. It's creative. Like, they are so easy going. and so nice and so fun, that never happens in this. And I can't think of, be it, you know,

lean on me or dangerous minds or whatever. I think it's the coolest educators I've ever seen in a movie. I want to go to school there. Great topic. Thank you. I'm going to, unfortunately, probably have my answer seven hours from now. I don't think you can sleep on Mrs. Garrett from Facts of Life, though. I love Mrs. G.

And the joy and wisdom she brought to the life of the girls. She did. during that school who somehow stayed in school for three extra years beyond senior year. That's a good one, though. I'm with you. I love Lou Gossett, and I do feel like, you know, he had a good career, but it actually was during this era where there probably weren't enough parts for somebody like him. I think he would have thrived 30 years later.

But his officer and a gentleman, that's one of the great supporting roles. Like, he's fucking awesome in that movie. Mayo. Pickinets. Yep. I don't mean to be a dick, but man, moving all that Dean's furniture into the quad with the bookshelves. And it's just, God damn, that's a lot of work. I mean, a lot.

And also, you don't have a camera phone to record the order that it's in and the space that it's in. Like, how did they even remember where the pencil holder is and where the end table is? Now we would just take pictures. I'm with you completely. They should have done fire holes in the chapel. A lot of books. Yeah.

It's like five hours? Mm-hmm. Six hours? I don't know. So the cigarette sets off the fire alarm. He puts, Keith Coogan's character puts the cigarette in the matches and puts it under the fire alarm. And the cigarette just burns and burns and burns.

I might have smoked a few cigarettes in my day. I've never seen a cigarette just continue to burn for one-third of the cigarette like that. It's impossible. It's never happened, ever. If you put it down, lit, it doesn't just burn itself out. I don't know. It will burn itself out.

almost immediately, but it would not in time to set the matches off, you know? Because you're not puffing it. It won't go all the way down to the filter. It just die. It'll just, and it's just not going to work. So the kids can tap into a phone line. And then, so I'm guessing they kill all the phone lines in the building. Yeah. But they have skills to communicate that we've established early. There's no, nobody, there's no spitballing about what if we tap into this or the school wires, because they have that Hank the genius guy, right? Yeah. Where was that saying? Deleted? Yeah, gone. I don't know what happened with that. They had a better plan of us crawl through the air shaft and switch the microchips. That should work.

Fair enough. When you have to switching the chips part. So the Morse code dialogue where you're just sending numbers to your dad in Spanish is like DSA-C-Co. Vente-2. How from that, from those numbers, does the guy understand that Trada's son is in the boarding school. What numbers are those? Is that like 67 is Mafia son? Unbelievable. I just don't understand how they got there. The number, the number of quarantine in uno means boarding school. And they, they designated that term to that number. I don't know how that thing works. It's a cool ass device. I like that they came up with that and that's how he talks to his dad, but it doesn't make any sense. So Mafia son, but then it's like, well, which Mafia guy?

I just don't know how they got there. I think there's way more digits. The terrorists brought no clothes. Champions rock in the same vest shirt thing for like six days. Little suitcase maybe? Three-day package job?

Nothing? No. I mean, those guys must have stunk. It doesn't change shit. How many days do you think they're there? I think five? Yeah. I think four,

four maybe four days. It's a long time. Tough. Any picking nits for you? Two little ones. One, when Billy finally makes it back and he's always in the showers in the shower. And then our guy, champion, feels his hair and he goes, he is wet, which is a terrible line. Also, he just felt in like the sewer runoff.

He's covered in shit. Like, there's no way they wouldn't notice all this raw sewage draining all over him. Come on. That's tough. It's a good point. But, all right, the other one, this is more of it. Maybe this is a little different note. You're telling me, the Gassad Jr., seven night, ladies.

evening in his private quarters. He's sitting there. He's lonely. There's no internet. It doesn't be any woman in his life. He's maybe having a scotch. Oh, what's this? There's someone on line five. He picks up the phone and that woman is going for it. Like, she's almost at the end of her routine. You tell me he hangs up the phone. You're telling me he's like he hangs up in the hell no, he doesn't. He's going to sit back, enjoy the show, and then he's going to find out what's going on with the phone line. That guy has a lonely life. An incredible call. Come on. Couldn't agree more. At least give it like five minutes and maybe really get. to the culmination.

Right. Sequel, Prequel, Prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. I would have done a 90s sequel for this, and I would do a sequel now. There's been rumors about Jason Blum potentially doing a sequel to this. Cool.

I think I'm actually surprised with the amount of terrible prestige television we have. I know. And kidnapping stuff that we have and hostage stuff that nobody has ever just said, hey Hulu, one season,

Toy Soldiers, because I feel like I would watch at least the first episode. And I know you would. Oh, I'm weighing. I think it's a 10-episode run. It feels a little bit like that show Prison Break that used to be on. And maybe it's Collie's son

and he's trying to avenge his dad. That shit always works. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trao, Catherine Hodge, Steve Bouch, Sam Bucce, Sam Jackson, J.T. Walsh, Frank Vincent, or Philip Baker Hall. We probably need to expand the category here and throw in

somebody in the Denholm-Eliah part. I was thinking Helen Mirren, Dame Helen Mirren. That's good. Ellen Mirren would be great. Let's get her in there. I also think Philip Baker Hall absolutely could have played the older FBI guy. I mean, that's where I go.

We got a 96-year-old Orville Redenbocker looking FBI guy. But I always answer this question of Philip Baker Hall, Bill, and I do it only as Philip Baker Hall playing the role of Floyd Gondoli and he calls, look, we got a power out in the whole county. And I like watching people on film fucking. And I like lollipops in my mouth and butter in my ass. And it would just make sense. Gondoli always in the movie. Great call. Just one Oscar who gets it. I think the better question is, should this have been Lou Gassett's Oscar or not Officer and a Gentleman? What would you have gone with? Probably still Officer and a Gentleman. I would say Sean

Ashton for Just One Oscar. Either he or best supporting actress to the fun. sex operator. Hmm. Okay. Really goes for it. Probably an answerable questions. I didn't put a lot of time into this, and I didn't want to make a whole list. I didn't want to spend, because I knew I would have taken three hours.

Best 90s mafia guys, the mafia had a real resurgence in Hollywood, right? Yeah. So we had like Jimmy Conway would be a 10 out of 10. Paul Sorvino's Goodfellow's character is probably a 9. Bronx Tale, Sunny is probably an 8. And you go on down the line. Where's Albert Trotter for you? for mafia characters.

Like, four out of ten, would you go? Three and a half? He's like below Richie Appreel and Sopranos. Below all those. It's pretty low.

Pretty low. There's a lot. I mean, we got some heavy hitters, dude. Well, there was like Mad Dog and Glory. Oh, yeah.

He's basically a mafia. Like, for some reason there's a million mafia characters for five. Married to like, analyze this, analyze that. We got on getting in that move.

But people, Hollywood loved the mafia for like 10 years. And I think we talked about a little on the Bronx Tale pod, like it was that generation that had grown up with the godfather that now had the money to make movies. And we're just like, mafia, mafia, mafia, let's go. Culminating the Sopranos.

But even to the point here where they're just like for no reason at all, the mafia's in toy soldiers, makes those sense. Best double features choice with this movie. Would you go to the Goonies? You know what? Goonies would be great. These are the grown-up goonies. These are like post-pubescent goonies.

You mentioned Lou Gossett a few times. The gosset I grew up on was Iron Eagle. I'm going to watch Iron Eagle. I'm not going to go the Aston route. I'm going Iron Eagle, which if anybody doesn't know is like, post-top gun and Gossett's like the sort of OB-1 pilot, and then Gedric is the Maverick. It's badass.

I love Iron Eagle. I'm changing my answer. I'm going just one of the guys and then Toy Soldiers. You got to see just one of the guys. It's amazing. On the cover, the female has two football helmets over her breasts. It's really subtle. You'll love it.

The movie's amazing. The Indian Reds-O-Wat-A Award for what happened the next day. I think everyone gets a 4-0. Probably start there, right? Foros for everybody. Does Billy make it the rest of the year

without getting kicked out? Probably yes. Yeah, he's even on a path to become Dean one day. That's how the story will go. That might be the sequel. Oh, Sean Astin is the Dean in the sequel. That's interesting.

Yeah, it's like when Iceman goes on to become the Admiral. in the Navy. You know, like that's the way he goes. Yeah. And you think there's like a let it go scene with him

and Joey Trotter's death? You know what it is? He has Joey Trotter's onck earring in his hand and he just takes it and sidearm throws it right into the mucky sewer water that was draining off of him.

That's what he does. I like it. What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? I don't need to ask. You'd take the earring. I'd take the earring. I don't even have my ear pierce.

Remind me, Bill, did you have got yours, Chris, we have a earring guy back in the day? Me neither. I mean, I asked my dad once and he's like, no, you're not doing that shit. So I would go with the earring. It's badass.

I would do the earring or I would do the model playing, I think would be fun. But it would be only you and three other people that even understood it. The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson, don't try a New York Italian accent if your name is Will Wheaton. I think that's a really good lesson.

But for Best Life Lesson, you know, the most enterprising kid in the school, he might be a little bit of a fuck up, might not have the best grades, but watch out for that kid in a good way. That might be the kid who saves you during a terrorist attack. He might be the one. He's got guts.

And I like the life lesson about him that comes in a form of a line where when he says to his friends, he's like, you're fucking morons, you know that? And they goes, that's why we hang with you, Billy. And they do it. I'm like, hell yeah, baby. I like those guys. There's some good, or we forgot to do this

of what stages of where some of the early 90s kind of chest bump, elbow bump stuff that had trickled in from basketball and nobody knew how to pull off anything. Who won the movie? Sean Ashton. Sean Aston, man. I think it's like a runaway, right? He's doing it. He does Rudy two years later. Eventually he's going to get to Lord of the Rings. But yeah, he really showed us something here, man. I believe him. I think he's really good in this movie. I'm going to end on this note before we bring in Craig. Is Sean Ashton kind of like underrated? Okay. I had a question about this. Like in a real way. Is Sean Aston like legitimately underrated as a good actor? I think the answer is yes. And I would, I wouldn't have sent a question back to you. Is if we combine the Hollywood and sports world? Is Sean Aston a Hall of Famer? Is he in the Hall of Fame? And I'll just lay out the facts. So iconic Goonies movie where he is the lead in the 80s.

iconic Rudy movie he's the lead there the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy Best Picture winning massive he has a crucial role in that don't count out in Cino Man which now is this injection of legacy because of the two Oscar winners

he's in Stranger Things with the biggest TV show of all time I think it's a debate I really do it's like when Curtis Martin came up for the hall like he's really good is like Frank Gore or Marshaun

like is he a Hall of Fame or do you think I think Frank Gore is a great analogy where you can't say there was the peak like we like you know but the body work it's long it's impressive i'm not a lord of the rings guy but he's one of the three most important people in lord of the rings right i'm a massive lord of the rings guy and the movies don't work without him rudy is one of the big sports movies of the last 30 years yeah he's got this goonies is an iconic 80s movie what else did he have yeah i i don't know if he's a hall of favor but i do think he gets brought up

brought up. Oh, he was in 24, too. He had a really fun 24 season. I do think if he gets brought up, you don't get laughed out of the room. He's one of those guys like Tori Holt, who keeps making the finalist list and then never gets in. They never get the knock on the door. And then Peter King writes about like how he did it got when Sean Astin's name come up. It's like, oh, my God. The room was very contentious. 20 minutes and just screaming. Yeah, very contentious. Bill, I know you're a huge body switch movie enthusiast. Did you ever mess around with like father, like son, or Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore. Because Aston is Kurt Cameron's best friend in that.

He's the trigger. It's great. Not going to get him in the hall, but it's part of the work. Yeah. Better career than you think, Sean Ashton. All right, let's bring in Craig. Can't wait for his. He had no idea of this movie existed.

And we didn't tell him anything. And he just, you watched it last night, late night? Yep. Late night screening. What were your thoughts? Ebert's review really makes me question his taste. I'm going to be honest. I'm offended on behalf of Roger.

I couldn't believe how much this movie grew on me. Like, you know, this is not in the sudden death category for me. Like, this is the level up. This is up there with the vanishing for me. Okay. Oh. Yeah. This is in the vanishing zone.

By the end, it was like, I found myself defending this movie and I don't know why. Liz, my wife would be sitting next to me and she would like laugh and make fun of something. And I'd be like, hey, this is actually a pretty good plot. I'd be like, you know, this is actually well constructed here. Like, this is better than it could have been, all right? I was like sitting there being like, this sounds like Indiana Jones from a score perspective. Like John Williams, look out. You know what I mean?

Like kind of an incredible score. But yeah, I don't know. I kind of loved every aspect of this movie. I think the premise is phenomenal. And it made me realize that I think people trapped in one location is the best movie format. You got the prison movies. You got your terrorist takeovers. You got the nonviolent versions like Breakfast Club.

You got the legal versions, like the 12 Angry Men. you got the solitary version and castaway. The kind of nature one, like yellow jackets. Yeah. It's just the Lord of the Fly's blueprint, I think, is the best movie format. It's good. Kyle, see how well we've raised Craig here in the rewatchables the last five years. I really blossomed.

I feel like we've really conditioned him. Craig, when you were in high school, did you and your friends over put up your iPad and just all five of you go to the porn hub and just watch it together? Yeah, yeah. We each went to a different website. We tried to pick the best one. It was like red zone. Like red zone. Red zone.

I have a movie question. Red zone for porn is a good idea. Craig, were you shocked when Will Wheaton just got shot to death? To be honest, yeah, I didn't see that coming. I kind of expected him to go out and really like make something to happen. But I respect it. I respect the choice of having to shoot the gun in the air.

They don't usually do that with people. Usually in most movies when somebody picks up a machine gun, like they treat it as though they immediately become like an army soldier. But I actually liked that they went with the realism move there and had him shoot the sky. Yeah, and it was kind of shocking in the moment because he was the standby me kid and that was such a big influential movie. And this is only like a couple years later. It's like, oh my God.

Will Wien's just got brutally shot to death. I can't believe this happened. By the way, Craig, we already have a name for the Red Zone porn. It's the Octobox. They're already using it. It's already there. So just repurpose that. And you're set.

You're set. Octobox. Picking knit, Lou Gossett gets shot in the heart. We just kind of, he's fine immediately. He just gets up. Forgot to mention that. Great job. Yeah, it's basically saying,

just missed the heart. But I still feel like he's out of stretcher. He's like 60. He's like on his feet, like 30 seconds later. You got shot in the chest and he's just going, you're still on pots and pans, though, you know? You're still on pots and pans. It's rough, rough ending.

No one's ever, no one ever gets shot on the rights. side of the chest. Everyone always gets shot on the left and survives. That's what we do. That's a great point. Well, this podcast was produced by Craig Horlebeck. Kyle Brandt, what do you got to plug? Good morning football. Watch it. I don't like to come out of here and plug pods. I come here for pleasure. This is not business. This is personal. Watch good morning football. Bill always has observations that he texts me about it that I won't release to the public.

But this is the time of my life, Bill. I love doing this. It's my favorite podcast. We watch. I was thrilled to be on. Well, we already know what. your next movie is going to be. Although, what, what classic actor have we not done yet now? We've done Van Dam, we did Arnold, we did, we've done Salae, obviously. We did Segal. Listen, there's a couple that I think we got to quit playing games and take care of. There's some things hanging there. Over the top is there. Oh, yeah, there's some low hanging. Under Siege is there. The running man has a really interesting Richard Dawson angle to it and game show. There's a lot of them. A lot.

The real question is going to be, see, I can't talk about this yet. What do you mean? There's going to be a live rewatchable show in Chicago. Okay. That I'll be really interested to see if you figure out how to get there in time for the show. So they give me, it's a Chicago-based movie? It's a Chicago-based movie.

I'll be interested to see if you figure out how to get there in time for it. That's all I can tell you. I can't tell you anything more, but there's going to be some dialogue. context and it'll be interesting. I'm just trying to think of the movie. I know you can't tell me. Does it have Conno? I'll tell you after.

I'll tell you after we hop off the Zoom. Gotcha. All right. We'll see you next week on the rewatchables. Thanks, guys. Thank you.