The Rich Roll Podcast - Decoding Transformation: Presence Is The Residence of Potential

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Why can some people change and others cannot? What are the determining variables that spark growth and expansion? Transformation—the how, when, and why of change—is a landscape of dichotomies. It is both an art and a science. It is both a mindset and a practice. It is action. But it is also stillness. It is both spiritual and practical. Today I venture out of my comfort zone once again to share some thoughts on transformation in monologue format—synthesizing 56 years on this planet and over 750 conversations with changemakers across the world—into a podcast experiment I hope provides value. Everything I am expressing here is a needed reminder to myself as much as to you. I am certainly no master. My hope is that this episode inspires you to take ownership of your own growth journey—and embody positive change on a daily basis. Show notes + MORE Watch on YouTube Newsletter Sign-Up Today’s Sponsors: Seed: seed.com/RICHROLL Momentous: LiveMomentous.com/richroll Whoop: http://www.whoop.com/ Native: nativedeo.com/rrp Peace + Plants, Rich

The Rich Roll Podcast. Hey everybody, welcome to the podcast. So last month with some admitted trepidation, I took a little step outside my comfort zone to post my first monologue episode. For those that listened, you know that I was quite unsure how it would be received,

half expecting it might just land with a silent thud, but instead to my delight, it was widely embraced. Further evidence, of course, that growth occurs when the courage to scratch the creative itch trumps the fear of how the offering will be received. It's fear that keeps us paralyzed. It keeps us small, muted, underexpressed, but courage,

on the other hand, leads to action. Not that what I did was courageous in any way, just illustrating the point that this is what you got to do. And that success or failure is unimportant really in comparison to the opportunity for learning, for expansion and the growth that follows. This is all a long way of saying that confronting, working through and overcoming what Steven Pressfield calls resistance is always worth it. So in any event, the response to that monologue

being essentially positive episode 747, in case you missed it, a meditation on our complicated relationship with the digital world, was encouraging, encouraging enough for me to give this another spin, despite being in the throes of some pretty extreme jet lag at the moment, having just returned from Europe last night, all of which is a transparent disclaimer

for the quality of my articulation today. In any event, that articulation, that monologue is coming right up in uninterrupted form after this quick word from the sponsors who made this episode possible. We're brought to you today by recovery.com. I've been in recovery for a long time. It's not hyperbolic to say that I owe everything good in my life to sobriety.

And it all began with treatment and experience that I had that quite literally saved my life. And in the many years since, I've in turn helped many suffering addicts and their loved ones find treatment. And with that, I know all too well just how confusing and how overwhelming and how challenging it can be to find the right place and the right level of care, especially because, unfortunately, not all treatment resources adhere to ethical practices. to ethical practices. It's a real problem. A problem I'm now happy and proud to share has been solved by the people at recovery.com who created an online support portal designed to guide, to support, and empower you to find the ideal level of care tailored to your personal needs. They've partnered with the best global behavioral health providers to cover the full spectrum of behavioral health disorders, including substance use disorders, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, gambling addictions, and more. Navigating their site is simple. Search by insurance coverage, location, treatment type, you name it. Plus, you can read reviews from former patients to help you decide.

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So I'm often asked what my podcast is about, how I define the lens through which I approach public conversation. And it's a difficult question to answer because the podcast really isn't about any one thing. On a basic level, I suppose it's an external projection of my interior self, an extension of my curiosity at a specific moment shared publicly in real time. And as such, I tend to cast a wide net following that curiosity to traverse a pretty wide spectrum of topics with a broad diversity of all kinds of individuals

of varying perspective. So how does one concisely define a show that explores the perils of addiction, environmental awareness, how to best parent teens, the future of AI, the limits of athletic potential, or how to understand consciousness, extend health span, and what it means to pursue a meaningful life? Well, I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about this and really the best answer I can come up with, a singular unifying theme that captures the essence

of what I'm grappling with and what I'm trying to understand and what I'm trying to share is the nature of transformation. In other words, how exactly does one go from where they currently reside, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, to where they aspire to be, to traverse the delta, the difference,

the terrain of space-time that exists between point A, who and where you are now to point B, the future self of your imagination. This topic, transformation, I think is pretty universal in its applicability because irrespective of who you are or where you find yourself in life, we all, all of us harbor this inherent animating energy,

this aspiration that's built into us, be it a whisper or in some a roar to change, to alter, to improve in some way our lot in life. Some find this process easier and more facile than others. Those who successfully change for the better, even if that change is minute, put themselves in a position to experience an altered state of self that expands the aperture of possibility. It's like this shift in potential energy that breeds confidence, that engenders optimism and encourages further exploration into one's untapped potential.

The result, not surprisingly, is more action. And when that action, even in microscopic form, is compounded, a precious momentum begins to emerge that over time produces this amazing self-perpetuating cycle of positive change, continually reinforcing, growth accelerating, potential elevating generator of transformation powerful enough to actually, and quite literally as a matter of fact, constructively reconstruct an individual top to bottom wholesale.

And not for nothing, all the people that that person happens to come into contact with as well. On the other hand, there's a whole set of other people on the other side, perhaps most of us that find change elusive. And for some impossible even, this like fickle, shiny object of desire

that's just out of reach, always just out of reach. And despite the same desire to change, somehow for this group of people, it just remains out of grasp. There might be intermittent bursts of inspiration or motivation, but that always fades quickly. And it's unable to sustain the occasional fits and starts at expansion that somehow always ultimately contract

like snap back to the norm. And that's something that gets processed as failure. Failure that over time dampens the spirit, undermines confidence and keeps us stuck, keeps us defeated, paralyzed, our souls eroded. We end up relinquishing even the attempt, living out the remainder of our days in what Henry David Thoreau characterized as a quiet resignation to a life of desperation. So the questions reduced to their essence are, why is it exactly that some can change and others cannot? What are the determining

qualities or variables that predict growth and expansion over regression or resignation? Is it simply a matter of will? To what extent do things like social conditioning, environment, pain, childhood trauma, socioeconomic disparity, and a whole mishmash myriad of other very important, crucial factors play into the equation? If the process of transformation was merely this matter of logic or rationality, then wouldn't it make sense that education,

access to good information, shouldn't that translate into taking the correct actions required to progress towards one's goal, growth, or ambition. Because whatever your problem, whatever your obstacle, your handicap, be it academic, psychological, emotional, economic, physical, mental, spiritual, that problem most likely isn't unique. It's already been studied. It's understood. The solution probably already exists. There's counsel that can be found in countless academic, philosophical, and spiritual texts dating

back millennia or in the thousands of self-help books that get published annually. What about in the exchanges with friends or family or mentors or colleagues or in your chosen hall of worship? This is information that flows freely and endlessly in our social media feeds. If you want X, then you do Y, problem solved. Obviously, change doesn't work this way. Most of us struggle mightily to square the equation because transformation isn't math.

It isn't binary. It isn't linear. It's messy. It's complex, infinitely complex. It's confounding in what activates it. It's even more mysterious what sustains it. And this thing, transformation, change, is apparently incredibly resistant to even the most practical, actionable, objective, and obvious advice delivered from the most trusted and respected source.

So then what is it? What is the nature and shape of this thing we call transformation? Well, to understand this is to invite paradox into your life because transformation, the how, the when, and the why of change, I have come to believe is a landscape of dichotomies. It is both an art and a science. It is a mindset, but also a practice. It's an action, but it's also a stillness. It is both spiritual and practical. A yin and a yang that entails,

on the one hand, this bricklayer approach to doing that can produce progressive change over time. And on the other hand, and perhaps more importantly, it's this ethereal, mystical way of being, not doing, but being that makes space for those lightning bolt moments that can forever alter a life in the blink of an eye. It's also, as someone who has navigated more than a few chapters of transformation in my 56 years and hosted a zillion conversations on the topic, a subject matter, terrain that cannot be properly covered or grasped in a single conversation, or certainly not by way of a brief monologue such as this, but we can enter this realm. We can find a way into the process of trying to better understand transformation, how to approach it, how to such as this, but we can enter this realm. We can find a way into the process of trying to better understand transformation,

how to approach it, how to practice it, how to pursue it and embody it with a thought from the great Mark Twain, who said, quote, "'The two most important days in your life are "'the day you were born and the day you find out why. Now, I'm sure there are many interpretations of this quote. Mine is that each and every one of us has arrived here right now in this human form, fully equipped with a unique, never before and never will be seen again, manifestation of consciousness. A divine spark, all your own, and unlike any other,

an utterly original repository of potential expression, living latent, lurking dormant within us, typically compartmentalized, likely even repressed, yet patiently awaiting discovery. Occasionally, every once in a while, reminding you of its presence by elevating your soul when you are in tune with it or turning your gut when deep down, you know you're off track. I choose to believe we are here to evolve. It is our purpose to grow, to progress towards the most authentic and fully actualized embodiment of that unique expression. To become who we truly are,

not who our parents want us to be, not who we are convinced society requires us to be, nor the person our environments have unconsciously programmed us to become, have unconsciously programmed us to become, but to instead step into and claim our most authentic self-actualized selves. That version of self where there is no daylight between who we are and who we aspire to become and no mask that hides us from others or ourselves. Now, whether or not this belief of mine is true

in the literal sense, is actually less important to me than the power it holds as an operating system for life. An approach to guide actions, to guide decisions with greater intentionality that has engendered my life with a greater sense of purpose, direction, and meaning. Key to decoding one's why is action, of course. The why is revealed through the doing, but that action must be coupled with an incredible commitment to going inward,

to stripping away the layers of our crafted personalities, discarding those masks and deconstructing the narratives, the tired and calcified stories we tell ourselves time and time again about who we are, what we're capable of, what we're not capable of and why. These stories that we have unconsciously created and reinforced over years, sometimes decades to make us feel safe, it's time to set them aside.

And instead, it's time to get real with ourselves, to connect with and cultivate a relationship with that divine spark, the simple but likely discarded, hidden or buried things beneath and beyond the story that bring us joy or brought us joy during the innocence of youth, the little things that made us feel like ourselves before self-consciousness entered, before our defense mechanisms took over, entered the picture and muted that stuff or snuffed them out or extinguished them altogether. This process, mining one's interior, attuning to the heart, uncovering that divine spark, connecting with the authentic self within, it's all the same stuff. Don't get lost in the terminology. There are many ways to characterize it. But the point is all of these things demand quiet.

It's a subtle art. It's a subtle practice that requires you venture beyond the incessant self-imposed distractions that increasingly imprison us and go instead to this place where you can actually hear and heed those faint whispers. Where is that place? Solitude. Presence is the resonance of potential.

This is where Twain's why lives. And it is these whispers that remind us of who we are, who we are meant to be. How do we do this? Meditation, mindfulness. Ah, meditation's not for me. Mindfulness is bullshit. You don't understand how busy I am.

It's easy for you to say, my life is complicated. Fine, I get it. Go take a walk instead. The truth is most people will do anything, literally anything to avoid the agonizing prospect of simply sitting quiet and alone with oneself. Most will ignore the tug, insistent on remaining disconnected in a state of persistent terminal distraction, dutifully and reactively subscribing to that thorough life of quiet desperation or what Dr. Gabor Mate would call

the disease of inauthenticity. A disease that's marked by disconnection from self that often originates from untreated trauma is then reinforced by defense mechanisms that over time and from untreated trauma is then reinforced by defense mechanisms that over time and left untreated can metastasize into actual physical illness. Now I'm not suggesting you cast your life aside or that you feel burdened to reinvent yourself overnight.

This is not about quitting your job or shirking responsibilities. We all live in the world and life is fucking hard. I'm simply saying, don't ignore the tug. Find a way to spend some time, even if it's a few moments in focused attention on the heart, away from the head focused attention on the heart, away from the head. And understand that life is not static.

Wherever you find yourself, each thought that you entertain, each decision you make, every interaction with another person either moves you towards greater congruity with that authentic self within either moves you towards greater congruity with that authentic self within, or indulges the disease of inauthenticity. One truth I've discovered through personal experience

is that the further you move away from that congruity, the louder the universe will knock. And the more forceful it will beckon your attention, the more your gut will turn, the more disconnected and out of sorts you're going to feel, the more you're going to feel like a stranger in your own life. Resistance to heed that knock will only deepen that sense of disconnection. And the knocks, they're gonna continue. They're gonna get louder and louder, each knock more destabilizing than the prior until the pain of your circumstance is so intense

that it exceeds the extreme fear of change you harbor. Will you finally summon the willingness to consider a different way? Let's face it, pain is a great motivator. It definitely prompted most of the major life transformations I've traversed. But the great irony here is that we actually don't need to be in pain to change.

Each and every moment presents a new opportunity for greater honesty for better connection with self and for contrary action to make a new and different choice for greater authentic expression and in turn growth to embrace a positive change even in the most micro sense, in the absence of pain, is an incredible act of self-love that we can all practice, that is freely available, that we all deserve and need not be earned. It's also a gift to others. And it's something that becomes easier and more reflexive in direct proportion to our commitment to honoring greater authenticity, to living an examined life, not from the limited perspective of our intellect,

but from the musings of the heart, a frequency best attuned when we disconnect from distraction, invest in solitude, and get present with ourselves. Do this without attachment to where it may lead, and you just might meet yourself for the very first time. and you just might meet yourself for the very first time. And while you're at it, stop hiding, stop apologizing for who you are,

stop waiting for someone else to solve your problems for you because you are the one you've been waiting for. Because the world needs the best version of you. And because the clock is ticking. Thank you for indulging me. I hope you found this valuable and I'll see you back here soon. Peace. Play it. Thank you.