The Rich Roll Podcast - AMA: Alex Pretti, Alex Honnold, Peter Attia, & Finding Hope In Dark Times
Episode Date: February 12, 2026Roll On is here—and this one has teeth. Adam and I unpack the tale of two Alexes—Honnold and Pretti—and what that juxtaposition reveals about the best and worst of human nature. From there: a ...9-month surgery milestone (30 lbs down, joy levels up), the Attia-Epstein fallout and the allure of proximity to power, and ICE's authoritarian overreach. Listener questions round us out: finding hope, perfectionism, escaping burnout, and the sacred practice of showing up for someone else. Enjoy! Show notes + MORE Watch on YouTube Newsletter Sign-Up Today’s Sponsors: Rivian: Electric vehicles that keep the world adventurous forever👉🏼https://www.rivian.com Squarespace: Use code RichRoll to save 10% off your first order of a website or domain👉🏼https://www.squarespace.com/RichRoll Birch: For 27% off ALL mattresses👉🏼https://www.BirchLiving.com/richroll Momentous: High-caliber human performance products for sleep, focus, longevity, and more. For listeners of the show, Momentous is offering up to 35% off your first order👉🏼https://www.livemomentous.com/richroll Go Brewing: Use the code Rich Roll for 15% OFF👉🏼https://www.gobrewing.com Check out all of the amazing discounts from our Sponsors👉🏼https://www.richroll.com/sponsors Find out more about Voicing Change Media at https://www.voicingchange.media and follow us @voicingchange
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Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. We're back. It's time for Roll On. I'm sitting across from my brother from another mother, Alex. Alex? I got Alex on the brain. Let me start over.
Hey, everybody. Roland is back, and it's coming right up, but first. This episode is sponsored by Rivian. When I think back on some of my fondest memories from childhood, 100% of them happen outdoors on mountains in late.
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experience. Hey everybody, welcome to the podcast. We're back. It's Roland time. I'm sitting across
from my brother from another mother, Mr. Adam Skolnick,
my international correspondent, as I've been calling you lately.
Yes.
Today we're going to talk a little bit about Alex Honnold.
We're going to talk what happened to Alex Preddy.
We are going to discuss Peter Attia and then surgery, recovery.
A bunch of people that asking me about how that's going.
And then we're going to answer some listener questions.
but first and foremost, how are you doing, Adam?
Good, man.
Great to be back.
Good to be here with you.
Yeah, we had a nice midwinter summer moment.
That was lovely.
Seems to be over now.
Yeah, well, the rest of the country is suffering.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
Under a deep freeze.
A little sensitivity.
Sorry.
Adam.
Not all of us are, you know,
enjoying 80 plus degree Fahrenheit weather.
A midwinter summer and I'm sorry.
It's gone.
That's the wrong note to start.
If it makes anyone feel better,
I spent like two out of the last three days in the car,
our youngest daughter who is away in school,
wanted to come home for the weekend.
So five and a half hours driving to pick her up
and bring her home,
a day of spending time with her
and then another five and a half hours in the car
taking her back.
Oh, wow.
This is what you do when you're a parent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We were in the car.
We had a little road trip the last weekend, too.
I was in Sonoma.
I did a book event in Sonoma.
How'd that go?
It went well.
It was fun.
It was like at this ranch owned by this Politico,
kind of California, old school politico guy that had like 15 or 20 of his people there.
That's cool.
And so it was fun.
And then we drove down, but we had a little malfunction with our electric vehicle and it wouldn't take fast charging.
So we had to do like this sipper.
So it ended up being the adventure we hadn't signed up for.
But we took it Muir Woods, Monterey,
Sandless, it just took like the slow march down
and enjoyed this gorgeous, beautiful state of California.
That's nice, man.
Yeah.
When you got the electric car, you gotta plan accordingly around that
if you're gonna be driving a great distance.
Let's start with Alex Honnold.
We hosted, as many of you know,
our first live event here in the studio this past week.
And that went,
swimmingly, I think. It was super fun. We had Alex really just in one of his very first media appearances
post-Tay-Free Solo send, which was just incredible to have him here and have him interacting with
a group of people that we kind of handpicked to attend this event. It was really a business
sort of thing. We had representatives from the brands that we work with. We had people from
Netflix and Google and publicists and things like that. And it was really a test run to put this new
facility that we've moved into to use to take advantage of this incredible theater where we're
sitting right now, open it up to the public and begin tweaking this tried and true format of
podcasting in a live environment. And I think it went really well. We learned a lot and it will be the
first of many. And I think it puts us in a position to do some really interesting things.
While everyone else in this space is sort of chasing subscriber growth and how many people are
you know, listening or watching, we're really focusing on strengthening the depth of our connection
with the audience. And I think live events are the future and the best way to do that.
And big live events are great, but there's something about this space that's very intimate.
I think lends itself to that like depth piece that I'm really excited about.
Yeah, the best shows we've ever been to in our lives thinking of music.
Aren't they the intimate venues?
Like a little club before the band broke.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's cool to have that feel here.
And obviously fun to see Alex and you guys just flow so well.
So it's always good.
You bring something out in him, I think.
It's different.
And it was super fun.
Well, he's really a game to go anywhere.
And he has such a grounded, calm disposition.
Like, there's no question that you could ask him
that would, like, fluster him.
You know what I mean?
And I think what's underrated about Alex
is his intelligence,
his clarity of thought,
and his ability to so clearly articulate his perspective
without any care about how it lands.
Like, he is not concerned with, you know,
making sure he says the right thing.
Like, he's just like, this is how I see it.
You know, to me, it's like this.
And then he's, like, baffled
if people, like, are like,
oh, wow, you know, like, that's a different perspective.
He's just like, well, that's who I am.
Like, he's unapologetically himself.
And I think there's something refreshing about that, but also inspiring.
Like, he doesn't equivocate, you know, he is authentically who he is.
And obviously, he's a very special person who can do, you know,
incredible things that inspire us.
But I think his demeanor is often overlooked as an essential piece in that kind of inspiring equation.
No doubt.
And the flip side of that is true as well.
Like he doesn't care what other people say
about him either.
It doesn't affect him negatively.
He doesn't personalize any of it.
No, he does take nothing personally.
Like I remember I was, when I was meeting with him,
I had spoken with Tommy Caldwell and who had said,
when he first heard about it, the skyscraper event,
he considered a media stunt and then Alex subsequently kind of
convinced him otherwise.
But when I brought that up to Alex, he's like, well, you know,
he didn't take it personally at all.
is like Tommy can think whatever he wants.
Like it doesn't bother him.
And it clearly wouldn't affect their friendship.
And so it's like it's interesting to see.
Like I remember when New York Times first decided to kind of send me out there
when they finally did it.
To go to Vegas.
To go to Vegas.
Yeah, that's what you had asked on the podcast.
I didn't really answer it appropriately what it was like to go out to Vegas and spend
time with them.
And one of the things that I remember was the editor really wanted to push on kind of what's
at risk for his family.
And like, is that narcissistic?
Is there something wrong with that?
And I could tell that my editor kind of felt like there was.
And so he's like, you know, Alex gets enough praise.
We need to push him.
And I'm like, I just said really clearly, I said, it's not going to be a problem
to push him.
Like, you could ask this guy anything.
It's so rare.
You know, that is so rare.
Like, I've interviewed hundreds of people now of all walks of life, some really trying
circumstances and some kind of people that get a lot of praise.
and every single one of them besides Alex,
I need to be careful about what I bring up
something that could be touchy.
I've never had that experience before
where I knew going in,
it didn't matter when or what I said
it wasn't going to be taken personally
or cause kind of a roadblock for further conversation.
I just knew it ahead of time.
And so I think that's exceptionally rare.
And the other thing that I think I wish came across more
that people don't get,
I mean, two things is that, first of all,
He is a pillar of the rock climbing community out there.
And when he was working out on that sport climbing route at Crystal Light Cave, it was him.
It was a 67-year-old professor of philosophies, the chair of the philosophy department at UNLV in just incredible shape named Bill.
There was a woman whose husband is one of the best sport climbers in the world.
I wish I could remember her name off head.
I apologize.
But she makes a living like putting up lights on the strip, like in high angle cameraman, but with lighting.
there was a jazz musician, a young guy
whose father also climbs there.
Alex is now climbing with a second generation of climbers.
And every one of them failed on what they were trying to do that day.
They all were trying to send certain routes.
Every one of them had different routes they were trying.
And they all had their own partner.
And they all failed, including Alex.
And what was interesting is that rock climbing
is really a study in failure,
which when you put that up against what he's doing free solo,
where failing is not allowed, I think it's really interesting.
And I wish I'd brought that up because it's something
just to talk about for us all to contemplate.
Like in this sport, while they fail
because of full body failure,
because they're climbing to their absolute max
and their body just fails, like real true literal failure.
And then he takes up something where failure is absolutely not allowed.
It's just such an interesting second side of the sport, you know.
Just thinking about it makes my palms start sweating, you know.
The other thing about Alex is that he's super funny.
If you can create an environment that allows him to relax,
like the comedy side of him really comes to the surface.
And it's so enjoyable.
And because I've had that good fortune of knowing him for a while
and spending time with him and having interviewed him on this podcast,
I don't know, probably like five times now or whatever,
like I know how to like create that environment,
to allow him to kind of shine in his own, you know,
a very specific, unique, specific way.
Totally.
I mean, a little behind the scenes also.
We have a ping pong table here at the studio.
And so as soon as he arrived, it was like,
he's obsessed with ping pong.
He just went straight to the ping pong table.
Alex got so into it that we were in a side conference room
kind of prepping for the event as people were starting to filter in.
Alex came in, you were there and he changed.
He changed, he like changed his outfit.
So he got into like shorts and a tank top
so that he could play better and he went back out
to play. And he played ping pong almost right up
until the event started.
He went Jennifer Hudson, ping pong with Greg, rich roll.
Yeah, and Kimmel the night before.
And then today I just saw a clip that Netflix posted
where he's sitting on top of the Netflix building,
like sitting on the very edge. Do you see that?
No.
Because I think the day after our event,
he went over to Netflix for a meeting and obviously they had them,
they put him on the top of the building or whatever
for the big shot.
Yeah.
but quite a character.
I do wanna address one thing,
which is right after watching him do the Taipei climb,
but before the live event,
I posted a video on Instagram.
It was just a spontaneous like, hey,
I'm gonna whip out my phone and just share a few thoughts
on what I just witnessed and kind of what I got out of observing
what Alex had just done.
And it's really this tale of two,
Alex's. It's sort of insane that the Matrix has wired it this way, that literally on the same
day that Alex did this, you know, accomplished this breathtaking feat, that we have Alex
Preddy, the other Alex, you know, being murdered by ICE. On the one hand, we have what happened to
Alex Prattie just being, you know, basically a demonstration of the worst of man's impulses,
aggression, violence, this, you know, debased act of violence that is really, you know, emanates
from this place of, you know, power control and fear, right? Like this authoritarian overreach
of ICE at the behest of an administration that is, you know, careening us more and more towards
authoritarianism, basically, you know, expressing this overreach of power that ends up in tragedy
and just inexcusable violence.
And on the other hand, we have Alex Honnold,
and what he did was an expression of awe, wonder, and possibility.
You know, Alex Prattie was also fearless.
And what he did was to step in into that situation
was out of love and a fearlessness as well.
And so it's interesting, they're both kind of different angles
on love and fearlessness.
And, you know, in Taiwan, I woke up before dawn,
wondering if there was going to be a climb because they've been raining for days.
And the first thing I see is the headline.
The first thing I saw that morning was Alex Pready.
And it was miserable.
You know, like that's how you wake up.
You know, the only thing I would add on the Alex Pready part is, you know,
the city of Minneapolis is standing up.
It's amazing to see.
It's breathtaking to watch.
It's, you know, Steph Curry was the Warriors were playing the Timberwolves.
And they got stuck there for days because they actually postponed one of the games.
because it was right after Alex Dathen, I think it was the same night that they were supposed to play.
And he watched the demonstrations and was just overwhelmed with love.
And that's what he had said.
And it is amazing to see the city stand up.
You know, we were the first test city here in L.A.
And, you know, this debased violence you're talking about, it's coming from the state.
I mean, that's, I think, what really upsets people and is really scary.
It's not just random violence.
It is state-sponsored.
And so, yeah, it's been terrifying.
But to have both happen on the same day,
like you said, it's like this cosmic,
I mean, it's all there for our evolution, right?
So, you know, where do we go from here?
You know, where is this all lead?
Well, you know, lessons abound.
I mean, first of all, not for nothing,
you know, Mayor Jacob Frye, like not mincing words,
like really, you know, refreshing as a politician
to get up there and just, you know,
plainly state what he's observing and what is actually happening.
Like that takes a lot of courage.
So mad respect to him, friend of the pod,
friend of the been on the podcast.
Great, right.
And I think that there is, you know, a lot to be concerned about
and there's a lot of pain out there right now.
What happened is atrocious.
It's worthy of talking about.
It's, you know, worthy of address.
You know, I do think that for some,
someone like myself who has a relatively large platform that comes with a responsibility.
And when you see overreaches of power, there is a, you know, a call to action to speak truth to
power. And so it's important for me to do that. But this is an instance in which, you know,
clearly it needs to be said. And certainly, you know, I'm not the only person saying this.
Lots of people are saying this. But just in terms of my perspective on this, it's pretty clear that
this is a dire situation that we should be all very concerned about this trajectory that our country is on right now.
And yet, we can still celebrate Alex Honnold as this rallying point who created this water cooler moment that brought us all together in this unifying experience that reminds us that we share more in common than the differences that divide us.
and also to really take in his message
of possibility and hopefulness,
that if he could do something like that,
we can certainly come together to share our common problems
and move forward.
Agreed.
Should we talk about Peter Attia?
Oh no.
I was afraid you were gonna say that.
I mean, we have to talk about it.
We gotta talk about it, man.
We gotta talk about it.
Peter Atia, you know, longevity, medicine,
specialist, podcaster,
past guest of this podcast. I think it's not news to anybody at this point because it's everywhere
that he is implicated in the Epstein files. I think his name was mentioned over a thousand times.
And so all of this has come out, his correspondence with Jeffrey Epstein, his relationship with
Jeffrey Epstein. And, you know, I just want to state plainly how disappointing this is.
I'm upset about it. I'm angry about it. It's unacceptable.
and it's incredibly disappointing to receive this news
as somebody who knows this person.
And look, it's not that hard to refuse associating
with a convicted pedophile.
It just isn't.
And I would have hoped that he was somebody
who would have exercised better judgment back then.
And really, that is all that needs to be said about this.
You know, I have removed his podcast from our archive,
I've taken down our social media posts that involve him.
And it's just a bummer.
Yeah, it's not that hard to not be in the Epstein files.
You know, and if, if, my only thing is, you know, my,
I first kind of interface with him, like, as a media personality, I never met him.
But my first kind of taste of him was during the COVID pandemic.
And he was saying some things that were, like, that I thought were really smart.
and thoughtful. And obviously he has that side of him too. But I didn't realize that whole time until
this all came out and this reporting has come out. I didn't realize he wasn't a board certified physician.
This is the first time I heard about that. So it does call into question kind of for all of us to like,
who are we getting our advice from, where are we getting it? Are we sure this is sound advice?
I'm not saying everything he said isn't good. I mean, he's obviously got something. He's done some good.
but like it does make us wonder like if i had known he wasn't a board certified position would i have
been impressed with his COVID like i don't know and maybe that shouldn't matter but like because i'm not
i'm not in the medical field but hearing it now is kind of like oh wow that too and so when i you know
i read his apology and i just i was i didn't fully buy it to be quite honest with you and and so um yeah
i mean nobody in the files claims to have seen anything bad right they all they all they're
They all have the same similar excuse.
So it's unfortunate.
To me, I think, okay, what is,
is there a lesson that we can learn
or what do we extract from this that we can reflect on?
And when I think about this situation,
I see it as a pretty classic case
of someone who let the allure or the prospect
of proximity to power and wealth
and influence like warp his moral compass.
you know, this is somebody for whom that was important, and Jeffrey Epstein was a vehicle to that.
And because of that, he allowed this to justify overlooking glaring character flaws and, you know,
appalling, unlawful and ethically bankrupt behavior for the sake of, you know, personal gain or personal, you know,
eventual aggrandizement. So on that level, it is a morality tale that I think we could take to heart.
And I think in the context of the health and well-being and fitness and nutrition, like kind of, you know, quote-unquote influencer space, you know, whether it's fitness information or nutrition guidance or advice on longevity that you're seeking out, you know, there's a lot of different people on the internet who are saying lots of things. Some of them are giving good advice and some of them are sociopathic grifters. And I think, you know, we're all, you know, well-advised to kind of
of calibrate our credulity monitors a little bit.
And I say that for myself as well.
Like, you know, how can I up level my vetting
before having somebody on this show?
You know, I think is one message that I'm taking for myself.
And, you know, I think Brad Stolberg said it best
when he said, you know, you don't need to be a low integrity
asshole to be serious about performance.
You can be a good person too.
And I think there are good people out there
doing good work. So yeah, it's left me reflecting upon how I move forward through this, how I
message my audience, how I make decisions about who I'm going to, you know, engage in conversation
across the table here. And my own vulnerabilities to credulity, you know, like, you know, I think
that's worthy of investigation on my part. I'm as vulnerable as anybody to being manipulated by
charismatic individuals. And so I'm checking myself on that and in doing my own inventory on this,
especially as it pertains to folks in the longevity space, because I think there's a lot of
nonsense out there right now, a lot of people who are out over their skis, who are communicating
perhaps an unearned degree of certainty regarding their advice and their counsel.
Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, we're all vulnerable to it because,
because we, it just is like inherent
when you see somebody with a lot of followers
and that we think that they've been vetted.
You know what I mean?
We think that's a vetting.
It's like a default thing where our brain just turns off
a certain skepticism that often happens.
Now maybe we're more, we've seen it enough
to where we have a little bit more skepticism,
but certainly when social media was first popping,
it became, oh, wow, look, I want to listen to this doctor.
And then you, you know, so,
I think we're all vulnerable to it.
And I don't know if there's an answer.
Like, you know, we can't fully know, right?
We can't fully know.
And some of this stuff gets revealed over the arc of someone's career.
And he's certainly not alone in somebody showing up in those files that we are shocked by.
He's not.
And he's not the worst offender.
And so by a long shot.
So it's just this crazy cascade.
But like you said, it's a lesson for us all.
to like, you know, the more certain you are of your beliefs tends to be, like, the real scientists
are never sure their beliefs.
You know what I mean?
And so that's something that I think we should all take it to heart.
It's like we shouldn't be so sure of basically almost anything now, you know, unless it's like
a law of physics.
At some point, we have to leave some space for us to know that what we're hearing isn't
100% true.
And the person who's telling it to us is someone to take with a little more skepticism.
Well said.
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All right, let's move on.
A lot of people are asking me about how my recovery from my spinal fusion surgery is going.
So just really quickly, I just eclipsed nine months.
The surgery was May 8th.
We're now, we're recording this on February.
What is it, the ninth today, the 10th.
So a couple days past nine months.
At six months, I got the green light to start.
a very, very low-key, modest exercise routine,
and I've sort of built on that very gradually.
So for context, in mid-November,
I had ballooned up to 207 pounds, which is a lot for me.
That's almost as much as I weighed pre-kind
of life transformation at 40.
I think I was like 210, 215 around that time.
And what was amazing is how much it snuck up on me.
Like I didn't even realize I was gaining weight.
Obviously I wasn't being physically active
and I had the big beard and like the whole thing
and I was walking and I knew I was like getting out of shape
and getting a little puffy or whatever.
But then I bought one of those body composition scales
like when it to celebrate like six months
and I was like now I'm gonna like really hold myself accountable
and get on track and it was kind of shocking
to realize how much weight I'd gained.
But I've lost 30 pounds of it.
I'm down to like 177.
now and kind of stabilize there.
My weight is remaining the same,
but my body fat percentage is going down
and my lean muscle mass is going up
while I stay at this same weight,
which feels really good.
So basically just been on the indoor bike trainer,
alternating that with days of functional fitness,
like light lifting, you know, kind of like dynamic exercises
in this little home gym that I have.
And that's,
that's been working good and it feels really good
to like reconnect with my physical body
and remember like, oh, this is what I loved about this.
Because there was a moment there where, you know,
I'm working on this book and I'm walking around the house
in a bathrobe with this big beard.
I looked in the mirror, I was like,
what are you going to be Julian Schnabel now?
Like, what is going on?
You know, it's like, you're Malamu Graham, gruboff.
You still have some youth in you, you know,
like you don't have to descend into like, you know,
the pot-bellied, you know, like writer guy.
So, anyway,
Anyway, nice to know that I can still drop a little bit of weight.
How'd you do it?
I mean, I just got really rigorous with my nutrition.
I basically just got really binary with it.
Like I basically eat the same thing every day.
Like I eat a big bowl of black beans.
That's it.
And then this salad that I get at Airwine is called the,
I think it's called the Thai tofu salad.
So it's like tofu lettuce.
bunch of veggies in it, carrots and stuff like that.
And so I'm just modestly calorie restricting.
But not noting it, not noting it, no.
And the main thing is like I cut out like all bread and pasta,
like any kind of, any kind of like refined grains.
Like that's a big one.
And I cut out like late night snacking and eating.
And just like by adhering to that and not,
and keeping things really simple, just progressively,
it's been working, which is good.
So I'm starting to feel a little bit of vitality
come back into my body.
I still have a long way to go.
I have, you know, tightness and discomfort in my lower back.
Like the fusion doesn't fully set for 12 to 18 months.
So I have to be very careful.
And so even as I start to get a little bit more fit, I have to hold myself back.
And because I'm writing this book, I have these other rules around my gym time.
So I generally wake up at like 3.45 or 4 in the morning and I just get a cup of coffee.
I go right into the gym and I restrict my workout to one hour because I've got to get to the page, you know, or I've got to prep for the day's podcast.
because left in my own devices, I'll just be in the gym for hours,
but a lot of it is me like on my phone or something like that.
So I leave my phone out of the gym.
I set a timer and I go in there and I hold myself to that.
So that I'm not overextending myself and I still have like good energy
when I go right into like focused deep work mode after that.
And it's been fun.
It's required a tremendous amount of patience.
But it's also allowed me to focus on A,
the gratitude of being able to do this again
after not being able to do it,
which has brought a lot more joy into it.
I think in the past,
a big part of my relationship with fitness
has been so focused on performance goals
or trying to achieve something
so that I can be perceived in a certain way,
and that has created at times
a bit of an unhealthy or less joyous experience of it.
I still love it,
but not always doing it for the right reasons.
And I'm really focused on doing it for the nourishing aspects of it
because I love it, not necessarily
because it's tied to some kind of performance goal.
I need those goals to progress my way forward,
but I'm not so tied to them in like an identity defining way
as I have been in the past, which allows me to kind of
have a more relaxed relationship with it.
That has been new, different,
fun and hopefully, you know,
demonstrates some level of like personal growth
on my part.
I think so.
And this opportunity, I've said this before,
to rebuild my body from the ground up.
Like what a gift, like, okay, you have to start over from zero.
You gotta wipe the slate clean, tabla rasa.
What would you do if you had to relearn,
like how to hold your body position upright, your posture?
What is proper walking?
form look like, you know, forget about running.
Like, what does it mean to, you know, do a standing lunge
with perfect technique?
And because I'm not in a rush and because I'm so limited
in what I'm allowed to do right now,
it's allowed me to really hone in and focus on those little
details to build very slowly this brand new foundation
that hopefully, you know, will be very sturdy for longevity.
reasons like going down the line, you know, like building on top of something that's very stable
rather than just like, let's just start running again, you know, forget about like warming up or
like all the things that I've done, all the mistakes that I've made in the past that you can get
away with when you're younger that I no longer can afford. But that, like all things,
opens the door to possibility and opportunities. And so like, okay, let's do it right for once,
you know, and see what happens that way. And that's been a fun kind of like construction project.
You know, it's so funny, I can relate to so much of that.
I was joking last year with you not on the air that like that your back, that your back injury was contagious because I had the craziest injury year last year and not to bore, not to bore the audience with my little injuries.
But I had so many different things.
Some's more significant than others.
And this year I'm doing the same thing.
Like I was trying to reach a certain goal with like weights towards the end of last year.
Now I'm just going to do the lightest weights where I can feel my actual shoulders working where I could feel.
where I could feel the right muscle working
for the right exercise. I'm rebuilding.
Now I look at my low back, my herniated disc flare up,
and I think of it as like a great wake-up call
to finally get my upper back going
so that I'm holding myself appropriately.
I can finally swim feeling my actual shoulders working,
not the joint.
I was putting all the pressure on my joint.
And so I wasn't swimming correctly for like my entire life.
And so I can relate to so much of that.
And that seems like to be the kind of the call for us if we want to continue to stay active, you know, as we get older and older.
Like, it's interesting. It's hard to do that. You have to be forced to do that. And like I was forced to do it. Now this year I'm looking at this year, I'm not making any fitness goals. I just want to be able to, you know, stay contained and build on this and just get like start doing light stuff and modest advancement over the course of the year.
year and hopefully just stay healthy, like is my goal now. And it's, but you're right. When you take
the pressure off it, it gives you more time to work and it gives you more time to just enjoy the
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Let's turn to some listener questions.
Okay.
These are questions you put the call out on Instagram,
and these are some that came back.
Awesome.
First, listen to a question.
When all hope seems to be lost,
what is the constant reminder or quote,
you keep telling yourself?
I mean, that's a dark space.
If you're in that headspace where you feel like all hope seems to be lost,
that's a dark hole.
It's hard to dig yourself out of it,
and there's no platitude that's going to snap you out of it.
But when I found myself in those darker moments,
there are a couple, I think, hopefully helpful things
that I can share about how to process that experience,
think about it and slowly claw your way out.
And the first is, and all of this, I should say up front,
like almost all of it germinates from my experience
in recovery, in the recovery community,
which is a community that has no shortage of quips
and phrases and, you know, bumper sticker,
you know, sentences for situations like this.
Not the least of which is this two shall pass,
you know, basically it's like,
that's an AAPRIN.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know if AAA invented it,
but it's one that gets bandied around
in the rooms quite frequently,
which is essentially a reminder that no matter
what you're experiencing,
like you will not be stuck.
there no matter what, even if you do nothing
and just sit in it, it will pass.
Because everything is always in flux at all times.
And we have this irrational perception
of permanence in our lives.
Like we just think we are who we are
and we're gonna look the way we look
and our lives are gonna be the same forevermore.
And that's not how subatomic particles work.
That's not how the universe works.
There is nothing in the way.
the universe from the largest stars and solar systems
and galaxies all the way down to subatomic particles
that is ever static.
Everything is always in motion constantly.
And so whatever you're experiencing,
whatever you're experiencing, it will change.
And within that, I think there is room to then understand
if that's true, then there is always the possibility for hope.
No matter how,
far down you have fallen, like there is always the possibility for hope and a way to see yourself through it.
And so when I think about this conundrum, again, I'm always thinking, like, what is the growth opportunity or what is the learning opportunity of this particular dark moment or hardship that I'm experiencing?
And it's sort of convenient to say this, but I do believe it's true.
everything that happens to you,
especially these negative things,
is designed bespoke for your growth and evolution
and can be this really powerful change agent
if you decide it to be.
So when you're in the muck,
generally it's because you have participated
on some level in creating the muck.
And these situations are always beckoning you
to look at something about your,
that you'd rather not.
At least that's how it's always been for me.
And so the question then becomes,
like if there's a reminder or another kind of like phrase
to turn to, it's how did I help create this situation?
What is my part in giving rise to the situation
that I'm in right now?
Because the job is to understand the behavior
that led you to this place, to own that,
and then to make amends for how it impacts
others, another big AA thing, how it impacted others negatively,
and then to figure out how to change your behavior,
modify it going forward to figure out a more, you know,
positive response to a particular stimulus
or set of circumstances or way in which you respond
or react to, you know, something that happens in your life.
So boiling this down to the 12 steps,
it maps on pretty seamlessly.
Like step four is the inventory.
This is where you're really doing a thorough
and fearless kind of objective forensic analysis
of your behavior.
Like how did I get here?
Well, you know, this is how I behave in these situations,
getting really honest with yourself.
Step nine is the amends.
Well, this behavior, you know, created all this chaos
and harmed these other people in this way.
I need to make that right.
It's not an apology.
Like, how can I,
serve these other individuals and modify my behavior.
So, A, I don't behave this way again,
and I can do whatever I can do to kind of undo whatever harm that I created.
And then step 10 is the daily inventory.
Like, this is a daily practice.
So that you're in the habit of this analysis amends
and kind of honest accounting of your behavior in advance
of finding yourself in these, like, relatively dark holes
or hopeless spots so that you can kind of course correct
before they become too dire.
And beyond that, like, I'm sympathetic to anybody
who's in that situation or state of affairs.
I've been there myself.
And if you're in it again, like these words
are probably not going to be that helpful
because when you're in it, there's a sense of paralysis.
We've talked about this, Adam.
Like, when things are so hard, when somebody says,
well, you just have to do this,
one thing or this other thing, like you just can't.
Like you can't summon the will to do it.
Right.
So when you're in that state, like when you,
or you're in a situation where you just don't know
what the next right thing is for you to do
to claw your way out of it, my go-to reflex,
it's always the same, is pretty simple.
You just reach out and help somebody else.
Even if you feel like you're at your lowest moment
to pick up the phone, call somebody you know
who's having a hard time.
It just has to be something simple.
It doesn't have to be a big dramatic overture.
Because, and the reason for this is that
it is the antidote to self-obsession.
It will take you out of your, like, frame of mind
that is so focused on your problem and your world.
And by investing yourself in somebody else's,
it's not only curative, like it's like this, it's like this self, like suddenly you're not
obsessing on yourself and your problem. Like that in and of itself, um, ameliorates the pain of
whatever situation you're navigating at the time. And because self-obsession is really the default
stance when you are being dismantled. So if your life's falling apart, everything's going to shit or
whatever, you're going to stew in it and just be thinking about yourself all the time and how you're
going to solve this problem and how terrible it is and why it's unfair and all of these things,
none of which are helpful. Even when you don't know what the next step is to rebuild or, you know,
reassemble these pieces that are now kind of, you know, splayed out in your fractured life, just by
investing yourself in somebody else cures you of that self-obsession. It allows your unconscious
mind to work on that problem. And it lowers the anxiety,
and the fear impulse and all of these other psychological defense mechanisms
that actually aren't serving to help you
or to solve the problem.
And it's incredibly inspiring.
I mean, it's like two things you said there
that I can relate to the first.
You said, this two shall pass.
I remember when I was going through my divorce,
it was kind of like my midlife crisis.
It was very painful and I felt I was wronged.
And I felt humiliated and I felt all the things.
And because this was a marriage that hadn't even been a year,
you know, so I felt like all these kinds of unravel.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And it just felt like the whole things were unraveling.
And I was at dinner with a friend
and my friend Bruce kind of looked at me and he goes,
you know, in 10 years, this whole thing's gonna be a blip.
Just a blip.
And it felt like such, I felt like I was under a boulder
and the idea of it being a pebble,
like I was like, yeah, sure dude.
You might say that, but, and he was 100% right.
You know, like, it's been over 10 years now.
And it was a blip, but man, was it heavy at the time?
You know, like, and now I considered a total blip,
and I don't, even though, like, I guess the,
what happened hasn't changed.
My relationship to it has changed to the point where I don't feel victimized at all.
And so it's like my entire perception has shifted.
So it's not just that the incident is smaller.
It's that my understanding of it is completely morphed through time.
And so, like, it's not just that it passes.
It's like your relationship to the events completely change.
And that's hard to remember while it's painful.
It's very hard.
And most people can't.
And it doesn't really matter.
You just have to survive the day.
But I think that that really resonates.
And then in terms of service, I meant years ago I was down at the border doing some stories.
and this was at the time where asylum cases were in like Mexico and waiting.
And so they were like, this was, I think it was Nogales.
It was outside Tucson.
I was down at the border.
And I went to this one place that offered one meal a day to all the asylum cases.
And so for many of them, that was their only meal they were going to eat that day.
But it was being, you know, Tucson volunteers were coming to serve it.
So it was like gringoes from north of the border were coming to put the meals out.
And then it was all migrants from all.
over the world that happened to come through that we're waiting on the southern border and of all the
people lined up there was one guy that was out there sweeping the sidewalk in the street and he wasn't just
waiting in line he was sweeping the sidewalk in the street this is in Mexico sweeping the street and he was a
honduran immigrant whose family was in the United States now and honduras at that time was falling
apart it was like a narco state we know that right it's been famously detailed and it was extremely
unsafe and it was basically a failed state almost a failed state and so that's why a lot of
hondonans were coming here and so he was there and he was basically he couldn't do anything he couldn't
work in mexico he didn't have money he was in this line for the handout lunch but he was sweeping the
sidewalk in the street and then when we went in he wasn't just waiting to be served he was wiping down the
tables he was he wasn't just sitting there and taking the meal he wanted to be a part of it and
And then when it came time to say a prayer, guess who spoke up?
And it's just so interesting because I'll never forget that.
It was extremely inspired.
I remember talking to other people about it.
It was always inspired.
Everybody I talked to, it's extremely inspiring.
And it's a great example of the service idea of someone who is in a situation he could not control.
And so he chose to be an active participant.
It's hard to do, man, one person out of the whole group that I saw doing that.
It's not easy what you're saying.
easy. But if you can pull it off, there's so much power in it. It's so inspiring.
It's a beautiful story. Yeah. Cool. All right, let's do the, let's do next one.
For those who are all or nothing, is a middle ground possible in health and nutrition?
No, it's impossible. Sorry. Either you're just all or nothing. All in or completely out.
What about me makes you think all or nothing? I am like the least all or nothing. I'm like the least all or nothing.
or nothing person ever.
I am an all or nothing person, but, you know, I've grown a little bit.
I would say that I'm evidence of somebody who is slowly getting used to not being an all,
all or nothing personality.
Because you've been all and you've been nothing a couple different times.
You go back and forth, you know.
You take the high with the low.
Pendulum.
Yeah.
It's exciting.
You know what I mean?
You know, that's the thing when you get sober and you're like, well,
Everything's just kind of like the curve,
the curve gets flattened.
Right.
And you're like, yeah, it's all boring.
You're like Ray Leota at the end of Goodfellis.
It's like, you know, I'll take those lows for the highs
and you know, all of that.
So, you know, I get that.
I'm, you know, I am as prone to extremes as anybody.
For those of you who relate to that, you know that not only is it,
like I said, like exciting, like it's dopaminergic,
you know, it's very energizing.
It's a productive,
form of energy that drives life results. There's no question about it. But like all superpowers,
they have their kryptonite. And I think for the all in kind of personality, it can be quite
destructive. If you don't check it, at the very best, it's going to lead you in the direction of burnout.
But, you know, it can also be completely ruinous because it runs roughshod over everything else in your life.
So if you are an extreme personality, congratulations.
It is something that you can leverage for good, you know.
And it can be a very powerful animating life force that can, you know, drive you to achieve great things.
But it has to be properly harnessed and deployed in strategic doses that make room for recovery, room to nourish yourself and to, you know, nourish yourself and to,
make sure that you are attending to the other things in your life that are important. Because if you
don't do that, your whole life is going to implode ultimately. Like there is this dark side of the
extreme personality archetype. And I think what's also instructive or perhaps hopefully valuable
is trying to understand what is beneath that archetype. Like what is driving that proclivity to just
go all out like, you know, pedal to the metal like all the time. And if you really deconstruct
it, it's generally being driven by an imposter syndrome, a profound sense of unworthiness,
low self-esteem, this like deep-seated need to like prove yourself to earn acceptance or
love. Because without it or without it or without what it gets you,
you are like, and I know this, I'm saying this personally,
like there's a sense of not deserving love.
Like you have to earn it.
You have to go out and do these things
and like ply your extreme personality trait
to achieve things to show the world
and prove to yourself that you are, you know,
worthy of breathing air and deserving of being accepted
and loved by other people.
And so obviously that's a sort of broken psychological state.
Essentially what I'm saying is that a lot
of extreme behavior is being driven or underscored by fear.
And I think once you realize this,
it becomes incumbent upon you to try to figure out
how to understand that impulse within yourself
at first, learning how to like channel it
at the right time and quell it when it's leading your life astray,
but ultimately the job is to figure out
how you're gonna heal it.
And that's scary because it's like asking somebody
to, you know, shirk,
their superpower, like, hey, this superpower, this thing that you're so attached to that
you've crafted an entire identity around. Like, I'm the all in person. I go hard. And I go, you know,
I go all day or I can outwork everybody in the room. This gets intertwined into your identity. And then
the prospect of like letting it go or just entangling yourself from it feels like a threat. You know,
like you're not going to want to do that, right? Because if you don't have that, then you're not going to be
be able to like achieve your goals or pursue your dreams.
So.
And beyond that it's like it also gets into your,
how you view yourself when you look in the mirror.
Right. Yeah.
Who am I if I'm not the person who does that,
you know, who operates this way.
Yeah.
And that's a threat, but you know,
this is a process that I would say that I'm in.
And I think there's liberation on the other side of that,
you know, because once you realize like,
hey, you know, maybe you're not an imposter,
or maybe you're not completely, you know,
useless or unlovable.
You know, there's a self-love,
you know, loving kindness kind of compassion
that will lead to, you know,
becoming a healthier, more fully actualized, you know,
human being.
And it also requires that you deconstruct
this perfectionism myth.
You know, I think if you're striving to these extremes,
you are wed on some level to this idea
that perhaps you can be perfect
or there is this perfection that you're chasing.
And that's a recipe for unhappiness.
Like you're never gonna achieve that.
You're setting yourself up for a life of frustration
and discontent.
I was listening when I was on my long drive the other day
to a podcast with David Sanra's podcast,
who hosts the founders podcast.
And he's like,
he's such a,
He's so good at podcasting,
and he's kind of obsessed with the people
who are the best in the world at something,
and he was reviewing Andre Agassiz's memoir open.
And he does such a great job of like,
kind of deconstructing like these life lessons
out of this book, Senra does.
But there's this part in that incredible memoir
where Andre Agassi is losing all the time,
and he's miserable, he hates tennis,
but he brings Brad Gilbert into the equation
to become his coach.
And Brad's the guy who's like,
you've gotta let go of this perfectionism.
You go out onto the court and every shot
you wanted to be like the perfect shot.
You're trying to be perfect in every volley.
And he's like, you don't have to be perfect.
You just have to beat this guy
and you're so much better than this guy.
If you would just release that attachment to perfectionism
and just hit the ball and play tennis,
you're gonna win like almost every time.
And it wasn't until he could,
could kind of grok that and really release his relationship
with perfectionism that he was able to begin
not only winning again, but enjoying tennis.
And this becomes a big piece in his equation
for curing himself of his dissatisfaction with life.
And then of course service becomes this huge piece.
Like he realizes that that's really the only thing
that's important that gives his life meaning,
which goes back to the importance of disabusing ourselves
of our self-obsession.
through simple acts of service to other people.
But I just thought that was so interesting
that somebody who was so good at what he does,
the best in the world, Andre Agassi,
is in this process of constant self-flagellation.
And I think a lot of extreme personality tendencies
emanate from that place.
Like, I have to go harder than everyone else
and prove to others and to myself
that I can do this thing.
And it's almost a martyrdom,
practice, it is a, it is a means of self-flagellation
that ultimately becomes unhealthy.
And fundamentally on the identity piece,
it's just a story.
Right. I'm the guy who works there.
I'm the guy who does this is who I am or whatever.
And it's not real, you know,
you've just decided that it's real
and you have the power to rewrite that narrative.
And I'm not saying it's easy because I'm like I said,
I'm kind of in this process right now.
So I'll keep you posted.
Which is interesting because like you're very generous to,
I mean like you don't expect that kind of all or nothing
from the people that you work with.
You don't expect it from your kids.
You're not like that to anybody but yourself, right?
And that also is I think a hallmark for this all or nothing thing.
Most of it is just inwardly projected, not necessarily outward.
I guess it can be.
But like, and so I just find that.
I just wanted to flag that for you.
What do you think of that?
No, I don't expect, I don't,
I don't layer that template on anyone else
and expect them to, you know, kind of pursue things,
you know, in the way that I do or have, you know?
Like, I don't think it's the, you know, a great way.
Like, I was with, I was with Malcolm Gladwell a couple weeks ago.
And we're talking and he looks at me and he goes,
the thing about you is,
you always have to do it the hard way.
He says that to you?
Yeah, he goes,
you always have to make it the hardest thing.
It's like, you know, the diet and the ultra-mit,
like all the, and the swimming and the, you know,
like, it's like, why are you making it all so hard?
And I was like, I don't know, it's a pretty good,
that's a good question.
I can't help it.
So then you don't have to be all or nothing.
What's the, if you could just give one or two pieces of advice,
how do you find the middle?
How do you orient towards the middle?
be your advice there.
I think just giving yourself permission
to not be perfect
and to not self-flagellate
for falling short of some imagined standard
that you're setting for yourself,
that you have invested, you know,
the stakes of your identity in
and just being a little bit more gentle with yourself.
And I think this surgery recovery process
has been really nourishing
and instructive in this process for me,
because I'm not under any illusion
that I'm trying to get back to becoming the person I was
before the athlete or whoever it is.
I'm interested in who I can become
as a direct result of being forced to sit still
and like marinate in my inadequacies
and find a way to have compassion for myself
and figure out a way forward that is nourishing
but detached from identity stakes, you know what I mean?
And so finding that middle ground is about giving yourself permission
with compassion to not have to live up
to some imaginary standard because your self-worth is on the line.
The only thing I'd add to that is the conception of self can also change.
And if you think of yourself, not just this contained being,
born here, living there, doing this, not doing that.
If you think of it more in an expansive way is that I am energy here on earth.
And, you know, if you start to go into mindfulness,
if you start to get into meditation,
even if you sit for five minutes a day in a beautiful place on a park bench
or in your house, five or ten minutes a day,
you start to, that can start to be untangled.
and then really what you are is how you is is more than just your self-contained
personality it's more than what you like and don't like it's more than what you want to do
what you've done and haven't done it's so much bigger and so if we can connect in which you've
talked about so many times if you can connect to that higher consciousness also at the same time
then you'll find all the rest of it is almost minuscule and you can feel more relaxed in
in staying in this middle balanced place.
It's, it can really recharge your life
in an entirely different way.
Yeah, and like whatever you're going through
is unlikely to be something that gets brought up
at your memorial after you pass for perspective.
Unless you're climbing Taipei 101, then it might come up.
Maybe, yeah, that's an exception.
All right, one more question.
All right.
Best advice to change a 37 year career
that has you burned out.
That's a tailor-made rich roll question.
Yeah, it's a little tricky because it's unclear
whether this career was something that was unfulfilling all along
or whether it was fulfilling, but now after 37 years,
this person is burned out.
So with that in mind, it's difficult to,
you know, kind of know which thread to pull on here.
I mean, listen, there's a couple things you can do.
I mean, you can quit.
You can.
I know the circumstances of this person's life, but life is short.
And if you are that burned out and that unhappy, that is always a possibility.
I'm not saying it's easy.
I'm not even saying it's the right thing for you to do or rational.
And we all have responsibilities and mouths to feed and bills to pay and all the like.
So I don't say that cavalierly.
In most instances, that is not the solution.
My best suggestion is to invest in your curiosity.
You can stay in this career without quitting it.
Perhaps you can ameliorate the burnout
or find meaning in other aspects of your life
that serves as a buffer for whatever you're experiencing
in your career.
So this is not to say just, well, quit your job
and go pursue your passion.
But I think for those that are feeling
a lack of direction or a little bit of confusion
as to what to do next at a certain sense,
stage of life, my go-to kind of default move is always to pivot to curiosity. Where does your
curiosity naturally gravitate towards? And not judging it, but making the choice to follow it without
judging it. Like, oh, maybe it's something you always wanted to do that you never gave yourself
permission to do. It could be a simple, fun little, you know, hobby that you spend a half an hour
or a week on or something like that.
But I think saying yes to that,
once you start developing the muscle memory
and the habit of that yes
and really carving time out of your day
to whether it's journal or some other kind of mindfulness practice
to really hone your attention on your curiosity
and take inventory of what it's trying to tell you
or where it's trying to lead you.
And honoring that as a sacred practice,
that will lead you to other opportunities
and other opportunities from that and so on and so on
to create a domino effect that will eventually almost guaranteed
set you on a trajectory that will lead you to some place
where you're gonna find some kind of meaning.
Maybe it's a job, it's not necessarily a new job
or a new career, but something that will provide your life
with the meaning that your career is not able to do for you.
And it's really as simple as that, I think.
I think the other point, and we were discussing this question
before the podcast, is if it is a situation in which
you've been in this career for 37 years
and you've never liked it, right?
Like, not for nothing,
like maybe we need to have a conversation
about your relationship with healthy confrontation.
Like, how have you allowed yourself
to stay in a situation for nearly four decades
that was not nourishing to you?
And again, there's real life circumstances
that come into play here.
Like sometimes you suck it up and you do this thing
that you don't really like doing because you're responsible
for other people and I'm not, so I'm not, you know,
dismissing that in any way.
But I think there is something to be learned
by reflecting on that question a little bit.
Like, you know, what is it inside of you
that made it okay for you to live, you know,
a gigantic chunk of your life in a substandard situation
that was, you know, that left you burned out
and, and, and, and, you know,
and feeling more empty than perhaps you thought you would
after spending 37 years doing a certain thing.
Yeah, healthy confrontation.
And what can you do to adjust that or address that
and how can you overcome whatever personality default trait
or kind of reflexive decision making strategy that you have
that landed you there?
And that goes back to kind of the step four inventory.
Like you need to inventory, your decision making,
your behavior, your avoid,
avoidant tendencies, you know, all of these things that contribute to create, over time,
contribute to creating this life that you're experiencing now.
That's interesting.
Healthy confrontation.
I never heard that phrase before.
I have a problem with basically all confrontation, healthy and unhealthy.
So I feel if this person is there, I get it.
I've been able to like figure out a way to live a life that is meaningful and kind of self-actualized
regardless of that somehow.
While dodging, while dodging confrontation.
I think it's because I know how to build rapport.
And so my report, my building of rapport
has allowed me to dodge the confrontation.
Your political animal.
Is that what it is?
I don't know if I'm revealing too much here.
I think that's very well said.
The curiosity piece is always like-
Well, that comes into play here as well.
Getting curious about what led you to this place
and getting curious about what another chapter
might look like for you.
Yeah, and then also just
being curious about something you always wanted to follow.
Either, however you ended up here, that also helps.
And yeah.
But the big piece here, and it's not unrelated to the service idea,
is trying to find something that is bigger than yourself.
You know, and this often gets couched in like a mission.
Like, what's your mission?
You know, it's like, Scott Harrison,
he's gonna like solve the global clean water crisis.
Like, you know, there's a, there's grand division.
like that, but it doesn't have to be that big.
It just has to be about something that is contributive
beyond like your personal aggrandizement.
So it can't just be like, I need more money,
I need a bigger salary, or I need a corner office,
or something like that.
It's like, what are you actually doing
with your limited time on earth that is additive
in a way that is benefiting, you know,
benefiting a cause, other people, or something else
that is larger than your,
personal concerns in your life. Yeah. Beautiful stuff because if you could find that or you can just
even if it's just like you always want to play guitar and you never allowed yourself to do it and you
pick it up and you spend 15 minutes a day doing it. It's like that love can just inspire where
the burnout had left you. You know, it could fill that burnout space and that even if it just makes you
happy. Yeah. Then you're a happier person and then your interactions with other people are better.
And then that sets in motion, you know, a series of a chain reaction of events that, you know,
is very gradually, but, you know, most certainly moving your life in a different and better direction.
100%.
All right.
We did it.
That's it for Roll on today.
All right.
We're done, dude.
That's it.
Okay.
I promised we would land this plane under 90 minutes.
We got there?
We got it.
All right.
We'll be back soon with more.
Thank you, my friend.
Thanks, man.
Good to be here.
Cheers.
Peace.
That's it for today.
Thank you for listening.
I truly hope you enjoyed the conversation.
To learn more about today's guests, including links and resources related to everything discussed today,
visit the episode page at richroll.com, where you can find the entire podcast archive,
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Peace.
Plants.
Namaste.
