The Rich Roll Podcast - It’s An Inside Job: Olaniyi Sobomehin On How To Maximize Potential In Sport & Life

Episode Date: December 3, 2015

We tend to assume the successful are simply gifted. Or perhaps just lucky — at the right place at the right time. Olaniyi Sobomehin is not one of those people. But he does have one thing most lack: vision and self-belief. A middle child with a life long dream to play in the NFL, Niyi lacked the natural gifts required to even earn a college football scholarship. Friends and family repeated the refrain: be realistic. Niyi ignored the advice, invested in himself and walked on the Oregon State program with little to no chance of seeing game time. But sheer determination, exceptional mental toughness, and an unparalleled ability to out work everyone on the field turned this no name walk on into a running back for The New Orleans Saints, where he finally realized his childhood dream playing alongside NFL greats like Drew Brees. A voracious reader able to translate wisdom into actionable practices, Niyi understood that the tools he relied upon for athletic success would apply equally to life after football. So upon retirement he turned his professional focus to I'm Not You– a platform to help young athletes develop the habits, strategies, systems and techniques required to maximize potential in sport and life. Niyi's approach has little to do with physical training. It's about overcoming mental limitations. It's about mindset. Because the relationship one has with one's self is what ultimately dictates outcomes. In other words, it's an inside job. Today we talk about the strategies Niyi distilled from playing at the highest level of sport and how these tools can be applied to unlock your own inner potential. Specifics include: * how to overcome a talent deficit * developing confidence through facing fear * techniques for developing a mental edge * what holds most athletes (and people) back * the common habits of the most successful athletes * the benefits of affirmation & visualization techniques * morning routines to optimize your day * why he surveys his family weekly; and * why getting uncomfortable is the key to success I love this guy's passion. Niyi's enthusiasm for life and devotion to service is infectious, buttressed by a perspective germane well beyond the boundaries of sport. So even if you’re not an athlete, this conversation delivers. Chocked with copious gems applicable to every facet of personal and professional development, it's a natural bookend to echo and complement my preceding conversation with Jesse Itzler and the principles he learned living with Navy SEAL David Goggins. Question: What Belief About Yourself Is Holding You Back? I'd love to hear all about it in the comments section below. I sincerely hope you enjoy this walk in Niyi's cleats as much as I did. Peace + Plants, Rich

I focus on athletes that want to do big things. So if you want to reach that goal, there's going to be challenges. There's going to be obstacles. There's going to be injuries. There's going to be setbacks. There's going to be hurdles. But how do you deal with them? Because that's ultimately what separates the guys at the top from everybody else.

That's Olanihi Shabomaheen, and this is the Rich Roll Podcast. The Rich Roll Podcast. Hey, what's up, everybody? My name is Rich Roll. I am your host. Welcome to the show. This is the show where I do my best, my very best. I try. I really, really do to have meaningful

conversations with compelling individuals about things that matter, all as a means to help all of us unlock and unleash our best, most authentic selves. So thank you so much for tuning into the show today, for subscribing to the show on iTunes, for taking a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. That helps us out a lot. And of course, for always using the Amazon banner ad at richroll.com for all your Amazon purchases. The holiday season is upon us, like it or not. You might find yourself on Amazon purchasing a gift. Well, it would mean so much to us if you would take that extra millisecond and click through the banner ad at richroll.com first. It won't cost you anything extra.

It just shakes loose a little bit of extra commission change on the Amazon side of the equation, and that really helps us keep the bandwidth flowing. It means a lot to us. So thank you so much to everybody who has made a habit of that. We greatly, greatly appreciate it, as I have said many times before. Okay, so today I've got Olanihi Shobhamahin on the program. I think I said that right. He goes by Nihi for short. He's a great guy. He's a very entertaining, energetic guy. He is a former

running back for the New Orleans Saints. He's now a firefighter and a coach and the man behind a website called imnotyou.com where he helps athletes of all skill levels and ages develop mindsets, habits, and systems to overcome fear and other mental limitations to unlock full potential. So even if you're not an athlete, there is a ton of great information in this conversation for everybody to mine in every area or facet of your life. And I've got a few more things I want to say about Nihi in a minute, but first. We're brought to you today by recovery.com. I've been in recovery for a long time. It's not hyperbolic to say that I owe everything good

in my life to sobriety. And it all began with treatment and experience that I had that quite literally saved my life. And in the many years since, I've in turn helped many suffering addicts and their loved ones find treatment. And with that, I know all too well just how confusing and how overwhelming and how challenging it can be to find the right place and the right level of care, especially because, unfortunately, not all treatment resources adhere to ethical practices. It's a real problem. A problem I'm now happy and proud to share has been solved by the people at recovery.com

who created an online support portal designed to guide, to support, and empower you to find the ideal level of care tailored to your personal needs. Thank you. disorders, gambling addictions, and more. Navigating their site is simple. Search by insurance coverage, location, treatment type, you name it. Plus, you can read reviews from former patients to help you decide. Whether you're a busy exec, a parent of a struggling teen, or battling addiction yourself, I feel you. I empathize with you. I really do. And they have treatment options for you. Life and recovery is wonderful. And recovery.com is your partner in starting that journey. When you or a loved one need help, go to recovery.com and take the first step towards recovery. To find the best treatment option for you or a loved one, again, go to recovery.com. All right, so let's talk about today's show, today's guest, Olenihi Shabomihin.

For me, one of the more interesting things about this guy is that he was never the most talented or naturally gifted athlete. He was actually a walk-on player at the Oregon State football program. Yet through sheer determination, a huge heart, this immense capacity for mental toughness, an extraordinary work ethic, basically by virtue of his desire to learn as much as he could from a wide variety of sport and life influencers, implement what he learned. Essentially, the willingness to do things others wouldn't. He was able to achieve his dream and make it all the way to the NFL. And I think there are a lot of important lessons in that for all of us. Now he's retired. He's a family man. He's working two

careers. He's a firefighter. But his passion is really his commitment to coaching and helping young athletes, athletes of all types, ranging from middle school all the way to the pros, to help them realize their dreams and potential by teaching habits, mindset, and strategies, systems and techniques to dominate their sport. But like I said earlier, I think the fundamentals of Nihi's philosophy and approach are super germane to not just sport, but to maximizing potential in the fundamentals of Nihi's philosophy and approach are super germane to not just sport, but to maximizing potential in the pursuit of whatever dream you foster. I love Nihi's passion, his enthusiasm and perspective. And I felt his message would

really nicely complement the message of my last podcast with Jesse Itzler and the principles that he learned living with Navy SEAL David Goggins. So today we're going to talk about a lot of stuff, including how to overcome a talent deficit, combating fear and developing confidence, techniques for developing a mental edge, what holds most athletes, most people back, the common habits of the most successful athletes, the benefits of affirmation and visualization techniques, why he surveys his wife and kids every week on how he is doing.

It's sort of like his version of the Goggins accountability mirror. And again, much like Jesse Itzler and David Goggins, why being uncomfortable is the key to success. So let's walk a mile in Nihi's cleats. So Nihishobo. Yes, Nihishobo. That's short for Ola Nii Shobo Maheen. Yeah, that's not bad, actually, man. It's close. I didn't get it perfect, though, right? Ola Nii Shobo Maheen is the full name. Close, man.

But people just call you Nii. Yep. My whole family calls me Nii. Most of my football playing days, it was Shobo, and that's what I go by now. My friends call me that at the fire department as well. So, yeah, Shob fire department as well so yeah man so what are you doing down in la man la so other than coming here to chat with you man me and my wife just got back from the tony robbins convention um it was incredible man last week four days unleashed the power within right right and so tony robbins is a is a guy that i follow a lot and i've learned a lot from just in terms of he's really changed a lot for me in terms of how I relate to athletes.

And I've learned a lot through his material. So I decided I have a coach through his program as well. And so I decided to take me and my wife down here to do it, man. And it was I didn't know what to expect. They call it a seminar, but to call it a seminar is not doing it justice at all right and it was like an experience that i can't even really fully explain but it's it was a spiritual type of experience which um i'm not used to those type like uh one of the biggest takeaways for me walking away with this is like i kind of just totally switched the way that i look at what my definition of success is.

How did it change? So I'm one of those guys. I'm an athlete, obviously. I played NFL ball for a couple years. And my whole life, I was one of four boys. My dad is from Nigeria, a very masculine man. And so I never, I always was an achiever in terms of like, I always kind of saw myself as someone who I always push forward. I always go after what I want.

I've had the opportunity to reach a lot of goals in my life. And so a lot of men, we have this idea that in order to feel successful, we have to reach a certain status, like a certain level. And it's the same thing with a lot of athletes that I work with now. They feel like they can't be confident until they reach this level of success that they're going after. But I realize that, man, life is so much more about connection. It's about love. It's about love. And as corny as that sounds to someone like me, that would have sounded corny to me.

Like it's about as real as it gets, man. You're not talking about love in the locker room at the same time. That doesn't go over so good? as it gets, man. Yeah, you're not talking about love in the locker room at the same time. That doesn't go over so good? Not too much, man. But ironically or weirdly enough, it actually inspires you even more when you connect to a deeper part of you. And it's so much more than just achieving a certain goal or reaching this or making a certain amount of money.

And I realize that I've been holding myself back a lot, and not just with my wife but with my kids as well and just in general I was realizing that I connect with a lot of people but in terms of deep deep relationships that's something that hasn't been a skill of mine and I've kind of known that and I found out that you know in order for me to really feel the level or to feel the feelings like one of the things that he talked about is like everyone is going after feelings. It's really not. When you say you want a car, you want money, or you want a girlfriend or a wife or a husband, it's really not that you want. It's the feeling that you'll get.

And so for me, really identifying with those. Or the feeling that you think it's going to give you about who you are that informs your identity when you when you like hang your hat on you know status or certain material possessions as being formative of your identity and the recipe for happiness you're just chasing the dragon man exactly because it's inside yeah yep and that leads to so much frustration and so one of the emotions that i i experience a lot is frustration and athletes can couldn't relate to this and i'm sure a lot of men, but in order for me to feel frustrated, it's like when I'm, if when I'm reaching after certain goals or pushing forward and trying to

achieve, if I don't see the results that I want right away, that leads to frustration. And then I have this feeling that, you know, I shouldn't be frustrated. And so then I try to hide my frustration and I try to act like I got it going on and I got everything figured out. And that leads to more frustration. You got more frustration front a little bit you know what I mean exactly clamp down on that pain yeah that fear yeah yeah and then that has negative repercussions and you know relationships and that leads to me not really getting in in touch with like who I really am and really expressing myself and letting go so it was it was an incredibly enlightening experience. You make you cry?

Oh, hey, so my kids, they always talk about how they never see me cry. And particularly my oldest daughter, she always tries to get me to cry. So there's been a couple of times where I've been close, you know, and she'll be like, go ahead and cry. And then, you know, that just messes it up. So then I clamp up. I'm like, nah. And so I never saw my dad cry. Like, my brothers ahead and cry. And then you know that just messes it up. So then I clamp up. I'm like, nah. And so I never saw my dad cry. Like, my brothers don't cry.

And so I don't know if that's something I took pride in, but I never wanted to cry. Like, I'm not the type of guy who wants to. But this weekend, over the course of the four days, like, I cried more than I ever have. Like, I mean, each day I did just sobbing, you know, and it was more like gratitude, man. Like I, I never, I never really felt that level of gratitude before. Like just truly blessed that feeling of being blessed. And that's what overwhelmed me so much to where I was crying. And when we first got there, so a lot of people were telling us, don't sit next to your wife, you know? And so so and so we heard from the first guy and I'm like alright that

makes sense to me you know cuz I kind of like wanted to you know be able to express myself in a way without having to wonder about like if she was gonna be and then they asked certain questions and you want to be like she's looking at me like oh or what are you gonna say type of thing right and then we heard from another person and so I was like yo maybe I think it might be a good idea for us to, you know, listen to these people advice. And she wasn't really with that at first. Like my wife really wanted to sit next to me.

Because it'll edit you. Exactly. Exactly. Even if you feel like, you know, even me and my wife are extremely close. We have a very open relationship, but it was just a level. And I needed to be on my own for that because by me doing that i got in touch with a level a side of me that i've never felt before and she's very happy for that you know and she can tell the difference it's been shoot it just ended uh what

was it sunday you know and i feel like a totally different man that's crazy man yeah did you uh did you walk on the hot coals? Yes, we did, man. How does that work? Oh, man, it was wild. So that's actually the first night. And I don't know if I – I guess I can talk about it. No one told me not to talk about it. But it was – there's 10,000 people there in the Los Angeles Convention Center. And I've always heard about the walk on the coals,

but it wasn't really something that scared me because I was thinking if a bunch of people have done it before. Yeah, they've been doing it for years. Right. Everybody does it. I've always heard about the walk on the coals, but it wasn't really something that scared me because I was thinking, if a bunch of people have done it before. Yeah, they've been doing it for years. Everybody does it, so there's got to be something. But I still don't get it. I still don't get why not everyone is burning their feet. No, so here's how it works.

This is one of the things that I've always heard about, and I thought I knew, but you don't know it until you feel it. And that, and that's one of the biggest takeaways from this weekend as well is like you can understand something all you want, but you won't really like until you internalize it until it's in your nervous system, like you can't really understand it. And so the difference between knowledge and experience. Exactly. And so he taught us how to access this state of just pure unstoppability and confidence. state of just pure unstoppability and confidence and uh he has the unique ability tony robbins has a very unique ability to like there's 10 000 people in there and you feel like he's talking directly to you like you i mean you're talking about chill bumps just absolutely hype and he got everyone in there to access the state of just pure unstoppability and not just not just like

some corny like rah-rah type of stuff but actually to the point where like you feel like you can literally do anything and so what happens is when you're in that state your body actually like will you will not get burned because you have that level of certainty so we always talk about belief and this is one thing i talk to my athletes about is like if you say that you know you can do something but if you need to raise that level of belief to where it's it's not even you expect it you know and that's something that intellectually you can say okay yeah i get it i believe i can do this but no you don't really you don't really believe that no yeah the difference between like talking yourself into

it and knowing it in your bones exactly know it in your bones so he got us to fill it in our bones to where 10 000 people are walking over 2 000 degree hot burning coals and not getting burned you know and so does anybody crap out and not do it i gotta be people i felt like i saw this i was watching and so they have like these african drums playing it's really like creepy it's kind of like it's like everyone chanting and stuff there's all these these calls, and people are just screaming and just hype. But I saw a few times where people kind of backed out, but they ended up going through again. Because the thing about it is you actually will get burned if you don't have that level of certainty, which is crazy.

So he taught us very specifically how to go through it. So one of the things is once you go through over the hot coals, you have to maintain that that level of certainty and that and be in that peak state otherwise you will get burned because sometimes there's some coal stuck on your toes or the bottom of your feet so you gotta wait like you gotta be hyped all the way until you know you wipe it all off but um he talked about there's some i can't remember which uh group of people who that's a part of their culture when they do that but you have to be

and that's what that that's it's like a level of certainty that I've never in my life felt before like that I feel like is a part of every person what do you think it is about Tony Robbins that makes him so compelling like I look at him and he he like look he doesn't even look like a human being right he's like some kind of alien cyborg that like came down to earth you know with like some kind of wisdom that he imparts upon people but i mean he's incredibly gifted at what he does right for sure but i'm like what's that guy does that guy ever like you know just like i feel like does he ever let his guard down right what does he like like behind closed door you know it's it's hard to get a grip on what he's like but he's a special person but it's kind of like it's sort of like the same thing that you see with someone like

oprah you know like they're like yeah they have the big head you know like it doesn't quite fit the body exactly man and so like i told you man i followed this guy like i've read all his books i listened to a lot of his audio programs and things. And when I actually went to the event and hear him talk live, he's not a different guy, but he has the ability to wear a different mask in a way. But he's uncut in these events. And so he's cursing. He's like, I mean, he's going all out. And you really get, he tells a lot of stories that you don't hear in his books

and that you might not hear in his audio programs. And you really get a feeling that this guy really, he's going all out, and you really get – he tells a lot of stories that you don't hear in his books and that you might not hear in his audio programs. And you really get a feeling that this guy really – he is human. Like, he talks – he's very – I feel like he gets vulnerable in terms of sharing stories about himself earlier on and sort of the things that made him do what he does and where he is now. And he even talks about some of the things he did early in his career that he does totally different now, you know. And so you just got to go to one of his events man and he's it's very inspirational because to see a guy actually at one point i was literally crying

because of how grateful i was for a person like him and and this represents a lot of people that that i follow that are mentors to me and and i know you provide this for people who listen to you but and i've read your book, Finding Ultra, right? So for you to, like, share your story and to achieve a certain level of mastery in your life, you know, you are impacting so many people. And that's so inspiring to me because that's something that drives me.

I don't want my story to be so, I don't want to close myself off to the world. I want to be able to touch like millions of people through what it is that I that I've been able to do and what I continue to do. And so in order to do that, you have to become the type of guy who who who deserves that level of right. Who can like who can who can like hold that authority and say and stand in that space and, like, own it completely. Exactly, and he's paid that price. I mean, he's been doing it for 30-something years. He literally has this master university where he teaches you how to manage your finances, relationships, business,

and he's earned that because he's mastered every single one of those areas of his life where it's like it's like you have no choice but to just salute him man like just salute man and uh it was it was pretty incredible that's cool man good good very cool well thanks for making the trip down here man definitely it's nice to meet you uh and let's let's like uh let's let's unpack it dude i want to get into the football career and kind of what you're doing with the coaching, but maybe a good place to start is to just talk about I'mNotYou.com and kind of what's going on with that and your kind of perspective with working with athletes and kind of some of the principles that you are, you know, teaching and imparting to young athletes to help them, you know, maximize their performance.

Definitely, man. So just to give you a little backstory. So I'm from Portland, Oregon, and I grew up playing football and I loved it so much. I played at Oregon State, went to Portland State, became an All-American there and then got the chance to play in the league for a couple years for the New Orleans Saints. And ultimately, my career was cut short due to injury. But I came back home and i was like in this period of of indecision you know like just not really knowing what to do next and sort of wondering but i was coaching at a local high school when i was working with these younger athletes and i'm noticing man like these guys have so much talent and i saw so much of myself in them like and they had way more talent than i than i had like i was never the biggest fastest

strongest but they just didn't have an idea what it would actually take for them to reach their goals in their sport and so a lot of these athletes say they want to go to the nfl and they want to you know get a scholarship and things like that but they didn't know what it took and so i took some of these guys up out of my wing and started coaching them and mentoring them along the way and at first it was just really, you know, the, the physical aspects of it, like how to work out, how to train, how to eat like a professional athlete, um, and incorporating some of these, these mental aspects as well. And as I got deeper into it, I started to get a little frustrated because you can teach these guys how to, how to work out, you know, even how to eat

and do all these different things, but mentally they don didn't. Right, and they don't do it. And even if they do, they're still not doing it with the level of intention that's needed to achieve a certain goal. And it goes back to this belief thing. A lot of them just simply don't believe that it's possible. And they're doing all the right things. They're trying all these gadgets and different, you know, you see now these guys wearing these masks and things running around.

I'm like, if you don't focus on, you know, how to master your emotions and how to really instill that confidence to where you can overcome those inevitable challenges and obstacles that come along the way of reaching a goal as high as you have, right? Because that's one of the reasons. Like, I focus on athletes that want to do big things. So if you want to reach that goal, there's going to be challenges. There's going to be obstacles. There's going to be injuries.

There's going to be setbacks. There's going to be hurdles. But how do you deal with them? Because that's ultimately what separates the guys at the top from everybody else. It's not that they're bigger, faster, stronger. I mean, you look in any sport, any arena, you got guys who are talented and things like that. But do you have the grit? Do you have the stamina, the mental stamina, the endurance to, to, uh, to keep going? And so that's

when I sort of switched focus, man. I, I went away from the physical training and I started doing what I call sports results coaching, where I pretty much just focus on the mental, the, the, the habits, the systems, and the mindset and the overall strategy that you need to accomplish a goal. And so that's where I'm not you was born. And and it's it's my baby, man. I'm like super. It's like the thing that I found that I'm so passionate about. My wife will tell you I stay up all night. I will talk about it all day. I will. I mean, it's just it just lights me up. You know what I mean? And oh, man. Well, I love it. I mean, there's so many things things to to you know embark upon or just get into with just what you just said just there but um you know i think a good place to kind of start is is to really unpack this idea of of you know of belief as a

starting point right and you know you mentioned like the mask and all the gadgets and all that kind of stuff and it's really kind of like a cart before the horse, right? Everybody wants, you know, we're in this hack culture. Everybody wants a shortcut. And they think if they drink this certain whatever it is, you know, post-workout drink or they have the right, you know, GPS watch, if you're a runner, that that's going to be the thing. And really, and they're overlooking the biggest thing, which is how do you feel about yourself, right? Exactly. Because that's the hard work.

Yep. And that, you know, like sort of turning that spotlight around and focusing it inward. Exactly. Because if you don't actually believe that you deserve to be on that field or, you know, at the starting line of whatever race it is, none of the other stuff matters. Exactly. But it's the stuff that we kind of push down and we puff our chest up and we act as if and we pretend. But honestly, like if you're not, if you have something inside of you that doesn't think that you deserve to be there,

then ultimately you're not going to achieve your potential. Exactly, man. And this is what you find with all the athletes that I work with and what I found at the post at the later part of my career with the Saints and so in my first year there I got I got injured so I actually was a undrafted free agent and that means you're pretty much like an expendable type of guy right you know like they call him a camp body so that means you just keep everyone fresh until it's time to cut down the roster you know and so I was one of the the clocks ticking exactly yeah yeah yeah so there was like probably about 20 20 plus players that they bring in like that and i was

one of two guys who made the the roster and so i actually started my first game against the san francisco 49ers in week four of that season and it was incredible it was a dream come true man just running out the tunnel and i still remember when I was watching the game before when I saw the the fullback guy getting hurt it got hurt and I'm just like oh shit like I'm up you know like right this is my time and so but in that game I got I busted my my shoulder up to where I had to have surgery and I was out for the whole year right one game yeah one game you know and uh ends like that yep and so but i actually was still on the team you know rehabbed and uh they kept me around they really believed in me and so i uh started the preseason this is like 2008 right 2008 yep 2008 and then the next year i'm on the uh going through

all the preseason games but and the summer before i worked out as hard as i've ever worked out i stayed there in new orleans just training my ass off, doing all types of stuff, doing Bikram yoga. And, you know, like literally I had every, I had every aspect, you know, taken care of, you know, except right here though, except my mind, except the mental toughness. Right. And so after that injury, like I started to doubt myself and be, get a little insecure about, you know, whether or not I was strong enough to be in the NFL, whether or not, you know, I could last, whether or not, you know, I started just entertaining all these negative ideas, but I kept doing what I needed to do, right? Not to mention the fact that, you know, at any moment you could get cut, right? So the fear that comes along with that,

especially when your whole life is led up to this point, your whole life, how many years had gone into, you know, making thefl and you're finally there exactly knowing like at any moment it could just end and then what exactly and that anxiety it just is with you the whole time and um i remember so against the oakland raiders i'm at the uh at the game and it's in oakland and all my family's in the bay area so i know you went to stanford two of my brothers actually went to stanford and my other went to santa clara so they all live in that area now and so they all play football at Stanford or no, no,

the only football player, one of them played basketball there, but, um, all of them, but yeah, they were just students there. And so,

um, I remember them coming to my game and, um, in the, in the first, in the first quarter, I want to say I'm on punt return. And I don't know if you don't know much about football,

but I know enough to know what that is. Right, right. So at that particular, my role was I have to hold up the guy on the punt team but you have to hold him in such a way that you don't get called for holding you know and but I made the mistake of holding on too long and we got I got a holding call and when I went back on the sideline coach Peyton just ripped me another asshole man like this guy just went into me you know and uh cursing and i felt like it was actually like kind of personal like he didn't like he like i was like damn dude like really hurt my feelings you know and uh after that man i was pretty much i was done man and i

was i was so down you know and looking back on it like my whole like he literally kicked the whole spirit up out of me and i remember at halftime just being just so depressed almost. But I didn't really know it at the time. Like, I just felt horrible, you know. But all the while, the game's still going on, and I'm still playing, you know. But I'm sitting here worrying about it. Yeah, you're mentally checked out of the game. Right.

And I remember running. I'm on kickoff, and I'm running on kickoff, and I feel like I have no energy, you know. And it's really hot out there, and we've been running running the ball and I was a fullback, so blocking. But I was like one of the last guys going down on kickoff. I feel winded, tired. And being winded and tired was something that I was feeling in the previous games as well. And I'm like, why am I winded and tired?

I've freaking trained my ass off this whole summer. Like I should be in the best shape of my life. But ultimately I got cut eight weeks into the season. And looking back on it, man, it's like, as I, like, analyze it, I wonder, like, what was going on there? I just mentally, when you're not feeling right, like, when you have certain, you know, when you're focusing your mind in such a way that it, like, actually physically drains your energy,

and it physically takes away from your ability to perform. And this is what happens with so many athletes. they never they don't have a solution for this anxiety for this that's plaguing them that they sort of they kind of just ignore it like i did i just kind of ignored it and just kept training hard right like that was going to be the solution but it was not man and and so um well it's also like it's a weird thing with the coach too because i feel like the coach has the responsibility to get the best performance out of his players. Right.

So you ever think like, what would have happened if he just said, Hey man, don't sweat it. You know, you can do it next time. You know what I mean? Like that definitely would have been better.

Every individual, every player responds differently to different kinds, you know, maybe another player would respond positively to get reamed, you know, but for you that didn't work. Exactly. And,

and, you know, he's got so many players, so he doesn't know, you know, for you that didn't work exactly and and you know he's got so many players so he doesn't know you know he probably didn't know that but um you know maybe on a basketball team where there's fewer players you kind of know what buttons to push with each player to get the best performance out of it exactly but a little bit i mean that's on you because you got to have the mental toughness to be able to bounce back but it's also on him oh yeah no no doubt and no question. And this is what happens with a lot of young athletes. I mean, there's coaches that I look back and I'm like,

these guys had no idea what they were doing. And they don't invest their time in learning how to relate to players. I mean, they're geniuses on the field and they know how to do X, Y, and Z. But it's like, if you don't know how to get a guy to perform at his best. And so I appreciate coaches who do take the time to learn those type of skills but the reality is is that there's a lot of people a lot of parents a lot of coaches that have no idea what the hell they're doing and they don't know that they're hurting these athletes but guess what that isn't that hasn't changed the fact that this is reality so unless and and i'm not in the business of you know teaching parents how to do that i'm sure

there's somebody else out there who that's their focus i not in the business of, you know, teaching parents how to do that. I'm sure there's somebody else out there who that's their focus. I'm in the business of teaching athletes how do you get yourself to perform regardless of that. How do you actually use that to your advantage? How do you get yourself to take criticism even though they're, you know, they're freaking cursing you out, you know, and you're a 10th grader, you know, and you're crying. I actually witnessed this when I was coaching a JV team at the high school. I was telling you about these guys are like cursing out ninth and 10th graders. And these guys are crying like, you know, young, young man crying and saying they don't want to play football anymore. And they're literally stealing their passion from them. Right. But I don't like I said, that's my my what I focus on is how do you how do you get these guys to to get them to hold on to the dream even tighter in a situation like that? How do you deal with a parent who's just overbearing and, you know, criticize you too much and things? And there are times where I do I do come in and I do talk to the parents. Right. That's a big problem. It is. It is, man.

And there's a I can't remember the guy, but he has him. He has a movement where he's dealing with that, like changing the culture of sports and stuff. And I really respect what he's doing. But as a young athlete, you can't control that environment. You've got the coach you've got. You've got the parents you've got. So it becomes about trying to develop strategies around that.

Exactly. To, like, deal with that, right? Exactly. It's all – I was telling my athletes, the only two things you've got to think about is what you want and how to get it so if what you want is to dominate your sport if what you want is to reach a particular goal then you got to be able to see look at what's happening right now what's the reality of what's going on and how are you going to accomplish your goal not why can't i do it or what's holding me back identify what's holding you back but let's come up like you said with a strategy for how we overcome that, and a lot of it is, man, they feel like there's no control, and that's what a

lot of athletes have been trained to think like, that there's so much that they can't control, and this is true, but at the end of the day, there's so much that you can control, and when you actually take the time to focus on that, you'll have more work than you ever, like, you'll have so much work to do. Like, let's get to work on the things we can control. And that's what I always tell athletes. They start telling me all these – Yeah, the blame game or being a victim.

Yeah, exactly. Like, well, it's the coach's fault and all that kind of stuff. Right. Which doesn't – it's not helping you. I'm like, I don't care. Like, I don't know the culture of your school or, you know, what's wrong with your coach. And that's none of my business. What my business is, is what are you thinking about every day?

How do you prepare yourself? How do you manage your emotional states? Do you have a strategy for how you attack goals? What do you do every day? What are your habits? And these are the things that when you spend your time focusing on that, like I said, you have your hands full right there. So we don't even have to get to that stuff, you so yeah so how does that how does it work when an athlete comes to you like what's the first you know what's the process of kind of getting into it with an athlete right so

the first thing that i do is i mean when i meet with athletes and these usually tend to be athletes the type of athletes that i attract are serious athletes like the ones who really have you work like one-on-one or is this like on the internet or so how does it you work in person like so i have some clients that i work with in person obviously if you're in my area but i work with athletes now all over the world through my through an online program so it's pretty much just coaching through skype or telephone you know and so we meet like at the most four times a month and the first thing that we do with them that I do with them is identify what it is that they want. Right. And so I never get that the first time I ask. And so I've gotten really good at getting to the root of what they really want. And so so so when you say, what do you want? Like

the typical I want to, you know, I want to be, you know, all American or something like that. Right. Right. But a lot of them don't even feel comfortable saying that a lot of them start um and and uh and you can tell it makes them uncomfortable to say what their goal is you know and um i'll just give an example um there's an athlete that i'm actually going to visit him today he's down in san bernardino and but when i first met him his his goal was to play uh overseas basketball and this guy's tall. Like, this guy's built, like, I mean, he's probably like 6'5". And I had never even seen him play basketball before. He's a high school athlete.

Yes, this was his first year. And it was funny because the way he said it, and I'm looking, I'm like, I've never heard anyone have their ultimate goal be to play overseas. Now, I know there's a lot of great opportunities overseas, you know, and maybe his goal be to play overseas now i know there's a lot of great opportunities overseas you know and maybe his goal is to play overseas but when he said it i knew that wasn't that's not what you want he's basically saying like i don't think i'm good enough to play in the nba so the highest that i can shoot for is this so there's something already baked inside of him that is telling him that he's not talented enough or whatever it is right and usually this

comes from external external outside forces like coaches, parents, people who think they're doing you a favor by telling you, oh, no, I don't think you – you should probably focus on doing that. I had people tell me that. I wouldn't have never made it to the NFL. Because you were a walk-on, right, originally at Oregon State? Yep. I was a walk-on at Oregon State.

And they didn't even have a position for me when I got there. They didn't even run fullback plays. Like, they didn't even run that. And so I never – I was naive enough. I say this. I was naive enough, which worked in my favor, to – like, I just ignored what people said. Like, I didn't care. Like, I'm like, you don't have anything to do with what I'm trying to do.

So – and that's another thing I tell athletes. Like, I actually encourage athletes sometimes not even to listen to their parents. Like, you know't have anything to do with what I'm trying to do. And that's another thing I tell athletes. Like, I actually encourage athletes sometimes not even to listen to their parents. Like, you know what you want. You don't have to get permission from your mom or your dad or your brother or your coach. If that is what you want, then my goal is to help you get what you want. You know, if you've got some real reasons for going after what you're trying to get and you say you really want it, then that's what I'm focused on. Like, you don't need to listen to anyone else, you but so with this particular athlete man like he um told me he

wanted to play overseas and i'm like i'm like you don't want to play overseas like who says they want to play overseas like you don't like you don't get it's not like you get paid a lot over there is you away from your family you know you might get stuck in russia or something but if that if that's actually what you want then tell me why why you want that. And so he started to feel a little uncomfortable. But as I dug deeper, this guy wants to play in the NBA. And I'm looking and I'm like, what about you says that you can't play in the NBA? You tell me one thing. What about you, what do you know about yourself that says you can't do that?

You see what I'm saying? I mean, I just watched this little video of Stephh curry like and uh steph curry just wanted just won nba championship mvp what about this guy says mvp nothing about him when he was in college at davidson who no one knew what the hell college that was said yo this guy's gonna be the mvp and he's gonna win for the golden state warriors i don't even know if they've ever won a championship before but that was what his goal, and he's going to win for the Golden State Warriors. I don't even know if they've ever won a championship before. But that was what his goal was, and he reached his goal. So how did that happen? In this particular video, he's reading the draft profile that people were saying about him.

They said, look, he's never going to be a point guard in the NBA. He's a good shooter. That's about it. You know, he's too small. He's not strong enough, et cetera. And it was an incredibly inspiring video. But I'm asking this kid, what about it? Who told you that you can't do that?

And he's kind of surprised because he can tell that no one's really ever said that to him before. And no one's ever challenged him in that way because he had it so convinced in his mind that he can play only overseas. And that's how good he was. So anyway, over the course of this four-day event, I had an event called called flip the switch and that's one of the other things i do is is live events with athletes um and we got him to really commit to his real goals what he really wanted what this guy wants to play in the nba and that's now his goal you know and so he's finding that he has more energy he has more drive he's taking more action towards his goals because i mean just keep it real about like for my kids if i tell them i'll give you $5 to do this or I'll give you $1,000,

which one are you going to be more excited for? Which one are you going to work harder for? Of course, the higher goal. So it's really important. I'm teaching them how to set high goals and really stay true to who they are. So how do you make that transition, though? Because if somebody is hardwired, you know know with a certain belief of who they are the idea of like untangling that web and and and you know sort of rebooting their system to believe otherwise i

mean you know that's that's the work of a shrink or a therapist you know that's years of analysis right that's not an easy gig i mean that's obviously the heavy lifting and that's if you can get that right then everything else becomes easy because it falls into place because you have vision. Right. But getting somebody to, you know, expand their vision and actually, you know, feel it in their bones as opposed to talking themselves out when they don't actually believe it. You know, what is the process of getting an athlete to that place? And that's a great and that's a great question, because then it becomes a question of how you change the belief. And so one of the main things and this is what my focus has been. So instead of reading all the books about how to teach people how to squat and do X, Y, Z,

I now am learning from Tony Robbins. I'm reading books on human behavior and how to get people to change what they think about themselves and how to change your self-identity. And there's a lot of different ways to do it. But at the end of the day, people do things either to avoid pain or or get pleasure right and so even just the idea of first coming up with a vision that's greater than what they had that's a new that's a new that's something new that's uncomfortable yeah exactly but it's something that drives them it's something that gets them thinking like maybe they can be more but also it's this idea of using pain to motivate you. And so a lot of them are associating

pain with going after a goal and not getting it. So for example, this kid, like he'll say, for me to try to go make it to the NBA and not make it right will be a lot of pain for me. So I might as well just set this small goal. Right. It's too scary because if you actually really invest yourself completely in that and you don't make it, that would be devastating. Exactly. And that scares people from even trying. Exactly. Because it's easier to say, well, yeah, I didn't really try. You know, I didn't really try.

So you didn't really risk anything. Right, right, right. But I get them to see it a little differently. So instead of looking at it like that, what if you, I paint the picture of what it's going to look like over the course of your life, over the next 10 years, the next five years, you know, the next year, if you continue to mute what it is that you really want and not do the things that you know that you really want, right? And so, like, basically associating pain to different things because at the end of the day, like, you have a choice. Like, you can choose to not go after these goals

that you know you really want and limit yourself and go after these smaller goals. But if that becomes a habit of yours, that's something you do continuously over the course of your life, that's gonna equal a lot of pain for you. And I have to do a good job of getting them to see that. And then in the meantime,

it's setting up a system for how do you consistently reinforce new beliefs, right? And so one of the ways is just managing your emotional state. And so this is what I've become a student of. This is how I, you know, came upon Tony Robbins work. I follow a lot of different people when it comes to this and really being able to manage your emotional state. And so I actually have like a, I'm working on it right now. It's called an emotional playbook where it's basically you keep track of all the emotions that you feel throughout the day. And you basically identify what's your recipe, how do you get into these emotions,

and then identifying what actions do you usually take when you're feeling this way. And so we all have these. And I'm actually, when I first started doing this myself, what I found was crazy. I had a list. So I always say there's only two types of emotions, ones that help you and ones that hurt you. And so on one side, the negative ones, I had about, I mean, it was a long list. And then on the right side,

I had about like five or six, you know, and I'm a pretty positive guy. You ask anyone who knows me, I'm not a guy who's depressed all the time, but these negative emotions, and they don't show, they don't always show up in like the form of like pure depression.

I'm talking about mildly frustrated, you know, being annoyed feeling uh yeah feeling a little bit doubtful the feeling of being unsure these are all emotions that plague everyone and if you don't come up with a way of how you get yourself to a new more empowering emotion because i always like what beliefs how you believe what you believe about yourself leads to how you feel your emotions always determine the quality or quantity of action that you take, whether or not you do it or not. And then, of course, actions is what's responsible for our results.

And so if you want to change your results, you have to be able to have a recipe, a playbook, for how do you change your emotions. And this is what I work really heavily with athletes on, and it's actually really fun because a lot of athletes that I meet, you can just tell they're used to being in a certain emotional state you know and so one of the things that um i grew up a third of four boys i was always the shy one that's what they told me i was that's hard to believe hey so i i was the shy one and i was quiet you know and i really believed this about myself i was quiet and you know I was awkward around girls and things had only a few friends and things like that and as I'm you

know growing up growing up now and you know it's actually since I've been out the league and I started working with these athletes and what I've learned through them about myself is that like yo I'm not quiet man I'm not shy I'm not shy that's not who I am the only reason why I was shy or quiet is because I was feeling certain ways right and so if I can change how I feel like I actually can get myself like you like you felt like you didn't deserve to have a voice or something right right right just quiet and I felt like yeah exactly like I felt like no one really cared what I said or you know it wasn't worth hearing I felt like being in front of people like being judged by people was something that scared me a lot that's what anxiety that you get from being in front of

large crowds and now i'm you know talking to to thousands millions of people through different different avenues of stretching myself in such a way where actually like i enjoy it you know and so i'm like this is whatever you thought about yourself is not real you know like yeah yeah and that's one of the things I I take it's it's a really fun to get an athlete to see to get to access a different side of them that they didn't even know was there I feel like a lot of people I mean and everything you're saying is applicable far beyond you know the football field right this is these are things that are these are life you know tools for whatever you're, whether you're a businessman or a parent or a teacher or a firefighter. Exactly. These are these are, you know, lessons and resources to, you know, unlock, you know, to to coin the theme of the podcast, you know, the more authentic version of yourself that is resting below the surface.

version of yourself that is resting below the surface. Exactly. You've got to find a way to tap into it. But I feel like a lot of people, like you had in the context or the example of the athlete that you just mentioned who said initially that he wanted to play basketball overseas, and then you were able to identify that, no, he really wants to play in the NBA. I feel like a lot of people, they're not even in touch with themselves enough to even know what it is that they want. Right.

Maybe with a high school athlete who's playing a sport who's excelling, they have a more crystallized vision of where they want to take that. But I think in general, athletes, non-athletes, are kind of more, they're playing defense in life and they're being reactive to their circumstances around them rather than sort of proactively taking you know, taking the steps to, you know, to, to pursue and achieve a goal or to create the vision necessary to then, you know, construct a roadmap that's going to get them where they want to go in their

life. So do you ever have athletes where you don't even know what they, they don't even know what they want and you have to like construct that for them? Absolutely. Partnership with them or. Absolutely. That's, I mean, honestly, I'd say about 50 to 60% of the time, that's what is usually happening, you know? And so that's where my skill comes in. That's where I have to excel. And so just having rapport with an athlete. And so I believe in like the athletes that I work with, like they are not my quote unquote clients or like these are a part of my, I look at a lot of them like they're my little brothers and sisters. You know what I mean? And so I want to develop like a friendship with them to where they feel comfortable telling me what it is that they want.

Because a lot of times it's not that they don't know. It's like you really know, because everyone thinks about things when they go to sleep at night. You know, everyone has these fantasies. Everyone has a pretty much like if i said i always say if i put a gun to your head and told you and said what do you want what would you say you know or if you didn't know what you want what would you want you know like let's let's imagine that you did know what would you want and then they go well well i guess it would be cool to do okay it would be cool to is code for it that's what i really want you know and so it it's definitely a little probing involved you know and i have to get good with the type of questions that i ask and and and how i frame it for each athlete because that's what I really want, you know? And so it, it's definitely a little probing involved, you know, and I have to get good with the type of questions that I ask and, and, and how I frame it for each athlete. Cause that's another thing that I've, I've learned, you know, through experience is that not every athlete responds to the same

type of things. So, um, this was something that was kind of frustrating in the beginning of my career. Um, just working with athletes and stuff, but it's like, you know, instead of getting frustrated, I need to step my game up. So it's like, you know, instead of getting frustrated, I need to step my game up. So instead of only being able to reach one type of athlete, I need to, you know, expand my, you know, arsenal of skills and my ability to develop rapport with these athletes to where, you know, I can say, okay, this is the type of athlete that doesn't really respond well

to consequences and things. They're more driven by, you know, a higher vision and something that's exciting to them. Some athletes, like, like you, you tell them the consequences, they're like, then they, then they start, you know, then they start to get that, that fire, but it's a balance, man. And so this is, it definitely comes with some probing, you know? Right. So, so if you can lock in on, on that goal or that vision, right, it's like putting a key in a lock and suddenly it turns and then you can kind of create the roadmap to get that athlete from wherever they are to, you know, on a trajectory towards their goal. But what are what are you know, what is that road? What does that road look like in terms of the practical day in, day out tools and work that that goes into the coaching that you do with the athlete?

Right. So obviously it depends on each athlete and what their sport is. But I'll just give you sort of an outline of some of the habits and systems that we implement and so first off we got it they have to learn how to set goals so how to how to be able to set shorter term and longer term goals and identify how to manage their time so i have a system called the blueprint where it's a system for breaking down your goals from a three month all the way to a one month and then on a day-to-day basis so every day these guys are journaling and evaluating themselves morning and night and so they're identifying what are the top actions that they need to take on a daily basis and then at nighttime they're identifying did i do them and if i didn't why not what do i need to do in order to be more aggressive in reaching towards my goals the next day etc and then it's that. So there's a system called target practice,

which I would like to share with the audience as well. And I've created a little PDF for them and things like that. But it's a very simple routine where it's like identifying what are the four to five things that if you did every day would make a huge difference long term. So let's take the example of a younger athlete. Like these guys, a lot of them say they want to reach a higher level goal, but they can't even do like 10 push-ups, right? So wouldn't it be nice if you were flexible enough to touch your toes?

Wouldn't it be nice if you actually could hold your own in the weight room and do a pull-up? And so identifying what are the simple things that you've got to do every day that are going to make a bigger difference long term and that that that's different for every athlete but every athlete i don't care who it is has a handful of things that they need to do every single day like if you you talk to the high level guys they're shooting shots every day so this this guy who plays ball in san bernardino he's shooting a thousand shots a day you know know, without fail. This is what you, this is what, forget everything else. What are you doing every day?

And so it's like looking at and analyzing each day as it relates to these higher goals. And the blueprint is a system I have for that. And also a workout record journal where keeping track of everything that you do, keeping track of all the reps and sets that you do, noticing trends, you know, keeping track of your emotions as well. I'm working on what I call the emotional playbook right now, which is what I told you about, keeping track of all the emotions, having a recipe for how you get in and out of emotions.

It's a system I call primetime, which is like a routine that you do in order to get yourself to feel the confidence that you need to feel before workouts before training before games etc meditating visualizing like i create custom visualization tracks for for the athletes that i work with so they can use that on a daily basis teaching them how to be able to relax their body and actually systematically visualize something i never learned that i learned after i played ball that um just me sitting here in front of you right now was a part of my vision, right? Well, you're here, man. I'm here. And so it's incredible the power of visualization, but I never learned it. I never learned how to do it, you know?

And so this is what I'm teaching these athletes how to do. And so that should give you like sort of an idea of the things that we do on a daily basis, you know? Right, right, right. And I think a big part of it that gets overlooked in this equation is just putting in the work, man. Yeah, exactly. You've got to actually do it. Right. You know, there's so many self-help books out there, and a lot of them are great.

And, you know, the best ones will have practical tools for you to then use. And I feel like people read them, and maybe they're momentarily inspired, but then they don't actually avail themselves of actually doing the work or putting into motion, you know, actually implementing those tools. Right. Right. And so, I mean, do you find with like, you know, the kids that you're working with, high school kids, I mean, these are millennials, right? Like their faces are probably, you know, in front of screens all day. It's a different, you know, I'm a lot older than you, but like, it's a different age, man. And there's a lot of great things I think about the millennial generation. But but some of the stereotypes are true. There's sort of a level of entitlement in the sense that like, yeah, you know, I can just I can just be me, man.

The world's going to reward you for that. You know what I mean? And and that's informed by, you know, advertising and, you know, all these kind of all the messaging that's kind of out there that that is that is sort of informing these kids that like, hey, man, the way you're doing it is great. Like you don't need to learn from anybody because you're you and all that kind of stuff. Right. So so a lot of I would imagine you're you've got to do some counterprogramming to go like, no, man, are you going to be the first guy in the gym in the morning and the last guy to leave? And, you know, you really want to achieve your goal. Like, there's no hack around that. Exactly. You've got to show up.

Yep, yep. And that's a huge part. And so, again, that's where I have to do my job of being able to relate to a younger athlete. And so that means I can't always give them Michael Jordan references. You know, like, I have to be able to talk to them, relate to them about athletes that inspire them now. And so just showing them what it actually looks like to reach a goal. Like so the very fact that I did what they're most of them are trying to do gives me an edge in being able to relate to them. So when they break down and so there's another.

But you're more accessible than than than a Michael Jordan. Right. You actually had some struggles and it didn't go exactly. I mean, he's like, you know like if you could revision that, you know, you'd probably still be playing, right? Exactly. So you had, you know, you basically can relate in a very human way what went wrong for you and how you would have done things differently. Exactly.

And I think that allows those kids to kind of emotionally tap into you and connect with you in probably a more real way. Definitely, definitely, man. And even just one of the things I do also, like when I first meet with them, have them tell me what is it that you do on a day to day, like give me the average week. And so that makes them tell me everything, right? And to look at what they actually do and be able to describe to them in detail what it's actually going to look like in a way that doesn't scare them away. But, you know, obviously it's not like it's not going to be easy, but in a way that actually is enticing.

And they start to fall in love with the process of being great, you know, because it is a process and it's a never-ending process. And one of the things that – And you've got to love the process because it's too much work. Exactly. If you don't love it, you know, day in and day out, that doesn't mean you always love it or you love waking up at 5 in the morning or anything like that.

But overall, you've got to really be able to embrace it because it's a long road exactly no matter what your goal is right and that's why these one of the things that they do in their blueprint on a daily basis is keep track of wins and so i tell them like you got to be ruthless about like you have to collect wins small wins big wins i don't care what they are even if it's like you woke up this morning without pressing snooze, you got to collect that man, because it becomes so easy and so tempting to get down on yourself, you know? And this is, this is something that happens with me personally in my own life today. And that I see a lot with younger athletes. These guys are, I mean like a particular football player that I work with, man, this guy is like a beast, you know? And he's

like a man amongst boys out there and he's got so much talent. Um, but he's so down on himself all the time. Like every time I talk to him, it's like, it's something's not going right. And man, I got, no, I just got to get better. And I, I'm like, yeah, you got to get better, you know, and you will get better, but look at how far you've come. Like, why can't we have a balance there? Like, uh, keeping track of all the things that are going well so as to lift yourself up and feel good about yourself knowing that you you love who you are as an athlete and where you are today but also have this goal that you're reaching after and get and and still be relentless about you know going after on daily basis and this is a hard this is a hard balance

to find you know i think when you find that balance you're pretty much like living man like yeah i think uh that's a very common thing with athletes i think and you know i've talked about this before but it's about learning how to train where you're at not where you think you should be or where you want to be because if you're if you have a goal of being like you know at a certain level and you're not there yet and you show up for practice or your training session and and you're not performing at the level of, you know, where you want to be and you get down on yourself, but it's like, you got to accept where you're at right now, right? Because you're not going to get to that place you want

to get to until you can kind of embrace and just accept where you're at as a, as a basis point for then building upon that and getting better, you know, cause then you're just going to be down on yourself all the time and you're actually moving yourself away from your goal. Exactly. And that's it's hard to hear, man. That's that's the type of thing that that made me and still sometimes makes me frustrated here. Like, ah, like I just want this goal so bad. Like, can I just like but not it's about once you get the goal, like if you got a championship, like let's take an NFL athlete, right? If you gave them a Super Bowl championship in the beginning of the season, that would be virtually useless to them.

There's a reason why at the end of the season you see them like grown men shedding tears, you know, like falling to the ground on their knees when they have this trophy. It's not the trophy. It's what they had to go through in order to get that trophy. They're thinking about week six, you know, when they lost to that team they shouldn't have lost to and how frustrated they were. They're thinking about that injury that's been plaguing them all season, and they had to push themselves and get in the weight room every single day

and go ice tub, you know, for 30 minutes after practice, you know, and all that time away from their family and all the sacrifice that they put in. Yeah, it's the journey that gives it meaning. Right. Otherwise, it's meaningless. Right. Right. So when you were, you know, look when you were playing in the NFL and you're playing with guys like Drew Breeze, I mean, what, what are the, you know, what did you observe? Like what are the consistent, you know,

habits and kind of practices of, you know, the best guys out there that you were able to kind of notice were consistent across the board? That's a great question. And like, so first, one of the illusions that I had when I first got to the NFL is that because all these guys are in the NFL, I'm like certain that they're all just the hardest workers. They're just first ones in, last ones out. It's not the case at all, man.

Like, not the case at all. And so you'll see guys with really big time talent that were drafted high and do not skip workouts. We'll go in there and just sort of BS and hang around and eat terrible. There's a particular athlete, I won't say his name, high profile guy and he stacks up

pancakes and bacon and just eating horribly. I had John Sally on the show and he was telling me similar stories about his time in the NBA and then David Carter Carter also, who he's played on a couple of teams in the NFL. Yeah. These guys are the, they are the elite of the elite. Right. And it's like, I forget exactly how John Sally put it, but it's like, you're, you're putting like dirt in your Lamborghini. You're a pro athlete. You can't you you are at a level where it's not okay to eat like everyone else right exactly man and these are I I thought like of course this you

know when I get to this next level these guys doing but take a guy like Drew Brees always the first one there and like literally his car is the first one there he's watching film before we watch film you know uh always the last one to leave you know the guy has his own his diet and the way that he eats is very meticulous he has his meals prepared and things like that I always remember this vividly when I was a rookie free agent and all the rookies were there working out and the guys the all the older guys and veterans didn't have to be there drew Brees would show up in the mornings with us working out with us these guys who are free agents who he knew most 99% of us

weren't going to be there. But he's there motivating us, throwing us balls, running with us, working out with us, and just a leader in every sense of the word. Another thing, after practice, like when we have long two-a-days and everyone is eager to get off the field and go relax for that one to two hours before we have another practice, he's still on the field, And he's in the weight room doing those exercises that are so annoying, like all these little rehab exercises. I mean, the guy was just committed and so engaged at every

step of the process, right? So on a week-to-week basis, there's a sort of flow to an NFL week. And I was just so inspired by his commitment and his energy levels at every step. So it would make sense if, you know, on Tuesdays, like, man, tired, you know. But always high energy, always in the rehab room, right? Like always in the training room with high energy, always positive. But he commanded. He didn't really have a problem getting on guys. rehab room, right? Like always in a, in a training room with high energy, always positive. And, uh, but he, he commanded, he could, he didn't really have a problem getting on guys, you know? And, and, but, and I felt like he had a really good balance of commanding respect and Sean Payton was the same way. And obviously he had that time where he cursed me out, but I mean, the guy,

the guy was really, really engaged with his, with his players and earn the respect to where he didn't really have to do that all the time. You know, and guys just respected him. And that's how it was with Drew Brees. And there were other guys around at the same time. Jonathan Vilma was another one. I remember Reggie Bushman. This guy would, you know, during tour days, he'd be squatting 500-plus

in between practices, you know. And I have athletes that I work with now, and they're like, yo, you know, I worked out hard in a season. Like, I'm just, you know, trying to maintain. I'm like, no, like, you need to continue to lift heavy during a season. It's hard to do that. Like, I remember Sunday we have games. Mondays after games were, like, the hardest workouts, you know?

And I'm like, okay, this is why these guys are in such great shape and can endure the NFL seasons. Right, right, right. What are some of the other misconceptions about what, you know, life in the NFL is like? Because, you know, as Americans, we project, like, this idea of what it is. It's like watching ballers on HBO. Right, right, right. And you just think, like, it's all partying like, like watching ballers on HBO. And you just think like it's all partying and, you know, champagne.

Right. And then, you know, the excitement of the games. But what is like a typical day actually like? Right. So I think one misconception they have is how much money you make. And so there's a certain class of guy who's making a lot of money. Right. Like the guys are getting millions. But when you when you a lot of money, right? Like, these guys are getting millions. But when you get out of those bigger contracts and you got these guys that are just journeymen, which are like, I want to say about 80% of each roster is guys that have just been around and just solid role players, there's no security.

And this is the NFL. I can't speak for all the other leagues. But you're not – number one, it's expensive to be a pro athlete. At least, like, it's expensive. In what way? So you're traveling. Like, just looking back at my lifestyle at that particular time, traveling back and forth all the time, you know, living in different places.

Just no real steadiness. Like, there's always just – it just seems like money just goes really – and then, of course, you've got people asking for money and stuff. Yeah, because overnight, literally, you go from basically having no money to having more money than – even if you're at the lowest level, it's more money than you've ever had in your wildest dreams, right? And so there's the temptation there to just start throwing it around without thinking about the fact that you can get cut next week

and it's all over. Exactly. And I had sort of like the reverse problem. I actually was – I had so much anxiety, especially in my second year of being let go, that I was holding on to my money and I was not investing it when I probably should have and things like that, which ended up coming back to bite me.

But I think there's, there's that lifestyle that people have in terms of like the party lifestyle. That's definitely there. And you can, you can make of it whatever you want, pretty much. Like if you want to find that stuff, it's pretty easy, you know? And if you want to keep to yourself, like there are a smaller group of guys who are there and, you know, got it going on in terms of staying focused. And there's family guys.

There's pretty much just like a whole just myriad of personalities. Right, every kind of guy. And it's really unique, you know. And I was only on the Saints, so I can't speak for a bunch of other teams. But we had a good chemistry there, you know. But I can definitely see how, you know, the wrong mixture of guys, man, can make for a very troublesome locker room, you know. Right, right, right. Because, I mean, we, the wrong mixture of guys, man, can make for a very troublesome locker room. Right, right, right.

Because, I mean, we're talking about big egos, man, and just all different type of cultural backgrounds and religious backgrounds and political backgrounds. Right. So, yeah. And everybody kind of, you know, competitive for their job, too. Oh, yeah. Is it like, I mean, is there a team unity where there's like a collective kind of, you know, esprit de corps? Or is it kind of like, hey, man, this is my job. Like, don't get too close. Right. Right. Kind of a zero sum game. Yes. Attitude. There definitely is that.

And so when I when I was with the Saints, they that was the second year they they won the Super Bowl that year. Right. That was very, very unique collection of guys. And that was a very, very unique collection of guys. But even then, I mean, I remember when I was a rookie free agent and I was in camp, that fullback that was in front of me, he was probably like an eight-year guy or something like that. He didn't like me at all. He didn't make it easy for me at all. Yeah, you were a threat to his job.

He wasn't helping me out. He wasn't trying to take me under his wing. But then you got guys like Deuce McAllister, who was a running back there when I was there, and a beloved guy in New Orleans. And he was awesome, man. Like, he was showing us everything, you know, and really easygoing guy and would help us out in pretty much any way.

And this was interesting for a guy who, you know, it seems like it would be the opposite, you know, you know, but he was, he was a cool guy. So like I said, it's really just like a, a unique collection of guys, man. And you, you have to be really careful about, um, who you you're with because it's so easy as I was, I came from a really strong family, you know, a pretty strong identity, you know you know um but it's really easy to get influenced by that culture pulled in the wrong direction suddenly you know you got an entourage of people right right giving them all money and like yeah peer pressure man it's like it's real man and so i remember walking what is it the percentage i don't know what the percentage

is offhand but i know it's insanely high of of former nfl players that that file bankruptcy oh yeah broke and you know just lose all their money and you know it's like a crazy epidemic and it's one of the reasons why is because of how so when i got there it's like i came from college you know barely have any money and i remember i rented a car right and i would rent a car and um they would give me like dodge chargers which were cool right but then one time I went back, they didn't have any Dodge Chargers and they only had minivans, you know? So I got a minivan and I didn't think anything of it. I was cool. Right. And so I got in, I rolled in and everyone was like just roasting me, dude. Like they were making fun of me so bad. And I didn't, and I was actually like starting to feel a little like awkward about it.

And I didn't, that's not something I would think i would be insecure about you know and this pressure to like live up to a certain standard because everyone thinks that you should be that standard so right like you gotta you gotta like fly your flag like right in the nfl so that what comes there's all sorts of crazy baggage that comes with right about how you're supposed to live yep and i'm gonna share with you another story but it was crazy like i've always been a watch guy i really like watches and so i was making a lot of money you know first year in nfl and i'm like man i want to get a why i want to get a nice watch like diamonds all that right and so uh and so uh there's there's a guy on the team he's a lineman and he had a good connection

with one of the jewelers and so i call him up and you know he's this fast talking arabian guy he's like yeah man i'll get you whatever you need and i i like didn't even know where to start and how much things would cost and they actually weren't as expensive as i thought like they were you know i wasn't getting the high-end ones like two thousand to three thousand dollar watches right with some diamonds in it and stuff and so he decides to send me you know six watches like like he said i'm gonna send you a bunch of watches and you could try them out you know and send them back when you when you when you're done and let me know which one you like so i'm like hell excited and i get all the watches and they're in this like this nice little glass case and i'm just like open it up and it's just diamonds everywhere i'm just like this is so cool

you know what i mean so i'm like sampling these watches and one day i remember it was it was a day that it was snowing in New Orleans, which is extremely rare. But, like, I went out to breakfast one morning and I came back and the apartment I was staying at, there was, I walked in and my door just opened, you know. And I'm looking and I look and my TV's gone, right? And so I'm thinking, did I forget to pay my rental bill or something? Like, did they just come and take my TV?

That's my first thought. And so my TV is gone. I walk in the other bedroom, and my other TV is gone. And then I look underneath the nightstand, and all the watches are gone, dude. All six of these watches. And I remember they took everything. They took some shoes, jeans, and just – so I got robbed. You know what I mean?

And it was, like like the worst feeling ever. So I had to pay for all those watches, dude. Like I had to pay for six watches. And I didn't even get a watch. I had to pay for all six of those watches. So it was funny just because that's, like, I had always wanted watches. And I can't say I was, you know, fell all the way into that Keep Up With The Joneses. But I was really excited to get them diamond watches man you know and well it's that's

kind of an interesting thing like here maybe there's a lesson in there yeah you know like God's like yeah yeah I don't think you should be going down that road exactly I mean I'm gonna snatch this away from you before this gets too crazy exactly because that's a there's a good chance I might have started getting chains and big-ass earrings and stuff. But, yeah, that was crazy, man. So what is that like when your whole life is kind of hyper-focused on being this guy in the NFL, and then all of a sudden it's over? Oh, man, it's humbling, man, and it's tough.

And so I've always played football since i was like seventh grade but again i never felt like i was one of those guys football was my life you know like i really loved football but when it was taken from me it was i was one of those guys and i realized how much of my identity football was you know uh right and it wasn't taken it wasn't taken from you on your terms it wasn't your decision like okay i'm done i'm ready to retire it wasn't taken from you on your terms. It wasn't your decision, like, okay, I'm done, I'm ready to retire. It was pulled out from underneath you. Exactly, exactly. And it was like I was depressed, you know, like legit.

I didn't know it at the time. I'm depressed, so I don't know what exactly it means, but I was just extremely down. How could you not be? Right. I don't think we talk enough about that, like the idea of a professional athlete having to transition into civilian life.

Definitely. I mean, there's the rare exceptions of guys that have crazy interests off the field who know post-career they're going to be doing something else, but I think those guys are the exception. Yeah, definitely, especially if you don't have a bunch of money. I didn't amass a a fortune, you know, while I was there for two years. Like it's not a lot, you know.

And so just not knowing what to do and then having this idea that you just were working at the job of your dreams pretty much and then now you have to – there's some resistance to even getting a job that you don't like at all. But you almost have to, and I had to. Well, you know, you're talking about vision and goals and all that kind of stuff, and when your goal is to play in the NFL, like there's no room for any other goal. Right, exactly.

So when that goal's over, then suddenly you're forced with the prospect of coming up with another goal where you've never even really spent any time thinking about that at all because you can't because you're trying to make sure that you stay on the team and you've to focus on what's in front of you to do exactly exactly and and then you're just you're just faced with all of your your your weaknesses your insecurities and that's what i went through for that that three years i was working at a factory job that i like hated that i just it was funny i was working at it just just for a short period of time, I thought. And I remember my son's mom's dad at the time, my son's mom, who I was with for a while when I was in New Orleans,

his dad told me, or her dad told me when I started working at the job, be careful when you work at a job like that, because you can find yourself stuck there for a while. And I'm like, whatever, I'll be there for a couple months. And I was there for a while. And I'm like, whatever. I'll be there for a couple months. And I was there for two and a half years. In New Orleans? No, no, this is back to Portland.

This is back to Portland. And just low energy, not really sure what I was doing. I was just sort of dabbling in things and very, very indecisive, not sure. But ultimately that got me to a point where I was like, all right, enough is enough, you know, and that's when I decided I was going to become a firefighter. It was around the time I started, you know, doing or started I'mNotYou.com and started working with athletes in that way. And I started applying these new things that I was learning through a mentor of

mine, the power of visualization. I mean, I became a firefighter in six months, you know, and I didn't have any, any, any experience whatsoever, you know, and this is a job that's actually statistically harder to get than, you know, to, it's harder to be a firefighter than it is to be a professional athlete, statistically, man. I didn't know that, really. It's, it's incredibly competitive, and because guys are, are in the job for so long, there's just not a lot of turnover, so it's like you got to get in at the right time and so it worked it worked out well and i've just since then it's like i've just

constantly been learning and evolving and just sort of expanding you know my vision you know to where like it's so funny like when you think you have a big vision and then you meet someone else you know and you you get exposed to a new group of people you read a different book and you're like wow there's like so much more, you know, there's so much more. And so I've kind of fallen in love with, with that, with that part of life. So where does the idea to start coaching come in? Like, is that, did that, is that, that's more recent, right? Like, did you, because I mean, you know, at some point you became like this kind of evangelist of, of, you know, being an online person, right?

Right, right. Which is very different from firefighting and being in the NFL, right? Like getting involved with, you know, communicating online with people. So, I mean, were you reading, like how did that come up for you? Yeah, so when I first started coaching, I had no idea of podcasts and online blogs and any of that. I just wanted to start coaching athletes, and I didn't know any squad about business. Right. So you're just like at a high school near where you live or something like that? Right. I was at a gym that I developed a

relationship with a guy who has a gym, Pace, there in Portland, Oregon, and a guy there who was training me, his name's David McHenry, he was training me, and then he opened up his gym to me and started training. And I actually didn't even want to be a coach, but athletes there were seeing what I was doing. They're like, yo, could I work with you? And I started doing that. And I was doing that in a different name than I'm not you.com. I'm not you.com came when I started reading a lot of, I started reading books and I started expanding my vision. I was like, I didn't even know that this stuff was possible, that you can make a, you can make like real money doing this. You can, you can, can and i and i love doing this you know and so what books were you reading so first was entrepreneur on fire is the podcast that i

started uh john lee yes exactly um and then through through his podcast i was literally like following everyone who he interviewed so i would like buy the books that they recommend uh i remember i first i the first book that really started everything was Law of Attraction. That was the book that my mentor recommended to me. And then just kept reading, kept expanding. Like 50th Law was another book that I read. And then I got a hold of Ramit Sethi, who's a guy who's killing it online. And I bought his course, Zero to Launch, where it taught me how to launch an online product. And from there, it was really just like then the momentum was going.

Now I'm reading everything I can get my hands on, you know, listening to all types of podcasts. And then I was like, yo, I'm not limited to working with athletes here in Portland. I can work with, I can come up with online products. I could package my information in such a way where I can reach athletes in Africa and Australia, wherever, you know, and, and then I got this idea to start coaching online, which not a lot of people are doing, especially to the athletes that I'm targeting and not doing the things that I'm doing. There's like sports psychologists and things like that, but I feel like they're not really solving any real, it's like you're not getting to the root of it, you know, you're not getting

these people what they actually want, you know, like no one wants to be diagnosed and labeled, you know, and, you know, whatever these guys are doing. And so that's how I really started, man. And I started I'm not you dot com. Just what does that mean? Like why? I'm not you. Right. So it was funny, man.

I was trying to figure out what how I could convey this emotion that I had in a name, you know, and I was, and there's a song called I'm not you that I used to love that I still love. It's by clips. It's a rap song. I'm a big hip hop guy. I love hip hop, man. And so, and in this song he's talking about, he's like, you know, these guys are like talking about dealing drugs and things like that. But in this particular song, he's like, a lot of you guys are talking about what it is that you want to do, but you don't really live it. He's like, I'm not you. Don't get me confused with you. I'm actually the type of guy who's in the trenches, who will do what it takes.

And so I related to that so much because since I was younger, I always felt like I was that type of guy. Everyone used to talk about going to the NFL and doing this and these guys were like better than me like had more talent But I was actually the one I was willing to do what it took like I wasn't the one who was scared I was the one that You know Like sort of was inspired by people telling me I couldn't do it and would ignore that and would Listen to what it is that I wanted and go after what I wanted and I was like, that's the mindset like I'm not you Like you have to have that type of mindset that when you hear that this,

you know, if you want to start a restaurant, you know, who would start a restaurant now? Like, the statistics, right? But there's someone that's starting a restaurant, like, right now, and it's going to kill. It's going to, like, be a freaking hit, right? Because they have that mindset. I'm not you.

Of course, there's statistics on restaurants. It's like they drop within, you know. Yeah, they all fail. Same thing with business. I mean, you can look at online businesses as well even. I'm sure there are going to be some statistics coming out on that. But are you going to be the guy who listens to that and says, oh, well, I guess I can't do an online business

or I guess I can't go to the NFL. I busted my wrist up, you know, my last year at Portland State. And I had a bunch of scouts looking at me. And I had my friend, my close friends telling me, like, yo, like you probably shouldn't waste your time. Like, you know. Right. You showed up at the combine with a broken wrist.

Right. So just before I had my cast taken off. But I couldn't do the bench press. I had my wrist look like a chicken bone. Like it was so small, you know. know but during that time i trained my ass off and i squatted like four days a week i did everything that i could do other than you know something things having to do with my wrist and i was prepared and i ran you know faster than any fullback there i jumped high you know what i'm saying and i ran fast and i caught the ball and so i didn't do the bench press which is

the only thing that i was really limited on. But it's like you have to have the mindset that I'm willing to do what you're not. Like that might deter you, but not me. And so I feel like that's the mindset you have. That's the mindset anyone who has the success is like, okay, that's fine, but I'm not you. I'm not part of the 98%. I'm part of the 2%. But when you're working with athletes, I mean, that's self-generated. Like you wanted it, right?

Right. That fire is burning inside of you. But you can kind of light a spark for somebody, but they've got to generate their own fire. Exactly. So you can coach all day long if you want with these people, but if they don't want it, they're not going to do the work or it's just not going to happen. Right. And that's what I'm interested in doing is showing a young athlete how you can spark that fire, how you can cultivate that desire to be so strong that you're willing to do anything it takes to reach a goal.

And that's the challenge that I love. I love taking an athlete who's sort of just lackluster and lazy. I love it when I meet an athlete and their parents tell me that they're lazy and that they don't work that hard and that they, you know, are half-assed all the time. Like, I like that. That's a good challenge for me because I know that's not really who they are. They just haven't found their purpose yet. They haven't found a big enough reason, a big enough, you know,

desire underneath that goal to, like, really light it, you know. And that's what drives me, you know. And that's why it was so incredible going to that Tony Robbins convention, because I'm like, he just did that for like 10,000 people do like this place was on fire. He did that like he he found he helped us find something in each one of us like he didn't do it right. But he helped us. He guided us to that point because he's not going to be the reason why people change. It's you who are going to have to change. But he can be the catalyst for that. He can spark the fire in you or help you to that one key distinction or just that one thing that can get you going, man. And that that really drives me. But the difference is, I mean, with Tony Robbins, he can he can ignite that spark.

He can inspire you, but he's ignite that spark. He can inspire you. But he's not going to be following up with you six months later to see where you're at. You know what I mean? That's on you. So, you know, one of the things that I always talk about and that I'm interested in is bridging that gap that exists between inspiration and action. Yes. And I think, you know, you can be inspired, but inspiration wanes pretty quickly. Exactly.

So you just had this amazing experience with Tony Robbins, right? But if you don't do anything, a week from now, that memory starts to fade pretty quick. Exactly. So you've got to jump on it and start taking actions that create momentum, right? Exactly. And over time, those little actions that you take, I feel like people want results so quickly. Yeah. And they don't want to do the little things. You're talking about Drew Brees in the rehab room

doing the annoying little exercises that no one wants to do. And when you're doing that, you're like, what does this have to do with me being an elite performer? I don't feel like I'm doing anything. I don't really need to do this without realizing that it's that commitment to those little things on a daily basis, that constant pressure to the details, that actually is the thing yeah you know what I mean yeah exactly and and and a lot of it boils down to like where I can see you fitting

in is is being you know being somebody who can stand as a person who can hold people accountable right like somebody who's checking in and they know like if they don't you know tell you what's going on that you know right what i mean yep accountability is huge and then self-accountability and so that's why ruthless self-evaluation that's what i call it it's like it's something that i teach athletes how to do how to evaluate yourselves and actually enjoy it and so that's why the daily habits and the systems is so important like you said it's so easy to get inspired and motivated and that's not that's that's part of what i do but that's just a that's why the daily habits and the systems are so important. Like you said, it's so easy to get inspired and motivated,

and that's part of what I do, but that's a small part, and that's one of the ways that I might hook an athlete or get him to get excited. But then how do you take that momentum and apply it to the daily action that you need to take on a daily basis? So that's where target practice comes in, which is the system I told you about, which is doing the things that you need to do every day, those small things that might take you 20 minutes at most, you know, having a system

for how you set up your week. Like I want to the blueprint, which is that goal execution system I told you about, which is like not just having this big ass goal, but like, what do you what is your three month goal? Like, what are you planning to accomplish by the end of this month? You know, and having those measurable and being able to track them on your own, where now I have like 13 year old athletes who are journaling every day, who are setting up their own goals, you know, and their parents are like, yo, I can, like, like, they actually want to know what they're doing, because they're not getting results in

their own job. And they're like, it's not like you can do that. Like, you can teach an athlete how to do that, like have a system where I to it, to where you can do that without me, actually. This is the system that you now have, and it's more than an actual journal. It's a way of thinking. It's the way that you look at evaluation, the way that you look at getting better, the way you look at frustration or progress. You see what I'm saying? And so ruthless self-evaluation being able to objectively identify weaknesses like daily you know and notice what's working what's not working

and that's where and willingness to work on the weaknesses like it's you know athletes love to work on what they're they're good at you know like if you're good at the 40 and you suck at the bench press like you know you're going to be doing the 40 all day right right because you can strut a little bit you know what i mean and you don't want to do the bench press because, you know, you suck at that. Exactly. Exactly. But it's the commitment to work on the weaknesses that that's the hard part. Yeah. You said something we were talking about commitment to the process earlier, but I can't remember where it was, but you said something about how it annoys you. Like this idea. One of the things I always talk about is like, don't like you set your goal but then on a daily basis like you can't get too

caught up in the results like I have to just embrace the process right you have kind of a different take on that yes so I actually I get annoyed with the idea like with the idea that you have to forget about your goal right and so this was one of the things that confused me a lot as I was reading a lot of books. I'm like, okay, you got this guy, he's telling you, you know, just forget about the goal, you know, focus on mastery. And I get that. You gotta, you gotta master things. But, and then you have this one extreme where it's like, you know, uh,

this motivational type thing, like, Oh, you can do anything you want, but it's no focus on, on, on. Right. That's meaningless structure. structure exactly but so i like to i tell my my athletes to to be obsessed with their goal there's nothing wrong with that you have to be obsessed with what it is that you want but that obsession has to be channeled in such a way that you take that obsession and apply it directly to what is right in front of you right now. And so like, if you did that, and if you had that type of mindset, then you'd be excited to work out, you would want to work out, you'd be excited to, you know, for practice on Monday morning,

when everyone else is down and tired. But if you're the type who's, who's so obsessed with the goal, and you don't care about what needs to be done in order to get it, like you're going to get frustrated a lot. And that's what happens with me a lot. That's what happens with a lot of athletes. And so it's a constant monitoring. It's a balance, you know, life is a balance. And it's like, you, you can't be the guy who's just, you know, going along and focused on like, you have to set a goal. Otherwise you're going to wander aimlessly. Right. But then you back it up, you back it, you bet you, you step back from that and create the stepping stone goals. So maybe today, you know, every, every workout has to have a specific purpose. You don't just go and train without knowing why it is that you're doing what you're doing, right? So today

is the day that I'm doing my tempo run workout, or today's the day that I'm doing chest and arms in the gym or whatever, and approaching, you know, each, you know, set with that, you know, presence of mind and mindfulness so that you're completely anchored and focused on what you're doing right now, as opposed to daydreaming about the future. Like, oh, it's going to be great when I'm at the Super Bowl. It's like, no, dude, you got to like do this right now and put everything you have into that. So I think that's more what I mean or maybe what more other people are meaning. It doesn't mean that you you're you're not cognizant or consciously aware of the goal and why you're doing what you're doing.

But I think it takes that focus and it places it kind of in the moment of what you're doing there as opposed to in some undefined future place. Exactly. And that's the distinction that's so important, that helped me out so much and that I have to remind myself of constantly and that I the that's the distinction that's that's so important that that helped me out so much and that i have to remind myself of constantly and that i should that i want to tell athletes is like you don't have to look at this goal that's so far away you can take that energy that you feel that obsession and bring that energy into right now and so right now at this workout and apply that on a daily basis and you can condition yourself to do that so when i was

with the saints of that 2009 season like it was very clear in the beginning of that season what the goal was and it was to win a super bowl and everyone there knew it jeremy shock he had just got traded to the team uh drew breves was there the team was stacked ready to go and every single practice every single uh meeting it was brought up that was what our goal was and that intensity is what gets you through tough losses that that that obsession that that energy that comes with that is what gets you through you know those those rough patches those hot days that's what drives you you know and so it's a it's like you said it's taking that energy and putting it into the moment

you know and then you actually realize that like this this is fun as hell. You know what I mean? Like, right. Like those hard workouts, man, those freaking hundred degree days, like you miss that, you know, cause that, that intensity was there. There's two schools of thoughts, uh, thought when it comes to big goals, there's one school of thought that says, you know, tell everyone plaster your goal everywhere, write it on your bathroom mirror, everybody you talk to, let them know what your goal is. You know, create some public accountability. You're on the hook. And then there's another school of thought that says your goal is your own private thing.

Be careful who you share it with. Like, really covet it. You know, like this is your own. This is very precious to you. And you have to be protective of it because once you share it, then everybody has an opinion on it. You can get derailed and you can be influenced by people who start to tell you, well, that's not realistic. Maybe you should do that.

So where do you come down on that? Definitely the second school of thought. I'm not a guy who will tell you to go out there and announce your biggest goals to the world. And like you said, one of the reasons for that, like you talked about, and younger athletes are definitely more vulnerable, I would say, to this as well. But we're all vulnerable to it, and we like to underestimate how people around us influence us. But even a smirk from a coworker or your mom saying, oh, really?

That's what you want to do? Or your dad or your brother, these are things that can throw you off track and can sap you of your your level of belief and so i don't believe in i believe in sharing your goals with people who are really going to support you and that usually is going to be like a small handful of people yeah you got to choose those people carefully exactly for me that's my wife and you know my brothers and things like that but other than that man it's like i do believe in having your goals be very visual and so having finding new creative ways to have your goal be able to see your goals and so I have vision boards and I have pictures of

what it is that I want to accomplish and those help drive me and things like that but again those are in places that I like to keep private and I don't like everyone coming into my office and not everybody can walk in and look at your vision board. Yeah. I tell my wife, like when I'm not at home, like, like a high school girl with like pictures from magazines cut out. Like,

I like, I like to keep my junk personal, man. And so like, and again, cause I, I kind of under, I've underestimated how, how much,

you know, people's opinions and things. And we all like to believe that we don't care what people think, but that's not true. Everyone cares to some degree. And so I work to, you know, people's opinions and things. And we all like to believe that we don't care what people think, but that's not true. Everyone cares to some degree. And so I work to, you know, increase my level of confidence and my ability so much so that, you know, that's not a factor. But in the meantime, I keep my goals private and, you know, and make sure I share them with people who, who are going to empower me and hold me accountable. What kind of method do you use to teach visualization?

So there's a process, if you will, but I don't have like a name for it yet. But I've learned it through many different books. One of the books that was key in me learning how to visualize was Peak Performance. And I can't remember the guy's name, but you can look it up, Peak Performance. But learning how to really actually relax yourself first and so i use music a lot and so i do these guided visualizations over music and so the process is real simple but getting yourself in a really relaxed state and so that was one thing that was missing when i was younger i never knew how to like relax or or get into that state but your

your subconscious is more easily influenced in that state and so you're kind of quiet in your conscious mind that that doubting you know a little voice that's like, yeah, right. You kind of train yourself to quiet that. And then I like to start off just thinking about anything that gets me feeling good. At any given moment, it can be, you know, when my kid was born or, you know, when I was young and drinking a Slurpee with my brothers or, you know, when I scored a touchdown. Just get myself in a state that I'm feeling good. It doesn't have to be related to my sport. And then I start to visualize. So I start to imagine whatever it is that I'm doing going exactly as I want it to go.

So I picture how I'd be moving, what I'd be seeing, what I'd be smelling, how I'd feel, you know, and I start to like actually smile in that way and just feel that. And then I sort of have this thing where I sort of step into it. So I imagine that I'm stepping inside of that person, you know, and then the last step is just letting it go. So actually, like almost like you're, you have a letter, you know know and you put the stamp on it and you put it in the mailbox you just let it go like your your job is done and so that's a really key distinction that i learned later on that that gets you that sort of trains you to not be so anxious about getting that result so just just have faith man like you've done you've done your work you did it and so that would be like how many minutes would that be that's about 12 minutes like i mean that's something you do like every day or

yeah so i i do it every day i do it in the morning and so this is i actually just created the track through my online course dominate which i just came out with a few weeks ago the but that's one of the things that i included in there but it's's a 12 minute track. And I like music is a big like I'm very much my emotional state is is influenced highly by music, you know. And so for any given person, it might be certain type of music. I really like hip hop, man. So I get I get hype, you know. And so that elicits good emotions for me, you know. And so that's what I use in the backdrop. And so I also make affirmation tracks, which I basically like, I probably have about 20 or 30 of these where I'm just describing success

and how I see it, you know, everything from, you know, what I do in the morning to what I actually, as a firefighter, I have tracks where I describe exactly how I am on a fire scene and what I'm doing and what things I'm paying attention to. And I listen to these. Like, I just play them. I listen to them while I'm working, while I'm working out. I listen to them while I'm in the car.

I have my kids make them. And it's fun, but it really is like, I mean, people can debate whether or not that stuff works or not. I think it does, and I've seen it in my own life and so it like when i'm noticing it's really fun to notice yourself doing something that you established earlier that you wanted to do you know and you're like like damn i that was that was my goal like i i recorded that you know like and i was actually just showing this to my wife i was listening to a a track that i that i created like a couple years back you know you know, before I became a firefighter, it was like, damn, like, I'm like, I actually did a lot of this shit. Like I did it. You know what I mean?

So you record these affirmations just for yourself though? Yeah. I see. I got it. Yeah. But the, the visualization tracks that I created those for my athletes. Right. I gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. I think it's powerful, especially if you're trying to kind of undo, you know, bad habits or, you know, poor thinking habits around, you know, negative thought patterns. If you want to overcome them, you know, you got to you got to take actions, you know, and those actions have to be taken consistently. It doesn't happen overnight. That's a that's a long road, you know know to kind of like untangle that and plug it

back in differently exactly and the way i like to describe it is because there's some you know books that you'll read and these i've read books like this that say like you just make an affirmation and you're gonna you're gonna start to see i'm like yeah i'm like like are you for real like it's it's almost like insulting but are you it's one it's only one tool it's just like anything else like it's a tool like you can't have you can't just visualize you must take action as well but i've seen a lot of people take action with no vision and that doesn't work out either so it's a tool it's a complete set and when you develop that arsenal as an athlete man then you become like unstoppable and that's what i've noticed as i get further on this journey and

that you know i see guys you know guys like you or guys in in different areas you know different elements of of uh different arenas that have achieved a certain level of success is it's not like one thing man it's like it's mastery and it's and it's mastery in many different areas and it's a commitment to being great like every day you know it's not like this well like you said it's not this one cool thing that if you do this like online I know a lot of guys with online businesses and I fell victim to this is like you have this idea that you're just one little trick away from like no it's a process man like it's a it's a grind and it's a it's a hustle

it's a it's a it's a collection of of strategies and tools that you have to perfect and keep perfecting and you'll you'll see you'll see the results and it's in the micro actions you know like for example you know words are really important right words that come out of your mouth and and and you know for the most part i know myself and most people we don't you know we don't think about that that much right you know, stuff comes out of your mouth, whatever you're thinking. And we don't really gauge like the impact of that on, on, you know, how that's influencing our behavior in a more macro sense, right? So if you're walking around kicking the dog all the time, or just, this sucks, or negative, and these words are coming out of your mouth, like that's a loop, you know, that's

a loop that is going to lead you in a certain direction. And, you know, this is a challenge for me. Like I shared about this on a podcast recently, but I was listening to a podcast and I heard an interview with this guy, Brian Grazer, who's a he's a very successful movie producer. And he's a cool dude. And he's a cool dude, and he said something really interesting in the podcast that just stuck with me, which somebody asked him, like, what do you attribute your success to or your longevity in your career? And he said, I'm really good at gratitude. He's like, I'm really good at gratitude. It's like such a weird – it's not an answer that you would expect.

Right, right. And I was like, wow, that's like really powerful. And I'm not good at gratitude. You know, I can be grateful, but it's not my default. Right, right, right. I've got some rewiring to do. Right. And so my wife and I just, we were on a big trip. We were all over Europe and we were in Boston.

We just got back from being on the road for like two weeks. And so I told her when we were traveling, I go, I get really aggravated traveling, going in and out of airports, having to deal with people that, you know, and waiting in lines and stuff like that. And I just get grumpy. I was like, I'm not going to be grumpy. I'm going to like, I'm going to be the happy traveler. I'm just going to be grateful. I'm going to like look everyone in the eye and smile and say, thank you. And like, that's not natural for me. You know? And I was like,

I wasn't perfect. I wouldn't give myself an A, but I give myself like a solid B. And it transformed our trip. Like my wife was like, wow. You know, at times I was like joking. I'd be like, thank you so much. You know, I'd look at my wife and, you know, but it was because, but I made a conscious effort to think about that and to change the way that I communicate. And just by changing the words that were coming out of my mouth, that changed my mood. Like I had a better, it was a better experience. And so that requires being mindful like all the time, like all day long in the moment. Like, you know, because you just, you do it and then you forget.

Exactly. Because you go back to your default, right? It takes work to be present enough to go, I have a choice in this moment about how I'm going to act or react. I don't have to react the way that I always do because I tell myself, I'm this person and this is how I behave. Exactly. You can change that, but it's not an overnight thing, man, you know?

Yeah, it is, yeah. You have to be committed to that process and to walking that road. And it's not an overnight thing, man, you know? Yeah, it is, yeah. So you have to be committed to that process and to walking that road, and it's work. There's no way around that, you know? And so, you know, it's interesting. It'll be interesting to see how your athletes do as they mature, and it's cool, man. It's cool what you're doing.

It's cool, man. It's cool what you're doing. What do the guys in the firehouse think? Like, oh, some crazy online. What are you doing? Because they're just like, how many of those guys have kind of a second career that they're looking at at the same time, like moonlighting on something else? Right. I don't know how much they're moonlighting,

but there's some guys who have some things that they do on the side. But honestly, man, it's something that I sort of keep close to me. There's obviously guys that know what I'm doing and things. And there's even some guys that I work with that, you know, I actually shared the peak performance book with one of my friends that was actually he just won and got first place in the stair climb in Portland. Oh, wow. Yeah, and so he's, like, trying to win the Seattle one, and I keep telling him, man, like, you can do that, man.

Like, you're just close, you know, but he's, like, an incredible athlete, man. This guy's, like, flies up those stairs. Well, firefighters are competitive, too, man. Yeah, yeah. Is there, like, you guys having competitions in the firehouse all the time? Oh, yeah, definitely. We have, like um these monthly you know sort of uh workout challenges and stuff like that but it's honestly man like it's a it really just

depends on who you work with you know there's a because it's like a job that you work there for so many years uh usually uh you got older guys you have older guys and you have younger guys so it's kind of similar to the nfl in that it's just a collection of unique people. And at any given day, you can have a really interesting crew or you can have a boring crew. You can have a fun crew. You can have a dreadful crew. So it's kind of like shaking a dice.

But you have a schedule, right, where you work like a couple days on and then you're off for a little bit, right? work 24 hours on you have some free time yeah definitely this stuff yeah definitely i got good free time and like when you you know uh and and i i've been blessed to work with guys who are like really cool guys you know what i mean that are really supportive and my particular crew uh 74 a shift you know like uh you guys like to work out you know and stay active and things like that so it's pretty cool you've been in some crazy fires yes yeah uh my gresham city gresham man we have a lot of fires so like usually a firefighter depending on where you live man you don't see a lot of fires in your career it's not something that happens all the time but

mostly you're like showing up where some old lady had a heart attack exactly yeah a lot of medical calls but in my particular city man it's pretty rough like there's a lot of are you in portland like no so i there's portland fire department there's gresham gresham is on the outskirts of portland so it's smaller like a hundred thousand people um but pretty low income and it's a lot of crime a lot of things like that so you definitely see a lot of things that shake your world up a little bit but i've i've learned a lot man becoming a firefighter it was crazy because going from you kind of have a appreciation for for mastery because when you go to something that you've been good at for so long you kind of take for granted that you've been good at it and then i became a firefighter it's like i didn't know anything so i'm like

coming in last and everything, you know. Like, you know, just not knowing what the hell I'm doing, just looking stupid, like, asking questions. That guy's like, you don't know what that is. I'm like, you know, what's this? But it's extremely humbling, but it makes you appreciate, like I said, just mastery, man, and having to do that all over again. And it's really fun and it's very rewarding as well,

especially when you can make a difference in somebody's life. Have you been in a fire where you really thought your life was on the line? Not yet. I haven't been in a fire where I've been my life on the line. But when you go on your first couple fires, all fire feels like that. At least for me it did. I'm like, shoot. But after a while, it's just kind of routine.

And just like anything, man, you pay attention to the details, you know, because not paying attention to details can get you killed. Right. So there's always that sense of urgency surrounding what you're doing. But it's just like anything, man. You just train, train your ass off and keep learning and you'll be fine. Do you think that your, I mean, is your goal, maybe you don't want to tell me your goal. I'm supportive, man.

Are you, are you, do you want to step into like the coaching full time or do you want to continue to do both? I want to continue to do both men. And really, I think that there's a way for me to expand my reach online, you know, simultaneously, you know, while I'm still being a firefighter. So, and that's why online is so cool, man. Like I said, I just came up with my online product, my first one,

and it was like so cool. I'm like, I can, there's no limit to like who I can reach or what the time limit on this is. It's like writing a book, which is something I want to do eventually. It's a crazy time, man. Exactly, man. Like writing a book, somebody can pick, your book is going to last as long as books are here, you know, and that's a pretty cool feeling, you know, and I want to, I want to be able to have

that level of impact and not have it be, you know, depending on where I am or what else I choose to do, you know, at certain times in my life. Cool. Well, I got a, I got a couple more questions I want to ask you. One thing I want to do is have you kind of walk me through your morning routine or kind of what a day in the life of your life, particularly in the context of these tools that you're using that are improving your life. Definitely. And the tools that you're sort of teaching these athletes. Yep. So morning time, this is ideal, obviously, you know,

but waking up, like taking a cold shower is a new habit that I've taken on that's been pretty life-changing, if you will. And one of the reasons. You've been listening to Wim Hof on all these podcasts? No, so I actually just heard about Wim Hof, but when I first heard about cold showers, who did I hear about at first from? I can't remember who I first heard it from, but Tony Robbins talks about it as well.

Yeah, he does like the cryotherapy and all that too. Right, right. Because he's going to live to be like 200. Yeah, exactly. But that's been a really good habit in just waking you up and really goes to start your day off doing something that you feel uncomfortable doing and just kind of shakes you up a little bit. But meditating has been a game changer for me.

So I use Headspace. And when I first started using that, man, I actually first started using this app called Calm. And I would just do it like five minutes a day. And when I first became a firefighter, I had really high blood pressure. And it's been a problem for a while. But since I've been using Calm, like 50 points lower, man. Wow. Like a legit, like, average score, you like 50 points lower man like a legit like average

score you know when before it was like 180 over something you know so that's a big a big difference that I've seen there so calm or doing the headspace and then visualizing and so I have a couple different ways that I do it and I kind of mix it up but again those those tracks that I told you about that I record over hip-hop music and then I journal. And so like I said, I have this thing called a blueprint where I pretty much go through a list of questions. It's all in a form of questions. And I start off by identifying the things that I'm grateful for, you know, and so just noticing the things that are going well in my life. And again, man, it's like, it's a good habit to start. And I encourage anyone to, like, if you haven't felt so grateful that you want to cry, then you haven't felt the level yet. And I just got to this this weekend, actually.

But I think that the practice of me doing this every day has led me up to this point, you know, and sort of exercising that gratitude muscle. So the journaling is like a gratitude list, or what is the actual thing that you're journaling? So I'll show you. So that's one part, you know, so I start off this sequence of questions. And so after I identify what I'm grateful for, I write down my goals. Like so I'll write down either my short term or longer term goals in the form of affirmations like it's real. And it's just a it's a habit that I've gotten into just writing down what it is that what it is that I want. And that that, again, gets me focused on what it is that what it is that i want and that that again gets me focused on what it is that i need to do today to get that then the next question i ask myself is how do i

decide to feel today so like instead of feeling however i feel like i want to decide how i want to feel and i have recipes for how to do that but which what is what is the emotion that i want to have today whether it's like i want to be really patient and calm today, or I want to be, I got to be on fire. Cause I'm, I got a podcast interview that I'm doing, or, you know, I'm hanging out with my wife all day. I want to be really, you know, relaxed, you know, and, and, uh, and sort of just calm, you know, cause I've had to learn how to distinguish those two, you know, I can't come home to my wife, you know, uh, fired up, you know, uh, she doesn't respond too well to that. But, and then identifying, like, this is a question that I asked, like, if I was crazy committed to reaching

my top, my top priority goal, what would I do today? And that's a good question to ask, because it kind of like, gets me thinking, like, outside of the box, instead of just doing the normal things, like, I was crazy. Like, what would I do today? You know, like, what I – and that sort of exercise and that creativity muscle is good. And then I identify what is my workout for today, and I write it down. And then say, what are the top three goals or outcomes that I want to achieve? So, like, what is the end result? And then what are the top five actions that I need to take to achieve those outcomes? And so that just gives you an idea of, like, the morning process of my journal.

And so how long does that whole morning routine take you? Probably 40, 45 minutes. The journaling takes about 10 minutes. All those questions that I asked fits on or that I just told you fit on one page. Right. Yeah. That's a good practice, man. Yeah. And it came as like, you know, you read a bunch of books that everyone's telling you what you should do every day. I'm like, how am I going to do all those? Well well the morning routine starts getting longer and longer and longer it's like this is like two hours of stuff that's like five journals that you should have because they're like you should carry around a journal for this and so I just created one journal and I make them I make a new one each month you know and so like I and I'm constantly adding to it and taking things

out um and so then man after my morning routine it really like I'll just give you on off, you know, that's when I hang out with my family in the morning after, you know, my kids usually come into my office in the morning. I love getting that knock on the door, you know, when they're getting ready for school and go eat breakfast with them, things like that. My wife go work out, or me and my wife go work out about nine or something. And then about noon is, noon to about four, that's when I get my work done. So that's me working on my projects, working with athletes over the phone. Sometimes I might go to the gym to work with them there because I have a handful of clients that I work with, you know, one-on-one. Luckily, yeah.

Yep. And so that's that time block that I get my work done in my office and things like that. And then it's shutting it down later on in the night and hanging out with my family and, you know, doing their homework, you know, chilling out in the backyard, whatever that is. And we usually go to sleep pretty late, you know, because we still have a hard time getting all our kids to bed at the time that we want them to. And it just feels like there's – it's like on the one hand we're like, you know, they have to go to sleep at this time.

But then it's like I feel like I want to hang out with them, you know. Like I don't want them to go to sleep yet. So it's kind of hard getting in that balance. But we usually find ourselves asleep by, you know, 11 or 12, you know. But at night is when I do my my daily evaluation. And so that's really important. And again, I go through the things that I'm grateful for, write down my goals again. And then I identify, like, what did I do today? And then what were the things that I didn't do that I said I was going to do? And then why didn't I do them? And so through that, I start to see trends, you know, and so I start to get good at noticing the things that are like easily holding me back or I start to get

a little bit more reasonable what I say I'm going to do on a daily basis, you know, and so it gets, I don't, it gets, sometimes it frustrates me when I put a lot of bunch of things on my to do list and I only get a few done. But I've become OK with that because it's like there's really only a few things anyway that make the biggest difference. And so I have my thing I call my one thing. So what is my one thing? What is the one thing I got to do today that if I don't do anything else, I do it. And so I evaluate myself that night if I did my one thing. And if you did, what made it easier to do it if I didn't why didn't I do it you know and then again I uh identify what are the things I have to do tomorrow

and things like that so again that all fits on one page so it's a when I uh first show my athletes this journal like they kind of kind of overwhelmed right yeah it's like that's it's it's work right it is and that's what it's work so Right, it is. And that's what, it's work. So you talked about consciously, you know, identifying weaknesses. So for the gratitude thing, right? It's how easy is it going to be for you to just forget, you know, and just let that be something that you continue to do pretty much forever unless you consciously identify. And this is a system that I created.

You have to make an effort to, like, constantly be reconnecting with it. Right, right. And that's what this blueprint does for me and does for my athletes. It just does it in a systematic way where it just reminds you of continuously and constantly conditioning and reinforcing that morning and night. Nice. And what about this evaluation that you give to your wife and your kids? Oh, yeah. I want to talk about this.

So, man. Can you give me a copy of that i definitely can i actually have a pdf i can share it with you with your uh followers as well because i i came up i put all the questions it's a google doc that i originally created like an actual survey that i would email to my wife and my and my daughter you know like a report card on your behavior right exactly and so i can't remember when this exactly started, but I remember the feeling around the time. It was like like there's all these I'm sitting here telling my athletes they need to evaluate themselves and they need to be very, you know, objective about, you know, being able to identify weaknesses and stuff. And at the particular time, me and my wife are going through a pretty rough patch.

You know, it's like I was a new firefighter. It's like I'm away all the time. She's like overwhelmed with the kids, man. I'm like gone, you know, like, you know, putting all like I was a new firefighter. It's like I'm away all the time. She's, like, overwhelmed with the kids. Man, I'm, like, gone. You know, like, and, you know, putting all this work on my business. And it was tough for us, you know, like tempers going, you know, and getting arguments and things. And I'm like, yo, I need to figure out, like, what can I do to, like, get better consistently? Because I know I got a lot of work to do as a husband, so I don't want to overwhelm myself with the frustration of knowing I'm not like fulfilling all of the things that she expects from me. Like, why don't I just start getting better? You know, and so I just came up with a list of questions where it's like, yo, like how.

So this is like rate me on a scale of one to ten and like, let's say communication, right? Things that she feels is important. So communications is big time. So rate me one to ten. And if it's not a ten, tell me what I can do to make it a ten. So that gets her to basically give me the answers to the test in a way that's not going to make me upset, that she doesn't have to be upset when asking it or telling me. And everyone's happy it's like and I also there are certain questions on there where I basically ask her to tell me like tell me one thing that I did this week that was just like awesome that you were just like blown away by you know and give me an example

of it describe it and that reinforces that behavior with me you know that gets her to start looking right I mean like because if you know you're going to give her the evaluation sheet the survey right and she's going to have to answer that question so you better show up in some way beforehand and do something exactly exactly and it's just and reading it makes it easier to to swallow like i get i mean my wife would tell you i get i've gotten to where and we actually just had one of these conversations uh just yesterday on the because we just drove up to the bay area it was like six hours to visit my brothers and stuff and i had her pretty much i was just like yo just be dead ass honest with me you know about uh this particular thing you know just i want you to tell me how i show up to you like what do i like just tell me

like don't try to filter it don't like i just want you to tell me like you're in a confessional and you're just and she told me and i anxiety you know while i'm hearing it i'm just like there's a couple times i wanted to be like man she's sitting right over there by the way maybe she just come on here and like and like say what it is oh man yeah man but she would tell me and she told me everything, man. It's like, it's hard to hear, but it's like, I need to hear it. And I was quiet afterwards. Like, I was quiet, as she told me.

And it was silence. And I know she knew it was hard for me to hear. And then after about, like, five minutes, you know, I responded. And we talked about it and things like that. But the initial, like, evaluation that I set up set up you know when we're asking these questions led me up to the point where I can I can get deeper and closer with my wife you know like I got she can have those conversations and it's not a fight right exactly and that's how you cultivate deeper intimacy right right and knowing her knowing the man that I

want to be so she knows she knows exactly who I want to be she knows all my goals she knows how I will see myself how I want to feel every day that I want to be. So she knows, she knows exactly who I want to be. She knows all my goals. She knows how I see myself, how I want to feel every day, how I want to treat my wife and my kids. And it's okay that I'm not there yet, but she knows where I want to be. So she's able to evaluate me, help evaluate me based on that criteria. And also just the fact that you're doing it shows that you have an interest in being better, right? Like that you're committed to the relationship. Exactly. Exactly. And it sets a good precedent man my daughter actually loves it like she gets she asked me kids fill it out yeah just my oldest daughter right now you know and um she like when i don't send it she asked me like are you sending it you know like

and i want to find a way to like automate or something but she she really loves it man and it it's just it's really less about the actual, it's more of like the mindset of just wanting to improve and genuinely wanting to serve, especially those who are closest to you. Like, and if my wife, if things are going well with my wife and my kids, man, I'm on top of the world, you know?

And so if there's anything worth investing in, if there's any evaluation I should do, it's as a father and as a husband. You know what I mean? And so I just had to take my own advice. And I've tried to get better at that and just not taking things personal and just being able to literally objectively hear things about myself. And I have an accountability partner as well. We talk every Friday. And we ask ourselves the same questions, like like how do I show up to you you know and so I tell I tell the people

this all the time like I give my wife my wife permission like if I'm acting like a little bitch you can tell me like stop being a little bitch like I got to that point I wasn't always at that point but my wife can tell me that if you if you acting if you're doing things that that aren't consistent with how you ultimately want to be like I want you to tell me you know and i don't don't care if i get mad if i get mad that's good you know i'll get mad i'll get my feelings but it's almost just like boiling out all the impurities you know like and then hopefully at the end you got something pure there you know what is this accountability partner oh it's just for your business yeah it's one of my

friends and i actually met him through uh through one of the online courses that I took. And so he's one of my good friends, James. And he keeps me accountable, man. And we have a set of things that are important to, like, I want him to ask me about how things are going with my wife and how certain weaknesses that I have, like, what I'm doing on those. And it's to the point now, and we get better and better at it. In the beginning, it's a little awkward, you know. So you want to, you're being honest with him, and you're like, oh, is he going to take this the wrong way? But we've gotten good at this, and he calls me out, you know what i mean and and i'm getting better at doing the same for him and it's

it's it's actually gets pretty fun you know because when you like come face to face with your weaknesses instead of trying to run from a man like i feel like you get more that's what courage is you know like you get more confidence that way you don't get less confidence by facing your weaknesses you get more as long as you're taking action to improve them. You know what I mean? Yeah, I love it, man. Send me that PDF. I'll definitely do that.

All right. All right. Last question. For the athletes that are listening or even just somebody who perhaps is feeling stuck in their life, maybe an athlete who's hit a plateau or somebody who feels like they're in a job they don't want to be in or what, or, or what have you, you know, what is one piece of advice that you can give one actionable item that they can implement into their life to start to shift that experience? Okay. One actionable item. I would challenge everyone to sit down, to block everything, turn off all your phones phones uh go go somewhere where it'll be

just you and i want you to write down a clear vision for yourself a clear like in an ideal world how would you show up what would you do what would you what would you how would you dress how would you talk how much would you earn that this that process of coming up with a very clear vision is is is been the most important thing for me, you know, because if you don't have that vision, it's like everything you're doing, you don't know where it ultimately ends up. So be clear on that and don't limit yourself, like really make it something that's attractive to you and, and be open to that vision expanding, you know, and adjusting along the way. But just doing that alone. And I mean, you talk to people who are stuck, like when I was

at the point of life, when I was stuck and I didn't know, I didn't have a vision. But as soon as I got a vision, then I started taking action. Then I started doing all the things that I needed to do. Then opportunities started showing up and I was able to take advantage of them. So create a vision, like create a solid vision and have the start working on your system around what it is that you need to do on a daily basis. So setting up habits that will support that vision. So everything, ideally, everything that you do on a daily basis should support your vision of your higher self.

And you want to just work towards that. And so I've created a PDF for your listeners, and I'll share the link with you that you can get that target practice system that helps you set up those habits and has a chart for you to keep track of it and things like the same one that i use with my athletes oh cool i'll put a link in the show notes up to that definitely cool man all right final thing my boy josh lajani he's a friend of mine he's been on the podcast before biggest saints fan oh nice so you got to give him a shout out hey shout out to josh man go Go Saints, man. All right, man. I think we did it, dude.

Yeah, definitely, man. Thanks for doing it, man. That's an inspiring message. And it's been super great to talk to you, man. I really appreciate it. Definitely, man. Thanks for having me, man. Cool.

So if you're digging on, is it knee? How do you say it? Knee. Yeah, if you're digging on knee, best way to find you is imnotyou.com and kneeyishobo on Twitter, yeah? Yep, and on Instagram as well, kneeyishobo, yeah. N-I-Y-I-S-O-B-O.

It's Shobo even though it's S-O-B-O, right? Yep, exactly. Yeah, cool, man. Anywhere else? Instagram, Twitter? Yep, and imnotyou.com, so you can find me. Cool, man. Thanks so much.

No doubt, man. I appreciate it. All right. Peace. And I'm not you.com. So you find me. Cool, man. Thanks so much. No doubt, man. Appreciate it. All right. Peace. All right. That's it. That's our show. I hope you guys enjoyed that. I totally dug me. I thought he was super cool. And I wanted to let you guys know that he has a gift for you guys. He wanted to make sure that some of the documents that we discussed during today's podcast would be accessible to you guys for free. So he's made three of his PDFs completely free for my listeners. It includes his daily blueprint, which is kind of a spreadsheet where you account for how you spend your time and how that moves your goals forward. account for how you spend your time and how that moves your goals forward. Also, his nine-step plan for creating bulletproof habits. And also, his accountability survey, the document that he gives his wife and kids that we discussed today.

Anyway, if you want to check those out, they're completely free. There's nothing else required of you. Just go to imnotyou.com forward slash richroll. I-M-N-O-T-Y-O-U dot com forward slash Rich Roll. And I'll also put that link up in the show notes, which is cool. That was very nice of him to do that. Speaking of show notes, don't forget to check out the remainder of this week's comprehensive show notes at richroll.com on the episode page. Lots of stuff to delve into there and take your edification to the next level. Don't forget to subscribe to

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